Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Place your Blogs Here
User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 17 Jun 2013, 17:15

Day 35: Imperialism Is Fear ... m-is-fear/

Today the subject of imperialism will be discussed – as to what is imperialism – what is the problem? And how will we be solve these problems, and what rewards will there be for doing that?

Let’s begin with some background information on imperialism.

According to Wikipedia – the definition of imperialism is:

“Imperialism, as defined by the Dictionary of Human Geography, is "an unequal human and territorial relationship, usually in the form of an empire, based on ideas of superiority and practices of dominance, and involving the extension of authority and control of one state or people over another."[2] It is often considered in a negative light, as merely the exploitation of native people in order to enrich a small handful.[3]”

Thus – imperialism is in essence to act of a country, or group to subdue another country, or group with the intention to use their resources, and dominate them. In a way – it’s similar to how Marx explains the struggle between capitalists, and the working class – wherein the capitalists in essence subdue the working class – taking their time, and effort and profiting from this – leaving very little if none left of the profit for the working class; and this is what we’re facing in imperialism but on a more grand scale – as such capitalism on a country to country basis.

Because the fact is that as the industrialized revolution boomed in Europe – more resources was required to meet the demands of the industries – and thus new countries had to be sought out, and their resources pillaged, and brought back to the imperialist country to there be consumed – and this is for example why Africa is currently so far behind the western countries of Europe, and America – Africa has been in essence raped, and severely abused – all it’s resources stolen to satisfy the gluttony of western desires to consume more – fascinating – and still we as westerners have the stomach to proclaim that we’re benign and do care for the poverty, and general dismay that occurs in Africa – history proves that WE DO NOT – we only care about our profits and nothing else.

What is the essence of imperialism? Why does it occur? Who starts it, and where does it come from?

The essence of imperialism is fear – which becomes clear when you listen to Noam Chomsky’s seminar that is listed above – and this fear takes form in the statement of “we have to protect our families!” – “we have to ensure our countries future!” – “we have to make sure that we have enough resources to survive!” – and so human beings are driven by fear of survival to plunder, and lynch other countries to ensure their own future.

What tends to be used in order to justify this type of behavior is that a sort of shimmering, and positive meaning, and context is placed on top of the actual horrid events that take place in the name of imperialism – for example in the case of the USA’s invasion of Iraq, which is a perfect example of imperialism – the idea of freedom, liberty, and democracy has been used as the intellectual justification for the horrors committed – and thus fear is justified instead of being dealt with and corrected – fear is considered to be real, and of actual relevance and instead of daring to see the actual nature of imperialism – instead decision-makers and the populous of a country tends to see what makes them feel good about their own decisions.

So – imperialism occurs because of FEAR, and it’s allowed to occur through the fear being justified, and hidden through the mirage of benign intentions – one question that is interesting to ask is – where does this fear start? From where does the root of imperialism stem?

Looking at this point it’s obvious – that as with all psychological issues, and dysfunctions of the human race – it all begins in the early education of a child – in the family – and so – instead of human beings being taught to respect one another, and to stand without fear in meeting another – what is taught, and shown by parents is instead the example of fear – giving the example that apparently we must fear our neighbors, and that we can’t have any integrity, or actual moral values – because that is something our enemy will use against us, and then we won’t be able to survive.

From a young age we are indoctrinated to live in fear – and that is why our governments, and our decision-makers favor imperialism – as a way to protecting oneself from this fear and ensuring one’s future – though it’s obviously fascinating that this fear is never questioned – that the facts which we as human beings take for granted that has been told by our parents are never questioned, and really investigated as to whether they do have any actual validity – and I mean – in most cases – all that our parents have told us is simply a misunderstanding of what it means to live, and not a real and objective understanding of this physical reality and what it implies to be a fulfilled and effective human being on this earth – and thus – imperialism is a sickness of the past that visits upon the young children and becomes our future through ineffective education in the family – where the children becomes brainwashed to accept fear as their primary guideline in this life.

So, obviously imperialism is a HUGE problem – and one of the biggest problems is that it will not function as a way to establish effective survival for all human-beings on earth – even though that is it’s starting point – to ensure survival; but the fact is that what we fear – we create – so in fearing for our survival and in trying to remediate this fear through imperialism – we’ve made life on this earth even more unpredictable, and insecure – where life really has become a great casino where whether you win, or loose is determined by your place of birth – and whether you have money or not – and if you do not happen to be born in the right family, at the right time – then your life on this earth will be a certain hell where your survival will not be a given.

Thus – an assumption has been made that we are able to ensure our families, and our own survival through imperialism – yet this assumption is false, and does not reflect the actuality of reality – because the actual practical living of how to survive as a species does not entail competition, does not entail war, does not entail the destruction, and rape of entire populations – this is obvious – because when we use violence, and establish further inequality – we also make the environment a more hazardous place for ourselves as well.

As such – the problem with imperialism is that it’s NOT a effective policy with which to ensure the worlds future – it’s really a very crude, and ineffective method of trying to establish survival on very short terms – but where no stable, and real agreements between people are established that would ensure that continued support for all people where survival of all is in-fact achieved.

What has been missed in imperialism? Well – what has been missed is the fact that real stability, and effectiveness in living can only be achieved through considering the WHOLE – and through working TOGETHER as a TEAM instead of fighting each-other as opponents.

I mean – it’s simple common sense – that in in a situation where two people are fighting each other over the food available – one of them will loose out and not be able to survive. Where instead in a situation where people are helping each other to grow crops, and together divide the food according to each his need – both will benefit – and both will be able to ensure their survival.

Thus – the solution is that the education of our children must change – from parents teaching, and showing that competition is the way to ensure one’s survival in this world – to instead showing, and teaching that working together – that respecting one’s neighbor and giving as one would like to receive is the key to ensure one’s survival on this earth – and that life on earth can never be truly fulfilling – and truly perfect unless EVERYONE are cared for – and all potential reasons for violence, mistrust, and destruction are prevented and removed from the face of earth.

In essence – what we must begin to live is consideration and care – and dare to stand as this way of living and not anymore honor fear and distrust as the principle by which we live – but instead dare to be the first the stand up and live the paradigm-shift that is required in order for humanity to move unto a new era where survival is not anything you have to fight for – it is a given.

Really – the paradigm-shift that must happen is an internal shift – wherein we stop to honor fear – and instead start to live with integrity – and self-respect – implying that we do not anymore accept and allow ourselves to be swung around and deterred by any form of experience that comes up within. And so – we stop to attempt and try to abuse, and subdue those around us for our own enlightened self-interest – and we instead start to live with care, consideration, and humility – the base principles upon which we’re able to create a new future – heaven on earth.

In a way – I am able to see how I’ve lived the personality, and character of imperialism in my own life – since a young age I’ve been determined to win, and considered those around me as mere obstacles to me ensuring my success in this world – but due to me having committed to walk the process of self-change with Desteni I Process – I’ve slowly but surely started to change this behavior of mine, and thus I am able to see what the rewards are for stopping imperialism on an individual basis – as I’ve experienced it myself.

The point that I’ve experienced the most rewarding for stopping fear of survival, and from changing the way I view and see other people in my world – is that I’ve begun to appreciate, and be genuinely interested in the life’s of others – people are not anymore something that I fear, judge, and see as my competitors – no they are living beings with their own unique individuality – their own life-story – considerations – applications – talents, and faults – and so within stopping the imperialistic nature of fear – I’ve in-fact been able to really begin to see, and get to know others – and within this also enjoy the company of others.

This has also allowed me to use competition, and comparison constructively – in being able to be honest with myself in seeing what others are doing more effective than what I am – in seeing what I’d like to live that others are living – and instead of going into jealousy, and fear as I’ve seen another being effective at a particular point – I’ve instead been able to simply use this other human being as a point of inspiration – and learn from another – thus making my life and living more effective.

On a global level – stopping imperialism will allow for real stability to grow forth – a lasting, and long-term stability that will ensure the comfortable survival of human beings on this earth for an entire lifetime – without fears, anxieties, crisis, wars, and other creations of a twisted and fear infested mind. We would grow up in this world and know that we had everything we needed, and that nobody was going to take from us what we needed, and that we weren’t going to take from another what they needed – because we’d live and apply the simple understanding that together we are strong, and divided we are weak – and that only through working with each other are we able to ensure that life on this earth will be worth living for everyone.

Obviously in order for us to get to this place – where we are able to reap the rewards of our change we must understand the importance of giving – and seeing that giving is the basis of receiving – and that this is why our current economical system is collapsing leaving millions of people unemployed and not able to support themselves financially – we must pay another for his or her service or product – we must acknowledge the worth that another place into his or hers labor – because from within that there will be more money in circulation in our money system – which will allow for more consumption – that in turn will allow for more receiving – and thus – no more FREE stuff – no more price-races – no more competition – what instead must become the norm of the human race is seeing our world holistically – as a whole – and within that giving as we’d like to receive – within the understanding that what we are giving we will also be receiving – common sense.

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 23 Jun 2013, 21:15

Day 36: Liberalism – Freedom vs. Principled Freedom ... d-freedom/

In this blog I am going to take a closer look at liberalism – and answer the questions – what is liberalism? And what is the problem with liberalism, and how can this be changed into a solution, and what will be the rewards for walking such a solution?

Firstly – what is liberalism?

This is taken from Wikipedia:

Liberalism (from the Latin liberalis) is a political philosophy or worldview founded on ideas of liberty and equality. Liberals espouse a wide array of views depending on their understanding of these principles, but generally they support ideas such as free and fair elections, civil rights, freedom of the press, freedom of religion, free trade, and private property.

