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Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 02 Aug 2017, 22:22
by viktor
Day 417: Challenging Status Quo
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... tatus-quo/

There is this tendency within me, and seemingly humans in general, to accept what is currently here as the unchangeable truth. Let us take money for example and how it functions currently. Each time I consider and look at money, I do that from the premise of how it is working currently; thus in my mind – I am limited in how I am looking at an relating both to myself and this world – because – I accept what is here without question and more importantly – without seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the power to change it.

I would say, that this tendency of mine, to accept what is in my external reality, is a mirror image of how I relate to patterns on a internal level. Hence, what I want to develop within myself is the skill to actively question, reconsider and assess both myself and my external reality. Is what is here currently the BEST it can be? Am I currently the BEST that I can be? And if that is not the case, then what can I do to bring myself to that state of being the BEST that I can be? What patterns within myself have I recognized, however accepted and allow to remain as is, because, I believe that they cannot be changed?

It might be that we feel safe with the status quo. When everything is as it used to be, then at least, we have a form of safety in that. However, why not instead strive to make ourselves, and our lives the best that they can be? What is it that stands in our way but ourselves?

I will push myself to actively challenge and question both my inner and outer reality, and simultaneously look at solutions that I can apply to bring through what is BEST.

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 03 Aug 2017, 22:05
by viktor
Day 418: The Physical
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -physical/

Lately I have been listening to the Eqafe interviews that discusses the Physical, of these, I found those that were about redefining the physical (Redefining Physical – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 109) particularly supportive to where I am at right now.

The point that struck a chord with, which is discussed in the interview, is how we cannot hope to form a equal and one relationship with the physical unless we forgive and deal with ALL our reactions towards the physical reality. And here I mean all of them; such as for example, being annoyed with rust on the car, or that one of the walls in my home has a slight discoloration, or that there are weeds growing in my veggie garden. All things in the physical that creates a reaction within me, they must be dealt with, forgiven and let go off for me to develop a real and equal relationship with the physical. And that is not particularly far fetched, because if I react to what is here in my world, then how can I ever hope to see it for what it is. For example, a discoloration on the wall, is that only something ‘bad’ to be removed? No, a discoloration is of physical substance, it is made out of something, and it has a history, how that discoloration came to be, and maybe, potentially, I am able to learn something from that discoloration?

One of the primary points that I see I will have to deal with in working with the word PHYSICAL is my human body, because if there is anything I have judged and desired to change, it has been my body, especially its appearances. In-fact, the functionality of my body has always been great – though its looks I have judged and I have wanted to have something different. At the moment, I see that there are few body parts that I am still judging, which I will have to investigate further using self-forgiveness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the physical – to judge my appearances, to judge the house in which I live, to judge my immediate surroundings, and to think that there should be something more in my life, more than the physical – more than what is here – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical and what is here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the physical through judging the physical and through thinking that there should be something more to the physical – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify judging the physical by thinking that there must be and should be something more and better – and that the physical is flawed and then I will eventually be able to reach and attain a point of perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not forgive these small reactions and experiences that I have towards my immediate physical environment – to see, realize and understand – that each of these small reactions to my immediate physical environment – they stop me from standing one and equal to the physical – because instead of standing with the physical – I judge the physical, create ideas about it, and define it utilizing limited concepts of right and wrong – instead of seeing the totality of the physical as it is here in front of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the physical as it is here – and see, realize and understand that there is nothing more than the physical as it is here – and that I will not be able to achieve and come to a greater reality and life by judging and pushing away the physical as it is here at the moment

Self-corrective statements

When and as I see myself judging and reacting to my immediate surroundings, the physical, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that through judging what is here, I am missing the physical, I am separating myself from the physical, and I am creating a wall, a barrier between myself, and between the physical – thus making it impossible for me to create and have a deeper relationship and connection with the physical as it is here; hence I commit myself to ask myself – what is the purpose/existence/life of this particular part of the physical? And thus push myself to develop a deeper and more substantial relationship with the physical – in real time – HERE

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 05 Aug 2017, 08:52
by viktor
Day 419: Natural Movement
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -movement/

Living close to my mother now for about two years has been challenging, however also, very, very revealing, in the sense that I have learned SO much about myself from observing my mother, and then bringing it back to me. It is fascinating, because what I have found is that we are so similar in many ways. And this has been shared by Desteni for a long time already; we are copies of our parents – and hence our experiences, reactions, observations and relationships towards and with our parents – they can become a great source for self-reflection.

