Jozsef's Journey to Life

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jozsef
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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 08 Feb 2014, 14:49

DAY 146
http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-2.html
Continuing on

[JTL 145] Positive and negative energetic delusions part 1

with Self-corrective statements to stop the habit of going virtual.

I start with quoting from this blog link:
2012: Directions for Ascension – How to know you’re Ascending into the right Direction:
"The “Religion of the Self” – this “Self” is what we’ve defined as ‘who we are’ in/as our Minds as the conglomeration of Personalities through which we live this “Self” and the protector and defender of all of one’s Personalities is the EGO which is the one that will rear its head in attacking anything/anyone that in any way represents a threat to having to change this “Self” in any way whatsoever."

For more, read further at the blog, I continue with self-correction statements here:

When and as I define my real physical living and having the starting point of the self-definition is how things are in reality and wanting to rely on definitions of who I am and how things are I STOP, I breathe, I trust myself to be here and re-align myself to apply common sense and letting go the fear of not knowing, the fear of failure, the fear of pain, the fear of myself, the fear of fear.

When and as I see that I think about something and having feelings, energetic reactions - I realize I am going into the past-created mind-personality which is in fact the EGO to protect my perceived self for surviving, for remaining who I've defined myself to be therefore I let it all go and I re-align myself to be here, be aware of the physical, the body, the senses, surroundings and the breath of my human physical body as myself.

When and as I experience doubt, uncertainty, worry, fear - I stop, I realize I go into self-definitions, I go into personality, I go into mind, thoughts, feelings so I direct myself to stop, stop for a moment and let all go and breathe, just breathe and embrace the physical presence and stabilizing myself here.

When and as I experience anxiety about what I do, what would happen, about interaction with others, using mass transit and facing thousands of people very closely - I realize that the reality is here and if I define it by thoughts, feel about what is here by energetic feelings as positive and negative - I am trying to superimpose the presence with the past wherein I gave permission to my virtual self to direct me so I literally stop for a moment and in one breath I re-align myself to focus to what is physically here.

When and as I worry and fear that without thinking, feeling, having emotions I am not able to be, operate, work, be effective, be a living human being - I realize that it is the worry, the fear what is blocking me in the moment to see that by exactly those what I fear to let go I am not able to fully be, operate, work, live to the utmost potential of who I can be with direct amalgamation of all what is here without the need of act of separation of thinking - so I stop, I stop, I stop until I am clear within and I act.

When and as I feel I can not trust in and as myself without thoughts, thinking, the little voice, the little me, the backchat, the silent whisperer, the god within me as the mind of inner reflection of myself - I realize this is the greatest con I've been subjected to by believing that with the inner separation I can be myself so I let it all go and explore what is beyond definitions, thoughts.

When and as I face difficulty to stop a thought-pattern within me what is re- and reoccurring and in any way whatsoever I miss moments directly here - I realize I do require self-investigation, self-forgiveness, self-correction and self-commitments to write, to voice, to act as equal as one to re-mediate myself from the energetic possession of my self-accepted limitations.

When and as I am using the act of separation by myself defining/judging and go into the action of defining/judging towards an apparently 'separate' subject of my definition - I realize about that I already allowed polarity separation of comparison by words to stand for me, tell me what is it and until I do not question, understand, stop that - I am unable to stand equal and one with the 'subject' of my definition, therefore I will be never whole with that point of myself, so I apply common sense, and I stop, stop defining, stop thinking, stop relying on past conclusions, I breathe, and I re-align myself to stand and act here undefined.

When and as I automatically feel myself in a way and I am unaware of all dimensions about it in myself, in physical reality - it is questionable, it can not be trusted, so I breathe, I apply common sense and let go the need for comparison, definition, feeling to tell me who I am.

When and as I feel like I am unable to do something without feeling, without positive feeling, without the starting point of stopping the negative feeling - I realize I am programmed and I am limited by circumstances what I do not direct therefore I stop acting by definition, I act with direct decision and self-trust within breathing presence physically.

When and as I feel like I am unable to direct my life, an aspect of my life, a social part of my life wherein I feel overwhelmed or pushed, suppressed or excluded - I realize it is the comparison within me what fucks up direct presence, direct power of myself here and I realize within writing about it I can support myself to see the points first and understand how I am accepting self-limitation which by I automatically allow being directed by forces and energies, events and circumstances to direct me, so I direct myself to sit down and write it out.

When and as I allow a thought that I to not have time, I do not need to write out the inner judgments, comparisons within - I realize it is also a self-accepted limitation within fear of change, fear of facing self, fear of not having enough time for myself so I realize - with this I actually give the time for myself to change and become more effective, start living.

When and as I feel like I am unable to move without positive energies, without being motivated by wanting to stop negative energies I realize I allowed myself to define myself according to energy, according to feelings, which to I've became addicted to and I do require to stop, to let go, to transcend within practically which starts with writing, self-correction, self-forgiveness, self-commitment and within living it out I see that I am able to let go the energetic dependency.

When and as I am not seeing why energetic reactions of positive and negative within my mind and body is self-delusion I realize that all energies have the source of 'PHYSICAL' here which is the body what requires to be supported by food, shelter, water, health care so in fact when I feel good - I rely on the physical support, without that I would not have power over my energies within myself who I've defined myself to be therefore I realize that those who has no access to proper food, shelter, water, health care are subjected to physical and energetic experiences what they can not direct, they can suffer from so the solution is to give what I want to receive within practically doing something to ensure that all gets it.

When and as I feel so fucking good I realize that it is because I have a position in the capitalistic system wherein I can nurture my body to experience myself good and within neglecting others who do not have such support in the system I actually say them 'fuck you' so I realize that it is not about myself but all equally and when I am feeling good because I neglect reality wherein all exists just as like me equally.

When and as I feel good when I do not have to worry and consider others, to take care fellow humans I realize that it is of self-definition, of fear, of energy of losing myself who I've defined myself to be as positive what with I defined I can not experience when facing reality what I've defined as negative therefore using excuses to why I do not ACT according to what is best not only for myself but others, then I realize I virtually created within and nurtured an image of self which is EGO what I commit myself to stop with the practical tools of Desteni I Process to be able to face all beings that I do not chose to say to them 'fuck you' but let go all what is not practical for manifesting what is best for all, at least on the physical level of food, shelter, education, health care, water, which is the first priority to really manifest live, love, compassion in this world.

I commit myself to LIVE the self-corrections I write, to find practical ways to become the words I write and say and act.
I commit myself to stop the comparison within my mind instead of trusting my whole beingness to be able to direct myself and take responsibility for all what is here.

to be continued



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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 09 Feb 2014, 16:16

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-3.html

Within the last post I've written Self-corrective statements on how to prepare and script myself to let go the automatic judgment/definition/comparison within and as the polarity of the mind of positive and negative.

It is crucial to realize that 'intent' and 'understanding' here is not enough, because the human physical body itself has been already programmed to react automatically, so physical body presence awareness has to be developed with constant and consistent expanding on how one physically feels in order to even recognize the patterns being allowed oneself to participate within meanwhile slowing down inside to see each patterns and decompose within Self-honesty to see when I do have the starting point of FEAR.

Within physical reality - there is time and space what must be considered - even knowing is a con when one is not able to live it physically in all moments equally - for instance driving car or becoming effective salesman. In the physical moments constantly one must be able to be aware of the points and direct self meanwhile not fall into the energetic temptation of doubt, fear, limitations and there is no shortcut, no backdoor exists - even with all drug-enhanced experiences one must realize that experience versus physical reality must be seen through within absolute certainty.

Experiences come and go and can be stimulated by the already programmed human physical body to react - and to face those systems one must learn the practical tools to walk through.

Let's see one point from my last post:

When and as I experience doubt, uncertainty, worry, fear - I stop, I realize I go into self-definitions, I go into personality, I go into mind, thoughts, feelings so I direct myself to stop, stop for a moment and let all go and breathe, just breathe and embrace the physical presence and stabilizing myself here.

Within this if I trace back the 'doubt', 'uncertainty', 'worry', 'fear' - if I could see my entire life from when I've first participated within these - I would see the initial patterns of comparing my life currently with already accepted images/pictures, having the energetic experiences of positive/negative feelings/emotions and seeing each participation within comparison, judgment I've allowed in my mind to take place - and how it accumulated to giving permission to automatically compute/process/virtualise real physical events into experiences of negative/positive in order to survive/become effective in the system and by that compounding into a personality matrix, a fuzzy logic rulebook, wherein I allowed for instance worry about facing certain people, doing specific activities.

If we would be able to roll out all life's external events, physical experiences and internal mind-reactions in a timeline and walk through those within inner silence - we would be able to see how ridiculous what we allow ourselves to degrade into.

How even one thought, a specific feeling can accumulate into catastrophic life-events for ourselves or for others without understanding it.

But we do not see, we are unable to see our lives in such detailed overview - why? Because we are so fucking busy all the time our minds, with our surviving, with our pursuit of happiness, the polarity of the mind. Never believe anything - test it out, cross-reference, rely on it, is it really self, practical, supportive? No compromise, no half-measures - I am life or I am a programmed robot - seems radical, but within these times, within this human system - Radical Self-honesty is required to live.

All desires fucks up real self-expression 'here' - because for a desire to be developed - a lack first must arise what requires comparison, what requires fear - and by that one accumulates self-stimulation with thoughts/feelings/emotions - positive and negative - simple as that. Any desire is of fear - but to know that - I can not prove that for anyone.

One must investigate to realize - going deeper and deeper into self-defined acceptances, self-allowed accumulations is required - and specifically see the exact patterns how limiting those are and then giving oneself a new opportunity to let it go - to correct oneself and live without fear.

Also requiring a starting point for stabilize - otherwise the 'mind(which is our accumulated self-acceptances) will shoot more and more intensely with reactions, feelings, thoughts, energies until it gets one's attention and then participating within it, being influenced with it, being directed by and as it will be accumulated. The greatest stability point within our live is our human physical body, the flesh, which is always here, located in this reality, busy breathing all the time. This is our location, we can utilize this great opportunity to develop constant, consistent presence within it and stop all perceived separation from it - and become the body literally to act always immediately and without the inner judgment/comparison/separation.

It is crucial also to realize that one singular 'relationship' within our mind is enough to be enslaved completely by ourselves only.

For instance even a typical desire for 'a boyfriend to have/live with/start family/make kids/be happy' pattern can fuck one up to such a degree that starts to compromise LIVING MOMENT HERE by being obsessed with our mind's images/needs/expectations/desires.

So typical that many boys dream of beautifully shaped, cute faced kind women to have as wife and women dream of handsome rich gentlemen and when one is crushing down facing reality being in friction with one's mind - it is not so pleasant. And then one can let go the mind and see what is the best for all participants?

And when one starts to make compromises - is it still practical, what one can let go of desires and what still wants to have and not seeing that we have became such a screwed gods within our minds and have to land to earth and use common sense.

Many times our mind exactly suggest desires which can never be fulfilled - or even if so - by living it out one can realize - OMG WTF this is terrible then many times it is too late - manifested consequences remain.

These are the questions what has to be asked looking into the mirror when one is busy to see how reality goes, how abuse is being taken place every day in the human system being justified with the pursuit of happiness, just feeling good, deserving positive etc.

So when one is unable to sit down and ask these questions within Self-honesty - then one will go on with the 'program' what has been accumulated into the EGO personality which is possessing the living body to pursuit self-defined desires to be fulfilled.

After facing reality - one might have to go through the experience of loss and pain until realizes what are the real values, what is practical - but it is always common sense to self stops self than reality shows what is real by literally bursting all bubbles what seemed so real in our mind, imagination, desires, thinking, feeling.

So desires are just an example but when one is being possessed with ideas what are completely impractical and not supporting living and being in harmony with all others (which seems tricky in a cannibalistic capitalistic system already) one hears nothing else but one's own mind.

It may even seem 'practical' when justifying this self-limitation by stating that 'it helps to avoid failures/prevent ineffective/problematic experiences' because it seemed to be working once or more.

Or even to literally become the 'living' excuse that 'with compounding negative emotions about something/someone' one can use that frustration/anger/etc to stand up by being stimulated with that energetic experience, which is defined as 'I am angry'.

Meanwhile not seeing/realizing/understanding that this is exactly how robots are programmed - real robots, drones, even a rice cooking machine!

We can call it feelings and emotions are so human but is it worthy if we just skip seeing BILLIONS of sufferings? I am sure that I could program emotions and feelings into machines if I would have enormous amount of time, even programming them to use the excuse by this to call themselves as 'life'.

Study fuzzy logic, study how systems, how human mind works and let go all self-limitation which entails positive feelings and negative emotions as well.

It is absolutely possible to develop direct self-expression without any need of inner judgments, comparisons - how we could be so sure that we can not live without those if we have never even tried?

That is why this blog is here, that is why the all other 7 Years of Journey to Life blogs are here - to show that it is possible, not only showing, but sharing one's process how practically walking it.

So after a long introduction - let us walk some Self-commitments in regards to the previous self-commitment statements.

