Carlton's Journey To Life

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 08 Apr 2014, 01:21

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... your-lane/

Day 22: Staying In Your Lane

I realized how we have conditioned ourselves to stay within our lane per say. Whenever I ride the train I observe myself and others. We all seem to be in our own worlds. It’s like a chess game in the mind with eye contact. Once you look at a person they look away, then when you look the other way, they look back at you. It happens with each person who gets on the train. No one says anything to each other unless they came on the train with someone. We just start thinking thoughts of; “I wonder what he or she is like” and “He or she looks good” and “ Man, if only I had her” and “If she or he looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see them in my peripheral and watch them looking at me” and “Why do they keep looking at me”? Then comes the yawning and then nodding off, wondering why we are all of a sudden tired.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to stay within my lane per say whenever I ride the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a chess game in my mind of once you look at a person they look away then when you look the other they look back at you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not say anything to those in my present environment while riding the train but instead have internal conversation about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversation about others why’ll riding the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “I wonder what she is like” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “She looks good” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “Man, if only I had her” come up in my mind why’ll on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “If she looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see her in my peripheral and watch her looking at me” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of; “Why do they keep looking at me” come up in my mind why’ll riding the train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yawn and then nod off, wondering why I am all of a sudden tired. Not seeing/realizing/understanding that my tiredness comes from all of these thoughts I have accepted and allowed myself to think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I was tired.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that my tiredness comes from all of these thoughts I have accepted and allowed myself to think.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself conditioning myself to stay within my lane per say, I stop and breathe. I realize that by staying within my lane I have accepted and allowed myself to get use to and continue to follow my preprogramed patterns of separating myself from the whole.

I commit myself no longer follow my preprogramed patterns of separation, but instead align myself to and create patterns that is best for all life.

I commit myself to no longer create/play a game of chess in my mind of once you look at a person they look away then when you look the other way they look back at you, but instead interact with the person instead of being in the mind.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to have internal conversation about others but instead I will interact and speak with that person.

I commit myself to no longer have a thought of, ”I wonder what she is like” come up in my mind, but instead I will say something if I am in the proximity.

I commit myself to no longer have a thought of, “She looks good” come up in my mind why’ll looking at someone on the train, but instead I will say something if I am in the proximity.

I commit myself to no longer have the thought of, “Man, if only I had her come up in my mind, but instead I will breathe to keep myself from going into my mind.

I commit myself to no longer have the thought of, “If she looks at me I’m going to look slightly off to the side so I can see her in my peripheral and watch her look at me” come up in my mind, but instead I will acknowledge the look and not play mind game with myself.

I commit myself to no longer question why someone is looking at me but instead I will interact with them.

I commit myself to no longer have internal conversations which cause me to yawn and nod off, but instead I will interact with the people/being in my environment in the moment.

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Carlton
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Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 10 Apr 2014, 07:43

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... 23-point-o…-as-validation/ ‎

Day 23: Point of View as Validation

It’s not enough for me to have a point of view about something. I would get others to see my point of view by making it sound convincing thinking that I need validation for me to feel good about myself. I was out with a few people and we saw a movie that was a bit controversial and the question came up of what I thought about it. I gave a convincing point of view and when the others were asked to give their point of view they mirrored what I had said. I felt validated. Although my point of view was based off of my assumptions, I made it sound convincing.

Seems harmless but it isn’t. This is where my self- honesty comes into play. In my mind I had prepared what I was going to say and how I was going to say it if I was asked what I thought about the movie. I just said whatever sounds convincing and didn’t take notice to the pattern until later on.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get others to see my point of view by making it sound convincing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my point of view is not enough so I need others to see my point of view.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I always need others to see my point of view.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need others to see my point of view to feel good about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when asked what I thought about the movie, give a convincing point of view.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my point of view off of my assumptions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind prepare what I was going to say and how I was going to say it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up a convincing point of view when I was asked what I thought about the movie.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take notice of the pattern until later on, instead of seeing and correcting it in the moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by thinking that I need others to see my point of view I am saying that my point of view is not good enough as well as thinking that I need to be validated to feel good about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to feel a certain way in order for me to confirm to myself that my point of view is right.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself getting others to see my point of view by making it sound convincing, I stop and breathe. I realize that by thinking that I need others to see my point of view I am saying that my point of view is not go enough as well as thinking that I need to be validated to feel good about myself.

I commit myself to no longer think that I need to be validated to feel good about myself by getting others to see my point of view, but instead I will first off research the facts before giving my point of view so as to not chase a feeling and excuse it as validation.

I commit myself to no longer think that I always need others to see my point of view, but instead if asked what I thought about something, I will give my perspective and leave it at that.

I commit myself to researching so that I am able to give a self-honest perspective.

I commit myself to investigating why it is that I follow the pattern of preparing what I am going to say and how I am going to say it in my mind before I say it.

I commit myself to when and as I see this pattern come up within and as me, I stop and breathe and correct it in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer think that my point of view is not good enough, but instead research so that my perspective will have a starting point of self-honesty.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 12 Apr 2014, 01:58

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... g-present/

Day 24: Staying Present

Throughout my day I have a tendency to drift off into my mind where random thoughts keep coming up. I realize that it is because I’m not staying present here. I have taken notice to a pattern that I have of; when in a conversation with others I drift off into my mind coming up with random thoughts related to what the person is talking about but not listening to what the person is saying. Instead of staying present I end up way off track from what we are actually talking about. Then I say; “So what are we talking about again” and excuse it with; “I lost my train of thought”, but what I did was, alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift off into my mind where random thoughts keep coming up because I’m not staying present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stay present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the pattern of; when in conversation with others, I drift off into my mind coming up with random thoughts related to what the person is taking about but not listening to what is said. Instead of staying present I end up way off track from what we are actually talking about. Then say; “So what are we talking about again” and excuse it with; “I lost my train of thought”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift off into my mind coming up with random thoughts related to what the person is talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to what the person is saying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of staying present, I end up way off track from what we are actually talking about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget what we are talking about then say; “So what are we talking about again”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse it with; “I lost my train of thought”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by following the pattern of; when in conversation with others, I drift off into my mind coming up with random thoughts related to what the person is talking about but not listening to what is said, I am not staying present and accepting and allowing my mind to alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself following the pattern of; when in conversation with others, I drift off into my mind coming up with random thoughts related to what the person is talking about but not listening to what is said, I stop and breathe. I realize that by drifting off into my mind I am not staying present and accepting and allowing my mind to alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.

I commit myself to no longer drift off into my mind not listening to what is said when in a conversation with others, but instead I will listen to what is said and not accept and allow my mind to alter the conversation to suit my self-interest.

I commit myself to no longer go off track from what we are talking about, but instead I will stay on track and not accept and allow my self-interest to take me off track from what we are talking about.

I commit myself to when I forget what I’m talking about, not use the excuse off; “I lost my train off thought” when I have accepted and allowed my mind to alter the conversation to suit my self-interest, but instead I will see what I have done and take a breath to bring myself back here, focusing on what we are actually taking about.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my mind to come up with random thoughts and alter the conversation to suit my self-interest but instead I will stay present focusing on what we are actually talking about.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 14 Apr 2014, 09:17

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... tstalents/

Day 25: Gifts/Talents

I was having a conversation with someone and they brought up the gifts/talents they possessed and among them was compassion, caring, giving and sharing. Then I was asked the question of; “What are my gifts”? I took a breath and responded with the question of; “How is compassion a gift when we should already have compassion and “How is caring a gift when we should already care for others, not just our family” and “How is giving, a gift if we follow the message of Jesus which is; “Give unto others as you would like to receive”. Not expecting to receive. Then I answered the question by saying; “I was born, but what I did to life is horrific. So I’m in the process of gifting myself back life through self-forgiveness”.

When I was a child I was that, “God” gave each one seven talents and if we didn’t use them, he would take them away, so I had better make the best of them. I didn’t know whether they were skill set attribute such as being able to cut someone’s hair or mind states of being attributes such as “loving” everyone or “honesty” which to me meant that I would have to tell on myself and risk being punished. I didn’t grasp the concept; Therefore I walked throughout my life thinking that I had talents such as “singing” and being able to do “martial arts” and if I didn’t use them ”God” was going to take them away from me.

I see/realize/understand that by thinking that I was given gifts/talents, I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that the only way I can possess these gifts/talents is to receive them from “God”.

I also realize that this is a tactic that we have created in religion to keep us in search for that something greater in not realizing who I am.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that compassion is a gift from “God”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I should already have compassion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that caring is a gift from “God”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I should already care for others, not just my family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that giving is a gift from “God”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that we should already be giving if we follow the message of Jesus which is; “Give unto others as you would like to receive”. Not expecting to receive”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my entire life, what I did to life was horrific in not honoring it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my entire live not gift myself back life through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “God gave me one seven talents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I didn’t use them he (God) would take them away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that I better make the best of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be confused, because I didn’t know whether they were skill set attribute or mind states of being attributes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “God” gave me the talent of cutting someone’s hair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “God gave me the gift of “loving” everyone and “honesty” which to me meant that

I would have to tell on myself and risk being punished.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “loving” everyone is a gift.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “honesty” is a gift.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I risk being punished when being “honest”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not grasp the concept of “God” given each one seven talents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk throughout my life thinking that I had talents such as “singing” and being able to do “martial arts” and if I didn’t use them “God” was going to take them away from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “God” gave me the talent such as “singing”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I don’t use “singing” then “God will take it away from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that being able to do “martial arts” is a talent and it came from “God”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I don’t use “martial arts” then “God will take it away from me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by thinking I was given gifts/talents, I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/believe that the only way I can possess these gifts/talents is to receive them from “God”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that, this is a tactic that we have created in religion to keep us in search for that something greater, in not realizing who I am.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking that compassion is a gift from “God”, I stop and breathe. I realize that I should already have compassion. I commit myself to being compassionate to all that is life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking that caring is a gift from “God”, I stop and breathe. I realize that I should already care for others. I commit myself to caring for all that is life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself thinking that giving is a gift from “God”, I stop and breathe. I realize that I should already be giving if I follow the message of Jesus which is; “Give unto others as you would like to receive”. Not expecting to receive. I commit myself to following and living the message of Jesus of; “Give as you would like to receive”. Not expecting to receive.

I commit myself to no longer treat life horrifically, but instead I will honor life.

I commit myself to gifting myself back life through writing, self-forgiveness and corrective living.

I commit myself to no longer believe that “God” gave me seven talents, but instead understand that I have separated myself from life as who I am as the living words.

I commit myself to no longer think that “God” gave me the talent of cutting someone’s hair but understand that it’s only an acquired attribute.

I commit myself to no longer think that loving everyone and honesty is a gift from “God”, but instead I will no longer separate myself from the word love but use it in the act of being self-honest, in standing as the word love, for that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to no longer think that honesty is a gift and fear it, thinking that I am telling on myself and risk being punished, but instead realize that I have to become self-honest with myself to gift myself life.

I commit myself to, from here no further will I accept myself to allow myself to walk throughout my live in separation, thinking that I was gifted gifts/talents from “God” thinking that if I didn’t use them “he” would take them away from me. But instead I will start living the word as to that which is best for all live as I walk throughout my life

I commit myself to no longer think/perceive/believe that the only way that I can possess these gifts/talents is to receive them from “God” but instead I will live as the actual words.

I commit myself to no longer think that “God” gave me a talent such as singing. But instead I realize that it is an acquired skill set.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 16 Apr 2014, 04:01

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... game-face/

Day 26: Game Face

There is an old saying that I heard growing up that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, that meant, if I was angry, scared or frustrated don’t show it, and for the most part I didn’t. I would let everything build up inside me and not have any way to release it. Not knowing why I would have these pains throughout my body. I thought it was cool to always have my game face on. It wasn’t. The consequences came when I couldn’t hold things in any longer and blow up at the wrong times, taking things out on people verbally. To justify my actions to myself, I used karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it was in the moment. That didn’t work out either. So I’m left there stuck with all of this anger, fear and frustration inside me and continuing to add more on top of it without any way to release it. All because I wanted to be seen as someone who never let things bother me. On the surface I seemed fine, but on the inside I was a wreck. Then I found Desteni and learned how to assist and support myself by using the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to release this anger, fear and frustration that have been building up inside me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, that meant, if I was angry, scared or frustrated don’t show it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, scared and frustrated and hold it in because I wanted to keep a Game Face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let being angry, being scared and being frustrated build up inside me and not have any way to release it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know why I would have these pains throughout my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it was cool to always have my Game Face on, not realizing that it wasn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have to face consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer and blowing up at the wrong times, taking things out on people verbally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let things build up, holding them in and blowing up at the wrong times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things out on people verbally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my actions to myself, I used karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it was in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave myself stuck with all of this anger, fear and frustration inside me and continuing to add more on top of it without any way to release it. All because I wanted to be seen as someone who never let things bother me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as someone who never let things bother me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to on the surface seem fine, but on the inside I was a wreck.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by following the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat”, I am accepting and allowing anger, fear and frustration to build up inside of me that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer.



I commit myself to when and as I see myself following the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat, I stop and breathe. I realized that I am accepting and allowing anger, fear and frustration to build up inside me that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to follow the saying that goes; “Never let them see you sweat” which consist of me holding in anger, fear and frustration that would manifest pain throughout my body and consequences that would come when I couldn’t hold things in any longer but instead, whenever a situation arise I will face the situation in the moment and release it with self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to think that it’s cool to always have my game face on, but instead I will face each situation as it comes using breath in every moment to get to an outcome which is best for all.

I commit myself to no longer holding things in and blow up at the wrong times, but instead I will release things as they come in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer take things out on others verbally, but instead I will not hold things in to be built up to the point of me not being able to hold them in any longer.

I commit myself to no longer justify my actions to myself by using karma as an excuse to not have to face whatever it is in the moment, but instead I will face whatever it is in the moment.

I commit myself to no longer want to be seen as someone who never let thing bother me, but instead I will be known as taking responsibility for my actions.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 18 Apr 2014, 16:40

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... 27-continu…thout-reacting/ ‎

Day 27: Continuing Without Reacting

Right before I began my writing my friend dropped off three of his dogs and asked me to watch them for a while. He explained how his two girl dogs are in heat and the boys wouldn’t leave them alone and would not stop barking. I told him that that was fine. Since he live next door, the boys continue to go back and forth to and from the door waiting for my friend to return. Meanwhile two of the boy dogs are still young and express themselves as they do, but Instead of reacting I continued without reacting. I observed my mind wanting to use my agreeing to take care of the dogs as an excuse to not do my writing. I didn’t follow that thought.

I used to follow the pattern of reacting if I was interrupted why’ll I was doing what I had to do. If it was noise, I would get frustrated because I believed that I couldn’t “concentrate” on what I have to do, then I would get angry and start yelling at those that was making the noise. What I didn’t realize is that my lack of concentration was me resisting doing what I had to do. I see how easy it was for me to react in a spit second. It’s like my mind would lay and wait for the opportunity for me to resist doing what I have to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react if I was interrupted why’ll I was doing what I had to do.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by reacting I am accepting and allowing my mind to control me into believing that I can’t concentrate on what I had to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated because I believed that I couldn’t “concentrate” on what I had to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry and start yelling at those that was making the noise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind lay and wait for the opportunity for me resist doing what I have to do.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting, if I was interrupted why’ll I was doing what I had to do, I stop and breathe. I realize that by reacting I have accepted and allowed my mind to control me into believing that I couldn’t concentrate on what I had to do.

I commit myself to no longer wanting to and reacting if I was interrupted why’ll I was doing what I have to do, but instead I will continue doing what I have to do without reacting.

I commit myself to no longer get frustrated, but instead I will breathe and continue doing what I have to do.

I commit myself to no longer get angry and start yelling at those that are making the noise, but instead I will ask them if they could lower the noise, continuing with what I have to do without reacting.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my mind to lay and wait for the opportunity for me to resist doing what I have to do, but instead, I will breathe and push through the resistance and continue doing what I have to do without reacting.


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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 19 Apr 2014, 00:07

Thanks Andrea

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Carlton
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Joined: 15 Sep 2013, 22:52
Location: California/Nevada

Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 22 Apr 2014, 07:09

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... ul-moment/

Day 28: A Quick Spiteful Moment

I observed myself in the midst of a quick spiteful moment, which I justified by having a “valid” excuse for being spiteful. I was working with a friend on a project that he knows more about than me. He had asked me to leave something a certain way until otherwise notified. After a period of time I took it upon myself to change it. The next morning when he came in, he saw the changes I made and corrected me by telling me to not change it again until he tells me to. I said ok and walked away. Later on after work he called my phone and I didn’t answer or respond to his phone call till the next day. My justification for not answering his phone call was; In my mind I told myself, I wanted to somehow get back at him for correcting me earlier that day, so I didn’t answer his phone call. This has been my way of getting back at someone, by doing little useless things justifying it to myself as having a “valid” excuse.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify a quick spiteful moment by having a “valid” excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that no excuse is valid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow the directions that was given by a friend who knows more about the project that we are working on than me, but instead take it upon myself to make changes after a period of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk away holding something within, that made me want to get back at him for correcting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, later on after work when my friend called my phone, I didn’t answer or respond to his phone call until the next day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not answering his phone call as a valid excuse by telling myself in my mind that I wanted to somehow get back at him for correcting me earlier that day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not answer his phone call out of spite because I reacted energetically to his words earlier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react energetically with an emotion of embarrassment to his words.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/ understand that by justifying a quick spiteful moment by having a “valid” excuse, I am accepting and allowing my mind to control me into reacting energetically with an emotion of embarrassment which is me not wanting to let go of this pattern and correct myself.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself wanting to justify a quick spiteful moment by having a valid excuse, I stop and breathe. I realized that by justifying a quick spiteful moment as having a “valid” excuse, I am accepting and allowing my mind to control me into reacting energetically with an emotion of embarrassment which is me not wanting to let go of this pattern and correct myself.

