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Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 561 Living the word Professional

Postby Dilan » 17 May 2014, 19:05

Day 561 Living the word Professional

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live the word professional for myself and gift it to myself through applying/living it in my world and reality instead of dreaming and wishing to embody and have this word in my life and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not become an expert at my work and in doing so embody/become the word professional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to live and become professional in my work and life I have to be/become an expert in a/my profession/field.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to become an expert in a/my profession/field implies Education/Learning/Studying of that profession/field and then applying the knowledge/concepts in real life and continuing to do so until I perfect myself within the profession/field.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to be professional in my profession/field – I have to be competent in it and what it consist of and exist as, like the concepts, the functioning, it’s nature and how it moves and functions as itself.


And within that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to be professional in my/a profession/field I have to have sufficient skill, knowledge and thus be capable or at least sufficient for the purpose for the required task/job of/in my/a profession/field.

I see, realize and understand that to have sufficient skill and knowledge and thus be capable or at least sufficient for the purpose of the required task/job of/in my/a profession/field – implies/means that I have to obtain and integrate the knowledge and information about/of the concepts and mechanics and functioning and parts of that profession/field and understand them to the level/point of where I am able to convert that understanding into practical application where I am able to in fact apply/live/do something with that understand/knowledge that I integrate/obtain and use it to PRODUCE / be PRODUCTIVE / CREATE anything that is necessary/required for a job/task of/in that profession/field.

Further, I see, realize and understand that obtaining that knowledge and information and integrating it to then eventually come to an understanding of the mechanism and functioning of that profession/field in which I would like to be professional – means STUDYING; I have to study the profession/field and it’s concepts and parts and WORDS/VOCABULARY and the Meaning/Definition of these WORDS/VOCABULARY/TERMINOLOGY of that profession/field. Thus I have to read, listen, watch and work with the profession/field and it’s words/vocabulary/terminology that describes it’s concepts and mechanics and functioning until I understand it/them and am able to practically use the understanding to produce/be productive and accomplish the jobs/tasks necessary/required in my work/profession.

Thus, I see, realize and understand that becoming professional and living the word professional/being professional in my work and life means LEARNING and STUDYING the profession/field in which I would like to be professional and especially the profession’s words/vocabulary and meaning/definition and concepts as well as use of the words/vocabulary/terminology until I understand the underlying concepts and mechanics to the point where I can use the understanding practically to CREATE something with it; CREATE meaning where I can use the understanding to be productive in my job and accomplish the objective(s) of my job/work/assignments.

So, I see, realize and understand that becoming and being professional is a Process of Learning/Studying and Expanding my Knowledge/Understanding of the profession/field in which I would like to be professional in/at and thus I can live being professional by moving myself to study/learn/integrate/understand the words/vocabulary/terminology of my/a profession/field in which I would like to be professional in/at to then further understand/learn the concepts, mechanics and nature of the profession and how it moves/functions until I can use that understanding/what I learn to Create/Produce/Be Productive in my Work/Job/Assignments at Work and Accomplish the Objective(s) of my Work/Job/Assignment with Ease.

I will continue more with this in my next post.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 562 Doubt at Work

Postby Dilan » 25 May 2014, 10:09

Day 562 Doubt at Work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not be able to grasp/understand the tools that I am working with at work, because they still seem complex to me and I don’t understand them yet – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I literally just started my education/learning process for these tools and that as I realized before: Learning/Studying and Understanding and then being able to use/apply what I understand is a process that takes place in space and time and thus that it will take some more time to learn/study and accumulate understanding and skill.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow doubt to creep into my mind and for me to participate in and believe the doubt – instead of assessing the doubt and see if it shows points that I am not yet effective enough or that I am not directing myself to learn/understand/study more and become effective and that that is the reason for the existence of the doubt – and then according construct/come-up/investigate solutions and test them by living them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay and continue staying in the doubt-energy/experience when it manifest within my mind – and go deeper and deeper and deeper into it, like handing the entirety of myself over to it, instead of breathing and stabilizing myself when/as the doubt manifest/comes up within my mind and move/direct myself immediately out of the doubt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I will eventually understand and be able to apply/use/create with the knowledge and information that I learn/study/integrate if I put in the required time and effort to study/learn/understand it and then practically apply/use it in real-life and real-time.

