Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

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viktor
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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 26 Aug 2017, 21:07

Day 427: Not Settling For What Works
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... hat-works/

I had a moment a couple of days ago, as I was discussing alternative methods of child rearing together with a friend of mine. At one point my friend went into resistance, and made a case as to why one of the theories I brought forth could not work, and then shared that his life worked at the moment, and hence he had no need to bring any new ways and methods of doing things into his life.

After the discussion there were a couple of points that I brought up within me and looked, which were triggered by the subject and the principles that my friend and I discussed, the first point I looked at was how easy we accept what is here currently, as EVERYTHING that there is, and as being unalterable – forever set in stone. One example is our current money system, and the ruling ideology – capitalism. Many times when I have discussed changing this system with others, the answer that frequents has been that, ‘there is nothing to do about it, its always been like that, and it will always be like that’. It is fascinating, because looking at it with logic, it IS possible to change the current money system – it is only a behavior pattern that us humans have decided upon – it is not a law of physics – and the latter I would agree – is not able to be changed.

Hence, it is not reality that is a problem, we, ourselves, are the issue. It is the same with new theories of how to rear children. It is possible to do new things, and it is likely that these new methods will be much better than what we have had in the past. However, if we do not dare to go beyond what we have always known, and if we do not push ourselves to STRIVE for what is BEST – we will not reap the benefits. Thus, one skill that I see it is essential for me to develop is the ability to see beyond what is here currently, and to challenge myself to always go for what is the BEST – and to not settle for what works.

Settling for what works, this is a trap so many of us fall into. We settle for a job we do not like, because it provides us money, and it works. We settle for a partner that is not best for us, because it works. We settle for less than what we are able to achieve, because it works. And why do we accept and allow this? For me, it is about apathy and laziness, and then of course, fear of loss. Striving/moving towards what is BEST takes effort – it takes PUSHING and WILLING – and thus it is not something that comes through by itself. And, obviously, when striving for the BEST to manifest, what is here currently, and what works, must go. And if we fear losing what we already have, then it will be problematic to wholly GO for it.

Thus, these were a couple of realizations that I had as I looked upon the discussion I had with my friend. The tendency to accept what is here as the truth, because… it is here – and the tendency to accept what works, because… I fear really going for it, that which I see and know is BEST.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for what works, to settle for what I have done in the past, and that gives reasonable results, instead of going for it, and not settling for anything less than what is BEST, than what is a honest reflection of my true and full potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for anything less than my full potential, and then do the same with this world, to settle for less than what this world, and humanity, has the capability to become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy and apathetic, and not push, will myself, move towards what is BEST – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that achieving what is best is a matter of moving through my resistances, moving through my laziness, moving through my apathy, and wholeheartedly going for it, and not settling for anything less than that which is BEST

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question my current reality, because it is my current reality, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave the point of directing, and impacting reality, up to others, that I feel and believe are more competent, and more able to direct things, and then as well, because my life works, it is okay – instead of pushing and willing myself to make my life the BEST it can be – and influencing, impacting, pushing, to make the lives of others the BEST that they can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for anything less than what is the BEST

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to move past my resistances and look at new ways of doing things, new information, new perspectives, to be willing to challenge and let go of my idea and picture of reality, and move myself within myself, to embrace the new, to be open to the new, so that I can align and change my life, myself, according to what is BEST – and hence I commit myself to try all things – to consider all things – to look at all things – and to keep what is best

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into a reaction of resistance, fear, laziness or apathy, when I stand before something new, whatever it might be, or when I see that what is in my reality only works, and that there must be a better way of doing things, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that through willing, pushing and moving myself to constantly empower myself, empower others, to expand, to LIVE, to stimulate myself and others, to really make life AWESOME, that is how I get to what is BEST – through being open to new information, through being open to let go of the old and embrace the new – that is how I get to what is BEST – and what is BEST that is what I want in my life – not only what works – and thus I commit myself to will myself to strive, move, and push towards what is BEST – and will myself through any resistance or fear – to consider new information – new perspectives – to be open to it all – and willing to move and create myself – and change my reality and myself – from what works – to what is BEST



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viktor
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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 02 Sep 2017, 14:22

Day 428: Changing Competition
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... mpetition/

I have now been back at work for a couple of weeks, and one point that has opened up, which has not been present during my vacation, is competition. I have noticed that I compete with my colleagues in many respects, and most of the the time I am competing for attention/recognition/praise from a superior.