I commit myself to live the correction, the self-forgiveness, to stop myself, to change myself, to ensure that what I write, say I act so - and by that I empower myself, I trust myself, I will myself and I become the Living Word, meaning each word I live is supporting LIFE, not only of my life but ALL.

To stop the busy mind within, to let go the self-interest of pursuit for happiness one can realize that it was completely limiting for expressing a life not being limited by fear and when one is able to stop the mind - can start to see points, things within oneself what has never before - also in the system and starts to move really effective in the system.

I see on myself - as I've stopped eastern meditation and the acid therapies and started to write and say and live Self-forgiveness - I've expanded so much - I can live Clarity, Stability, Direction way more than ever imagined I could - I can stop obsessions, possessions, addictions, surreal desires and explore what is beyond my mind, actually others.

So I suggest everyone to make an inventory and question everything, every single bit of oneself and memories can not be trusted, even experiences because the human is the perfect organic robot and can feel, experience anything according to one's mind.
Self-commitments:
I commit myself to let go the addiction to always, constantly compare and judge and define things according to all my memories, knowledge, information I've ever gained and embrace all what is here and live directly here in and as the physical.

I commit myself to share with other humans the real power of the human is the Living Physical Flesh and as it is not understood, it's creation is not understood, it's function is not understood - the human is not understood, life is not understood.

I commit myself to walk a living example of how stopping the mind consciousness is possible and how I stop it and sharing it to assist and support myself and others with the opportunity to Birthing ourselves as Life from and as the Physical which has never occurred before because of the Consciousness Mind is the humans' starting point which without living is very possible.

I commit myself to constantly share that all what humans search and strive for within any spiritual and religious betterment of themselves is a great CON, meanwhile the real Life is being hijacked and degraded onto an energy source as consciousness can not exist without the physical and therefore the physical is in all way superior to any consciousness, any mind and the simple prove for that is what we call death as after death the mind dies, consciousness stops as the human flesh - each human's flesh, all's equally - falls apart to water and dust.

I commit myself to share my realizations how I was able to Hear the Desteni Message and start educating and re-mediating myself with the Study Material from the Desteni Portal, which is a living Example of how the Human physical body is LIFE without the Mind Consciousness System, fully operating, being effective and each and every day living, accumulating to what's best for all.

I commit myself to share all my realizations what I have explored through my life, through my experiments with drugs, spiritual agendas and how I came to the conclusion within Absolute Self-honesty that those do not support, do not assist me for transcending the Mind Consciousness System.

I commit myself to realize that anything positive or negative in my mind is self-stimulation for fulfilling something of self-definition therefore stopping and seeing behind the curtains is common sense to do.

I commit myself to Live the Self-forgiveness, Self-correction to let go the energetic addiction to thoughts, feelings, emotions and face all my fears while I stand on my two feet and become aware all the patterns I act which is not best for me, not best for all and find practical ways to STOP.

I commit myself to let go and prepare, script, support myself to break the habit of going virtual when facing difficult points and stabilize myself, as LIFE-AWARENESS in and as my human physical body within each breath to ensure not being CONned anymore by consciousness systems.

I commit myself to stop separating myself within my virtual mind by judgments, comparisons, positive and negative yet remain effective within the currently manifested human system by 'being in the system but not of the system'.

I commit myself to find practical ways to prevent myself accepting thoughts, slow down within myself to prevent suppression and express myself constantly, always, equally here in reality what I share with all other within each breath I take.

I commit myself to write all patterns I act and face within and as myself to understand and investigate and cross-reference to ensure that I keep only which is really good.

I commit myself to walk through Desteni I Process courses as the greatest assistance for facing and directing myself to let go of my self-limitations.

I commit myself to accumulate physical action which ensures the consciousness systems to let go and take responsibility for all physical life here. - See more at: http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... iK4P9.dpuf



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jozsef
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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 16 Feb 2014, 11:18

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-1.html
[JTL 148] Need for fight and win part 1
Continuing on exploring the point of why I have defined virtualization as more important than living in physical reality for instance creating bubbles within I was able to control the outcome, which was my own mind, computer games, family members, school, workplace, friends etc while never considering humanity as a whole and all what is here equally.

Some of these bubbles had burst and I realized I was hiding behind personality definitions of the mind fuelled by thoughts, stimulated by automated reactions towards my reality as I am physically participating - many of these definitions are still here within and as me as I've never explored, stopped(aspects of myself as manifested self-dishonesty).
So it is common sense to explore and stop and see beyond the veil, to explore what is beyond living from my mind but directly, physically here.

As I've mentioned previously and will more and more: The physical is the superior(read God of Man, the Physical), not the mind consciousness, the real power is within and as the human physical body but we, humans are not HERE, always in the past, present, future, which are constructed by our thoughts, memories, pictures, reactions, fears, desires etc.

Even the 'now' is not HERE as ourselves, but the accumulated consequences of or acceptances and allowances of what we all have accepted ourselves to became as the current human system wherein most of the people are enslaved by financial status, by lack of life support, lack of proper education and giving them no chance to explore and enjoy life but fight and survive within pain most of the time.

The greatest power in existence is equality - without that - we are powerless and lost within manifested energetic systems directing us, just reacting to the physical(environment, nature, weather etc), which then direct our reactions while we are lost within delusions of we are intelligent and the most superior things which is the greatest delusion but it is not enough to recognize, we must walk through our self-limitations one by one and find practical ways to manifest a human system which is best for all. Obviously we are the dumbest of all, even a snail or a sheep is much-much more aware than any human in terms of seeing the big picture beyond consciousness.
Check out EQAFE FREE Animal Interviews - this is not even funny, just listen through these series and consider what is being said in the message and learn and apply within Common sense and Self-honesty.
Until we do not realize how we created ourselves - we are who we are simply by all what we accept and allow - and that is certainly not unconditional love.


The amount of suffering and abuse happening on Earth in this very moment you read here would certainly make your own mind break for ever because it is not ready for embracing what is really here, so let us stick to the Process of Self-realization which can be walked breath by breath, moment by moment until we are able to deal with facts without being influenced by our own delusions of positive and negative polarities of our mind. So.

It is not enough to recognize the greatest potential(whatever we call it, god, life essence, buddha, krishna, whatever) within each other but we must become responsible and capable of understanding, changing our own creation practically, PHYSICALLY within the consideration of all equally. And that always starts with and as self here. Even if we experience ourselves as limited, shy, abused - step by step with the proper starting point and practical application we can change ourselves.

So back to my process for today...

I explore here today why I have the tendency to want to win, which is in short: fear. But am I free already of knowing that? No. I have programmed my physical beingness to automatically ensure the least fear, the least judgment of negative to experience, whatever is that for me without being aware of it, of the accepted consequences. As it is said, the devil is in the details and yes, each and every single detail I participate in my daily living is equally important - there are no divine moments(only in the mind), 'just' the accumulation the simple mathematical equation of 1+1=2. Breath by breath I live my life and that never comes back once is done so instead of regret and pity I rather explore practical ways to change - myself, here.

I use an aspect of myself what I participated within extensively: investigating my starting point, my attitude, my participation and let go which is Self-dishonesty.
So within the computer games I've played it is always about winning, finishing, fighting, dominating - it is common sense to ask why in the first place I defined myself as I need to win?

I pronounce that within my daily living it is not prominent, I might be seem as a nice guy, but as Joao Jesus sings: "Only I can change myself, Only I can breathe for myself."
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself being dominated by the family within I've grown up because I could not do what I wanted, grownups did not trust me when I wanted to go against their orders what seemed limiting, frustrating, stupid therefore defining my situation so, in fact I was unable to live how I wanted, so I felt myself as defeated, enslaved what I wanted to overcome, win, dominate as equal as one as I've defined myself being lost, dominated and never realizing that this will not be the solution because I was so busy within reacting with negative emotions and positive feelings generated by continuous thinking which I've felt empowering as I've defined my thinking was not limited, nobody could control, dominate my thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself being dominated and ruled by the human world system, society, the monetary system because feeling that I can not do whatever I want or decide but always facing extreme limitations which I've gave permission to be frustrated by automatically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lost, losing within the participation of human world system, the political, monetary system within because feeling no power over the reality because for that I thought I would need to have power over other people, over lots of money and even over of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and define myself defeated by this world because not being able to direct myself whatever I decide always facing distraction, resistance and excuses and justifications from myself automatically which to I've gave in to tell me what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself lost within my mind because not being able to stop and prevent thoughts which are the seeds of doubt and fear what grow to self-compromise and extreme self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define not winning as negative, defining myself as losing, therefore defining myself as negative and compounding that energetic experience making me react with anger and frustration which I've defined as negative, avoidable, not who I am therefore trying to balance out with whatever I've defined as positive energetic experience and not realizing that all is not physical-related.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always patch and stimulate my already experienced personality of myself to overcome and balance out attitudes, points, experiences within me to the point of experiencing neutrality and never realizing that within the polarities I am lost and limited by my own self-accepted definitions of who I am and how I must be.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that never questioning who I experience myself to be as certain experiences I have never explored to stop my personality, my characters directly but always trying to overcome, control, stimulate and equalize, neutralize points within me what bothered me such as impatience, frustration, desires.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to give into the world system within I've defined myself as inferior and defined the system as superior, more powerful than who I am therefore whatever I've participated within this world - I've always experienced that I am less than it - and within that not realizing that within facing experiences, I've defined myself inferior to experiences, defining myself who I am according to the personality definitions from my mind and never considering the reality of equality and oneness in relation to my human physical body and the whole physical existence here.

I forgive myself that I have not considered stopping, directly stopping myself within each moment participating within my personality, what I've defined I need to know what I have to do in order to survive, fight, rebel, escape from the human world system what I've judged as 'no justice' and 'hard life' and not realizing the bitter, sarcastic, stoic starting point towards everything I've participated within as a manifested result of self-defeat within the experience of energies of anger and frustration transformed into a depression hidden by simple smiles what most of the people did not realize, at times even myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent to the positive feelings and never realizing the truth of my negative emotions what I've balanced out with automatic judgements, reactions, behaviours, which I've defined then as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the self-automatism I've manifested and within the fear of losing it I've defined that I must protect it in order to survive in the system, in order to overcome my negative emotions, in order to remain stable to be able to participate within the human world system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from remaining within the experience of feeling dominated by forces what I do not direct therefore fearing from being what I experience because in fact not being able to stop reacting the same way to circumstances, events, people as reactions which is not the best for me as I experience friction, conflict which with I manifest emotions within me which I suppress or exert instead of prevent and remain here, expressive, considering all participants within my immediate and overall reality.

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I forgive myself that I have not being able to win, dominate within physical world, existence, so I've defined virtual winning in and as my mind, within computer games as the territory of my battlefield wherein I am able to feel, experience and explore winning, victory, dominate.
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on wanting to win and dominate on physical world, within human system, within human society because defining it as difficult, impossible for me therefore defining the experience of winning as more important than the actual winning, what I strive for to intensify and defining experience itself as more important than physical facts, more important than myself as defining experience as who I am and not realizing that by and as this starting point disregarding who I am really as the flesh of life here equal and one with all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing my want and desire to win, battle dominate forces within physical reality because of fear of consequences, fear of being exposed as evil, selfish, demon because then I've always accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself who I am according to what I experience and never realizing that experiences are not lasting, physical facts do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to internalize all my battles within myself not wanting anybody else to see how much I've defined myself as energetic wars within myself as negative and positive and overcharging, compounding energies I've defined myself to be in order to try to fight through the dimensions of myself within the thinking of I must fight through all my life within myself to emerge as winner as one person(ality) who I would become to start dealing with the physical world, which is already unified enough to continue my fight within the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as soldier, warrior, samurai, general in order to build up a personality to be able to fuel my reactions towards who I am is powerful enough to go to inner wars within myself wherein reactions to thoughts becoming positive feelings and negative emotions and wanting to just kill them all with an other, stronger energy and within that perception wanting to energize and supercharge myself with energies and never realizing that it is not supporting my human physical body, it is seeping of the life force from my cells and making my body age, decay and so within perceiving that intensifying the energetic reactions, thought obsessions to try to win the battles of myself as soon as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as energetic being, and defining energies as myself, energy as who I am, and within that always becoming dependent on energy, without energy not being able to move, express myself and never realizing that this energy what I've defined is not physical, it is of and as the mind which is seeping off the physical life force from my human physical body which is always here, always breathing, always life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself energies, moods, thoughts, feelings, emotions to tell me what to do, who I am instead of being absolute direct expression here, always within consistency.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that consistency I was never able to experience, express because of the energetic movements coming and going, so the perception of experiencing myself always changing, always shifting, always going up and down and focusing to that and being occupied with that, reacting to that with another layer of thoughts, feelings, emotions I disregard what is here, I disregard physical reality here which to I have no power, no direction to because I am internalized, virtualised, layered myself into and as the mind which then triggers, stimulated my human physical body to move, behave, act according to the energetic reactions within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to win the energetic war within myself with dealing with negative and positive and using these polarities to neutralize, balance out, shift the already self-accepted, manifested energetic experiences within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have never considered stopping already experienced energetic movements within me which are positive or negative or balanced out not moving, but always giving myself the permission to accept these energetic experiences, reactions, thoughts, desires as who I am and wanting to change my perception, myself with another layer of energetic stimulations and never considering to face directly the layer what is beyond my conscious mind, beyond my awareness and becoming aware the patterns which through in fact I create each and every single moment of my life without being aware of it.

