Ambrož's journey to life

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Marlen
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Marlen » 17 Oct 2012, 23:05

Hi

Here's some suggested articles to read through in order to clarify the point of free will that you wrote about earlier
‘Free Will’ – Remember: ‘Free Will’ only Determines ‘What Happens to You´- it does-Not Determine ‘What happens to Everyone-else’ – Thus, Everyone has got ‘Absolute’ – ‘Free Will’ and ‘Absolute’- ‘Consequence’, You are Not Able to Determine Anyone else’s ‘outcome’ in Reality –‘All is Equal’ – in this Point of ‘Free Will’ – It Only Determines ‘Your’ Future.

Source: http://desteni.org/a/interviews-from-th ... the-future
These transcripts are also cool to read through - if you want a broader explanation on good/ bad polarity, read the entire blog in all its 10 entries:

Michael Tsarion Video Response 8: Free Will and Free Choice Part 1

Michael Tsarion Video Response 9: Free Will and Free Choice Part 2

Michael Tsarion Video Response 10: Free Will and Free Choice: Conclusion


I also suggest you read Bella's document on Free Will
REAL FREE WILL self-forgiveness is inFact self-determination


From here I suggest you re-read your post Day 18: For giving self-for giving? It's cool that you're able to now see the starting point of self forgiveness and consider the consequential outflow of exerting such 'free will.' However it is to consider before that what is it exactly that is determining such 'free will' and how it has been obviously abused as a way to impose onto another or oneself something that is justified under the banner of 'free will' and in fact turns into abuse. So, the consequence aspect is pivotal here.


And in relation to your last post here, consider how any feel good/ feel bad experience is of course only part of a system of values imposed onto what is already here. One can be grateful if such gratefulness has been walked through self forgiveness as the giver/ receiving and stopping such gratefulness from becoming an energetic experience, you simply can give and receive in equality and that's definitely not a feel good/ feel bad, but how the Earth works, how we should function/ work toward each other and the Earth itself, such as what we are proposing in the Equal Money System 'give as you would like to receive' and such generosity will no longer be something 'more' than ourselves, but simply the principle in which we guide our every doing and decision made. There will be no charity or altruism which are ego-cover ups for being 'the savior' that has money to give to others, without realizing how the 'benevolent person with money' is actually the cause why those that have no money are actually a consequential outflow of those that do have the money to then make it an entire benevolent show of self interest to give to 'the needy ones.' This is an example of what to spot within your writing in order to apply self forgiveness on.

No profit, no possession, no paid labor - giving and receiving in equality is how the equality system will work as a dignifying principle, no more feelings and experiences to it other than sheer physical fulfillment of our needs and requirements to live.

If you've got any perspective, question - share it.



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Ambroz
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Ambroz » 18 Oct 2012, 21:25

Day 20: Walking and talking

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... lking.html

This were the time frames of my walking everyday to school and back and the happenings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize my time during walking for being consumed by the thoughts of fantasies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to during my walk think of how it would be like if people had abilities like telepathy, listening to others thoughts, to fly with the power of mind, to create matter out of nothing or turn it into nothing.

How it would be like if i could move a rock. But if i can move a small rock doesn't that meant i could move a big one too. But that's bollocks. Why the hell would I need arms than and legs. Whats the point of difference between flying and walking, it only serves purpose of getting from point A to point B, and if the time is what is gained what is the point of that since making one goal complete would only make me seek another goal so time is irrelevant unless I'd be a freak for success and how would that serve me, for an energetic experience? And whats the point of creating something out of nothing if there is already something created. Who did it? Did we do it and we don't even remember? Who ever did it I doubt it it was only one or was it. If it was one it was lonely...

I forgive myself to have accepted and allowed myself to think that superheroes exist, instead of me realizing and understanding that if there is nothing for a that kind of will to do there is no purpose for it to exist and not realizing that super hero fantasies were suggested from generations before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what future might bring of positive/negative experience such as meeting bullies, instead of realizing that it is highly unpredictable and in that I stop I breathe and focus on here and now and what it is that needs to be done here.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that time always runs equally fast as in one second per second and in that i forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the illusion of time running faster is only due to talking with a friend and not being enclosed in the mind pondering stuff.