This week I have actively challenged my tendency of becoming fearful/anxious/judgmental when I receive criticism by my superiors at work. Usually, I would react in fear, stress or anxiety, and then go into a judgment, and then try to improve that particular aspect of my work so as to not repeat the same mistake again. The way I have challenged this behavior is to, instead of looking at how to change/improve my professional skills to avoid criticism, I look at and push myself to find the core problem and issue within me that is responsible for me making that mistake in the first place.

An example would be how I made a mistake when writing a report at work. My superior came into my room and showed me that I had missed some information. I wanted to go into anxiety and self-judgment, however I stopped myself and instead decided to look at the core issue. What I found was that, at times, I will have this fine feeling/experience that I have missed something, that something is ‘off’, something is not as it should be. The mistake I have done in those moments is that I have brushed that feeling over by saying to myself: ‘No, no, I have done the necessary work, let’s just get done with this now’. Hence, in-fact forcing myself to move forward, when there is a part of me signalling that I am not completely finished. Hence, I made the commitment to start practicing listening to this fine part of myself that comes through at times, to take it seriously, and put more effort and time into investigating and proof-reading, when I ‘suspect’ that something is not as it should be.

What I could also see, as a core problem, was that I at times, too fast throw myself at a conclusion, because I want to get done with it, and because of that, I make unnecessary mistakes, when I could have avoided that mistake through a bit more of research, consideration and deliberation – in essence – CALMING myself down and daring to MOVE and DIRECT myself as SLOW as is needed. There is no meaning or sense in rushing something. However, it takes a commitment, it takes breathing, it takes being steady and stable, to move slowly and comfortably, to dare to use my time and invest it into the various projects in my life, and not haste, believing that I will be able to ‘do more’ if I haste.

Thus, instead of competing, I bring it back to myself. Instead of trying to beat others, I place my focus on challenging myself, and ‘beating’ myself – doing better than what I did in the past – and pushing myself to continuously create myself, and move forward, regardless of what it is that I am doing – there is always room for expansion and momentum. And instead of trying to achieve respect and attention from a superior – I make sure that I give these things to myself – earning my own respect through the way I live – and giving myself attention through literally – paying attention to myself and what I am going through.



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viktor
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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 07 Sep 2017, 06:25

Day 429: Justice and Fairness = Limitation
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... imitation/

Last week I faced a situation at work where I had to handle a disagreement between two people. Subtly, however noticeably, I sided with one of them, because I felt/thought that they stood on a moral high ground. I decided to intervene and support them to find common ground and a solution. And here is where things go interesting. Because I was in a slight reaction of judgment towards one of the participants, I looked at potential solutions/ways to deal with the situation in a limited, one dimensional way. I wanted a fair solution, however, in only considering what was fair, I missed many other values and parameters that must be taken into account to find the BEST solution.

For example, the solution I saw within myself was the one of the persons (the one I judged) backed down from his position and agreed to a proposition, slightly different from what he wanted. And my inner motive for wanting this solution was that I thought it to be fair and right. However, by becoming focused on this one solution, I missed other values/dimensions, ways to solve the problem, that would have been better for both parties. Even though my solution helped one of the participants to ‘get his will through’, afterwards, I could see that, this was not necessarily the BEST way – and I could see, that it was not BEST for everyone to be just and fair.