I forgive myself that I have never realized the common sense to stop the war, the battles within myself and considering what would mean to live within harmony, within unity with and as myself here in and as the physical, each moment equally.

I forgive myself that I have never realized that the obsession with winning within computer games is because it is also an internalized experience within my mind, so in fact always winning in the game I've reacted with the same reaction patterns as within my mind, therefore giving my mind an external platform, layer to experience and justify fight, domination which is a self-reflection what I did not realize.

It is crucial to recognize the points within what I've concluded my personality to accumulate to such a degree of not being able to stop myself reacting to experiences, not being able to realize that experience is just accumulation of past self-acceptance what I can stop by stopping myself, stopping my reactions towards points being accepted within me.
---
Also noting that it is not about the games as within the shooter game I shoot enemies down in order to finish the story - as it is not about the game, it can be alright - but with what starting point I engage, for what result, reaction I participate can be aligned with the self-equalization, unification as seeing points when I go into judgment, separation, fear, anger, frustration and stopping that and when gaming and playing: no reaction, just direct expression.

As with and as myself - always accepting conflict, friction, reasoning, cons, pros - positive and negative - while reality is quickly moves and I am internally processing, battling, reacting and moment by moment missing potential, missing here.

Within physical reality - direct expression, considering consequences of my actions, which seems to be overwhelming with thoughts, feelings, because it is so limited - but when I AM HERE - directly, as presence with no inner reaction, no backchat, no feeling, no emotion, no memory, no comparison - I can embrace all what is here and becoming much-much more fast and effective than within the mind to even be able to consider all what is here equally to ensure that all my actions are aligned with all life. Well this might seem impossible but that is because our starting point is the mind consciousness program, which is again: very limited, programmable, always about polarities and energy, feeling, mood, thoughts while reality is just what it is here.

Self correction

When and as I feel I need to fight, battle, I slow down within and I realize I am not here, I internalized the situation I'm in according to the starting point of fear, of judgments, of polarities.

When and as I have the energetic reaction to need to fight - I realize it is not about me winning or losing but seeing all participants here and considering what is best for all.

When and as I become obsessed with winning, with controlling, dominating, fighting, victory I realize I lost perspective and not seeing about what I overreacted anymore, only considering the need to win, no matter the cost, whatever it takes.

When and as I feel myself being dominated, defeated, lost I realize it is the perception, the judgment what makes me generate these negative reactions, emotions, thoughts with what I allowed myself to have the tendency to accumulate reactions to energize a personality within me to want to fight, dominate, win, so I slow down within, I become aware of the points within me, the fear from what I feel to lose, the definition of why I need to ensure not lose it and why fearing, in fact not trusting myself to be able to stand and remain here, directive without energy, without fight and I breathe and let it all go and explore my physical location here and re-align myself to remain here within self-trust.

When and as I engage into fight within losing perspective, but only 'listening to' this energetic urge to go against things, points, people, that I fear, I fear of not being able to live as I want - I realize that I must stop the energy as it is not me, only the accumulation of reacting with fear taking over, so I stop, I breathe, I feel the breath going into my nose, going down into my lungs, feeling my heart beat, feeling my physical presence and I stabilize myself here and consider facts.

I commit myself to stop fighting as it is the result of staring point of fear, which is of separation, which is of already given up on myself and judging myself and allowing myself to perceive myself as not being able to deal, direct my life but feeling threatened of being dominated and within that already feeling lost, defeated and needing to fight, so it is common sense and therefore I again: commit myself to stop fighting, I let all go and I embrace all what is here and live self-direction breath by breath.

I commit myself to stop fighting experiences within and as myself and considering stopping all layers of reactions, all feelings, all emotional energies and be able to consider what is here and deal with common sense.

I commit myself to share how to live without fight, how to let go the fear which is the starting point of fight, the self-judgment of being defeated, which is the accumulation of listening to thoughts which are only the inner reflection of our manifested acceptances what can be investigated, written out, walked through, forgiven and practically letting go one by one, moment by moment.

to be continued with further exploring fights and battles, even going into some 'real life' examples when I lost my presence to re-align and prevent myself going into the judgments resulting the experience of fear which triggers the need for fight...

I suggest to check out this blog: "understand why we exist in such an extreme polarity of love and fear in our minds in relation to someone; and what are the consequences and solutions for such relationships and experiences we create within the Mind."

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.co ... y-483.html



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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 20 Feb 2014, 01:56

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-2.html

[JTL 149] Need for fight and win part 2 - fear of power
I continue with the fight and winning point which I started to open in the last post.

As I mentioned in an other previous post when I played MUD wherein I was hunting other players for become the best of bests and how I enjoyed being powerful, feared and envied only in the game.

Within reality I always despised such acts because I've defined it as weakness because real power should be sharing and caring and all fight and aggression is because of original fear - but at the same time I was convinced that everybody becomes powerful by these and I had this friction within me being hungry for power yet denying to use ways which is abusing others.

This I overreacted, in fact based on a fear of becoming evil and also defining everything what comes with power in this world as avoidable, such as wealth, influence, exposure, fame - in a way because I've defined myself as gullible, fallible, naive as well - so I avoided everything what would lead me to have even stability, power. I looked beyond these points, basically 'virtualization'.

Virtualizing experiences what only happen in my mind - within gaming, with sex films, daydreaming, fantasizing, reading - and later on when started to explore in reality, not realizing the same starting point being lost in spiritualism, psychedelic experiments, buddhism etc - and still disregarding physical here. This time I do not go into details with buddhism as those who define themselves can refer me back that they are living it in reality - that is their point to realize - for me it was mostly a mind-game, chasing butterflies in my imagination and I could start my process of self-realization when I was able to let go these completely. So back to fear and power.

A typical example of I had fear of learning martial arts because what if I lose my temper and kill people, so within that fear I did not learn such things and only realizing that when I actually learned martial arts I learned to control, direct, pacify, calm myself and eventually face and stop fear for instance from falling onto concrete or being hit I can embrace and avoid being harmed from.

So this was a glimpse of the past let me walk the practical self-realization further with Self-forgiveness as understanding the self-dishonesty in my past to prepare the self-correction in the present and commit myself for living in integrity with myself and all others in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to experience power, being feared and envied because of the starting point of fear, fear from not having power, envy others within power and wanting to equalize myself, neutralize myself as the mind with the energetic reaction within self-judgement in polarity in the belief that if I reach the equilibrium in my mind then I can live in peace and stopping the conflict within me.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that I defined myself and my stability, my state of beingness according to experiences of polarity judgement values of who I am and not realizing that these judgement-reaction-energy-experiences I gave my mind permission to come and go automatically according to external circumstances and within that giving my direction, power away and believing that power is when I can equalize, balance out the negative and positive within me and never considering the common sense of preventing the negative and the positive reactions to give permission my mind to accept and allow.

I forgive myself that I have never considered the real power I was looking for was always about and towards myself, being able to have power within me without being separated, without living between polarities, conflict, friction and live undefined, untamed, unlimited from within and trusting myself to live thoughtless, direct, physical expression breath by breath always within and as the location of my human physical body here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define power on/about people according to the judgements I had about what I lack therefore it must be that as power such as money, fame, influence, exposure which I could not have because of initial self-judgements of I lack these and also the abilities to get I never practically explored within the belief that these are 'negative' as using and abusing others within self-interest, which I judged in others, yet I wanted the same experience which I feared to get in physical reality so I experienced these within my mind wherein I seemed to not harm anyone with it and not realizing I was harming and suppressing myself and becoming delusional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as selfish, dark, evil within and as me so deliberately avoiding and refusing anything in this world what would give me power, direction, stability, influence and wanting to find positive, experience light, wanting to be good and never realizing the mind-prison I've manifested myself to live within based on fear which I've not seen as having excuses and justifications of why I am better if I am powerless and inconsistent and defining who I am according to that as personality of Talamon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with the light, positive, good because of wanting to fight, battle, equalize, win, dominate the original self-definition, self-judgement, experience of energy within and as myself in and as my mind and body of negative, bad, darkness and never realizing that life here just is, no polarity, no definition, no limitation so unless I participate within any polarity - I am lost within consciousness systems.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that the real power I was looking for is being here, being aware of myself, my reality as equal as one and remain undefined, yet expressing and trusting within myself as life, to be able to become consistent, responsible, stable and effective.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that within fearing from myself and expressing myself I was suppressing myself and becoming addicted to energetic reactions within me which is not physically here, only for me, believing it has no consequence for others and never seeing/realizing/understanding that by being influenced, directed by delusions/fear I have manifested consequences anyway in reality which is being shared with others equally.

I forgive myself that I have not realized the direct solution here within common sense to investigate/explore/understand my self-definitions, slow down within and forgiving the self-accepted definitions to give myself a blank, empty moment within I can breath through the need for reaction, for automatic association and remain here undefined and trusting myself within learning to express and live myself with words what are the same written, said and lived equally.

I forgive myself that I have never considered that with becoming, being resourceful within this world I can be supportive for myself and others equally and it is not a law to become corrupted by fear or greed automatically so realizing that within the starting point of Life and Equality and Oneness within Self-honesty I can use the power, stability, wealth, influence, fame to support myself and others to live by the principle of "Give as you would like to receive" and "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" and support practical solution to manifest living opportunities which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from having power because I've defined myself as very good for becoming smart, able to direct and win, rule, dominate and becoming obsessed with perfection therefore building up a personality which I never practically lived, only used to compare my real living with it and creating friction and coming up excuses and justifications of why I am in fact facing being powerless in real life and pushing myself to go more and more deep and layer into consciousness systems and energetic reactions while not seeing that I am lost within delusions of virtual battles in myself based on fear which is not real, unnecessary, ridiculously limiting and frustrating.

So today I also bring up a point of Self-support, I've just recently listened this interview, which is very supporting:
[eqafe link to Future of Consciousness part 11]
to be continued...



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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 20 Feb 2014, 22:00

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-3.html
DAY 150
Continuing the last post with Self-corrective statements to re-align myself with physical, living being to prevent mind consciousness to influence, stimulate, move me to explore what is here as reality within self-responsibility as the power of and as myself to remain consistent as the principle for what is best for all.

This writing is a step in the 7 Years of Journey to Life wherein we take responsibility for ourselves, our mind, our life and write the patterns to decompose, investigate and ask what is best for ourselves and for all and apply Forgiveness for and as self to change instead of blame, justify or hide. Sharing our inner mind we all can realize that each human is facing similar process to realize, stop, re-align and express within the interest of LIFE. I walk my process from thinking, doubt, fear into living, expression, action and let go all definitions, reactions which limit me to stand up for myself, for all life equally.

Hear some common sense from Bernard Poolman on Thinking and Secret Mind:

Mind and Consciousness can not be trusted as it is already infused with the starting point of self-interest, survival, fear, judgment, polarity, separation which blocks us to see what is really here to understand and be able to change as ourselves as equal as one to live a dignified life. So today I write about facing power, the definitions of power, reactions to power and how to correct I prepare myself to LIVE this correction in and as the moment. Writing is the tool which is being used for humans for scripting, screenplays, business plans, sales procedures, political speeches etc - so it is common sense to apply writing for Self-investigation, Self-correction, Self-commitment as well. Writing is PHYSICAL ACTION which is already SELF-MOVEMENT - not as thinking in the mind which is NOT SELF-MOVEMENT but self-acceptance, self-suppression. So this is why it is supporting.

For those who would like to live the real alchemy of words, to change worlds of and as self - there is this free online course for Self-realization:

DESTENI I PROCESS LITE

Also Desteni forum is for asking while studying the enormous amount of Desteni Material. I've got so much support that without it probably I would be lost or already dead by all the delusions I've participated within. So Check it out, I write Self-corrective statements here:

When and as I try to virtualize, model situations what happened before by thinking and reacting to thoughts and allowing these thoughts to just come and being stimulated to - I realize I am not present, I am not here, I am accepting already manifested nature of self-acceptance of neglect my responsibility for all what is here as who I am as life therefore I stop, I stop allowing thoughts, I focus to physical, I breathe, I let it go and re-align myself with what is physical, common sense within inner silence, remaining undefined.

When and as I define power as negative, avoidable, judging power with the polarity of thoughts, I realize I use the self-reflection tool which is the mind to define who I am so I stop, I breathe, I let all judgements go and I trust myself within common sensical doable application.

When and as I fear from power, from fame, exposure or wealth because remembering that I had this fear when I was kid and I was reactive and automatic I realize I am here today with the starting point of all life - I embrace everything what is here and I re-align myself with and as my human physical body and within my reality I apply common sense, I use simple mathematics such as 1+1=2 to accumulate which is good for all participants considered equally.

