Tyler's Journey to Life

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 23 Aug 2014, 07:36

Day 34- Fear and Lack of Understanding in relation to Self-Forgiveness: SF and SCS

I have sometimes felt guilty for not doing more to represent myself as a diseased person. I have believed that my mother is of no help in this matter, and also that I have no one with whom I was comfortable sharing the negative aspects of myself. The overall result is a pattern of isolation and suppression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty for not doing ‘more’ to represent the parts of myself I have labeled bad/negative/shameful.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that feeling guilty for not sharing the negative aspects of myself implies I created/placed a positive value on sharing these aspects of myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I’ve created a positive value related to things like ‘being genuine’ or ‘making sacrifices in my personal comfort if it means furthering my and so others ‘spiritual’ advancement’, taken together as my Spiritual Character, and so I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was chasing more than myself as the positive as doing spiritual-type things and, contrarily, would go into a negative reaction in relation to not fulfilling my ideas of being spiritually superior in relation to others.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, in losing myself in this positive-negative polarity of energetic highs and lows, create the belief that I was a special messiah-like character.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to not realize that this special messiah-like character I believed myself to be implies I didn’t/don’t know who I am but instead identified with an image I learned through books/movies as a hero who is supposed to save many people.

Within this, I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the belief that I need to save many people implies that I have not realized that each must ‘save’ themselves through realizing themselves through self-forgiveness and self-honesty in every moment as who they really are.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the belief I need to save others instead of realizing that I need to ‘save’ myself by realizing myself through self-forgiveness and self-honesty in every moment as who I am.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a fear of self-forgiveness within me.

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to not realize that this fear of self-forgiveness is related to not understanding all that is involved with a process of self-forgiveness and has been projected by me as a distrust of those indicating the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty, and self-corrective application in breath, where I’ve justified not applying myself within a process of writing myself out through/as this mistrust- instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that I have not allowed myself to trust myself to utilize the actually very much more simple tools than I’ve imagined being self-writing and self-forgiveness in great specificity and detail.

When and as I see myself fearing self-forgiveness, I commit myself to stop and breathe. I check in with myself again, HERE, and, within the realization and understanding that self-forgiveness is not some abstract, complicated principle, but merely the application of myself, HERE, writing and applying it as me, for REAL, I allow myself to direct myself to push through the resistance I’ve created within/towards writing self-forgiveness out for myself.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself not understanding something within my process of writing and applying self-forgiveness in self-honesty, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize/understand that the forum is there for me to utilize within asking questions related to my process, along with many videos and blogs and articles on the Desteni website, and so I allow myself to in such moments direct myself towards the resources/people available to me and ASK my questions.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the point of asking people available to me questions I may have in my process, wherein I see/realize that I have created a dichotomy within the assistance available to me with information as articles on the one hand and then actual communication with people and even watching their videos on the other and within that defined simply reading articles as safe, easy, comfortable and actual, real communication with Destonians as scary and uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to not realize that the fear and discomfort I’ve created in relation to communicating with Destonians about my process is in and of the mind and actually, there is no real difference between communication with a human and reading an article/blog if it supports me in my process.

When and as I see myself reacting in fear to communicating with a Destonian or becoming uncomfortable when viewing a vlog, I commit myself to stop and breathe. I allow myself to come back to the present moment within the realization and understanding that communication can assist me with my question.

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Anna
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 24 Aug 2014, 08:04

Awesome realizations and insights here Tyler!

I suggest to, as you come to the end of your self-forgiveness application - to go back over it and/or make sure that you direct each point that you forgave yourself for, to correction in your self-corrective statements. This way you the realizations aren't 'left hanging' but are taken through to a practical corrective application.

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 24 Aug 2014, 21:47

Hi Anna,

Thanks for the suggestion. So, with these self-forgiveness statements, for example, since this is related to a moment in my past, do I make the self-commitments specifically to no more walk that exact point as it happened? In other words, my tendency has been to more generalize my self-commitment statements to "in such moments" stop and change- is that OK or should it relate specifically to what actually happened to not do that EXACT thing again?

I compared myself to X the first night we met. We sung a song by my favorite band at the time and I didn’t know all the words.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not knowing all the words to the song.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to X who knew some words to the song that I did not.
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to, in that moment, create the idea of inferiority towards X.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as not a genuine music lover in that moment.