And this is the point I want to get at: Fairness and Justice, even though they might seem to be ideals to strive towards, they are also one sided, impractical and by using these ideals to make decisions, we only take into account a few points out of the many, many dimensions that exist in physical reality, which must considered if we want to make good and effective decisions. And in-fact, even if I want to claim that I am impartially fair and just, at the core, there is a judgment, there is a reaction, there is a pattern that I have not yet dealt with that I require to look at.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify me becoming emotional and judgmental with thinking that I am being fair and just, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I am emotional, and focused on what I feel is fair and just, then I am missing common sense, and I am not seeing the moment for what it is, I am not seeing ALL the parameters and dimensions of the point, and hence I am limiting myself from moving forward and bringing through and creating the BEST possible solutions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that being emotional is never a strength, even though I might claim that I am being just and fair, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not keep my cool, keep my stability, regardless of how unjust or unfair I feel that a situation is, and regardless of how much I want to go into and deal with the situation through becoming emotional, because emotions never help, they cloud my clarity, and at the end of the day, I create more problems for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered and strong when I access emotions, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access emotions because I believe that it is right to do so, because I believe that the situation needs it, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘force it’ – to try to scream, yell, and force myself to get power and control over a situation – instead of remaining with and as breath – remaining with and as stability – from which I can see the situation with clarity – from where I can make decisions that are best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that real strength, real power, real justice, and real fairness is to remain stable – and then to act according to what is best for all – taking into account ALL the points that are here – and when I stand with and as stability – I have the power and ability to consider ALL points – because then I am not limited and secluded into an emotional context where I am prejudiced and bound to move a certain direction because it is what I believe and feel to be right – however not necessarily what is the BEST

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself judging, taking sides, or becoming emotional, when I am participating in a discussion, part of a conflict, or seeing others in a conflict, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I can only see with clarity, and can only establish and see ahead, what is common sense, and what is best for all, when I am stable, when I am grounded, when I am impartial, when I stand here able to view all vantage points – and hence I commit myself to stand impartial – to stand stable – to stand within and as my human physical body and see both parties – see EVERYONE involved without judgment or emotions – and thus I commit myself to push myself to select and go for the solution that is BEST for EVERYONE



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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 09 Sep 2017, 06:47

Day 430: What is Success?
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... s-success/

When I look at what success means to me at the moment, I am able to see that it is something I define through comparison. To me currently, success is relative, and it is based upon what others think are successful, and then, through comparing myself to where others are, I accordingly position myself on the ‘success’ thermometer. However, I find that this definition is problematic, because by defining success in relation to others, I miss myself.

Hence, if I would slow myself down, and look at what success if for myself, I see that success is something very personal. What is success for me, might not be success for another – because success – has to do with my intent – and what I want to create and build in my life. Thus, in-fact, I can never become successful if I only keep striving towards that which I believe others see as being successful, as I have not even then, actually defined for myself, what is success?

Hence, if I bring the point back to myself, and look at success, what does this word entail to me?

The way I see success, it implies, actually walking through a difficulty/challenge, or walking a path, a process of creation, where I have a set goal and direction, and success, would be the point where I am actually able to reach this point. Practically speaking, success to me would mean walking this process of birthing life from the physical, diligently, consistently and really change myself. It would mean that I follow my inner voice and walk a life that is ME – and not a life where I try to be what everyone else wants to be. Further, success would be a me, doing something with my life that can contribute and support the lives of others, and where I hence, support the growth of success in a crowd of people. Further, a life filled with animals, nature and movement, that would be success to me – a life that I have created for myself because I have seen that it is best for me – I have seen that it is what I genuinely want – that is success to me.

What everyone else is doing is immaterial, and if there is a movement of jealousy or comparison within me, it is indicating that I am still not clear on what success is to me! Then I am still clouded, and really, without my own principle and direction. And that is also interesting, that when my head turns, and the comparisons start to emerge, it is showing me that I have not yet decided, I have not yet committed, I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself, and actually within that, commited to a direction that I want for myself. Thus, a part of success has to do with self-respect, self-awareness, and self-value – because unless I see value in myself and what I want for me – how can I ever make the decision to create and live a life for myself – that I want for and as myself – as successful?