When and as I fear from something to do or face and try to imagine in order to prepare myself for facing it - I stop myself and I check "Do I have fear within my starting point?" And if so then I apply Self-forgiveness, I apply self-correction immediately and I script myself to prevent going into fear and I consider what would be the best outcome without thinking which if I feel not capable of then I use the tool of writing, I write everything out and I empty my mind and I understand what is here breath by breath and then I apply common sense within the consideration of all participants.

When and as I face possibility of expanding financially I let go all definitions and fear and worry of what if I would use this to serve only my self-interest and disregard all with excuses and justification as I see that financial status within my life is what determines my ability to move effectively within the system so it does not change my starting point automatically, only if I allow so or if I allow myself to be influenced so, and for that I trust myself for applying Self-honesty, Self-forgiveness, Self-correction, Self-commitment to live according to principle as 'What is best for all'.

When and as I judge people that they are wealthy and selfish and I feel envy I stop and re-align myself with common sense, physical, here and I realize it is not about how I judge others but what I can do and how I can live and who I really am and directing myself to accumulate within each breath and every single action.

When and as I define myself according to experiences and use experiences to tell me who I am I stop, I re-align myself into and as my human physical body, I breathe, I direct myself to stop, stop entirely until I am empty, clear, dark within and nothing moves me but I take responsibility to remain here, remain directive, remain myself in experiences undefined, stable, consistent.

When and as I experience energy, energetic experiences compounding within me which I judge as these will and in fact already changing me who I am from consistent, same self here within starting point of and as life, breathing, physical, principled being - I realize I participate in the judgements, mind, following thoughts, allowing reactions to define me, so I stop, I stop myself, even if required I stop my human physical body to move and I give myself the moment of breathing, letting everything go which is not physical self here and re-align myself to accumulate consistency here.

When and as I worry about what to do towards those who has power, wealth, exposure, fame and stability within the system who I perceive as 'opposition' - I realize it is because I judge them, I judge myself, compare, polarize, define and react with fear which I stop, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear from not powerful, wealthy, famous enough instead acting, accumulating within common sense which is best for me and for all life.

When and as I face worry, anxiety, fear which I can not stop with breathing, letting go, immediate re-alignment I commit myself to note, schedule time, write out and apply the tools of self-investigation, self-forgiveness to explore what I am unable to stop and specifically why, how I've created a pattern what I've given permission to within myself to influence, direct me instead of myself being the directive principle here as self, unified, clear, empty yet expressing breath by breath.

When and as I face judgements within myself as dark, evil, selfish I realize it is of fear, of polarity, of self-definition according to memories, experiences which are not here, I am here as physical body, flesh as life which is just here so I let go all polarity judgements and consider what would be the best outcome for all participants here and apply common sense within practical application.

When and as I do not realize that within judgement of evil, dark, selfish I create friction with good, light, selfless, it is not real, it is only mind-game, virtualization, which I let go and focus to practical application, common sense and consider facts here.

When and as i judge people within thinking who are obsessed with positive, light, nice, love as being lost - I realize that judging them is the reflection of I am separating myself from them, which is the same - polarity as me and them instead of realizing that I am all what is here in all moments to I let go definitions, I consider which is the most practical to support all life equally and I act according to that within breathing without judgements.

When and as I feel myself being influenced by positivity and negativity of people and would start to accumulate judgements and energetic reactions within myself towards them - I realize it is only me, just me who is responsible, as I react, I give permission for perceive separation and therefore I stop myself, stop myself judging.

When and as I face things what is not the best for all life - I do not tolerate, I embrace and live acceptance and I investigate, I study, I learn and I find out what would be the most practical solution to apply without accepting abuse, without compromising my starting point as all life here.

When and as I define power as money, exposure, fame, wealth, I stop, I realize it is self-definition which I limit myself with within the polarity of the mind, and I realize that the only power I can have is living self-honesty, living for what is best for all breath by breath and accumulate which outcomes towards a world within what all life is being considered equally.

When and as I feel the need for win, for victory, for domination I realize it is because I've judged myself as being lost, battled, dominated, so I let go the definitions and I use common sense what would be the best practical solution to manifest a world within all can win even if it seems idealistic - I consider to the core of the problem, I investigate the most influential existing systems existing within humanity what directs the outcome and I find practical solutions to accumulate which is best for all participants.

When and as I experience the energetic rush, adrenaline, feeling of winning, dominating and ruling - I stop, I let go the energy and I breathe, feel the body and I remain here, physical and consider what would be the best for all participants.

When and as I experience people who are obsessed with provocation, stimulation, winning - I remain here, directive, clear, present and I apply common sense and seeing it as non personal, even when I am being targeted - I remain practical, stable, calm and even if it is required to leave - I remain myself, consistent, stable and breath by breath I am here and consider what is the best outcome for all participants here.

When and as I do see within empty mind, clear, dark inner self that I do require to use tension and raise my voice - I remain here, directive, I do not define myself, I do not define other participants here - I trust myself and I prevent myself to go into self-definition according to experience and I express myself and use tension, voice until it is common sensically the best for all participants here.

When and as I do see within clear, present, empty mind that I do require physical power to protect myself or others - I remain calm, present, directive and I apply common sense in action and remain the same, principled, physical.

When and as I face anger and hatred I realize if I react to it - it is of fear - so I ensure I remain here, physical, present, directive and I act immediately and stand up for not suppressing anything abuse and if required I do leave without judging myself as defeated but considering what is the best for all life to live breath by breath here.

that's it about facing power for today

I've listened this very supportive EQAFE interview today, these are the real education for those who stand up as life as responsible for get direct support how to live within understanding in our crazy world today.



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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 25 Feb 2014, 00:06

Day 151
http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/02/jtl ... art-4.html

Continuing with Self-commitments to direct myself towards a future which is aligned with my Self-forgiveness on what to change in regards to past acceptances and practical Self-correction of present re-alignment in regards to the words of fight, win, power and fear(about I write since some posts) to ensure that I am in all ways aligned with the Principle of a Living Word which is an accumulation for What is Best for All.

Those who question or doubt that it is even possible to grasp or act according to What is Best for All must understand that all the limitation we face is the self-accepted mind-prison only which can be practically walked through with the Journey to Life and Desteni I Process and which many are currently walking in an open, physical, every day participation while being busy with their daily living while exploring what would mean to LIVE Radical Freedom.

Writing is a KEY for Freedom, writing is a tool for Self-exploration, writing is a form of alchemy wherein with motivation and will one can transform SHIT to GOLD literally.
This "alchemy making gold" stuff has been misunderstood quite profoundly so re-education, re-alignment, re-establishment of the physical manifestation of simple common sense is required.

Our inner friction, doubt, frustration, exhaustion and insanity of repeating the same patterns while not even being aware of why and what and in fact who we do what we do is what we has in our mind and it is that has been manifested (as) an external world which is not so friendly with those who have no money, which seems irrelevant until one does not try to step out one's self-accepted patterns of personality, habit of life - but once one is trying to change oneself within|reality with out - will face that it is extremely difficult - but it is possible to change who we are today simply with decision, direction requires effort, dedication, commitment, specific understanding what for writing is the greatest tool. But who want (to) change?

Obviously those individuals who are in the experience of 'feel good' do not really want to change themselves as they are currently quite alright as they are defining themselves according to experiences and not facts - but the majority only gets moments, glimpses of any reference of a "great life", "happiness" while facing more facts: the reality, which is not so nice with billions of suffering - so for those the point of changing make more sense.

Within the process of change one can see/realize/understand the shit within which is in fact causing oneself to suffer, to be limited, driven by external influences - and yes - literally being influenced to act automatically with not awareness but friction, conflict, fight, surviving which is quite shitty to become so then that shit we can start investigate and transform with the alchemy of writing wherein one uses words to describe experiences, uses words to explore the how and why within the investigation of what is here as self and reality as well.

Within writing one can explore what is the difference of inner and outer within self and experiences in regards to physical facts and by cross-referencing, consistently applying common sense and developing Self-honesty one can reveal the specificity of Self-dishonesty: which is the shit what alchemy aims to transform to gold.

Many has no opportunity for this process are they are very busy to remain alive, strive to survive in a very unfriendly human system, so anyone who can have opportunity to write should appreciate being lucky within this capitalistic, cannibalistic casino system wherein for one to win many lose and within the hope of winning all losers comply into the rules what the previously winners written.

To re-write our system wherein not only some has gold but all can share, we re-define the words:

As gold one can define will, trust, stability, clarity, understanding, direction in relationship to oneself and the reality to be able to word it, to explore what it means to align the words within one's mind, one's mouth and eventually one's actions.
Then that is referred as the Living Word - and then our words become directive power, become the very fabric of creation within actual self-realization of equality and oneness with all what is here as self.

Fellow humans, this is not mystery, this is Life, this is Here.
If one does not believe, just test it out...trust only self here!
So words are the fabric of reality, the bricks of creation.

See all systems use it: politicians, media, film, sales, building, education, law, religious, spiritual agenda: everything what is manifested, stable currently is because of written word! So it is common sense to apply for and as Self as well! So let us write ourselves! Who we were, who we are, who we will be, write, write, write within Self-honesty.

And then one's words become reality - within the specific self-investigation one's weaknesses has been written out within absolute details and it is on the paper, in the file to show how and why one has became what/who it/he/she is today and can understand the process of past accumulation what has lead to today's experiences, factual manifestations - the creation of self which is conditioned, enslaved to circumstances - so then these weaknesses can become points of opportunities to work on within practical, worded understanding which is not running one's mind but it is here, remains here in and as the written word.

So one has the busy mind and writes it all - writing it down until everything of a point, a topic, an event, an experience is written out and there is the moment of emptiness, when all is here and one is empty, silent within.

Within the writing process one is slowing down within and writing down all the thoughts, reactions, feelings and word by word, letter by letter writing it down and slowing down within: one is being able to understand more than when just thoughts and feelings run within the mind with the velocity of about twenty per second. That is not practical, that is madness.
So writing is serializing the matrices of mind consciousness. All the rules and judgements, definitions of positive, negative, reasons and justifications, conclusions and identifications - write it all!

Many has this perception that many things can not be worded with excuses and justifications like:
too good, too great, to deep,
too profound, too complex,
too difficult, too intense etc

to word experiences and facts but I say then it is already questionable, who is limited, "myself here with my self-accepted relationship in and as my mind consciousness system in relation to experiences with words" or the words themselves?

Words are just words - what can not be explained with words one has not yet grasped, so how can we trust within ourselves about that particular 'topic'? Shaky...yet, obviously not everything has to be worded but within self-realization, about self-limitations, self-definitions it is a must.

To see each word we speak, react to and live: is really what we want to become and if not, then we can change our relationship with the words, to re-align, re-define our vocabulary and live words as equal as one as ourselves, starting all by writing all words down, out, here.

And within writing, like saving our mind into a file - once it is done and that point is here, one is empty and then within that emptiness can receive, embrace what is here, what is real.

That is a fascinating moment because within that moment - one is be able to be here, be clear, be empty yet capable of understanding. It should be practically specific, not just sit down and write until you die - but about a point - for instance 'worry of failure' or 'fear of spiders', whatever is bugging oneself the most - apply self-direction within practical, liveable common sense while we participate within our daily living, going to work, be with kids etc and schedule time to write - that is practical self-direction, self-realization through and as words.

Just to share some glimpses of why so much sharing of so much written words...

...and within this continuing from the previous post of what I commit myself to walk into practical application with no separation but self-direction step by step, word by word.
Currently about energy, power, fear, wealth and fame just to mention some trigger points of inner frictions to re-align.

I commit myself to walk through all upcoming fear within me according to power, wealth, fame and exposure within human systems and I commit myself to remain here, stable, consistent and use common sense and consider facts here.

I commit myself to stop fighting and within stopping I realize it is the fear of being judged myself as inferior I want to force change what I perceive to be which is not real, not practical and not considering all what is here therefore I let go the fight and embrace what is here and use common sense, breathe and accumulate what I want to manifest.

I commit myself to let go the need to fight, win, dominate within the understanding that all fight is against myself within friction and within that I would always lose - so I rather stop fearing, breathing, writing, investigating, acting within common sense, practical actions to stop which is not aligned with life.

I commit myself to prevent myself to go into energetic experiences of want to resist, fight, dominate, fuel my mind states with energetic reaction in the delusion of I need to battle against myself, others, the world within realization that all what I face here is myself so rather I embrace, I stop, I re-align and remain clear, inner silent and act with common sense, considering facts within consistency.

I commit myself to stop fearing when seeing something or someone is fighting against me and I remain here, directive, present without going into fear but consider practical ways to prevent and stop harm.

I commit myself to let go the fear of becoming evil when acquiring more stable financial status within the consideration of what must be done for implementing Living Income Guaranteed requires media, exposure which require money and within that I commit myself to support financially Equal Life Foundation and for future leadership the Desteni I Process and EQAFE as much as I can while remaining stable and consistent within the system.