So, for the first SF statement, would the self-commitment statement be:

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself judge myself for not knowing all the words to that song, I stop and I breathe. I see/realize that I am not defined by the percentage of words I know to that song and so I allow myself to, in such moments, bring myself back to the present and enjoy/express.

OR

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself judge myself for not knowing the words to a song, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that I am not defined by the percentage of words of a song that I know and so I commit myself to no more allow such a point to possess/direct me but allow myself to simply listen/enjoy the song.

?

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Anna
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 24 Aug 2014, 22:00

I would say that it is cool to do both Tyler. In relation to making self-commitment statements too general, it is more if you for example write: "I commit myself to stop judging myself" as that might be something that can be too general to effectively direct into physical correction in every moment.

Marlen
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 28 Aug 2014, 00:45

Another perspective is for example with what you've written here

    Self Forgiveness:
    I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to not realize that the fear and discomfort I’ve created in relation to communicating with Destonians about my process is in and of the mind and actually, there is no real difference between communication with a human and reading an article/blog if it supports me in my process.

    Self Corrective Statement:+
    When and as I see myself reacting in fear to communicating with a Destonian or becoming uncomfortable when viewing a vlog, I stop and breathe. I allow myself to come back to the present moment within the realization and understanding that communication can assist me with my question.

Then the self commitment could be:

Self Commitment:
I commit myself to whenever I have a question about my process, I use the resources available such as writing the question at the forum or approaching another person in particular about it, as I realize that this will be supportive for me in my process which also involves stopping any reactions when approaching another to communicate with them.


So the Self Commitment involves an actual general direction that you decide to live as self-support, instead of the old pattern of keeping the questions within yourself and not asking for perspectives or references to others.

Therefore there are 3 usual parts to the whole process: the Self-Forgiveness, the Self Corrective Statement which are the ones beginning with 'When and as I see myself...' where you address the pattern specifically along with the realization, which is the point of awareness where you see for yourself why it doesn't make sense to continue doing/or not do something that would be supportive for you. And then the commitments which I already explained.


So, we actually made a hangout on this point which you can watch for further reference where practical examples are walked and can be supportive to clear the doubts and so not to confuse the corrective statements with the commitments. It is not that you cannot say 'I commit myself to when and as I...' however the SCS and Commitments are intended to have similar yet distinctive purposes.

You can also review the DIP Lite material on these points as well.

Here's the link to the hangout:Self-Corrective and Commitment Statements

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 28 Aug 2014, 04:32

Thanks Marlen.

Something I've noticed while writing self-corrective statements, is that I feel like I am contradicting the point of Never Talk about a Point You Are Implementing. If I commit to do something different in the future, how am I not writing about something that I've not yet walked for real? The only thing I can see, is that perhaps I am not being specific enough within my statement to in fact embody the change within The Now in such a way that I can Trust ME to live the change when the time comes?

And another thing: perhaps someone else has a perspective on this. Is it suggested to write the SCSs (self-correction and self-commitment) immediately after writing the self-forgiveness statements? I've seen some bloggers have separated SF from SCSs in separate days. Any harm in waiting a day on the self-corrective and self-commitment statements?

I ask within the context of having already published my blog-post for today (which you can read here: Day 35- Who am I within Self Care?) and I only included Self-Forgiveness statements.

Marlen
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 28 Aug 2014, 08:28

tylersr wrote: If I commit to do something different in the future, how am I not writing about something that I've not yet walked for real? The only thing I can see, is that perhaps I am not being specific enough within my statement to in fact embody the change within The Now in such a way that I can Trust ME to live the change when the time comes?


The commitment is a direction you give to yourself to change the pattern, it is thus something you will yourself to do/act upon/direct from the moment you write it out. So you are writing to give yourself direction, which is quite different to sharing an ideal of what 'you want to be' but are not yet walking, living and applying.

So the purpose of the commitments is precisely to lay out a specific direction to correct or align certain pattern - it is no different to writing a day-planner where you write out points you will be doing throughout your day, it's a practical tool to identify the points you commit to work on.


And another thing: perhaps someone else has a perspective on this. Is it suggested to write the SCSs (self-correction and self-commitment) immediately after writing the self-forgiveness statements? I've seen some bloggers have separated SF from SCSs in separate days. Any harm in waiting a day on the self-corrective and self-commitment statements?


That's ok, it all depends on your time/availability - what matters is giving it continuation, so it's fine if you do them in separate blogs. No harm on the writing and waiting per se - there's only no-change if we wait on living the application of the writing/correction in itself, which is what makes the writing real.

I ask within the context of having already published my blog-post for today (which you can read here: Day 35- Who am I within Self Care?) and I only included Self-Forgiveness statements


Cool, so you can write out the SCS and Commitments in the following blogs...

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 30 Aug 2014, 07:36

Who am I within Self Care? (Part 2)

This post is a continuation from Day 35- Who am I within Self Care? in which I wrote self-forgiveness statements on my pattern of suppressing self-care within and as me.

Self-Corrections and Self-Commitments

When and as I see myself physically react to the emergence of the expression of self-care within and as me, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to return to the present moment within the realization and understanding that self-care supports me.

I commit myself to in such moments slow down, take into consideration the practical opportunity to express self-care, and, within reason, take action to manifest the self-supportive thing.

When and as I see myself go into the mind within defining a self caring action as difficult, I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back to the present moment within understanding and realizing that each self-caring action is comprised of specific, definable steps that can usually be even broken down into smaller parts, making the action less formidable and further, that such actions support me in bettering me.

I commit myself to realize the usefulness and fun within self-supportive applications as I improve and expand me and my world.

When and as I see myself justifying continuing within old patterns, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to bring myself back to the present moment within the understanding that creating something new in my life that equates to self care is cool.

I commit myself to in such moments, identify the abusive pattern, and within reason act to correct these patterns.

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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 30 Aug 2014, 07:45

When and as I see myself physically react to the emergence of the expression of self-care within and as me, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to return to the present moment within the realization and understanding that self-care supports me.


Cool Tyler. Something that I've found very supportive when writing out self-corrective statements is to include the actual physical manifestations of the activation of a certain pattern for example. So it could for instance be "When and as I see that I react through tensing my muscles..." This way, when you then tense your muscles, when you're faced with the expression of self-care, you'll have a flag point and a reference for when/where it is that you go into the reaction towards self-care. So you can have a look at how it is you physically react to the expression of self-care and utilize that to further expand on your self-corrective statements.

Thanks for sharing.

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 14 Sep 2014, 05:36

Day 37- Prominent mind points within my day

Today I thought about drinking coffee too late in the day. This is a repeating pattern I have experienced.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience regret in relation to drinking coffee after 10 AM.

When and as I see myself go into the experience of regret in relation to drinking coffee too late in the day, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to bring myself back to the present moment within the understanding and realization that this is a mind experience and does not relate to my ability to be effective within my practical living applications.

I commit myself to take care of my practical living applications.

Another prominent experience was thinking about the girl who e-mailed me to meet up. I experienced hesitation in relation to e-mailing her back. I thought about being too crazy to attempt to meet up with this person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience hesitation in e-mailing this girl.

When and as I see myself experiencing hesitation in relation to e-mailing this girl, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to return to the present moment within the realization and understanding that initiating a relationship with this person could be a cool experience for me.

I commit myself to e-mail this girl back and set up a time to meet.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think about being too crazy to attempt to meet up with this person.

When and as I see myself thinking about being too crazy to meet up with this person, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to return to the present moment within the realization and understanding that meeting up with this person could be a beneficial experience.

I commit myself to no longer allow the excuse of being too crazy to limit me in meeting new people.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think I am too good for this person.

When and as I see myself thinking I am too good for this person, I stop and I breathe. I allow myself to return to the present moment within the realization and understanding that I must first get to know a person before I can judge a person.

I commit myself to get to know this person.

Another prominent experience in my day was experiencing the emotion of regret in relation to sleeping in.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to experience regret in relation to sleeping in.

When and as I see myself go into the experience of regret in relation to sleeping in, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that this reaction is related to information and knowledge I’ve absorbed in relation to this point and so, in such moments, I allow myself to return to the present moment, take a breath, and apply myself within common sense.

I commit myself to sleep until I feel rested and not allow thoughts or ideas about going back to sleep once I’ve already awoken influence me.


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