I see, realize and understand that when doubt comes up in my mind I don’t want to stay in it and perpetuate it and/or hand-myself completely over to it, like a form of giving-up – but rather instead I want to immediately breathe and stabilize myself and use the doubt as a cross-reference for me to assess/check/see/investigate/look at what I am doubting and if there are real physical tangible points/reasons to the doubt and if there are to then define/name/specify these points that are valid and see how and where and what type of solution can or do I need/require to find, and implement and live – and what do I need to change within myself and/or my self-mind-physical relationship and world, reality and my living to resolve the points that are represented by the Doubt itself.

Like, if I have a doubt towards being able to learn/understand something – that I might see/find that behind the doubt the doubt is actually showing that it exist because I am not being effective/enough in my learning/studying of the something that I study/learn – and that the solution is to change my studying/learning, like either to study more specifically, or to slow down, or I find that the problem is caused mainly by vocabulary that I don’t understand/know the definition of and that the solution is to then study/learn/integrate the vocabulary and definitions and so on – and then see if the doubt goes away, if it doesn’t to continue investigating what or if there are any other points where I am not yet doing enough to be effective enough and then find a solution to it.

Thank you.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

563 Complain, complaining, complained, complaint

Postby Dilan » 25 May 2014, 11:19

Day 563 Complain, complaining, complained, complaint

In this post I will be starting and walking the word “complain” for I became aware of how extensively I am and have been using and Living this word in my life and process especially.

Dictionary definition:

complain

verb (used without object)

to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault: He complained constantly about the noise in the corridor.
to tell of one’s pains, ailments, etc.: to complain of a backache.
to make a formal accusation: If you think you’ve been swindled, complain to the police.
source: Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2014.

to express resentment, displeasure, etc, esp habitually; grumble
( foll by of ) to state the presence of pain, illness, etc, esp in the hope of sympathy: she complained of a headache
source: Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain to myself about not being effective enough in my process at all – instead of actually doing something about it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to do something about me not being effective enough at all in my process but instead just complain and experience anxiety about it – not seeing, realizing and understanding that I will always remain being ineffective for and unless I do something about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about not using the time that I do have available to do my writing, self-forgiveness, DIP etc. but using it to browse the internet and be on Facebook or watch TV shows – instead of doing something about it like stop watching TV shows or browsing the internet randomly and instead do my writing, self-forgiveness, DIP and so on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain instead of doing something about the problems in my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain instead of living and doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express dissatisfaction, uneasiness, resentment and grief toward myself not being effective enough and doing enough in my process and not using my time effectively – and instead of doing something about it – just continue complaining.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do something about my dissatisfaction, uneasiness, resentment and grief that I experience towards myself for not being effective enough and not walking my process enough as I see and am aware that I could actually really – such as write about, forgive myself for allowing myself to be like that and find/script and apply/live the self-corrective applications as solutions to that behavior, habit and pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find and try to find fault at Time itself for me not being effective enough and walking my process enough as I see and am aware that I could – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that Time itself is not to blame because I am the One who is not using the Time that I do have available here and there effectively to walk my process; doing my writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements, DIP, reflecting upon myself and my day, self-introspection etc.

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame Time itself for why I am not effective enough and walking my process to the potential/ability/amount/extent that I practically could for I see, realize and am aware that I could do more and walk more but don’t and then complain about Time – blame Time itself just so that I don’t have to take self-responsibility and Face Myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and backchat about the ‘pains’ I feel within myself due to me seeing and being fully aware that I am being ineffective in my process and am not walking it to the extent that I should as am able to – instead of doing something about the source of my pain, which is to write and do forgiveness about why I am experiencing the ‘pain’ and find solutions to it and apply/live it, to in so doing change the thing/point in my life/living/self that is causing/at the source of this pain, and in that resolve the ‘pain’.