I commit myself to be self-honest with myself to not make decisions what has impact to my reality which I am not aware of what consequences I will cause - with full of my potential, meaning what common sensically I am able to comprehend without going into reaction of worry and fear that I am not aware of everything which would be not practical, so in those moments I commit myself to stop the doubt, the complication and I remain simple, empty, directive here.

I commit myself to stop judging people according to their fame, wealth and I commit myself to prevent myself judging people by comparison with knowledge and information of the personality of the mind with polarity of negative and positive.

I commit myself to stop and prevent myself defining myself according to experiences and I commit myself to stop taking refugee within experiences and realizing that I am as living flesh and what I express and participate within physical reality is fact here.

I commit myself to decompose and let go all energetic relationships within me to 'help' or 'define' to feel me, to experience me, my reality and realizing that this is the act of separation, accepting the comparison, the perception of self-interest which I commit myself to remember that it is not real, only all life here as equality is physically here.

I commit myself to stop judge positive and negative in my world according to my self-interest and realize that all definitions which I allow me to automatically judge, influence my perception, experience, behavior - is the mind, the mirror of my current beingness to show me what I have to re-align in the interest of all life as equality.

I commit myself to not accept and allow the forces against all life to progress within my reality, which are delusions of consciousness systems about life while disregarding, abusing the physical life here, to stand up within and as myself and express and act according to the principle of "Give as you would like to receive" and "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself".

I commit myself to embrace all power, wealth, fame to promote Equality as Life for all lifeforms within the interest of What is Best for All which I accumulate to manifest with the simple mathematical equation of 1+1=2 until all life is equally appreciated, loved, taken care on the physical level.

I commit myself to not stop until all life is free as manifested equality in and as the physical as this is who I am and this is what I stand for.

I commit myself to slow down within until I stop and remain inner silent and empty within myself to be able to express into and as physical reality directly as who I am as life and take responsibility for all what is here as equal as one as myself.

I commit myself to walk the Process of Self-realization within Self-forgiveness, Self-correction, Self-commitment to re-align all my fractions of my mind, of my self, of my beingness into a living
Flesh, Living Word beingness which is consistently able to exist without fear, desire, thought, feelings, moods of the mind and assist and support myself and others equally who are ready and willing to walk out from Mind Consciousness to PHYSICAL LIFE in and as EARTH as manifesting a world which is Best for all equally.

Join Desteni I Process LITE free online course with seasoned Word-alchemist supporting buddies who has already been proven to be able to change themselves and willing to support others with the same process freely in and as the starting point of Give as you would like to receive, which accumulates into practical Equality and Oneness as LIFE.

This VLOG I've made 5 years ago about Self-forgiveness as Debugging the Mind:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkatmBwcDpo
Check out Creation's Journey to Life blogs to grasp more on this process.
Also some links here point to Self-support from EQAFE audio interviews which are huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge assistance for Self-realization, check it out!



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jozsef
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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 04 Mar 2014, 00:32

http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... start.html
Day 152
As I really started to stop participate within judgement, energetic mind, fear and desires I started to face points I have never experienced - more precisely: I was never aware of..the life of beyond desires and fears...

I had 'ideas' about it that these kind of things I will have to face but the actual taste is obviously different than expected.

What I've realized that stopping judging positive or negative changes the already manifested energetic equilibrium within my mind, body and in fact the whole beingness.

I was able to notice to stop motivations within me - sounds strange, right? - which are based on desire or fear to an extent that I've noticed I am not moving that much automatically.

I was observing myself not moving, even to the extent that I woke up and I remained in bed - of course that's just alright after a week of hard work on a shiny Saturday morning - but not for me who I've defined myself to be - "I am always enthusiastic to jump out from the bed and do the things I usually do"- however for some weeks I was just stopping - stopping sexual desire(while sleeping with a beauty), stopping worry and fear from financial issues and car crash(learning to drive in the biggest traffic) so it seems like I went nuts by becoming not motivated from a normal human perspective, right?

These things(desires, fears) stimulate me, influence me, move me only because I allow it - I've realized this, so the question within Self-honesty was

"Is it good for me giving permission to my mind to allow external circumstances to define me who I am in any moment?"

Within Radical Freedom I say NO - but what is the current personality of humanity(which we could approximate if we would take all human into one body 'theoretically') would say:

desire is cool, because pulls you towards which is good(for you)
fear is supporting, because pushes you away which is bad(for you).

But within the starting point of Absolute Self-honesty I realized this is the very essence of the enslavement we all humans are accepting and allowing within ourselves, which is the manifestation of the REAL Matrix we live within - the Mind Consciousness System with it's all rules, definitions, judgements, the core of the problem which is in fact separation - preventing each and every human being to embrace and unify their very core of beingness of what is physically here, undefined, un-polarized but directly realize/see/experience everything as self here.

Obviously this is the goal of many agendas, forces, interests within this world referred as spiritual, enlightenment, religious, secret- or mass-formations while their intent seems good, valid and positive, they are all lost within consciousness systems having no reference, no taste, no power of what entails to be or even comprehend of what it means to reach our greatest potential transcending consciousness as LIFE and having no practical way in any way whatsoever how to deal with the currently manifested human systems which are obviously took over and directing our very essence of how and who we are today as humanity as on individual level and as a whole as well.

Myself I've investigated, followed, tried, became some of these methodologies in terms of copycatting, evolve and time loop within the certain pre-programmed steps of these -'ism'-s, which I do not go into explaining today - only saying I had the motivation, energy and time to give myself fully into these symbolic attempts, practices and today here being able to smoothly and certainly - consistently and clearly say that these will become blind alleys, dead ends if one is able to apply Self-honesty in terms of using practical common sense about the capabilities of one's realizations and power over oneself and the world to able to be applied; meaning being able to change one's beingness, the various system manifestations within this world which is currently directing the already manifested accepted habit of harm against life, the abuse, the disregard of respect all life equally.

Any master, guru, lama, rimpoche, priest, monk, coach, guide, seer, shaman or whatever they are being called, who can not face any systems within this world without being able to walk through it, understand it, wording and explaining it and find practical, physically doable ways to stop it and transform it to be aligned with the interest of all life is simply a lie, a cheat, a pretend, a con and within that it is part of the system of and those individuals are also lost within delusions and in fact are the agents of the enslavement without them seeing/knowing/realizing it.

Anyone can feel good, say wildly wise words who has food, water, shelter, fat income - but to deny those who has not such within the starting point of any interest is the real evil in this world because if one really dares to walk the Self-realization can inevitably see/understand/realize the only thing that really matters is Physical Equality. Anyone denies it is still walking out the maze of consciousness systems of EGO without seeing the exit.

Within current human system - except the continuously reducing number of places - money is the fuel of surviving, the blood of life and until that accepted system is neglecting anyone in the excuse of 'without hard work, belief or knowledge or royalty or money: one should not eat' - humans are nothing else but savages, beasts, demonic forces stripped away from real love, compassion, lacking the very essence of what it means to be aware.

These words might seem harsh, wild accusations from an extreme point of view but it is not me to judge but embrace what is here and if this is here - this is what we must acknowledge first in order to be able to understand, stop and change as ourselves as equal as one, step by step, accumulating with the simple mathematics of 1+1=2.

I've walked some areas of Earth wherein faced extreme poverty, suffering and neglect and I might seem pessimistic or even stoic but I exist as nothing of that kind.

I am optimistic and idealistic, because I start to understand that in fact we can stand up within ourselves and being each of us The Society as the Representative of All Life and step by step be aligned with the Unification of Man, the Desteni of the Universe, which is Equality and Oneness on Earth. Practical Appreciation of Equal Life within all humans is obviously the Eye of the Needle which is our real purpose and only those who are proven to be standing for All Life Equally should be referred as LIFE for accumulating towards a future which is indeed best for all.

I always consider myself, my life as being extremely lucky, even that many of what I entail of has nothing to do with luck, still countless of who I am today is of luck - I am grateful, I am sober, I am responsible.

Within Investigation of various human system manifestations it became clear to me that the economic, political, educational and media forces are directing humanity's future which I am interested with in order to transform ourselves to being capable of stopping accepting HELL ON EARTH for billions while systematically exterminating our own breathing environment, the animals, plants, oceans, nature, basically everything like a cancer, a virus within absolutely possessed with ideas of our delusion with the experience of consciousness evolution while we imagine, project our energetic, virtual, egoistic, self-interested mind towards various beautiful experiences of HEAVENS.

So the solution is right front of us, here, directly, and only those do not see what is here who want to enforce their own truth through the starting point of their EGO mind of thoughts, feelings, emotions and not realizing that each and every single being is busy facing self as truth while disregarding what is already here in and as physical reality.

And within seeing/realizing/understanding the delusion as our truth - stopping is common sense, taking responsibility for what is here is common sense and indeed making our hands dirty and deal with these economic, political, educational, media, military etc forces what who we are currently while being absolutely clear, consistent within the starting point of who we REALLY are as the Seed of EQUAL LIFE within each.

That is why the Equal Life Foundation - group of people who realized they are LIFE - is busy investigating, researching, exploring possible practical ways to manifest a world which is Best for all by each is giving what would like to receive - even within the current economic, political system.

That is Living Income Guaranteed, not just a basic income, but a liveable life-support for all newborn, all seed of life equally - with a fraction of the computational power currently we have with technology we could already operate a simple, transparent monetary system wherein each human's food, shelter, health care and education is taken care of.

No revolution, war, aggression is required at all - those are of fear, which is also part of the consciousness trap - we all should rather see the advantages of the system which is being promoted in the name of democracy, the power of One Man - One Vote which through each and every individual could and should stand up for manifesting an establishment which ensures the basic requirements for our physical living - without that currently many are facing reality as being neglected, disregarded to degrade living into surviving, fight, pain and suffering, which is unnecessary and none of us, who currently have goodies would want this for ourselves.

That is why the individuals who are walking Desteni I Process do promote LIG, because they equally realized the common sense of the same realization that LIFE must come first and if any system, even if the monetary system neglects that respect for life, then it is unacceptable, it must be understood, changed but not within the starting point of reaction/judgement/separation/fear/anger - rather than within unification, embrace and transform from inside out as equal as one as ourselves step by step, breath by breath.

That is why we can stand out and dare to say to each who promote love and light, compassion and positivity that the real compassion must be considered in this human system, this humanity and this Earth is all what we've got and critical, self-honest, cross-referencing self- and world-investigation is required to be able to stand up for all life.

Because within positivity, there is the other polarity within separation with negativity, which is of judgement, of consciousness, of mind of fear what always reflects back as lack of power, lack of stability, lack of absolute self-trust which is required to face the things what already manifested on Earth and are far away from being cool.

A process of re-alignment is required, a self-investigation of letting go all toxic and automatic inner reactions we accept and allow as inferiority, separation, self-interest and fear.

Simple - within fulfilling my desire I do not desire it - because I experience it - or my reaction to the fulfillment of my desire - so only those desire who do not experience, it is common sense. But to question experience, it's consequence is also part of the package what should be considered - as experience will not last and are being subjected to facts - and also within the common sense point of if I allow myself to be determined by and as experience - am I really real or only something what is of conditions, conscience, consciousness systems?

So after all this - I return to how I've started this whole point - why I do this stopping desire, stopping fear - as it seems to be the greatest fuel of the human - it is in fact limitation, it is enslavement, it is not who we really are as life as equality, because we use our MIND to connect, to define, to judge, to fulfill, to experience, to express through and therefore physically become as.

It is explained perfectly within this Equality and Oneness system design:

"Once you participate within the Unified Consciousness Field the only way you are going to be Oneness and Equality with the Mind within the Unified Consciousness Field of this world if you have a relationship with someone or something separate from you. Therefore:

Let's say if you have a relationship with something or someone of this world, you are trapped, enslaved, you are a goner, you are done, you are the slave to the mind, the Unified Consciousness Field, you are in the prison of your own creation...."

The original interview:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DFG5xutHEw

That is why I stop my mind and desires what automatically move me - I do not accept myself having a personality which I give permission to tell me who I am; especially within the realization that I am all life here equally - there is no need for personality which through I am always separated from all what is here.

Yet we are all infused with various layered fear-mechanism to never question, never go beyond our perceived 'self' - for instance sometimes I experience this physical shock-like state of fear - so intense, so brutally real - the desire for give into the energies, to avoid certain uncomfortability, fear, pain, just to remain limited, programmed, separated from all what is here, but within the overwhelming experience I do not see that and it's consequences and it is a problem - that is what we accumulated through aeons of time and the same accumulation is required within consistent application to investigate, understand, embrace, stop and change our very beingness of who we are within the realization of we are all LIFE within each act we do(or not do).

That is why I work on this mind I see, that is my real job and within this system, no one is telling me to do so - yet I do not stop it until it's necessary and I also can not tell anyone to walk through the mind, the consciousness, the limitation, the thoughts, feelings, emotions, the fear, the desire - it is the decision which only SELF can decide and walk out from the maze of consciousness mind energies and explore what is beyond that and we well see who is really life, who is able to take responsibility for all what is here.