According to my research on this subject – which involves primarily the opinions, and ideas of Chris Hedges, and Noam Chomsky – what I am able to see is that Liberalism is a very complex, and wide array of beliefs that intermingle – shape shift – and ultimately comes out very differently depending upon whom it is that is explains the point of liberalism. Thus I will here give the point liberalism a very simple definition that I am going to work with – and that is that liberalism is the drive towards equality between human beings, without a authoritarian state – where human-beings are allowed to express themselves according to their free will, and compete on the marketplaces of the world without stifling regulations – in essence be free so to speak.


According to my understanding – the idea of liberalism is primarily based upon the desire that each human being is to be free to decide his own life without anyone telling him, or her what to do – thus the epitome of free choice – each human being completely free to decide who, and what they are going to be in this world.

The problem I see with this approach is that allowing everyone to be completely free – also means the one accepts and allow abuse to take part in this world. I mean – that is the definition of free – EVERYTHING is allowed and there are no boundaries, no rules, no principles, and no guidelines – if you want to become super-rich – go for it! Or, if you want to get children, and raise them to become your slaves to take care of you when you’re old – then go for it! Or, if you want and desire become a pedophile and satisfy your innermost hidden desires – then go for it!

The obvious problem with this is that such a notion of freedom can’t exist without harm, and suffering – in-fact – the world we see today is the results of freedom given to individuals to determine themselves, and their lives without any practical principles being decided upon as limits for the freedom one is allowed to exercise – because obviously there must be such a principle for a society to exist wherein all participants have a fulfilling, and dignified life.

Thus – the problem with unrestricted freedom is that it does not have an outcome that is best for all – it has an outcome of simply allowing people to do what they want no matter the consequences of their actions – and for our world to be safe, secure, and without unpredictable events – such a unrestrained freedom can’t be allowed to exist – thus freedom must be restrained through principles – there must be boundaries that make free will, and free choice be not completely free – but free to the extent where it does not cause anyone harm.

Let’s take a practical example – imagine a country where there is no laws – and no principles – there is complete, and total freedom; here on individual decides to become drunk, and then take his car and go driving. While driving this individual due this drunken state by mistake hit’s a child that become paralyzed for the rest of his life; this is not an outcome that is acceptable for a effective, and honorable society – because this is a freedom that comes at the expense of beings sacrificing their lives and well-being for another human-being to be free to make harmful, and destructive decisions.

If we look at how the current financial system functions – we’re able to see how the freedom given to people to make money by any means necessary is having tremendously harmful effects for certain other people – wherein through the stock-markets of the world – prices of resources, and the economies of countries are being used as pawns in a giant casino gamble – where from one day to another – an entire country can collapse and fall into ruins due to a wealthy person placing his money in such a way as to manipulate the pricing of particular resources. This type of freedom is not acceptable – as it’s a freedom that cause HARM – and cause people to live lives of uncertainty, and fear – instead of a life that is best for them.

As such – what can be concluded is that – the problem with liberalism is that unrestrained freedom have consequences that are not acceptable – and can’t be accepted and allowed in this world.


What is the solution? How can liberalism be aligned so that it isn’t harmful? As I see it the point that must change for liberalism to be effective is that freedom must change so that it’s instead of free-freedom – instead principled freedom. Which means that instead of one being able, and allowed to do exactly everything that one want to do – one is only allowed, and able to do that which one want to do but that isn’t harmful, or destructive for anyone else. So – freedom to the extent where it’s not harmful.

If one on the one hand take a look at this principled freedom – it’s actually more free than normal free-for-all freedom – because in the normal free-for-all freedom there must always be a winner, and a looser – the winner get’s to experience his freedom – yet at the expense of another that loose his freedom – and that can’t be called real freedom – it should instead be called bullying, or abuse – because that is in essence what it is.

Principled freedom on the other hand does not have any side-effects as harm – an example of living out principled freedom would be that one decide to go and take a bath one afternoon – and obviously taking a bath doesn’t harm anyone – and thus it’s a principled decision that one is free to make and it doesn’t infer on anyone else’s freedom – because one do not require a slave to go and take a bath.

In relation to trade, and economics – free-trade must change into principled free-trade – which means that we’re not anymore allowed to manipulate prices on false values of supply and demand – because this many times places the producer of the product into a state of poverty – because when the price is able to be deflated, or inflated upon the basis of rumors on the market – then that is obviously a point of freedom that is abusive, and harmful – when it means that the one selling his product can’t place food on the table for his family that night – because he wasn’t paid anything for the crops he sold.


The rewards for changing the liberalism and it’s primary component of freedom – from free-for-all freedom – to principled freedom – is that we can now as a humanity begin to trust one another – because not anymore will we have to be afraid that suddenly someone is going to stab a knife in our back as they decide to “live out their freedom” – because now there won’t exist any personalized idea of freedom that is harmful for the whole – freedom will be aligned to what is best for all – as principled freedom.

And as for trade – here we will have the reward that trade will not anymore be a gamble – and as a producer you won’t fear being scammed, and receive absolutely crap pay for what you’ve created – because the freedom to utilize various means to manipulate prices – will not be allowed anymore – as such a freedom do have consequences that are harmful for the greater whole.

With principled freedom becoming the landmark for humanity – we will have a world that is safe for our children to grow up in because harm will not be allowed to take place in the name of freedom, and free choice.

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 24 Jun 2013, 19:48

Day 37: Colonialism – From Crusades To Mutual Sharing and Exploration ... ploration/

In this blog I will explore that concept, and practice of colonialism – and ask the questions – what is the problems with colonialism? How to change colonialism into a solution? And what will be the rewards for giving colonialism a solution that is best for all?

According to Wikipedia – colonialism is defined as:

Colonialism is the establishment, exploitation, maintenance, acquisition and expansion of colonies in one territory by people from another territory. It is a set of unequal relationships between the colonial power and the colony and between the colonists and the indigenous population.

Thus – colonialism is the practice of one country in essence taking control of another country – and using that colony in order to supply the home country with resources. The concept is closely related to imperialism – though the distinction can be made that – imperialism is the ideology, and colonialism the practice of seizing land from other people for purposes of enrichment.


The problem with colonialism is obvious – in essence it’s a form of theft – wherein one country by force take control of another country – suppressing democracy, and the voice’s of the indigenous population – taking their resources, and disabling the self-sustaining economy of the country – so that the first country (home-country) can have more. This is obviously a problem because the results of this type of practice is that the people of the colonized country will experience much hardship, and suffering – and even though colonialism is now regarded as a event of the past – the consequences of this practice still echo into our day and time – wherein almost all the countries that once upon a time was colonized – now experience dysfunctional economies, and ineffective systems of government.

I mean –it’s obvious common sense that one do not go and steal the livelihood of another person and claim that as one’s own – simply because one want to have more – it’s a unacceptable practice because in the process one destroy the lives of others. Here we can apply the principle of do unto another, as you’d like to be done unto yourself – and within this it’s easy to see that colonialism is not something that we’d like to be done unto ourselves. Imagine that tomorrow a man enters your home – and say’s that your home is now not yours anymore – but is the property of some king in a far-distant country – and that you now may only use the toilet as your home, because the rest of the apartment is confiscated and is now the resource of this king. Would you like that? I mean – I know that I wouldn’t like that very much at all – and as such it’s clear that colonialism is a crime against human rights – the right to have a home, and to be able to govern yourself, and have access to that which you need, and require to live a dignified life.

So – why did colonialism occur? As I see it – colonialism is the product of one thing, and one thing only – greed! And what supported this greed to take root, and become a entire way of living is a lack of consideration, care, and respect for other people – their needs, and cultural heritage. Thus – really – colonialism is the product of ineffective education – because obviously those people that decided to colonize must have been taught as youngsters that it’s completely okay to ravage, and pillage another’s belongings for your own self-interest – at least as long as you’ve some justification for doing it – such as – I did it for my country! Or, I did it because I must survive!

But really – harming others for one’s own survival, or because some type of monarchy give an order is not an acceptable cause – and it simply indicates how brainwashed we as children become to make up all kinds of really insubstantial stories in our mind’s in order for us to go out and commit the most horrid crimes.

We only have to look at history to see human beings – for no apparent practical reason – leaving their home to conquer, and expand their empires – and using some really stupid justification to do so – for example – in Europe during the dark ages people left their home’s and went down to Arabia and fought battles, and conquered land – apparently as a “holy crusade” – because apparently god told them to do so – I mean – that’s a terrible justification – god? What god? Really it was all about the MONEY and that Europeans desperately wanted, and desired some of that Arabic gold to hang in their living room – and feel really cool about all the battles that they’d won.

So – colonialism is really a disease that springs from greed, fear, and also – stupidity – which is equal to brainwashing – as parents tend to make their children very stupid as they teach them all the cultural brainwashing as justifications to enable them to commit crimes of atrocity.

The question we should ask ourselves is – why haven’t we utilized the notion of traveling to other places to SUPPORT and HELP people? To instead of taking from them – GIVING – sharing our technological advancements, and our cultural life supportive traits – to as such form a cool and mutually beneficial relationship with the other country?


Colonialism implies that people from different cultures, upbringings, and backgrounds meet each other – there is a cultural exchange – and this is how colonialism could be changed into a SOLUTION as a having a outcome that is BEST FOR ALL – instead of colonialism being the barbaric plundering of another persons home.

Because – consider for example the Spanish, and Portuguese as they sailed over the Atlantic and met the Indians in South America – what did they do? Well – the successfully managed to destroy an entire nation, and kill most of the indigenous population – BUT – what could they have done instead? They could have arrived as explorers, and ambassadors of another civilization – with open arms – with one objective – to give as they’d like to receive – to give to the South Americans those things that made the Spanish, and the Portuguese effective in their day-to-day living – and within this the South Americans could have shared their realizations, insights, and understandings in relation to effective day-to-day living – and within this we’d have an expansion, and growth of human excellence – as two worlds come together and share with each-other that which makes them effective.

