Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 13 Oct 2017, 19:26

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... ciples-11/

Day 647: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (11)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Visibly Living the Principles - Actively living the proof of what can be accomplished when individuals live their potential by ensuring that these principles come through in all that I do, in all areas of my life, so that the example I set for others always stands for What is Best for All.

From taking responsibility to trusting in myself, to correcting my relationships and giving as I would like to receive, without being self-aware that I am Here and I am me, and I created this me to be who I have become as the irresponsible one, dictating while being controlled by my overly possessiveness, due to the extreme fear of loss that I existed as, was not possible, simply because, I believed what was going on inside of me was real, and this that I see Here that’s solidified in front of me was the illusion, which was actually the delusion I lived within and still now, most in humanity, when all one have to do is to investigate more into the first profound realization that one has on any level, that would make way for one’s awareness to come through even more, to start seeing oneself within everything around you, that is you, into embracing oneself for what one has accepted and allowed in one’s world, then realizing that one is responsible for everything that exist, which may seem as a lot, but isn’t when the correction is done within oneself, as we were placed Here to maintain this Earth/Planet and existence as a whole, but have slowly fallen to the waste side of things, wasting life after life, after life, in chase after an energetic experiences, which in fact is made up of constructs of the Mind, that was designed to keep us busy with bullshit while our physical was being Mined for the energy we so chased after, but now we in this day and age are actually blessed in a way to have the opportunity to come across Principles that can be lived by each one of us, presented by Desteni, that I’ve been writing about in the short Blog Series, that has assisted me to live the change visibly that I want to see in this world, and not just spew lip service and/or waiting to die for someone to come and save me, (because it’ll NEVER happen) the only never that is forever. Encompassed within all of this, when lived and taken responsibility for, is the Act of doing “What is Best for All”, with include You, Me and All Life, so I am/have been and still is in the process of enacting these Principles in my Life in the becoming of living proof of what can be accomplished when living my potential, by ensuring that these principles (that I have been writing about, and now living) come through in all that I do, in all areas of my life, so that the example I set for others always stands for what is best for all, so why not You.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 15 Oct 2017, 20:53

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... ciples-12/

Day 648: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (12)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

My physical body is my temple - I honour and support my physical body as an expression of me. I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life. I take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on the physical body and within this I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only diet and physical wellness but also internal stability and clarity.


We’ve defined and treated it as a vessel, as if it’s something you can just get in and drive, that’s only here to carry our lazy asses around, and when we’re finished with it, it’s disposable, as we move on to somewhere out there, then fine ourselves right back Here, because T-Here is, Time-Here, going Nowhere really fast in our minds while standing still right Here, which makes us always Now-Here, so what better to do than to guard as the regard to your human physical body in everything you do, because there’s no getting away from yourself that easy, we will/have to face ourselves for what we’ve done to, and haven’t do for ourselves, to all that is this Human Physical body, in reference to the Disregard/Lack of Consideration thereof and/or the Expulsion of Care away from it.

My physical Body is my Temple, without spiritualizing it or despising the way I look, being that it’s life and life remains forever, have we ever questioned the labels we place upon ourselves, in relations to the well-being/presumed care of our Physical Bodies, I mean I went from eating any and everything growing up, and when I got up, through gathered knowledge and information felt that it was bad to eat pork, and so became a non-pork eater and thought that this was the way to being healthy, then into being selective and only eating chicken and fish, calling myself a non-meat eater, to experiencing no change what so ever within me, but only got hungrier. I’ve been a Vegetarian, but for only two weeks, and I’ve fasted and felt as if I would starve to death lol, so that didn’t work either, but not once throughout these time did I simply ask my body, what it need, outside of my mental craving, meaning there was no connection, as I believed myself to be the “head honcho” in charge, in fact in my head, but charging my Mind Consciousness System that was controlling me, prompting me to change beliefs, at the change of the wind, to being full of ‘good grief’ every time my stomach would hurt.

The shock treatment going from one extreme to the next, one food group to the next, from one form of Di-et to the next, all the while really Dying to Eat, thinking Diets was good for me, but was the wrong diet. My honour was based on being honorable, which I showed as an expression the presentation of me, how I carried myself, which was a façade and only view on the outside.