Thus, I will sit down for myself and write out what is success for me more clearly – so that I make sure – that when I walk and live the word success – it is a word that I create and live for and as myself – and not something I do to be like everyone else.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success in separation from myself, to see success, and strive for success, through wanting to do what everyone else defines and sees as successful – instead of asking myself – and looking within myself – what I want to do with my life – what I want to create – what is success for me? What does it mean to achieve for me? What does it mean to make something meaningful and great out of myself and my life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure success according to how I perceive others see and define success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for example – strive to have the perfect career – because everyone else seems to value that – strive to achieve and have the perfect home – because everyone else seems to value that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself – to forget about myself – to not look within myself – because I am too busy worrying – fearing – creating experiences about what others are or are not doing with themselves and their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a successful life, in the eyes of others, instead of wanting a successful life for and as myself – and thus I see, realize and understand how important it is for me to define – what is success? What does it mean to be successful for ME? How can I achieve and create success in my life in a way that is BEST for me and thus BEST for ALL?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure myself through the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, and be intimate with myself, and embrace the point within me of creating a life and a future that is in alignment with what is best for me and not how I believe everyone else wants to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and want to achieve that I perceive others want to achieve, so that I can feel that in comparison with others, I am better than them, and my life is better than theirs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what constitutes a excellent and enjoyable life for me? What constitutes success for me? What does it mean for me to live life fully? And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and bring the word SUCCESS back to and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others, or see myself trying to investigate/figure out what to do, through looking at what others are doing, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not be able to live success, to experience success and have success unless I redefine and create success for and as myself, through asking myself, what is success in-fact, and thus, not trying to achieve and create success in a state of competition and fear – and hence I commit myself to investigate and create success in my life and for myself and do it as an expression of myself – as something that is genuine and real – and that I do because I see it is best – not something I do because I fear I will miss out otherwise



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viktor
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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 10 Sep 2017, 20:23

Day 431: Success Continued – Bringing In Others
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... in-others/

After writing on the subject of success, and after reading a couple of blogs online on the subject, I have come to see that generally speaking, we tend to exclude one very important aspect/dimension in our definitions of the word SUCCESS – and that is – OTHERS/EXISTENCE.

Because, success is obviously not real if our definition of success is somehow excluding or even impeding on the lives and freedoms of others. An example would be SUCCESS in relation to money. If our definition of success in relation to money implies that we are going to earn a lot more money than another, have the nicest things, and a super luxurious house, with cleaners, nannies, personal drivers, etc – have we then considered how our definition of success impacts earth, the environment, others, and how, for us to be filthy rich, another must be filthy poor and ready to sell their time and energy to us so that they can survive? Hence, success, in its absolute sense, must include EVERYONE and it must include EQUALITY. There cannot be real success, unless it is a success for everyone.

It is easy to forget that we live in this world TOGETHER with others, and that our lives, our values, our actions, our thoughts, our presence, it impacts, it resonates, it creates, it ripples – nobody is an island – and hence – when everyone is successful – we are successful. Thus, it makes no sense to separate success and see it is something that can only be achieved on a individual basis. And seen this way, the question that opens up is the following, but are we even able to compete about who is the must successful? If real success is about the well-being, growth and expansion of ALL, then can any one singular person be successful while the rest is not? At least in the sense of material wealth and growth, that is not possible to be attained alone.

Real success entails not only progress and accomplishment for myself, but for everyone. Hence the importance of sharing myself, and making sure that my process of creating success does not become only about myself, but something that I push and walk into the world as well – through giving as I would like to receive – through seeing where I am able to place myself, where I am able to make a difference, and then doing that which is needed for success to manifest in its absolute sense.



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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 14 Sep 2017, 05:56

Day 432: Success, It Is About Starting
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -starting/

Yesterday I read a great blog on the topic of success called A New Dimension of SUCCESS, in which a cool definition of success was brought forth:

"Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something"

This definition of success does not target material wealth, the result, rather it is about ACTING – and I find that empowering. I have many times feared walking into new ventures and directions, because I suspected I might not be able to make them successful and worth my effort, and due to this I have stopped myself from having new experiences. And I have also seen how I evaluate past projects on the basis of how much wealth I was able to produce, or time I was able to save, or how much attention I received from others, or how close to my initial goal that I came. The problem with evaluating my projects through such quantitative measurements is that I will miss MYSELF within all of them, and miss that, regardless of the outcome, I actually walked a process, I did something, and if I look closely, I will see that I learned something as well.

Defining success as the actual decision to DO something, that supports growth and movement, it supports courage and direction, it supports creativity and inventiveness – it is a EXPANSIVE definition – where the goal is the PROCESS, the JOURNEY, the DECISION, and not the actual outcome in itself.

However, there is something missing from the definition, and that is the point of OTHERS/EXISTENCE. Because, there is more to this life than myself, and real success is only real when everyone benefits. The principle of what is best for all is a essential component in success, for success to be substantial and worthwhile.

