Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Place your Blogs Here
User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 27 May 2013, 21:04

Day 25: Test-anxiety – My Plan is Falling Apart! (Part 14)
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/05/day-25 ... t-part-14/

Today I got up to study as I usually do around eight a o’clock in the morning – and each day I sit until about four, five, and sometimes six o’clock at the night – it’s around that time when I am able to feel that – “study time is now over”.

I tend to be strict with myself in keeping these times – and in my head I’ve this plan set up – that I go up in the morning, I study for this many hours, and then I am free to go and do something else. Today something came up that in a moment broke my plan – and suddenly I required changing my plans, and spending time to move, and direct some other points that unexpectedly had emerged.

When this happened I went into a state of fear – that was my first reaction – and I had a thought come up: “I will loose several hours of study time!” – and after that thought came some images, and imaginations of how I saw myself fail at the exam – not being able to answer a single question because I didn’t study for those two extra hours.

After that initial reaction of fear came a reaction of anger, and frustration – wherein I began to blame my external reality as not being reliable, and trustworthy – and not giving me space to concentrate, and do my things.

I found both these reactions to be fascinating, as they show a lot to me about myself – and how I exist within myself in relation to my studies without even noticing. Firstly – what I am able to see in relation to the fear reaction is that the event in itself didn’t cause the fear, as the fear was already here and existent in my way to approach my studies, and in the way I think about my studies – and in a way I am able to see that they way I think about my studies, and the way I approach my studies is a mechanism that I utilize in order to suppress fear.

The origin fear is then to fail with my studies, and to become a miserable average (to not win) – and also fearing that I will become disappointed with myself and feel that I didn’t give enough, and walk sufficiently – and exert sufficient amount of effort to succeed in my studies – and this is fears that I suppress through studying for long hours. Though, it’s not about me studying for long hours really – it’s about WHO I AM within studying for long hours – and the presence within which I am studying – and that presence I will call out, and name as the hectic-stress-presence – wherein there is a specific tinge of intensity, and fast-paced-movement in my physical body movements – and as to describe it literally – I’d say it’s like I am struggling to reach the finish line, and win – and get there (where really?) before everyone else – and as such I am in a fight, and struggle against time – and time is my great nemesis that I am trying to defeat so that I won’t end up loosing.

Thus – it’s not strange that when suddenly my plan had to be changed – and I’d to abandon this struggle with time, and in essence give up my struggle, and competition against time – I went into fear – and then I went into blame thinking that another had caused me to loose against time.

Within this I see that it’s not about slowing down as to how fast I move – and it’s not about studying for less hours – it’s about changing my expression within all of this to be stable, and consistent – so that I am in a war against time – but that I am simply moving myself effectively here in every moment of breath – being HERE – stable in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to struggle, and fight against time – and within this exist in a constant state of fear, and nervous of missing out on time – and loosing time – and not having enough time – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that in existing in this state of fear of loosing time – what I am creating for myself is lack of time – which makes sense – because when I exist and walk in fear – I am not here in time in actuality – but I am in my mind – not being here – and walking with space and time – one and equal – as breathing one breath in, and then one breath out – and then repeating the process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to win over time – and to believe that if I fight sufficiently, and if I struggle enough, and if I dedicate my life towards this fight, and struggle, as trying to defeat, and conquer time – that I will then be able to win – and save time – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that – it’s not about saving time – because that is impossible – it’s about walking one and equal with time and space here – standing in every moment here – as one breath – as one moment in time – in every moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a character of stress, and fear when I study – and I am able to see this character in motion through me constantly looking at the clock, and taking my time so to speak – looking at how much, or how little time I have left – and looking at how fast, or how slow I’ll have to move myself in order to save my time – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that in a way – this fight against time can only exist when I have expectations on myself as to what I am able to do in the time I have at my disposal – and as such I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not have any expectations upon myself – and to within this walk, and stand within and as oneness and equality with time – as simply walking here – and doing that which I am able to do and have time to do in this breath here that is at my disposal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character of fast-paced-stress-movement – wherein I am not moving fast as a physical expression of me – but I am moving fast as stress – as fearing to loose time – as fearing for my survival – as fearing that unless I move myself in this stress, and fear – then I will loose time and this might as such cause me not to survive – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted, and allowed myself to BREATH – and to let go of this fear of survival – in seeing that in seeking to survive – I am not living – because I am seeking for something out there – and trying to keep it – instead of having it here in every breath as me living here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it habitual pattern to make study-sessions be really uncomfortable, worrisome, and arduous – simply because I will push myself, and challenge myself – beyond my limitations – but in a forceful and harmful way – because I exist in this stress-character – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself chill-out – to breath and smell the roses – and to realize that I don’t have to utilize and live this stress character in order to get things done – and in order to care for and take care of my responsibilities here – I mean – it’s something that I am able to do in a breath here – calmly – and easily – with and as my human physical body – in the stability of physical expression here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I am not able to do everything that I’ve created in my expectations that I should be able to do with my time – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding – that I have planned to much – and that I’ve expectations of myself that haven’t been in alignment with actual time – and actual physical movement here – which then obviously is a problem – because I become in conflict with the actual physical – and go into fear – instead of realizing that I only have one breath in every moment – and I am only able to do as much as I am able to do in this one breath here

When and as I see that I go into the stressful character – wherein I am fighting for my survival – fighting against time – fighting to get as much done as possible to secure my money, and my survival – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t need this character – and this experience to be able to care for myself in this life – and make sure that I remain stable financially in this life – as all that I need, and require is me as self-movement directing myself in every breath – thus I commit myself to BREATH – and to let go – and to make my moment of studying to be pleasurable – and fun – reading my books – taking the time that I require, and need – and not judge myself if I don’t happen to read everything, or I miss some points

I commit myself to not anymore fight against time, and to not anymore try to save time – and make sure that I don’t loose time – but I instead remain with myself here IN TIME in fact – walking with and as time as each breath here – being fully aware here – then I don’t require to save time – because I live within and as the actual movement of time here

When and as I see I go into worrisome thoughts of me thinking that I am loosing time, and that I am not utilizing time effectively, and that I am not going to become as successful in this world because I am not able to handle time as effectively as I want to do – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – time is only lost when I am not HERE – because when I am not here I am in my mind in my mind there is no time – it’s timeless – simply because there is no reference, and no relationship existent in the mind to this physical reality and the movement of it – which is time; as such I commit myself to get myself out of my mind and back into the physical – seeing that being aware and fully here in a breath – that is me living time – and within doing that I am not able to loose time



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 29 May 2013, 21:20

Day 26: Test-anxiety – The Results Are Back! (Part 15)
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/05/day-26 ... k-part-15/

Continuing with test anxiety. Today I got back some results on a paper that I’d written, and I reacted in anxiety, fear, and nervousness – and as I opened the document to look at my results my heart began to race, and I felt that the blood in my body was pumping around much faster – revealing that I was within that moment possessed in fear.

What I realized was that this fear experience didn’t happen in that moment – it’s an outflow of many moments, many thoughts, and my fantasies – that I’ve then accumulated in my mind – and then this dammed energy comes up in one moment as they are triggered by an event. Thus – what I am going to do here in this blog-post is to locate exactly what I’ve thought, and fantasized about in order bring about this particular fear.

Firstly – I see that I’ve for some days excitedly been awaiting the results, and I’ve acted this point out through going unto the web each day, and looking if the results had arrived – and this was actually one of my first thoughts as I wake up this day – to go and check my student-login and find out if the results had arrived – thus what I am able to see is that this particular pattern presents a hope, and a desire – which means that I desired a good result – and due to this I also created the polarity opposite of desire which is fear.

In looking at what desire that lies behind my reaction – I am able to see that it’s not really a desire for a better life, it’s not a desire for material possessions as in getting a good job later, due to having received very good grades in school – the desire is instead in relation to my name, my standing, and my idea of myself as who I am in this world – and I’ve defined myself to be a “intelligent person” – and thus my desire is to keep, and retain this idea of myself – and to be able to feel, and define myself as superior around other people because I’ve received “the best grade”.

Thus – I find it interesting – that the fear I experience is not even a fear that is in relation to MY LIFE so to speak – meaning – that the fear is really about what I’d like others to feel, and think about me – which is fucked up – as it implies that I am living, studying, and breathing to have others see me as I’d like them to see me – instead of me living my life for myself and not worrying about what others might, or might not think about me.

In a way – me getting a good grade on my studies is a way to suppress inferiority, and a state of social angst around people – because when I get a good grade I am able to take that point, define myself as it, and then feel slightly more comfortable with myself – because apparently this point of success make me become slightly more worthy than I was before.