My nurturing was making sure I took my vitamins, having a full belly and working out every now and then, with no insurance of how I would feel at any given moment, being that I was always in my mind, had no consideration nor realization that even if I felt a moment of healthiness, would soon be interrupted by the next thought and/or emotion that would come up within and as me, that effected my physical body negatively.

Therefore, my self-awareness and self-care was null in void, nowhere to be found, because I was missing the main point, that of internal stability to be able to see with clarity, so;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined and treated my body as if it was a vessel that’s here for me to use (drive around) and discard, in the attainment of something greater after this life, without realizing that life resides in my Human Physical Body in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself disregard my Human Physical Body, in feeding my Mind the substance that is me, instead of my Physical, nurturing substance for it to be able to support me to reach my fullest potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given my directive principle of control to my mind, that dictated me into shocking my Human Physical Body, every time I would go from one food group to the next, one diet to the next, from one extreme to the next, thinking that the external presentation of me, (my body) was enough, but was in the service of other and not myself, my physical.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give my physical body the absolute chance to reach its fullest potential as the ultimate expression that I can be, but have only done this in spurt in bits and pieces, therefore;

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to in totality, honour and support my physical body as an expression of me, where I nurture it and care for it in order to ensure my best possible expression in this life, within that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take into consideration the impact of thoughts and emotions on my physical body, but instead let myself literally be eaten alive, therefore, I commit myself to practice self-awareness and self-care through not only my diet and physical wellness, but also internal stability and clarity.

I realize that My Physical body is my Temple and from hence forth, I will do my best, within practice, while walking my process to treat it as such, until I am able to amalgamate into it, as it, as one, as all, doing that which is best for all, all life on this planet and in existence. And that conclude my take on The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 18 Oct 2017, 20:16

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... ncing-act/

Day 649: The Balancing Act

School, work, survival, money, relationships, paying for this, paying for that, families with Kids (for some), church (for most), where we play as if we got the holy ghost, a hard Act to follow, in the short time we have to live, claiming that I’m on a tight schedule, walking a tight rope that’s loosely fit just enough for me to hang man myself with, if I lose my balance, in the sense of things falling apart in my world, is it wrong to do what you must in order to survive, if all that you know is what you’ve been doing for quite some time, I mean it’s easy to say to someone, change what you’re doing, but not that easy to walk the change with that someone, especially when it’s a world of difference, between what you’re doing and what they do, making the Balancing Act that much different for each individual.

Imagine if you will for a moment, oneself standing on one leg with your arms out to the side, looking up to the sky, having to hold this position for a period of time throughout your life, as the space between work and play, vacations and holiday, My Process and the things going on in my Life as a consequential test factor to my resolve, while dealing with your own mind in the midst of it all, where a fall is eminent, if one’s balance is not maintained, I mean how have we become so used to our self-placed hardships, instead of correcting our stance, and even within the correction at times, it’s hard to stand, but failing is not an option, because the world/humanity and this existence is depending each one of us (We Are) to do our part to correct and change this trap we’ve set for ourselves, called the delusion of infinity.

In the Circus one has to be without a mind of thoughts to perform the death defying stunts they do, total concentration and focus is needed to maintain the balance in between life and death, which brings up the question of; How are we (as a whole) able to maintain an attentiveness to life, from the moment we’re born, until we die/cross over to being back Here again, as we are all Here and should make the best of it, which would make the Balance of things More than just an Act.

In fact, it is possible, and takes the redefinition of the word Balance from how we have defined/perpetuated and lived this word, in layman’s terms as; an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and stable, which should be, an even distribution of Goods and Services (Money, Food, Clothing with Shelter) spread Equally throughout Humanity as a whole, enabling all to remain upright and stable, but instead we’ve sat on this idea for generations on end, which changed real Balance into Weight.

But wait, ‘I’m holding myself together though, look at all the money I got (the holy ghost in fact), people depend on me, for many thing and I’m satisfied with that’, but what is the stimulation of satisfaction that pleases you but a form of modern day slavery, due to the attention you’re receiving, with the ability to spitefully say No when someone don’t follow your preprogrammed design, based in self-interest, when all one has to do, in perpetuating real Balance, is to assist those others to stand on their own two feet, by showing them how to achieve what you have, I mean it’s evident that this form of Balancing Act is due to our Separatist, Egotistical way of thinking and being, controlled by our minds, that can easily be eradicated by, taking responsibility for the personalities in characters we have come to define as us, through the things we see and go through, (by Choice), into loving the hell we’ve created and now live in. So, but what the hell are we waiting for, if (Hypothetically Speaking), hell done already froze over a countless amount of times?