So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in thinking and backchat just keep telling myself about the ‘pain’ (complain) due to me not walking my process effectively and enough as I see and am aware that I should and could – instead of actually and practically doing something to resolve the ‘pain’ = Write and do Self-Forgiveness about why I am not walking and being effective and enough in my process and then find solutions and live/apply them and change who I am towards and within walking process and practically resolve the ‘pain’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that thinking and backchatting about my ‘pain’ and uneasiness I experience within myself towards and due to me not being effective and enough in my walking and application of process is not going to resolve anything at all – and that I actually and physically need to do something about it; I need to stop the source of the ‘pain’ which is all the reasons that I allow to exist in my mind and that I allow myself to use to not be and walk effective and enough in my process as I see and am already aware that I could and should.

Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that just/only telling and speaking to myself constantly and continuously about my pain and uneasiness in thought and backchat is not going to resolve anything at all – and instead I need to actually and practically do something about it to resolve it.

I will be continuing in my next writing. Thank you.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 564 Habitually Complaining

Postby Dilan » 27 May 2014, 21:22

Day 564 Habitually Complaining

Today I am continuing with self-forgiveness for the following points of the word “complain”:

to express resentment, displeasure, etc, esp habitually; grumble
( foll by of ) to state the presence of pain, illness, etc, esp in the hope of sympathy: she complained of a headache
source: Collins English Dictionary – Complete & Unabridged 10th Edition 2009 © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to habitually express resentment and displeasure towards myself and my world about me not walking and being effective and enough in my process, my writing and self-forgiveness as well as self-corrective application and in that just rant and rave about myself without looking for and proposing any corrective solution to/for myself to become/be more effective and enough in my process-walking and self-application and self-change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and create/develop/condition the habit within my mind/self of habitually complaining about myself and where I see that I am not effective and enough in my process-walking; my self-forgiveness, writing and self-corrective application and self-change – instead of creating a practical self-support habit of for example whenever I see myself complaining about something to realize that it’s a point where I see and am aware that I am not being self-honest and effective or enough within some point in my process or life and living or where I’m not living up to my utmost potential – and to then find that point and find/propose a corrective solution for myself and live it and in so doing change the things/points in my life/living that I don’t like if practically possible and relevant; relevant in the sense that if it’s Best for All or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to habitually grumble about myself and that I am not being and living my process effective and enough as I see and am aware that I could – instead of actually doing something about it and investigate and propose and find solutions to this.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to habitually state the presence of my displeasure/dissatisfaction that I have with myself in relation to me not being and living effective and enough in my process – in hope to get some sympathy and for someone or something – life itself – to show some sympathy for me and make my process easier for me – but not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I actually mean/hope for within the statement of “make my process easier” here, is that I hope that something or someone – life itself – walks and does my process for me instead of me having to face all the resistances, energies and the totality of my mind and self and then also walk the process of self-correction/self-change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and exist within the hope within my mind of life and process itself showing sympathy for me and my struggle in my process and help me and do/walk the process for me – instead of seeing, realizing and understand that what I call ‘struggle’ in my process is not real struggle but me facing and being confronted with Energy/Energies in my Mind – but that I am experiencing the process/point of Facing and Walking through energies of my mind and all that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and build within my mind – as a struggle because I am actually confronting something that has taken Years – all my life to build/create – my mind/self – and to change that, I am being met with resistance and other protection mechanisms of my mind to prevent that change and destroy/uproot the things that have taken YEARS to build/create in the first place; so the process of facing and changing my roots/nature/what I have created is going to be met by resistance in my mind, which again is but just another form of energy like any other energy; in the end it’s energy, again.

And thus, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the sympathy that I hope for and wish to get from life itself and from process itself – is not going to happen, because what I am in fact hoping and wishing for is to be able to abdicate my responsibility of facing and changing myself as my mind and hope and wish for life and process itself to do it for me or to allow me to skip having to walk this process and just be granted access and equality to life immediately without any effort or thing I have to do myself and this is self-dishonest and not possible for I see and realize that it’s myself who has disconnected/separated myself from the Life that I actually am Equal to through all that I have accepted and allowed myself to become as myself/my beingness and thus commonsense is that I am the only one who can grant myself access and equality again to Life through changing who I am and my Inner and Outer Living/Who I am to align it to the ‘way’/principle of Life as Equality and Oneness as What’s Best for All again – and in so doing grant myself access to the Life/Essence/’Truth’ that/who I really am as an Equal of/to Life itself.