Who can not walk through the one self's mind are still in the process of self-realization of what is real, what is not and if self is not willing to give up the delusion of self-interest, the self-virtualization of of clever thoughts, great feelings and perceived personality to all-life's interest - then the basic principle of existence will assist and support to show, face and directly experience what one is accepting and allowing within and as Equality and Oneness.

The physical reality is the greatest assistance within our life to see directly within consistency to experience of who we accepted and allowed ourselves to become on individual and also whole level of humanity and everything will fall which is not life, which is not eternal within equality and oneness as self. And certainly will not go away until we change within and with out as it is who we are, as we are here, the world is HERE as equal as one. Simple.

It might not be pleasant to lose all what was never real if one is still holding onto it - that is why it is suggested to let go everything unconditionally moment by moment, breath by breath within common sense yet remaining practical, aligning to what is best for all.

And within practical consideration of the current human system, we still have to eat, rest, remain healthy, support our children so that means most of us has to remain in the system, but learn to be not of the system - and earn money - so it is not about becoming monk and go into cave to meditate on all of this - and certainly not to revolt, fight as it is ourselves what we face in all ways - but the solution is that we all have to become activist, economist, and even politician within the consideration of "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself".

And also important to mention that even when letting go desire and stopping fear - we still can be here and compared to conditions enjoy ourselves, each other while standing up for all life.

So this is radical freedom as one can never imagine the 'freedom' what is waiting here beyond desire and fear until not transcended fully within our physical actions.

So in the next post I will continue with my personal experiences and realizations of stopping my desires and fears while and as I do walk the writing Journey to Life blogs, sharing VLOGS, listening to EQAFE, investigating existing human systems, walking online course of Desteni I Process.



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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 06 Mar 2014, 22:50

Day 153
http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... -self.html


Continuing on the previous post where I stated that fear and desire are both limitation and in fact of the mind as self-dishonesty.

So to clarify that, I start with fear - it should obvious as most people do not want to live in fear. Within self-infusion of the mind-obsession of energetic systems people though can be seriously dependent on fear and even becoming conscious about it and believing the thoughts what say that fear is good, necessary or even worthy.

FEAR:
noun: fear

an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.
"I cowered in fear as bullets whizzed past"
synonyms: terror, fright, fearfulness, horror, alarm, panic, agitation, trepidation, dread, consternation, dismay, distress, anxiety, worry, angst, unease,

verb: fear;

be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.
"I hated him but didn't fear him any more"
synonyms: be afraid of, be fearful of, be scared of, be apprehensive of, dread, live in fear of, go in terror of, be terrified of, be terrified by, cower before, tremble before, cringe from, shrink from, flinch from;


People do not realize the consequence of the fear experience to the human physical body as it is in fact harming it, making it off-balance, disregarding it's equilibrium in the interest of the mind-consciousness only and creating all kinds of sicknesses and harms to the body.

An other typical scenario when parents consciously implant the fear to the child's mind in order to avoid the child being injured or killed for instance by always telling the kid "a car will hit you and you will die if you do not look around" with scary voice and it is not a game, indeed children can die and this can bring up serious questions about the living environment where we 'raise' our children as is it really supporting them as expression of LIFE or just replicating consciousness programming to our biological clones combining with some previously accumulated consequences to a being but this day I let this open with only referring to the point that Equal Life Foundation is specifically aiming this situation as well for researching and suggesting possible future scenarios wherein no one needs to fear from killed and we all should acknowledge the innocent pure life expression as what system we maintain for our kids and not making compromises like 'this city is horrible for kids, but what to do I love them, I have grown up myself as well and I did not end up that bad as well, and the kid will be better than me' - which is only 'thin-king' what seems to be just an excuse. But anyway. Fear is not cool.

Having fear as motivation for successful living we might ask the people in Yemen or Pakistan where they each day hear the bombing drones circling around upon them and these machines could be silent but the so fucking smart military engineers have successfully designed these to make specific sounds what - when people - KIDS - hear they should frighten their ass off just of orientation about what is this world about: fear.

http://www.livingunderdrones.org/living-under-drones/
http://www.theatlantic.com/internationa ... an/262814/
http://appgondrones.wordpress.com/appg- ... arch-2013/
http://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/20 ... udy-finds/


It is extreme but until such atrocities are allowed within human 'civilization' - it is obvious what is the main character of the human species - domination and fear.

There is no excuse for this harm to life to accept in any reality - only for those who are already under the spell of fear or totally mesmerized by their own self-interest/ignorance.

Also fear of falling in exam - blocks creativity, the ability to recall memories of the subject properly.

Fear from my partner would cheat me - it is seriously self-compromise why I do not trust in my partner? Or If I can not trust in her/him - why I am with her? - is it really love or just a nicely mind-painted fuckup I represent? This indeed can result in paranoia, killing etc. - not cool.

Fear from the plane would crash - it is also not really helping - and again: the body is in the state of shock, one is not really able to see what is happening here - only the energetic state of fear tunes, triggers, shifts personality - and organs suffer, heart suffer, not cool again.

And also when we fear - we are resonating this and children around us physically can feel it - and they sponge it in and learn it and copy and they will be living also in fear even without realizing what is inherently they are accepting.

Even when we do worry or being anxious - it is fear - being angry, being aggressive - same: fear - fear of loss, fear of fear - coming from thoughts, memory, comparison, separation, not real.

So That is about fear - so to stand up to fear is common sense - I had so much fear in my life and unconsciously still I have to face some - which for writing within 'ranting and raving' - creative 'visualization' within self-honesty and unconditional Self-forgiveness, Self-correction, Self-commitment to let go is really assisting.

One day even science will prove that but until that we can only turn to our 'own' (or not 'owned') Self-honesty to realize.


When one can not use the mind, the definitions, the energies, the constant judgements, comparison, thinking - that also can be experienced as a freaking fearful state of beingness - just look at those people who are on high dose of acid or mushroom and they mind is glowing - some are not able to handle this - and they freak out - because they can not use the energetic mind to constantly juggle out the ORIGINAL fear within with positive and negative thoughts so then they face this fear, which is also in and as the physical body - that should be faced and investigated, understood and slowly but surely - breath by breath TRANSCEND.

Investigate what is Desteni is sharing about fear - very practical stuff, not like meditating on chakra energies to warm up the feelings in the mind - but really face everything we consist of - if you want to stop existing within fear.

Another 'thing' iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis: desire - the sire which to all sacrifice...

noun: desire
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
"he resisted public desires for choice in education"
synonyms: wish, want; verb: desire
strongly wish for or want (something).
"he never achieved the status he so desired"
synonyms: wish for, want, long for, yearn for, crave, set one's heart on, hanker after/for, pine for/after, thirst for, itch for, be desperate for, be bent on, have a need for, covet, aspire to;


If I look at what desire is - it is like a hunger, a strive, a hollowness, it is also of fear - not trusting myself that I can 'get' what I want - so I go virtual(energetic mind: thoughts, feelings) - instead of directly acting in the moment, no inner reaction at all.

I do not experience what I defined myself as 'needed' - therefore I define it as 'I want it, I miss it', I define myself as 'needy' - and participating within that inner reaction in each occasion - it accumulates - and within the tendency of accepting thoughts, feelings automatically - it generates energy, friction - and I am in the 'need' more and more and to the degree that I disregard other - relevant - things as well as I become obsessed about it - 'it is what I really need' - and possessed with my own self-definition of 'I need this, I do not have it, I want, I want, I want it now'.

It is really like a computer state-machine -

I define what I need,
I see myself, I define myself not having,
I experience myself not having in reality while experiencing in my mind needing and it is friction, energy which accumulates.
And within defining who I am according to experiences - I define myself as 'having a desire'.
I fear from being what I define as who I am according to this automatic judgement of this 'lack' experience,
I fear from remaining within this self-defined experience of 'lacking', as this is what I defined I need but instead of directly and immediately go for it or let it go (or postpone it without reaction)
I compare within polarity of mind and experience friction of positive and negative - what I experience as negative as lacking what I desire for - and the positive of how I would feel if I would fulfil this desire
I define myself as 'positive', 'tending towards positive' so I choose to act according to this energetic desire experience to balance out the negative with the positive - what with I manifest friction within to experience
I avoid to feel as negative, I want the positive what I do not experience, so I imagine, I define and I desire and by that I feel positive - so I want to manifest this feel of positive

I become possessed with wanting to get what I want without consideration of all facts here because I accumulate this energetic play out within my mind, my body, which overwhelms me, feels like I have to get into, I have to get what is the subject of my desire to stop the need, to have the experience of having, to balance out the lack what I had initially - without even questioning why I need that - do I really need that? What would be the consequence of going after that - not only for myself, but for others as well - is it really supporting SELF?

Instead of directly see what I need, what I want to explore and while considering consequences without thinking, without fear - deciding and acting immediately or not act simply - and by that it is direct, not interpreted, virtualized but remaining here all the time in reality. I do not say it is obviously easy - but that would be really living here in each moment.

That 'ability' we labelled as 'zen mastership', 'enlightenment', 'being one with god', 'shaman state', 'trance' etc - but it would be simply LIVING HERE IN ALL MOMENTS EQUALLY AS SELF.

That can be learned, specifically: what blocks this to unlearn, for give ourselves for not living like this unconditionally.

For a moment let us look it as a skill - however just to make things clear again: this should be the 'natural expression' of ourselves regardless to the fact that humans feel more powerful while thinking and not realizing that it is the false prophet within each of us.

Just to mention two typical desires: love and sex.

Desire for love, the one who I love I desire after - because I do not experience her/him?
Desire for someone who do not want to be with me or can not be with me?
Desire for someone else's partner?
Desire for an imaginary partner with properties I defined myself desiring after?
Desire for somebody I've seen on an image/in a movie?

For me - desire was mostly because I felt myself powerless to directly get what I want - or even go 'out' from my mind and explore and find out what is good for me by trying out things/experiences/expressions - I had this fear to hold myself back to not live - while my starting point was wanting to live - so I suppressed myself, I used my mind to try to 'live inside by thoughts, feelings, emotions' and with that I accumulated energy and with that energy I indirectly fuelled myself to move towards the subject of my desires - I did not trust within myself unconditionally.

And that is escalating quickly - If I do not trust myself - I do not trust even what I perceive, define, react, my abilities, my senses, my expression, I am not real in terms of everything I participate from specific angles are questionable - so I rather not question or I justify and bind myself to conditions - and then I trust in my desire? Sounds crazy.

Also about sexual desire - what I could not live with my partner out - what I implanted into my mind through books, movies, porn - so then I need to try these out, I need to experience and without that I did not live out what I wanted so I fear from the future projection of myself wherein I did not fulfilled these desires and I would regret it - all in my head - not stopping thinking, not correcting myself, not even realizing that it is not me, myself directly who thinks, only being subjected to this programmatic inner reflection mechanism of the mind as thoughts....

So this energetic overwhelming experience what is referred as desire - is not really supporting living - only complicating things...

So how to deal with desire? Is it not obvious that desire is of fear/separation/limitation/doubt?

Write about it - try it out.

If the desire has consequence not harming others/environment(who knows, especially within a vampiristic capitalistic monetary system what we just see as 'a product' what was the real cost for that to be there)- just get it and live it out while realize that it is not about the subject of desire but maybe how you have allowed to compromise your starting point within the mind consciousness - always needing, always depending, always projecting, always imagining, feeling, desiring to disregard what is here - within experience and then self-definition and eventually within and as physical acting out.

So then when it is exposed - realize - forgive and re-align yourself and walk the next moment.

If desire is obviously not supporting or harming - then investigate, forgive, correct and commit self to stop, to re-align, to let go, to breathe, remain here without influences...

And it is not about 'saying no' and suppressing the desire, putting things under the carpet and not changing at all - as it accumulates and energy possessions will occur when the mind personality takes over and one is not the directive principle, and until energy does not steams off - one is acting according to the desire - and again: lot's of energy in the mind is always boosting separation from what is here, our bodies, others.

It is always the question of Self-honesty and considering physical consequences - which are always irreversible - what happened, happened, there is no turning back, no load from last checkpoint.

When the desire is for experiences - one should realize that it is for the mind - and sometimes it can be okay but even the 'giving into the desire' personality can accumulate.

It is not about being a monk - as they do live these things out mostly - just in another dimensions, not the things what people usually desire for - as sexual partner, power, sex, party, fame - but the same separation they participate within - through and as the mind - so it is not an easy task to face and embrace desire - but it is always a reflection of oneself - can not be fought through - but rather we slow down within and we can catch and understand ourselves with each tiny inner movement, reaction to thoughts, images we accumulate personalities which then we give permission to direct us as reality always works with the simple math of 1+1=2.

So that is about fear and desire for today. First consider consequences, others and yourself in reality - and secondly investigate the origin, the starting point of the specific desire - is it really myself? Is it just an influence, a pattern I've picked up since childhood?

For instance within my desire for a dark, curly haired exotic beautiful woman with great temperament - when I 'had' this experience what I desired after - I realized that even while I saw her as very beautiful - the temperament within my mind was craziness, unpredictability and instability - just as I was and the two accumulated into madness, not caring and sharing so it did not last.