Responsibility can be taken HERE, that would change our inherent Balancing Act into a real Balance in fact, standing side by side with all as life, as you, as me, as everything we see, doing what is best for all, in all ways, not more placating congregation, into placing money in your pocket, but presenting a message at no charge, without energy charges attached to it, but common sensical speaking to the common man that’s seeking the truth, and not the watered-down version.

I mean which version of self, has to come to the forefront in order to make real Balance a reality for all, do one have to lose oneself and/or everything one has to realize, (Without Acting) the real Balance needed in order for us, Humanity as a whole to go on living and not surviving? To live is to expand/grow and develop oneself into one’s utmost potential, to survive is to walk the tight rope of life, as we know it, acting as if we’re balanced, but in fact hanging on by a thread, it’s always Easier to make the choice before the choice is forced upon us, wouldn’t you agree? Stand for Life on your own two feet on solid ground, where the stability of Balance is real and not up or out there somewhere in your mind walking a tight rope thinking that you’re fine. This I am currently in the process of walking to create and maintain a healthy Balance of things within my life, so why not you?

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 20 Oct 2017, 21:05

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... go-out-to/

Day 650: “Our Thoughts and Prayers goes Out to…”

A touchy subject this is, being sympathetic for having sympathy, (when the simple things in life should be corrected, like self-hate) for those who lost their lives, is a symphony of emotions that screams empathy, I mean looking into me, I see the partiality that separates our mental reality from what reality really is, and we wonder what goes on in the mind of a Killer, that We are (I hate myself), that’s perpetuated through murderous thoughts we use to delete pieces of ourselves into oblivion, but what about us, when saying our thoughts and prayers goes out to you, that has bounced out of your mouths and into the ears of the believer and went nowhere, as we take a moment of silence…, with heads bowed, looking through our eyelids at the ground, pleading to God that it never happens to me, then wake up from this standing sleep, clapping with a serious look on our faces like yeah, I just sorted that out, as the commentator then say “Play Ball” and that’s it, I mean where is the responsibility in that, not to say that you should be stone cold or anything, but when has a thought and/or prayer, stopped any act of violence, but perpetuated this abuse in the name of the Higher power we’ve prayed too?

Shirts that says; “Shit Happens” is the calling card for the disregard we have for one another, claiming how insane people must be to commit such atrocities, but let’s send Positive thought their way, while Praying to God to wipe out all the sinners from the Earth, thinking that Jesus is going to come back and give all the bums money and kill the rich people, a Devolution in fact, attacking all those who don’t agree with your ideology, but become baffled when the thought you just sent out comes alive and perpetuated throughout the world, but “Shit Happens”.

Let’s come together, as together we stand, (but with no forward movement/Progress) and divided we fall, because we’re all standing on a tight rope with tight lip, that nobody wants to talk about and or have a discussion of substance about, because the motto is; Loose Lips, Sink Ships, without realizing that we’ve been at the bottom of the totem pole for quite some time now, as a tadpole in relations to what life really is and have to offer, how we should live and be all you can be, I mean does it always take a tragedy to bring those few like Minded individuals together, coming together recognizing the problem, but leaving with the same Blame, that the system is broken, with no realization that we’ve created this system from the Systems we are, Preprogrammed Automated Organic Robots, that would rather take pictures and Videos to get the word out, instead of really coming together to talk it out, without the fear of saying the wrong thing, that would lift the veil from over the False Flag Operations that has been taking place, in places around the world for as long as we can remember, but not see, furthering the agenda for the few, while we’re left cowering together in fear as slaves, sending our Thoughts and Prayers out into the Air Waves, to No Avail.

But by all means, if you Pray then Pray, but when you get done Praying, investigate why things are still happening the same way. Let's really take responsibility for what we allow in our world, starting with ourselves.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 22 Oct 2017, 20:45

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 651: Analyze (A Different Perspective)

As an incomplete scan in the mind of how we perceive things/people in our world and reality, coming up with words as definitions to how we define what we see, with the reflectors we call our eye, but in fact only seeing the elaborate presentation of the mind, that house a glimpse of the truth of what’s in front of us, a partiality in fact as the cataract that dims/vails our vision from seeing the real truth of what we’re looking at, therefore as I Analyze, is the saying; And-I-Lie.