Thus – the key points as living solutions is to live for myself – meaning – to make decisions without worrying what others are going to think about me – and to also – accept myself – and stop looking for others to accept, validate, and recognize myself – thus giving what I desire to myself and not anymore searching for it out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a intelligent, and intellectual human being, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take pride in, and feel superior to others – due to me feeling that I am more intellectual than others – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this definition, and idea of myself to survive in this world – to survive in social interactions – and to assert myself in fear that if I stand as myself – and simply breath – I will loose myself and not survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize an idea of myself – as me being effective, and good in school – in order to create a definition of myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling to this definition, and idea of myself – and to think that this definition is who I am – and that I must at any cost uphold this definition – because apparently – if I do not uphold this definition of myself – I will cease to exist – and I will not anymore be of any use in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self-definitions are limited – and that self-definitions are based in fear – the fear of being limitless and without any form of self-created jail – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become comfortable, and take a liking to my self-created jail – as the definition of myself – that I am good in school, that I am intelligent, and that I am intellectual – thinking that this idea, and definition of myself protects in my world – and makes me safe – instead of accepting, and allowing myself to see – realize, and understand – that this definition isn’t real – but merely some memories that I’ve put together within myself – and used to designed a Frankenstein – a dead beingness put together with dead memories – thinking that this is who I am – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without confirming this idea of myself as being good in school, effective, and intellectual – that I will not anymore be able to live, and exist in this world – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself so completely that I believe that I need a thought – and a memory to exist – not realizing that I have the proof here in every breath that I don’t require a thought – and that I don’t require a memory to live, and to express myself – but that what I require is ME to be HERE with me and not lost in my mind and all crap that comes up in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with and as fear, and anxiety of loosing my idea of myself as being something special – which is really what it’s all about – that I want to be special, and that I use my education as a way to fuel this idea of myself, and definition of myself that I am special – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted, and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that desiring to be special – and thinking that I am special – is a jail that I’ve designed for myself – a trap – and a complete stop – wherein I am not anymore allowing myself to expand, and to move myself out from a state of fear – and into my flesh – and into real physical – breath by breath living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to let go of my self-definition of myself as having a special purpose in this life – and of the definition of myself as being a winner – and as being something more than average – because I see that this very definition of me is limitation – and even though it feels good to think that I am special, and a winner – what hides behind everything is fear – is the fear of being looked at by others as useless, and worthless – and as less than – and thus the search for specialness – reveals to me that I’ve not yet accepted myself – and decided to love myself regardless of where I am in this world – or who I am in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understanding that searching to be special – and searching to be a winner is in-fact self-hatred – and self-bullying – wherein I am implying that I am not good enough before I’ve managed to show to myself that I am a winner – and that I deserve my love – and that I deserve my acceptance of myself – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to say – enough is enough – now I will stop this inner rat race and finally accept myself – and allow myself to loose – because the beauty of loosing is that I can then focus upon being with myself – and letting myself live – because that is the problem with trying to win – that in doing that I’m missing out on life and living

When and as I see that I am defining myself as being special, and as a winner – and I seek to uphold, and assert this idea of myself through getting good grades in school – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t need to feel special, and that I don’t need to think that I am a winner – and I don’t need a definition of myself what-so-ever in order to be here – and love me – and accept me; as such I commit myself to let go of the hunt for specialness – and to let go of my definition of myself as being more than average – and instead allow myself to love myself – and accept myself – and enjoy living instead of searching for the win

When and as I see that I am going into a state of hastiness – as trying to “get there” because over “there” I’ll apparently be able to assert my definition of myself as being the best – and being special – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath – and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to BE HERE – with myself – and live here – to stop trying to get there – as I see that there is the biggest lie, and illusion that have ever been promulgated in this world – as it implies that I can only be fulfilled and whole in the future – when the only point that is real and actual is HERE as this moment in this very breath

When and as I see that I am going into a state of survival – as using memories within me to substantiate an idea of myself that I am special, unique, and a winner – intellectual, and intelligent – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – memories are not alive – memories do not show me who I am – memories are in-fact lies of the past imposing themselves to be me – while the fact of the situation is that I am HERE – and that I am not a memory – but that I am a living being able to make decisions and move myself by common sense here – and as such not in need of a memory-character to tell me who I am; as such I commit myself to live without a character – and without memories – and without a definition of myself – and push myself to stand bare as breath – as a new born baby in every moment of breath HERE



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 30 May 2013, 22:50

Day 27: Democracy
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/05/day-26-democracy/

In this post democracy will be discussed – as the problem with democracy, and the solutions that are available – and the rewards that will come by implementing the solution.

Firstly – let’s look at – what is democracy?

hands”Democracy is a form of government in which all eligible citizens have an equal say in the decisions that affect their lives. Democracy allows eligible citizens to participate equally—either directly or through elected representatives—in the proposal, development, and creation of laws. It encompasses social, economic and cultural conditions that enable the free and equal practice of political self-determination.

The term originates from the Greek δημοκρατία (dēmokratía) ”rule of the people”,which was coined from δῆμος (dêmos) ”people” and κράτος (kratos) ”power” or ”rule” in the 5th century BCE to denote the political systems then existing in Greek city-states, notably Athens; the term is an antonym to ἀριστοκρατία (aristocratie) ”rule of an elite”. While theoretically these definitions are in opposition, in practice the distinction has been blurred historically, The political system of Classical Athens, for example, granted democratic citizenship to an elite class of free men and excluded slaves and women from political participation. In virtually all democratic governments throughout ancient and modern history, democratic citizenship consisted of an elite class until full enfranchisement was won for all adult citizens in most modern democracies through the suffrage movements of the 19th and 20th centuries. The English word dates to the 16th century, from the older Middle French and Middle Latin equivalents.

Democracy contrasts with forms of government where power is either held by one person, as in a monarchy, or where power is held by a small number of individuals, as in an oligarchy. Nevertheless, these oppositions, inherited from Greek philosophy, are now ambiguous because contemporary governments have mixed democratic, oligarchic, and monarchic elements. Karl Popper defined democracy in contrast to dictatorship or tyranny, thus focusing on opportunities for the people to control their leaders and to oust them without the need for a revolution.”

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy

Problem

Democracy is currently an ideal, and a idea – a belief that somehow people can come together in this world and by their free will, and by their own consent make an informed decision and choose how they want society to function – obviously – this is ONLY an idea, and consequently and illusion – because that is a characteristic of an idea – it’s not a real, manifested, and practical living. The question is – how come this idea is not practically lived?

The first point that must be realized is that human beings have no free will – the other point that must be realized is that – some people have understood that we as humans do not have free will, and have within this spent lot’s of time, and effort to map out exactly how to manipulate the will of human beings to have it to be the will they want it to be – this is currently called social engineering – and also goes by the name of commercial – marketing – propaganda – or cognitive disinformation – it’s the process of repeating information in a way that entice the malleable minds of people to accept the information repeated as being real – and how the world functions – while that is not the case at all.

So – let’s go through these two points in more detail – to look at exactly how it is the human beings have no free will, and how the let’s call it – automated will – of people is then manipulated, and coerced into a very limited, and dumbed down understanding of this world, and reality.

How is it that people have no free will?

The reason that human beings have no free will is because we haven’t designed who we are – and we haven’t ever investigated what it means to live – what we’ve done as a race is to take the easy way out – which is to copy all the knowledge of our parents, and assume that everything they told us, showed us, and lived as themselves is correct, and the way reality functions – and then decided to make that knowledge our primary guide for living in this world; obviously making our small adjustments to this knowledge, personalizing it a bit so we don’t just take everything word by word! Because – hey – we can’t be that much of a copy-cat – we must be, and feel a little bit special in our views, and ideas of this world; but in essence – and looking at the basic principles of how we understand our world, and reality to function – we have simply copied everything that our parents have told us.

Thus – we have no free will – because we’ve never cared to create a free will – because having a free will implies that we’ve actually investigated everything, and within that freed ourselves from any form of limitation as knowledge – cross-referenced everything – and in-fact stood able to see everything that is here for what it is – not trying to place our accumulated knowledge as a thin linen over the world to have it be in the color that we’d desire it to be in – that would be free will – a will being FREE of any form of restriction – able to consider everything with no fear – with no desire – with no opinion – with no little voice in the head telling us who, and how we should be – obviously this is not how we exist – our will is tainted, and chained to millions of small reactions, experiences, thoughts, backchats, assumptions, ideas, definitions – all knowledge that we’ve accumulated and downloaded from our parents – just as our parents have downloaded from their parents – and so on into infinity.

As such – this is why we do not have free will – and as such we are unable to in-fact implement actual, and real democracy – which implies that EACH citizen stand as a voice of reason – in giving a vote, and sharing a perspective as to how society is to be constructed and built – because it’s not even our will that we’re communicating, and sharing – it’s the will of past accumulated knowledge.

So – this is our first problem – we’ve become automatons unable to function by our own will, directive, and critical thinking – now – let’s look at the second point as to why democracy is currently not able to exist in this world – which is the point of elitism, and people that have been completely subdued, and hijacked by greed – and have within that decided to go to any lengths to control the automated minds of others to align with their own wishes of more power, authority = money; what I am talking about here is the tendency of such people to use propaganda – as disinformation – to control the minds of others to be as they’d like others minds to be.

This is not a new problem – it’s been existing FOREVER – I mean – all of society is based upon disinformation – as people presenting themselves to be one thing in order to be given respect, and be considered as more important than others – we can go back to the ancient Egypt to see this very same pattern playing out – back then the manipulation techniques was less refined but still very effective – back then the ruling class convinced the other people (slaves) that apparently the ruling class had been selected by gods to live a completely awesome life with lot’s of money, and sex – and that all others sadly had to be slaves – and this was completely accepted by everyone while clearly – it’s a fucking lie!

Today – the disinformation techniques have been more refined – today it’s not openly admitted that anyone is a slave – instead people are led to believe that they are free to create their own life’s, and that apparently there is no ruling class – because we live in modern society that values equality, and justice – really? Who say’s that? Oh – right – the television, and some documents signed by the president – hmm – yet looking around this apparently equal society I’m able to see homeless people – people without food – people without sanitation – I’m able to see the majority of people scurrying about trying to earn money to survive – in complete fear, and totally indebted – spending most of their wake lives trying not to piss of their boss – so that they can make ends meet when the month comes to an end – and within all of this mess – some people tend to live without a worry in the world – having EVERYTHING and more than they could ever need – in the form of money, and material possessions beyond what any normal person could earn in several lifetimes – yet still – with all of this around us – as proof that we still live in a feudal society – we tend to believe that we are free, and treated with justice in a society that care’s for it’s people – no – it’s not true – we the people have become automatons and we’re currently being fooled by other automatons that have been pre-programmed to be the apparent elite of this world.

Thus – this is our second major problem – there are people that seek control, and power – and these people will spew out enormous amounts of false information in this world – and make people believe that they make decisions that are informed, and by their free will – while really they are just being cleverly manipulated to do precisely with the slave-lords want their slaves to do – to work, and produce more material possessions, and services for their masters.