One point that I have observed in my mother is the following: She is driven, ambitious and motivated – and many times this drive will cause her to take on more than she is able to handle. The consequences is that my mother feels forced to run through many things in her life, just push through, get to the other end, be done with it and move on – which in turn leads to less effective results and that she does not get to be fully part of that particular process/aspect of her life. And – big shock – I do exactly the same.

For my summer vacation I had quite a number of projects planned. Though, as anyone with experience in building and construction can vouch for, it always takes way longer than what you initially planned! Same was true for me. And little by little, my projects, instead of being a enjoyable hobby, became a weight, a fight against time and space – where these existential phenomenons always seemed to scheme against me. I started to become stressed and anxious, and noticed that I was hurrying and rushing to get things done. After some time, I felt as if I did not have time to go out on walks with my partner, go bathing, and hang around with summer visitors, because, I had to get my projects completed!

So, this is where I stepped in and started question my approach. Firstly, I could see that I had taken on too much, and that my hobbies had become a burden – I had been too ambitious – similar to my mother. Secondly, I could see that I was creating these arbitrary deadlines, and ideas of what had to be done and when, in such a way, that I was actually making it difficult for me to use my vacation to replenish and refresh myself to stand and walk in the system for another year in my profession – and that I was not anymore allowing myself to pursue and do the small points of enjoyment that I otherwise love to pursue and be part of – such as taking a walk and going for a swim.

Thus – what I have been able to take from this sequence of events is the following: To calm down with my projects, to not bee overly ambitious, but to have a balance in my life, to practice not taking on too much, but considering to overall context of my life as it currently is when I make decisions as to what I am going to do. Then, I have learned that, it is not quantity that matters, it is quality. When I give myself the time and space to commit to a point, and fully walk it, using the time required, then hell, I usually enjoy it a lot, and the results become really good. It is a completely different thing compared to taking care a of chore from the starting point of thinking that I do not have enough time, and that I need to rush through it as fast as possible.

Because of this I have deliberately practiced slowing down, allowing points to take time. For example today, I had planned to go out and remove a saw blade from my mitre saw. I envisioned that it would take about half an hour. However, it took about two hours, because the blade would simply not come loose. I became stressed, though, I slowed myself down, and gave it the time it required, and later, the bolt eventually loosened and I was able to pick the blade off the saw.

Hence, this is what I will continue to practice – FLOW and NATURAL MOVEMENT – to not try to force movement – to rather focus on doing a few things fully than a lot of things with only some of me taking part and the rest of me already in the new project.

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 07 Aug 2017, 21:32
by viktor
Day 420: Last-Chance-U
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -chance-u/

I have been watching a Netflix series called Last-Chance-U for a couple of a weeks now, and wow, what an awesome show. The series, which is a documentary, follows various persons involved in the junior college football team Mississippi East, and the Mississippi East community college. Its a wide range of personalities, from apathetic teenagers seeking a better life, to those seeking fame and fortune and hope to reach the NFL, to the trainers and coaches, some of whom, lives and breathes football.

Not only is the show really good, in the sense that it documents, and follows the involved participants without trying to impose upon them any kind of moral or ethics, or ‘make a point’ – it also gives a very interesting view into the human psyche. And since watching the series I have utilized the insights I gained through the show to reflect it back on myself.