I will continue in my next writing. Thank you!



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 565 Push, Redefining

Postby Dilan » 09 Jun 2014, 09:59

Day 565 Push, Redefining

Today I am starting to open up and walk my relationship towards the word ‘push’/’pushing’ and in that my re-definition process of that word and how I would like and am going to practically live this word to assist and support me in my life, living and process.

My current definition:

to force oneself to do things one doesn’t like or want to do necessarily (negative)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the word ‘push’ and the concept of ‘pushing’ in an energetically/emotionally negative way and context, because to ‘push myself’ to e.g. do my writing or self-forgiveness when in a moment I don’t feel like it, is/means to force myself to do the writing/self-forgiveness/something that I don’t necessarily want to do in that moment.

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define forcing myself to do things I don’t necessarily like or want to do in a particular moment as something bad and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect resistance-energy to the point of forcing (pushing) myself to do things/something (like writing and self-forgiveness or other responsibilities or work) if I don’t necessarily like or want to do them in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that to force (push) myself to do something I don’t necessarily like or want to do in a moment (like e.g. self-forgiveness or writing) is actually to force (push) myself beyond and through the resistance/resistance-energy that I experience and that is present within me/my mind in that moment.


Thus, I see, realize and understand that it is actually to force (push) myself through and beyond the resistance-energy that I experience within my mind towards that something/task (e.g. self-forgiveness and writing).

I see, realize and understand that I cannot always and only do what I like or want to do and the point of liking some things and disliking others is also questionable in this context of ‘not wanting to do something I don’t like or want in a moment’, for there is nothing to dislike about writing and self-forgiveness and thus the EXPERIENCE of DISLIKE that I get towards doing writing and self-forgiveness is in fact an EXPERIENCE in my mind towards it and acts as the Resistance that I then experience towards doing my writing and self-forgiveness; experiencing resistance towards doing writing and self-forgiveness due to experiencing an emotion/energy of dislike towards writing and self-forgiveness.

Thus, I see, realize and understand that I can’t always and only do the things I like or want to do, because there are also things that have a priority and importance to be done, even if they are not the things I like the most or prefer and would instead prefer doing something else. Such as process: It is of priority and importance to walk my process for myself, but also for existence as a whole, otherwise I will not be able to understand myself and my mind and creation and so not be able to assist and support myself to stop/transcend the points/things within and of myself as the mind that do not serve the best interest of me and everyone/everything else in Equality and Oneness as Life – and also not be able to contribute to changing this world/existence by contributing to other peoples process of self-realization, self-awareness, self-change and self-creation.

And, I see, realize and understand that doing and walking the process that will eventually lead to stopping the abuse of life in this world and existence just IS something of highest priority and importance and if it means stepping out of my comfort zone and having to let a few things go for a while until this process is done, then so be it. That is commonsense and what I would like for myself if I were in positions of being abused like animals and other people and things are in this world.

Thus, there is no room for ‘preference’ as ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ of what to do. The bottom line is: Whatever is necessary and required to walk this process for myself to completion; completion meaning the point of becoming equal and one with the physical and from there LIVING and CREATING myself for real from there on, and then completion in the bigger picture of existence where everyone and everything is in equality and oneness in honor of each other as life and from there remain living and existing as such into eternity – is of highest importance and priority and does not and cannot be defined or labeled into any categories of ‘like’ or ‘dislike’: It’s something choice-less that has to be done if I/one care about self as life.

tiresome and unpleasant (negative)
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience pushing myself to do things (like writing and self-forgiveness) and to do them properly and into completion – in an emotionally/energetically negatively charged experience because of defining it as tiresome and unpleasant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define pushing myself to do things (like writing and self-forgiveness) and do them properly and into completion as tiresome and unpleasant and to connect ‘pushing myself’ to the words ‘tiresome’/’tired’ and ‘unpleasant’ – because I get tired and feel unpleasant even thinking about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and experience tiredness and feel unpleasant within my body just by thinking and remembering myself of the past of pushing myself – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the tiredness I experience is not a physical real exhaustion but is an Energy-Experience of/as Tiredness; it is an ENERGY, an EXPERIENCE and I have to find out why and where it comes from that all of a sudden, from one moment to the next I feel/experience myself as tired when it comes to pushing myself to walk my process and e.g. do my writing and self-forgiveness or self-corrective application.