Thus – I would like to change the definition above to the following:

Success is the ACT of moving myself to accomplish a goal/direction/project that benefits/supports life in some way, and it is also my EXPERIENCE of the creation process, and it is what I LEARNED through doing it

With this redefinition of success, what is accentuated is the point of making sure that my direction/project/goal actually brings through some sort of value/support in life – if what I do is harmful/self-interested only based on what I want with no regard for another – its not SUCCESS. Further, with this redefinition, the process of creation is placed in the limelight – what is important thus is the MOVEMENT – to actually do something – to not let it remain on a idea level. Ideas/projects/potentials – they are meant to be EXPLORED and MOVED. Hence – if there is an idea – and I want to bring it through – then next point is to PLAN and then DO – it is as simple as that. And – regardless of the outcome – there will be things I have learned, an experience that I can take with me – and that is SUCCESS as well.



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viktor
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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 16 Sep 2017, 20:37

Day 433: Chasing Self vs. Self-Creation
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -creation/

I listened to this interview a couple of days ago: Chasing Self vs Self Creation – Atlanteans – Part 476 – and it was very enlightening. Especially one point opened up within me, and that is making work/career something more than just being about money.

In the interview it is among other things explained that we tend to make work/career all about money. We go to work for the money, we remain in that bubble throughout the day, ‘working for money’ – and then – we eventually get home and feel as if we have ‘wasted’ our entire day because it has just been about money. However, it is suggested to make work something more – not only about money – but to utilize the office, the job, to grow and expand living skills, expressions, applications, to not accept and allow work to be only about survival.

I myself recently acquired my degree, and I have only been working full time now for about two years. However, I have already seen how work have weighed down upon me, become a problem, something that I am ‘forced to do’ and that my only escape are the weekends and the occasional vacation. And I see that this is a big problem for many. It is not uncommon for people to feel depressed, sad, bored, unsatisfied with their work and having to spend time in the office. Hence, changing who we are in relation to work, that will have a big effect in our lives, because working, that is something we will spend most of our time on. Hence, it makes sense that we should make work something supportive, something that assists us to grow, expand, and become MORE.

How am I then able to change my relationship to work so that it becomes a time where I can grow/expand/accumulate my process of self-creation?

What I see is that I can use my work to practice planning, structuring and to make sure that I follow through on my commitments. I can practice precision, specificity and attention to detail, by for example, making sure that I am focused and HERE in what I am doing. I can push myself to interact, to develop my social skills and learn to communicate clearly and effectively. I can develop movement, direction, leadership and decisiveness. I can practice placing myself in the shoes of others and learn to see the world their way, hence, live empathy, understanding and compassion. And I can investigate being fearless, having self-confidence and self-trust.

My work offers a multitude of opportunities – though I have to be HERE to see them. And I must make sure that it does not become about CHASING other than what is here in my life at the moment. It is never about something more, living life effectively is about creating and moving forward with what is already HERE. Thus, instead of looking forward to what is next, my main practice should be to ask myself: ‘Okay, what can I create with what is already here? How can I use the resources at my disposal to expand and live my full potential?’. And really, is chasing something more, not but an excuse to actually LIVE here fully?



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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 20 Sep 2017, 20:12

Day 434: How to Create Better Solutions
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... solutions/

When faced with a problem, an issue, a difficulty, a tendency that I have noticed within myself, is that in the effort to correct/change this point, I will use positive, strong and abstract words. An example would be the following: I see that I tend to get angry at my partner for not picking up the dishtowel and placing it where I think it should be. I decide to correct this point and create the following correction: “I will love my partner and respect her even though she wants to do things differently in the kitchen”. Hence, a positive, yet, vague and abstract sentence. Now, what I have come to realize, is that this is a problem.

What is problematic with these types of corrections is that they do not offer a concrete, direct and immediate solution – there is not a set guideline for what to do when the pattern arise – and because of that it is very easy to fall back into old behaviors. Because what does it really mean to ‘love’ my partner in this context? Should I remain quiet? Should I go and give my partner a kiss? Should I look at my partner lovingly and then proceed to simply change the positioning of the dishtowel myself? And what does it mean to respect that my partner wants to do things differently in the kitchen in this particular situation? Should I then respect it, however, still be angry about it?

Vague words creates uncertainty and indecisiveness in the moment of correction, because we do not have a clear image/vision of what we are going to create. In the world system, this mistake can be found in my places. One example is human rights. They do sound lovely; we should respect everyone, and each person is born free and with the same rights as everyone else. Though in practical terms, what do these beautiful words mean? Should everyone then have the same salary? What does it really mean? And because there is no clear and precise structure placed through the words – what happens is… nothing. Since the implementation of Human Rights, next to nothing has happened – and partially – that is because there has not been a structural and specifically defined way forward.

What is important to think about when creating a correction/solution for oneself?

There are a few guidelines that I use when I define a solution for myself – and these I have found to consistently support me to define effective and empowering corrections. Firstly, I make sure that the correction is GROUNDED, and with that I mean that the solution is a physical or mental movement that can be easily understood and acted upon. An example would be, to take a deep breath. That is simple, easy to understand and practical solution. I know how to take a deep breath every day.

Secondly, I make the solution EASY. There is no point in designing/imagining a long and complex set of movements or words that I am to speak, because later in the day, I will forget it anyway. Hence, I have realized that I need something that sticks. I need a catchy solution, a bit like a song that sticks on my brain. One solution I had, when I practiced structure and following through on plans, was to each time I noticed that I wanted to veer and digress from what I was doing, to say: ‘No, focus’ – and then I turned my attention back to the project I was doing.

Thirdly, I push myself to have the solution be SPECIFIC. The solution should be complete and finished, precise, in what I am supposed to do, when and how – when the moment comes and the correction must be applied – there should not be anything more to consider – but simply to apply.

Thus, GROUNDED, EASY and SPECIFIC, these are three guidelines I use when creating and defining solutions for myself, and they have assisted and supported me a lot in defining supportive ways for me to live and correct inefficient living patterns.



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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 23 Sep 2017, 20:51

Day 435: Changing The Small Yet Significant Points
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... nt-points/

When I look at what change, revolution, momentum and creation means to me, I see that I have given these words extensive, BIG definitions. For change to be important, it has to be BIG, unless it is a massive movement in the right direction, it means nothing – apparently. I have realized that this way of thinking has many times caused me to glance over what is HERE, taking the opportunities in my life for granted, and not effectively using the opportunities in my life to CHANGE.

The fascinating thing is that change many times is impossible in the big, that is, unless the small has been changed first. Because the big is constituted by the small. Our money system for example is constituted by many, many small/individual human beings, all with their own lives, and all contributing in some way or another to our current way of handling money. Thus, to try and change the big, which in this case would be the money system, and expect it to work, without as well having changed the small, the individual human beings relationship to money, that is not possible. And in my personal life, the same reasoning can be applied. If I want to really contribute to a life that is best on a big, global scale, then I must first walk it in the small. Can I even hope to make a difference in the big, which without a doubt will pose more of a challenge, if I have not even changed the small for myself? No – not possible.

This week I have pushed myself to become aware of the small points in my life and experience of myself that I want to change. It is things like changing how I wake up in the morning, how I walk to work, how I dress for work, how I am with my daughter when changing her diapers, how I am with myself. It is things like how I engage and participate at work, at home, and with friends and family. Do I really move myself, engage and flow as much as I could do, or is there an unexplored potential to be found?

When change is brought back to the small, it is easier to see what points there are that needs direction. If I look at only the big, out there, change becomes cumbersome, uncertain, because, what to change? Where to focus? Where to go? It is so big, where should I direct my attention? While, when I bring my attention back to the small, it is clear what must be changed – because it is right here in front of me – it is easy to see what I can do for myself that would make my life and that are part of my life a whole lot better. And then, what is missed when the focus gets placed on changing the big, is how, when I become and feel better, this will influence the people that I am in contact with in my life.

The small, the apparently insignificant, the points that are taken for granted, that is where change happens – and that is where I have a direct access to self-change. It is in the small moments where I am able to build and work towards creating the big moments, and hence, it is important to remember, that anything big, is made up out small parts.

