Cerise Journey To Life

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 18 Apr 2017, 20:04

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... isten.html

Original post: https://eqonehorsemanship.wordpress.com ... se-listen/

Well, your horse is listening, you just don’t know how to speak yet – at least not in the way that horses speak.

While we are very well developed in our ability to communicate verbally (compared to horses at least) we are not so great at things like being aware of our body language, and being able to effectively convey our desired meanings to others.

I often see people complaining that their horse is not listening, is not following the aides given to them, or is even being a little nutty. Interestingly enough though, when I watch how they are trying to communicate with their horse, I am not at all surprised that the horse is just plain confused. Horses are forgiving creatures, we underestimate just how hard they try to make us happy (often for the simple reason to avoid conflict). It is difficult though for the horse to give us what we want when we are giving mixed signals. Our arms say one thing, our posture says another, the pressure we’re applying to the horse says yet another and our intention is something completely different.

Part of what is lacking is, yes, the understanding of how horses communicate and how to effectively convey what we want within our body language. But within this we must consider that part of the puzzle is US – who we are. What is it that stops us from reflecting on the question “Why won’t my horse listen?” – why do we so often blame the horse and refuse to consider that we are the ones who need to adjust our approach so that we can HELP our horses understand what it is that we are wanting to communicate.

It is so common to see people looking for new and improved ways to force their horse to do something, often by using pain. Sadly, it is in these situations that we will see the development of behavioural issues in a horse, as well as the development of health issues (injuries due to the horse not being properly physically prepared on all levels for the demands placed on them; colic). Even then, we often refuse to look at ourselves – we look for ways to try fix the issues that crop up – but without addressing the cause of the issues, they will, naturally, continue to reoccur.

I am sure you can agree with me, for the sake of your horse, when I say that we are rather proud and stubborn creatures. We are too proud to look in the mirror at how WE have contributed to creating a bad situation, and we will stubbornly continue to refuse to do so until something forces us to look – and that something is seldom pleasant.

So what will it take for us to take a long, hard look in the mirror without waiting for some awful event (where the horse usually pays the price for our obstinance)? We are the ones who have to be better, we are the ones who have the responsibility to ensure that we are doing the best we possibly can for our horses – not the other way around. When we make the choice to take responsibility for another living being – a being that is so very different from us – the onus of responsibility rests upon our shoulders, and only upon ours. It is unfair to burden our horses with the expectation that they will somehow adapt themselves to suit our limited way of communicating. We are the ones with the ability to adapt ourselves. We are the ones who want to ride horses. We are the ones who are removing horses from their natural states and asking them to perform for us. The least we can do for them is make the effort to understand exactly how they communicate and ensure that our efforts to communicate with them are as easy as possible for them to understand.

There is so much material available – my suggestion is to look for material where the author loves what they do, loves horses and focuses on bringing out the best in their horses – and by that I mean where they help their horses to have the best time possible.

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 19 Apr 2017, 14:08

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... curse.html

Is death a gift or a curse for those fighting to survive?

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CerisePoolman
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Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 19:24

Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 20 Apr 2017, 20:24

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... -guns.html

I know you may not want to, but we need to have a talk.

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 21 Apr 2017, 21:16

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... -here.html

How about we all make really pretty pictures of ourselves and walk around only showing that. No one ever has to know who we really are or smell what our farts smell like. Because farts don't exist.

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 22 Apr 2017, 20:26

Have you been living according to whatever is priming you in your life?

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... tives.html

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 26 Apr 2017, 19:48

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... ipled.html

What does principled living practically mean? Is it something big we do in our lives, or is it about the small things in our daily living?

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 27 Apr 2017, 20:08

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... -self.html

Changing the world system cannot change the way the world is.

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 28 Apr 2017, 21:09

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... -into.html

This is how I started turning one of my weaknesses into a strength.

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CerisePoolman
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Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 30 Apr 2017, 19:26

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... -self.html

This is a blog I wrote for Eqone - you can find the original post here:
https://eqonehorsemanship.wordpress.com ... eflection/

Have you ever heard the saying that your horse is your mirror – that they reflect back to you what your issues, hang-ups, weaknesses, strengths and more are? If you haven’t heard that saying before, take a moment to open yourself up to a different way of seeing your horse.

What I mean when I say that your horse is a mirror is that your horse will adjust their behaviour according to who you are – meaning your body language, intentions, actions, and so on. So if you have an issue with authority, lets say you lack confidence in taking up a leadership role, then your horse will see that through your behaviour, and (most likely) take on a role of authority. One thing that we must remember with horses is that they are herd animals and they enjoy knowing who’s the leader – this is what kept their species alive all these years – there is always a clear hierarchy and the leader is always on the lookout for danger (and water, better grazing, etc). So if we shy away from being leaders, our horses will step into that role to make sure that they will stay safe. Yes, it’s not always about survival – there will be other elements involved. Sometimes horses just like being the leader and will challenge you for that role.

Another example is when we are uncertain of ourselves, our horses will act similarly, showing anxiety, confusion, uncertainty – and this can often manifest in different ways, such as a horse refusing to move, or a horse bolting.

I think the greatest thing about our horses is that they force us to see ourselves – though often we will remain obstinately ignorant for as long as possible (and our horse pays the price). I have had days where I blamed everything on my horse, I felt like he was just deliberately being an idiot, or being mean – those days usually did not end well. I’d put my horse in the paddock and walk away feeling yucky inside, often ashamed of myself. Those were the days that I would get angry with my horse and stick with that anger, instead of taking a step back within myself to ask why I was angry, and what the hell was really going on with ME that my horse was behaving in that way.
Now I’m not saying that horses have absolutely no sense of self, that it’s only ever about us – but what I am saying is that we should always, always, always check ourselves first before we look to the horse as the cause. Yes, sometimes our horses will have a bad day. Yes, sometimes our horses will feel fresh. But even on these days it’s up to US to help them to find their centre again, to come back to themselves (and that doesn’t always work). This is part of why I will never commit to any particular plan when I bring my horse into the arena – I want to see where he is at in that moment and work with that.

Unfortunately, it is quite easy for us to kid ourselves into always thinking that there must be something wrong with our horse, or that they must be behaving badly just because they feel like it. It becomes even easier when we surround ourselves with other people who do the same. I have found that generally it is those people who are not well educated on horse behaviour who will do the most harm to a horse out of ignorance – like fighting with the horse to force the horse to do something (when maybe the horse just doesn’t know what the hell is going on). I have also observed that talking openly about making changes to how we handle horses is not something that many people are comfortable doing, especially in the presence of others who have a limited understanding of horse behaviour and psyche. It’s similar to how we tend to not want to get involved with an abusive family situation – we tell ourselves that it’s not our business, that there’s nothing we can do anyway.

Sure, sometimes there isn’t much we can do to change how someone else works with their horse, but sometimes there is something we can do – and that something can make a difference to that horse. I find that the most important thing in these situations is to approach someone as their equal – no judgement, no anger, no irritation – those emotions will more likely just add fuel to the fire (or start a fire). It is in these moments that we must practice an absolute calm and clarity within ourselves, doing so will create the space for a much better outcome than going in with guns blazing.
Having said that, we must practice that same humility with ourselves – we must at all times be willing to reflect on ourselves, to look at our own behaviour – because sometimes, we are the ones who have been living in ignorance.

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CerisePoolman
Posts: 1242
Joined: 15 Sep 2011, 19:24

Re: Cerise Journey To Life

Postby CerisePoolman » 07 May 2017, 19:37

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... hange.html

Why don't people change? Why don't I change?


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