That is really what has become of democracy today – it’s the lie that is told to the average person in this world – that apparently he’s free to choose – while really – he’s being manipulated – and democracy is a part of that lie as a veil that is lowered before the eyes of each human being in this world – to believe that they are living the life they’ve chosen – while they’re in-fact living a life that has been decided for them already by other people.

This is why democracy is currently not possible in our world.

Solution

Though – in having said this – I do not want to bash on the initial idea of democracy – and the principle that democracy as a ideal is founded upon – because it’s a COOL principle – it’s a COOL idea – democracy implies EQUALITY it implies EQUAL CONSIDERATION – it implies LISTENING – it implies HEARING – and it implies no more slavery because everyone is here to make a decision by equal means – where the majority rule. That is how a society should function.

To be able to manifest this principle, and way of living into practical – physical reality – we require to first, and foremost – take back the control of our own minds – that is of essence. We must understand that currently we’ve become automatons that function by assumption, and broken knowledge that was handed down to us by those who went before us – and within this we require to stand up – and push ourselves to develop, and create actual – and real free will.

Within doing this – developing real free will – the second problem – of elitists trying to manipulate the will of the people with false information – will cease to exist – as such manipulation requires that people are dependent, and mentally inferior in order to function – a human that has developed integrity, and clear critical thinking skills can’t be swayed be the manipulation tactics of propaganda and social engineering – because a human being that has develop the skill to be stable, and directive – will not have any dysfunctional knowledge in the form of emotions, feelings, or thoughts running wild within – and as such there is no switch to through manipulation trigger within a self-developed human-being – that human being has taken back to control of his switch so to speak – and is now standing and using his switch in order to make informed decisions – that result in what is best for all.

As such – to conclude – the solution to being able to implement REAL democracy – is to free our own minds from the bullshit that we’ve allowed to fester within – and become our way of living – we must purify ourselves, and not anymore allow ourselves to make decisions within fear, or desire – but to instead make sure that we stand principled, and directive – and that we don’t allow propaganda to influence who we are.

Reward

The reward for developing ourselves in to free individuals that are able to stand self-independent – and clear – and evaluate critically everything that is thrown at us – is LIFE – and real democracy will become the road to life – as a world that is best for all – were everyone is considered – and everyone is cared for – were everyone is heard, and everyone is given to opportunity to voice themselves, and were no one will be forgotten.

The reward is that we’ll be able to develop a society were fear is but a distant memory – a story told around the campfire to children that have no concept of fear – because they’ve lived, and grown up in such a supportive, caring, and compassionate environment – that they’ve never ever experienced themselves in danger, or threatened in anyway – they’ve had EVERYTHING they ever wanted to have – and it’s been given to them unconditionally – because that is the principle by which society functions – GIVE AS YOU’D LIKE TO RECEIVE.



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 01 Jun 2013, 22:44

Day 28: Communism – Problem/Solution/Reward
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-28 ... ionreward/

Today I’m going to have a look at communism – to see what the problem is with communism, what are the solutions, and what are the rewards for living such solutions.

What is then communism? Here is a definition taken from Wikipedia:

Communism (from Latin communis – common, universal) is a revolutionary socialist movement to create a classless, moneyless and stateless social order structured upon common ownership of the means of production, as well as a social, political and economic ideology that aims at the establishment of this social order. This movement, in its Marxist–Leninist interpretations, significantly influenced the history of the 20th century, which saw intense rivalry between the ”socialist world” (socialist states ruled by communist parties) and the ”Western world” (countries with capitalist economies).

Problem

The main point with communism is to give property to everyone – so that there is no more private property but only common property – which is a very cool idea because it implies the end of poverty, the end of abuse – and in a sense equality between all men – because everyone have what everyone else have – thus the whole is considered – the collective – and the individual is a part of the whole and doesn’t live at the expense of the whole

in-theory-communism-works_-_redThe issue with communism is thus not the ideology behind it – the problem with communism is it’s lack of understanding, and insight into the function of human nature. We’ve already through the wake of history seen several countries decide to base their political system on communism – though – in none of these countries have emerged any form of equality – instead the systems have developed into hierarchical systems based upon violence, coercion, fear, and greed – where no more have people received power through the money that they accumulate but instead by which position they’re able to acquire in the governmental system.

A cool movie that reveals how this hierarchical system functioned in East Germany before the fall of the Berlin wall is the lives of others.

What this movie shows is how people that have acquired strong positions in the communistic party abuse their power for their own self-interest, and gain – they use the mechanisms of the system – such as prison, police, military, etc. in order to make sure that their life is the best life – and within this the communistic ideology and it’s principles are no-where to be seen – people merely call themselves communist but in no way actually live the principles, and thoughts that communism as the ideology is based upon.

The problem with communism is that it’s based upon the assumption that the system is able to change without humans changing – this is a rudimentary misunderstanding – because our current system is the sum total of all human beings in this world – thus – our world will not be better than the how we as humanity as a whole live – and as such it’s impossible to implement communism and believe that it will work as it’s supposed to work without first re-educating – and showing all human beings what it means, and how it’s done – to live the principles of communism in day-to-day living.

This is why – in order to change our current system into a system that is best for all – we require re-education on a massive scale – and what we need to learn is not fancy knowledge of science, and philosophy – we need to learn how to care for each other, and how to consider one another – that is the basic knowledge that should’ve been taught and expected of everyone to live – yet that has been completely missed in our world – and the consequence is that what-ever ideology we’ve tried to manifest, and no matter how much we’ve tried to change our external reality – it’s all remained the same – a hierarchical system of abuse, and misuse of power – where it’s always been a few that gotten into a position of control over the many – and that have then abused this position completely for their own benefits.

Solution

In order to change this we first require to start with ourselves – and what we need to ask ourselves is – where is it that I am not considering others? Where is it that I am not living communism – meaning – giving to another as I’d like to receive – and treating another as I’d like to be treated? Where is it within me, and my world that I live as a cold-hearted dictator – abusing others for my own pleasure? Where is it that I let my self-interest make decisions for me – instead me making a decision within common sense?

As such – what we first must do is deconstruct the origin-point of the failure of this world-system to produce any form of comfort, and safety for humanity as a whole – which is ourselves – and we must within brutal self-honesty reveal how we’re within our thoughts, within our actions, within our presence – creating this world to exist as it does – repeating our failures, and mistakes – day by day – without standing up and stating that – enough is enough – I will myself to change – and become a better me.

Thus – one could say that – what is missed in communism is the SELF; in communism – focus is given to the commune – on that which is shared – on that which is our external reality – but not focus is given to self – and what goes on in secret – in self’s thoughts – in the backchat of the mind – in the fantasies that come up – and the thoughts that are hidden deep down in the crevices of self – that nobody but self knows about – that is what we require to deal with – and as such – to successfully implement communism – we require to combine communism with self-education, self-introspection – and self-change – because only in changing our starting point living – from ME, ME, ME – to WE – will we be able to start considering the commune – the society – and the people that are around us – and this self-change must be done by each individual themselves – by their directive will – by their decision – and it can’t be forced – and as such – communism as an idea can’t be forced unto this world, and this reality and be expected to function perfectly as we thought it to function in our minds – because we must consider what, and how we are as human-beings – and take it from there.

The solution is thus to – first walk self-change – and change the me to the we – and then begin to walk, and implement external change – one and equal – self change within and accordingly the external reality change without; as above so below – as within so without – one can’t exist without the other.

Reward

The reward for changing self – and creating a world where there is no more hierarchy – where there is no more people that abuse power – and that seek to be more than others – is that we’ll finally be able to live in peace, and have a stable reality. We will not anymore have genocides, and crazy dictators becoming possessed with greed, and paranoia – deciding to execute half of the inhabitants in the country which they rule; we will have a world without fear – where we can plan our futures, and then live according to our plans – because there will be real stability.

We will be able to count on our countrymen to consider us and treat us with respect, and care – and as such we won’t anymore be afraid of us becoming stabbed in the back – and betrayed – and not anymore will competition exist between people – and not anymore will someone be seen as more important than another – and be considered a leader while the others becomes considered as a slaves – we’ll in-fact ALL be equal – when we live that respect within ourselves – and manifest that respect towards life in our actions – in our words – and become it so completely that there is no more self-interest – only the WE – because we understand that we are not separate from the whole – and that there is really no ME – because no man is an island – we’re all interconnected – and all dependent upon each other to live fulfilling and enjoyable life’s.



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 03 Jun 2013, 20:05

Day 28: Test-anxiety – The Calm Before The Storm (Part 16)
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-27 ... m-part-16/

Because I’ve now walked this character for some time – I’ve begun to experience a sense of ease, and peace within me in relation to studying for my test – I do not anymore experience it as this life, and death-situation – and when I am studying – I am simply sitting there studying.

Though, there are some lingering thoughts left within me that disturb me – and that I notice are coming from fear, and anxiety. One of these thoughts is a fantasy, a projection of me doing the test – me sitting in the examination-hall – looking down at my papers – trying to remember all the information that I’ve been studying so feverishly – sitting there being nervous as to what question is going to come – and within that projection – I can see how I am thinking about whether I’ve forgotten something – what if I’ve studied the wrong things? What if I’ve made a crucial mistake and I am going to regret myself – and I am going to walk out of this hall and feel like shit?

What I’ve understood is that the grades on my test DO NOT DEFINE ME – but I’ve not fully lived this understanding in flesh – because – I still do believe that the grades I will receive on this test will define who I am – will define my very future – will be the very point that is going to either have me make it, or break it – fascinating – because in looking at my life up to this point – I am able to see how insignificant the results on the tests that I’ve taken have been in actually influencing my ability to stand, live, and walk in this system – what has been important has instead been my dedication to the particular subject – and me actually learning, comprehending, and understanding information in school – because that is something that I’ve been able to take with me – and use later in my life; though obviously – the grades have had some influence – as to what university courses I’ve been able to apply to – so – it’s not to say that they are meaningless – but obviously – they are not everything of the education – only a part.