This is also a point we can use in our own day-to-day lives – to consider that in meeting new people, and in seeing that which is effective, honorable, and respectable with another’s way of living – to instead of becoming jealous at them, and competing with them – learn from them – ask them – “Hey, I’ve seen that you do this thing very effectively – exactly how is it that you do?” – and within this we could instead of seeing our traits, and skills as our personal belongings that is for us, and us only – share them with those in our world that we see can become more effective in regards to those particular skills and qualities; within this we would have GROWTH and we’d have EXPANSION.

Because we didn’t do this as we met other cultures, and discovered new land – we now have a world that is divided – where racial hatred, and discrimination rules – instead of mutual sharing, and learning – and that is obviously really sad, and regrettable – BUT – we can still CHANGE!

The solution is always here – what is required is that we live it – and decide to give regardless of whether anyone else decide to do so as well – and as such we stand as the example of what it means to be a considerate, caring, and loving human being – a human being that love’s on a whole other level than merely through emotions, and feelings – but a PRACTICAL, and TANGIBLE love – that can be seen in the form of actual gifts, sharing, and non-judgmental communication – wouldn’t that be a awesome way to live?


How come the Chinese people are so effective in collectivistic movement? How come the finish people have the best schools in the world? How come the Germans are so disciplined and steadfast? I mean – these are just generalizations – but the point I want to make here is that – if we’d instead of competing with other nations, and people of different cultures come to them without any bias or secretive agenda – we could instead LEARN and EXPAND ourselves – and take that which we see others do really, really good – and apply it in our own life’s – and make the skill, and ability we see in another our own; and this would be the reward for stopping the process of colonization – and changing colonization into equal sharing – communication – and mutual learning.

As a world – we could expand and walk through, and correct lot’s of the problems we face today – as all the collective understanding of the world is used, and applied – coming together for one purpose – to create a world that is best for all in every way. We’d have a world with no more wars – with no more discrimination – with no more genocide – and with no more theft crusades of greed – we’d instead have a world of a mutual respect, and consideration between people, cultures, and countries – and as such – fear would be NO MORE.

Wouldn’t that be something? A world with no more fear – no more war – and no more distrust – that is where I want to live.

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 25 Jun 2013, 14:08

Day 38: Totalitarianism, Media and Free Thinking Individuals ... dividuals/

In this blog I am going to examine the political phenomena of totalitarianism – and within this also the closely related variety called authoritarianism. I will look at what is the problem with these political ideologies, and what possible solutions there are to correct these problems, and also look at what rewards will come through correcting these problems.

Firstly – what is totalitarianism?

According to Wikipedia – totalitarianism is:

Totalitarianism (or totalitarian rule) is a political system in which the state holds total authority over the society and seeks to control all aspects of public and private life whenever necessary.

Totalitarianism is as such the political dispensation of attempting to gain full, and complete control over the citizen’s of a country – wherein all aspects of society is controlled – education, media, economy, communications, family life – everything! An example of a totalitarian society is Germany during the rule of Adolf Hitler – which was a strictly controlled wherein conformity was demanded by all citizens to the political rule by the Nazis.


One of the major problems with totalitarianism is that it suppresses the creativity, and life force of the citizens of a country – and instead of critical thinking, and diversity being cultivated, and supported – instead only one particular way of thinking is supported and considered “right”.

We as westerners might think that we live in a free democracy, but if we take a close look at the set-up of our political machinery – it’s possible to see traits of totalitarianism. This though is a more secretive application of totalitarianism that is founded upon psychological manipulation, cognitive disinformation, wage-slavery, and a highly biased, and ineffective education system that see to it that children are dumbed down, and do not develop effective critical thinking skills to question the various hazardous dogmas that are currently accepted as a part of our political constitution.

An example of how media is used in our society in order to promote a particular way of thinking to manipulate the masses to have a certain idea, and definition of particular events can be found for example when looking at how the Iraqi war was sold to the public. Here the press merely regurgitated what the leaders of the western world claimed to be true with no attempt to cross-reference, and clarify whether it was in-fact true that Iraq was developing chemical weapons of warfare.

Another example can be found in the NATO attack on Libya to remove Muammar Gaddafi from power – a campaign that through a media slandering campaign on Gaddafi gained the support of the western masses. It’s fascinating because when investigating the deeds of Gaddafi more closely, and not only relying upon western media – it’s easy to see that Gaddafi was a benevolent leader that did much to support his people, and alleviate poverty. One of the primary reasons as to why he was targeted was because he was anti-imperialistic, and actually nationalized the oil-reserves of Libya and managed to through that raise the living standards significantly; really – looking at the point objectively Libya before the war had a much more effective social welfare system than that of America.

So – even though we in the western countries might consider ourselves “free” and “intellectually enlightened” – we’re really being fooled, and manipulated by fear, and nationalistic impulses – and lies such as freedom, democracy are used as a reason for the military interventions – while really – all the military effort we’ve seen spread across the world the last 50 years has not been the will of the people – it’s the will of specialized interests controlling the government through corporate profits – and as such the government has become nothing more but the guard dog of the corporation – ready to by force coerce anyone stupid enough to take a stand against the brutal and savage crusade for more, and more money that the corporations of the world have set out upon.

The current definition of totalitarianism does as such not consider this more secretive, and hidden application of totalitarianism – that is applied through effective manipulation of the human mind – the so-called manufacturing of consent.

Obviously this approach to ruling is disrespectful towards the people of a country that are not allowed to share their perspective, and let themselves make informed and effective decisions – and that is the essence of the problem with totalitarianism – it suppresses the individual and his freedom to live a fulfilling, and creative life. Because let’s not forget that society consists of a multitude of individuals – all different from each-other in that we share different interests, preferences, skills, abilities, considerations, and desires – we all do not want to live the same life – everyone doesn’t like to play music as I do – though this point is not understood and applied in a totalitarian society.

The consequence of the individual not being considered, and protected is that we have a society of numbers – where we do not dare to see beyond the numbers seeing that for each number there is a intricate, and complex human life – that is born into this world not to suffer but to live a fulfilling and enjoyable life – this is why each and every individual should be catered to live his or her life of preference – to the extent where such a preference do not harm another human-being – as that is the application of principled freedom, as a freedom that is beneficial and expansive and do not have any nefarious consequences.

Another consequence we have when the individual is not considered is that we constantly have these small fractions of a society that feel they are mistreated, and not considered – creating division, and competition between citizens – instead of creating our political rule in such a way that everyone is considered and giving the basic needs to fulfill their preferences and live a life that is enjoyable.


I’ve already touched on the solution for totalitarianism – though – let’s first consider some points with totalitarianism that are effective – one of these points is the demand for one attitude, and one way of looking at things – now – this is only bad when the demand is shaped, and formed from within a thwarted and opinionated starting point. For example Hitler demanded anti-semitism from his countrymen – and this was obviously a extremely flawed, and ineffective way of ruling a country. Yet – consider that instead of using totalitarianism to pursue interests that are inherently flawed – to instead pursue interests that are BEST FOR ALL; meaning – to implement in the constitution of a country a provision stating that all decisions by the government and the legislative body must be proven to be WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL – and within this we are thus using the principle of totalitarianism in order to support to create a society where no one is harmed, and where it’s made certain that all political decisions will be made within integrity and with respect for the citizens of the country.

Thus – a solution in order to change totalitarianism from being a complete fuck-up as it is today – in order to become a supportive political agenda that promotes what is best for all – is to change the starting point of totalitarianism – from wanting to rule for the sake of ruling – to instead ruling for the sake of what is best for all – utilizing such political points as the constitution in order to make sure that certain values are always protected and defended and that no minority can claim power and abuse the majority for their own self-interested reasons.

A part from this point – totalitarianism really does not have much to offer – it’s a limited, and inferior perspective on how to rule a country – because the consequence of the point when applied without the starting point to create what is best for all – is that individuals ability to express themselves diminish, and suddenly we have a society filled with zombies, and drones that can’t think for themselves – and that blindly trusts everything the government says because of fear, and also because they simply can’t think for themselves anymore.

Thus – in order for a society to be effective – there must be real democracy – because through this we are able to utilize the full spectrum of human insight that is available in a country in order to bring forth the best policy-decisions, the best political structures, and the best use of societies resources – and no more will the direction of a country be poisoned with the malfunctioning, and limited ideas of only one person – because really a country is meant to be ruled by everyone and not by a single person – it’s not even possible for a single person to see, and have all information about a country to see exactly what requires to be done – and what decisions must be made – thus the importance of including everyone and make no one more than another.


The rewards for utilizing the principle of totalitarianism in order to set a single unifying standard for the entirety of society – as making sure that all political decisions will stand by what is best for all – is that we will not anymore have policy decisions made that favor some and disregard others. We will not anymore have a society wherein some are dissatisfied and others aren’t – because within all decisions – everyone – all needs – all points will be considered and none will be rejected and shut out.

Within this we’ll much with much likelihood see a much more solidary society grow forth – wherein politics, and the direction of the country become a point of priority for everyone and not only for a few selected elites – and within this a stability will come to the fore – because when each and everyone’s needs are considered there won’t anymore be a driving dissatisfaction in some that leads to uprisings, violence, and political instability – because the political body will make sure that all voices are heard, considered, and regarded.

And obviously – within stopping totalitarianism – both the hidden version as media-totalitarianism, and the more open version – we’ll see free thinking individuals emerge – as individuals that are able to deduct their reality through the use of common sense – looking at what will be the best and then making a decision without being influenced by what anyone else might say, or not say to them. We will as such have a society grow forth of self-independent individuals that can’t be manipulated into committing crimes against human rights because some leader, or the television have given them various emotional-based reasons as to why to do it – but instead individuals will trust themselves, and make informed decisions that have an outcome as what is best for all.

