Day 829: Time test - time conditioned
With a relation to what i was dealing with a couple of weeks ago, i really took time and think about possibilities if a certain man-kind-self-created scenario can come true. It is with relation to a fictional story how knowledge sums up to "self-destruction" when all along one would walk a path to "self-creation" and what is possible to physically manifest to happen. (spoiler alert) Man creates machines, they become self dependant and even though they don't feel the good and the bad that would drive them to make some sort of a decision or a choice and would instead have a 0 or a 1 to flip a switch to equate a choice of how to move, the machines then turn all bio matter into bio fuel until all of it ceases to exist. Story continues however where one individual makes a plan how to fix the situation, and with a help of few individuals create something else that can also create and by choice destroy if creation attempt would not be exactly wanted to continue existing.
The only thing that bothered me within all of this was time. How matter behaves under influence of the elements. How far i've been concerned i managed to pick up a few hints that stone is the most durable matter that can hold form. I was also told that water is the most stable substance, meaning it needs lots of energy to fall apart, meaning it can't release it when it fells apart it only "consumes" it for falling apart. But water doesn't hold shape that good, except if its energy drops below certain temperature. So because we are kind of artistically shape dependant, in order to have some sort of integrity we are also stuck with this manifestation of wanting to be shaped in a certain way, I mean it would almost look like a true illusion if shape of matter wouldn't condition us, despite some calling it an illusion never the less. Though i might be wrong cause i related it in a wrong way, and they meant that the illusion i live is the one in the head, and that reality still matters pretty much because that ain't a lie, the reality i mean. And also concerning the mind some things within it may be completely aligned with reality and some off by a imagination away.
Going back to topic of time conditioned matter, I also learned a few things about robots and that is that they need maintenance. They break down due usage pretty fast, and the biggest problem are parts that move and slowly grind each other in the process of movement and friction. Due to this i don't know such a scenario is possible where machines would have enough time to consume all bio-matter while they would face the rest of the elements that are also at play. Came to think of it, the solution of having millions of self reproducing "micro machines" though i think they are alive - cells, is the best because than each entity made out of matter would be self sufficient and would have the ability to repair as it would walk their path. Whole system made out of millions of little specialised systems would have a chance to walk the globe instead of having one system that would send out its creations anew each time one would break down. And considering matter being a limited resource it would then have to recycle broken down systems which means returning to the source of its creation, and that in itself it also time consuming, and i'm making a out of the blue choice here but i believe such a system would not function very well within the terms of walking many paths at the same time, cause each time it would have to start over from its source and this would mean a limited expansion, which is completely opposite of the theory of nothing where "nothing" would give the opportunity to let something expand indefinitely. Nothing can't prevent you from going forward, only something can. So in a way all this wast space at disposal wouldn't mean anything, so having many self standing systems have a better chance to use up space that has nothing in it and create something in it.
Summing it all up, i think it is impossible to make a machine that would be indefinitely functional. Especially in such although gentle world like this when we know that at certain times it is pretty much as a rough ride as it can get. I mean if we look at physical structure that would be close to everlasting it would be pyramids, and even them are slowly crumbling into dust.
Regarding all dooms day scenarios and then also considering esoteric, if it would happen i still believe something else can recreate life from scratch. I mean supposedly it started that way, but what i've heard is that there suppose to be some particular kind of ghosts, that advance their capabilities and if they have enough energy or something they are pretty much capable to manipulate matter and considering that, these poltergeists instead of kicking cans around would be able to move atoms around and crate something with them, like a new cell for instance. And then they would have to "breathe" life into it, meaning moving themselves into that cell and keep the machine alive until it breaks down, so in a way a ghost is an eternal entity that can make some matter more alive if it continuously inhabit it, until that matter holds its form. And actually it is no one else but being itself that made it alive, because it is life, per say even though it is dead and it can exist as that for ever, it can become alive until the shape that it is alive in holds its structure and the being is willing to have a ride.
Actually it is kind of weird, but once i was told from an internet friend who read lots of books on war tactics, there was much philosophy included, but what he wrote me was that samurai had a codex or dogmas or something and those contained a "lesson" that each choice must be made within the time it takes to make seven breaths. I don't know if no choice is made but i guess than it happens as it would if no choice exists. In a way it is just waiting for time to pass and experience consequence of that, it is more like just going with the flow, nothing new, everything patterned, let the autopilot do the rest, if there is one even. I guess it is kind of why forcing into something if the waiting can cause something to come to you, while knowing that there is no actual guarantee that will go such a way.
I mean that was the bottom of my philosophy. I was also told that women are like that, that they wait for things to come to them instead of them moving. Or that is how i understood it at least. I mean it is now all the time like this, cause there are many practical cases that would oppose such a theory but it is sometimes like that. I guess it has more to do with picture one has about one self, and each one can only be sure about their own.
I was kind of swept of my feet today. A really nice surprise happened to me. I still wonder how, or why, I dare think it was the past that had something to do with it. I don't dare say it, but when one is processing all the might(s) or could be(s) that can happen sometimes you can almost nail it. I mean it is not exactly as one can imagine it within the mind but pretty close never the less. What happened was that i shook hands with a particularly important individual. To be honest i was pretty shocked if i should or not, it was out of the blue and I admit i was shaking a bit inside of myself, but reaction is a reaction. I guess it had to do with all the think accumulated energy.
It also made me think about pictures i create within my mind. I mean it is like this image or "interpretation" of something or someone has a charge to it one can feel on the inside as a reaction or how some call it. As if there was no other cure for it but forgiving or breathing through it to let it slide and balance to stability, but on the bottom line i wanted to state that this shaking sensation was not the first time. I mean it happened in the past a couple of times, and each time i'd regard the moment of meeting up with beings that would have an influence on me, them being either of good or bad forge, but i mean, it is just that "what will others think of it" and that would make me shaky, as if i couldn't deny the influence of other being and how they can influence the way my path happens to me. All i could remember was that once i went almost on the other side of the Earth and same thing happened to me. I'll be frank here, i was really attracted because of all the good stuff that i'd react towards with good vibe and there were also some bad reactions, that i tried everything i had to contain them, but to no avail. I don't and do care that that might complex my walk a bit, but i think it was impossible to hide it, though it did try it intentionally. It is like this mental made up picture about another is completely complicated. Made out of good and bad energetic reactions relating to that picture. What is possibly most tangled up is that i had trouble trusting it, that is why i thought that maybe because i know it is important because it does show on the outside how my inside (my secret mind) is created by me and when it comes to relationship and interacting with others it may take you, no it takes you on a ride and depending on that the paths of two or more individuals go along, intertwine, or go separate way. And all of this completely conditioned by energy. But it can be conditioned via choice and decision to stick to it, like no matter how repulsed one gets, the will of a being can determine its standing. And it can get hard, sometimes it is better to separate and let the fate deal with it, than to keep pushing into someone and make them even hate you in the end. Like if you let hate separate two people it probably takes even longer to make paths go along one-another. And despite all that then there is this world we all share and we constantly feel consequences of each others actions, and despite knowing i liked to blame another for how my inner picture of them exist as, I still believe that it is better to shape one's own influence on everything around one, than to force the influence of another to happen in a certain way so that there won't be any bad blame but only good one. I mean i could easily argue that in some cases that is the only possible choice, but I just made myself believe (even if it possibly a lie) that i'd make myself a much more tormenting situation if i'd walk the way of forcing things to go my way and instead here and there chew and swallow some bad things, even though they were not fair. I'd just excuse them with similar cases when i'd do same to another, manipulate or force them, and look at it as a payback for my sins. Even though i deep down on the bottom believe that it is half chanced and half calculated scenario if i sum it up. I mean there are plans that succeed and plans that don't and ratio between them is a mystery to me.
I also realised that the shaking within me had nothing to do with love. I'm writing this because in the past i thought it only had to do with that. There are many more things i now realise that contribute to it. I mean when i look at the memory, when i went for it, to find my love, same thing happened, and considering today i didn't look for love. What i now believe is that importance one gives to another individual, or how powerful they are, and how interaction with such beings then also influences their influence. I think it has more to do with how our own actions then reflect consequence back to us and our interests. I mean there is interest and then there is a way to fulfil it and considering not knowing how to exactly do it, it can in crucial moments when one has little time to choose, never mind remembering how many breaths are there on disposal and the time it takes to make them, it is like with feelings and emotions same rule of practise makes perfect applies and first time around it is simply not possible to be stable facing surprised situation. Like the thought of simply realising that any individual is just as alive as i am, they have their dreams, interest, ways of doing, paths to walk on and making them special in ones head is sometimes hard to not to, but it is probably only due to being aware that they had to work to get there, especially in situations of rare caliper, you know they worked hard. I mean from perspective of competition there are many individuals for one spot, and only one gets it for a time and meeting such a person is a rare thing. Anyway the cure is to simply take them as an equal no matter how high or how low they are on the mind imagined value system. I mean i do realise it is important to respect the scale, but it is easier to face the situation if one imagines switched places, that way it at least within imagination make things more equal and face-able.
I wanted to also state this. I once heard a saying "no good deed goes unpunished". I related it with meaning (given i understood it right) as "being good makes you a poor person", but i rhymes in our language. I only understand it now, that if one is good or wants to, and gives lots of things to others they are left with nothing. What is presumed is that no one does anything for free, and exceptions within such a mind-settled-systems are left with nothing cause they give everything away. But lately what happened i went into conflict with a close to me individual when they wanted me to take something i wouldn't want to take. So the whole situation looked like them wanting to be too good to me and I even felt like i'm forced to take something i didn't want to, and i used expression of anger, well probably it was my genuine reaction when they didn't want to take my no for an answer. They than said i made them shake because of being more forceful with them than them with me, but the picture i summed up was something like: them wanting to do good by giving me something and i didn't want it and in the end i sort of made them mentally suffer my actions. So a good deed caused a a bad experience. I mean this is completely against logic yet it makes sense. So what i thought after this was that maybe if one intends to do bad and first time it doesn't work, is it possible that after a couple of times they would be thankful for that someone who would respond with good, each time more intense than the time before that the one intended to be bad would be honestly thankful for it. I mean this is like some scenario for a horror movie, but what would really happen is that one being bad towards another would end up feeling bad about themselves. I wonder if i wanted to manipulate with that, pushing myself down in the past, i still do it sometimes, but is there anything genuine in my past for making me behave that way, like i asked myself many times if i have any particular honest reason to be like that or was just more of a mental survival system of mine that would balance things for me, with me behaving that way. I mean i could just be making up a huge problem out of a little one, or is there really a huge one behind it. Like sometimes it just happens that problems become so huge for me, I simply stop caring for them, cause its like i tried to do something about it and they only grew bigger. So it is better to face the fact and let them blow their way. It is like inflating a balloon and then letting it go to release all the inflated are from the same channel it came into it.