Believing in our own opinion that’s not really our own, but own and or paid for by the neglect of ourselves, allowing our flesh to be Mined when reacting in any way to the assumptions of what we see, thinking that we’re seeing and understanding what it is with clarity, then end up walking away, if the picture of the person/thing is not aligned to the definition we’ve created in our minds thereof, therefore the lie we’ve came up with becomes a reality and stored as the defining factor to how we’ll interact or not with this someone or something.

The scripts of how we each are in groups of horoscopic type, have been gathered as knowledge and information that we follow religiously to learn who we are, which in fact is an excerpt into our preprogramming that we use to Analyze one another, stating you know me so well, especially in relationship building, “I mean we should hang out sometime”, which didn’t take long to Analyze at all, because all one did was read the horoscopes and asked ‘what’s your sign’, I mean this has become a typical conversation piece in trying to figure out each other, instead of the time that’s needed, spent together in order to do so.

The complexity of a reaction, causes one to spiteful say without speaking; “Now Analyze that” after an altercation, where one’s Analyzation was not received well, but taken personally, that transformed into being verbally abusive toward one another, where the statement comes up of; “You think you know everything” and/or “You don’t know me” and at times escalating into a momentary worst case scenario of physical abuse, all because we believed the Idea of a thought towards the person in question to materialize, which is most if not all the time all lies about who we think they are, but not, as the gossip of and about them ensues

Which is cause for bringing it back to self, inverting and redefining Analyze to that of a non-partial nor judgmental self-introspection into investigation, to see and correct all the lies I’ve perpetuated as self onto myself and towards others, that would create the ‘And’ as an interim, and before ‘I-Live-Life’, Therefore I Analyze the Data that is Me.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 24 Oct 2017, 21:52

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... d-my-mind/

Day 652: I Changed My Mind

In hindsight, how is this possible, unless you’re standing equal to and one with it, that’s misconstrued and alternated (at times) with a change of heart, as a more “cordial” way of saying it. So, here’s what takes place, as I see it;

After the debate in one’s head, that for a moment changes one’s indecisiveness into a fixed point or position of self-interest, while stating internally; “I might as well (or not), because of this, that and the other”, is the suit we follow, thinking that we’re in the command position with our opinionated self, never seeing the hand of the mind, behind the scenes at work, with a smirk on our face, believing that we got our way and/or doing something on our own, which is in fact a neglect of ownership rights to ourselves, paid for by the statement of; “I Changed My Mind”, else/or, one would not have to say it, but live as an expression of self, decision making.

The excuse we give our-self, firstly through internal conversations, then possibly to the other is; “After Thinking about it, I’ve decided not to”, but the decision only came (for most) after the fear of loss sets in, believing that we would somehow get left holding the short end of the stick, stemming from following the self-created scenario presented by our minds, telling us to change it/change me/don’t trust yourself/ don’t trust them, then walk away satisfied with it, stating I knew it, without realizing what just actually took place.

would feed off of the excitement of the other, because of this sudden change, where here again one weighed the option of either being spiteful with all the power to say No, or seeing and outcome that would put us in a winning position of good karma, thinking positive acts makes for a good life, which in fact it should be natural to do unto others what you would like to be done unto you, if that’s the case, but rarely see it that way, because we’re blinded by the idea of free choice and it’s my right to choose whether or not I want to, until one finds oneself on the other side of the table (per se) in the same position of needing assistance.

But after deliberation and investigation, can the change out of one’s mind truly take place, where the Mind Changing comes in a form of realization of oneself on the verge of perpetuating/repeating an act of old, after the correction of it has taken place, then it becomes, I’ve changed and will not accept and allow my mind to direct me into making the same mistake again, which for most part is the non-consideration of others, to considering another as I would myself, in all ways, therefore;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say at times that I change my mind, to suit my self-interest, instead of investigating the sudden changes that comes up within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I am able to change my mind without standing equal to and one with it, but Instead follow the urge to do so, that my mind presents to me, without question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indecisive when initially leaning towards one way of doing things, then at the last minute and deliberation thereof, I change my mind, instead of realizing that it was my mind changing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have a debate in my head for the best candidate of self-interest on whether or not to do something after saying that I would or wouldn’t, instead of silencing my mind and going with it, as long as it’s not compromising to oneself/myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blindly followed my mind, in thoughts/words and deeds, actions and inactions, believing it to be who I am and justified my actions by saying; “I changed my mind”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have told someone in my past that; “After thinking about it, I decided not to” that suited my self-interest, and the truth in essence, being that of a thought deliberation, not the self-directed true of who I can be when living the word, unconditional decisiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that a mind change should be in a form of realization, that I am on the verge of perpetuating/repeating an act of old, after the correction of it has taken place, where then it becomes, I’ve changed and will no longer accept and allow my mind to direct me into making the same mistake again, and instead to live the words Self-Directedness and so I commit myself to living Self-Directedness and no longer accept and allow myself to believe a mind change is necessary, but instead to change my participation from within and as my mind, into living Self-Awareness and Directedness.