I commit myself to no longer justifying a quick spiteful moment by having a “valid” excuse, but instead I will face the consequence and correct myself.

I commit myself to stopping my patterns by investigating through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application the starting point in which they derived from.

I commit myself to no longer take it upon myself to make changes when given specific directions, but instead I will stay within the parameters of the directions.

I commit myself to no longer walk away holding something within when I am corrected, but instead I will take it as a lesson to myself to ask questions before making any changes.

I commit myself to no longer justify not answering phone calls as a “valid” excuse, but instead realizing that no excuse is valid, I will stop the justifying an excuse and correct myself.

I commit myself to stopping myself from reacting to others words by not placing myself in such position of reaction.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow my mind to control me, but instead I will use breath to stop my mind.

I commit myself to making sure that I don’t go into an emotional energetic reaction of embarrassment when situations arise, but instead I will face the situation and correct myself.

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Carlton
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Re: Carlton's Journey To Life

Postby Carlton » 24 Apr 2014, 07:11

http://carltontedford.wordpress.com/201 ... fting-off/

Day 29: Drifting Off

Throughout my day, I catch myself drifting off into my mind. It’s like I’ll see something and five different thought would come up with passed memories similar to what I saw or I would hear a word and a song that has that word in it would pop up in my mind and I would start singing it. It’s fascinating how that works. I didn’t realize what I was doing until the damage was already done, seeing that I followed the thoughts around like a “merry go round” until I got dizzy per say. Another thing is if I added up all the time I spent following thoughts around in my mind, I would have a lot more time to focus on things important like, learning more about myself. I realized that I have been wasting time from getting to know myself and what’s here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drift off into my mind throughout my day, seeing something and five different thoughts would come up with passed memories similar to what I saw.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let passed memories come up within and as me when I saw something as I was going throughout my day.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to let go of passed memories and focus on what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a song pop up in my mind and start singing it when I heard a word as I was going throughout my day.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the damage I was doing to myself, by following the thoughts around like a “merry go round” until I got dizzy per say, instead of stopping the thoughts as they came up.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that if I added up all the time I spent following thoughts around in my mind, I would have a lot more time to focus on things important like, learning more about myself and what’s here.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to focus on things important like, learning more about myself and what’s here.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by following thoughts around in my mind, I am wasting time from getting to know myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time from getting to know myself.


I commit myself to when and as I see myself drifting off into my mind throughout my day, I stop and breathe, I realize that my participation in the drifter character inhibits me from remaining here and thus hinders me from being as effective as I am able to be.

I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to drift off into my mind, but instead as I see something as I'm going throughout my day, I will look at it without thinking and continue on with my day.

I commit myself to when and as a passed memory emerges as I am going throughout my day, I take a breath to bring myself back here to physical reality and continue on with my day.

I commit myself to when and as I hear a word and a song with the same word in it pops up in my mind, I stop and breathe. I realized that I am accepting and allowing myself to define words as songs in separation of and as me and thus I am hindering myself from becoming the living words that I speak.

I commit myself to no longer define words as songs, but instead I will become the living words that I speak.

I commit myself to seeing that if I added all the time I spent following thoughts around in my mind, I would have more time to focus on thing’s that’s important like, learning more about myself and what’s here.

I commit myself to making more time to focus on thing’s that’s important by no longer following thoughts around in my mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself following thoughts around in my mind, I stop and breathe. I realize that by following thoughts around in my mind, I am wasting time from getting to know myself.

I commit myself to no longer follow thoughts around in my mind, but instead I will stop the thoughts as they come up.


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