Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
Posts: 701
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 10 Aug 2017, 18:03

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... hats-my-q/

Day 617: That’s My “Q”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.
It's “Quite” interesting how the point of ”Quitting” comes up in the moment of, and wanting to experience “Quantum” Real Time Change, like you can’t have your cake and eat it to, as one reach for the sky to understand everything there is to know about myself, in how I created me, that takes less time then it took for me to get to this point to where I’m at Here in my Process, which when looking back as far as I can, seems as if the time has gone by too “Quick” for me to notice every little thing about myself, but in fact has move “Quite” slow, when slowing myself down enough to realize that I’m limited to Space and Time, because I have defined myself as a Mind that won’t be “Quiet”.

I have days that seems like a “Quiz” to me, with test “Question’s” through Action for me to answer and pass, knowing that it’s worth it, that I have placed these minor obstacles of “Question” to test my resolve within my process, to see if I’m really moving forward or playing with myself, which at times make me laugh because I know exactly what’s going on and Ponder Wow, am I really experiencing this right now, I mean just 4 years ago this type of experience was unheard of, out of the “Question”, which goes to “Question” where was I, because knowing that, is how I can correct myself to not go back there again.

From “Quivering” in fear to remaining calm within a conflictual situation, is “Quite a change for me to say the least, being that this “Quiver” was an expanded Shiver from thought to worst case scenario, in “Quantum” speed, too “Quick” for me to realize to Breathe, which “Qualified” me as a good candidate for Change, but didn’t change the “Quantity” of thoughts going through my mind, that still came up the same, but even more as it seems now that I had started becoming aware of the Nature in which they existed within me, while some would say it’s the “Quality” of the thought – to think Positive, which is still Fear in itself, afraid that the Negative will happen to you, that still didn’t work, but when knowing what’s really out there (Thanks to Desteni ) this Fear started subsiding, being that the unknown was now becoming know and all else left for me to do is to work on myself, to embrace my participation within the creating of this world in the way it is, and correcting it, starting with me. Therefore “Quitting is not an Option. And that’s all I have to say about that, on words starting with the Letter “Q”.

Thanks for Reading.



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Carlton
Posts: 701
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 13 Aug 2017, 01:00

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -and-more/ ‎E

Day 618: “R” An Aspect of “Responsibility” and More

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

I often time “Roll” around picking up things in my pathway off the ground, if I know there’s a trash bin in my vicinity, to “Recycle” is good, but it hasn’t always been that way through my actions, but was always quick to “React” to someone leaving a mess in my immediate vicinity, my home/office/place of business, where I felt that it was “Rude” to come into someone’s space/place and leave your perishable/disposable’s around, therefore I believed if you “Released” it from your paws, it’s your “Responsibility” to pick up/clean it up. Interesting how with this mentality, anytime I was outside in a public place, I would let my Pride/Ego step in, and stop me from “Re-‘Acting, by invoking my Ability to “Respond”, to that in which I see is simply harmful/spiteful, being done to the environment/Earth, as if we’re saying to the Earth; ‘Here’, I took it from you, used it and now smacking you in the face with the “Remnants” of it, take it back, in “Relations” to how we throw Trash on the ground, lit cigarette buds in the bushes and on the grass, or even spitting on the Earth, without a second thought to what we’re doing, because our Minds are too busy with first thoughts “Running” Amuck in our heads, and No I’m not an Activist, but quickly becoming an Actionist when it comes to taking “Responsibility” for my Actions. and care of everything around me that can’t in a way do for themselves, such as the Earth, sort of a different way to look at it, but as a matter of fact. Therefore, I have defined” Responsibility” in a partial sense to only be “Responsible” for certain things that was in my Self-Interest to make me look good and not the things around me.

In fact, what is the “Reason” that we’re so “Reluctant” to pick things up around others, as if it’s a laugh at matter for us doing so? You mean to tell me that girl or guy wouldn’t like you if they see you pick up a piece of paper on the ground “Right in front of them, and if not, that’s probably not the person you should be with and or even try to impress, but imagine if all the world took a moment to pick up that next piece of trash right in front of you, funny thing if one was to get a ticket for the trash on the street, that’s closest to you, lol, I mean call it unfair, but this world would be clean in no time. What spawned this beginning the “R” words with “Responsibility” was, walking into Starbuck there was this empty cup that had been smashed and an empty Cheetos bag on the ground and I simply picked it up, as this girl was walking towards me and as she passed, she said thanks for doing that, as if she worked there, but didn’t, I just looked at her, mumbled something and kept going, thing is it wasn’t about her, but only me acting out of my Ability to “Respond” and Here you have it, that it’s also Not about my Actions, but the assistance the Earth needed in that moment, which is plain and simple, as I see it.

Someone told me that “Respect” is earned and not just given, as if “Respect” is a form of currency to be played with, I mean if you look at it, the majority of “Respect” nowadays is only given to those we envy who are financially established, an authority figure (which is the same as Fearing for “Respect”) and those who we self-interest-ly say that to someone, in hopes of getting something in “Return” from them, which is a few classifications of ways I have defined the word. It seems as if the point of “Respect” is always projected outward, because we don’t and/or have failed to “Respect” ourselves



Positive

Feeling as if I’m always “Right” for what I believed in, made the mere mention of the word “Righteous” a Positive thing, being that all I knew was the belief system in which I was raised, I felt as if I was a “Righteous” person and thus Positive, where the feeling of superiority over other because of what I knew took precedence and couldn’t no one tell me anything, that is until I got out in to the world on my own.

Negative

After hearing the Design of “Religion” then “Realizing” why it was placed here, I became quick to Judge anyone, who was still “Religious” as Negative, that they were the cause for what I went through in life, so to speak, without “Realizing” how I’ve placed myself in this position in the first place.


Sounding of the Words

Roll

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have seen Roll as in Rolling, to be a lazy way to do something, as in Rolling around in my head, Reacting, with emotions and feelings to situations, instead of taking a directive Role in the way I was creating myself to be, therefore, I commit myself to taking and maintaining a directive Role in my Life, in how I define and Change the Nature of me.

Role

Responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used Responsibility in a partial sense of the word, where I would only be Responsible for the things I felt suited my self-interest that would make me look good in front of others. instead of taking Responsibility for all/everything as me. I commit myself to getting to the point of being able to take Responsibility for all as me without question.

Respect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Respect as a form of envy towards someone who was well established financially, without knowing them as who they Really are, but giving them a blind pass of sort, just because I didn’t have what they did, meaning, I would forgo my own self-Respect bow down to the Respect I gave to them, therefore, I commit myself to first off having self-Respect for me, while Respecting all as life as me.

Righteous

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that I was so Righteous, that no one could tell me anything about what I knew, being that all I knew, blinded me from seeing the truth and misdirection that what I knew was a lie to keep me brainwashed and subservient to the hierarchal structured belief system I grew up in. Therefore, I commit myself to dropping the Righteous act that has in fact corrupted my Being, courtesy of the mind, no longer accepting and allowing myself to mine me, as in burying my beingness deeper into my mind, surrounded by my flesh, but instead to break out of this soft shell/veil of Righteousness that’s the Right amount of tediousness to keep me entangle in the web of Lies I grew up to believe in, to see what hell is really about, so that I’m able to stop and correct the hell that exist within and as me, as one hell of a way to Change this world.

Religion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I got of age enough to comprehending things for myself, still accepted and allowed myself to Rely on Religion, as a backdrop for if all else failed in my life, to go back to it, without realizing the failure started from being in religion in the first place, until hearing the Design of Religion and Realizing why it was placed, and for what Reason I allowed myself to be aligned with it, did I see it as something Negative and everyone else who still was in it and blamed them for what I’ve been through, instead of seeing it as an investigation to all things and keeping that which is good, therefore I commit myself to Rely on my Self, trusting me to walk through the points that has come while walking this point of Religion

Re-Lie-On

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 14 Aug 2017, 21:30

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... self-sees/

Day 619: “S” for What “Self” “Sees”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

“Sitting” in this “Sanctuary” in which I call home, “Surrounded” by these walls that “Seems” to close in whenever I’m in my mind and forget to Breathe out in “Space”, as the time “Slowly” “Slips” by, I find my-‘Self” dozing off, then wake up like holy “Shit” what was that, “Stating” I’m “Sorry” to my body for “Shutting” down, in the moment that it was “Showing” me the face of Procrastination I often times participate in, as the first “Sin” of Rebellion, but unable to “See” it because my mind is (Let’s “Say”) elsewhere and not Here.

Being that I was “Stuck” in a moment of wanting to be “Saved” that I’ve engrained within me, as the first “Step” of Religion, the belief that one needs to be “Saved”, but from what though, was my question, while holding open a back door just in case I couldn’t “Save” myself., then realized ‘Hey wait a minute “STOP”, this is not who you are, but only after the fact of a wasted moment, I mean this is what “Self” “Sees” that I fail to take responsibility for.

“Short” “Shirts” and mini “Skirt” busting at the “Seams” that “Screams” the “Statement” look at me, I’m ready for “Sex”, that preys on the imagination of the innocent, driven by movie “Scenes” at the Cinema, that will eventually turn predator because the prey has become “Selective”, as to who they’re dressing up for, that “Society” deems to be an acceptable as a way to find a mate, but wait what happen to comfortability as a Theme, that’s now only remnants of a dreams when living in the 50’s, I mean where did we all go wrong. Was it at the point of “Searching” for “Salvation” to “Save” our “Soul” in order to live a Positive Life, while in the meantime manifesting “Satan” to take the blame for the thoughts in our “Secret” Minds, that we Perpetuate at Night times or when nobody’s looking, “So” we think, but it’s written all over our face, when trying to “Save” Face in front of others - that who we are is what we “See” in fact, and think the “Same” thing. This is what “Self” “Sees” that I/We haven’t taken Responsibility for.


Positive

Being born in “Sin” and “Shaped” in Iniquity, without realizing what the word even means, lol, is one step away from asking for a “Savior” to “Save” me or at least explain this word to me, that I have “Seen”/used the word “Savior” in a Positive connotation in there of it, which takes me back to the “Sanctuary” I call home, “Stuck” in a moment of wanting to be “Saved”, and thus have defined being “Saved” as a Positive thing. 

Negative

- Without “Seeing” the Negative that I was manifesting within the words,” Satan” made me do it’, that’s the easiest “Scapegoat” Religion has, while claiming that in the name of Jesus, “Strike” him down, because he made me Negative, I mean how In- “Sane” is that, and if you’re reacting to this, then you’re Negative, and “Satan” didn’t make you do it.


Sounding of the Words

Self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Self in a mild sense of me being connected to my Mind, thinking/believing/perceiving the Mind to be who I am and so Self, instead of Seeing/Realizing/Understanding it to be that humble aspect of Me as Life, Patiently waiting for me to stand up and become equal to and one with it, that has been there as a support system throughout my tenure of being trapped in my mind, until the time comes that I Amalgamate to my body, as the Flesh, as Self as Life. Therefore, I hereby commit myself to redefining Self to; that which is in me that assist me to seeing/realizing/understand my ability of utmost Potential as it, as the Flesh, as all, as Life, to no longer accept and allow myself to disregard Self in any way whatsoever, but I fact to stand Equal to and One with it.

Flesh

Sorry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Sorry and/or I’m Sorry as a Hindsight seeing then realizing, what I did purposefully has taken a toll on myself and/or others, instead of weighing out my Actions beforehand, to see the consequences I may cause to myself and/or another person, therefore I commit myself to becoming more aware of the thoughts that comes up in my mind, that would lead me into an Action, and end up saying I’m Sorry for, that I will get to a place within me of Standing as the point of Stability within my Words/Ways/Deeds and Actions.

Showing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word Showing in a Sense of pride, and being proud of a material possession and/or what I could do, instead of as an assistive tool from myself, showing me my inherent Human Nature, so that I’m able to See, Correct and Change me to doing that which is best for all, as a Showing to the world that it’s possible for one to Change. So, I commit myself to inverting my Showing from them to Me, accepting, then investigating what it is that I now See How to change within me.

See-How

See

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have said I See as an interim for a conversation or interaction with someone to continue, without really Seeing and/or remembering what was being said or discussed, but as a blind courtesy in making it seem as if I was on the same page as them, instead of admitting to what I really can see (within a point) and asking question when I don’t, see it/get it. Therefore, I commit myself to saying what I can See clearly, and asking question about what I’m not Seeing as clear.

Sex [Refer Here]

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
Posts: 701
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 16 Aug 2017, 22:16

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... day-620-t/

Day 620: “T”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

“The” “Truth” about lies is “That” “There” is none, especially when you’re “Talking” “To” yourself, and “Thinking” “That” “The voices in your head it’s God “Talking” back “To” you, “Telling” you all the good “Things” “That” you wanna hear, while claiming “That” it’s not your fault when “The” next picture “That” comes up in your mind, closely resemble “The” “Thought” you just had about, what if someone hit the person crossing the street in front of you, at an intersections red light.

We’ve made “Truths” and Lies compatible, by calling “Things” and honest Lie or a white Lie, feeding each other partial “Truths”, because, “The” real “Truth” as it stand, we choose not “To” comprehend, “Therefore” it doesn’t resonate with us for the “Time” being, being “That” our “Time” (outside of work) is for self-interested purposes only, “Thinking” “That” our main purpose in life is “To” be Happy, without realizing happiness as we have defined it, is a Lie as well, far from “The” Truth, so in essence “The” “Truth” we “Tell” ourselves is in fact a Lie. I mean how can you really “Trust” someone that says; ‘But I’m “Tell” you “The” “Truth” “Though”, “Though” as in despite all “That” being said, I’m sticking “To” my opinion anyway and nobody can tell me different.

“This “makes “Trust” superficial, saying that I “Trust” you “To” a partner or someone you just met,” That” does “Things” for you for “The” moment, in order to receive something in the next, but when in the next moment they switch up, the “Trust” is gone, just as quickly as it came, why is this? Is it because I “Trusted” in a look or a Feeling, “Telling” me” That” “They” can definitely be “Trusted”, I mean look at them, their just so harmless and cute, “Then” realize, looks Are deceiving and you should have, “Trusted” your Self “That” “Told” you to look out, not at “Them”. We “Then” go down “This” long sad road stating “That”, you broke my “Trust” in you, blaming “Them” for not responding “To” us, “The” way we wanted “Them” “To”, and/or expected “Them” “To”. So, in all Self-Trust is key, but how is this achieved, by being Self-Honest with yourself, where in “The moment you have this Attraction feeling for/towards someone in your world, check your starting point for feeling “This” way, and if “This” feeling houses any desires, keep it stepping.


Positive

Just “Tell” me “The “Truth” was always my moto, and so used “The word in a Positive sense of it, being that I was always “Told” “That” the “Truth” will set you free, and so I “Thrived” for it, until I found it and realized “That” “The” “Truth” will only help you “To” see, and I have “To” free myself, I mean I even gave myself “The” name of “Truthbornn” which only “Turned” into another Positive Character I perpetuated, while living a Negative life

Negative

It’s funny how we derived “Temper” from “Temperature”, having a hot head, where I’ve seen this as Negative, being “That” someone was always mad about a undirected point, but couldn’t see it, (in hindsight) and so when pointed out “To” “Them” “They” would get more mad, which I allowed to bring my mood down, “Then” into my own “Temper”/ “Temperature”, of being a hot head, and reacting to their reactions.


Sounding of the Words

Truth [as in Trust You Through and Through]

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined the word Truth in the sense of, that in which will set you free, that all I had to do was to know it and I would be free, and so saw this as a Positive thing, because that to me was easy enough to do, without realizing That the Truth will only help me to see and that I have to set myself free, freedom in the sense of Trusting me Through and Through, therefore I hereby redefine Truth to; “That which helps you to see” to be able to investigate and go down the road to correction.

Talking

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used Talking selectively, fearing that I would be told that I talked too much, being that when I had a voice to say something, growing up I was shut down and told that I didn’t know nothing therefore, I picked and chose who to talk to, instead of being selective with the words I spoke, which would have opened me up to sharing myself more. I commit myself to opening up and sharing myself more through talking/having conversations with others to get out of this introversion, I have so buried myself within, to become the Tall king of the words that I speak.

Tall-King

Telling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used Telling in the sense of a demand for someone to listen, stating; ‘I’m Telling You Though”, without really listening to what I was being Told by anyone and if that someone wouldn’t listen, (in my younger years), I would Tell on them. So, I commit myself to inverting my Telling to listening to what I’m being told by my body, first and foremost, then others in my world and reality, that would assist me to seeing what I’m facing, that they’ve walked through, and corrected themselves already.

Things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted Things, needed Things, desired Things to be of my liking, then have cherished the things I have to the point of hoarding my material possession, paying more attention to them than my well-being, instead of seeing/realizing, I was letting these things control me, therefore I commit myself to no longer taking things Personally, but to put things into perspective, starting with a structured life worth living, that which is best for all.

The-In-Goods

Thought [Refer Here ]

Therefore [ As in the-reference-for]

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word Therefore as a point of hence, before adding on to a point that I’m looking to receive validation on, from others, because what was being said wasn’t substantial enough to get across to the receiver, Therefore, clarity is needs as correction, so I commit myself to using the word Therefore in the sense of, and as a point of correction, statin, Therefore, I commit, or Therefore I forgive.

Time [Refer Here ]

Trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thrown the word Trust around like it was candy, with the perceived gullibility that I would get something out of what I gave, which was never the case, being that my starting point for Trusting someone was always based in self-interest, instead of realizing how, I lacked the point of self-Trust and thus looked for it in giving it to others, which would always end up not working, Therefore I commit myself to living Self-Trust for myself, before even thinking about Trusting others, and in this way, I know what I will and will not accept and allow within myself and that form others.

True-Us

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
Posts: 701
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 18 Aug 2017, 21:25

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... -as-in-un/ ‎‎

Day 621: “U” as in “Un”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

“Un” as the “Undoing” of stability in most cases, words and phrases, where some though would remain “Unchanged”, Unwavering, in a moment of self-interest, as a resolve, instead of compromising when compromise is needed, to level an “Unbalanced” scale of events from turning sour really quick.

When the “Unexpected” occur, why is it so hard to “Understand” that shit happens, due to our “Unawareness” of the circumstances we “Unconditionally” place ourselves in, but “Undoubtedly” and in fact know how these chain of events came about, but in the moment, we go into a state of shock, claiming that we’re being “Unfairly” treated, why me, when it’s “Us” who thought we had things “Under” control, while taking a chance going down the wrong road that’s less travelled, meaning doing the “Unaccepted” in a society that expects you to blindly follow suit or get punished just for trying to survive.

We know “Unequivocally “that this is wrong, but believe that we’re “Uncapable” of doing anything about it, but the point is, how we become “Unstable” when stability is needed in these cases, where the “Unexpected” will happen, with “Underlying’ points of change looming in the background, that could possibly happen if we’re “Uncertain” as to which steps to take when such things presents themselves, where instead of feeling as if you’re “Under”- Pressure, breathe it through, which stops any “Under”-Tones of “Unwanted” reactions from coming “Up”, placing ourselves in a position of Clarity to “Undo” the mess we’ve made.

We have become slaves to the mind as the “Universe” we constantly participate in, with internal conversations/Backchat and so on, instead of “U”-And-I-Versing, having conversation with each other, that would add to the substantiality of our Beingness, which creates the awareness of the “Universe” within “Us”, that we are, that’s always been there, waiting for us to discover ourselves, I mean if you would have told me that I was a “Universe” a few years ago, I would have thought that I was special and better than others, then would have asked you how do you mean, just to hear the explanation you came “Up” with, because I was a praise seeker, but in all I have defined the “Universe” as that special place, in separation from me, that only Astronauts was able to go to and explore, while the dream of it was alive in my mind, “Under” the subtitle ‘What If’, instead of realizing that I am in fact the ‘If’ that I asked the ‘What’ questions about.

Positive

When I first learned the word “Unwavering” the first image that came up was me standing on a rock, body constricted, with no one able to knock me off, which is fine and dandy, but I saw it as a tough physical thing and so “Used” it in a Positive sense of it, instead of seeing it as a point of stability in the midst of anything conflictual or not.

Negative

Being that I always felt that I put my all in things, whenever I was told something was “Unacceptable, I would become frustrated and angry at the person telling me this, then blame them for not explaining things more clearly to me, because now I have to do it all over and it’s your fault, and how could you do this to me, therefore any mention of this word was met with a Negative response, and so saw this word as a Negative, instead of realizing the perspective of, what I will and Will Not accept, as things being “Unacceptable”.


Sounding of the Words

Unwavering

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined Unwavering in the sense of physical toughness, as positive, instead of a point of stability in the midst of anything conflictual or not, therefore I Hereby redefine Unwavering to that of being the point of stability within myself, to let nothing move me into a reaction in any way whatsoever, but to remain consistent with walking my process to the resolve of changing me and this world to a place that is, what’s best for all Life, instead of living under the wave of things.

Under-Wave-Of-Things

Unexpected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dumbfounded whenever the Unexpected has happened in my life, claiming, why me, instead of seeing shit happens, by my own Self Positioning Placement, and the chain of events I created leading up to the Unexpected happening, which undoubtedly could have been avoided, if I would have taken the time to focus more on every little thing I do, to stop the chain of reactions that would follow from turning sour. Therefore, I commit myself to becoming more aware of my participation in the things I do, that would make the Unexpected seen beforehand whenever my participation is evident.

Understand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the point of boredom as resistance, said that I Understand something, in order for the person asking the question to finish, so that I could get to or back to my self-interested desires, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my self-interested desires seem more important to me than the total comprehension of a point of change directed to me as assistance, by someone, instead of Unequivocally Listening to what’s being said with the attentiveness of a predator spotting its prey., and so I commit myself to only saying I understand when I have attentively listen, and to ask more questions if I don’t quite follow.

Universe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined the Universe as that special place in separation from myself that only Astronauts are able to go and explore, instead of seeing, realizing that if I were to become more intimate with myself, in investigating my ins and outs thoroughly, I would realize that I am a Universe in fact, but instead I have chosen to be a slave to my mind, as the Universe I live/participate in, therefore I hereby redefine Universe to that I which I do with someone, as in U and I converse, sharing our realizations with one another, out of the minds reach, to inevitably discover the Universe within me, and live as directive principle in fact, in Oneness and Equality

U-And-I-Verse

Thank you for Reading.



User avatar
Carlton
Posts: 701
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 21 Aug 2017, 17:40

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... day-622-v/

Day 622: “V”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

The “Viciousness” of our human behavior houses no “Value” when the words we use are the taking of another’s name in “Vain”, putting their heads , unaware that it’s our heads on the chopping block, thinking that it’ll never get back to them, but in fact it “Vehemently” will, which screams “Vulnerability”, that I’m “Vulnerable” to the exposure of my minds Idealistic way of thinking that we try and “Vail” through the gossiping about another, without even getting to know them for who they are, but through comparison have placed ourselves in a position of superiority, which superseded all cognitive reasoning from ever coming into “Volition” in the moment and now find ourselves on a “Vertical” climb, back to where we was before we even opened our big mouth.

It’s fascinating how we tend to sabotage ourselves even more in the moment of weakness that we misconstrue into being a moment of “Vengeance” due to our hidden envy, jealousy or just plain spitefulness, I mean what are we going to do now the cats out of the bag per se, I mean who like making a mess and having to clean up after themselves, time and time again, especially when your Self is just learning ow to self-forgive, but not limited to investigating what caused one to go into this delusion of grandeur in the first place.

Thing is, we end up passing this gossiping spell (gospel) along “Vicariously” onto our children, that has been spread throughout out family tree (for generations), that will eventually wither and die, (if it hadn’t already for some) if we keep up this act, simply because the roots couldn’t find a way to get along, so but instead housed a “Vendetta” towards one another, by talking about each other as if they weren’t even family, and you didn’t just see me standing next to you, waiting with a helping hand if support is needed, because at times I would need it as well.

But one must understand that this is a system design that’s been preprogrammed within and as us, but the responsibility still falls on us to be careful as to what we think and say about others, due to our negligence of the prominent points we don’t want to face or even look at, but would rather create an environment of discontent and separation between us and our fellow Selves.

But it’s not the end of the world yet, lol, we still have the ability to correct ourselves, and all there is left, is to go and do it, without considering yourself “Victorious” after walking through this point, because everything would then be in “Vain”, but instead to make corrections where corrections is needed and keep it stepping. And that’s all I got to say about that.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 22 Aug 2017, 18:49

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... w-or-what/

Day 623: “W” or “What”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

Is it “Worth” it to say “What” “When” you already know “What’s being asked of you, as if you couldn’t believe you’re ears, then say, but I didn’t hear you, to cover up the fact that you did in fact hear them the first time, but acted deaf, being that it “Was” something that you really don’t “Want” to hear, coming from a person “Who” challenges you at every turn, that doesn’t always suit your self-interest, so “We” say “What”, as in “What” do you “Want” this time, perpetuating a character as if it really hurt you to respond.

Then you have the phrase, “What’s” up’, “Which” houses a point of fear in a “Way”, “When” someone acknowledges you “With” a phone call or the calling of your name, “We” assumptively claim (as these “Words” are sort of a bracing for impact) believe, they’re going to ask me for something or say something that’ll turn me off, so instead of responding to the acknowledgement with a, ‘Hey, Hello or Hi’, “We” complicate the matter even more by saying “What” up, I mean in the end “Who” knows the importance of “What” the person doing the acknowledging “Was” going to say, it could have been something personal, (as I have experienced) that they “Wanted” to say, maybe get perspective on, but because “We” responded cockily ‘With” “What” up, it change the whole dynamics of things, “Where” the person looking, ends up changing their tone by saying,; “Well” I was just call to see how you’re doing, and don’t say “What” they really called for.

Then you/“We” have “What” as in “Why”, insinuating, “Why” did/is this happening to me W.T.F. man, but never tracing back our steps to see “Where” it all “Went” “Wrong”, “Where” “We”, slipped up along the lines “We” “Were” following, “Which” “Would” turn the “What” into an ‘Oh ok, I see’, stopping this line of questioning ourselves and/or others as a Defense, Protection Mechanism, a coated Veil of sort w try and cover ourselves With.

But “Who” are “We” really protecting ourselves from, and “Why”, being that everything around me is myself, that being say, I’ve come to realize, that this Defense, Protection Mechanism is not protecting us as “We” “Would believe, it is for the Mind, protecting our Mind through our reactions, to continue snacking on our Flesh, our Human Physical Body, I mean that’s crazy, it’s like the Mind being 1000 mosquitos sucking the Life right out of us, and all “We” can say is “WHAT”, “What’s happening, but by the time “We” get to that point it’s too late, “We” have one foot in the grave and the other one on a banana peel, hoping that the Jesus “We” believed in, is there to guide us through the great divide, but “When” it doesn’t happen, all “We” do say is “WHAT”.

Positive

Growing up, I had grown into living for “Worship”, that if I “Were” to “Worship” and praise God, I “Would” be saved and so saw this as a Positive thing, in the sense of attainment, attaining all the things I so longed for, but only after this Life, such a catch 22.

[Side note] The reason I have spoken upon Religion quite a few times throughout this series, is because for the first 18 + years of my life, that’s all I knew and so created plenty of Characters within and around it, in “Which” I still have come up “Within and as me, at time to date, therefore my mention is but the embracing of what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and exist as throughout my life, and so, by laying it out in front of me (through “Writing”), makes it easier for me to see and correct’.

Negative

Of course, any form of “War” I see and have defined as something Negative, being a “Word” that I have externalize, away from/outside of myself, stating ‘that’s bad, but leaving the rest of the “World” at “War” to their own vices, just as long as it doesn’t affect me in my environment, without realizing, that all “War” stems from each individuals Mind, including Mine, therefore correction is needed.


Sound of the Words

Who

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the Word Who, in relation to asking the question about someone else, instead of realizing the Who I am in the matter, Who I have become and Who I really am as life, in which I Would see/realize/understand the corrections needed in my life, to reach my utmost potential in doing that which is best for all life, Therefore I commit myself to focusing the Who on me in my Life and not on What other have done in their lives.

What

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the Word What as a Defense Mechanism towards someone after an acknowledgement from them, with an assumptive perception that they Would say something that I didn’t like and/or ask me for something, thinking that this Word What Would shield my ears from accepting What I Was about to here, and in some case missed the opportunity to be of assistance to someone Who needed it or just needed to talk, by shutting them down, responding With the Word What instead of Hey, Hello or Hi When called upon, therefore I commit myself to no longer using this Word in the above context, but instead in the context of What is it that I don’t Want to see/face, What have I done in my Life to change the Way I am, and What Will I do from this point on to correct me.

When

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the Word When, as a hopeful form of procrastinating, that When asked Would keep me in a state of self-interest for a little While longer, instead of the immediacy of Now. I commit myself to using the Word When in the context of being someplace When asked to do something, without any expectations of an extra lingering moment of self-interest

Where

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the Word Where, as an expected placement outside of myself, instead of seeing my Will-Here, Where, where is always Here, unless given an unfamiliar location one should go to, and so I commit myself to using and redefining Where to be used in the context, (as Well) of being HERE in every moment of breath. So, the question asked; Where With response being HERE.

We-Here

Will-Here

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 24 Aug 2017, 22:19

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nd-things/

Day 624: “X” and Things

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”
“X” in relations to a cross or being “X’’ed out of the picture, “Excommunicated” from the group, as if I hated you and don’t want to talk to you any longer, and better not nobody else talk to them either, so they can learn a lesson, to never go against the group, I mean get out of here, because your Ideas stand out like a turd in a punch bowl, without realizing the form of control and Enslavement being perpetuated here, because the Power is too blinding to see how one is placing oneself in a box of judgement, limitation, isolation and self-diminishment, unless the group stand for Oneness and Equality and that which is best for all life, being that of fact lived, but not taken to heart (per se) and so one has their own process to walk.

In relationships after the break up, why is it that we always talk about our “X” as if we’ve learnt our lesson through blaming them though, stating, I’m not going to be with that type of person anymore, I’ve changed my ways, and need more stimulation, then find yourself stuck right back in the same position, looking for more, because your New, now “X”, “X”, couldn’t do it for you either.

I mean if you really look at the letter “X”, that has been conjunct into a word, that we have defined as the throw away/dismission of a perceive part of ourselves that doesn’t fit or belong in our world, you could really see the extensive separation we exist as, here on this planet we’ve planned, but slowly “X”ing ourselves off of it.

Then you have the most sawt after, but un-talked about ability of “X-ray” vision that one does has, but unaware that they do, consisting of pictured images we’ve seen throughout our lives that’s processed in the machine of our Mind, to fit any occasion/situation when looking at another person that is appealing to you, after scanning then up and down, collecting image samples to be used later on when being intimate with someone else, I mean that’s probably why, we have “X’s” now, because we’re constantly “X-ing” our partner out of the picture when we’re together with them, thinking about the other person we used our “X-ray” vision on, but made up the “Excuse” that it was something in my eye, I wasn’t just looking at Him or Her, lol.

So, as a touchy subject for all those who use their “X-ray” vision on billboards, posters, magazines and people on the street, spitefully thinking that you’re hiding this self-defining ability to see through others clothing, the Gig is up, we all know “Exactly” what you’re doing when passing someone and your eyes take a 90 degree drop in a split second, as a punchline below the belt and into the mind of the other being, sending signals of imaginative proportion, hoping that no one saw what you just did, you need not worry, we all have done or still do the same thing, that needs to change, but we won’t claim it, and scream bloody murder when someone we know gets abused, instead of taking responsibility for the abuse we just perpetuated onto/towards someone else through the use of our “X-ray” vision. Where correction is needed, which goes a little something like;

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word ”X”/”EX” in a way of disregarding parts/pieces/people as myself, that is myself, that I believe didn’t fit with me, in my world and reality and have become an “X”/”EX” to someone in the process of doing so, unaware that I was cutting myself of from seeing everything and everyone as me, instead of taking myself off the cross and communicating with others, my resolve, before “Exclusion”, as this is an overview through generalization of how I have used the letter/word “X”/”EX”.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 26 Aug 2017, 21:34

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... day-625-y/

Day 625: “Y”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”.

If “You” took the letter “Y” as a question, it would be as if every word ending with the letter “Y”, states the definition of the word then the “Y”, asking the question why this or that, which is a different way of looking at the words we speak ending the letter “Y”, where one would then ask self the question, “Why did I just use and/or say this/that word”. Take the word conspiracy for instance, being that the definition is pretty much self-explanatory, but then the “Y” comes in, asking the question, why am I conspiring, opening up the door for, who, what, when and where, which is a way to open up and investigate our participation within the words itself, so in essence, “Why am I even speaking these words” and using them in the contexts in which I do?

“Yep” the short version of agreeance to a prominent question asked and/or a side taking of sorts, claiming, “Yep” I believe “You” and will continue following along out of some form of fear, the fear that if I don’t, “You’ll” turn against me, and this is what is called a “Yes” man, seconding the Ideal, perceptions and beliefs of others, out of self-interest, only interested in the way I’m being treated and/or what I’ll get out of it in the long run, while running away from standing on my own two feet and stating my claim, being self-honest about what I hear and really don’t agree with, so “Yep” I’ve been down that road before into a point of not standing up and voicing myself, but letting the obvious slip by, which would eventually turn into gullibility.

“Yearning”, a longing, as in a desire for something or someone, especially within the design of relationships, where I felt as if I needed someone to complete me, always wanting someone next to me, with a hidden underlying starting point of having someone that would, second everything I did and would do to them (without and physical violence or abuse), out of my own self-interest, being that my interest was lopsided , doing things within that relationship that I wouldn’t accept being done by them, (such as smoking weed for example) with the excuse that I do enough bad for the both of us, so you shouldn’t do what I do, but what I say, which inevitably was the downfall of the majority of relationships I was in, and had to learn the hard way, that my “Yearning” for, was not for the completion of myself, but for someone who would let me control them, in a way, and me letting them control me in a way, instead of having the desire to investigate Self to see what this “Yearning” for things, was really all about, in order to Stop it and correct myself, for within the context I used it.


Positive

“Yawning” has always been an indication of belief that I was tired I thought to be a natural function of my body, and so a Positive thing, but never really investigating why when I knew I wasn’t tired did I “Yawn”, with no awareness that it was an indication that my Mind Consciousness System wanted to shut down, being that it was programmed to not hear things that would assist and support me to be Here in reality, in every moment of breath, so at the moment of “Yawning” is when I supposed to hear/see or realize something that my mind doesn’t want me to hear/see or realize, and should go back, ask/look and/or breathe to realize what it was that I let slip by during the moment I “Yawned”. And have also used” Yawning”, as a purposeful point of manipulation, when not wanting to hear what someone has to say., and saw this veiling mechanism also as something Positive that I would use from time to time.

Negative

It’s interesting how when “You’re” “Young”, “You” want to be old, but when “You’re” old “You” want to be” Young” again, where I have found myself trapped within this conundrum, whenever someone would call me “Young” because I wasn’t old enough to do certain things that the older kids could do and go places they could, and thus saw this word as a Negative, that is until I became older, that I switched my tone.


Sounding of the words

Y

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and use the letter Y as a question to the words I use that ends with the letter Y, (and/or any word for that matter) asking myself, why/how am I going to use this word, that would have placed a guard of awareness over my mouth, to see the words I speak, and in which context I would use them, before I use them, then what would come out of my mouth, would make common sense, instead of senseless speaking, therefore I commit myself to watching the words that I speak, by questioning why would I, and how am I going to use this word, before I speak it.

Why

You

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the word You, as a point of blame, claiming that, You did this to me, and I saw what You did, always You, You, and you, instead of accepting my role in the matter and taking responsibility for being partly, as fault as well, then coming up with a solution that would be best for You and I, that would stop all conflict in its tracks. Therefore, I hereby redefine the word You as a point of self-placement within the matter, that I am blaming You for, and so commit myself to taking responsibility for all matters I participate in, situations I get myself into, as the You I am speaking about.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
Posts: 701
Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 28 Aug 2017, 21:02

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... day-626-z/

Day 626: “Z”

This “Process” that I’m walking with words is to “Purify” my vocabulary, by taking a few of the most “Prolific” words that I use, describe how I have used them, and correcting if needed the context in which I use them, by going through the Alphabet from “A” to “Z”

As in the sounding of the letter “Z” within the words I use, being that there are few to none words that I use that starts with the letter “Z”. so, hear then my rant and rave, that to “Realize” the “Lies” that I see with my “Eyes” that “Surprises” me, “Was” like a “Compromise” to my insanity, that I thought “Was” who I am, that quickly diminished once I saw myself in “Disguise” within the “Characters” that I would perpetuate. I mean “It’s” “Mesmerizing” to see how one reacts to things in “One’s” world, when looking at oneself from an “Outsiders” perspective.

They say the “I’s” have it, but only if the “I’s” have agreed upon that which is best for all life, would that statement be valid, anything else would be, “Uncivilized” like the way we live now, despite the fact that we really “Despise” one another, and have “Devised” ways of accepting when a person is “Criticized” for doing what’s right that should be common sense, because there’s no sense in giving it to the “I’s”, just because the majority “Says” so, ‘when the majority of the “I’s” don’t want to know and don’t know who we really are as all as each other, and would rather catch some ZZZZ;s instead of investigating why is it that we’re not defined by sleep. So, when the “I’s” have it we’re asleep at the wheel.

Some say that I’m “Crazy” because I’m no longer “lazy” and chose to remain stable when in the moment of a conflictual situation, where situations no longer dictate how I react, in fact my emotional “Cries” have turned into a “Rise” from taking myself out the gutter to living a more substantial Life, so the point of being “Crazy” is the unwillingness to “Gaze” within oneself, passed that “Haze” of “One’s”, mind into the depths of “One’s beingness to see the inherent nature of what we have become, that “Needs” to be corrected within ourselves first. in order to straighten out this reality in which we call home, so if “Crazy” is the dare to be different than what I’ve defined myself as, within the “Characterization” of me, into the becoming of who I really am as life, then I’ll be that.

They also say that “Sticks” and “Stones” may break my “Bones” but “Words” will never hurt, but I say “Sticks” and “Stones” come from the same substance as my “Bones” and the “Words” we speak “Needs” to be redefined, in order to stop creating that which can hurt us, by the “Words” we speak, unaware of the power of manifestation through “Words”, then back into another failed creation and using “Sticks” and “Stones” to hurt one another, as the cycle of suppression, fear and abuse “Continues”, but it’s in you/me to stop living this fairytale, nursery rhyme life, as life has always been Here waiting for us to “Realize” and live it. so Here I stand as the “Letters” I use within the “Words” I speak, one step closer to completely Redefining me into becoming to be, who I really am as Life.

Investigate Desteni.org

Thanks for reading.




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