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 27 Jun 2013, 22:34

Day 39: Let Capitalism Become Really ”BIG” (Basic Income Guarantee) ... eally-big/

This blog will be dedicated to investigating the widely known economic ideology of capitalism – an ideology that has both been cheered, and slandered for several decades. I will look at what the problem is with capitalism, what possible solutions there are, and what rewards there will be for taking these solutions into practical action.

But first – what is capitalism?

Wikipedia gives capitalism the following definition:

Capitalism is an economic system characterized by private or corporate ownership of capital assets and goods. In a capitalist economy, investors are free to buy, sell, produce, and distribute goods and services with at most limited government control, at prices determined primarily by a competition for profit in a free market. Central elements of capitalism include capital accumulation, competitive markets, and a price system.

Thus – capitalist is an idea based upon the notion that the capital should be able to decide for itself where it is to be placed – based upon the premise that when capital is allowed to move freely – it will naturally re-locate to places where it is in greatest demand as this will produce the biggest amount of profit and thus produce the biggest amount of benefit for the people.


The absolutely biggest problem with capitalism is that competition does not work as an effective motivator for human beings to create benefit for society – though this is the general idea. It’s thought that competition between businesses, and companies will bring forth the most effective products, and the most ingenious inventions – the reality of the matter though is a completely different story.

The competition that is the basis of capitalism doesn’t occur in a supportive, and effective manner – because it’s not the skill of business, or the quality of their products that are competing – no – it’s each business ability to make profit and earn money that is pitted against each other. Fascinatingly enough being able to make lot’s of money is not at all related to whether you’re in-fact supplying an effective product or service – it’s instead based upon one’s effectiveness to manipulate the human mind to a state of decision to buy – and the most successful businesses have developed extremely intricate way’s of ensure that they gain control over the human being’s buying button.

Consider for example the company coca-cola – obviously the beverage the coca cola makes isn’t effective for the human body at all. It’s simply massive amounts of salt, and sugar mixed together which is in-fact directly harmful to the body – yet still the coca-cola company is one of the most successful businesses in this world – I wonder why?

The reason why is simple – coca-cola have branded themselves effectively, and they’ve created their beverage to be addictive – which in other words means that they’ve manipulated human beings to experience a need to buy the coke without there in-fact being such a need – creating this experience of a need through effective advertising utilizing sex, positive imagery, and other type of stimuli that support the human’s desire to buy; as such – coca cola is the perfect example of how the competition for profit doesn’t produce more effective products, or more effective companies – but instead criminals that will do whatever it takes to win, and defeat the competition and earn that extra buck.

There are lots of similar examples – companies producing products that on a closer look are completely worthless yet designed in such a way as to manipulate the human being into buying them as such allowing the company to make a killing.

It’s fascinating that capitalism by many are considered, and revered as an effective ideology for the creation of new concepts, inventions, and products – but really – all capitalism have served to create have been more, and more effective ways to make profits – which have not included any regard for the development of more effective products – instead cheaper products, cheaper labor power, cheaper manufacturing, and more effective advertising – all to make sure that the product that is sold has been created in such a way that it brings the ultimate amount of profit to the company.

For society capitalism have been directly harmful – because there has been so many products, and so many business ventures that by design have been malicious – that still have been sold, and promoted in society and been able to establish themselves – even though the cost of this have been many human lives. I mean – consider the fact that medical companies have knowingly sold hazardous “medicine” – obviously this hasn’t been because they wanted to produce the most effective medicine – it’s been because they wanted to make profit and to attain this purpose it didn’t matter that a few would have to sacrifice their lives.

So – this is the greatest, and most obnoxious flaw with capitalism – it’s complete dedication to the destructive competition of whom will get the most money.


What is the solution?

Well – competition for money is the problem, and this problem is largely based upon the fact that we really do have to earn money in today’s world else we will not be able to survive. This serves to drive the competition, and concurrence for money – which in turn force companies to become even more focused on their profit as attaining more, and more money – at the cost of the public good. Thus – through establishing a basic income grant – an unconditional and sufficient income for each human being to live an effective and fulfilling life – much of the drive for money that lies at the root of entrepreneurship today, will be gone – and as such we will be able to see companies taking form that do not have the ultimate purpose of making more money, but instead have the purpose creating of products, and giving services that are effective, worthwhile – and desirable, and practical to own.

I mean – the if one take the essence of the idea of capitalism – which is that capital is to naturally move to the point where it services the greatest benefit for the whole – because the best product will naturally be in demand the most, and thus be the most lucrative point to invest one’s money into – it can be concluded that this idea could be used in order to bring through benefit for the people – and generate value for the public good – what must be removed from capitalism is the point of psychological manipulation that today is used in order to manufacture demand. I mean – demand shouldn’t be allowed to be manufactured through manipulative advertisement but instead the product, or service in itself – as what it in-fact represents should be the only advertisement allowed. If capitalism is directed in such a way – it will mean that only the best products, and the best services – as those products and services that are in the highest demand – will receive most capital, as the most investments – and thus this product will be able to be even more effectively fine-tuned to be a product that is truly worthwhile.


The rewards of changing capitalism – to not anymore allow the manufacturing of consent, as the manufacturing of public opinion – through manipulative ads the utilize sex, jealousy, comparison, and desire in order to generate sales – will be that the products that we as a humanity really need, and that are really useful – will be in every home.

Another point that must also change – is that the profit a company makes must not be based upon abusing labor to lower prices – the competition can’t be allowed to take place on such a shallow level as who makes the cheapest product – instead the best product regardless of it’s price should be the product that get’s attention and that is delivered to humanity as a whole. The problem here is that most of humanity do not have sufficient with money to invest in the best products because they are forced into poverty due to place of birth – such as what economic ability the family have, or the country that the child is born into. This will be corrected through implementing, and giving to all a basic income guarantee – this will allow all the ability to consume the goods that is best and not anymore will there be the need to look for the cheapest, and least valuable goods.

The reward here is that wage-slavery will end – because now labor will be given the value it deserves as products are priced correctly according to the amount of effort, and time that went into actually creating, and developing the product – this will mean more money in society – and as such more consumption – allowing even more capital to flow in the world system and be assigned to the corporations and companies that do produce the most effective products, and give the most effective services. Over-all we’ll due to this end up with a society that is highly advanced with products, and services that are durable, well thought through, and effective – which assists and supports humanity as a whole to reach, and align themselves with and as their ultimate potential of being the best that they can be.

Within this it’s fascinating to see that – even though capitalism have been so harshly criticized through-out the years as the evil spawn that is directly responsible for the state within which the earth, and humanity as a whole finds itself in today – capitalism could be changed to be a supportive ideology, as a natural way of public voting through purchasing-power, wherein the best products, and the most effective companies get’s the most votes, as money – and are as such supported to prosper, and grow. A outflow of this will be that for those people that truly have a product that they see is effective and that they want to give to humanity – and at the same time earn money – they will be able to do so and their product will get the money it deserves; and not anymore will ineffective products be allowed on the market, and remain there only because of immoral psychological manipulation. Within this the economy as a whole will become more substantial, and actually produce substantial value that is of benefit for all life on earth.

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 02 Jul 2013, 18:30

Day 40: Continuing With Nervousness ... rvousness/

Today I listened to the interview “Finalising Nervousness Support” – and the point that hit home with me was the nervousness is most-often caused by lack of preparation.

This made me consider a few points in relation to my studies – because as I’ve shared in this blog I’ve experienced much nervousness in relation to walking my exams, and writing the final test – and this nervousness did occur this time around as well. So – when I began to considered the point that nervousness is very much related to one’s level of preparation – I realized that one dimension of my nervousness in relation to my exams might have to do with a problem with my vocabulary – and that the reason I do experience nervousness in relation to my exams is because it’s me actually showing myself that I’ve not integrated the vocabulary of the course effectively, with clarity, and specificity.

As I looked on this point – I utilized some memories from the past of when I’ve written my exam before, because by now I’ve written the term-exam 5 times already – and I compared my various study techniques, and then also looked at my experience of nervousness in relation to then at a later stage writing the exam. What I could see was that when I’d utilized the study technique of writing the information down – that was the exam that I’d experienced myself the least nervous, and also the exam on which I’d received the best results – fascinating!

This “finding” so to speak also correlates with what I’ve recently learned about “the natural learning ability” of the human being – and how we as human beings integrate information the most effectively. Writing information down is one of these physical practical points that give’s the physical body a opportunity to work with the information for real – and which also establish a more effective output – because in only reading information what one do is that one establish an ineffective input. So – I will cross-reference these points during my next term, and accordingly spend much more time writing information than I’ve done before – to see what the effect of this will be, and whether this will allow me to integrate the information more effectively.