At this I'd like to ask if any of you guys reading this blog has ever looked at the clock at the second counter and at the moment of looking at it saw it moved like backwards and than forwards or like taking longer to move the first tick than all the next ticks?(clock with counters; hour, minute, second) I'm just asking because sometimes I had that illusion in my head. If not don't bother answering because I always saw it more of a mind fuck than anything else.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that time does not run faster or slower since that wouldn't mean anything but the fact that I would be still entrapped in that time space and by that I mean all of the space since if that wasn't all of the space than it would mean that some parts could be behind the time or in front it and that would mean that some situations aren't avoidable in the terms of speeding up the time and than slowing it down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in such thoughts while walking myself home instead of realizing that I'm only entrapped in my mind and that I'm missing here and in that I stop I breathe and move myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel positive energetic experience during talking with my friend during walk due to telling jokes making fun out of other peoples mistakes and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself superior towards other peoples mistakes as in thinking/saying I could do it better and instead of judging them what they did wrong, I move myself and tell/show/point out how to do it a proper way if the circumstances allow that and the consequences are best for all meaning it won't cause more harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kick stones on the ground as justification of getting energetic experience of it as in the further I could kick it the more satisfied I would feel.

There was this dog from a neighbor of my grandma. Every time I'd walk past it he would run towards the fence and barked at me all the time. Even though I knew he was coming I know that he caused me the that jolt of fear and got me excited. Sometimes I'd talk to him or even bark at him. There was this one time I took time and really just stared at him and the reason was to see him how long he could keep up the barking. Well I stand so long till I started hearing his voice going dry and started choking a bit. Than I just went on. After that I think that dog never barked at me. I think the reason was that the owner made an operation on him or so I was told. Poor guy never got out on a walk always in the cage or the courtyard of that house.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear from that dogs barking and running towards me to the fence of the courtyard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to the dog even though I knew that he couldn't understand me nor I did him (his barking) and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive energetic experience of me being safe since that dog could not come into contact with me and in that not seeing that the dog is en caged and it was dishonest of me to have a positive energy experience while it was evident that the dog was in a frustrated state of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize barking as tool to make that even more mad instead of seeing and realizing that I only perpetuate the clearly visible frustration of the dog and in that I forgive myself to have accepted and allowed myself to be happy as in i was successful at making that dog even more furious that he already was instead of seeing that I am only harming him even more as in making him even more furious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in front of the barking dog as in I'd knew that he wouldn't stop until he ran out of energy voice to bark and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a positive energetic experience of being successful at making dog tired of barking at me instead of me not seeing and understanding that I was hurting him by making him go dry and with that making him stop barking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fell sad and negative energy experience for that dog because of his state of living in an closed environment.

I forgive myself to have accepted and allowed myself to be sad for that do because of the operation he supposedly was made to took by his owners in the name of getting that dog to stay silent (that is how the gossip was).



Marlen
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Marlen » 18 Oct 2012, 23:43

Hi Ambroz

A general suggestion here with regards to your writings here is to walk events of your day as you go establishing first the identification of who you are in every moment of your day to day living. What's been happening here in your blogs is opening up points without an actual direction as to take one single habit, a pattern a belief or an entire character for that matter through the process of self-forgiveness and self corrective application. Thus, there is no correlation between a point that you may be writing out the day before and the following one today, which is becoming a rather scattered way to proceed - why? because your writings are based upon memories and ingrained beliefs that would have to be then taken one point at a time through a series of blogs wherein you can actually walk a point in its entirety till the point of self-correction within it.

Otherwise there are several memories and points opened up in your writings which jump from one point to another without giving it proper resolution through writing self forgiveness and self corrective statements, essentially because every single part could be broken down as separate points to walk - as has been suggested by Maya earlier on as well.

Thus, consider this and decide for example to take on a particular habit, experience that you have let's say on a regular basis and that you would want to correct as part of your written process here. For that you can also check out our blogs and how we've been opting to walk a point thoroughly in its various dimensions and aspects wherein we are ensuring we are in fact getting to know ourselves as such particular design, habit, pattern, belief, etc. Picking on several things at a time will only open up several points without following through with any of them, which is, once again, not suggested.

Ask yourself practical questions like: how is walking this point going to support me in my every day living that I go through and how is it relevant to my current reality?

If there is no actual relevancy, I would suggest to then not indulge into further thinking points and memories that in essence have no correlation toward what you could instead be writing about related to your current every day living reality.

Giving yourself an order is a point you can begin implementing here as part of your process. Not allowing yourself to follow the mind into its various outflows and memories and associations, but become the directive principle of a point to walk and stick to it till you are satisfied that you have written out and applied an acceptable self-exploration about a particular point you're living.

Reading everyone's blogs is a suggestion as well, thanks for sharing.



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Ambroz
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Ambroz » 19 Oct 2012, 21:31

Day 21: Lunchtime

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... htime.html

This is a continuation of:

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... nd-me.html

The part facing my grandma and ma.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that the happiness on my grandmas face was due to me still being amongst the living and that I have successfully came home after school

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to react with content and played out my reaction towards grandma with happiness instead of realizing how blessed I was to receive my lunch from grandma so that I wouldn't experience hunger.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I got my lunch from grandma because she cared about me as she made that lunch also for me so that I wouldn't experience hunger and in that I forgive myself that I reacted as `I don't care character´ when I was late coming home instead of me seeing that she was worried for me because I wasn't home on time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm spoiled because of extra dish she would prepare for me because I didn't eat lunch such as meat and fat instead of seeing realizing that food is food no matter how it looks and in that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that by not eating the intended meal I would make my grandma believe that the food she cooked wasn't good enough for me and instead I should have made grandma know that I didn't like a certain kind of food because of the texture or ingredients such as meat, fat, tissue...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to vomit while chewing trough the fat, meat, tissue, and instead of swallowing the meat I rather spew it out and in that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that it was careless of me throwing away the food while there are some that don't have the privilege to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to judge my grandma and ma to be fat instead of seeing realizing that it is not me to judge their condition since it was their choice to become express themselves in the physical that way, due to acceptances and allowances they made.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to react with anger while someone was judging me in a negative way and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger within me because someone would judge me in a negative way and than try to seek the positive energetic experience due to knowing that they don't care about me how I feel and used that as starting point to have an experience of positive as me knowing what the real cause is and them only thinking of knowing what the real cause is due to my fulfilment of not being hungry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger like raising my voice towards my grandmother and mom when I was overwhelmed by their judgements and seeing me as inferior towards them in the situation of not fulfilling their desires of me eating whole lunch.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide anger while I have been questioned by my mother of my activities and letting her overwhelm me with questions instead of stopping, taking a breath and continue with normal participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angered by my mother due to asking me so much questions trough doubt she expressed towards me and than me reacting towards her as yelling and making jokes about her as finding her weaknesses, than pointing them out to her and making jokes about her beliefs of christian religion and making her feel bad about herself instead of me stopping and breathing and than continuing with participation in the conversation and in this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I am only flaming up the anger between my self and my mom while reacting in anger and that I am making situation only worse and giving into the emotion instead of me being here and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger towards religious call in me knowing that it is not necessary for me to visit such a class as in it is not life dependant or being needed to be experienced as in I have free choice to learn what I need and that is necessary for life and not afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make jokes about God and in that not seeing that I am giving into emotion of positive experience and giving myself into the mind instead of me being here in the physical participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and sabotage my mothers beliefs due to she is making me angry and now I'm going to be vengeful and make here angry and in that not seeing and realizing that I'm only giving into the mind energetic experience and only making situation worse and in that I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to be vengeful towards my mother with words and not seeing that I'm giving into the energy experience and in that I stop and breathe.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to receive a gift from someone due to me knowing that that gift is useless to me because there is no practical use for me and in that not seeing that I'm making the giver unsatisfied due to making the giver believe that his gift is not good for me and in this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I haven't been honest with the giver and express myself honestly as for not expressing why I haven't accepted and allowed myself to received something from the giver.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that all the useless object we make are only to serving making our liefs easier/more fulfilled as in term of experiencing of having something and in that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that due to having unpractical applications we are slowly destroying our natural habitat by making wastes and other stuff that is polluting natural environment.



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Ambroz
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Ambroz » 19 Oct 2012, 21:39

Ok lol I think I got it now. I'll write about my daily life and when I see a point of someking that is not to my likeing I'll express it and forgivemyself for it.

I totally missed it than.

I frogive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to express my daily rutine of my life and than express points that bother me and forgive myself for them by writeing and saying them out loud and than practically apply them in the physical.

I frogive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that by rushing to conclusions in my mind and picking up points of how something is has got nothing to do with reality and in that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that the thoughts of conclusions I am having in my mind have nothing to do with the participation within real, only real thing is my movement and participation.

Thanks for support and nerves to put up with my mess.



Marlen
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Marlen » 19 Oct 2012, 22:44

Ok lol I think I got it now. I'll write about my daily life and when I see a point of someking that is not to my likeing I'll express it and forgivemyself for it.
More than it being of your liking, it is about establishing self honesty meaning what is it within your thoughts, words and deeds standing in and for the benefit of only yourself without considering the consequences and outflows it causes toward others/ affecting others - where are you not being self responsible, where is it that you are deceiving in order to get things working your way, where are you wanting to place yourself as the winner in reality, where are you playing the good person in the story of your day to day living, where are you deliberately harming others to impose your will, where are you manipulating your relationships to always have them working to your own benefit, where and how are you living by the law of the 'least effort' in your reality - school, job, relationships, etc - where are you abusing yourself to match an ideal in your mind, where are you deliberately causing conflict within you and projecting it to others as a form of blame, where are you believing that you are free to do whatever you want, where have you caused massive physical strain to your physical body due to repeating certain patterns/ habits that only stand as a positive experience in your mind while neglecting the effects at a physical level - and within this, every emotional/ feeling/ thinking participation applies - how is it that you've been only playing out memories of yourself as the past limitations of the accepted and allowed persona that you built yourself as without ever considering practical considerations to live as an equal participant in this world, where are you protecting self interest with certain personalities, how is it that your words spoken don't match the actual thinking in the 'background' as the secret mind? what type of backchat are we allowing within ourselves to dictate 'who we are' in our every moment in reality? how is it that we forget about being here breathing due to being scheming something up there in the mind, where and how have we deceived ourselves into believing that our life is just 'fine' while in fact being fearing looking at the truth that we've become?

These are some questions that will lead to a self-honest introspection upon your life, and that implies that there are several events during our day that we can walk through writing, self forgiveness, self corrective statements.

I suggest you to get the Self Awareness Steps for the Elite series, it's essentially a Process Writer's 101 crash course that is supportive for all, even after years of writing self forgiveness one gets a 'reminder' of how to do this.


Cool, lol, I'm 'glad' you see it because I saw that you posted this other blog and was assessing how to explain it further. So, yes, a new beginning for your process - alright. Read you around.



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Ambroz
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Ambroz » 20 Oct 2012, 22:15

Day 22: Giving into...(part 1)

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... art-1.html

This is what happened after midnight, after I posted day 21: Lunchtime

Neighbor called me, he said to come to his house with a computer mouse so that we'll play some game.
Immediately I gave into the feeling, not even considering if this is best for me and for those around me. I went to his house first we smoked a cigarette than I consciously asked him if he has any speed on him, he said he has. It was a question of a desire from me to get drugged up. It was like some time since I took it and instead of slowing down I just gave in. There is nothing to say for myself as in that moment of choice I knew I have given into the mind of desires. Well I took a line and than we went playing. We did two games and in the mid between the games and at the end I took some more of it and also have a cigarette. I have broken my commitments in pursuit of happiness and in that I felt guilt and at the same time regret and always tried to cover it up with `I don't care´ character, I want to get the experience of being drugged and further manipulated myself.

Than I went home I turned on my comp and Internet wasn't working properly so I went on reading What the FAQ is equal money system, because I was all awake. After two and a half hours of reading I tried to get some sleep, I couldn't, i was focusing on breath all the time and thoughts would still come up as in
why do I do something that I have committed myself not to do,
why don't I stop this shit of giving into self-interest of getting my physical fucked up all of the time,
why am I so weak of not taking responsibility for my life,
why don't I just break free from all this commotion of making a commitment to myself than brake it and than feeling regret over it from failing as giving in to the experience
As I remember this was the third time this happened to me this year maybe more and smoking I quited for like two months at the start of the year and after that breakdown I started again my head was so full of these delusions taking a smoke was the worst thing instead of just taking a breath. Same thing when smoking a cigarette when breathe in I totally focus on getting my lungs full of air and in that moment there are no thoughts because I totally focus on breath.

Well time passed and at 8:30 I got out of bed my mind was running in circles all of the time because of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become. Anyway went down cleaned my face and teeth than I went into the kitchen and dad was there and said: "Go change your clothes you smell like shit (cigarettes).
I immediately stopped myself from reacting just took a breath in and went up back to my room to change clothes. Than I made myself something to eat and went back upstairs to check if Internet is working, it didn't so I went on back reading. While reading I had to keep reminding myself that I must not scratch myself on the back and on the face, its so hard to stop, constantly continuously, stop, breathe like I can't be fucking still.

Than the time came to take my grandparents to this meting of the whole family of theirs (some woman made a chart of all of the family on my grandmothers side that is still alive). First we drove to my cousin to meet with them and then we went on. While there I played with the son of my cousin and we threw this ball around and also talked with my cousin of how are things. Than we all went together to that meeting.

There was like 120 people all related in someway, I only knew 5 of them well cousin and her family.
There was a greeting with an aperitif, I took one glass of blueberry brandy and I thought of not taking it and I'd still let into the feeling. Than we sat down there were sweets on the table I didn't took any. I talked to my cousin until the representation of the tree started. After that we went out to take some group photos and than we went back inside. We got served with a lunch, I drank only juice since I was driving. In the middle of the happening I started to go tired since I hadn't have any sleep, I didn't know what to say to my cousin so I just listen to people around me, give a comment here and there mostly stayed silent and try only focusing on breathing and listening. Thoughts of judgements would still come up when I would listen to someone, I would like speak self-forgiveness in my head but was scared of pronouncing than out loud as I didn't know what would happen or something like that fear was the trigger of not being loud about it. Well most of the time I would just breathe and listen to other peoples conversations about family and so on. After a while I went to grandma and asked her if she wants to go home well I wanted to because cousin left and there was no one else that I knew. Well she still wanted to get this book on family tree and I said: "no problem, when you want to go tell me".

We went back home. When I came into my house I just started saying self-forgiveness out loud and feel sorry for my ass of what I have become in real life just because for all my life I have been pursuing success of getting high on feeling, emotion, drugs, PC games, not being responsible for myself, all those thought fuck ups that I have made myself believe as a child as I'm someone special or more than others or better than others I like for the I don't know how many times reminded myself that it isn't good and that it is evil to have such thoughts and with no consideration toward others and in that I started crying again feeling bad, again giving into the feel of being worthless and nothing but abuser of my parents my family my friends my surroundings, I fucking have everything that one needs to survive and I constantly see myself as a victim towards others, like no matter how I want to help myself or even another it always fucking fails, always I get judgements towards myself or getting schooled like some people say `manpulator´ even my dad says that even my mother and than if I'm something more it is not good because I get judged as an egoist, selfish, spoiled, superior or more and if I play out the lesser guy I get like victimized, being less, worthlessness, still selfish, no matter what I fucking do for myself is not good. And if I say I'm equal to others yeah I'll keep on dreaming. All I know is that I have to forget everything I thought myself to be and just face that what I always have been afraid to be which is being a fool like I always was in my mind. The most repeated sentence in my mind before I met you guys was `shut the fuck up´ in my head saying it not to others but to myself always because I do know what kind of a fucking fairy tales I can come up with in my head and there was this one that I'm trying to forget because it had got to do with reality. I cried yelled and screamed at myself I'm sorry talking to myself because of all the shit I do towards myself, how I have no concern what others think of me, because I don't care what others think of me, because others are always smarter than me and me, me, me... There was this nervous breakdown I sort of experienced or at least made myself believe. I was told it was good make 4 count breathing exercise. Well the only thing that really helped me even though I was shit pissed at myself and shit scared of surroundings, the thing was that I just perceived everything as nature, nothing more, nothing less, it was a kicker for me to get real and instead I was so consumed by fear of making something so wrong that I just let go of my life I gave in, just lost interest to live nothing mattered to me anymore and than I stopped victimizing myself in my head stopped the fucking tears since self pity is bullshit on a cosmic scale, got real and in that I gave in again...

I made my way straight to the computer to see if net is back, went on FB checked stuff that was shared, than I went playing PC game...again, no questions raised no introspection towards honesty, just give in played like half an hour. I called my neighbor friend asked him if he has time, well he asked me if I wanted to play another game with him so I took the mouse went to his place and same situation happened. We had a smoke and this time I said no to the speed so I didn't took it. So at this moment me writing this is me sobering up from all of the crap that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and be.

I will make self-forgiveness statements and commitments to all of this in the posts to come



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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Marlen » 20 Oct 2012, 22:50

Hey Ambroz
cool for writing this all out and definitely suggest you take as many posts as necessary to walk through all of the points written out here, since they seem to be the accumulation of several patterns you've lived out.

I can relate to what you've written. I probably had a several similar experiences - different types of people, different habits and points to 'seek for' but in essence the same 'I don't know what the fucking do with myself' many, many times. And I did realize how definitely, self pity - which is something I would participate in extensively - is essentially giving into a powerless-ness state wherein we believe that we are subject to this experience without being able to stop, which is actually not so, I mean, this is what we have made ourselves believe in order to remain within a comfortable position of not having to change, while in fact, it is all self-created and as such, here's the right place to BE in order to walk ourselves/ our experience in really 'breaking down' all the points until you create your own clear-understanding of when you give into the experience while knowing the inevitable outcome.

The standing up moments begin at saying no, thus, you see it is perfectly possible and you've got the tools here and feedback to continue supporting yourself.

I'd make all of this the last 'goodbye' to all the bs that you've participated in - because there's no other way to name it - and within that, make a stand to simply realize there's no point in doing all of that again wherein you end up in the same spot over and over again.

There's plenty of stuff to focus on as human beings in order to actually create a supportive platform for all to live the way that it always should have been - however for that, we have to first sort ourselves out and you're already beginning - I suggest to not be hard on yourself about it all meaning, not adding a layer of judgment upon what you've done. Once you make the decision to stand, stick to it, live it and you'll realize your ability to see what the hell 'living words' mean.

Thanks for sharing.



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Bella
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Bella » 21 Oct 2012, 10:23

There's plenty of stuff to focus on as human beings in order to actually create a supportive platform for all to live the way that it always should have been - however for that, we have to first sort ourselves out and you're already beginning - I suggest to not be hard on yourself about it all meaning, not adding a layer of judgment upon what you've done. Once you make the decision to stand, stick to it, live it and you'll realize your ability to see what the hell 'living words' mean.
Nicely put Marlen, thanks -
and thanks Ambroz for sharing!
Cool support here!



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Ambroz
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Re: Ambrož's journey to life

Postby Ambroz » 21 Oct 2012, 21:12

Day 23: Giving into...having fun with friends (part 2)

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... -with.html

This is a continuation of previous post Day 22:

http://ambrozbau.blogspot.com/2012/10/d ... art-1.html

I forgive myself to have accepted and allowed myself to give into positive energy experience when looking forward to having fun with friends.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that when I look forward to have a good time I completely ignore that which I need to be faced doing such as reading/writing/participating in a solution that is best for all and not give into the temptation of having a good time whit friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize time such as having fun with friends as a tool to get away from responsibilities and in that not facing responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that having a good time is just pursuing positive energetic experience and in that creating a negative energetic experience as in I didn't do the thing that I was suppose to be doing and that don't support only my self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize having fun with friends as my sacrifice for my friend so that he could have fun too and in this I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that the `sacrifice´ is only self deliberate manipulation of myself as in I know that I'm not making this for my friend and that I am only doing it out of self interest in order for me to get the happy feeling out of having fun.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I am only consuming myself for the benefit of getting that heightened state of being from the experience of having fun and in it not seeing that I don't do anything useful that would benefit reality that would be best for all and that I am only cause deliberate self-manipulation to postpone that what is needed to be faced doing and in that having fun I only temporarily hide myself from what needs to be done.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to stop and breathe and not give into the I want to have fun persona when someone suggests to me to go and have fun and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into `I want to have fun character´ immediately after being suggested that and not considering that I am postponing that whats needs to be done and in that I only accumulate the necessary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used `having fun with frinds´ as an excuse to get away from the negative experience of not facing the real world and eventually only postponing that what needs to be faced such as participating in the real world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I am deliberately manipulating myself into having fun and in that missing on life and expressing myself as life when giving into the experience of having fun.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that having fun with another is only a self interested intent that only supports a temporary happy character of self interest and it is not what it is best for all.

I commit myself that when I am suggested to go out and play I don't immediately fall for the temptation and instead stop and breathe and move myself accordingly to the priorities that I must face and not waste my whole day on not facing responsibilities and running away from them and utilize have fun with another as an excuse of not facing the responsibilities or priorities that I have committed myself to follow that are best for all.




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