Thus here it is to understand that – even though I do not receive the best grade – it doesn’t mean that I’ve failed my entire education – it only means that I’ve failed with one objective that I set for myself as to what type of results I want to have in walking this education – and thus – it’s important to not make it TO BIG – but to see it for what it is – and then look at SOLUTIONS.

I mean – it’s fascinating – when I go into fear, anxiety, nervous, and worry – that’s everything that exists to me – nothing else exists but this fear, anxiety, nervousness, and worry – and thus I completely forget that I am able to implement and live solutions – to in such a way make sure that I do receive the grade that I want to have – so – I can see that this process is a “double process” so to speak – meaning – I must walk the INNER change – meaning – let go of fear, and self-definitions in relation to achieving in school – and then walk a OUTER process – as in-fact establishing solutions so that I am able to get the grades that I want to have – because I see that it can be useful for me in terms of opening up opportunities in the system in the future.

The key is to – let go of the bullshit – and then focus on facing, correcting, and walking through real physical reality – which involve finding, and implementing solutions – it shouldn’t be that difficult!

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that fear, anxiety, and nervousness is a solution to my problems – and that when I go into and enter this form of experience – everything will be okay – because apparently I am dealing with my reality, and I am sorting out points in my world when I go into stress, fear, anxiety, and nervousness – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this is NOT TRUE – and that when I go into a experience – I mean – I am simply going into an experience – and there is nothing within which change the situation that I am facing – it’s simply me postponing actually dealing with the real – physical – and actual problems that I am facing in my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the mind is really one big excuse – it’s one big justification to not have to deal with real – physical – reality – it’s function is to make me feel certain particular experiences – and within that go into, and loose myself in this experience – and think that I am now “dealing with reality” because I am in this “though experience” – while really I am just lost in my mind fighting demons that aren’t real – and then letting my reality go to shit – because I am not bringing myself back here – and developing – walking – a PHYSICAL PRACTICAL SOLUTION

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is also reflected in the functioning of the world system – wherein there are countless of activists, and revolutionaries trying to change the system – and they protest – become angry – and feel like they are treated badly – and they rebel – and they feel superior and good about themselves – and the win, and they loose – and they are in this orgy of experience – but NO ONE is breathing here – looking at the practical physical situation – and then in breath – in the simplicity of self-movement – simply doing that which is needed in order to correct the point – and bring the point to a conclusion – as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that the more I think about my test – and the more I fear my test – the better it will go for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create some type of ritualistic belief within me – like a voodoo doll – wherein my thoughts of fear are these sacrifices that I make to the “test-god” that he will treat me benevolently and have me score a good mark – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that FEAR doesn’t help me – I mean I’ve proved this to myself countless of times – fear makes me ineffective – fear makes me stress, and not read information properly – fear makes me stupid – fear makes me not able to think, and consider the information that is here in a open-minded – and relaxed state of being – I meaning – I know this because I’ve done tests in fear before in my life time – and I’ve always managed to exceed when I’ve been relaxed, and comfortable – and not stressed as to the outcome of the test

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give up the desire for my life to be a life of excellence – and instead focus, and give my life to creating a world that is best for all – thus within this – giving up self-interest – and within this giving up fear – as fear can only exist where self-interest exist – and thus I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to study – and do my test – and aim for a good mark – from within and as the starting point of placing myself in a position in this world where I am able to have influence – and make a difference – as walking for all – and not for my own self-interest as fear – but instead walking – and making studies to be about everyone, and everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I hold no personal value to points in my world – I do not fear loosing the points – thus fear is a product of me placing value separate from me – thinking that I require certain external points in my world in order to keep me stable – and keep my sane – and keep me going – and within this I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to breath – and to let go of this value that I’ve separated from myself – and instead see, realize, and understand – that the only value that exist – is the value of this moment here – as me living life as what is best for all – thus value being equal to life – as living by a principle that will bring forth true excellence on a global and existential level

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am holding unto fear, anxiety, and nervousness, thinking that these experiences are helping me – that they are making me more safe, and that me having these experiences imply that I am taking care of my world – and reality – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that in essence – everything that is of the mind – as a mental projection have no value in this physical world – some points do – that are aligned with the physical and that can be directly applied into and as this physical world with direct results – for example mathematics – but FEAR – that is of NO USE – and is simply holding me back from implementing a solution – and living that which I see will actually on a physical level be able to change the situation that I am; as such I commit myself to stop relying on the mind – and fear – for anything – and I instead commit myself to really only upon physical feedback as actual results that I am able to measure – that is trustworthy – nothing else is

When and as I see that I am participating in my mind, as experiences – as feelings – as fear of doing my exams – as fear that I am going to fail – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that fear is useless – meaning that – fear doesn’t help me to do better on my tests – is only a experience – a sort of masochistic entertainment – wherein I go into my mind and think that I am “working with reality” – when really I am just in my mind – and not doing anything what-so-ever in my reality – simply because I am not in reality – as I am in my mind; as such I commit myself to be IN REALITY at all times – and to realize that when I am in fear – I am not in reality – thus not walking HERE and developing solutions – but pacifying myself in the drugs of the mind as emotions, and feelings

When and as I see that I am going into a experience – into fear – into nervousness – into disbelief – instead of developing a solution – locating the problem – defining the problem – clarifying a course of action that I am able to take in order to remove the problem – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that only physical – self-willed – self-movement is valid – and only within walking such a point will I be able to produce real – and actual results for myself – to do have an effect in my life – in the life’s of others

When and as I see that I am going into fear – which is a form of ignorance – as not being clear as to what I am facing – and exactly how to deal with, and walk through what I am facing – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that I will only have results when I stick to the facts of what is here – when I work with facts – as reality – that is when real results will come to fruition; as such I commit myself to work with what is real – with what I KNOW – because that is certain – and that is not a fluffy experience – but something that I am able to cross-reference – and be completely certain about

When, and as I see that I am feeling safe, and secure because I experience fear towards a particular point – and within this thinking that me having this fear means that I will be really motivated, and ambitious, and take good care of this opportunity – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – fear have never protected anyone – I mean – look at those going to war – soldiers – all of them possessed with fear – yet still how many is coming back from the war? Not many – only a few survive regardless of whether they experienced fear or not – and as such I commit myself to not fear – but to stick with facts – with what I know is proof – real – and valid – because that will bring me actual results

When and as I see that I am looking at my life as “my life” – as a separate island from all other human beings – and that I within that go into desires, and fears – as what I desire my life to become, and what I fear that my life could become – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that real peace – and real comfortableness with myself – can only be achieved when I let go of myself – as my self-interest – and my desire to lead and have a special life – and instead give up my one life to live for everyone – to live for all – as that implies giving up my inner reality of madness to instead focus upon that which is value to everyone; as such I commit myself to give up this one life – and dedicate this one life to the creation of a solution that is best for all in everyway – as such let go of self-interest – and let go of fear – and instead live for all

When and as I see that I am going into fear – as I fear loosing points in my world, because I’ve placed a personal value unto these points in my world – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – when I let go of placing value outside of myself – I will become untouchable – because not anymore will me stability, and foundation be based upon points that change – that are changeable in their very nature – but instead my stand will be HERE as breath – solid – because breath is ALWAYS here – the same – yesterday, today, and tomorrow – and such I commit myself to let go of personal value – and instead stand as breath in every moment – and be re-born in each in-breath – and let go – and die – in out-breath



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 06 Jun 2013, 20:55

Day 28: Test-anxiety – One Day To Go (Part 17)
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-28 ... o-part-17/

Okay – it’s now one day left until I am about to write my test – and today some nervousness have come up within me – and I find that this nervousness stems from a disbelief in myself – a sort of doubt that comes up where thoughts arise as questions: “what if you’re going to forget that?” – “what if a question you do not know is going to come?”

On top of this I’ve noticed a form of self-judgment – thoughts of the nature as: “you never do well under pressure” – “you know that you’re going to fail anyway” – “it’s too hard for you – you won’t make it!” – though this is not really self-judgment it’s more of a way that I prepare myself for eventual failure, wherein I set myself within myself for the worst so that I will be able to “take the hit” when it comes.

I’ve found it interesting to write about this point – because what I’ve seen is that this type of nervousness, and fear – it completely separates me from the whole, and from the rest of this existence – I mean – when I exist in this state of petrification – do I care, or consider anyone else but myself and my life? My self-interest? No – there is only me that exist and the experience that I am having.

Within this I’ve also considered how many human-beings that face the same type of situation in every moment – how many face the same point of nervousness, fear, and anxiety – but their worry is in relation to their life, and their future – and their self-interest – and as such – we all are isolated into our own bubbles of self-interest where we only see what’s important to ourselves and miss to consider that there is an entire world here with millions of beings – that are being disregarded, and shunned – when we only care for ourselves.

Another aspect that I’ve found interesting to consider is time – and I’ve looked here at the point of human-history – and how through out the ages billions upon billions of people have been in the same position that I am in today – at the point of a test, or a challenge – something that will in a way determine one’s future – and all of these human-beings have existed in the same fear, petrification and nervousness – and even though they might’ve managed to succeed – still time got to them and today their efforts, and their success is nothing but memories, or simply have forever been forgotten – slowly broken down by the tooth of time.

So – it’s interesting – when placing my fear, nervous, and anxiety in this existential perspective – it’s really meaningless, and fear, nervous, and anxiety is completely pointless – instead – what is of worth, and what is of importance – it’s the points that are eternal – and that will stand the test of time – and that won’t decay and become but a memory – and that eternal point is life. And life is not mine alone to claim – LIFE is here as everyone, and everything – thus making a contribution that is going to stand the test of time – is a contribution that is equally applicable and useful for all beings that exist in this world – it’s movement, and decision that is not festered with self-interest – but that is a practical support that will be able to be utilized by beings into eternity – that is a point that is not a memory – it’s real living statement.