Investigate and Change your own Mind, HERE.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 28 Oct 2017, 20:45

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 653: A Promising Perspective

In the moment of desperation is when we make Promises that’s short lived, a L-I-E in essence while Living-In-Energy, under the premise that someday, I will follow through with this Promise, but right now, it’s all about me and what’s going on in my world as Jurisdiction with you in it to help me out, while falling for a spiteful request from the other, as collateral that would insure that this Promise comes into fruition, because without it, the answer would be, NO.

What makes sense in the moment, is promoted by a beg and a plea, such as; “I Promise that I won’t do that anymore” and/or “I Promise to be faithful and Loving for the rest of my days”, with our fingers crossed behind our backs, and in our minds hoping that the other won’t do the same, as the ginks before the downfall in any of our relationships, but how did it get to this point in the first place, with a deal sealed in emotions and the fear of loss of a feeling received from the other, making one say; “I Promise, with a Please that’s soon to follow, following one’s mind in a repetitive cycle of who got the power now, because when I get it, I’ll do the same to you, but for now I Promise.

A Promise (for most) is in fact a compromise without the CO, the Commanding Officer, which we’ve elected to be our Mind, then forgot that we did so, giving it the power to make decisions and Sow our seeds of Self per se (As any Potential we would have) into the Rotten fruit that we are, have become, by falling for the Promise of free choice, while unable to voice how we really feel about one another, but I Promise you me, I’m for real.
It all starts when you’re little and the promise to be good, to get what you want, your way, my way and the way of the world, as a reward of interest, sweets for most, and for some most of the times, when it gets to that, we’re greeted with a resounding “Nope, next time you’ll listen to me”, that’s a prelude to “But I Promise though” that we’ve picked up from our parents, learning to be the same and do the same towards others in our world, while frustratingly accepting and allowing the same to be done unto us.

But what is it that has us to perpetuate this inferiority towards others in the moment of our wants/needs and desires, without wanting to go out and get the need that we need and desire for our self? I mean I see it as a point of “Too late” and “Easy”, where in some case (as was mine), we wait until it’s too late to handle our responsibilities, then Promise when wanting to take the easy route out, and unless you learn from your mistakes, you’ll find yourself repeating the same self-compromise, as this Promise, over and over and over again, that is until you’ve exhausted all your resources and options, then go looking for a new victim to Promise to, and/or or ask to Promise that they’ll follow through.

In all, our word has become trustless, through the visualization of seeing other not following through with promises made, that’s promoted in Movies and the Media, in our society, creating a normality out of broken Promises, where now we defend against the idea/assumption that everyone we meet is out to get us, trusting no one, because of this engrained fear, therefore we ourselves have become used to say I Promise to others, because it’s the way of the world, as we would excuse it to be, but doesn’t have to be, that’s easier said than done at this point, but not really, because the Correction is now out there to the public, and all we have to do is to step into it, apply and live. So, Follow the above link to start your own process of self-correction for yourself, to bring the trust back within the words you speak, that when collectively all walking together would bring trust back into this world.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 31 Oct 2017, 23:20

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... direction/

Day 654: A Different Direction

Using the mind as our navigation, into the fog we go, to the point of no return, in awe of this elaborate Labyrinth, that amazes us at every turn, thinking I came up with this shit first, and so must be directing me in my world and others that follow me on social media, as we’re all looking for a point of direction as a reflection of me outside of ourselves, instead of seeing directly within me the maze I’m in, claiming that it’s a sin to do this and that, when in fact I do the same things uncontrollably, with no realization of what’s controlling me, perpetuating Dire Acts to attract those who I can direct, under the guise that I’m giving them respect, as long as they follow my rules and what I believe, while remaining unable to see that I’m NOT Directing me. Let’s begin;

When coming to a fork in the road, why is it that we tend to veer off into another direction, (like drifting off in our minds) as an opinionated illusion of grandeur, which is in fact curiosity and not Self directing Self, but sidetracked with the acceptance of a choice that we think is free, while hanging on by the skin of our teeth, I mean who is really directing me if I have to suffer and this is where the blame of another comes in, when all we had to do was to continue moving in a forward direction and direct through correction the faces we’ve made of ourselves, that we’re not willing, but able to face, if we wouldn’t have veered off into suppression and subjugated ourselves into being infected by the direction of our Minds, where in this day and time it should be a crime to think cognitively, because it hasn’t solved any of the problems I now see and face within me.

I mean why fascinate about moving East or West, when the center of the universe is within you, the Self that we are, missed and overlooked, veiled and blinded by the route we took, to get to where we are now, which is nowhere real fast, but would pass up the opportunity of Self-Direction to live in the past, thinking that’s all I know and comfortable with, but only when shit hits the fan is when we’re ready to listen, have a look throughout history, how many times have it been too late, placing our direction in karma and fate, but it’s not our fate to always wait, we do have it within us to self-create ourselves, to Direct ourselves which starts with the redefinition of the word Direction in itself. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived in a state of denial for so long that I was directing myself, unaware that the direction I was taking would take me down a road of isolation, isolating me away from seeing the capability I have of being the best possible me that I can be, giving way to the mind that I have willingly defined as the director of my world and reality, playing out characteristic scenes that’s’ unseen while being alone, that I would perpetuate onto towards others in public, that’s was really not my own, and/.or who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Direction as ‘the following of’, in relations to what came up in my mind as Ego and my self-interest, that would keep me interested in a material world, living a material life in separation from all life that is me, in fact neglecting the me in all, unable to see through the fog of energy I chased after, veering down the path most travelled, into suppression and aggression, straight into being depressed, because I was suffering me the heartache of not being in control of myself.


And so as a correction, I commit myself to Redefining Direction to that of being; The Action taken when one realize that something in one’s world is amiss, where one No Longer miss the obvious as a missed opportunity to stand, but to stand for something and take responsibility for how I currently experience myself in my world and reality and apply corrections when needed, that way I am assured that what comes out of my mouth as assistance to others (when place in such a position) is but a realization of how I have Directed myself and so lived Self-Directed.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 03 Nov 2017, 21:22

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... rspective/

Day 655: A Synthetic Enjoyment Perspective

Very few walks in the park to fulfill one’s desire to be entertained is seen these days, the enjoyment of Nature is put on the Back Burner to enjoying movies with beaches in them, instead of walking on the beach and seeing yourself within it. Taking a moment to become intimate with the little ones that houses themselves around where we walk and place our feet as the realization of they too are me, is out of the question, because (for that), I just don’t have time for the little critters, but to be in my mind where I’ll never get bored is fine with me and enjoying, I mean I need something that I can see, that moves and can interact with, that can show me how to be in today’s society that’s my enjoyment, while silently accepting this self-degradation as my form of entertainment, Synthetic Entertainment to be exact.

Barron neighborhoods that’s still fully occupied, that used to reverb and echoed screams of playing children in the streets, has been taken over by the virtual world of video games and electronics with NO virtue in them, where the want for physical interaction outside the few that do, is null in void, unless it’s perpetuated in a competitive/abusive/self-compromising way. Fathers no longer play catch with their sons any more, but would rather catch 9 ending of a baseball game, it’s ashamed, the little time we have for things that’s substantial, that should be enjoyed as the changing factor of oneself, but instead resisted as too much work and/or too much thinking one have to do to make this happen.

