Tyler's Journey to Life

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 01 Feb 2015, 19:16

Day 47- Resistance to reading others

I have often experienced a resistance to reading others’ blogs. What am I experiencing here? Specifically, I have thoughts in relation to the blogs being too long. Thus, there is a negative polarity where: if the blog is too long, I don’t want to read it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reading others’ blogs because of the belief they are too long.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not stable enough to read others’ blogs.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to not realize that believing I am not stable enough to read another’s blog implies that I have an ulterior motive while reading blogs instead of just being there with the words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have an ulterior motive while reading others’ blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have an ulterior motive while reading others’ blogs because I am afraid of learning through them how I can more effectively expand myself through my own blogs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear expanding myself through blogs.

When and as I see myself react in fear to expanding myself through blogs, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that expanding myself through blogs is a gift only I can give to myself.

I commit myself to blog consistently within the spirit of expanding myself as a gift to myself.

When and as I see myself resist reading others’ blogs, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that this resistance is a defense mechanism meant to prevent me from expanding myself through others’ support offered in the form of a blog or vlog and so I no more accept and allow such resistance to hold me back.

I commit myself to claim my birthright of self-expansion through reading another’s blog or listening/watching a podcast or vlog and within this, letting go of the fear I have created for myself around ‘where’ this self-expansion will ‘take me’. The implication being that I remain the directive force, stable, here, within the reading or watching or listening and thus need not fear being taken away somewhere unpleasant through exposing myself to blogs or vlogs but merely can see it as it is: a cool opportunity to get to know myself through another.

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 04 Feb 2015, 14:47

Day 48- Resistance to reading others (Part 2)

I checked out the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog for the first time in a while and found myself experiencing quite a resistance to reading it. It’s like everything shut down and this tiredness came over me- not a cool reaction.

heavens-journey-to-lifeI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a tiredness while reading the Heaven’s JTL blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience reading the blog as a threat.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what will happen to me if I read the Heaven’s JTL blog.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine reading the blog aloud taking me on a process that I wouldn’t enjoy and then reacting to this imagining as a projection- instead of stopping myself within that moment within the realization and understanding that it was exactly that: a projection = not real.

When and as I see myself experience a tiredness while reading Heaven’s JTL blog, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that this tiredness comes from my mind as a resistance to learning about myself in such a way as to no more give power over my mind in all aspects of my life.

I commit myself to read the Heaven’s JTL blog daily as a cool point of self-support.

When and as I see myself experience reading Heaven’s JTL blog as a threat, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that, as I am responsible for me, I can do nothing that threatens who I really am. Instead of reacting to the words before me, I accept and allow myself to read the blog within the understanding and realization that I need to commit myself to anything that I don’t ‘want’ to do, but check in with myself here within the realization and understanding that I have created a polarity around my process that also involves an element of time where I have considered that delving into process ‘full-heartedly’ is ‘good’ and, combined with an urgency colored by the suffering of others in this world, have created the belief that I ‘should’ and ‘must’ jump into process immediately even if it makes me feel exceedingly uncomfortable- and the opposite end of this polarity here is that to not jump in in a sudden and uncomfortable fashion is ‘bad’ and ‘unfair’ to those not in such a position to commit to change through reading, writing, and practical application.

Thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the belief within and as me that I can somehow involve myself in something I don’t want to do through/as reading Heaven’s JTL blog- instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that such a belief is simply me fearing being lost in the energy of feeling compelled to do so as a reaction to the powerlessness inherent in such a lostness.

Contrarily, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I don’t immediately and uncomfortably lose myself in a process involved with reading Heaven’s JTL blog, I am doing something ‘evil’.

When and as I see myself fear what will happen to me if I read Heaven’s JTL blog, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that such a fear is based in the belief that I can lose myself within my mind’s energies and so I allow myself to bring myself back here, the physical, where a blog is simply physical words on the screen and I can choose to read them within my OWN process of self-change.

I commit myself to read Heaven’s Journey to Life blog without fear of doing something I don’t want to do.

When and as I see myself believe that if I don’t immediately and uncomfortably involved myself in a process that includes reading Heaven’s JTL blog, I am doing something ‘evil’, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that I must ultimately direct my process of self-change HERE and so, I commit myself to exercise Common Sense within my self-application such that I no more allow myself to get lose in energies of the mind related to what I ‘should’ or ‘should not’ be doing.

Investigate The Living Income Guaranteed Proposal by the Equal Life Foundation for a blueprint for ending poverty and boosting the economy so we can all live and express ourselves to our utmost potential

Visit the Forum to share and learn more about the process of self-change through the DIP Lite and DIP Pro online courses w/Buddy support

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 05 Feb 2015, 06:16

Day 49- Victimizing myself

I’ve had a repeating experience in which committing to spending time with my mother is experienced as a bad idea. To clarify, by committing to spending face to face time with her in the future, it is as if I am subject to her resonances and in this way compromise my own process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that, in spending time with my mother, I am subject to her resonances in a negative fashion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 1, because of A and B.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to A.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself not realize that A implies….
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use A to justify 1, instead of….
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to B.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that B implies that I….
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to B –instead of….
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and realize that A and B indicate that I am 2…

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach the negative emotional energy of entrapment to hanging out with my mom, because of imagining enjoying my process more if I am not subject to my belief that I must hang out with my mom and because I believe I can be subject to anything of/as my mother.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine enjoying my process more if I am not subject to my belief that I must hang out with my mom.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself not realize that imagining enjoying my process more if I am not subject to my belief that I must hang out with my mom implies that I have not realized that I need not be subject to the belief that I must hang out with my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use imagining enjoying my process more if I am not subject to my belief that I must hang out with my mom to justify attaching the negative emotional energy of entrapment to hanging out with my mom, instead of seeing hanging out with my mom as a cool reference point for me as a judgement of my stability.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe I can be subject to my mother.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that believing I can be subject to my mother implies that I am not the directive force of myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe I can be subject to my mother- instead of realizing that I can establish an equal and one relationship to/as my mother here.

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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 23 Apr 2015, 17:12

Day 50- Redefining Value

It seems as if my life has reached a sort of plateau. Not much seems to be going on. I’ve read somewhere that this is an indication that I am not pushing myself in my process.

newjob

Something that I am hesitant to commit to is a new job. I can see this is related to negative memories I have of experiences working int the past where I am afraid that I will find myself in another negative situation. One thing that I have thought about in relation to a new job is that it will become apparent to a potential employer that my personal life is not together and he/she will then not want to hire me. Within this scenario, I effectively cut myself off from the opportunity of employment with this company for some time. I set off red flags and then its a no-go from there.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear exposing my lack of personal support in seeking a job.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that fearing exposing my lack of personal support in seeking a job implies I believe I will then find myself in a situation where I will be forced to walk through the consequences of not having support in my life in front of my potential employer and that this exposure of my consequence will impress poorly upon the potential employer.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to thus disempower myself by giving my potential employer power over me in terms of deciding the value of a job interview situation to me- instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that a job interview is an opportunity to test my effectiveness in communicating and, should it not go well, it is a valuable learning opportunity to do better the next time. Within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how it is that I have come to define one single job interview/job situation as the end-all and be-all of my employment hunt, where if I fail to secure a job at the first place I look/the place for which I think I want to work, that is a judgement on me as a whole where it must then indicate I am generally unemployable/going to fail in further attempts to seek work.

I commit myself to, when and as I see that I am reacting to seeking a job within the fear of exposing myself as supposedly lacking a social network, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize and understand that my personal life is not what defines me in a fatalistic sense, but that it exists to provide feedback to me in terms of what I must then work on. I therefore commit myself to approach my personal life in terms of a project that needs renovation and use the feedback I receive through interactions such a job interviews to see where I am not yet effectively applying myself.

When and as I see that I am hesitant to apply for a job because I fear that it will cause me to expose myself in a distasteful way to my employer, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that this fear of exposure is preventing me from seeing myself and, thus, learning from my situation. I commit myself to apply for jobs that interest me within the realization and understanding that the feedback I get from those in the job situation can be valuable to me in learning where I need to improve/where I am effective in my application.

When and as I see myself giving my potential employer power over me to determine the value to me of a job interview situation, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize and understand that such situations are an opportunity for me to test the effectiveness of my communication- as effective communication would lead to a job for me if it was workable for both my potential employer and I- nothing more or less than that. I commit myself, thus, to approach a job interview with an ‘open mind’, wherein I commit myself to not draw premature conclusions about the value of committing to an interview but submit myself to this valuable opportunity to learn.

Within this another point opens up where I can see that I have defined the value of a situation, especially such as where I am considering hanging out with someone/ a group, within a polarity of positive/negative. My fears lead me to imagine the hanging-out-time to not go so well and thus result in a negative value for me. There have been times where I have thus decided to NOT hang out with people in order to avoid this ‘debit’ on my life.

In contrast, I only allow myself to commit to situations within which I can perceive a positive value for myself if I were to attend. This, too, is self-limiting as the implication is that self-interest must define what is an acceptable situation within which to place myself. Thus, I am committed to a situation based upon its perceived value to me and therefore, before I even begin participating, I delimit the situation to ‘where I can see it benefits me’ instead of allowing it to evolve naturally into an expression that is best for everyone involved.

I would rather take a step back for a moment and reassess the value of such situations within the consideration that- this world is profoundly consequential as it is. What I mean by this is that our world is characterized by consequence in all aspects as a reflection of the relationships within which we allow ourselves to participate such that we cannot escape the daily reminders of this allowed and accepted existence of consequence. What’s important to realize here is that this outer consequential-existence is also a reflection of the inner existence within each of us and so- it is within this context of manifested consequence, within and without, that we find ourselves attempting to navigate the world.

Thus, by taking a measure of humility, I am able to step back from this dichotomy of avoiding negative-valued interactions and seeking positive-valued interactions to realize that it is exactly this type of limited, self-interested behavior that created and continues to create the consequential existence within which I and others find ourselves.

What would be far better and more ‘valuable’ to me would be for me to “neutralize” or “ground” my assessment of ‘value’ in this world within the context of- what can I learn about myself and how I participate in this world from this situation? Instead of- will this maybe ‘hurt’ me or will this ‘add value’ to my life- I can instead commit to a situation and then, instead of seeking or avoiding a certain outcome, thereby limiting the benefit I can actually receive from the situation, navigate it as best I can and utilize the feedback I get, ‘good’ or ‘bad’, to learn where I am not completely effective in my application and from there, change.

Therefore, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to approach future situations from the perspective of avoiding a negative situation as I can see that this is limiting my participation in such situations to simply “avoiding a negative imagined scenario”. Within this, I am not allowing myself to potentially expose myself within such situations, immersing myself in them so that I may “meet my maker” as myself as the creator of the self that I am within such situations. By playing the avoiding game, I am not even granting myself to opportunity of the negative experience- I am simply giving myself nothing! There is not much more limiting in this world than nothing.

In contrast, I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to only commit to those situations where I can perceive a ‘positive’ ‘value’ to myself before I even enter them. Here, I can see that this is an attempt at control, wherein I am delimiting the boundaries of the situation before I enter it so that, in case something happens and I decide to pull out- that is, not really fully commit ALL of myself to the situation, but sort of just stand there through it so that I receive the credit from being there without the vulnerability of full participation- I have already determined the positive ‘value’ to me of the situation and therefore it is supposedly worth it to me.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that, by defining a future situation as ‘positive’ and using this as the impetus to participate, I am actually robbing myself of all that could come of such a situation if I were to only stand in there and fully participate (risking exposure), but instead actually “feeding the negative” as it were. By allowing myself a back-door of self-sabotage by saying- well, if things go south and I fail to participate fully- at least I have been smart and made sure the situation has ‘some’ benefit to me, what I am doing is allowing the negative underlying mind-energy that is the real reason for me participating in the situation to remain within and as me as a defining force of my participation in my world, such that the positive benefit I have convinced myself in my mind that I will receive from the situation is my compensation for not giving myself the opportunity/gift of exposing myself and thus learning about myself.

When and as I see myself avoiding a situation that I have defined as having a negative value to me in my mind- I stop and I breathe. I see and realize and understand that avoiding the negative as I have defined it in my mind is actually robbing myself of the opportunity to explore the negative by facing myself and seeing what it is of myself that created the resistance to the situation in the first place. I commit myself to participate in situations that I may define as being a negative for me/ creating negative value in my life, such that I may thus expose myself and learn from the situation/my self in the situation.

When and as I see myself prematurely limiting my participation within a situation by defining it as a benefit/ a ‘positive’, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that defining situations as a benefit/‘positive’ is only allowing a backdoor for my limited half-participation in them by creating a false-trade-off. Instead, I commit myself to check myself before entering such situations to ensure that I have not limited my participation to ‘getting through it to receive the benefit’ but instead allow myself to participate fully, within the Here-moment, even and especially if such situations provide me the opportunity to expose/see myself and thus learn something new.

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 28 Apr 2015, 08:19

Day 51- Sleeping as Avoidance

Upon awakening this afternoon, I thought there is nothing important for me to do and went back to sleep.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is nothing important for me to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, in that moment, allow myself to go back to sleep instead of getting up and attending to the practical matters of my day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not immediately stop the thought and get up and attend to the practical matters of my day.

Self-commitments and SCSs

When and as I see myself think there is nothing important for me to do, I stop and I breathe. I realize, see and understand that there is always something I can be doing within practically caring for myself.

I commit myself to attend to the practical matters of my day.

When and as I see myself following a thought related to avoiding my responsibilities and giving in to sleep, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that sleeping will not accomplish the goals for my day.

I commit myself to in such moments check myself with breath and immediately rise to accomplish the tasks I am required.

When and as I see myself not immediately stopping participating in procrastination, I stop and I breathe. I see and realize that procrastination does not serve me in accomplishing the tasks that I require to upkeep my personal space and therefore,

I commit myself to transcend procrastination when it comes to the practical matters of my personal chores.

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 03 May 2015, 07:31

Day 52- Is it possible to maintain a selfish lifestyle indefinitely?

I’m sorry that I decided to seek a life of selfish experiences instead of walking as jesus would have walked. I remember the exact moment I made this decision. The funny thing is, a part of me knew that this simply wasn’t possible in a practical sense over the long run. At one point, I can remember sort of creating an out-scenario within my mind as to how I would deal with minimizing the consequences- I knew there were consequences- of living such a lie-f. I decided that, after I had lived selfishly for some time, I would become a teacher. By giving back in such a way, I was protecting myself (to the extent possible) from any karmic backlash. This, I figured, was the best way to have the best of both worlds: to live selfishly for a while and then to give back- within this scenario, I knew that there would be consequences from living selfishly, but I figured that by living selflessly after that, I would lessen the damage.

You may be wondering: did you plan work out- did everything go as you’d expected it?

Excuse me, but: Hahahahahahahahahaha! No.

What I found was that, while the plan may have worked “on paper” (in my mind), making it a reality was much more difficult. It turns out, perhaps to your surprise, that people are not so willing to facilitate such a life-plan. By facilitate, I mean people aren’t necessarily willing to provide the jobs and therefore funding required to uphold such a selfish lifestyle.

After I made this plan, I dropped out of school so that I could make money and have enough money to party. After being fired from various jobs, the only one I could maintain was a graveyard shift at a diner with a boss and coworkers who treated me terribly. Besides not paying enough to fund my desired lifestyle, it turns out working nights and sleeping during the day is bad for your health. Being on a different schedule than everyone else also hurt my social life. I was miserable.

More on this later, maybe. ;)

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tylersr
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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 07 May 2015, 23:57

Day 53- Avoidance is the Life of Me

I have a fear that if when I contact a particular person in my reality, he will not want to spend time with me/be my friend. While we used to be good friends, we drifted apart and only recently have I made a concerted effort to spend time with him again. Despite texting about meeting up, when it’s gotten closer to the times we talked about, he’s given different reasons as to why we can’t meet.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being rejected by X as a friend.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that fearing being rejected by X as a friend implies that I am dependent upon having X be my friend.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dependent upon having X as a friend.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that no one else is worth having as a friend.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that thinking and believing that no one else is worth having as a friend implies that I have not explored having other friends.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that X is a more valuable person to have as a friend than others.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that thinking and believing that X is a more valuable person to have as a friend than others implies that I do not trust myself to reach my utmost potential without having X as a friend.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about being rejected by X as a friend.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach the emotional energy of fear to being rejected by X as a friend.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that, in avoiding confronting X about my thought that he doesn’t want to be my friend, I am actually avoiding the negative emotional energy of fear associated with not having him as a friend, instead of seeing and realizing that I do not require someone that doesn’t want to be my friend in order to reach and live my utmost potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear confronting X about our relationship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the fear of confronting X about our relationship exist within and as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself with X in believing that he will have a better life without me and I will suffer while not having his friendship.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my fear of being rejected by X in friendship is related to my relationship with my mother where, being dependent upon her in my childhood, I learned to appease her in order to remain on her ‘good side’ and thus maintained an internal inventory on what would upset her and avoided doing those things.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that this fear of upsetting my mother is based upon fearing not getting what I wanted from her, where I desired positive things like dessert or being able to play with my friends and so went out of my way to ensure that I avoided doing things that would upset her. At the same time, I resisted negative things like being grounded or not having dessert. Thus, I can see a polarity-control system wherein I was indoctrinated to fear losing positive things and gaining negative things such that I would alter my behavior to maintain a certain image and likeness within my mother. In so doing, direct communication was lost and I learned to simply play the game, cleverly creating images of myself in my mother that I calculated within my mind would result in favorable outcomes for me based upon my likes and dislikes. I can see how this sort of behavioral conditioning has gotten me into trouble as I’ve sought jobs in the world where I’ve been rather successful in creating an image of myself as, for example, hireable within a manager’s eyes in order to get the job, only to have our relationship later break down when my performance wasn’t up to their standards. Whereas, if I had employed direct communication in/as myself, perhaps I would not have been hired but would have avoided the miscommunication that comes with manipulating the image of oneself within anther’s “eyes”.

It’s interesting, because it is exactly this type of assumptive relationship-manipulation that serves to perpetuate problems in our world today: many simply believe that it is unrealistic or impossible to solve a problem like poverty based upon the ideas we have about ourselves and each other such as “we’re too apathetic to create political solutions” or “poor people actually choose to be poor and if they really wanted to change their situation, they would.” Meanwhile, how many people have actually sat down with another and talked about possible solutions to poverty? That’s why the current increase in interest surrounding a basic income is awesome. People are beginning to realize that we create the world we live in, including each one’s relationship to money, and therefore it is possible to implement new policies like guaranteeing the means to live a decent life for every person.

Investigate a living income guaranteed and educate yourself on THE solution to end poverty and create a better world.

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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 08 May 2015, 04:33

It’s interesting, because it is exactly this type of assumptive relationship-manipulation that serves to perpetuate problems in our world today: many simply believe that it is unrealistic or impossible to solve a problem like poverty based upon the ideas we have about ourselves and each other such as “we’re too apathetic to create political solutions” or “poor people actually choose to be poor and if they really wanted to change their situation, they would.” Meanwhile, how many people have actually sat down with another and talked about possible solutions to poverty? That’s why the current increase in interest surrounding a basic income is awesome. People are beginning to realize that we create the world we live in, including each one’s relationship to money, and therefore it is possible to implement new policies like guaranteeing the means to live a decent life for every person.


Very cool realization that emerged from this point you're walking Tyler, I fully agree on this -thank you for sharing!

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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 11 May 2015, 11:18

Day 54- Avoidance (Part 1)

A recurring experience I’ve had in relation to my mom includes the idea that her expression somehow makes my life more difficult. Specifically, I have experienced a fear that I will be forced to compromise myself because of my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be forced to compromise myself because of my mom.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself realize that fearing that I will be forced to compromise myself because of my mom implies I do not trust myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to unconditionally trust me, here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sex.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that fearing sex implies that I fear STDs.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear STDs.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself realize that fearing STDs implies I have not stabilized myself within and as my sexual expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the thought of fearing STDs direct and control my relationship to sex, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I must direct my relationship to sex for and as me, and that giving control over my relationship to/as sex to a fear of an idea about STDs is just a way of avoiding coming to terms with my relationship to sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mother for destabilizing me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being destabilized.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that it is up to me to ensure that the physical words I write have a reference point in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of not considering my relationship with/as physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to not realize that fearing the consequences of not considering my relationship with/as physical reality is backchat as a personality-program designed to further delay any opportunity I may give myself to confront physical reality.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize my relationship with the word confront wherein I had set up within my mind this intense scenario of ‘coming to terms’ wherein I’d imagined a difficult or uncomfortable situation around facing what I’ve become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid confronting what I’ve become in physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thus create a polarity-construct within and as confront wherein confronting was seen as a negative and thus avoided where I’d instead opt to utilize various avoidance mechanisms in order to not face a moment-of-exposure in physical reality, allowing my mind to in one moment take over and make a decision for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek the positive in attempting to avoid confrontation with myself, where I allow and accept a self-participation here of delusion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought “a better opportunity will show up/present itself to me/come serendipitously” to justify avoidance, instead of seeing and realizing that nothing will magically come to me- that’s not how this reality works- but that I must absolutely create the opportunities I require to continue applying myself within the principle of what is best for all.

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Re: Tyler's Journey to Life

Postby tylersr » 13 May 2015, 02:28

Day 55- Moving Past Self-Judgement towards Self-Correction in relation to Avoidance (Part 2)

The abuse of life reflects me back to myself. The negligent relationship I have with my inner reality betrays a profound apathy towards life. My ‘outer’ reality would not reflect something abusive back to me if my inner reality was sufficiently purified and pure expression was allowed to pour forth. That this is an indication of separation from and as one’s life force is less important than actually correcting it.

religionandsharing

Thus erodes any personal responsibility for and as all life: no, we’ve already given that up: all that remains is the damaged realities we’ve created for ourselves. There is, however, no personal moral attraction to turning things around. No, there is no legitimacy to the societal bias against even its worst parts, for, until the abusive relationship with life is given up, its consequences are irrelevant. This is not to apologize for antisocial behavior, but to recognize it as the reality one and all have allowed themselves to participate within, such that all that matters now: is moving on to a non-abusive reality.

It’s quite simply, really.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the abusive nature of reality is reflecting the abusive nature of myself in/and as reality, where I’ve accepted and allowed God in my Image and Likeness to be limited to the expressive power of abuse. Thus, God as the physical has stepped in and reflected this failure to be responsible for my Creation as myself.

In that sense, to be a sinner is not to be dwelled upon as a personal moral failure, though that it is, but as a natural consequence of abdicating one’s responsibility to/towards reality. It’s interesting that ‘the Universe’ thus has a built in mechanism like that where if human beings continue to take it so far as the threaten self-destruction at the hands of their mind, that they will be corrected by the very creation they’ve manifested. Because: why would the universe ever allow even one aspect of itself to self-destruct: all parts are suddenly sacred.

Thus, it is important to remember that, lest society judge these poor souls, they are simply trapped in an early stage of their process compared to those who have, for example, walked a process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications for years.

But to imprint/project/fabricate/cover over ˆsomeone else in their reality^ as being devolved or unsatisfying is nothing more than a projection: everyone who will make it through this process is predetermined and we are all equal in the end. It matters not whether or not someone is apparently contributing to life or seems to be more directed by/as it: to claim the former and scorn the latter is a dubious claim if only because the wisdom implied in this self-compliment is sorely lacking.

The only real law of the universe is self-responsibility. This can only be learned by knowing oneself, so to speak, a process that is walked by people everyday through blogging and vlogging and sometimes publishing this work, which you can catch here: https://www.facebook.com/7yearjourneytolife/timeline.

Because the exact same thing that was true when we accepted and allowed abuse as life: our abdication to/towards it, is the same thing that remains if we ourselves do not ultimately move ourselves to change (and thus to change life). This is where self-forgiveness is so cool: it is a tool with which one can change one’s relationship to existence and thus to ourselves, by releasing those patterns of thought, word, and deed which constitute our participation in reality and commit ourselves to a process of being and becoming what’s best for all.

The really Taoist element of all this, the simple Grace available to all who would seek it, is simply that there is no moral imperative to even change. Morality is always an opinion projected upon reality. Change is an imperative, but only inasmuch as you will continue to exist eternally in a relationship of abuse until you actually change that relationship with the internal and thus the external into one of a constant dynamic movement towards and as what’s best for all. Empowering, but not pressuring. That’s also why it is important to not allow and accept oneself to become too hard oneself such that stress is brought upon oneself especially in relation to “how things supposedly are” because this is a trap of the mind to limit one into being/becoming less than their utmost potential and thus continue feeding the mind as energy. In fact, at the beginning of one’s process, it is absolutely going to appear as if one has an insurmountably difficult process ahead of them, that the suffering will be basically impossible to overcome to create Heaven on Earth.

But this is unreasonable.

Consider it thusly: As you agree that abdication of self-responsibility is key to the problems of both the inner and outer worlds, than it is easy to see that not only do people experiencing themselves living in a reality characterized as abusive have the issue of not having their inner reality worked out to deal with, but simultaneously existing in an abusive world. Thus, someone wanting to truly change has clearly has a lot of work to do: the transformation of not only the inner but ultimately the outer universes to a pure expression of joy. Anyone who dares judge another must have forgotten their own place in this process.

So, it is not to judge, compare, experience envy or regret to/towards another, but simply to recognize that it is possible to change one’s relationship towards oneself and one’s mind, oneself and one’s body, and oneself and external reality.

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