The solution for myself is the following: When I notice that I am judging my environment/where or with whom I am with – because I feel as if it does not offer the opportunity for change that I want – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to focus on creating and building/moving change in the small and the apparently insignificant – I commit myself to be attentive to all parts in my life – to be attentive and look at the small that I want to change – to recognize these parts and to push myself to change them – and thus – accumulate a change in the big through committing to and changing in the small.



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viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 27 Sep 2017, 21:06

Day 436: Too Easy-Going?
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Is it possible to be too easy going? Too relaxed? To comfortable?

Throughout most of my life, I have had an easy time to remain calm. When others would go into stress or anxiety, I would usually remain placid. It has not been a skill/talent that I have actively developed, it has instead been with me from birth – even as a baby I was calm and content. And, it is clear that this calm has been a strength many times. However, it has also become a weakness.

I have realized that being calm and content, for me, it lead to creating apathy – which I would define as the characteristic of accepting what is here because it works – and not putting in the effort to establish and create what would be BEST for me instead. Another consequence was that, because I was calm and felt relatively at ease regardless of the situation, I did not develop the skill of actively engaging with my reality – asking HOW I want this situation to play out – WHAT would be BEST? Hence – I entrenched myself into a observer personality – where I just looked at what was going on instead of ACTING.

Thus, to answer my initial question, YES it is possible to be too calm. If calmness become the modus operandi, a constant, and further, a hiding place, to not have to put in the effort to put myself out there, to create, to actively engage, to actively participate and be a part of molding/creating/shaping my life/reality. Obviously, it is not being calm in itself that is the problem, what I see, is that being calm becomes a problem when I rely on this mode of being to bring myself through any and all situations – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – that sometimes – other skills/expressions but calm are required to handle life.

Thus, something that I want to create in myself is to be more active and engaged in my life – and one solution that I have seen is the following: When I am in the midst of a situation, where I notice that I am going into observer mode, collapsing into a state of being ‘too calm’, that I take a breath, and ask myself, ‘What is that I want to create in this situation? What direction/movement would be BEST for me?’ – that I hence, as a first step – establish for myself what it is that I want – so that do not flow through the moment as an observer, indifferent to what is going on around me.

And this is a way of approaching situations that I can start to practice equally in moments when I am not retracting myself into an observer mode. For example, when I get to work in the morning, and I am about to begin my day, I see that it would be supportive for me to stop for a moment, to take a breath, and to ask myself how and where I want to go. This will assist and support me to develop drive and precision when it comes to actually creating/building the life for myself/others that I see is BEST.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in a state of being too calm – where I accept and allow my environment and my life to go without direction – and be less than best – because I am comfortable and at ease with things being half way best – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push and practice this voice within me of asking WHAT IS BEST? And then to motivate myself to pursue what is best – to not settle for that which works, that which is okay, that which is reasonable, but to in all parts of my life pursue and move towards that which is the best direction and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow what is not best, because it works, instead of pushing towards and pursuing that which is best – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that dissatisfaction, feeling discontent, can be supportive emotions – that assist and support me to break out of my comfort zones and to transform my comfort zones into zones that are best for me and others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put in the effort and will to make each part and aspect of my life, my own, in the sense that I am actively involved in that part of my life, to create and make out of it, the best that it can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in the ‘I am comfortable’ quagmire – where I stop pursuing the best – and creating myself according to what I know is my potential – because my life is easy and I do not feel like changing anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too easy going, too comfortable and too flexible with my life, to the extent where I accept and allow myself to become satisfied and at ease with all kinds of unsupportive arrangements, that are not the best, but that works for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to take a stand, and to make a decision as to what I will accept and allow, and what I will not accept and allow, to develop a relationship with my life, in the sense that I pursue and push for what I know is best – and do not settle only for what works and what is comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what is BEST for me and my life, and the life of others, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for what is comfortable, instead of pushing for what is best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not work to change that which I am not satisfied with, to not push and will myself to make the best out of my life, and to not accept things as is, only because I am not bothered by them

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself accepting my life to be as is, because I am not bothered by it, even though I know it is not for the best, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I must push myself to make decisions for myself as to what I will accept and allow, and what I will not accept and allow, that it is not enough for things to just be comfortable, thing is, that they should be BEST – and thus I commit myself to push and will myself to bring through what is BEST in each and every circumstance – and not settle for that which works




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