Okay – that was what I had to share about my findings in relation to the natural learning ability, vocabulary effectiveness, and it’s influence on my experience of nervousness – though this is not the only dimension that affects my experience of nervousness. There are three words that I see play a role in my nervousness-experience – these are “unknown”, “unexpected”, “unplanned” – and these points are also much related to the experience of stress – which there is a cool interview about that you can hear here. So – in essence I will dedicate my self-forgiveness in this blog towards investigating my relationship towards these three words, and also apply commitment statements – as to how to correct my relationship with these words so that I can study in the stability, and silence of breath – and do my exams in the stability and silence of breath – with no movement within me what-so-ever.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear of the unknown, a fear of that which I can’t control, and can’t foresee – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into nervousness, and stress when and as I don’t have a complete control over my reality – and I do not know exactly what is going to happen in the next moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I do not have complete control, complete mastery over my physical reality – and that I can foresee everything that will happen in my world – that I am vulnerable to destruction, and annihilation – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my fear of the unknown, my fear of the unexpected, and my fear of the unplanned – through thinking that I am protecting myself by holding unto this fear – and that this fear helps me to be effective in living – while really – the opposite is true – because what I fear I create – which is so because in living as fear – I am not seeing, and utilizing common sense in my direct movement here – and thus the likelihood of me creating compromising situations, and moments for myself is much greater

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear, and anxiety towards letting go of control – and trusting myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate control to self-trust – not realizing the self-trust is not dependent upon control – because self-trust stands regardless of external stimuli movements – as self-trust is a point that is developed, and created by self – and as such not dependent upon a particular external point to move, or exist in a particular way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, anxiety, and nervousness towards not being able to foresee whether my life will be “happy” or filled with struggles, and strife’s – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto control, and stress – and nervousness – in thinking, and believing that this increases my likelihood of experiencing a “happy” life – not seeing the simple common sense – that living within anxiety, stress, and nervous I can’t ever be in anyway “happy” – as I will constantly exist in a worry, and state of fear – that something is going to occur and happen that I do not have any form of control over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being powerless, and unable to impose change on my life, and reality – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto stress, and nervousness – thinking that when I hold unto these experiences I will at least be able to protect myself from having a situation manifest wherein I am powerless, or unable to change my reality – not realizing that stress, and nervousness are mental experiences and not a physical practical and useable skill that assists me in moving myself effectively in my life – and thus completely irrational experiences that do not help to assure my physical well-being in this world, and reality what-so-ever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason I fear loosing power, and loosing control – is because I’ve not allowed myself to create these words as living words of and as myself – but that I’ve allowed myself to define these words as my ability to manipulate, and control my exterior reality – not realizing that this is not power, and this is not control – it’s merely a form of physical movement bound by the laws of the physical reality – but not a actual power, and a actual control – because all the time – regardless of how “powerful” I might consider myself to be – I will always be subject to the laws of the physical world and reality – and as such I understand that real control, and real power – can only be real and actual when I stand as those points within and as me as a living expression of me – as a living statement of who I am in each and every breath – wherein I decide what and who I am – and what principle I stand and live by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I stand certain in who I am – certain in what I am – certain in why I am – there can’t be any nervousness, or stress – because these points are in essence based upon fear of death – as the fear of loosing all form of control over this external reality – and this fear can’t exist when I stand within me in such a stability, and depth of silence – that I understand that who I am can’t be moved, touched, or defined by death – as I stand as the power within me that in all-ways decide who I am – and within this that I create who I am – thus creating life from nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the experiences of stress, and nervousness – allowing myself to go into and as a state of preparation – as trying to avoid a disastrous event from taking place – and through these experiences attempting and trying to control my reality; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the simplicity of physically controlling my exterior reality as a point of self-movement – and even though I am not able to have full control – I am able to have somewhat effective control and create this control without any form of experience such as stress, or nervous – because physically directing, and moving my reality is not about mental experiences – it’s about my effectiveness of communication – my effectiveness of physical movement – my effectiveness in social interaction with others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how stress, and nervousness literally are illusions – because – they do not produce anything of benefit – they do not assist me in stabilizing my life, and my daily living – they do not assist me in actually walking through my exams – they do not assist me in actually making sure that I have money, and financial stability – they do not in-fact do anything but exist within me as a experience – that in essence only serve to disturb me, and take my focus away from living, and moving myself in my day-to-day life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the points of unexpectedness, unplanned events, and the unknown – realizing, and understand that I will never be able to have complete control over this reality – as such it’s completely unnecessary to create experiences of stress, and nervousness because I do not have that control – I mean – it’s impossible to have such a control so why continue to fight reality? As such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align myself with the actual functioning of this physical world and reality – and stop fighting it – stop resisting it – and stop trying to change it to match my inner belief, and hope of what I’d like this reality to be like


When and as I see that I go into and as a state of stress, and nervousness – because I see that I am approaching uncharted territory – and I can’t be completely sure on the outcome of what I am taking on and walking; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – there is no reason to fear uncharted territory – I mean sure – there might come an event that is painful, uncomfortable, or even an event that leads to my death – but – that is the nature of this reality – and it’s completely stupid to fear the nature of this reality as what is here – because it doesn’t help, it doesn’t assist, and it doesn’t change this reality; as such I commit myself to embrace the functioning and movement of this reality – and work with what is here – and practically train, and practice moving myself in such a way in this reality – that I am able to avoid and direct potentially harmful, or uncomfortable experiences, and events – as such – stopping myself from relying upon fear, nervousness, and stress – and instead relying upon common sense deduction

When and as I see that I go into a state of nervousness, because I don’t know how to be, or how to move, or how to direct myself in a given situation – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – me experiencing nervousness does not assist, and support me to walk, and direct the situation – I mean – it would be far more effective for me to stop for a while – observe the situation – and develop solutions – solutions are far more effective in having actual physical positive results than nervousness; as such I commit myself to instead of going into nervousness when I face the unknown – to make the unknown known – and develop solution for me to direct, and effectively move myself within that which is now known

When and as I see that I go into stress – as fearing that I will run unto an unplanned, and unexpected event – and that I will not be able to deal with this event – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – stress merely serves to make me blind to what is here – not see what is here – and not be able to effectively process what is here – stress is like a energetic blindfold that I take on thinking that it will help me to navigate my reality – obviously that isn’t so; as such I commit myself to face the unexpected, to face the unplanned – with a straight back – and effective breathing – realizing that the only way to effectively live in this life is to live physically – breath by breath – walking actual practical solution instead of going into my mind as energetic experiences of positive, or negative

When and as I see that I am going into and as a fear of not being in control, and not having power over my world – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that power, and control over this world is in essence an illusion – something that isn’t real – but merely real in my mind; as such I commit myself to live real power, and real control – which are points that I live AS ME – as me living the decision in every moment that I am life as all as one as equal – and that the principle which I stand by – and make my decisions by is what is best for all – and giving to another as I’d like to receive

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 04 Jul 2013, 22:40

Day 41: What? This Is Not How I Should Experience Myself! ... ce-myself/

A reaction that I’ve noticed – and that bothers me – is that I go into fear, and anxiety when it is that I enter into a new situation where there are people.

For example – every morning I’ve experienced the same point manifesting. I will arrive at the office, and as I begin to walk into the building I am able to notice the thoughts come up within me such as “I wonder who will be there today?” – “How should I behave?” – “Should I greet my colleagues or not?” – “I hope I won’t get afraid”. Within this backchat I start to notice a fear building up within me – and that is when I enter self-positive talk mode – wherein I will say to myself – stuff like: “I am not afraid!” – “Why can’t I just stop being afraid?” – “Man I get afraid like this every morning!” – “I will just walk in there and not be afraid at all – yes – that’s what I will do!”

But within me having this backchat – what occurs is that the fear is increasing, and then as I enter the office and meet my colleagues I exist within quite a prominent experience of fear, and anxiety – that makes me in-effective, less social and talkative, and more held-back than what I am usually.

expectationThis social-anxiety point is one of my primary weaknesses – and a reason that it’s still here is because I don’t like admitting to myself that this is how I experience myself – instead I like to think of myself as already being past these type of experiences, and see myself as a confident person with much self-esteem; fascinating that I within not wanting to recognize to myself what I really experience in-fact cement that experience of myself as real – because I refuse to deal with it – work with it – find the cause for the experience – and correct myself.

The first step is thus to recognize for myself what it is that I experience, and get back to humility – get back to reality – and to also understand that having reactions is nothing bad – experiencing myself anxious around people is nothing negative – it’s simply what it is – a particular system-construct that I’ve created, and manifested as myself due to repetition – and obviously due to an ineffective education as I grew up – where I learned to honor fear, instead of self-honest self-expression.

Thus – today I will walk self-forgiveness on the idea that I want to hold unto of myself – as how I’d like to believe that I am as a person – which isn’t actually the reality of how I live, and experience myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as a state of idealism within myself – wherein I idealize myself – and think that I am strong, that I am confident, and that I am fearless – within this creating an idea of myself as how I’d like myself to be – not wanting to recognize the real experience of myself in my day-to-day living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the real experience of me as social anxiety, and fear – when I meet new people – as being a weakness – and a point of inferiority – and judge this point as being a mark of shame; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I am within judging my experience of myself as fear – in-fact not accepting and allowing myself to stand up within a point within myself of being able to deal with this experience – to recognize it and work with it utilizing self-forgiveness, self-commitments, and writing – because I mean – I do have the tools to deal with the experience – why then continue to lie to myself, and hide the real truth of myself?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to explore this fear in specificity – meaning – to in detail investigate exactly when, how, why, and what – that triggers this fear – and what thoughts arise in my mind – and also what memories I still hold unto as a fuel for this particular character that I’ve created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remain humble within myself in walking my process – in allowing myself to see without judgment, comparison, or idealization what I exist as within me – and as such enable myself to work with the problems that I still have – and experience; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that – having reactions is nothing bad – it’s nothing wrong – it’s merely what it is and as such nothing but a point within me that requires attention, that requires work, and that requires discipline in order to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to be weak – meaning – to allow myself to closely observe my weaknesses as the points where I still react, and still go into experiences – within this allowing myself to intimately explore the detail of myself as the organic robotic program that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to become – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live self-intimacy – which is self- into me I see – allowing myself to see everything that goes on within me without a bias, without a want, or a desire – but simply seeing objectively what’s going on – and from that starting point standing up within me – and correcting myself to live, and apply what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create positive ideas of myself as who I think I am – creating an idea of myself that I am confident, that I am fearless, that I am stable, that I am certain – within this cementing an idea of myself as “already being done” – instead of being brutally self-honest with myself – and seeing who, and what I live as – seeing that I am not perfect – and that I do still have reactions – but understanding that this is nothing bad, or wrong – it’s nothing to be avoided, or feared – it’s simply what is here – and as such I accept and allow myself to embrace what is here – and work with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that unless I accept and allow myself to see how I experience myself – I will not be able to change myself – because I will not deal with, and walk with reality – as what is actually here – what is actually happening – what is actually my true nature; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to look within without fear – to look within without judgment – to look at myself and observe myself – and become a self-scientist – wherein I without bias explore myself, and my inner-workings – so that I am able to understand myself – and correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to begin a new in every moment of breath – and not hold unto any idea of “who I am” from the past breath – as such accepting and allowing myself to stat afresh in every moment – and thus being able to see what is here without any judgment, or fear – simply observing myself and within that creating a foundation for me on which I am able to stand – and direct myself into and as correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive idea of myself as being assertive – as being fearless – and generate this positive idea of myself through imagining myself talking to people in my head with a assertive, and strong voice – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when and as I notice that I react in a way that is opposite to the way I’ve imagined myself being in my mind – thinking, believing and perceiving that I am doing something wrong because I am not experiencing myself as I thought I would in my mind; instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that my mind reality does not show what is real – and thus only because I imagine myself being assertive, confident, and strong – doesn’t mean that this is what I in-fact stand as – live as – in physical actual expression here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how my positive idea of myself in my mind is in-fact responsible for creating my reaction towards the negative side of myself as the “real me” – because I within participating in the positive create a conflict relationship with myself – where I try to change myself through judgment, and anger – wherein I react to the negative real me – through thinking that this negative real me shouldn’t be here because I’ve imagined another positive me in my mind; instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding how both of these points are illusion – but how the positive point of me is more illusion than the negative – and that I am within participating in the positive point of myself only strengthening and charging the negative reactions I experience within me when I face new people – because conflict is the breeding ground of energy – as reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of any and all positive reactions towards myself in my mind – to as such allow myself to become a blank slate so to speak – wherein I am able to observe the real me as I exist without any reaction – or experience – I simply see me for what I am with no agenda to change how I see me – I mean – in a way – that is inner propaganda – as trying to change the actual truth of me into a truth that I like and feel good about – not realizing that I am within that only covering up the problems and not allowing myself to work with, and deal with reality