Also I have experienced the utmost extreme polarities of the mind for so many times - so the norm was always enormous intensity for me - and when I was not in these insanely extreme energetic experiences in and as my mind - I was after enhancing, boosting - with thoughts, comparison, friction - and it is quite dangerous to live like this as when one is not fully aware of how these things accumulate - accidents, harmful experiences can manifest.

And within long years always flying high - I've became the very manifestation of these extreme energetic experiences - and it is quite shocking when one sees/realizes/understands that who we really are as life is nothing of these - so all I was living, accumulating was in fact not really myself - so then I had to start let go each energetic experiences to be defined by and moved as my mind and it is still the process I walk(and many within the Journey to Life movement).

There are also some 'spiritual' schools what are operating with desires - to live desires, to let go desires - or wish for desires specifically to avoid unforeseen consequences - I do say that rather not desire but trust Self and be practical and give Self what is required for Self-growth, Self-expansion, Self-realization within Self-honesty while considering Self and all others who are involved: Equally!

Thanks, enjoy, breathe!

Self-support from the awesome EQAFE in relation to desire: - See more at: http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... QPowZ.dpuf



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jozsef
Posts: 230
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 23:08
Location: Budapest
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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 10 Mar 2014, 01:20

Day 154
http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... -from.html

There is a series at the Practical Desteni blog which is the most profound self-support on the topic Patience-Impatience I've ever found.

I cannot encourage enough to read through it as these points have never been considered before.

It is part of the process of establishing consistency and self-trust within physical application and with these common sense points one can really become patient and the whole relationship to the physical reality/time versus inner mind-reactions/perceptions of time can be understood and practically apply within our reality.

The whole concept of our definitions and relationships to patience can be transcended to a new level from which we really can assist and support ourselves to become responsible in all areas of our living.

When I share Desteni blogs/articles I really mean that this kind of "profound understanding of how the human mind and physical reality works" I refer to - which I've never found within any spiritual or religious teachings -I've went through tons of those some years ago - those are vague/mystic and mostly out of context of practical reality. Even if some has some practical change reference - there is always a compromise, a belief, a faith which I was never comfortable with.

It is common sense that any spiritual/religious group which does not stand up for economic/political forces what direct our so called 'civilization', they will not change the course of humanity as avoiding the real problems here and only conspiring about personal interest of happiness instead of taking responsibility for the whole system as all as equal as one here in physical reality.

That is why I've left these groups - for me it was obvious they cannot support me for practical change from within to without what is required in this world to make it happen in a measurable, accumulative way in physical space/time. Also some are cool with thinking/sharing these '-ism' s but they do not actually LIVE that, or if they so - they just compromise with excuses and justifications why in fact do not 'have to' change - that is unacceptable within the starting point of Self-honesty.

Nor I want to judge or pish those foes referred as 'masters' but when one starts to study the massive Desteni Material on how the mind works can realize the profound and simplistic explanations of our reality what I am referring here.

So today I share this point: PRACTICAL DESTENI - as it is for practical living - I am still studying and applying the points I am reading from these articles and I am grateful and the least is tho re-share it as it is CRUCIAL to understand and transform our existing relationship to patience and impatience of the polarity of the mind to actual Self-support for perfecting our physical application within consistency without being directed by frictions existing within our mind.

This might seem a lot(more than 15) but these are not so long and day by day it is walkable and I guarantee - it can be a tremendous support for ones who struggle with impatience and not be able to consistently apply PATIENCE AS SELF.

"What one have to understand in relation to the Mind/Consciousness is that: it suppresses and disempowers our Self-Awareness and separates us from our own Physical Bodies and so our ability to in fact take responsibility for and direct ourselves and our own lives. One of the main methods the Mind/Consciousness use to disempower us within and without is Emotional and Feeling Energy, such as the energetic experiences of Patience and Impatience. What I will show within this post and posts to come is: with moving ‘beyond’ emotional/feeling reactions, such as Patience/Impatience and instead focus one’s Awareness on change and solutions – one will find ‘gifts’ within oneself and one’s living that will in fact CONTRIBUTE, assist and support oneself and one’s life/living experience. With such ‘gifts’ being Self and Living Expressions that will ground oneself in the Mind and the Body to become the directive principle and responsibility within who one is and how one live."

...

"Now, there are two different realities at play here: the Mind Reality and the Physical Reality. The Mind Reality moves in ‘quantum time’ and the Physical Reality moves in space and time. The Mind Reality ‘quantum time movement’ is measured by energy and the Physical Reality space-time movement is measured by breath. Dependent on how much energy (emotions/feelings) you access/generate – depends on how fast / slow the Mind will move. Dependent on how slow / fast you breathe – depends on how slow / fast the general condition of the body moves. One can essentially liken the Mind’s movement as a lightning storm in the head-region of human beings and the Physical Body’s movement as a river-movement within itself and also within physical reality. So, one can imagine how the Lightning Storm of the Mind can ‘unsettle the waters’ in the Physical Body / this Physical Reality – which is what we do to ourselves most of the time, because our Awareness is participating / possessed in/as the Lightning Storm of the Mind instead of moving with and as the rivers of/as Physical space-time movement in physical reality."

This was just some of my favorite parts which assists me but here I've listed the whole series(and it might be continued):

http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... ience.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... t-two.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... art-1.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... art-2.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... -time.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... art-2.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... art-3.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... -time.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... me_13.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... ns-to.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... ssion.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... -part.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... rt_21.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... -time.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... -time.html
http://practical-desteni.blogspot.com/2 ... me_31.html

Another great posts by Practical Desteni:

2012: Directions for Ascension – How to know you’re Ascending into the right Direction
Thought-Designs – Part 1 (Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 are there as well!)
Do It. Be it. Live it.
Why do we take things Personally?

Free Online Course for introduction of Desteni Self-support tools with one can start investigating what parts of self is really self and what not and how to practically assist and support oneself to really change:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

- See more at: http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... sG179.dpuf



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jozsef
Posts: 230
Joined: 16 Jun 2011, 23:08
Location: Budapest
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Re: Jozsef's Journey to Life

Postby jozsef » 12 Mar 2014, 01:01

Day 155
http://talamon.blogspot.com/2014/03/jtl ... gyasa.html

(For a while I am going to write in Hungarian for a specific kind of Self-support - desire for rebound/relationship-"pain in the soul"-kind of feelings what "I cannot fulfill" for the reasons self apparently cannot change.)

Egy ideig magyarul fogok írni - egy bizonyos témáról, ami körülöttem több ember agyát lepi el, annyira, hogy nem is igazán tudnak a "normál" értelemben vett (a lehetőségekhez képest) egészséges-boldog életet élni tovább, mindig csak szomorkodás, sírás, kilátástalanság és magány.

A JTL az írásaim elején azt jelenti, hogy Journey to Life - egy egy csoportos megmozdulás, egész sok ember ír s számozza, ezáltal mutatván azokat a napokat, amikben önismereti-jelleggel blogol az ön-őszinteség kiindulóponttal, hogy megváltozzon, a világra megváltozást javasoljon.
Egyre fontosabbá válik, hogy az emberről tudni lehessen, valójában ki ő, mit csinál, mik az értékrendjei, "milyen fából faragták" - főleg, ha felelős posztot vállalna az úgynevezett civilizációban, azaz mind a mikro-, mind a makro-közösségekben.
Erre remek lehetőség az internet, mindenki megoszthatja mással azt, ami fontos számára(, hogy meg legyen osztva).

Számomra s kedves "desteni fórumozó" barátaimmal úgy látjuk, a belső utunk, a saját hibáink felismerése nem az elrejtőzésre, titkolózásra ad okot, hanem ellenkezőleg: a további feltárásra, megnyílásra s megosztásra, elvégre is a paranoiáim, fóbiáim valójában nem én vagyok, főleg, ha egyszer úgy határozok, hogy abbahagyom őket(azaz saját magam azon részeit, akiként ezeket "csinálom"). Megosztván - magamat és másokat egyaránt támogatok:

Magamat, mert az elmém nem egy zárt, titkos univerzum lesz, hanem mások is megértenek, miben vagyok, persze lehetnek genyózók, de nem jellemző, inkább ha visszajeleznek, abból megintcsak tanulhatok, letesztel

Másokat, mert ha őszintén viszonyulok magamhoz, belátok dolgokat és tényleg megváltozom s ezt a gyakorlati utat megosztva más is felismerhet, csatlakozhat, változhat, javulhat.

Önismeret, ön-változtatás - ki vagyok én, ha saját magam nem tudom megváltoztatni? Hogy lehetek biztos abban, hogy aki vagyok, én vagyok s nem csak egy automatizmus, ha képtelen vagyok megváltozni bizonyos dolgaimban - főképp azokban, ami nekem nem jó, ami másoknak nem jó?

Ezt a folyamatot, mivel belátom, ez maga a valóság - teremtés megváltoztatása - önmagam megváltoztatása - egyfajta misztikumoktól lemeztelenített isteni cselekedetnek is fel lehet fogni, persze a profán, hétköznapi értelembe vehető fizikai valóságot, mint mércét szem előtt tartva.

Azaz bárki gondolhat, érezhet akármit - egyenlően osztozunk a földön, a vízen, a levegőn, a tűzön: enni, inni, pihenni s egészégre törekedni mindenkinek kell - ezért felismertük egymásban ezt az ÉLET szikráját, amely egyenlő mindenkiben, ezt kell szem előtt tartani s nem a személyes mániákat, bár amíg azok dominálnak igenis foglalkozni kell velük, mert azzá váltunk szokásainkból eredő tetteink s azok ránk visszajövő következményein s ezeknek kölcsönös függve keletkező láncolatainak ciklikus ismétlődésén keresztül: mi magunk vagyunk a teremtő, a teremtett a teremtés eme folyamatán keresztül.
Ezt felismervén semmilyen külső felelősséghárítást nem téve fölénk-mögénk-alánk-elénk: saját magunk vagyunk önmagunk istenei-sátánai.

Nekem ez egy nagy kihívás, mivel az én "személyiségem" kissé más, kellő baj-szenvedés esetén van egyfajta klinikai tiszta elme állapot, amiben nemcsak pusztán logika, de a hétköznapi értelemben vett józan paraszti ész kezd el dominálni, ami minden esetben a legjobb gyakorlati megoldásokra hajlít - s minél többet cselekszek így, ez válik alaptermészetemmé belátván, hogy idáig olyanokban vettem menedéket, amik nem voltak valódiak.

Persze, bizonyos keretek között lehet játszani, kísérletezni, akár élvezni is érzelmi-hangulati hullámokat, de amikor már képtelenek vagyunk ezt irányítani és folyton csak a szenvedés van, akkor nyilvánvaló, hogy elvesztettük valódi öntudatunkat és automatizáltuk énünket oly módon, ami nem jó számunkra s mégsem hagyjuk abba, nem tudjuk, összezavarodtunk...

Nemcsak azért nem hagyjuk abba, mert nem tudjuk, hanem mert valójában nem akarjuk.

Azzá válván, aként definiálva önmagunkat, ami a szenvedést okozza fel sem merül, mint lehetőség leállítani azt, akikké váltunk.

Próbálok a leges-leglényegretörőbb lenni s szintén kihívás magyarul írnom(egy ideje az angolul író személyiségem automaziáltam idáig)

Ha egy pillanatra is engedélyt adok magamnak belül arra, hogy gondolatok, érzelmek jöjjenek automatikusan, s a lényiség-énemmel szinte "hátradőlve" reagálok ezekre, mint belső valóság - ezek szinte "maguktól" jönnek bennem, s felhalmozódnak, gondolatcsatornák, érzelmi ösvények formálódnak s aztán mindig ugyanazokban a mintákban mozgok s általában ezt nevezzük "én"-nek.

A gondolatok a fejben nyilvánvalóan felhalmozódnak, csak azért nem vesszük észre, mert mindig mindent eldobunk, amikor jön az újabb gondolat - mint az ember, aki a TV-t nézi s ezért van, hogy egy átlag TV-zőnek 8 másodperces a fókuszálóképessége, figyelme - mint a kiscicának - aztán jön az új élmény s az előzőt látszólag elfelejti.

Nos, valójában nem felejtünk, csak ráálltunk mindig erre a műsorra belül - gondolatok, hangulatok, érzelmek az ÉN, ezért az az elsődleges, nem ismervén fel, hogy az csak egyfajta önreflexió, hogy mit engedünk meg, minek alapján, milyen értelembe véve különülünk el saját magunktól pont ezek által.

NEM mondom, hogy azok rosszak, pusztán egy aspektusunk, amit azért is nem élünk meg/ki a másokkal is megosztható fizikai valóságban, mert lépésről lépésre elfogadtuk és megengedtük azt a tendenciát, hogy "befele éljük meg" a dolgokat, ami aztán nől, gyarapszik, rétegződik, automatizálódik.

Mert kifele, a világba úgy véljük, társ hiányában nincs kit szeretni, nincs kitől megkapni azt, amire szükségünk van, nem is kérdezvén meg önmagunkat elveszünk saját magunk kreálta üregek mélységeiben.