And what of myself is it that stands with this eternal point? Well – it’s my presence – my WHO I AM – that is something I will be able to take with me – and spread as an example – and within this have real effect – showing what it means to live – showing common sense – and influencing this world to become a heaven – as such not wanting to have a memory of myself to remain in the minds of men – but instead leaving a world behind that have no flaws – and as such each human being that comes here will be able to live a life of fulfillment – that is a real life contribution – and something that I walk within applying myself in my DIP courses, spreading the Desteni message, and showing how a new world can be created through implementing a equal money system.

Thus – a word that I see I must live is perspective – being able to see my life, and my position in this world not from the perspective of self-interest – but from the perspective of life – as seeing that my life is only important, and valuable – when it is that I honor life – and stand equal and one to and as life – as all and everyone – because then I stand by something that is real, eternal, and substantial – and not by a memory – as self-interest.

What I must do to get to this point of standing objective – and not seeing myself as more valuable than another – is to remove all of the emotional garbage that I’ve created through my years of living on this earth – as it only serves to blind me from seeing the truth of what is here – that my life is equally important, and valuable as everyone else’s – and that I have no right to think of myself as being more important – and make decision that dishonor and compromise the whole.

Each and every thought is a wall that contains me from seeing the true nature of life and living – and each thought is a lie that proposes that only what goes on in my head, in my life, in my immediate surroundings, is important – while really – there is SO MUCH MORE than my thoughts, and my experiences – and my so called “life” – and it’s this real world that I decide to enter and become a part of – and that I am going to do through walking my journey to life process for the next seven years – and bring myself back to nothingness where there is no self-importance.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with my life and loose my perspective, in thinking and believing that only my life – my experiences – my challenges – my dreams – my hopes – are valuable and that I deserve to live out my life as I please and not care about anything, or anyone else – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this way of looking at myself – and looking at my world is the way of self-interest – and it’s through this type of living that this world has become what it is today – a desolate world where war, and destruction rules – because people are competing to win – instead of living what is best for all – and giving to another as they’d like to receive themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how it takes courage, and it takes dedication, and discipline to let go of self-interest – as it is everything that I’ve become – I mean before I found desteni there wasn’t even a thought about considering the whole – I even regarded is as impossible, and preposterous to live in such a way – and as such when I stand here and apply myself in changing my living-perspective – I am accordingly facing resistances, and difficulties – because I am in-fact changing the very constitution of my beingness – and developing a completely new way of living – creating a new program code that haven’t ever been invented, or even known to have existed before; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that any point of experience, any point of thought, any point of movement within – is it’s essence self-interest and only serves to separate me from the whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how meaningless it is to fear, and experience anxiety towards my test tomorrow – and how in the end – what results I will achieve on this test will mean nothing – because it will be evaporated, and removed in the tides of time – and that what will mean something – what will be of value – is WHO I AM within taking this test – because that WHO I AM is something that remains with me – the grade I receive – that will disappear – yet – the WHO I AM – that will remain – thus walking my test in stability – walking my test in dedication – walking my studies as commitment – doing my test here applying myself within and as the word of concentration, focus, and determination – that are points that will stand the test of time as they are with me – as me – and as such is not only a memory that will disappear at death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change my perspective – from developing memories – to instead developing myself – to changing my starting point of walking in this world – from walking to acquire, and win – and achieve external points of success – to instead walk each point that I face within and as self-success – meaning to utilize the points that open in my world and reality in order to develop, and create myself as words – for example with studying for this test – the words I’ve applied as myself have been discipline – consideration – patience – commitment – diligence – effort – will-power – and that I’ve as such used this point in order to enhance, and develop my relationship with myself – which is how I should walk all points that emerge in my world – and as such stop focusing on how others see me, and grade me – and instead give attention focus unto WHO I AM

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that it’s not worth it to go into nervousness, and anxiety in relation to do my tests – because – I’ve prepared myself to the best of my ability – I’ve everything I could with the resources at my disposal – and I’ve really pushed myself to learn, integrate, and understand the course-information – my work is as such complete and who I am within my work have been satisfactory – thus the test is merely the end of this particular point and it’s not the important point – because I’ve already walked the important point – which has been my preparation for the test – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not relax – breathe – and simply let go of fear – in seeing that now the preparation is complete – and what is left is simply going to my exams and doing it – and applying the information – and that this won’t go better if I fear – because the practical preparation is already completed

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that – in a way – my fate is already decided in relation to my exam, and in relation to what grade I will receive; and this fate I’ve myself created as me studying for this test – as such the grade of my exam is merely the consequence of my application – as such I am to go to the exams and simply share my accumulated time – as time I’ve spent studying – and show to the school that I’ve studied the information – and integrated the information – and that my ability to share this integrated information will not become more if I go into fear – I mean fear won’t change what is here as how I’ve studied and how I’ve integrated the information – everything is already set and it’s now to simply walk into the point – and take the point to it’s completion

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that thinking that the final test is a epitome – and “the most important point” in a course – is a faulty assumption – because one’s ability to achieve at the test will be equal to how much effort, and dedication one have put into studying – and walking the course – and accumulated information – and as such the test is not a epitome – but merely another point in the process of integrating, and accumulating the information – as such there is no reason to fear a test – thinking that fear will in anyway change the outcome of one’s ability doing the test – because that is already – by oneself – pre-determined, and pre-decided – that is how the physical function as a reality of consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let myself do the test when I do the test – and when I do not do the test – not have test in anyway exist within me as a fear, projection, or a experience – but simply walk HERE – and participate with what is physically here in every breath – as such being HERE in this breath writing this blog – not having a single thought, or consideration towards the test I will do at the more – obviously knowing that I will do the test at a particular time – having it in my awareness so to speak – yet not in anyway allowing that knowledge to destabilize me – and have my change my breath-by-breath physical movement here – but that I remain the same – remain constant – remain here – and I walk in every moment being the same regardless of what points I am to walk through in the future

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I go into fear, anxiety, and nervousness in relation to doing my test – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that fear won’t enhance my memory, and my ability to complete the test – as such my performance is already pre-decided by my study-application before the test – and as such – how the test will go will in a way simply be a consequence of my day-to-day living as how I’ve walked the course up to this point of doing the test – and how well, and how effectively I’ve been able to integrate the information; as such I commit myself to stop fear – and simply walk the physical act of writing the test – of getting it done – forgiving thought coming up – and simply being physical here – realizing that being physical is superior as everything is simply HERE with no fear – as such doing the test – will be like me getting up in the morning – a practical point of movement here – nothing more, and nothing less

When and as I see that I am giving more value to doing this test, and to this particular point achieving in my exam – than other points of world, and my reality – than other parts of my life, and living – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that no one point is more important than another in terms of seeing my life as a whole – because my life is multi-dimensional and my functionality within my life is dependent upon me being present, aware, and directive – effective – in all parts of my life – and as such it’s completely ludicrous to give attention, and focus to only one point and disregard everything that is here; as such I commit myself to be HERE as breath in every moment – which is the practical application of giving all moments in my life equal attention – and equal value – not seeing one moment, as more or less than another moment

When and as I see that I am going into fear, anxiety, and nervousness in relation to doing my test – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I accept and allow myself to expand my perspective – to see this test that I am doing from a greater, and existential perspective – in seeing how much value I am giving to this point and that it’s really completely unrealistic – and completely stupid – because within doing that – there is SO MUCH that I am missing here; as such I commit myself to be HERE in every moment – HERE in every moment – remaining with existence – as all that is here – not going into my personal mind space as my own thoughts, and experiences – but remaining with the physical – which is the point where everything exists – here

I commit myself to as a practical application to stop fear, nervous, and anxiety – practice breathing deeply in and out – practice observing, and being aware of my direct environment – seeing that there are more life’s than mine – seeing that there is more going on in existence than me doing this test – and that this test is not everything as my mind would like it to seem – because there is so much more here going on in every moment – but I require to open my eyes, and be present to actually see and recognize

I commit myself to dare to let go of self-interest – walking this practically through being here as breath – which is a point of no self-interest – as only this moment exist – as a moment wherein there is not personal self – but only self-expression – one and equal – as a movement with and as the whole – and not as a personal experience of energy trying to move in separation, and conflict with the whole; as such commit myself to practice moving myself with and as the whole here – wherein I stand and walk as a extension of life as the natural flow – and movement – of the moment



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 07 Jun 2013, 09:25

Day 31: Problems With Socialism
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-31 ... socialism/

Today I am going to look at socialism through goggles of problem/solution/reward – looking firstly at – what is socialism? And then taking apart socialism to look at what the specific philosophy implies – and what the effects will be of implementing such a system – and how such an idea could be changed, molded, and directed to support what is best for all.

Firstly – what is socialism? Here is a definition taken from Wikipedia:

”Socialism is an economic system characterised by social ownership of the means of production and co-operative management of the economy.[1] ”Social ownership” may refer to cooperative enterprises, common ownership, state ownership, or citizen ownership of equity.[2] There are many varieties of socialism and there is no single definition encapsulating all of them.[3] They differ in the type of social ownership they advocate, the degree to which they rely on markets or planning, how management is to be organised within productive institutions, and the role of the state in constructing socialism.[4]

A socialist economic system would consist of a system of production and distribution organized to directly satisfy economic demands and human needs, so that goods and services would be produced directly for use instead of for private profit[5] driven by the accumulation of capital. Accounting would be based on physical quantities, a common physical magnitude, or a direct measure of labour-time in place of financial calculation.[6][7] Distribution would be based on the principle to each according to his contribution.