When and as I see that I am idealizing myself – and creating a positive idea of myself in my mind, that I am strong, assertive, self-confident, and fearless around people – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this is the illusion – this is the positive idea of myself that is not real through which I generate and charge, and cover up the negative and real aspects of myself; as such I commit myself to stop this positive seeing of myself – and instead see myself for real – seeing myself without a bias – without a experience – without a definition – simply seeing who I am, and who I’ve become without judgment

When and as I see that I am judging a negative experience of myself that I am having, as for example fear, or anxiety when I meet new people – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this judgment of myself is not real – because what I experience as me is merely what it is – it’s a reaction – it’s a character – but it’s nothing bad, or wrong – such as my judgment suggests; as such I commit myself to see myself without judgment – simply seeing what I’ve become without reacting – allowing myself to be self-intimate – see into me – and understand myself – and see myself – and from within that be able to stand up within me and correct myself

When and as I see that I am reacting in judgment towards what I experience as fear, and social anxiety – and I think that “I shouldn’t experience myself this way” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this type of thinking doesn’t lead me to a solution – I mean only because I think that I shouldn’t feel in a particular way – doesn’t stop me from actually feeling that way – it merely adds another dimension of reaction to the point which is completely unnecessary; as such I commit myself to stop judging myself – to stop having any preconceived ideas, and hopes about myself – and simply deal with – get to know – and be intimate with who I am, and who I’ve become

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 06 Jul 2013, 22:29

Day 42: Eternal Damnation ... damnation/

Today I’ve been listening to a interview series on self-judgment that can be found on eqafe – check here – and because of that I am going to dedicate this post to exploring this particular point of self-judgment.

judgementNow – as I listened to the interview, my initial thought was that “hey – I don’t have any self-judgment! I am past this point!” – so it was cool when later in the interview series this particular reaction/experience towards the point was explained as being but a defense mechanism – and within this it was suggested to look more closely at one’s inner reality in relation to self-judgment – to allow oneself to see that there is in-fact self-judgment going on in there.

So, in this blog I will look at the various point’s of self-judgment that I’ve seen – and now – since I listened to the interview I’ve been able to pin-point particular movements within that are of a judgmental/bully/abuse-nature – wherein I do become violent towards myself in the form of words/experience/inner movement.

What I’ve seen is that most of my judgment is related to past moments – because many times through-out my day some memory will come up within me of a past situation wherein I will feel that I acted like “an idiot” in that situation – and that I could’ve done it so much more effectively – and that I didn’t have to act the way I did back then – and so this is a point of self-judgment.

Further – I’ve seen that there is lot’s of self-judgment in relation to my work, and my studies – here I’ve noticed that I am very particular in relation to what type of results that I expect myself to achieve. For example – when I make a mistake in my work I will go into a state of judgment – and think – “man, why did I do that?” – “how could I miss that simple point?” – “I got to be more aware, and precise, this can’t continue!” – and this same point also occurs with my studies – wherein I will be disappointed, and hard towards myself when I do not achieve the highest mark – and I will think “What? How could I fail – Am I stupid or something?” – “I studied so much and still it went like this – fuck – I am useless”.

Another point that I judge is about my character – I have a tendency of becoming nervous around particular women, and guys – particularly young, handsome, and what I term to be “popular” youngsters – when I have an interaction with these people often nervousness will occur, and when this happen I go into judgment – thinking – “oh my god, it’s so embarrassing that I become nervous!” – “Why does this happen to me! Why can’t I just be calm, and stable like everyone else?”

The same type of point comes up when I face conflict – because I tend to go into nervousness in those situations as well – and instead of supporting myself I go into judgment – “Why do I always react so much to conflict? My god! I should be past this point by now!”

So, much of my judgments originate from comparisons – because there is always some type of expectation involved as to what I “should be” – that I am not able to be – and then because I can’t be what I feel that I should be, I judge myself.

If I hadn’t had a reference within me as other people that I’ve seen through-out my life – I wouldn’t have had a concept of seeing my reactions as being bad, or my mark at a test as being inferior, or my mistakes at work as being faulty – it would’ve simply been me going through life facing particular situations, and occurrences – nothing bad, or wrong – simply “what is going on”.

Thus – the simple realization that is to be made is that self-judgment is really not cool – and it’s not something benefits me – it in-fact only serves to break me down, and to by each thought of self-judgment that arise within me – become less, and less – so really – it’s time to stop this particular point and allow myself to walk my life without having myself screaming at myself from inside of myself, saying to myself that I should do various things better than what I currently do.

I mean – it’s time that I accept and allow myself to be gentle with myself, and to practice living such gentleness – which I will do through breathing – through aligning myself with the consistency, and slow movement of a breath – a breath in, and a breath out – that is what I will practice – and at the same time also practice that – when this type of thoughts arise within me – to then stop being an observer within me, and actually act to change the inner nature of me – through not allowing these thoughts to play out – but that I instead direct me and make sure that I don’t accept and allow any form of bullying within me – because it’s simply not acceptable at all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through comparison with others create judgment within me – a character of bullying, and abusing myself through words, and experiences – wherein I constantly feel that I am not doing enough, that I am not good enough, and that I am worthless – and thinking that this apparently justifies me bullying, and abusing myself; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up within me – and understand that life could be really fucking enjoyable – even on this fucked up earth – when I allow myself to stop fighting myself and instead focus on living – expressing myself – and moving myself on a breath per breath basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I make mistakes when I work, or when I make mistakes, and fail achieving a good grade in my studies – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted, and allowed myself to become possessed with comparison – as thinking that I must be the best, and I must be that person that is able to walk all points in life effortlessly, and have a complete success in all points – with no form of failure – wherein all points go smoothly – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not achieving my mental ideal of how I should be instead of realizing that this mental idea of who I should be isn’t even real – so I am judging for not being something that isn’t real – isn’t that really the epitome of paranoia?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self-judgment is paranoia – because self-judgment is based upon expectations of what, and how self should be and not upon actual physical reality – I mean – it’s fascinating that I go into self-judgment when I make a mistake in relation to my work, or my studies – instead of going into looking for solutions – finding out what the problem is – finding out how it is that I fail and then within that implementing a effective solution so that I correct the reality equation to play out in a way that have beneficial results

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop comparing myself with others – and understand that comparing myself with others is useless unless I utilize comparison to create solutions for myself – but if comparison is merely done from a starting point of giving myself points within myself – as thinking that I am either good, or bad – I mean then it’s useless – because it won’t assist to become more effective in my life – and actually correct, and align my daily living, and participation to what is best for all – which should obviously be the primary point of my life – to establish myself as my fullest living potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create judge myself when and as I become nervous with females, or males that are young, handsome, and seem popular – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an expectation of myself – that I should be stable, and I should be calm – and there shouldn’t be any form of movement within me – and I should be able to direct myself, and move myself in my daily living without any reaction – because others seemingly are able to do that – thus I am bad if I don’t; instead of allowing myself to see, realize, and understand that I mean – I am me – I am not others – thus why even compare myself to others? And why think that I am bad just because I react in another way than what others do? And also – why not instead of judging for not being as stable as I perceive others to be – utilize others as a practical example – and use comparison constructively to support myself in my expression to stabilize myself – and make myself less reactive in these particular situations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to self-judgment, and to believe that I need self-judgment, and that without self-judgment I would loose myself, and there wouldn’t be anything left of me so to speak – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that I’ve become addicted to my biggest enemy so to speak – which is my accept and allowed nature – as a nature that doesn’t support me, that doesn’t assist me, and that doesn’t nourish; as such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to commit myself to stop this addiction – and commence on the journey of removing this particular character, and way of living as self-judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and think that I should be able to present myself as stable, as sound, as confident, and as strong around others – and to think that unless I am able to achieve this I am inferior – and I am bad; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not BREATH – and to be gentle with myself – and stop abusing myself through speaking down to myself in thinking that I am not good enough – I am not useful enough – and I apparently deserve to judge myself, I apparently deserve to be hated, and abused by myself; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up within myself and state – that I deserve to love myself, accept myself – be gentle with myself – and most of all respect myself – I deserve self-respect


When and as I see that I go into a state of self-judgment, as abusing, and bullying myself through words, experience, and inner movement – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this bullying is destroying me – and that I am pushing myself down, and wreaking havoc unto myself – as such I commit myself to stop – and practice breath – and practice being gentle with myself – practice caring for myself – and practice living, and developing self-respect – as not accepting and allowing myself to in anyway judge, abuse, or bully myself

When and as I see that I go into, and I react within and as self-judgment – because I feel that I deserve this, because I’ve made a mistake in studies, or my work – and I feel that I shouldn’t have done that – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – this point of me thinking that I deserve to judge myself – I mean it’s bullshit and it’s merely an excuse for me to not actually change and stop myself – and respect myself; as such I commit myself to stop judging myself and instead look for solutions – to go to establishing a solution instead of thinking that I deserve to judge myself

When and as I see that I am judging myself, abusing, or bullying myself – because I am reacting in nervousness, fear, anxiety, or become emotionally unstable around young, handsome, and seemingly popular people – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand how this particular judgment of mine is based on comparison – thinking that I should look, behave, and experience myself as others, and unless I do so – I am apparently bad; and within this I see that I’ve not allowed myself to be gentle with myself – and respect myself – and as such not judge myself; so I commit myself to not judge my experiences – and to stop comparison myself with others from a perspective of judgment, and self-hatred – and I instead commit myself to respect, and walk with myself – and practice living gentleness – and self-acceptance

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 09 Jul 2013, 19:55

Day 43: My Top Secret Relationship With Razors ... th-razors/

Today I had a cool, and very direct view on the nature of self-judgment as a cultural installment – that have been brainwashed into me to become my living (or dead?) character – and this particular point opened up while shopping for razors.

Now – in the country of my origins it’s commonly accepted that when males buy a razor this should be used for their beard, and their beard only – only women are supposed to shave their legs, armpits, and private areas – and if a male happens to do this – well – that’s just gay – apparently; now obviously their might different cultural ideas within my country as well, but my particular pre-programming tends to believe that this point of a male shaving some other part of their body than their beard – that is gay.

Okay – so – as I entered the shop I had selected for myself a purpose of venturing to the hygienic department in order to get myself a couple of good razors – and my intention with these razors was not to shave the normally accepted parts of the human physical body according to my pre-installed programming; my plan was to shave the “bad”, and “wrong” parts of the body – lol.

top-secret-documents-gsa-containers-shredders11So, as I arrived at the department I noticed that it was gotdamn big – thus I required assistance – and conveniently a store clergy asked me what it was that I was looking for – I experienced a small burst of fear – thinking: “shit will I have tell him what sort it should be?!” – Outwardly I looked calm, and said with a stable voice – “I want razors” – lol – and I could breath out for a moment as I’d effectively covered up the real intention of my mission in the store, and the clergy was now unknowingly helping me to commit my atrocious cultural crime of buying razors not for the purpose of shaving my head – I felt like an evil genius.

My happiness lasted only for a brief moment – because the clergy turned towards me, almost as if he’d sensed my immoral intentions – and asked: “So, you are going to shave your beard with these, or some other body part” – lol – a moment of panic emerged within me – “my god – what should I say now?” – I said calmly yet again – making sure to not reveal my hideous plans: “To shave my beard”

lol – so in that moment I sort of asked myself – “what the fuck am I doing?” – I was like: “He’s not even going to remember me when he get’s home to work, and here I am compromising myself, and acting all foolishly – not being clear, and direct, because I fear what others are going to think of me” – so – that’s when I realized the control that this particular cultural limitation exercised over me; and because of that I’ve now decided to deal with it.

I mean – really – this point is so ridiculous – a point like this could be valid if I was walking around in the store with my boss, that I understood had a very masculine cultural belief, and as such detested all males that in anyway tried something that could be perceived as feminine – I mean – then it would be common sense to shut up about why it is that I am buying these particular razors – but I mean – this store clergy can’t affect my practical living at all – he’s just there to help me and probably doesn’t even care whether I use the razors to cut my wrists, or shave my cat – lol.

So – what can be concluded is that these gotdamn cultural ideas are so fucking limited, and they are being driven by embarrassment – and wanting to fit in; really – to fit in is obviously so boring that’s more a death-sentence than anything else – so that’s why I decide that I am not yet ready to die, and that I’d like to be able to go to the store, and be direct with the store clergy about what kind of razors that I need, and what purpose these razors should be designed to deal with – common sense!


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be embarrassed, and afraid of telling another, that I am going to use razors in order to shave my private parts, or my armpits, or my legs, or my breasts – thinking and believing that it’s “gay” and it’s “embarrassing” and “not accepted” to shave these parts – and that I must uphold a acceptable image to the world, and make sure that everyone thinks I am completely normal – and just like everyone else – so that I won’t ever have any form of critique directed towards me – anyone laughing at me – or teasing me; and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand that I am compromising myself in wanting to fit in – and that obviously common sense is to not give a damn about this point of fitting in unless it’s for a practical common sense reason – but if it’s only because I want to FEEL safe, and FEEL like I am fitting in – I mean then it’s useless – and I compromise my practical daily living in order to have completely illusory momentary experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid, and embarrassed of walking into a shop and asking the shop clergy for any sort of product that is related to sex, sexuality, private body parts, or lust – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide these parts of myself – and present myself as if I am a completely devout Christian – in that I don’t participate in sex – and I don’t ever touch, or interact with any of my “bad” body parts – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this fear of showing, and presenting myself as having sexual intentions – in thinking that sexuality, and sex is something bad – and wrong – that should be done in secret, hidden, and stowed away somewhere where nobody is able to know about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it’s stupid that I have this experience towards sex, and sexuality – because I mean – everyone have sex – it’s not like I am alone in the world to have sex, or be sexual – and it’s not like I am the only male in the world that has ever thought about shaving areas of the body that is not the beard-area – I mean – it’s not really that big of a deal – it’s just that I’ve been programmed to have a relationship towards any form of point that is in relation to a body part that is connected to sexuality – that is founded upon shame, and embarrassment; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand up from this relationship within me, and allow myself to be free in expressing my sexuality – meaning that I don’t connect sex, and sexuality to shame, and embarrassment – but that I allow myself to walk, and participate in these points without fear; obviously not going to a point of being promiscuous – I mean – being disciplined, and principled in relation to sex, and sexuality is extremely important – that point I want to get at here – is that when actually interacting with any point that is sexually related – to then do so fully and not half-assed – hiding oneself in an experience of shame, and embarrassment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself to fit in – to as such create a censoring machine that is in my mind – that I use before I speak – so I always think about whether what I am to say is acceptable, or not – before I speak – within this fear that if I don’t have this censoring machine – that I am going not fit in – and that I am going to say things that others find stupid, ridiculous, and morally unacceptable; so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide, and compromise myself and my daily living – through wanting to fit in and be normal; not realizing that the consequence of this particular behavior, and way of living is that living will become extremely boring – and obviously I won’t ever do something that I want to do – because I’ll be to afraid of what others are going to think about it – thus living my life for others instead of living my life for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand – that I don’t have to live my life for others, I mean – others already have their own life, so why should they have my life as well? It’s better that I take my life – and live my life – and then others take their life, and live their life’s – and as such we all are happy, and we can participate in the points that we’d like to walk – without any compromise, fear, or desire to fit in – individual beings in the true sense of the word

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that it’s my cultural inheritance to judge sexuality – and to define sexuality, and sex as something bad, and shameful – as something that you shouldn’t participate within – but leave as fast as possible – and that one should deny that one participate in at all – I mean that is apparently the way to walk sex according to my cultural programming; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question this programming – and to see that it’s nothing wrong with the sexual organs of the physical body – it’s nothing wrong to shave hair that grows on the body, regardless of where it grows – I mean – it’s so ridiculous – it’s simply a physical act that harms nobody – and still I hold unto this idea that limits me so much; so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create my own ideal in relation to sex, sexuality, and shaving parts of my body – in seeing that these are practical physical points and aren’t immoral, bad, or wrong – they are simply points of physical expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the children don’t give a damn about any cultural conventions as to what is acceptable, or not, to do with one’s human physical body – I mean they simply explore, and have fun – and that is the expression of the physical body – because there is no form actual physical badness related to playing with one’s physical body in various ways – it’s not harmful, it’s not painful – it’s physical movement; so as such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align myself to with childish innocence in relation to my physical body – and allow myself to stand in a relationship with my human physical body that is not based upon shame, embarrassment or fear


When and as I see that I become afraid of revealing to another, such as the store clergy, being direct, and clear – in order to direct my world effectively – that I am want to buy a particular product because I am to shave my body such as for example within my private areas, and under my arms – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – this fear is RIDICULOUS – STUPID – UNNECESSARY – LIFE-DIMINSHING – HORRID ABOMINATION THAT SUPRESS LIFE-EXPRESSION – and within this I commit myself to ask directly for the product that I want, and to reveal the purpose that the product must be equipped and designed to handle; and as such stop this fear, embarrassment, and shame relationship to my sexuality, and my sexual organs – and allow myself to be free in this world