The build up to you know what’s coming next, is always enjoyable, being based on an energetic feeling from the one we think completes us (without a connection) and/or what we can stand for only one night, that allows us to put a notch on our belt, after a one night stand (lying down) lol, is synthetic enjoyment at its finest, I mean if it makes us feel good, must mean we enjoy it, but really though, why are we then depressed in a way after this enjoyment is over, where even the long for more becomes superficial, being that we now need time to rejuvenate/replenish ourselves from the energy we’ve exerted, doing whatever it is that we enjoy, in which case, does the means justify the end we experience? I would think not, when it’s all in one’s mind as something to attain to, like Party and Bullshit, where the enjoyment is in getting ready, therein lies the excitement, but once we get there and realize things are not what we made them out to be in our minds, we become bummed out and chose alcohol and/or a synthetic drug to lift our spirits into achieving this synthetic enjoyment, while exploiting our morals the more we lose touch with reality, as the real internal travesty we experience, which is travelling through our mind into insanity, then waking up the next morning stating to oneself and friends, I enjoyed my-Self, we have to do it again, I mean Really?

Then again enjoyment as we have defined it is not really enjoyment, but an employment of ourselves to and energetic experience, a feeling, that we fill in with fillings, extra additives to forcefully achieve the desired outcome of being happy, while in turn depriving our physical bodies from what it really means to enjoy oneself, in which case a redefinition of the word is in order.

Therefore, I commit myself to redefining enjoyment to that of; being the experience of me regarding my human physical body in every way possible, when at home, work or play - that it should be a joy getting to my utmost potential, by the means provided, as the tools of change, and to live this enjoyment as the process I’m walking to achieve this change in me, that I would like to see in this world and reality.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
Posts: 715
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 05 Nov 2017, 21:28

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... reactions/

Day 656: Personal Reactions

Towards oneself, is when you realize that ‘Hey I’ve never been like this before’, as the Hawk with all eyes on me, that critiques my every move and different mood swing that comes up within and as my self-expression, while sounding out the words; “NO I STOP” to deflect off a Mind possession awaiting to happen, if I were to continue to follow that one thought around in my mind, that I allow to plague me at any time of Day or Night when becoming aware of my Sleep Walking Awake, that can easily turn into a Nightmare everytime we choose to go into our Mind .

Thinking that it’s fine to be hard on oneself in hindsight of a mistake made, stating; “Come on man, you know better”, fuck, shit and whatever else to follow, slowly going down a road leading straight into a mind possession, but when you’re alone and it’s about you, is it a possession in fact or the tipping point we chose to react to, I would say both, while being hot a bothered, by what comes up within and as me, to screaming in the mirror of self, as if you could really take back what you’ve done unto me.

You see the you in the mirror is the me that I speak about and pout when things don’t go our way, which is a, my way out of self-interest, only interested in how I feel in the moment, but the me that’s feeling, is only perpetuating a Personal Reaction towards myself, with nothing or no one to blame but me when self-honest with our-Self, or else end up repeating the same possession over and over again, then into another Personal Reaction.

Reacting to not being able to see how to move past the point into correction, because of this reaction a defense and protection mechanism comes up to veil the point even more, into a state of suppression and if left suppressed calcifies into my body, creating pain that I would feel in my feet, where walking it out is not enough to say the least, but a step in the right direction if one then direct oneself to walk out of this Mind possession.

A habit or a particular behavior played out on behave of one inherent Nature creates pressure in the back of my head regent, causing me to doze off for a spell, then coming back to like What the Hell is this infraction, that triggers me into a Personal Reaction of yell and screaming at the top of my lungs, then in one split moment it’s like, it’s all done and I’m wide awake, as if nothing just happened, when in fact when driving I could have been in an accident, I mean at times this shit don’t even makes sense, until I calm down and apply my Self-Forgiveness in a more quite tone, then start realizing how I got me into this state and place, what thoughts did I think, what route did I take in my mind, that spawned me into spiraling down this hole, and thinking the weight of the world is on my shoulder, but nowhere close, it’s just a Personal Reaction, which in fact could be a cause for one having a Heart attack, where the pressure builds up in one’s chest area and anxiety ensure, which is why one should be equipped with these TOOLS, that will stop such Personal Reactions at the inception thereof, and if it’s still unclear to you, investigate for yourself, the Link Above, because without these tools, my life would still be the same, I would still be playing the same old games, with myself and blaming the world for the way I experienced me, so to me these Personal Reactions are Self-Diminishing,

So (note to self), stop being so finnicky with yourself, it may not be as bad as it seems and if so keep correcting oneself to all is seen/understood and corrected to changing me, which would change me from how I have designed my personality, in to living life practically without any reactions, which would be my life in Journey to living Satisfaction for real.

Thanks for reading.




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