"Szerencsére" magam is jártam ezen az úton - nem mondom, hogy csodás volt, valódi POKOL: iszonyatosan szenvedtem, egy ideig, amikor az egyetemre jártam, oly mértékű intenzitásokat talán sosem tapasztaltam magamban, mikor minden aspektusommal, egész lényemmel, az összes porcikámmal egyetlen egy dologra hangolódtam rá, méghozzá, hogy Ővele legyek.

Minden ami volt bennem, mindaz, aki voltam előtte, fokozatosan távolodott s eltörpült az izzó s elsöprő vágy tornádójában, melynek közepén, mint egy magányos, őrült mágus álltam és szemléltem az egész valóságom szétesését, miközben egyetlen egy pontra fókuszáltam belül is és kívül is:
A vágyam, hogy Ővele legyek, a párom legyen, fogadja el szeretetem és viszonozza.

Halálközeli élményeim voltak ez ügyben, nem részletezem, de az alkohol a végletekig katalizálta elképesztő mértékű sóvárgásom Őiránta s többszöri visszautasítások után életem teljesen értelmetlennek tűnt és valóban véget akartam vetni a szenvedéseimnek. Üvöltő, vonyító, fejemet szó szerint a falba verő megveszekedett vadállat módjára sodródtam balhékba s vandalizmusba s sokan csak azért nem ütöttek szét őket borzasztóan zavarván, mert tán tekintetemmel találkozván megértették azt a végtelen, reménytelen szomorúságot, amit lehet, hogy megszánva, attól megrettenve megértették, ennél nagyobb szenvedést úgysem kaphatok, mint amiben éppen vagyok.

Hahaha, jó kis költői kép, bár nem túlzás - feltehetőleg a reménytelen szerelem mindenkinek ilyesmi dajdaj belül...

Nos, ez pár hónapig teljesen magával ragadott, aztán lépésről lépésre képes voltam felegyenesedni s újra emberré válni - hozzátenném persze, hogy akkoriban nem a legjobb megoldást választottam, tehát teljes mértékben nem oldottam meg az akkori agybajom(az csak később, az önmegbocsátással kezdődött 2007 körül s most is tart, de már jóval stabilab vagyok, másokat is képes vagyok figyelembe venni stb), de egy év múltán akkori vágyálmom tudati tárgyával mi végülis összejöttünk és szerelmes párként együtt laktunk - de előtte hosszú-hosszú hónapokig jártam a pokol legmélyebb bugyrait, s csak szerencsének s jótékony egyetemi társaimnak köszönhető, hogy nem léptem villamos alá vagy ugrottam ki az ablakon.

Egy szó, mint száz: jártam arrafele, értelek, hallak, tudom micsoda fájdalom tud belül lenni s mégis itt és most azt írom, mondom, küldöm, sugallom, rezgem, hogy ez a szenvedés nem szükséges, sőt javaslott apró lépésekkel elkezdeni megérteni s kimászni belőle s meghaladni, elkezdeni valóban élni.

Igen, meghaladni, elengedni, mert ezen túl vár az igazi énünk, aki most legbelül csupán egy apró gyertyalángnak tűnik, néha szinte ki is lobbanni látszik, de az a kicsi szikra, míg testünkben fizikai szívünk dobog: ég és helyesen táplálva újra lobogni fog.

Ilyesmi témában fogok írni egy pár alkalommal még, behozom az önmegbocsátást s konkrét példákon át javaslok egyfajta hozzáállást, amely nekem(s másoknak is) megadta azt a tudatosságot és erőt, mellyel képes voltam meggyógyítani saját magam elmebaját és újra képesnek lenni egy egészséges és nemcsak magam, de másokat is támogató szociális életre.

Egyáltalán nem célom okoskodni, azon túl vagyok rég, sőt a Mátrixos Morpheus-kodásos korszakomon is, most pusztán látom, belső csendben érzem azt a szenvedést, amit néhány körülöttem lévőek mutatnak és természetesnek tűnik, hogy mindaz, amit én tehetek, hogy segítsek megteszem, DE

Neked kell eldönteni, akarni, ellenállások közepette jelen maradni és cselekedni - még akkor is, mikor semmi értelem, semmi haszon, SEMMI sem sugallja ezt belül, mégis, csak feltétel nélkül bíznod kell önmagadban.

Szintén fontos, hogy eleinte az írást fogom javasolni, mivel
-1 legolcsóbb pszichoterápia
-2 "én" csinálom, eleve cselekedet, erőt ad, a fizikai valóságban teszem(megmarad papíron-fájlban), nem az elmémben cikázok
-3 a sok kavargó érzés, gondolat lelassul, miközben írunk - szóról szóra jönnek a dolgok s közben, utána is értelmezhető(ha az jön, hogy érthetetlen, akkor tovább írunk, lassulunk)
-4 esetleg mások is elolvashatják - ez szintén félelmetesnek tűnhet elsőre, de vannak, akik nagyon durva dolgokon mentek át s megértik az őrült elmét, nem ragadja el őket, képesek nem ítélni - főleg azok, akik régóta írnak őszintén valószínű hasonlókon mentek át
-5 nem kell megosztani blogra, facebookra, bár az egy ponton túl elég nagy integritást tud reflektálni - vállalom-e szavaim, tetteim, valóban változni akarok, s meg is teszem vagy csak írogatni róla, mások is tudják, min megyek keresztül, nem csak az időjárás a téma s felelősséget vállalok magamért, esetleg ha más is olvassa, támogatást kaphat vagy javaslatot tehet

Itt jön általában az, hogy
-"régen írtam én már"
-"nem az én módszerem"
-"nincs miről írnom"
-"képtelen vagyok szavakba önteni"
-"félek meglátni mi van belül"
-"ellenállásom van, hogy leírjam"
-stb

Ha gondolatok vannak, azt le lehet írni - ha nem írjuk le, azok csak fokozódnak, energiát termelnek, negatív érzelmekbe fokozzuk vele magunkat, aztán a szar érzés jön, s nincs hatalmunk felette, pedig minden egyes gondolat, amit elfogadunk belül a problémás dolgokkal kapcsolatban s azt megengedjük: egy-egy lépés a szar érzés fele.

Hiába a mantra, a tantra, a pia, a drog, a hektikus társkeresés - általában azok csak újabb rétegek lesznek a hagymán, míg belül már erjed a közepe...

Amint leáll a meditáció, kimegy a cucc, odébbál a partner, énünk jelenlegi tendenciája magától visszatér - mert valójában sem nem értettük meg, se nem változtattuk meg magunkat, tehát a valódi "munkát" elkerülni lehetetlen.

Le kell ásni a legmélyéig, s olyan szintű belátásnál már maga a felismerés is segítő, de a tudatosodáshoz vannak gyakorlati módszerek, afféle Neuro-Linguistic Programming, de annál sokkal életszerűbb, érthetőbb...

Szavak által lettünk, szavak által vagyunk és szavak által leszünk - kimondani, írni s tenni is ugyanazt lenne a nagybetűs ÉLET, nos ha ezek eltérnek, az súrlódást, konfliktust szül először belül majd kívül - ezeket össze lehet és érdemes is hangolni - nem csak önmagunkat, de másokat is egyenlően figyelembe venni.

Lépésről lépésre haladok, rétegről rétegre hámozom személyiségem szó-alapú struktúráit, emlék után emlékeken megyek újra át - s leírok minél többet. Ez túlagyalásnak, megszállottságnak, agyanalízisnek tűnhet, de ha józan paraszti ésszel nézzük - valójában, amikor szomorkodunk, szenvedünk "lelki" fájdalmaktól - akkor valójában pontosan ezt tesszük - beakadt a lemezjátszó, ugyanazok a gondolat s reakció s érzésminták ismétlődnek folyton, amíg nem állítjuk le, de ahhoz előbb meg kell érteni mi az és hogyan keletkezett.

A legfontosabb matematika, amire a világmindenség épül az 1+1=2 - s a lelki bajaink ahogyan a felhalmozódással lettek azzá, amit most tapasztalunk - ugyanilyen felhalmozással csak annak megértése, leállítása, meghaladása kiindulóponttal ez abbahagyható.

Fontos a polaritást, az ellentéteket is elengedni - nem pozitív, nem negatív semmi - csak az elménkben - ezt a szemléletet lehet tanulni, gyakorolni, élni - s bármennyire is jónak tűnik, ami jó érzést kelt - az össze van kapcsolva azzal most, amivel a rosszat generáljuk - egyfajta abszolútértéket kell tudni látni ebben az ön-korrekciós fázisban - tehát a +1 s a -1 abszolútértéke szintén 1.
Minden gondolat, érzés ez a fajta polaritás mentén létezik az elménkben - elő-ítélet - automatikus definíció - persze ezen túl lehet a józan paraszti ész - nem kell macskaszart rossznak gondolni, hogy ne szagolgassuk.

Cselekedni, mégsem definiálni dolgokat sokat segíthet, ezt is érdemes elsajátítani tehát - kifejezetten kiemelve saját életünk élményeire.
Nem ítélni, hisz bármi, amit most megítélünk, egy olyan ítélő-aspektusunk, aki eleve rabja az automatikus ítéletnek, tehát arra hangolódunk, hogy elsőre csak megfigyelés.

Önmarcangolás, önítélet, ön-ostorozás mind szóval, mind gondolattal szintén egy olyan automatizmus, amely nem ésszerű - ha látjuk magunkon mit nem szeretünk, miért nem változtatjuk meg, ahelyett, hogy csak nézzük, hogy csináljuk, aztán elítéljük, de nem változ(tat)unk.

Ha változni akarsz, s kattog benned, hogy "majd jobb lesz", nem biztos, főleg, ha csak jönnek a gondolatok.

Az, amit én javaslok, ha jól csinálod, segít, ha nem csinálod jól, de akarod, akkor egy idő után rájössz, hogy lehet jól, de ha nem akarod, nem csinálod s kész, de akkor tudod - mégsem annyira szörnyű a szenvedés, vagy a szenvedésnek ítéled léted, tehát lehet, hogy még mész egy kicsit lefele, csak tudd - egy ponton neked kell nemet mondani a baromságra a fejedben, neked kell leírni a dolgokat és amint leírod a problémákat, a megoldás szintén nyilvánvaló lesz - kérdés, hogy valóban meg akarod-e oldani.

Ehhez el kell engedni dolgokat, főleg ha annyira rossz, akkor meg lehet és érdemes is kérdőjelezni mindent, még önmagamon belül is - bármiben meg lehet változni, csak gondolj rá, ha pisztolyt fognának a fejedhez, biztos gyorsabban írnál - nos, ha zavar az egód, akkor az írás pont ilyen pisztoly az egó virtuális fejének - mert lelepleződik s a végén kiderül, hogy nem is valódi:)

Legközelebb egy konkrét példán megyek végig, hogy is lehet az önmegbocsátás gyakorlati módszerével elkezdeni felhalmozni egy önerőt belül, hogy kimásszunk a saját magunk ásta gödörből.

Ha nem megy az írás - beszélj arról, miért nem megy az írás - diktafonba, kamerába - s ne ítéld, csak figyeld meg, mintha egy másik embert hallgatnál - de az írást nem lehet megúszni - írni kell, ha megoldás kell, ez az út, ha túl sok a gondolat, fájó érzelem, azok leállíthatatlanok, kontrollálhatatlanok, írás a segítő.

Ismétlés is hasznos lehet - persze értelmes szavak, nem óm táre túttáre, hanem konkrétan, tettel kapcsolatos szavakkal

ELDÖNTÖM, HOGY MEGVÁLTOZOM, ezt ismétlem, amíg nem vagyok elég határozott. S közben meglátom határozatlanságom, megkérdem miért vagyok ilyen, amilyen.

Ha nem megy másképp, mástól is lehet ideiglenesen segítséget kérni, de külső feltételekhez sokáig nem érdemes kötni az erőt, akaratot, döntést, mert akkor ha egyedül vagyunk, minden pokoli visszajön - ezért egyedül is kell csinálni, de az elején lehet kis lendítést kérni mástól, nem szégyen az, nekem is voltak pillanatok, mikor kellett mások támogatása.

Mára ennyi, de ha nem tudsz írni, akkor lehet, hogy még nem szenvedtél eleget vagy nem is akarsz változni s akkor én sem koptatom tovább a billentyűzetet:)

Ha jó vagy angolból, van egy online kurzus, azt a saját tempódban, saját magad csinálhatod, gyakorlatilag hasonlókat mutat, mint én tömörítek össze pár mondatban, de sokkal jobban elmagyarázva, kiterjedten, "saját" "támogató emberkével"(buddy) a rendszerben, akivel lehet kommunikálni, bár a kurzus magától értetődő.

Ezt a kurzust-tanfolyamot azok segítenek emberkenek csinálni, akik hasonló támogatást már kaptak és realizálták, azt adni, amit kapunk gyakorlatilag egyenlő azzal, hogy azt adjuk, amit kapni szeretnénk.

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