When and as I see that I am suppressing, and holding myself back – through speaking in such a way that I censor myself upon the basis of what I believe to be “acceptable” or “not acceptable” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point is driven by the fear of not fitting in – within this I must ask myself – but hey – is there really a practical need for me here to fit in? For example in the store – is it essential for my survival to fit in with the other customers – I mean in the case of the store – NO – it’s completely ridiculous – nobody even cares what type of razors that I am going to buy because everyone else is to much worried to present a picture perfect exterior of themselves; I mean as such – I commit myself to get back to reality – and be direct – and stop suppressing myself and instead be direct, and clear – and obviously within this discern my environment so that I don’t compromise myself – because in certain environments it’s better to shut up and be “normal” – such as for example the office, or the work – then it’s a practical understanding that fitting in is beneficial

When and as I see that I am withholding myself from sharing, and expressing myself, because what I am to say relates to sex, sexuality, or sexual organs – and I experience a fear of being judged, or ridiculed if I share myself on some of these points – then I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand how this particular idea that it’s apparently shameful, and embarrassing to be sexual, or to have some sort of relationship to one’s sexual organs – is completely limited, and also unrealistic – because I mean – all human beings must have some sort of relationship with these points – it’s only that we go around and hide it because we’ve defined as somehow being “bad” and “wrong” – which is completely ridiculous; as such I commit myself to be clear, and direct – and share myself effectively in relation to these points – and not allow myself to withhold, and suppress myself due to fear, anxiety, embarrassment, and shame

User avatar
Posts: 1344
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Postby viktor » 11 Jul 2013, 20:25

Day 44: Tips, or no tips? ... r-no-tips/

Driving a taxi a re-occurring event is that I will receive some tips – and sometimes I receive good tips, and other times none at all – often my participation with the person do not influence them that much as whether they will give tips or not, because most have already decided and follow a already established pattern.

Now, the point I want to write about is a reaction that comes up just before the moment that I am to receive, or not to receive tips – meaning – just before the moment when the customer is to pay. When the customer stretches over, and hands me the money – this is when I tend to go into a reaction of anticipatory anxiety – or excited anxiety; and when this reaction comes up within me – I tend to react to this react in a fear of that this reaction will be seen by the customer and then they will feel uncertain, or decide to not tip me after all.

Thus – looking deeper at this point – what does it show me? It shows me an addiction to me – and that I am holding unto a slight excitement each time that I am about to receive money – as if money is some type of a drug that will give me more than what I had before.

I mean – it’s fascinating – I listened to this eqafe interview before that was done by a person that lived out his life as a homeless – and he shared his observations in relation to when he was begging, and how people reacted to that; and one point that he noticed was that human-beings tended to not want to give away their money because this was their access to “experience” so to speak – because with money – they could manifest all those vividly colored imaginations, and hopes in the mind into reality – and for a moment experience themselves empowered, strong, and satisfied.

This is what I am doing as well – and I am able to see that when I do receive tips, I have this thought come up within me that: “now I can go and take a coffee, or buy something to eat – because I won’t waste any money doing it” – I mean it’s fascinating – even if hadn’t received tips I’d still be able to go and buy a coffee, or something to eat – and I still wouldn’t have “wasted” money so to speak – because I would’ve gotten something practical, and necessary in return – such as a coffee, or something to eat.

So, I am able to see that what kicks in during these small moments of receiving tip – that is my greed, and miser-character – because I’ve noticed that I do have a tendency to be a miser when it comes to money, and feel good/safe about saving, and protecting my money – and feel uncertain, worrisome, and nervous about spending money; so when I receive those tips, or have the possibility to receive those tips – I react because then I go into my money-character – as my pre-programmed way of living as trying to protect myself through accumulating money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as the miser-character when I am about the receive tip – as becoming excited, and experiencing anticipatory anxiety – feeling that “this is it” – now I can either enlarge my fortunes, or I can become robbed of my fortunes; and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to money – and to believe that when I save, and that when I have much money – that I am protected and allowed to feel safe, and secure – and instead of realizing, and understanding that it’s a conditional safety, and security – because as soon as my money are going – I experience myself unsafe again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a miser in relation to money – wherein I will not supply myself with points that I need, and that are effective, and useful for me to have – because I will instead think about how much money I have, how much my savings are worth, how well I will feel after I’ve purchased this product – and within this I will compromise myself because I am not looking at what I need but instead at numbers, fantasies, and ideas in my mind – that are not relevant to living here in physical reality – equal and one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not treat myself with a coffee, or something to eat – when I am able to afford such a point, and when I see that I’d like such a point in a moment – I mean – what good are money when I am saving them, simply for the sake of feeling safe, because I have much savings – I mean – it’s insane; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here – and re-align money to be a practical point in my world, and reality that I utilize, and use to support myself effectively in my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get myself lost into a state of fear, as fearing loosing money – within this becoming blind to the opportunities that are in my life – and to the possibilities that are in my life – because everything that I am thinking about is that I don’t want to loose money – while obviously – there are severely more important things to care about, and to consider in my world – than my fear of loosing money – I mean – money is meant to be used to create a effective day- to-day living – it’s not meant to be saved in some account for no purpose – I mean – that’s what you do when you expect to live for 100 of years – and only live to survive without any form of courage to make this life something extraordinary; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through this fear – as the miser-character – and allow myself to see money as a tool and not as something mysterious that I must fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am protecting myself by protecting my money – not realizing that my money is not me – but money is merely a invention that does not need to have food, water, and effective physical care – I mean – money is a so to speak – dead object – and I am not that – as such – when I protect my money I am not protecting myself – because protecting myself would imply that I actually care about my human physical body, and about my physical surroundings – and make these the best that they can possibly be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money protects me – and that the more money I have – the safer I will be – and the more I am able to let go, express, and enjoy myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is a faulty, and irrational idea/understanding of money – because money is not like a gun proof west that I put on – it’s merely a point that allows me to participate in this world, and reality effectively – and in some dimensions do actually support me to be safe in this world; yet – within this it must be understood that the primary point that determine my reality – as after all not money – but the human being dealing with, and using the money – which is ME; and thus – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that thinking that money will secure my future, and my safety – is really a point of blame – and simply shoving the responsibility of my life unto money – instead of me taking responsibility for myself, and my life – and making sure that I am effective in my day-to-day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a anticipatory anxiety when I see that there is a possibility that I will get new money – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that when I receive money – my life will change – I will experience myself more fulfilled, and able to deal with this world – and I will not experience as much fear and uncertainty – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath – bring myself back here – and understand that money is merely a physical object – that has nothing to do with my general movement – I mean – as to the point of – WHO I AM within and as my daily physical movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not allowed to buy a cup of coffee, or some snack outside when I am driving – thinking that this is a “unnecessary expense” – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that I’ve created a very limited definition of the word necessary – wherein I’ve in essence abused myself through thinking that “no point is necessary” – and that I am in essence able to cope with bread, and water – and that I don’t require anything more but that point of bread and water – and within this I forgive myself that have not accepted and allowed myself expand my understanding of what is necessary – to also see that it’s necessary for me to live a dignified life – meaning that I do have access to these small points of comfort – and that in a way these are necessary for an effective life; so as such – I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stop my fear of spending money – and to stop my miser/saver-character – and instead realize that money is not something here to make me FEEL safe – but something that is here for me to use to support myself to live an effective daily physical life – here


When and as I see that I am compromising myself, and not buying something that I need, and that would assist, and support me in my daily living application – because I instead want to “save the money” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that saved money are really money that aren’t used – they are money stuffed away for a rainy day and as such in essence an attempt to escape death – not understanding that death is certain – and that as such – money is to be stored away merely to have them stored away – I mean it’s cool if there is a specific purpose for the storing – such as buying a expensive product that self requires; but merely saving for the sake of saving – I mean what is that? As such I commit myself to stop saving for the sake of saving – and instead use my money when I have access to money – and that there is a point I’d like to be that would enhance me and my expression of myself in daily living

When and as I see that I am going into and as a state of anticipatory anxiety as I am about to possibly receive tips – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that money doesn’t mean anything – unless I am here effective to direct and move money in my world – as such – money is secondary – and what is of primary importance is who I am; thus reacting to the point of money is really irrational because it’s giving money more importance than what it deserves and not looking at what is of real value, and importance – which is the effectiveness of my daily application in self-honesty; as such I commit myself to focus on myself – and to place value on myself – and stop valuing money more than me living effectively breath, by breath here

When and as I see that I am reacting, and going into a state of excitement, and happiness, as I’ve received money as tips – thinking that now I can buy something nice for myself, such as a coffee, or something to eat; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here; and I see, realize, and understand that I mean – I do already have money – so why must I receive tips from someone for me to allow me to give myself a treat in the form of coffee, or something to eat? I mean it makes no sense – and it comes from this miser-character, or saving-character – as valuing the point of saving simply because it feels good – not understanding the physical implications of saving in comparison to spending – I mean – in spending money I can actually bring forth products into my reality that is of benefit to me – in saving money – I mean the money is really just laying there not being used – as such not really having a purpose what-so-ever; as such I commit myself to stop fearing spending money – and to stop judging spending money, and glorifying saving money – and instead look at the practical implications of these points – and act in such a way that the best result comes about

When and as I see that I am going into a state of excitement as I receive money, feeling that I’ve now “grown” a bit – because I’ve been given these money – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I’ve not grown – I’ve not changed – the only thing that has happened is that I now hold some more money in my pockets – I mean physically nothing has changed at all – and I mean this makes it fascinating to ask – what is this excitement – is it even valid? I mean – small sum of money and I become excited – what is that about? And as such I see that I’ve placed this completely unrealistic value on money – as believing that money will in some way save me – and make safe in life – while that is absolutely not so – because at the end of the day – I stand responsible for my effectiveness in living – and as such – whether I am safe, or not – is only to a certain extent depending on money – but mostly depending on my ability, and clarify in self-direction in my day- to-day living; as such I commit myself to stop glorifying money – and I instead realize that what’s important is my daily physical movement and application of myself – one and equal as breath – that is the key to effective living – not how much money I have.

Return to “7 Years Journey to Life”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests