Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 19 Sep 2017, 22:31

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nciples-1/

Day 637: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (1)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of What is Best for All – Guiding myself in thought, word and deed to always, in all ways, direct all things to the best possible outcome for all.
• Taking into consideration the effects of my thoughts, words and deeds on the world around me (people, plants, animals, environment) and ensuring that the thoughts, words and deeds I am living honour the best potential of myself and all of life on Earth, to the best of my ability.
• Standing unconditionally in the shoes of all people and all things, and being able to at the end of the day say that I have fully considered all within the context of creating the best possible outcome for everyone and everything – that I have honored and considered them in the way that I would like to be honored and considered.


My life has always been about me, introverted into my own self belief system, believing what I was taught and anything outside of that was the wrong way to be, although I had serious doubt about it, I still conformed to it, out of the fear that if I didn’t something would happen to me, therefore, anyone outside of this belief system, I had no consideration for, unless it was an immediate or distant family member, other than that, people were of the world and I couldn’t be around them, (Literally) it was against my religion, so the partiality I existed as only range to those in my immediate, rather Close knit, Limited reality, that is until I got out into the world on my own.

But I did have a sense of care for others in general, where I never liked or wanted to see people, anyone get hurt, be hurt, bullied, no matter who they were, that wouldn’t set well with me and if I could do something about it, I would, and that of course still stands with me today.

Although, I was raised hearing the analogy; “Hear no Evil”, “Speak no Evil”, “See no Evil”, my thoughts, words and deeds was a different story, being that what came up within me, I believed to be because of some undetermined force guiding me to say, do, and hear things without question, with no consideration to who it was towards, so if I reacted/lashed out at someone, I believed they deserved it, for making me feel a certain way, which I now see in hindsight, is not the way things are supposed to be.

Interesting how within this non-consideration, when it comes to standing unconditionally in the shoes of others, I would only imagine their hardship, but couldn’t see myself in their position, being that, I was taught into believing that it was peoples own fault for the way they’re life is, and their parents fault, for the environment in which they were raised, I mean obviously I had no understanding of how things work in this life we choose, but remained as a separatist for most of my life, and for that;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my life have always made things about me, introverted into my own self belief system, with no consideration for anyone or anything outside of my immediate and distant family, believing in what I was taught, and anything outside of that was the wrong way to be, although I had doubt about it, but I still conformed to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I didn’t conform to what I was taught, something would happen to me and that I couldn’t associate with those outside of my church, because they were of the world and worldly, therefore it was against my religion, I mean literally, so the partiality I existed as only ranged to those in my immediate, rather close knit, Limited reality, and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a limited life of separating myself from others, with no consideration for them and their existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, guide myself through thought, word and deed to always, in all way, direct all things to the best possible outcome for all, but instead, I let things come out of me, from word, to my reactions, emotion and feeling, the way they did, believing them to be who I am and so let them direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to although I did have a sense of care for others in general, never liking or wanting to see them, anyone get hurt, be hurt, bullied, no matter who they were, that was the extent of consideration I would have for them, which is cool but not enough, to the point of seeing them as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not take into consideration the effects my thoughts, words and deeds on the world around me (people, plants, animals, environment) and ensuring that the thought, words and deeds I am living honour the best possible potential of myself and all of life on Earth, to the best of my ability, but instead thought and acted only in the interest of myself as per what I was taught to believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what came out of me as my thoughts words and deeds was because of some undetermined force guiding me to say, do and hear things without question, and believed that was good, that is until I realized/learned that this guiding force was not God as I saw it, but my mind that I believed myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought people deserved what as reactions that came out from within and as me, blaming them for the way I would feel in that moment, instead of taking responsibility and directing myself as them as a point of stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when it comes to standing unconditionally in the shoes of others, only imagine their hardship, but couldn’t see myself in their positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to was taught into believing that it was peoples fault for the way they’re life is, and their parents fault for the environment in which they were raised, without any understanding of how things work in this life we choose to be in, in this preprogrammed existence and remained as a separatist for most of my life, that is until Desteni came along and I’m now walking my process of changing myself to the Principle of What is best for All, and so,

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand unconditionally in the shoes of all people and all things, and being able to at the end of the day say that I have fully considered all within the context of creating the best possible outcome for everyone and everything – that I have honored and considered them in the way that I would like to be considered. Therefore, I commit myself to getting to the point within my process of standing equal to and one with all as me, doing what’s best for all, in thoughts words and deed, to let my actions, be the example of my accountability to life, where I’m able to stand in the shoes of others unconditionally, without any movement or reactions coming up within and as me in no way what so ever – to become the living example of the words I speak, watching what I do, my actions and behavior in every moment of breath.



Thanks for reading



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 21 Sep 2017, 20:29

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nciples-2/

Day 638: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (2)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Self-Honesty - Reflecting on myself and seeing every part of me (the good, bad, and ugly) without bias or judgment so that I can take responsibility to change that which I no longer accept and allow

Throughout my life, if you would have told me to reflect on myself, the first thing that would come up would be, my physical stature and/or how someone else has made me feel, that I believed created the way I was in that moment. Secondly, how some punishment for a child consist of going into time out, where it is believed that the child standing in the corner reflecting on what they have done, is a solution to the perceived problem, without explaining to the child first off, the nature of their ways, I mean it’s just; “I told you to stop boy, so go stand in the corner”, which is almost like isolation for those who’ve experience this incarcerated, it’s not a good thing, especially when there’s no realization of how the mind works, let alone how to stop it.

There have been times throughout my life when looking at what I’ve done, in relation to the good, I’ve accepted it as and excitement point of energy, praising myself for it, done by nobody but me, but on the other hand, when looking at the bad, I’ve always invoked the blame factor, as if I had nothing to do with what I’d done and/or how I experienced myself in that moment, it was always someone else’s fault, stating, they did this to me, don’t blame me, if you wouldn’t have did this, that and the other, then I wouldn’t have done what I did. I mean there was no point of self-honesty that existed within and as me, unless I felt that the person deserved it, then it would be in spite of.

The ugly, was just that ugly, that I didn’t want anyone to know about or see, because I didn’t want to see it myself, these where the type of things that in hindsight, one would say to oneself; “I did that” and “What the fuck did I just do”, then suppress it deep within and as me, instead of being self-honest with myself, in bringing it to the forefront of my mind to look at and correct within myself.

Since then to now a lot has change, that I have found Desteni, and the Principles in which everyone should and will live by, that I am now walking, Self-Honesty being the Second one. So, Self-Honesty to me is taking my good, bad and ugly and placing it into context as me, to look at, investigate and take responsibility for, when no one is around, within myself, that the point of Self-Honesty really comes into play, because at the end of the day, there’s no one that can correct or change me but me, to be, live life to my utmost potential as who I am as life, therefore;

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to reflect on myself and see every part of me (the good, bad and ugly) without bias or judgement so that I can take responsibility to change that which I no longer accept and allow, but instead judged myself for the things I’ve done throughout my life accepted and allowed, that of the bad and ugly, that I didn’t want anyone to know about and or see, and thus have suppressed it within and as me, that would resurface later on in my life, time and time again, because I wasn’t Self-Honest with myself in the first place, enough to correct them when they would happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the bad that existed within and as me, starting with the devil made me do it, and into, this, that or the other person, for what I’ve done and or the way I experienced myself in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress the ugly within and as me, the things that I didn’t want anyone to know about or see, because I didn’t want to see the ugly that was me myself, but instead would have the picture-perfect presentation of myself within character for any given moment as a veil, whenever I believed the light to be shining in my direction so to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to praise myself for the good that I’ve done, taking all the credit for it, standing by it to no avail, being that I derived energy from it along with a cocky sense of accomplishment, that would feed my ego, then would turn right back around and feel the rollercoaster ride down into depression, because the energy high wasn’t long enough, then into something bad or ugly again, because I wasn’t Self-Honest with myself in the first place, therefore;


I commit myself to continue to at all times, alone or in the company of others, to live the Principle of Self-Honesty, reflecting on myself and seeing every part of me (the good, bad and ugly) without bias or judgement so that I can take responsibility to change that which I no longer accept and allow - that would come up, when interacting with others, verbally and/or in the confines of my mind, and especially when I’m alone in every moment with breath.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 25 Sep 2017, 21:41

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nciples-3/

Day 639: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (3)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Self-Perfection Through Self-Creation - Self-Perfection is the process of reflecting on and investigating myself through writing, releasing myself from the past through Self-Forgiveness, and changing myself through Self-Application and living change. These tools allow me to develop a deep intimacy with myself, enabling me to see the workings of who I am, how I came to be this way, and how to create myself into the best possible expression of myself that I can be.

First off, when it comes to the words, ‘Self-Perfection’, I’ve used them in reverse where, throughout my life I’ve searched for, seek to be the Perfect Self, (as I saw it) thinking that this perfect self, consisted of, the perfect body, and way of being, with money in my pocket, which was entirely my mental perception of ‘Self-Perfection’, that I made extremely superficial, being that of a system design and Ego driven, and the way I would achieve this, never had anything to do with Self-Correction, I mean correcting myself/oneself (to me) was to be/get in shape, stay in shape, that would make my pictured perfect presentation a force to be reckoned with, without realizing the wrecking that I was doing to me, and in my life, all in the name of wanting to have/gain status, to be perfect, look perfect, get respect and have control (in a way) over the perceptions of others, in essence wanting to be the center of Attention, instead of Centering, Silencing and Grounding myself enough to realize that I needed to Attend to me, but instead would do things outside of myself, such as, working out, watching people and reading shit, defining who I am base on knowledge and information, without a clue on how to stand in Formation with who self really is, that calls for Investigating how I created me, I mean this way of looking at/perpetuating thing was a cocktail for disaster, as I would Bastardize myself away from Self, thinking that I was doing me some good.

Then you have the words ‘Through Self-Creation’, which at that time wasn’t in my vocabulary, simply unheard of for any human being to Create themselves, I mean I was taught to believe, that was Gods job, which in hindsight I see as a complete abdication of self-responsibility, where we are responsible, for who we have created ourselves to be, and how we’ve created ourselves to be, and that in which we believe ourselves to be, which is not who we really are, but a figment of our preprogrammed design, that’s copied from the Inherent Nature of our Beingness, which is Spitefulness, that I now see can be changed, when effectively using the Principle of ‘Self-Perfection Through Self-Creation’.

Being that I’ve been walking my process now for a few year, I can now attest to this process of reflecting on and investigating myself through writing, I mean I’ve always hated just about anything having to do with writing, that is until, I started to and learned how to write about myself/write myself out, HERE, outside of any Self-Praise given and/or Egotistical jargon, I’ve learned that it is possible to release myself from the past through Self-Forgiveness, that has nothing to do with asking any entity outside of myself to forgive me Please, I’ve learned that I can change myself through Self-Application, as to when and as I see myself making a same mistake of my past, I will Not accept and allow myself to continue to do this, but instead, I stop and breathe that would first stop my participation within this mistake, have a look at it in its totality, correct oneself, and do the opposite (walk the other way) and living change.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 28 Sep 2017, 20:02

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nciples-4/

Day 640: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (4)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Self-Responsibility - Living and applying my ability to respond within the realization that I alone am responsible for what I accept and allow inside myself, my relationships, and my outside world. Only I have the power and ability to change that which is compromising who I am, what I live, and how this affects others.

Responsibility, I’ve externalized throughout my life, as things that need to be done around the house, from chores to bills, work projects and still, not once considered it being my responsibility as to how I would make someone else feel, unless that someone was me.

I had never considered Self-Responsibility once in my life, outside of my health and keeping myself clean, taking showers, brushing my teeth and having a clean set of clothes on my back, I mean that was the extent to my Self-Responsibility, for me, by me and no one else was within my consideration, my thought, words ways and deed, was purely for my own self-interest, that I believe suited me fine, therefore I would take my ups and downs as just a part of life throwing me a lemon at time, and others a Lemon chocolate cake lol, (per se), it didn’t dawn on me that I had/have the ability to change what I was experiencing, by taking responsibility for myself, I simply thought I was. But was far from it.

The things I accepted and allowed inside myself was normal occurrences, part of my Human Nature and so part of me, that I perpetuated in my life, as the way I was, that I believed needed No correction, but my current actions at the time did no justice to me/for me, but only compromised most every relationship I was in, from friendship to partnership, to even acquaintances I would find a way to fuck up, by letting my Ego step in, not knowing how to take Self-Responsibility for it as myself, but responded to things with more anger and frustration that things wasn’t getting any better for me, in my life.

In essence I’ve learned how I have been giving my power away to my mind as Ego, that would respond in times for me, as me, when I need to step up and take responsibility for myself and the things I’ve done, I mean some of the situation I would put myself in was like mind blowing and didn’t have a way out of it, because I had no awareness of my Self-Location, and yes, where was I all this time, when all I need to do was to face these situations head on and correct myself for them, that would have an outcome that would be best for myself and others involved.

I’ve know how easy it is to follow suit, to follow after the thoughts that comes up in our mind, and when shit gets tough, run away from it, form a new relationship, then rinse and repeat, but where’s the responsibility in that, how many failed relationships do one have to be in before I realize I’m purposefully sabotaging the existence of me, as others in my world and reality., when it’s my responsibility to correct myself for what I say/have said to other, the behavior of me in the presence of myself first and foremost and that of others, the way I allow myself to be moved into a feeling/emotions, due to the acceptance of my mind/Ego coming into play, deriving from the words and/or actions of someone else, instead of seeing this occurrence as a gift, showing me to myself, that when corrected/taken responsibility for, stabilize my beingness, to no longer accept and allow myself to fall for and victim to the abdication of owning up to, facing and taking Self-Responsibility for me, as me and all in my world and reality for who I was and have become as a person in my life, therefore;


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to Live and apply my ability to respond within the realization that I alone am responsible for what I accept and allow inside myself, my relationships, and my outside world, but instead only considered me in the equation of all as one as equal, with the belief that this separatist way of living is how things are supposed to be, and that what went on inside me was beyond my control, as I was sadly mistaken myself to be my mind as Ego. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that only I have the power and ability to change that which is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others, but instead believed that what I did was warranted and so a part of who I was and what I was supposed to do in certain situations, because that’s just how things normally went, as I followed suit, to the demise of all my relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalize responsibility (throughout my life) as superficial things that needed to be done around the house with chores and paying bills and work project, instead of seeing/realizing the internalized aspect of taking self-responsibility for what I accept and allow inside myself, my relationships and my outside world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand how taking self-responsibility is the calling card or sorts for changing me, experiencing change within my life, that would be conducive to building healthy and stable relationships with people in my world and reality, instead of my acceptance of people coming and going in and out of my life, due to my lack of self-responsibility for the way I would carry myself when dealing with them, therefore I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to just sit ideally by, relinquishing my self-control through the abdication of my self-responsibility, but to instead, to live and apply my ability to respond within the realization that I alone am responsible for what I accept and allow inside myself, my relationships and my outside world, correcting myself in every moment with/of breath.

[Sidenote] This is really the 5th Principle instead of the 4th, so in the next post I will be doing the 4th principle 5th.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 29 Sep 2017, 19:24

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... principle/

Day 641: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (5) which is the 4th Principle’

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

• The Principle of Investigate All Things and Keep What Is Good - I unconditionally investigate, consider, and introspect all aspects, expressions, perspectives, and avenues of life and assess what can practically be applied within the Principle of What is Best for All.

I’ve followed a design that was laid out for me to step into and live out, being that of coming to a family, grounded in a religious belief system, where the investigation was into the Bible we dive, and any other books that would validate what the bible would say and that’s it, it was never any mention, actually there was a subtle mention of investigating all thing, but in the religious context of things, it was to look at them and debunk it, without taking any practical common sense from what one would find, and just because if things of common sensical reasoning were in what was investigated or looked at, depending on who it was coming from/said by, determined whether or not we would follow and or agree, if it was someone our church deemed worldly/not of God that stated a common sensical fact, the persons Character would come into play/question and any and everything they said/would say would be taken with a grain of salt, and repudiated, claiming that this person is in denial of their past, so anything they say shouldn’t be believed, which is partiality at its max and not conducive to and in any point of investigation.

Interesting how, when one realize to investigate all things and keep that which is good, the first things that comes up is self-interest, through self-manipulation, meaning we take thing from our investigation that’s only good for us in the moment and not what’s good/best for all and so initially hard to dictate between the two, stating what’s good for me may not be good for you, remaining as an opinionated self in accepting what I can get from it, based in feel good energy, I mean I got to survive here, no one is going to do anything for me, which is in fact, fact, simply because we haven’t taken others into consideration, as to what’s good for them as well, at any time, I mean ‘give as you would like to receive’, ‘do unto others as you would like to be done unto’, what happened to these Principles that Jesus stated plenty of times, which is not investigated thoroughly, but taken for granted and change, by the very Christians that supposedly follow Jesus to the core.

You really can’t denounce something that hasn’t been thoroughly investigated, just because it seems to be/maybe different than what you’re used to and the rest of society for that matter, and even though the masses at this stage have the monopoly on things, doesn’t mean that what you find is best for all of them, although accepted by most as the status quo. Investigations these days have become about superficial things and other people, meaning I’m going to look at this person online on dating sites to see if they’re good enough for me, then make our decision based on the way their page look and not on who they really are as a person’, and when all else fails we dump them and back to the drawing board, on Facebook as the saving grace of Humanity, (so to speak).

Investing one’s time and energy into finding solutions that would be best for all to the problems we’ve created and now face, should be on all that’s breathing agenda, and a norm for all of humanity to live by/as, but is not taken into consideration that it starts with oneself, by investigating how I can be the best possible me that I can be, internally and in my world and reality, then externally in this world and reality, and doing what is best for all.

So here I stand (while sitting) no longer in a state of mind to debunk that from which I came, in this case religion, where I’ve talked about religion a lot in my blogs, but more as a realization in hindsight of what I’ve been through and now see the obvious that’s been right in front of me this whole time, and how I live to correct myself for what I missed and through investigating all things and keeping that which is good, I’m able to assess the parts in which I perpetuate that is best for all.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally investigate, consider and introspect all aspects, expressions, perspectives and avenues of life and assess what can practically be applied within the Principle of what is best for all, but instead, out of self-interest, picked and choose things through my investigations, that was only good for me, without realizing the me in all and taking into consideration the mess that I help create in this world and reality, that I’ve brought with me into my own world and reality, that has limited me from reaching my utmost potential and living the good that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to investigate me thoroughly enough to realize that my investigations were all superficial based on what made me feel good in any given moment of investigating things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no use practical common sense when investigating things to assess what’s really best for all and/or just the few of us, that would, have delineated whether or not I did a thorough enough investigation., therefore, I commit myself to continue to investigate all things and keeping that which is good, with a starting point of that which is best for all.

Thanks for reading.

Desteni.org



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 02 Oct 2017, 19:14

https://carltontedford.wordpress.com/20 ... nciples-6/

Day 642: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (6)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Self-Awareness - An active reflection and seeing of what is happening inside myself - my thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions, and understanding that I am at all times responsible for what I accept and allow and what I participate in and thus give my power and attention to. To realize that my words become deeds and thus the words I allow within become the actions and consequences I create without.

I am aware that I am Here physically (as most are), but haven’t been present most of my life, stored away in my mind, trying to steal away back to myself, which is home, connect to a heart that pump blood that powers the system that is now me, automated to believe the sideshow is what’s real and that the wheels of time is on my side, unaware that I’m siding with a Mind that controls me, as I think this is who I am, accepting with limitations my ability to only see in 3d and not what’s inside me, around me and in front of me as me, which resides within another frequency, but I am aware, somewhere in the Here that is me.

My active reflection consist of looking at myself in the mirror, or might I say, looking for myself in the mirror, pointing out what my mind sees as flaws, fat jaws and a pimple on my cheek, which is life in fact, but seen as a shell of me, because the me is not present, but dangling as a puppet on these string that I’m connected to, chasing the ‘merry go round’ of thoughts going through my head, connected to emotions and feeling, but instead of realizing what’s happening, I react to them, then claim, I’m not responsible for the way you made me feel, although I accepted and allowed it, something amiss, but I am aware of this.

What I participate in and thus give my power and attention to, is not Me, Myself and I, but You, Them and They, ‘How do You feel about me’, ‘I want to be just like Them over there’, and ‘They did this to me, I had nothing to do with it’, but was aware of what they were doing, meaning I am aware, knowing what I participate in, my participation within it, and the consequential outflow to come, but in the midst of, give way to the demands of my mind that I let Hijack my Awareness, replacing it with being confined to Space and Time, but I’m aware of this, or am I.

I am aware of the pain inside me, but can’t explain it. I am aware that I have a brain but don’t know how to use it to its fullest potential. I am aware that I am strictly mental, but is this really wo I am, is my mind that compromises my relationships really that instrumental, I mean there has to be a simpler way of looking at things. I am aware that my dreams are not real, but they sure do feel like it, then wake up attempting to recreate them in reality, but it doesn’t work that way, and instead of learning something from them, I chose to stay within them, until I’m finish and my days are done, as a collective, believing that I’m having fun and aware of it, but where is the Self in this equation, and introspection, inspecting my mood swing and how I look at things, thing is if we were really that Self-Aware, we wouldn’t have to write down how we feel, therefore;


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actively reflect and see what is happening inside myself – my thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions, and understand that I am at all times responsible for what I accept and allow and what I participate in and thus give my power and attention away to. Within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that my words become deeds and thus the words I allow within become the actions and consequences I create without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences within my life, because, I wasn’t Self-Aware of myself, within myself, as to how I would experience me and the things I participated in accept and allowed myself to give my power and attention away to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thought that Self-Awareness was being aware of the things I liked and didn’t like, that I would either gravitate towards and/or shied away from, instead of seeing that I needed to investigate how I felt and would react towards these things.

And so, looking at how I was aware of only certain things in my external environment, that I let shield me from looking internally at myself, I see how my life have been a complete abdication away from taking responsibility for myself, through being Self-Aware of myself, that I now live by and follow at all times actively reflecting and seeing inside me what come up, why, and then go immediately into the correction phase, meaning I am now becoming more Self-Aware of me.

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 05 Oct 2017, 20:39

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Day 643: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (7)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Give as You Would Like to Recieve - Considering the context and the lives of each individual being. Considering, regarding, and supporting them in the way that I would have liked to be considered, regarded, and supported had I been in their place and lived their life, where the support that I give does not compromise myself or cause harm to anyone.

Whenever I’ve had anything perishable throughout my life, that someone would ask for, maybe need, I wouldn’t have any quorums giving it to them, for most part, I believed if someone needed something they should have it (support as well), especially in relations to a person’s well-being, survival, food, shelter, etc. but even more so, the advice I would give when asked, wouldn’t always be to appease there self-interest, I always for most part had an neutral point of view, where if it was a relationship problem per se, I wouldn’t tell them to just leave their partner and/or, agree with whatever they said, I’ve always kept a “it takes two to tango” stand point of view, simply because I would want the same done for me, just the same as, withholding information from someone, I’ve come to dislike this, throughout my life, since I was young and was told in many ways, that the protection of a child is to withhold information from them, which can be/Is in most cases, that much further away from the truth, being that in the end, once the child or person in general learns that you withheld vital information from them, that could have been used to possibly change their point of view on things and so their Life in a few instances, if told or show what they were so-called protected from, they might not take it too well. And in some cases, it may be the other way around.

I mean in this case are we really take into regard/consideration, what may be best for an individual, or for our own self-interested assumptions, thinking to ourselves, that they don’t want to hear or know this, because if it was me, I wouldn’t want to hear or know what I’m not telling them, but who are we to tell, meaning we say that when the information is about someone else, but when the information is about us, that no one is telling us, we scream blood murder.

Interesting how I’ve experienced this on a major scale throughout my adult life, now knowing that not every person you know will do what you would do without question, give as you would to them, (in regards to vital information) but all else said and because they don’t share this information about you to you, do we react to this and stop sharing with them as well, I mean it’s a hard but fine line, between staying who you are as giver and/or becoming spitefully assumptive as they are, some might say ‘Well it’s within my Nature’ which is the case, but we as a collective don’t have to accept this as who we are.

Give as you would like to receive, there is no one that’s exempt from going to someone for something, but selective as you will, and would perpetuate as if you don’t need anything, in front of those you’re not willing to give freely to as you would like to receive, makes life a thing of cost, not a demand to be lived, and would on the other hand demand respect without first giving it.

It’s fairly rather easy to give, but rarely done, because we tell ourselves that we don’t want to be left holding the bag per se, thinking and sometime knowing that it may not come back – that we won’t receive in some form or another what we gave, which puts our giving in vain. Thing is giving should be done unconditional, with no expectations and by all mean, if you really don’t have it to give, don’t compromise yourself by giving what you don’t have, as I still have this point coming up within and as me at times, but immediately correct it, as this aspect of myself is a work in progress, but I do give as I would like to receive, so;

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 07 Oct 2017, 20:03

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Day 644: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (8)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle Self-Trust - No matter what hardships, failures, and mistakes I may face, I always come back to myself and the principles that I stand as. I will not give up or allow myself to blame others for the circumstances of my life or how I choose to live it. I take absolute self-responsibility.

It’s interesting how we say trust and believe that Ima do this, that and the other, if and/or about a pending situation, to someone, then build up in our minds that we are really going to do the damn thing, but when the moment presents itself, we get cold feet (per se) and as the fear of actuality sets in, we become silent and/or embarrassed-aggressive, depending on the response we get from another person, throwing back in our face; “But I thought you said”, with a smirk on their face and that’s when all the excuses in the world comes out from within us, because we we’re simply too scared to trust in our Self.

The point of remaining grounded, no matter what hardships, failures and mistakes I may make is timely, as I am currently walking this point in my life, facing a few hardships because of a few mistakes I’ve made, and even if directed by someone else, my positioning placement, is but merely my fault as well, in all self-honesty, thus I must take responsibility for it, being that I know better and have the Tools of correction needed to correct myself, giving up, nor giving in, nor blaming another for the trust I put in them is not an option.

Which brings up my next point of; the trust we put in others, without first trusting ourselves, I mean come and save me, help me through this hardship, and when the other is not in a position to, we compromise the relationship we have with them, by saying fuck you then, all the while, knowing that the solution is within us, but chose to remain blinded by the Idea of the easy way out, sort of like forgoing the Starbucks coffee line and placing a mobile order.

If you were to tell someone to trust yourself/trust in yourself the first thing that would come up is a feeling and then they would say, I am/do trust myself that I’m going to do what I want/going to do, which is but a mind excerpt, and far from what Self-Trust really is, as I have experienced myself being this way, believing that my Self-Trust was defined by a first notion, then move into motion towards enacting/playing out what was presented by my mind, and interestingly enough, once hardships fell upon me, I would cower away and give up, until the next spurt of energy would come within and as me, as something else to do and chase after later.

Blindly following a preprogrammed design, that defined my usage of the word trust, has always been directed, in a direction away from myself and not towards/to/as my-Self, Me, really trusting in myself that I would get through whatever it was that I was facing, while standing firm as who I am in between time, which is the most important part, because we quickly Apt to say; “Everything is going to be alright” to one another, and or “You’ll get through it”, but in the midst of, stressing the fuck out, which is without a doubt not Self-Trust, but Self-Stress/Anguish then Pain, and all that remain is a head ache for thinking too much and an extended period of hardship. Therefore;


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced anguish, a head ache and pain in the midst of a hardship, where I then became hard on myself through judgement and frustration, instead of seeing, my self-positioning/placement in the matter with clarity to be able to stand through it all, trusting my self-resolve in and of the matter, as I in more ways than one did this to myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to, live the principle of Self-Trust unequivocally as, no matter what hardship, failures and mistakes I may make, to always come back to myself and the principles that I stand as – that I will not give up or allow myself to blame others for the circumstances of my life or how I choose to live it, and to take absolute self-responsibility, but instead, have melted in a way giving way to my mind, that would disperse pieces of myself all over the place so to speak, during any emotional breakdowns I would have, when all I had to do was Trust my-Self…

And so on and so forth to move forward into correcting oneself for our lack of Self-Trust, so in essence we have to stop placing our trust in others, because of how easy it is to blame them when things go wrong with us, in our lives, and live Self-Trust as the Assuredness that I see my own fault in the matter, understand how I’ve placed myself in the position I’m in, and to remain stable while walking through and into the point of correct, to find that connect with and as my Human Physical Body and so is how I am, and will continue to Live Self-Trust.

Thanks for Reading.



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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 09 Oct 2017, 20:32

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Day 645: Then Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (9)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

• The Principle of Making Love Real - Nurturing and honouring the utmost potential in every individual (including myself) wherein love is not a feeling or emotions, but an action that is lived by doing whatever is necessary to support without compromising myself or the other - without fear of "losing" the relationship or the feelings associated to love, and without accepting or allowing less than my own or my partner's utmost potential.

As if it makes things all the better for it when stating, “But I love you” as a statement that supposed to be the end all to be all of coming back together, when a mishap happens within a relationship, which is really a last beg and plea to keep the comfortability of what you had going in place, as the fear of loss comes into play, which creates the beginning of the end of any relationship, that perpetuates servitude from hence forward from one or the other, until the other becomes fed up and can’t take it any longer and abruptly calls it quits, but if love was real, then the mishaps would have been seen, used as a point of correction into connection, connecting with the one you really love, being that we wouldn’t have accept from the other anything less than who they are, but by accepting it, we’ve fallen victim to being less than who we are, but who are we in the midst of loving the feeling that we have defined as Love?

They say love will make you do crazy thing, but is it crazy to point out to another as yourself, how lazy I’m being, I mean are we really seeing this love thing the right way, the real way if love loves and hate at the same time? How is it possible to claim that you’re mine and I love you, when we don’t have the spine to stand up straight for what we see that's compromising our relationships, with our partners/friends and the world as a hold, but would rather hold onto the meaningless interaction we’re having with that someone, stating; ”I don’t want to piss them off” (Out of self-interest), because who will I then turn to, too validate my way of being, in which case thinking that we’re compatible and that’s what love is all about.

I think not when thinking too much about how I make others feel and how they view/look at me, which is far from Nurturing and Honoring the Utmost potential in every individual, because I have failed to do that with myself, work on myself, in fact love myself outside of becoming emotional when consoling myself during a Pity Party I once gave me, claiming Nobody Loves me and believing it to be true, but when those that really love me point out how what I’m doing compromises who I really am, we ask them why are they always so negative, then disassociate ourselves from the real love in fact given from the one that we now question the motives of, instead of question our actions in the moments of being corrected.

Then you have; “I’ll do anything to prove my Love to you, which most likely ends up being compromising/degrading to oneself that gives the power to the other person, and I don’t care who you are, the first thing that comes up in your mind, when saying such a statement, is the hope for them to ask you to do and perform some erotic sexual act, which 9 times out of 10 is nowhere on their mind (With You) in anyway what so ever, I mean let’s be honest here, when you fear losing something/someone, the idea of doing just about anything to keep what ‘Was’ in place, back there, is on the forefront of one’s mind, but again if real love was in play, we wouldn’t find ourselves in such precarious positions.

I have positioned myself too many times in a place of compromise within relationships throughout my life, thinking that love made me do it, that is until I realized that the love that I perpetuated (per my definition) was the sabotaging point within it, and so started to shy away from it, but it wasn’t until I found Desteni, did I learn what real love really is, and so now walking the point of Making Love Real for myself first and then that of others within my world and reality and I must say that this is a process worth walking and would suggest for you walk it for your self, by investigating Desteni and/or starting with the Free Online course they have Here, The DIP Lite course (Desteni I Process Lite).

Thanks for reading.



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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 11 Oct 2017, 18:56

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Day 646: The Desteni of Living – Declaration of Principles (10)

In this Series, I will be having a looking at the Desteni of Living Declaration of Principles, at how I was as a person in relation to them, what do they mean to me, how I see them now, any corrections needed and how I will implement them into my life and live them to the best of my ability and beyond, that would assist me into changing my Human Nature, from being Self-Centered to becoming Equal to and one with who Self is, showing and doing, walking and living these Principles into doing that which is best for all Life, in all ways, always.

The Principle of Relationships as Agreements - Individuals coming together to support the manifestation of the best possible versions of ourselves and each other. Nurturing each other's potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths. Creating a safe space for the healthy expression of intimacy and sexuality.

It's fairly easy to relate to someone when relations is all that you have on you mind as a starting point, then from there, because of the relations, we believe we found our soul mate/better half and/or significant other, without getting to know who this relations partner really is, therefore, we become attached to a watered down version of the person in question, held together by a string of feelings, chasing after that first energetic experience we’ve had with them, and would say anything to one another in order re-live it again, to keep hope alive, (per se) walking around on eggshell, secretly despising the point of believing that I have to feel this way, when walking this way literally hurts the sole of my foot, which is why Agreements are warranted/Needed to really enjoy a life worth living with someone, that with you together can come together to support the manifestation of the best possible version of ourselves individually and then each other.

How many times have you pointed out your own weakness to yourself, let alone, became stuck within the Idea of pointing others out to them, unless it was in spite of, I mean who wants to fuck their own shit up, “IF” it’s going so well with her/him, and am I weak for thinking this way, the same goes for asking a lady what’s her age and watch a senti-mentality come to life, meaning I sent you a sign and you got all emotional on me, so No I like them just the way they are, with no realization or consideration of the other and how greater the compatibility would be, when sharing/showing and realizing things about one another with each other, but we’re too superficial to officiate in equality, that in which Agreements bring.

When mentioning the word Agreement to anyone, the first thing for most that comes up is not a togetherness, but the separation of what I can do for you and you for me at a cost, and if all else fails, we take them to court, if the Agreement was written and/or say; “But you promised”, if sealed with a handshake or a mild understanding, I’ll Agree with you if it suits my self-interest or the interest of the company, other than that, we’re at odds and enjoy sitting back at odds with ourselves, I mean the comfortability within spite is extensive and accepted as a normal, thus relationship are formed open ended, stating I/we have an open relationship with each other, meaning you can go have relations with anyone, but so can I, without question, that being the extent of Agreement within relationships.

But rest assured a healthy expression of intimacy and sexuality is never reached, because things soon become monotonous, in the midst of, where a connection is never reached, because at the forefront of our mind is the fling we just had, and this that we’re doing, is just to satisfy the other momentarily, so we can continue having flings, in this Agreement of an Open relationship, which is actually opening the door to calling it quits more sooner than later, where within that a safe space is never created, because both have put themselves in a compromising position.

This in which I speak about is the realizations in hindsight of the literal hell I put myself through within, just about all my past relationship, in which we ended up never Agreeing on anything substantial, where support was only in the sense of not pissing the other off, and seconding the idealistic way we both thought, until our ideas collided and didn’t want to deal with each other anymore, claiming that the thrill is gone’, the thrill is gone away.

But it wasn’t until I took the Agreement Course that Desteni offers Online, within the DIP Pro courses, did I gain an understanding of what Relationships as Agreements really are, and so committed myself to when and as I am in the midst of creating a relationship with someone, to walk an Agreement with them with a starting point of coming together to support the manifestation of the best possible version of ourselves and each other. Nurturing each other’s potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths, which has stopped me from going into frivolous relationship (for most part), as a waste of my time and the other involve, and so now I am walking the Principle of Relationships as Agreement, that takes a massive amount of correction, starting with;

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within past relationships and as a starting point, Individually come together with the other to support the manifestation of the best possible version of ourselves and each other, but instead, only saw how this relationship would support my Ego in self-interest as a few momentary feel good energy experiences and went for it, which compromised who I am as a person, in to becoming subservient to the other when things didn’t go as planned and I created a fear of loss within and as me about it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that this would have opened the door for Nurturing each other’s potential and supporting one another to transform weaknesses into strengths, but instead, chased after an open relationship with whomever I was with at the time, allowing them, as well as myself to fed our Ego with the perpetuation of our weaknesses/addictions, not realizing how this would estrange our togetherness, into hanging on to each other by a sting of feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I was safe within the relationships I’ve had, believing that my relations with the person was enough to keep us together and called that intimacy, instead of seeing/realizing/understanding how I was only into me and not them as a person, as who they really are, and thus dislocated my awareness of them being there as equal to me, as me, which always ended up in worst case scenarios, as the consequential outflow of just being in a relationship.

And so on and so forth, as we move one step closer into correcting the relationships we’re in, by transforming them in to Agreements.

Thanks for reading.




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