Where, what and how can I already incorporate some corrective applications as a start for changing this point/relationship I have towards the word ‘pushing’ / ‘pushing myself’ so that I already incorporate the self-corrective application and real physical self-change process for this mind-point and not just have it be and remain in/within the dimensions/sections/part of Writing and Self-Forgiveness only, but that I also take it through into the third dimension which is the real physical self-corrective application and self-change?

When and as I see and find that I am experiencing or reacting in resistance towards the word ‘push’/pushing’ and ‘pushing myself’ towards doing something, e.g. my writing and self-forgiveness: I take a breath. I stop within myself for a moment and just allow myself to breathe for a while. I give myself the space and time within myself to first just breathe comfortably and stabilize myself within my mind/myself through/by breathing and stopping participation within the resistance-energy and whatever is going on in my mind (thoughts, backchat etc.). While I breathe I also remind myself that pushing myself is not really something energetically and should thus not trigger or come with any emotions or energy-experiences; it is a pure physical SELF-MOVEMENT that takes place where I am acting and standing as The Force that makes me Move myself to do the things that I have and need to do and to Move myself to Live Words and thus Live Myself and not have my mind ‘live for me’. So I breathe and I let-go of the resistance-energy, I do not allow myself to attach to it and hold onto it, I let it go and use out-breaths to assist with letting-go. Then, I live/apply this realization of what ‘pushing’ means practically and I live the word ‘push’ to assist and support myself to further assist with living the words Self-Forgiveness, Self-Writing and Self-Movement and any other words that I would like to live as myself.

I breathe and I ground myself with my breath and keep myself away from participating in and giving-into the resistance-energy or the dislike-like relationship energy-experiences I have / experience within my mind in that/such moment.

I’ll be going up to here for this writing and continue in my next writing.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 570 Self-Forgiveness is hard to do – Character

Postby Dilan » 27 Sep 2014, 20:33

Day 570 Self-Forgiveness is hard to do – Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and exist as the “Self-Forgiveness is hard to do”-Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the “Self-Forgiveness is hard to do”-Character instead of directing myself as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that applying/doing self-forgiveness is hard and difficult to apply because I always experience a lot of resistance towards it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just because I always experience resistance and sometimes lots of it when it comes to doing my writing or self-forgiveness – to think and believe that it’s hard and difficult and impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that doing my writing and self-forgiveness is hard and difficult and impossible.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect writing and self-forgiveness to the word hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect writing and self-forgiveness to the word difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect writing and self-forgiveness to the word impossible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect ‘experiencing resistance towards writing’ to ‘I cannot do my writing and self-forgiveness’ – thinking and believing that just because I am experiencing resistance to writing and self-forgiveness that automatically I cannot do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that despite experiencing resistance to writing and self-forgiveness I can still do my writing and self-forgiveness – which is proven right now by me writing this and doing this very self-forgiveness session here while I experience resistance to it, and while I have been experiencing resistance to it before I started.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have been experiencing resistance/a lot of resistance BEFORE I started this very self-forgvieness session that I am doing right now, but that I have been able to start it and be right here doing it simply by making that DECISION and APPLYING it/PUSHING myself to LIVE it – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I CAN do that always; whenever I am experiencing resistance to it.

So, within that: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and udnerstand that the belief and statement that I make wihtin my mind that I cannot do writing and self-forgiveness – is simply a lie; an invalid statement that is NOT truth – for I see, realize and understand that with this very moment here and the time that has passed since the very first word I wrote in startng this very self-forgiveness session here and still writing – is my proof that I still CAN do my writing and self-forgiveness despite having and experiencing resistance/resistance-energy to it before starting it or while being in the middle of it.

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I can never again re-start my blogging / daily writing / consistant writing – just because I haven’t been able to do so up to now with all the resistance I have been experiencing and falling at / not ‘being able’ to move through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I CAN re-start my consistent blogging / writing / self-application in my process once more – and that the point of ‘not being able’ to move through my resistances so far to get back to that point of consistent self-application / writing/self-forgiveness in my process – has been because of me not pushing myself to do so, out of holding-myself -back in nothing more but MY OWN MIND – out of believing that I need my mind for it to first be willing to do the writing/self-forgiveness/self-application or that my MIND needs to be in the MOOD for writing/self-forgiveness/self-application INSTEAD of seeing, realizing and understanding that I do NOT need the mind‘s permission or MOOD for that –– That it is the PHYSICAL BODY that does the speaking or writing or application – NOT the MIND – and so the MIND can NOT hold one/me back from writing/self-forgiveness/self-application – for it is the BODY who does the writing with the PHYSICAL HANDS, or it is the BODY who does the SPEAKING with the MOUTH/THROAT/VOICE-BOX/VOCAL-CORDS and NOT the MIND, or it is the BODY who does the Self-Application/Behavior Correction/Movements of Self-Corrective Application – and NOT the MIND = So – The MIND can NOT hold one/me/self/the body back – only if ALLOWED by one’s SELF – thus by SELF-DECISION.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 572 Morning Experience of Complaint and Judgement

Postby Dilan » 19 Oct 2014, 21:31

Day 572 Morning Experience of Complaint and Judgement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define waking up / getting up from the bed in the morning as hard and difficult because I feel drowsy and want more sleep and then start complaining in my mind/head about it/the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the morning when I have to ake up / get out of bed due to work or responsibilities start complaining and going into complain in my mind/head, because the thoughts that arise are within the context of asking myself why I have to get up this early and how come other people do not have to and can sleep longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about having to get up early in the morning to go to work but other people being able to sleep longer than me, because I feel so drowsy and tired when I have to get up.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame other people who are able to sleep longer than me for me being drowsy and tired and having to wake up early to go to work, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it’s not their fault, but that due to my work requiring me to wake up that early – it simply is a practical physical thing that needs to be done.

Within that, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to instead of blamiing and judging other people for being able to sleep longer than me in the mornings – work with my own mind-reactions and experiences of tiredness and drowsiness and find practical solutions for myself to aid in making the morning-experience of getting up/waking up easier and more comfortable and fluent for me, but I cannot do that if I accept and allow myself to blame, judge and complain about the physical circumstances that are simply Part-Of my Current-Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think how hard and difficult it is to wake up and get out of bed to go to work in the morning, especially if it’s cold and still dark outside, and to think about how nice and good other people have it whom are able to sleep longer in the mornings.

For, I see, realize and understand that thinking about it/that actually creates and adds-to the energetic experiences of emotions in my mind of it.

Thus, I see, realize and understand that one solution that I already can see and have and realize/d that will help/assist and support me in transcending this ‘morning-experience’/’morning pattern’ of feeling like shit due to having to get out of bed, wishing to be able to sleep longer –– is to STOP thinking/STOP accepting and allowing myself to THINK about how hard and difficult it is to wake up and get out of bed in the morning, especially if it’s cold and still dark outside, and how nice and comfy other people have it whom are allowed to and able to sleep longer.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 574 Thirst for Knowledge, Fear of Feeling Lost

Postby Dilan » 29 Oct 2014, 23:13

Day 574 Thirst for Knowledge, Fear of Feeling Lost

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress about work and school, because there is so much that I want to know and feel overwhelmed with the amount of information that I find more and more of on a daily basis researching topics/things and feel like I can’t / will never be able to catch up with all the information that is out there existent for a single topic/subject that I want to know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the keyword is ‘want’ and to see that I actually ‘want’ and ‘desire’ to know all there is to know (all the information in all it’s multidimensional contexts) for a single/every subject/topic out of emotional/feeling energy experiences, such as fear and also ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within an energetically/emotionally/feeling driven desire and want to obtain and know and have all the information there is for a single/every subject/topic in the world, because I want to be the best and know the best, as well as not ever have to be/get into a situation where I feel lost by not knowing something/not knowing what to do. (note: so it’s fear of not knowing something/not knowing what to do as fear of ‘being’/feeling lost)

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn/study and approach integration new information from the startingpoint of fear of not knowing as fear of ‘being’/feeling lost in a situation when/if I were to not know/have any reference/experience/knowledge about a topic/subject/point.