There is especially one point that is prominent and general throughout the series, and that is how much all the involved persons rely on emotions to move themselves. The coaching of the players is built around the philosophy that you ‘have to be hard, else the players go slack, and they will not push themselves to their fullest’. Hence, the coaches, on many occasions, will scream, shout, attack personally, call out players, telling them they are bad, they are not doing right, they do not understand, and that they will ‘removed from the team unless they get their shit together’. It is quite clear that the intention of this approach is to generate a emotional response, and the idea behind it, is that this will then stimulate the players to do better.

Many of the players also have academic difficulties. And one of the more common problems is lack of movement. Few have the discipline and commitment required to sit down and study for longer periods of time. And hence, what many players tends to do, is that they wait, until consequences start emerging, then they will react in a emotional response of fear, and start moving themselves. Only when a emotion arise do they move themselves, thus similar to how the coaches rely on instigating emotions in their players to generate movement.

Thus, the idea that we need emotions to move ourselves, that is the general theme I picked up on. Though why do we believe that? Through my own process, what I have learned is that emotions, sure they can motivate me to move, however, the movement will seldom be as effective as it could have been, mostly because emotional movement lacks rationale and is not logically sound. It is just a movement, intense at best, however, as the emotion fades away, so does the movement, and then, another crisis or difficult experience is required to generate the next batch of emotions to fuel movement. And obviously, life becomes stressful and pressured, because movement goes from crisis to release, from crisis to release, from crisis to release, over and over again – WHEN – instead movement could be achieved through a DECISION.

Yes, it can be that simple. All we require is a decision. For example, to decide, that I will commit myself to study intently, with dedication and focus, until I am able to graduate from this school. There is no emotion required to make such a decision. There is no emotion required to see what is best for us, what makes sense, what is COMMON SENSE, and then to act upon it. All we need is our reasoning skills, and our body, and the rest, well that is up to us – if we will actually do it or not.

This is called SELF-MOVEMENT and when people realize how it works, it will undoubtedly revolutionize sports as well as our education. Because, we really do not need to invoke that deep passion for winning or the fear of losing within us, in order to do our best, and in order to perform outstandingly, all we need is ourselves.

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 12 Aug 2017, 07:30
by viktor
Day 421: Being Able To Work With Everyone
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... -everyone/

Today I listened to a really good Eqafe interview called Leadership: Being Able to Work With Everyone – Quantum Mind Self Awareness. The point of working together with other people in projects was discussed, and one thing in particular resonated with me; we do not have to like the people we work with, or decide to coordinate a project together with.

I found this supportive, because I have had a tendency to make relationships, particularly in the work environment, personal, in the sense that I believe that the relationships must be personal for the work and communication to flow effectively. However, interestingly enough, at work this has proven to not be the case many, many times. In-fact, some of the people that I work the best with, is actually people that I do not get along with on a personal basis. And that is because – in work – there are not the same requirements, the same relationships, the same movement, needed as is the case in personal relationships – and believing that this is the case – that is making a mistake.

And this the case in a variety of relationships – I cannot use one and the same mold for all the various contexts that is part of my life – in order to be able to direct myself and live with common sense – what is required is that I practice seeing the purpose and starting point – the reason – why am I here? What is the point? When it comes to work, the reason and purpose is to handle the responsibilities according to the purpose and reason of that particular position in the system – and the success and failure of such a movement is not determined according to how personally satisfying and enjoyable the relationships are.

In-fact, this tendency of ours to believe that we need some form of ‘connection’ and ‘intimate experience’ towards a point in order for us to engage with it and be effective within it, is a pattern that I have seen in many, and that I myself allowed to control and direct many of the decision I made throughout my teenage years and early twenties. Not necessarily in relation to people, though the more in relation to hobbies, school work, and career choices – because my idea was that it had to be ‘fun’ – I had to have a ‘feel’ for it to actually move. I have learned now that is not needed – I do not need to feel – all I need to do is to move myself and then be consistent – the physical will sort out the rest.

Thus – conclusion: How I feel is not really relevant – because efficient relationships are dependent upon so many other points – and these can only be assessed in the PHYSICAL – because that is where we see the reality of ourselves and our lives. We might kick-ass at a job that we do not necessarily like, and oppositely, we might really suck at a job that we firmly and wholly love. To make sustainable decision in this world – what must take primary focus is what works IN THE PHYSICAL – not how we feel about things – and that is the skill of not taking things personally – not making things personal – but remaining objective.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must have a positive feeling and experience towards what I do, towards my work, towards my colleagues, for me to participate within the point and direct it effectively – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that what is important is the physical – and whether I am compatible with the physical or not – that is the point of importance – not how I feel

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be friends with my colleagues for me to work effectively – that we must have a personal and intimate relationship for us to move and work effectively together – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is not the case – that a work-relationship does not have the same requirements as a personal relationship – and that it is up to me to define the starting point of the relationship which in turn will define the outcome of the relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become depressed and sad when I do not feel a positive and energetic experience towards work – and hence believe that there is something wrong – there is something that is off – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am in-fact making a thing out of me not feeling anything – not seeing, realizing and understanding that I am in-fact not supposed to feel anything – that work is and should simply be work – and that I do have the opportunity to push myself to live words and expand myself at work both within the various tasks of my work – and also within the relationships I have with people at work

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself interpreting, creating ideas, or preparing to make decisions within a relationship in my world with people, such as colleagues, or in relation to work, or with personal relationships, because I do not feel as I usually feel, or believe I must feel, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this idea that I have to feel something in order to move – it is not real – because what matters and counts in the physical – is physical feedback – is physical effectiveness – is physical compatibility – physical context – and hence I commit myself to make decisions according to what makes sense and what is best in the PHYSICAL – and not according to how I feel about a point or believe that I should feel – because such a starting point does not create the best decisions

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 14 Aug 2017, 07:10
by viktor
Day 422: Directing Me Regardless of Environment
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... vironment/

Today I was with my partner and my daughter at a big furniture ware house. We decided to eat at the restaurant in the store, which was very crowded, and filled with young children and their parents. The noise level was many times above average, and the general atmosphere was chaotic, with people and children moving about in all directions, with their trollies filled with furniture and various paraphernalia.

I noticed within myself that I became frustrated and irritated with my environment. Compared to my home, on the country side, which is most of the time serene and calm, the store felt like a war zone. I felt as if I was being sapped of my energy, and backchat emerged, where I blamed the people around me for going to this furniture store, for not being more quiet, and for being so intent upon buying more furniture.

Thus, my problem in this moment, was that I reacted towards the environment, resented it, judged it, and wanted it to change, and be different – my approach was that of having an expactation on the environment and how I wanted it to be – and when it did not fit the bill – I manifested inner conflict. Because, if I would have embraced my environment, flowed with, and allowed myself to be like water, in the sense of not fighting what is here, but rather understanding it, learning about it, and working with it, my experience would have been completely different.

What I did was that I fought and resisted my environment, a correction would be to ENGAGE with my environment, to throw myself into it and PARTICIPATE – through TAKING PART in what is going on instead of wanting my life and reality to be in a particular way before I throw myself into it. In this I would allow myself to see the people in this chaos, to see the children, to observe and get to know what was happening around me, instead of being stuck in a state of judgment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, resent and fight my environment, instead of embracing it, understanding it, taking part in it, ENGAGING with it, and PARTICIPATING in it – not accepting and allowing myself to half-ass myself through life where I only indirectly interact with what is here through judging and creating ideas about life – however not really LIVING life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace what is around me, and to participate, and push through my initial experiences and reactions, and get to know what is here for real – and thus PUSHING through my routine way of interacting with life – and the way I have related to my reality in the past – to push through and will myself to create a NEW way of relating to and interacting with reality and life – and thus expand myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push through the experience of irritation and frustration, to push through the experience within me that everything is chaotic and beyond my control, to push through and establish myself HERE in reality, and thus relate, express, DIRECTLY, with what is here, instead of merely indirectly through an energy, an emotion of irritation and frustration – and hence I see, realize and understand that there is really LIFE in all parts of this world and existence – and that it is not merely on the countryside – however – to see it – I have to unconditionally push myself through it – will myself to get through and to see it for what it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is my environment that is to blame for my self-experience – that it is my environment and the life around me that should change and that unless it changes – I cannot change – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself – will myself – to create my life for myself regardless of my environment – to push myself to make the best out of my days – my moments – and not take anything for granted – and not wait for my environment to change – but rather will myself to change in every moment of every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself within me when and as I notice that I am affected by my environment – and make a decision to change myself and direct myself and do so regardless of what is happening around me – and thus not wait for my environment to change – but rather push and will myself to change

