Day 13- Resisting the Now
A point that has been coming up for me lately is that of resisting taking advantage of opportunities to create change as they present themselves within a specific moment.
First, I will give some background to provide a frame of reference for what I will be discussing in this post. Having walked with Desteni for 5 years now, I have learned how the negative systems of greed, corruption, and violence we see around us are actually reflections of the contents of our own minds. As without, so within. Another dimension of this is how much of our participation in this world is dictated by sub- and unconscious aspects of our minds such that a majority of our behavior is controlled by aspects of ourselves-as-our-minds of which we are not even aware. It can be quite depressing to realize not only the extent to which the problems of the world are due to our participation in our minds, but how much of our minds we have yet to explore or understand. The result is that the world overall as the systems of profit and survival as well as all of the individual humans 'participating' within it- has become quite limited in terms of the possibilities for change.
The human mind has been deliberately programmed in such a way as to vehemently resist any threats to the current operating systems. As a result, opportunities for change only afford themselves occasionally. Furthermore, and this is where reactions come up for me, such opportunities are always conditioned by the limitations presented by the world. Truly, being an agent of change in the World System is not a fun or ingratiating task but rather requires intense discipline as well as the courage to follow up on the opportunities for change such discipline can create.
There is a part of me that just wants to whine about how capitalizing on such opportunities requires giving up so much, even when doing so would benefit the world as a whole.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the moments-as-opportunities that open up as limited wherein I go into a moment of self-pity as in "Why me? Why should I be the one to have to seize on such limited moments to make such limited change?"regretting even the steps I have taken to get to the point where such opportunities are available to me.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to not realize that such thoughts are indications I have already fallen on and resisted a point and am merely experiencing backchat as my mind's way of trying to take me even further from the point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize the limited nature of these moments-as-opportunities as an excuse to not seize them, creating Blame towards others for contributing to the limited nature of such moments without implicating myself in participating in the creation of the limited situation on Earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to take responsibility for creating change within the context of what is HERE, regardless of the consequences that have already been wrought.
When and as I see myself go into judgement about the moments-as-opportunities that open up within this world to create change, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that this judgement is a form of backchat within my mind, indicating I have deviated from the Physical, here, and so I allow myself a moment to slow down and realign myself with the Physical. I commit myself to flag such thoughts as indications of backchat and thus transform them into opportunities to re-ground myself.
When and as I see myself blaming others for the limited nature of opportunities for implementing change into the system, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such blame is a form of abdicating responsibility and thus I commit myself to take responsibility for capitalizing on opportunities for change as the Limited World System presents them, walking this not-so-pretty Process until Heaven on Earth is realized for All.