… I will continue within my next writing.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Day 576 Resistance to Process: Leisure Time

Postby Dilan » 31 Jan 2015, 22:38

Day 576 Resistance to Process: Leisure Time

This is part of the Resistance to Process Series I am/will be walking to understand this point within myself and my life and find solutions to get myself out of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist applying self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into emotional reaction towards applying doing my self-forgiveness, because I feel like self-forgiveness will rob/consume a lot of my free/leisure time that I want to spend differently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to spending my leisure time with self-forgiveness or other process responsibilities because within me deep down I experience a yearning for rest as in wanting to finally rest and have some time to rest from all the stress ad other responsibilities that I have been dealing with in my life and world, like work and school and studying and now to do self-forgiveness when I have none of the other world/reality responsibilities to do I feel like self-forgiveness and process is cutting into my leisure time that I feel like I have a right to.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define process as an annoying obligation that kills my free time that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see process as an annoying obligation that kills my free time and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see process as like an annoying fly that bugs me, because I see it as something that kills my free/leisure time that I would like to spend differently and relaxing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define leisure/free time as ‘more important’ than process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define process and doing process responsibilities as time-killers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to backchat about how process responsibilities like self-forgiveness are killing my leisure time instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the true reason behind such backchat is that I do not want to let go of my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize, see and understand that I really do not want to move past my comfort zone and let go of my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value my self-interest more than my entire life which process is the self-discovery and self-creation path of, thus a huge integral part of the entirety of my life and saying I value my self-interest more than process is saying that I value my self-interest more than my entire life/self.

Thank you.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 07 Aug 2016, 03:55

(579) Standing in My Own Way – Part 1 @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... ay-part-1/

Part 1.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in the way of myself, preventing me from moving on and forward in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other separate/external things, like experiences of resistance, for being the reason why I keep remaining stuck in my same thoughts, imaginations, backchats, emotional/feeling experiences and patterns (e.g. laziness, giving-up) instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that these are not at the root of my problem but that what is at the root of my problem is: Me. Self. I.

I see, realize and understand that I, Me, Self is at the root of the problem/point of why I am/keep stuck in the same mind points of/where I do not proceed and move forward in my process, my self-application and see, realize and understand that these things I blame, like laziness, resistance and so on have become me – I have become them — internalized them — made them part of Me, I, Self – so that I, Me, Self is the One who is standing in my own way and means of proceeding and moving on/forward in my process, forgiving the past times of not moving forward and allow myself to proceed and move on and resume/start again my process of self-dedicated and self-disciplined self-application.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I/Self/Me is the One who is not accepting and allowing myself to move on and proceed in my process — move on past my experiences of resistance, laziness and comfort.

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and remain the One that is not accepting and allowing me to move one and proceed in/with my process — accepting and allowing me to go past my experiences and resistances and comfort, like I do now — seeing, realizing and understanding that this/these very moments I have been writing the self-forgiveness since the beginning of this session is/are self-proof that I CAN move on and past these experiences of resistance, fear of not knowing where and how to start/begin my process/writing again, comfort of remaining stuck in the known patterns and experiences — that I CAN move on and past those IF I accept and allow myself to NOT stand in my own way. I am my own Self-, Living- Proof of being able/capable of doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own worst enemy in moving forward in my process – by accepting and allowing myself to stand in my own way of doing so but blindly blame other things for being at the root of the problem, like these other things are preventing me from moving on and forward, such as resistance, laziness, my past, etc. instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I am using these as validations to justify it to myself why I keep being so to speak ‘unable’ to move on and proceed in my process.

I see, realize and understand that things like laziness, my past, experiences of resistance, etc. are Not the root of my problem and the true/real reason of why I am not proceeding and moving on in my process but instead remain stuck in the same experiences over and over again over extended periods of time — but that instead of that it is Me/Myself/I that is the One who is accepting and allowing myself to stand/be in my own way, not accepting and allowing me to by self-movement internally and externally ‘just do it’ and proceed and move on in my process.

To be continued in Part 2.




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