Self-commitment statements

When and as I notice that I am being affected by my environment, in the sense of feeling that there are too many loud noises, too much movement, to much happening, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I must be the one that decides who I am, and push myself to live what I see is the best version of myself, and this is not something that I can limit to what my environment is doing or existing as – as then I will always be in waiting mode – and never in action mode – where I move myself forward to effectively deal with my life; and hence I commit myself to CHANGE and live WORDS and do so regardless of the state of my environment – to thus – in the instance of this situation – live the word EMBRACE and CALM – and instead observe and participate with my environment – instead of going into a reaction towards it

Re: Viktors (Eng) Journey To Life

Posted: 15 Aug 2017, 07:55
by viktor
Day 423: Moving Physically Instead of With Stress
https://dreamersjourneytolife.wordpress ... th-stress/

I now have around one week left on my holidays and that has triggered some stress and anxiety within me, because I feel as if there is so much still to do, so much I still want to get to, so much I still want to participate within. If I follow along with this anxiety and stress, the physical movement/behavior that follows is that I start to act spontaneously and irrational – trying to ‘do things’ as fast as possible, and preferably, as many things as possible. The idea behind this way of living is that I will through that ‘save’ time. Needless to say, usually the opposite happens instead, because I will move around aimlessly, and forget to prioritize, and do the things that are really of importance, and do them effectively and well.

Hence, I find that the solution is to SLOW down, to move with breath, to do the things I do have time to do, and to simply leave the rest for another time. Instead of stressing about the fact that my holidays are soon over, I could instead use the time I have effectively, through remaining stable, and planning, structuring my days, and my time, so that I move, and get done the things, I know are important and relevant for me to direct, and that I might not have as much time for, when I start working again.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access, and go into, anxiety and stress when I notice that my holidays are soon over, and fear that I will not get to the various responsibilities and projects that I have in my life, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust anxiety and stress, and believe that anxiety and stress will support and help me, that they will guide me, and distrust myself, thinking that I am not able to or capable unless I have some form of energy that comes up within me and motivates and propels me forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself, and believe that if I move myself through the physical, only remaining, and standing as the physical, and not use any anxiety and stress, then I will not do anything what so ever, and I will but become a lazy bum, sitting on my ass all the time – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that its through sanding within and as the physical, and moving as the physical that I am able to take everything into account, and move in a way that is best for all, instead of merely stressing myself ahead, and fast forwarding life, believing that this is going to lead me into a better life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust stress and anxiety more than what I trust the physical – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop a deep and intimate – one and equal – relationship with my human physical body – similar to what I had when I was a child – where fear did not control me and move me throughout my day – but instead – I MOVED myself with and as my human physical – and hence I commit myself to move myself WITH AND AS my human physical body – to move myself within physical structure and planning – to look at what requires to be done – and then move to do it – however not overexert myself or become irrational – always remain grounded

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming stressed, anxious and worried because I am not getting done with as many things I think I should, or things are not moving fast enough, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this stress and anxiety is not a help for me to move forward, it is rather what holds me back, because while in it, I become irrational, I become lost in a state of fear, where I start to do things that do not make sense, only to feel like I am moving forward; and thus I commit myself to remain grounded – to stick with structure and practical planning – and to trust myself as the physical – that I will move myself and get things done – maybe not the way I have before in my life – though I will move and direct points until i am satisfied – in the pace of breath