As a political movement, socialism includes a diverse array of political philosophies, ranging from reformism to revolutionary socialism. Proponents of state socialism advocate the nationalisation of the means of production, distribution and exchange as a strategy for implementing socialism. In contrast, libertarian socialism proposes the traditional view of direct worker’s control of the means of production and opposes the use of state power to achieve such an arrangement, opposing both parliamentary politics and state ownership.[citation needed] Democratic socialism seeks to establish socialism through democratic processes and propagate its ideals within the context of a democratic political system.

Modern socialism originated from an 18th-century intellectual and working class political movement that criticized the effects of industrialisation and private property on society. In the early 19th-century, ”socialism” referred to any concern for the social problems of capitalism irrespective of the solutions to those problems. However, by the late 19th-century, ”socialism” had come to signify opposition to capitalism and advocacy for an alternative system based on some form of social ownership.[8] Marxists expanded further on this, attributing scientific assessment and democratic planning as critical elements of socialism.[9]”

In essence one is able to classify socialism as the sharing of property according to each one’s ability to work – wherein accumulation of capital is not allowed for the benefit of individuals – but capital is mostly owned by the state; capital being buildings, machines, cars, factories, etc.

Thus – what socialism aims to do is to level the playing field – and have each individual on equal terms be able to compete with each one’s time being valued equally – one hour of labor for a steel worker – giving the same salary as one hour of work for a lawyer.

Problem

The main problem with socialism is that it’s focus is at directing property – directing labor – and directing money – and within this the ruling principle is fairness – meaning that monies should be divided fairly by the sweat of one’s brow – and not by for example inheriting the money; the problem with this is that there is no underlying principles as to what the system is to achieve – it’s merely a band aid solution to quell the competitive nature of man and enforce fairness – but there is no consideration towards changing the nature of man – and not basing the system on fairness – but instead basing the system on what is best for all – wherein what is best for all is the objective – and the final goal.

In Sweden where I live we’ve have socialist political system – and what this means is that differences in class is equalized through taxation, and policies are enforced that aim at having all participants in the system earn the same monies – and when everyone earn the same amount of money – that is then apparently considered an achievement – but I mean – is this really all we can expect out of a political ideology? That monies are to be divided fairly between people? Shouldn’t there be MORE to a political dispensation? And obviously – the answer is YES – there should be more! There should be a goal – a clear objective – that dividing money between people is not a goal in itself – but that it’s a means of reaching a perfect society wherein EVERYONE live a life of perfection – and earth is taken care – and everyone is able to live life’s that are fulfilling and enjoyable.

Due to me living in a socialist country – I’ve had direct experience of the outcomes of a socialist system – and I am with certainty able to say that simply dividing monies between people – and equalizing wages – that does not produce humans with integrity – self-respect – and with the ability to CO-operate – what the equalizing of wages have created in Sweden is instead a country filled with complacent people that have everything they feel they need to live a comfortable life – yet there is not DRIVE to perfect society – and to perfect each and every individual in the country – not only by giving them the material they require to live – but also through perfecting the psyche – perfecting the motivation – perfecting the mental well-being of each and everyone – because that type of perfection is not something that arise simply by giving monies to everyone.

And that is why I say that the problem with socialism is that it stops at only considering property, and money – and how this should be divided between people – I mean – that is only one point that must be attended to and sorted – but when that point as achieved – and all have a basic materialistic foundation and welfare – then the process of establishing a society of perfection must continue until there really is perfection – perfection being that there is no crime – there is no mental retardation – there is no illness – there is no violence – there is no unemployment – there is no depression – there is no outcasts – there is no fear – then – when everyone in society are fulfilled – we can say that we’re getting somewhere – but simply dividing monies – that isn’t enough.

As with communism – the primary point that socialism miss is the self – the individual human-being and his experience of himself – as instead all focus is placed on money, property, capital, salary, and fairness – while instead focus should be placed on asking ourselves how it is that each individual human being is partly responsible for creating the world we live in – and how we’re within this able to re-educate each and every human being to only create that which is best for all.

Because – what must be understood is that an ideology – and a philosophy can only be implemented and truly become the very living flesh of each inhabitant of a country – if that point is lived, understood, and embraced by each and everyone – if that isn’t the case – then it’s merely empty words that have been written down in a policy but where there is no substance behind the words – because the country’s inhabitants merely follow the policy out of fear of punishment – that is then not change – that is simply coercing people to adapt to a particular idea instead of making everyone co-creators – co-responsible – seeing that a society can only be as effective as it’s individual citizen – because each citizen is a brick in a wall – and unless all bricks are effective in fulfilling their purpose – the wall will be unstable, and not be able to stand point and function effectively.

To conclude what the problem with socialism is – socialism doesn’t consider the inner workings of man – seeing that what must be changed is not merely how resources are own and distributed in this world – but what must be changed is each individual human being – and that sharing resources can’t be the final goal – but there must be a much more ambitious principle – else the political dispensation is simply a organized way of giving up into being less than what we’re capable of being; thus – socialism doesn’t strive towards true magnificence in every way – and does not consider that to reach such magnificence – each individual human being must be magnificent.

Solution

What is then the solution?

The solution is that we within developing our societies become more ambitious in how it is that we want life on earth to be – and how it is that we want life in society to be; I mean – simply saying that “I want to survive” – “I just want to have peace” – that’s not enough – if we’re to create a new world we’re we can truly be happy, and thrive as a race with the rest of existence – we require to dare to set high standards for ourselves – and in this we can’t stop at saying that resources should be divided equal among people to each his own contribution – we must state a living policy – a living ideology – and through our words create the foundation of a world of magnificence – wherein resources are not merely divided equal because that is fair – no – resources are divided equally to all to support each human being to become his utmost potential as a human-being – and education is given to everyone because we see, and understand that when some are more educated than others, this is more than often abused and from this slaves, and masters are born.

And we state that the point with dividing resources equally among everyone is so that each can be FREE to LIVE – free to develop and expand to our utmost ability – becoming perfection in every way – and within this we will achieve a world of individuals that do really care about creating a world that is magnificent – wherein we are able to expand our care to the animal kingdom, to nature, to the plant-life, and the insects – and make sure that not only humans are able to live a fulfilling life – but that each, and every form of life that enters this world is cared for, and considered as we’d like to be if we were in the same position as that life form.

Thus – as most ideologies that have been develop by humanity – socialism lack the ambition to create heaven on earth – it lacks to ambition to set a target for humanity as a whole that only absolute perfection will be satisfactory and anything less but absolute perfection is a compromise. I mean – how could socialism in anyway be a solution to the strife of mankind – when socialism allows gossip, allows fear, allows mistrust, allows violence, allows judgment, allows jealousy, allows competition, allows comparison – these are all parts of the current human psyche that must be corrected and removed in order for a world of true perfection to come forth – and because socialism doesn’t consider, or establish a solution for the condition of the human psyche – it’s a inefficient and unrealistic political ideology that only offers a band-aid solution – so at least most people don’t have to starve to death.

To conclude, and summarize – the solution as to how to perfect socialism, and create political ideology that is best for all – is to be ambitious and set high standards for ourselves – and demand nothing less but absolute perfection from ourselves, and our fellow neighbors – it’s to consider, and find solutions for the malfunctioned psyche of man – to make sure that there exist no hidden agendas as psychological disorders within people but that all are effective in caring for their inner, and outer well-being.

Reward

What is the reward for implementing such a political system?

The reward is that we will have a purpose in our life’s – for the first time a purpose that is of meaning, and value – the purpose being that we are here on this earth to manifest perfection, and to create heaven – and that we are here on this earth to make sure that when we leave – the earth is in a better condition than when we came here.

Within this what will develop between people in society is real friendship – because people share the same passion for life, living, and all strife for perfection – thus people will be able to trust each other and bond at a much deeper level than can ever be conceived in todays consumerism system – there will be no more fear – and within this each persons individual self-expression will slowly but surely emerge from the darkness of the physical – so that within this we’ll have a society, and a world that is organic, and filled with life as living, caring, and considerate human beings – all operating by the same principle – to give as they’d like to receive as what is best for all.

A system that holds these ambitions are already in development – check it out here – equal money.



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 10 Jun 2013, 17:52

Day 32: I Am Really Good – Just Not This Time!
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-32 ... this-time/

I am continuing on the subject of nervousness in relation to school. After the last time I wrote here I’ve done my exams, and within doing that I went into lots of nervousness – despite the fact that I’ve worked so rigorously with the point. Within this I realized that I am not yet getting to the origin point – the problem so to speak – and that I’ve yet to find the dysfunction within me that creates this pattern of nervousness.

Thus – I’ve in order to familiarize myself more with nervousness as an experience bought some interviews from Eqafe that are giving a perspective on nervousness, and also suggesting a step-by-step solution as how to transcend and move through nervousness.

Now – in these interviews the nervousness that is being expanded upon, and explained is in relation to talking to lot’s of people – standing before a crowd – the nervousness I experience comes up in a different setting yet the symbolism of the events are the same. Because when I sit and write my exam I face the same point of a evaluating crowd – because the exam I write will be reviewed by professors, and it will gain me a particular mark – and this will then possibly be seen by future employees, my family, and so on – thus – I am not just writing a test but I am actually indirectly standing before the unknown as that which I am not able to calculate, and control – just as with standing before a crowd.

Thus – I will utilize the same step-by-step method in order to take apart my nervousness here as is suggested in relation to nervousness that comes up when facing crowds.

Unfortunately I can’t reveal the exact nature of the step-by-step nature – as it’s a product that is sold at the eqafe store – thus if you want to find out exactly how to do this that I am going to do in the coming blogs, you’ll have to purchase the interviews for yourself. What I am going to share here is the self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements, and the self-writing – but I am not going to go into detail as to the nature of the method that I am working by.

Still – anyone reading this and that are struggling with nervousness of a similar nature can utilize these writings as a support structure, and then if you want to further your understanding, and application of yourself in relation to this point – I suggest to you invest in these interviews:

https://eqafe.com/p/deconstructing-nerv ... ns-part-89

https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousn ... ns-part-90

https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousn ... ns-part-91

https://eqafe.com/p/sounding-self-forgi ... ns-part-92

https://eqafe.com/p/finalising-nervousn ... ns-part-93

Self-writing

I am going to begin with opening up how it is that I see myself before I make an exam – what is it that I think of myself? And it’s fascinating – because I see that I have a positive excitement experience towards the prospect of writing my exams; I will have thoughts of the nature such as “yeah! I know I am good at writing exams!” – “This time I will be much more calm, and relaxed than the last time!” – “If I just study enough for this exam everything will go smoothly!” – “I am smart, so I know that nothing can go wrong really!”.

So – what I am doing here is that I am creating a positive self-image of myself in relation to my test – that fascinatingly enough – isn’t real – which results in me becoming disappointed with myself, and feeling like a failure – when it is that I sit down to do my exams and up comes lot’s of nervousness, and anxiety. The first thing I got to do is as such to remove all these positive ideas I have of myself – because they are really just that – ideas and not a real living statement as who I am.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive idea of myself in relation to me doing my exams – wherein I imagine within me that I have an easy time doing exams, that I usually tend to be cool, and calm – and that I tend to be effective in writing my exams – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at the reality of how I experience myself – which is that I tend to become very nervous, I tend to doubt myself, and I tend to fear what might, or might not happen when it is that I sit down to write my exams

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in seeing, realizing, and understanding that I tend to hold unto fear of the unknown, and fear of failure to a large extent – and that as such – my experience with writing my exams are really uncomfortable, and not very pleasurable, or calm at all – a complete contradiction to who I believe myself to be in my mind – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remove and form of positive experience, and idea of myself in relation to writing my exams – and as such instead work with what is real – and how I actually experience myself in writing my tests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine within myself before writing a test – that everything will go great, and within this feel a slight tinge of superiority – as feeling that “hey! I am awesome at writing exams – this will be fun!” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this positive – energy – accumulation in relation to writing my test isn’t real – but is a mechanism of suppression that I utilize in order to not have to face the real me – as the real experience of myself within and as me writing my exams

Self-commitments

When it is that I go into and as a experience of excitement, superiority, and positive projection towards the future as writing my exams – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this positive experience that I am having in relation to writing my exams – it isn’t real – but merely a suppression mechanism that I use so that I won’t have to face, and deal with the real experience of me while writing my exams – which is fear, and nervousness; as such I commit myself to breath and to not create any idea of myself – to not picture myself in my mind as being good at writing my test – but instead stay with the physical – stay here – and not go into energy as excitement, or superiority

When it is that I see I am becoming disappointed with myself when I write my exams, because I’ve become nervous, and filled with anxiety, even though I imagined myself within my mind that I wouldn’t experience myself in this way – and that I instead would be stable, calm, and easily write my exams – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that there is nothing to become disappointed in – because my initial dreams of myself weren’t even real but based upon illusion as participating in the mind reality instead of living here; as such I commit myself to bring me back to what is actually here as me in the moment – and not have any expectations, and ideas of myself that I can’t cross-reference and confirm to be real in the physical – in this moment here



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 13 Jun 2013, 10:09

Day 33: Nervousness Dissected
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-33 ... dissected/

Today I am going to continue to investigate my positive experiences in relation to points that I become nervous in relation towards – the reason being that – when holding unto a positive experience and projecting this unto a particular point in one’s world, the consequence will be a equal polarity opposite of a negative experience – and here this experience is nervousness.

I suggest for anyone that desire to take on this point for themselves to invest in these interviews – well worth the money!

https://eqafe.com/p/deconstructing-nerv ... ns-part-89
https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousn ... ns-part-90
https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousn ... ns-part-91
https://eqafe.com/p/sounding-self-forgi ... ns-part-92
https://eqafe.com/p/finalising-nervousn ... ns-part-93

Thus – let’s see – how is it that I view myself in relation to doing my exams, and speaking in front of people? As these are two points within which nervousness arise.

1) I am able to see that I experience a sense of false calm – I feel within me that “I am good at these kinds of things – and there is no way that I can fail” – so it’s form of superiority wherein I blow myself up within myself – thinking that this experience is me – while really – my actual physical experience while really walking the point of the exams, or speaking in-front of my class – is something completely different than calm, and boastful.

2) I feel that there is a sense of hope, and excitement in relation to this point – I experience it as if I’ve a opportunity to prove myself, and go somewhere new in my life, and reality – and within this I tend to have a sort of confidence within me – wherein I state that “I can do this!” – a confidence that then fails to shows up when it is that I am actually performing the point.

3) There is a expectation within me – as a desire to perform, and show everyone that “I can do it!” – “I can be the best on this point!” – “I can really make others notice me!” – thus it’s a desire to have attention, and to be seen – and also to be courageous, self-independent, and assertive.

So – these are the positive points that I’ve attached to the promise of walking exams, or speaking in-front of a group – what I am doing here is that I am removing the illusory part of my experience as the positive so that I am able to amalgamate myself, and merge with my real experience of me while doing my exams, and public speaking assignments – because within doing that I will place myself in a position of being able to direct reality, and change myself for real.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a superior to orator, a superior people’s person – and in relation to doing public speaking, or walking my exams – go into and as a state of positive excitement – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create positive ideas of myself in relation to walking in pressure situations, and doing public speaking – instead of accepting and allowing myself to be honest with myself in seeing that I do not actually feel, and experience myself positive while walking these events – and that my idea of myself in my mind – as how I’d like to be – is not in-fact how it is that I exist within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and create an idea of myself as being able to be calm, directive, and effective when walking tests in school, and when doing public speaking assignments – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach situations with this false idea, and experience myself – and then go into panic, and self-judgment when it is that this idea, and false experience of myself as I do perform the public speaking, or the exam – immediately disappear and is replaced by nervousness in it’s nth degree

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it’s ludicrous to think that the idea, and experience that the mind presents within me – as to how I would apparently experience myself while walking a test, and walking a exam – is real, is valid – and would be my actual physical experience of myself while walking the point for real – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring myself back to the physical here – and work with, and walk with that which is real – that which is physical – that which is actual – that which is here and that I am able to see is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my mind more than what is here – more than common sense – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as I hear about, and realize that there is a exam, or public speaking event coming up – to go into excitement, imagining how effective I’ll be in the point – and how well I will walk the point – creating a entire alternative reality within myself – where it is that I am not HERE – and I am not working with, and walking with and as reality – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring myself back here to the physical – back to breath and instead of creating an experience of myself – to remain physical – remain as breath – remain as walking here in each and every moment and as such stand within and as – and be present here with and as reality and end all the delusion of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that just because I experience myself as positive towards a particular upcoming event – wherein I will face the point of the unknown – to believe that this is, and will be my actual physical experience of myself while facing, and walking the point of the unknown – and as such – and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I can’t trust my mind – that even though the mind presents a pretty picture to me – and happy, positive experiences – that this can’t in anyway show to me what is real – what is actual – and what trustworthy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bring myself back to what is real – and to as such not participate in any form of experience in relation to walking the point of facing the unknown – to as such not create any point of conflict within me – and to not create any bubbles within me as an idea of myself that must be burst

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it’s obvious common sense that simply because I experience a point as being positive – doesn’t mean that the actuality of the point is positive – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop any expectations, and experiences within myself in relation to facing the unknown – and instead walk with and direct myself in oneness and equality here as I face the unknown – to as such not create any ideas, and experience of facing the unknown – but walking the point directly – physically – here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create, and formulate and idea of myself as who I am in relation to me facing a point that is unknown – is thinking that I would be strong, I would be steadfast – and I would simply walk through the point without any fear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not deal with, and work with reality – because the reality of the situation is that when I face the unknown I become nervous, fearful, and experience anxiety – and I feel inferiority – as such this is what I must work with – not create more illusions within my mind – trying to create, and formulate a picture, fantasy, idea of myself – I mean what is the use of that? I need to work with myself – and I need to correct myself and I can only do that through being here in reality – and moving without judgment with and as that, which is actually here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I create a ideal me – as an idea of myself as who I want to be in my mind – I am going to create, and manifest a conflict within me – wherein the conflict will be me thinking that I am the ideal me – and being in conflict with the reality of who I am – as my physical and actual experience of myself in every moment of breath – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop creating ideal perceptions of myself in my mind – and instead commit myself to stick with reality – to stick with breath – to realize that thought can’t be trusted and that I must remain present and aware in every moment in order to be able to not fuck myself in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with myself – wherein I think that I should be fearless, and I should be assertive when I face the unknown – yet when I do face the unknown I go into nervousness, and fear – and in my mind I can’t comprehend, and understand this when it is that I’ve this belief in my mind saying that I should be assertive, and fearless – and so within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to learn the simple lesson, and to understand the simple point that – the mind can’t be trusted – the mind isn’t real – that mind is not physical it’s simply a interdimensional system that works by laws, and considerations that are not physical in nature – as such it’s simply ludicrous to consider the mind when moving myself in and as this physical reality – by the physical laws that this world, and reality consist of and as

Self –commitment statements

When it is that I see I am participating in an experience, and idea of myself as being effective, and strong, fearless, and assertive when it is that I am walking in a pressure situation – facing the unknown – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I can’t trust the mind reality – and obviously the mind reality as what I imagine in my mind me to be is not real – thus I am polarizing myself through separating myself from the real experience of me through creating a alternate reality of the false ideal experience of me; as such I commit myself to stop this alternate reality – and instead face the real, and actual truth of me – and correct, and re-align this truth of and as me

When it is that I am going into and as my idea of myself as being effective, as being fearless – and I go into and as excitement, and a state of superiority as feeling that – I am going to face, and walk through and completely ace this particular assignment, or exam – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that my experience of myself leading up to the exam – is not real – it’s a idea – a inflated ego idea that I have of myself that is only serving to through friction generate further negative experiences of myself in relation to facing myself in a pressure situation – facing the unknown; as such I commit myself to not participate in any experience of who, and what I am going to be in a moment of walking my exams, or doing public speaking – but to remain present – here – equal and one with and as my human physical body

When it is that I see I am going into a particular experience of myself – as feeling positive, and feeling invulnerable and is if I am able to do anything what-so-ever without anyone being able to stop – in relation to me doing my exams, or doing public speaking in school – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that whatever I feel – it’s not real – whatever I think – it’s not real – what is real is here with and my human physical body – and thus I must deal with – transcend – and move through reality – and correct what is actually here before I am able to in-fact express myself as a effective human being here within and as the physical as breath

When and as I see that I am going into my mind – using my mind to think about future events and who, what, and how I am going to live, and participate within and as these events – and I within this feel superior, excited, and more than – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that regardless of what occurs in my mind – regardless of how real it looks, or feels, or regardless of how much it speaks to me – it’s not real – it’s an idea in my mind proven by the fact that I can’t live the point physically here; as such I commit myself to bring myself back HERE – and to live physically HERE – to stand physically HERE – and to as such not be possessed or controlled – or in anyway defined by and as my mind

When it is that I see I am using my mind to discern – understand – and comprehend reality – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath, and bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I must by now have proven to myself – that the mind can’t be trusted – the mind is a fantasy machine and nothing more – as such I commit myself to practice in all ways always walk in practical reality as breath here – and not give into the temptations of the mind

I commit myself to walk with reality – and to deal with my actual physical experience, and expression of myself while facing the unknown – facing a pressure situation – and as such align myself with the physical instead of being caught in my mind as experience

When it is that I think, and believe that a positive experience – implies a positive reality – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that simply because a experience is positive – does not give me confirmation in anyway that reality is positive – and that the actual point is sorted and walked through – I mean it’s obvious common sense that the mind as a fantasy machine is not in touch with reality – and doesn’t function in such a way that it is to show me what is reality; as such I commit myself to not trust that a positive experience describes the state of a point – a positive experience is merely a positive experience – nothing more, and nothing less

When it is that I see I am creating an idea within myself, and a experience – that I would be strong, steadfast, assertive, and effective in walking through a uncertain point – a point wherein I would face the unknown – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust what goes on within me as my mind – and regardless – what I am doing in my mind instead of simply walking through the point here? I mean – will I be able to walk through the point more effectively through being in my mind more? No – obviously not – and as such I commit myself to stick with reality – to make this my MAIN priority – to be here in every moment and not let my mind take me on joy ride into the fantasies of self-interest that exist within my mind

When it is that I am creating a ideal me, and I see that I am within this polarizing myself in relation to reality – creating on the one hand an idea of myself as an ideal me – and on the other hand suppressing the real me – as the actual physical experience of me – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that creating, and forming these types of relationships in my mind results only in that I do not change the actual me – because I am busy believing that I am the fantasy ideal me that I can see in my mind – while that is not in-fact so; as such I commit myself to apply, and perfect the simple point of being HERE in reality – of breathing here – and working with what is here – it’s that simple

When and as I see that I go into a experience within my mind – thinking that I should be fearless, strong, without hesitation, and assertive – when I face the unknown as doing an exam, or walking public speaking – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t trust – and I can’t align myself with this fantasy – because as I can see when I do in-fact walk a point of the unknown – this mind-experience is not in-fact real – and it’s not me that I am seeing in my mind only a projection as a hope; as such I commit myself to remove any and all mind-delusions as experiences of who I think that I am – and instead I commit myself to live here – and be the best that I can possibly be in every moment of breath – to as such from the mind and into reality



User avatar
viktor
Posts: 1324
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 16 Jun 2013, 19:54

Day 34: Working With What Is Real
http://viktorpersson.com/2013/06/day-34 ... t-is-real/

In the last blog – which you can read HERE – I took a part nervousness from the perspective of seeing what positive experiences I’ve connected to me for example standing in front of my class holding a presentation, or writing my exams – and the reason for this is to remove my idea(L) that I have of myself – as to who I believe/want to be – and instead get down to the nitty gritty of working with how I in-fact experience myself when it is that I stand before many people, or I do my exams.

Thus – today I am going to work my actual physical experience when I do exams, or hold a presentation – and I will also simultaneously walk the point of stopping conflict within me – in seeing that I don’t have to fight the real experience of me because it apparently doesn’t coincide with my idea-experience of myself as how I think I should experience myself – I mean – there is no need to fight what I already exist and live as – instead it’s to understand, and get to know the real me – and then place myself in a position wherein I am able to actually and for real correct myself.

NervousnessBlogSo – how do I really experience myself in these situations? Well – I become physically tense, and go into nervousness – which results in me not being able to effectively deal with the situation. One of the reasons for this is because I don’t know who to be – I don’t know how to look – I don’t know how to present myself – I have no real foundation so to speak. This is though something I’ve already worked with when I’ve prepared myself for my exams – I’ve actually structured a systematic structure as a way which I am to answer questions – and I this was effective to keep me more stable in the moment of writing my exams. For example – in my structure I stated that I must read slowly, and be focused on the words that are written on the question I am given – I must not jump, and stress through the initial stage of reading the question because then I will miss important information; and as I applied this on my exams – I was actually much more stable.

So – establishing a foundation – a MEness – that is important because that is something I currently lack – and I see that this will be done through writing out a structured way as to how to walk the point, who I am within in, and what specifically I am going to do – and then walking this physically.

A second prominent point that comes up is fear of the unknown – because I can’t really prepare myself completely when I am facing an event such as an exam, or a presentation – because there is always that small point of a uncertainty – a probability that something might go wrong, and that I then as this happen – won’t be prepared to deal with the consequences effectively.

Thus – another important point to establish is self-trust – because I see that in standing as self-trust – I will not fear the unknown as I will trust myself to direct myself through the point of the unknown and deal with any situation that might emerge.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, and distrust myself in the face of the unknown – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to read a situation – and understand how a situation might respond to me – and what I must say, or do for the situation to respond to me in a way that I experience as being positive – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t trust myself – and that when I trust myself something will go wrong, and I won’t be able to correct the mistakes that flows from this wrongness

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having information as to what will happen if I say, or do a certain thing – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being blind so to speak, in not being able to calculate the consequences of my actions – and how others will see, and experience me – when it is that I act and live in particular ways – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, and perceive that I require information, knowledge, and being able to calculate future consequences in order to be “safe” and trust myself

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that trusting myself is something that happens to me when I am able to know what is going to happen in the future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone me trusting myself, and prevent me from trusting myself in thinking and believing that I must have something more – I must get something more – I must achieve something more – and I must wait before someone give me a permission that I am able to trust myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not BREATH – be HERE – and to get myself moving within and as oneness and equality as my human physical body – and stop waiting for someone, or something else to save me before I trust myself here

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that I am not yet mature enough to trust myself – and that trusting myself is something that comes, and happens with age – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of my fear, and my anxiety – and my worry, and my nervousness – and to see, realize, and understand that self-trust does not develop through waiting – but through me deciding, and willing myself to develop self-trust – through actually living and walking in such a way that I am able to trust that who I am is what is best for all – and that I will not compromise myself and fall prey to experiences, and illusions of and as the mind

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that I need, and require someone else to tell me that I am ready to trust myself – and that I am ready to go – so to speak – instead of accepting and allowing myself to say to myself that – hey! I am ready when I decide to be ready! And as such – I am able to decide here that I trust myself – and to stop fearing the unknown – to stop fearing trusting myself – and simply do it – and as such apply the statement of “just do it!” – because really that is what it all comes down to – to actually make the decision and walk the decision – and in-fact do it!

Self-commitment statements

1. When and as I feel, and experience that I can’t trust myself – because something will go wrong when I trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – the fact is that what I experience is – a experience! Thus – a experience indicates that what is coming up within me is coming from the mind – automatically activated without my direct movement, and decision – and thus it’s not trustworthy; as such I commit myself to not trust the experience of myself that I can’t trust myself because something will go wrong – and I commit myself to act – and decide to trust myself here in this moment

2. When and as I see, and notice that I experience fear trusting myself – because I think that I can’t trust myself if I am not able to know the consequences of my actions beforehand – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I can decide to trust myself regardless of the situation that I am in – or the point that I am facing – simply because it’s about SELF-trust – and not about OTHER-trust – and thus I commit myself to decide to trust myself – and see that it’s only me that can decide and walk this point for myself here

3. When and as I see, and notice that I think, and experience that I must wait with trusting myself – because I must have something more, achieve something more, and get someone to allow me to trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – it’s about me taking a decision and trusting myself – thus I can’t wait for my environment to change me – I must stand as the catalyst – I must stand as the start – and I must take the first step and not allow myself to wait anymore; as such I commit myself to practice trusting myself as a self-decision in the moment – that I walk regardless of what it is that I am facing here in this moment

4. When it is that I see I go into and as a belief that I can’t trust myself because I am not yet mature enough, and that I can’t direct myself to trust myself because this is something that happens with time, and as I grow older – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I mean – to believe that I will be able to trust myself more with time is simply an illusion – because look at most old people –they’ve also no self-trust and they’ve walked an entire lifetime in this world; as such I commit myself to stop using this excuse – to bring myself back here – and to see that I have to decide to trust myself – I have to stop waiting – and I have to actually do it because no one will do it for me

5. When and as I see that I am waiting to trust myself, because I feel that I have to have someone that tells me that – “okay, now you can trust yourself!” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point of deciding to trust myself is something that I must give to myself, and nobody will say to me ever that “now I can trust myself” and even if they do – the decision is still MINE because there is only ME inside of ME – thus only ME that can decide who I am – and what I will live, and stand as; as such I commit myself to make the decision to trust myself HERE and without waiting and postponing




Return to “7 Years Journey to Life”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron