Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 26 Apr 2014, 20:09

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... drives-me/

Day 30: What Drives Me?

I have been driven by many different things over the years, but all of those things have been self-interest, reward, or fear based. For instant taking religion and going to church. I was driven by fear. The fear of, if I didn’t go to church and become saved something bad would happen to me. What’s strange about that whole situation is, my grandmother once wrote a song and the lyrics were; “Everybody want to go to heaven, but don’t nobody want to die”. My question then became if heaven was as beautiful and peaceful as depicted, why is it that no one wants to die and go? That drive faded when I left home. Then came the drive to survive, which also was fear based and changed after I seen how hard it was to stay afloat, maintain a job and live life, to finding the easiest way to survive. Still it wasn’t for the “greater good” per se. It was self-interest based. What didn’t make sense to me was, how could I possibly have a job, work all my life why’ll in the process get married have a family, take scheduled breaks/holidays and enjoy it. I’ve seen that growing up and it wasn’t something that I saw myself doing.

What drives me? I am driven by the fact that I don’t know who I am and the want to learn who I am, what I have become and how to correct myself to become who I am as life. For the first time in my life I am taking responsibility for myself and it isn’t easy. I know that it’s a process, so I maintain my drive and push through whatever comes up to become who I am as life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by many things over the years, all being self-interest, reward or fear based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by fear. The fear of, if I didn’t go to church and become saved something bad would happen to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a drive to survive, which also was fear based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have to resort to finding the easiest way to survive, because I didn’t want to follow what I saw as “living life” as I was growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a drive of taking the easy route.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know who I am, what I have become and how to correct myself until now.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life take responsibility for myself, but instead I continued to make things harder on myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand the by having a self-interest, reward or fear based drive, I am accepting and allowing myself to continue creating myself into what I have become, making it harder to become who I am as life.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself having a self-interest, reward or fear based drive, I stop and breathe. I realized that by having a self-interest, reward or fear based drive, I am accepting and allowing myself to continue creating myself into what I have become, making it harder to become who I am as life.

I commit myself to no longer having a self-interest, reward or fear based drive, but instead I will continue to base my drive on learning who I am, what I have become and how to correct myself and become who I am as life.

I commit myself to no longer resort to finding the easiest way to survive, but instead I will maintain my drive to finding out how to live life.

I commit myself to maintaining the drive to learn who I am, what I have become and how to correct myself.

I commit myself to taking responsibility for myself and no longer making things harder on myself.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 29 Apr 2014, 00:03

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... -31-flaws/

Day 31: Flaws

In my relationships, I have a tendency to point out others flaws, telling them what they need to do in their lives instead of taking responsibility for myself. That’s how I would separate myself from them and leave a backdoor open to opt out. Meaning, I use their flaws against them as justification for me to end a relationship, leave or win an argument. Each time my relationship was failing, I would blame it on the other person and try to control the situations as they came up by, pointing out their flaws and tell them what they shouldn’t or should have done, which was me taking myself out of the equation as being part of the problem; not realizing that I was at least 50% of the problem every time. So within this,


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in relationships have a tendency to point out others flaws, telling them what they need to do in their lives instead of taking responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from others and leave a backdoor open to opt out. Meaning, I use their flaws against them as justification for me to end a relationship, leave or win an argument.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use others flaws against them as justification for me to end a relationship, leave or win an argument.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my failing relationships on others trying to control the situations as they came up by pointing out their flaws and telling them what they shouldn’t or should have done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point out others flaws and telling them what they shouldn’t or should have done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself out of the equation as being part of the problem.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by having a tendency to point out others flaws I am hiding from facing my own flaws.



I commit myself to when and as I see myself in relationships have a tendency to point out others flaws, telling them what they need to do in their lives instead of taking responsibility for myself, I stop and breathe. I realize that by having a tendency to point out others flaws I am hiding from facing my own flaws.

I commit myself to facing and taking responsibility for my own flaws.

I commit myself to no longer separate myself from others and leave a backdoor open to opt out. Meaning, I will no longer use others flaws against them as my justification to end a relationship, leave or win an argument, but instead I will take responsibility for myself by correcting my starting point of separation which is a cause of my failing relationships.

I commit myself to no longer placing the blame on other for my failing relationship and trying to control any situation that comes up, but instead I will have a look at my participation in creating the problems in my failing relationship and correct myself.

I commit myself to no longer tell others what they shouldn’t or should have done, but instead I will check and correct myself so that I may not place myself I the same position again.

I commit myself to no longer take myself out of the equation as being part of the problem, but instead I will face the problem and correct myself so that I am able to get to and effective solution.

I commit myself to no longer hide from facing my own flaws.

I realize by facing my own flaws I am standing up and taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed in my world and reality and thus changing them to what is best for all life.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 30 Apr 2014, 23:39

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... re-it-out/

Day 32: Figure It Out

Why do I get frustrated when I can’t figure things out? This is a question that I ask myself. It is because I am not accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down, stop my mind and pay attention to what I am doing. As far back as I can remember I have followed the pattern of wanting to hurry up and finish things. When I couldn’t figure it out, I get frustrated and give up if it didn’t have to do with things like school work. Sometimes I would go into self-pity or self- victimization telling myself thing like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me. Back then I didn’t know about the mind, how it operates and using breath in every moment to slow myself down, although I was told sometimes to stop and breathe, but immediately after the breath, I would continue to hurry. We was brainwashed into believing “a mind is a terrible thing to waste”. It was posted around the school, on billboards and walls. I have conditioned myself to, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, I bypass it and move on. As a result I left a lot of things undone.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I can’t figure things out and get frustrated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated because I wanted to hurry up and finish things.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to slow myself down, stop my mind and pay attention to what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as far back as I can remember, follow the pattern of wanting to hurry up and finish things and when I couldn’t figure it out, I get frustrated and give up if it didn’t have to do with things like schoolwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-pity or self-victimization telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I couldn’t figure it out.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize my mind, how it operates and using breath in every moment to slow myself down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when told to stop and breathe, immediately after the breath, I would continue to hurry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be brainwashed into believing “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” whenever I saw it posted around the school, on billboards and walls.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, I bypass it and move on, leaving a lot of things undone.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand by thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I am limiting myself to just getting by, when it comes to comprehending things and solving problems in my life. And how I have accepted and allowed my mind to give me answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I stop and breathe. I realize that by thinking/perceiving/believing that I can’t figure things out, I am limiting myself to just getting by, when it comes to comprehending things and solving problems in my life. And how I have accepted and allowed my mind to give me answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to think/perceive/believe that I can’t figure things out, but instead I will slow myself down and pay attention to what I am doing and if I shall arrive at such point again, I will push through the resisting and wanting to hurry up and finish, so that I am able to comprehend the point at hand and or problem that I am faced with.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing my mind to come up with answers to the problems that I have created in my world and reality, but instead I will utilize breath in every moment when facing the problems so that I am able to direct myself to an effective solution.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to get frustrated when I can’t figure things out, but instead I will breathe and slow myself down, stopping my frustration in its path, so that I am able to figure things out effectively.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into self-pity or self-victimization telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I can’t figure things out, I stop and breathe. I realize that at that moment it is my mind and I have failed to use breath in every moment to slow myself down.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to go into self-pity or self-victimization and telling myself things like; I’m stupid and nobody care about me when I can’t figure things out, but instead I will tell myself to snap the fuck out of it, breathe, slow myself down and pay attention to what I am doing.

I commit myself to de-programing myself from believing that “a mind is a terrible thing to waste” and re-programing myself to expressing what is best for all life.

I commit myself to un-conditioning myself from, if something comes up that I can’t figure out, bypass it and move on, leaving a lot of things undone to, remaining stable here with breath in every moment and walking through each point that I thought I couldn’t figure out so that nothing gets left undone again.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 02 May 2014, 20:26

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... ng-myself/

Day 33: Limiting Myself

I have been one who has stayed within the limitations of what I thought I knew. Anyone that was against what I thought I knew was deemed as blind or lost. (That is until I found Desteni) I would go around playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity, chanting slogans like, “Put your hand in front of your face and imagine it being a mirror and when you look in it, you know what you see”, they would say “what”, then I would say; “You see me because I’m you”. I didn’t even know what it meant, but it sounded cool to me so I used it. It’s like being placed under a table and telling myself, if I go out something bad would happen. In my case I thought, if I didn’t play the neutral role and spread positive messages, I wouldn’t be accepted so I became that character. Another is doing thing a certain way, leaving no room for improvement. If someone came to me and showed me an easier/simpler way of doing it, I would make up and excuse to why I like doing things my way, like; “It gives me a workout” or “I like taking my time with it”, when in fact I just got use with the limitations that I’ve placed on myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay within limitations of what I thought I knew. Anyone that was against what I thought I knew was deemed as blind or lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem others as blind or lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go around playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity, chanting slogans like, “Put your hand in front of your face and imagine it being a mirror and when you look at it, you know what you see”, they would say “what”, then I would say; “You see me because I’m you”. Not knowing what that meant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this slogan because it sounded cool to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, if I didn’t play the neutral role and spread messages of positivity, I wouldn’t be accepted, so I became that character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that I have to be a character to be accepted by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things a certain way, leaving no room for improvement. If someone came to me and showed me an easier/simpler way of doing it, I would make up and excuse to why I like doing things my way, like; “It gives me a workout” or “I like taking my time with it”, when in fact I just got use to the limitations I’ve placed on myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by staying within limitations of what I thought I knew, I am accepting and allowing myself to entertain the thought of being accepted by others, which leaves me stuck in my mind, chasing after a good feeling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity, I am following my pre-programed design of defining myself with the belief that I am helping others, when in fact I am spreading contagion with the message of positivity.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself staying within limitations of what I thought I knew, I stop and breathe. I realize that by staying within limitations of what I thought I knew, I am accepting and allowing myself to entertain the thought of being accepted by others, which leaves me stuck in my mind chasing a good feeling.

I commit myself to no longer staying within the limitations of what I thought I knew, but instead I will investigate all things and keeping that which is best for all life and live by it.

I commit myself to no longer deem others as blind or lost, but instead to realize that I am blinding myself and staying lost by limiting myself to what I thought I knew. Therefore, I commit myself to bringing it back to self and investigating through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application why is it, I am allowing myself to limit myself.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity, I stop and breathe. I realize that by playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity I am following my pre-programed design of defining myself with the belief that I am helping others, when in fact I am spreading contagion with the message of positivity.

I commit myself to no longer playing the neutral role and spreading messages of positivity, but instead I will study/learn/apply the Desteni message so that I am able to assist and support others effectively.

I commit myself to no longer making up and using slogan thinking that its cool, but instead I will use common sense.

I commit myself to no longer thinking/perceiving/believing that I have to be a character to be accepted by others, but instead I will get to know myself, learn myself, correct myself and change myself to who I am as life and live the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to no longer doing things a certain way, leaving no room for improvement, but instead I will stop limiting myself and be open for improvement that will allow myself to do things easier and simpler.

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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Anna » 03 May 2014, 09:49

Very cool Carlton! Thanks for sharing.

Regarding the point of reacting to not being able to do something that you wrote about in your previous blog, this is something that I've also experienced extensively and I found that this interview from Eqafe was 'spot on' in explaining why and how that experience is created.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 03 May 2014, 16:29

Thank you Anna.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 05 May 2014, 20:35

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... 4-add-ons/

Day 34: Add On’s

We often add on (make up) things when in conversation with others, even when our point has already been taken in and agreed upon by the other person. We somehow think that we need to insinuate the point to make ourselves seem more than what we are. What we don’t realize is, once we start to insinuate the point, it makes it invalid. And the other person can see it. That’s when a moment of self-honesty becomes self-dishonest. When the conversation starts, we tell ourselves to keep it simple, then when we have their total attention, our ego sets in and sabotage what we’re saying. After we walk away we ask ourselves; “Why did I just do that”? Then comes the internal conversations that runs in our mind in justification to ourselves what have we done and why have we done it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add on (make up) things when in conversation with others, even when the point has already been taken in and agreed upon by the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to insinuate the point to make myself seem more than I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that insinuating the point makes it invalid. And the other person can see it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change a moment of self-honesty into a moment of self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego set in and sabotage what I am saying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after I walked away ask myself; ‘Why did I just do that”? Because after making the point I allowed myself to go into my mind letting my ego set in and sabotage the point I’ve made.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversations run through my mind in justification to myself; what I have done and why have I done it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by adding on (making up) thing when in conversation with others, even when the point has already been taken in and agreed upon, I am accepting and allowing my ego to set in and sabotage what I’m saying, which invalidate the point I have made.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself adding on (making up) things when in conversation with others, even when the point has already been taken in and agreed upon, I stop and breathe. I realize that by adding on (making up) things when in conversation with others, even when the point has already been taken in and agreed upon, I am accepting and allowing my ego to set in and sabotage what I'm saying, which invalidate the point.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my ego to set in and sabotage what I’m saying, but instead I will leave the point taken as is and not try and make myself seem more than I am.

I commit myself to no longer think that I need to insinuate the point to make myself seem more than I am, but instead I will keep it simple and stick to the point.

I commit myself to no longer invalidating the points that I make with insinuations, but instead I will stick to the facts of the point.

I commit myself to remaining self-honest when making a point and no longer deviating from the point..

I commit myself to no longer let my ego set in and sabotage what I am saying, but instead, as I am making the point, I use breath in every moment insuring myself to not go into my mind and open the door for my ego.

I commit myself to no longer giving myself a reason to ask myself; “Why did I just do that”? After I walk away, But instead I will keep it simple, sticking to the point so that I walk away knowing that I got my point across.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 08 May 2014, 01:00

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... 35-saying-…eally-mean-yes/

Day 35: Saying No, When I Really Mean Yes.

There is a pattern that I have of saying no when I really mean yes. We can be in a conversation with others and while the other person is explaining their view on whatever the discussion is about, we tend to interject saying; “No but” then stating our view about the point which for the most part is the same as the other persons. What we mean to say is “Yes I agree and” but we naturally say “No”. Another example is; we say “No” when we don’t want to face something out of fear. Like; “No I don’t want to see or hear that”. The fear of facing ourselves and taking responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed as our world and reality. I see it as, we have gotten so use to using the word “No” in spitefulness that it has become our Yes. In most cases it’s hard to differentiate whether we mean “Yes” or “No”, and when questioned about it, we say; “No I mean Yes”. This shows that we have No idea of how to respond to others when having a conversation, in fact because we have never been self-honest with ourselves enough to say what we really mean, but instead all of our conversations have been based off of knowledge and information, which we don’t express and live by.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and follow a pattern of saying no when I really mean Yes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when in a conversation with others and while the other person is explaining their view on whatever the discussion is about, interject saying; “No but” then stating my view about the point which is for the most part the same as the other persons, instead of saying; “Yes I agree and”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interject when someone else is talking, just to give my perspective instead of waiting until they finish what they’re saying then giving my perspective.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allow myself to say “Yes I agree and” when I agree with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say “No” when I don’t want to face something out of fear. Like; “No I don’t want to see or hear that”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself and taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed as my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word “No” in spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so use to using the word “No” in spitefulness that it has become my Yes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself get to the point of it being hard to differentiate whether I mean “Yes” or “No”. And when questioned about it, I say; “No I mean Yes”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a collective have No idea of how to respond to others when having a conversation, in fact because I as a collective have never been self-honest with myself enough to say what I really mean, but instead all of my conversations have been based off of knowledge and information, which I as a collective don’t express and live by.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be self-honest with myself enough to say what I really mean.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to say what I really mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base all of my conversations off of knowledge and information, which I haven’t expressed and lived by.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by saying “No” when I really mean “Yes” I have accepted and allowed myself to get so use to using the word “No” spitefully, that it has become second nature and normal for me to mistake and use “No” when I really mean “Yes” which shows my inability to communicate properly.


I commit myself to no longer create and follow patterns such as, saying “No when I really mean Yes” but instead I will say what I mean.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself when in a conversation with others and while the other person is explaining their view on whatever the discussion is about, interject saying; “No but” then stating my view about the point which is for the most part the same as the other persons, instead of saying; “Yes I agree and”, I stop and breathe. I realize that by saying; “No” when I really mean “Yes”, I have accepted and allowed myself to get so use to using the word “No” spitefully, that it has become second nature and normal for me to mistake and use “No” when I really mean “Yes” which shows my inability to communicate properly.

I commit myself to when in conversation with others no longer interject saying “No but” then stating my view about the point which is for the most part the same as the other persons when I should have said; “Yes I agree and”, but instead I will wait for the other person to finish explaining their view, so to not get confused with what I am about to say or agree to.

I commit myself to no longer saying “No” when I don’t want to face something out of fear, saying things like; “No I don’t want to see or hear that”, but instead I will use the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to assist and support myself in facing whatever that something is and living the correction.

I commit myself to facing myself and taking responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed in my world and reality.

I commit myself to investigating why it is, I have gotten so use to using the word “No” in spitefulness.

I commit myself to no longer use the word “No in spitefulness, but instead I will use the word “No” in the context of No longer will I participate in my mind.

I commit myself to no longer confusing myself in the difference in using words, but instead I will slow myself down and take a breath before I speak.

I commit myself to becoming self-honest and saying what I really mean by living the words that I speak.

I commit myself to no longer base my conversations off of knowledge and information, but instead I will base my conversations off of the living word; Meaning I will speak the words that I live by.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 12 May 2014, 02:09

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... 36-what-yo…at-you-live-by/

Day 36: What You Think You Know Vs. What You Live By.

I have been one who thought I knew everything, but the things I thought I knew I didn’t live by. It was easy for me to break down others problems and tell them what they needed to do in their lives, but when it came to my problems, I didn’t practice what I preached so to speak. I was living my life as a “positive” person with my own rules. In my life if a problem came up I would tell myself to “stay positive” as if the problem would somehow vanish/disappear in thin air and when it didn’t I would react energetically with anger. So what I thought I knew wasn’t worth knowing and what I lived by wasn’t worth living for. Meaning, I wasn’t living at all. I was following the pattern I created for myself of; speaking what I thought I knew but living by something different.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I know everything, and not live by what I thought I knew.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that It was easy for me to break down others problems and tell them what they needed to do in their lives without correcting the problems in my own life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to practice what I preached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life as a positive person with my own rules.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my life if a problem came up I would tell myself to “stay positive” as if the problem would somehow vanish/disappear in thin air and when it didn’t I would react energetically with anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that problems that comes up in my life would somehow vanish/disappear if I told myself to “stay positive”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react energetically with anger when my problems didn’t somehow vanish/disappear in thin air when I would tell myself to “stay positive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I thought I knew was worth knowing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I lived by was worth living for.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I wasn’t living at all and that I was following the pattern I created for myself of; speaking what I thought I knew and living by something different.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by thinking I know everything, I was limiting myself to what I had pre-programed myself to think I know and by not living what I thought I knew I wasn’t practicing what I preached. Therefore I was just reciting knowledge and information to receive praise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to what I had pre-programed myself to think I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recite knowledge and information to receive praise.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking I know everything, I stop and breathe. I realized that by thinking that I know everything I am limiting myself to what I had pre-programed myself to think I know.

I commit myself to no longer thinking that I know everything and limiting myself to what I had pre-programed myself to think I know, but instead I will leave myself open to understanding that there is more to learn and apply what I’ve learned.

I commit myself to no longer thinking that it’s easy for me to break down others problems and tell them what they needed to do in their lives, but instead I will correct the problems in my own life and get to know who I am.

I commit myself to practicing what I preach.

I commit myself to no longer live my life as a positive person with my own rules, but instead I will live life as what is best for all life.

I commit myself to no longer think that if I tell myself to “stay positive”, my problems would vanish/disappear in thin air, but instead I will face my problems and correct them.

I commit myself to no longer reacting emotionally with anger when my problem don’t somehow vanish/disappear in thin air, but instead I will take a breath to bring myself back here and realize that I need to face my problems in order for them to be to go away.

I commit myself to no longer follow the pattern I created for myself of; speaking what I think I know and living something different, but instead I will stop my mind and live what is best for all life.

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Carlton
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Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 14 May 2014, 22:09

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... ting-self/

Day 37: Trusting Self

Throughout my life, if I was ever asked the question; do you trust yourself? I would answer, “Yes”. I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different. I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions. I have separated me from myself by making things all about me. Others weren’t in the equation unless my staring point with them was self-interested based. I would tell myself that I can’t trust them. I would say things like; “Let me think about that and “get back” at you”, and trust that I would make the “right” decision. By having to think and “get back” at someone shows that I couldn’t trust myself. Whenever I fear anything, I can’t trust myself. When I walk in the house and lock the door behind me. I can’t trust myself. Whenever I second guess myself, I can’t trust myself. Not acknowledging others when I walk by, Is me not trusting myself. Not being able to express myself in the moment is me not trusting myself. Having a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with others, is me not trusting myself. Doing something for myself and asking the question; “What do you think about what “I’ve” done”, and expecting praise, is me not trusting in my own expression. So in fact I didn’t trust myself. I trusted and gave my power away to my mind, believing that that’s who I am.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, if I was ever asked the question; do I trust myself? I would answer, “Yes”, because I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust myself in thinking I was making sound decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from myself by making things all about me and others weren’t in the equation unless my starting point with them was self-interest based. I would tell myself that I can’t trust them and say things like; “Let me “get back” at you”, and trust that I would make the “right” decision. In this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realizing that by having to think and “get back” at someone shows that I couldn’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust others unless my starting point with them was self-interest based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I can’t trust them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say things like; “Let me “get back” at you” and trust that I would make the “right” decision.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that whenever I fear anything, I cant trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I walk in the house and lock the door behind me, I can’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that whenever I second guess myself, I can’t trust myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that not acknowledging others when I walk by, is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that not being able to express myself in the moment is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that having a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with others, is me not trusting myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that doing something for myself and asking the question; “What do you think about what “I’ve” done”, and expecting praise, is me not trusting in my own expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define trust in separation from and as me, as; I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by answering the question; do I trust myself with “Yes” because I believed that I was in control and nobody could tell me anything different, is proof that I can’t trust myself because by saying; “nobody could tell me anything different”, I have separated myself from myself which is giving my power away to my mind trusting and believing that that’s who I am.



I commit myself to when and as I see myself answering the question; do you trust yourself with “Yes” , because I believed that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, I stop and breathe. I realize that that’s proof that I can’t trust myself because by saying; “nobody could tell me anything different”, I have separated myself from myself which is giving my power away to my mind, trusting and believing that that’s who I am.


I commit myself to no longer answering the question; do you trust yourself with “Yes” because I believe that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, but instead I will answer the question “Yes” when I have learned who I am.

I commit myself to no longer thinking that I am in control and nobody could tell me anything different, but instead I will learn how to trust myself which will give me self-control.

I commit myself to no longer think that I’m making sound decisions, but instead I will get to know who I am to obtain self-trust, so that the decisions that I do make are sound.

I commit myself to no longer separate me from myself by making things all about me, but instead I will get to know myself.

I commit myself to learning myself as who I am so that I am able to trust myself and will be able to trust others.

I commit myself to no longer saying things like; “Let me get back at you” and trust that I would make the right decision, but instead I will trust myself in making a decision in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer fearing anything, but instead I will learn to trust myself.

I commit myself to trusting myself instead of when I walk in house, lock the door behind me.

I commit myself to no longer second guess myself, but instead to trust myself.

I commit myself to acknowledging others when I walk by.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself not being able to express myself in the moment, I stop and breathe. I realize that by not being able to expressing myself in the moment, I don’t trust myself.

I commit myself to expressing myself in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to have a conversation with myself about a conversation that I’ve had with other, but instead I will leave the conversation I had with others in that moment.

I commit myself to no longer doing something for myself and asking the question; “what do you think about what “I’ve” done’, and expecting praise from others, but instead, I will trust my own expression.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing myself to define trust in separation from and as me, as; I trusted myself in thinking I was making sound decisions, but instead through writing self-forgiveness and self-corrective application assist and support myself in learning who I am in relations to trust as me, so that I am able to live life Trusting Self.


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