Anthony Field's Journey to Life

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AnthonyF
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Day 676 - Sticking to a plan


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay things I plan to do with nothing but EXCUSES and JUSTIFICATIONS in not doing that thing I planned to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to through breath, understand within myself whether thus there is something that is stopping me from doing what I planned, or if there is something I’d ‘rather’ do in the sense that I did not consider it at the time of planning for example.

I commit myself to PLAN within REASON so that I see that I won’t come to this situation whereas something else comes up/is more important/that I’d rather do - within this I see, realise and understand that there’s no reason for me not to consider ALL these factors so that I WILL stick to the plan.

So I commit myself to consider all things before I plan to make the plan happen.
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Day 677 - An unequal response


I have not been responding to each one equally. And I’ve seen that this is because of the relationship type that I have with one vs the other. So, as you probably guessed, if I am ‘closer’ to one compared to one who I am not as close/so close with, I respond differently. In a particular instance, I was not as willing to assist/support, or at least respond, and this above is the reason that I now see. Having said this, on this occasion, I knew that it was best to respond/assist, but I didn’t..and the thing is, the moment goes fast. So if I had breathed for example in the moment and replied/said something, then cool, success, but I didn’t, and so the moment passed. I’ve noticed this a lot actually, just generally, these moments pass quickly, so one has to be fast and act fast as breath to best act in moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use relationship-type/bond-type as the reasoning for responding to one or not and how I respond or not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that of course my relationship/bond with each will be different. There are so many factors involved. And thus to act upon that will always equate to/as separation as not treating each the exact same and not assisting/supporting and here, responding to each the exact same - just as I’d like to be treated and responded to and supported/assisted as/by.

When and as I see myself believing that I can’t act fast enough in moments, as breath, to act upon/act as what is best for all, I stop and breathe. I do see, realise and understand that all I can do is TRY here, and of course if I require more breathing and/or self-forgiveness which calls for a longer period of time, but the moment comes and goes like that and fast, then I just correct myself then/later so that this does not happen again, but if I can act and do it all in the moment, then I do. Within this, I commit myself not to judge myself for not being fast enough on my feet so to speak, in acting/responding as what is best for all in each moment - it depends on firstly how effective my breathing is/self-forgiveness is and where I am at of course in relation to the point.

I commit myself to do my best to respond as what is best for all and act as what is best for all in every single moment through my tools of breath, self-forgiveness, self-realisation and self-commitment statements.

I commit myself to support, assist and respond to all the exact same way without limitation or barriers.
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Day 678 - If it ain’t broke


Don’t fix it, right? Right lol. I’ve seen where I as the mind can come into play in a big way relating to this saying. For example, well yes, something is working as needed. No issues, none visible, no aural issues, whatever, and yet…there’s still this WANT to change it, to change how it functions or operates, change some settings for example. This can be in relation to anything, such as our human physical bodies too. Why can I not be satisfied with FUNCTION that is well, functioning as desired, as necessary, as needed? It is SELF-DOUBT as my mind. Doubting myself. Even though there’s nothing literal or substantial or actual to point in any way whatsoever to or as doubt in any way, shape or form.

Doubt doesn’t exist in reality. Why do we doubt things? We’re unsure. We’re worried. We’re scared. There should exist NO doubt whatsoever. Because proper and actual investigation into something shows us. So, back to my original point, it either works or doesn’t work. Sure, it can be expanded on or improved, but that is DIFFERENT to DOUBTING what exists and functions as per usual/needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be under the illusion of DOUBT, realising here that DOUBT only exists because I’ve not investigated and/or am not AWARE of the REALITY of a situation where I can definitely see what exists and does not exist and so I then can act upon something dependent on my investigation and/or what exists/does not exist - and so this ‘lingering’ doubt or doubts are fruitless and in no way substantial, because in reality if something is fucked up, then I’ll act upon it and fix it or improve it or change it. There is NO reason to ‘change’ something that is working well, that I see is working as best for all in a moment - this I see is a waste of my time.

When and as I see myself desiring to doubt things that are clear, that are working, that are functional, that I’ve investigated and know do not need a second glance as to ‘double check’ or ‘investigate’ further, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that if something is not working as per expected or necessary, I will act upon it and change, because why would I not? It’s not a complicated or complex method or thing to act upon. I see a need for change, and I change it therefore. There’s no lingering, there’s no in-between, I change it or I do not change it. So I commit myself to change what has to be changed. I commit myself NOT to change what does NOT need to be changed. I commit myself to ACCEPT what does NOT need to be changed.
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Day 679 - Gaming and Reality (Part 1) - Life Review follow up


When I saw that this interview was available for purchase, I was immediately interested, being a gamer myself, both now and when I was younger. It is a great interview with detailed explanations/sharing of why we become so dependent on video games, why people of all ages do. The interview also goes into how we can make sure gaming is in our lives as something that supports, something where we can use BALANCE. Highly recommended.

It is said in the interview to investigate our own relationship to gaming and also, to highlight words where gaming supports us in our lives.

Actually, what I notice when I was a kid and I first got a Super Nintendo console, I mean, lol I just remember playing it heaps. I really enjoyed it. Had plenty of different games, but man, games were tough then! In terms of the skill level required, but still fun…but also frustrating lol. I actually remember getting very annoyed a lot of the time because I would keep dying (my character). In terms of how it affected my social life/life outside of gaming, it didn’t actually. I mean, I did play quite a lot. Like after school I’d have something to eat, then play.

The issue that I see then was that it was almost ALL I did lol. Which you’d think would mean it did have an effect on my social life, but no, because the thing was that I’d still hang out with friends a lot, whether I went to their house or they came over to mine, for sleepovers etc, the thing is though, we’d spend the whole time gaming haha. So a lot of my life was gaming. It was like school, gaming, and social gaming. I definitely did enjoy overcoming challenges in the games. Even though as I said, I allowed them to get the best of me in terms of my emotions/feelings.

But looking back, it’d definitely be best to not game as much and be open to doing a greater variety of activities with myself and my friends.
Moving forward to now, I own a Playstation 4. Haven’t had it for that long actually. And I do play quite often. What I enjoy about gaming is how interactive it is. Watching a movie/something is cool too, no doubt, but watching AND manipulating a character on screen/what is happening is something I enjoy. Even though for example the story is already set (a lot of the time anyway) and I’m just moving an avatar around, I enjoy a well developed story and detailed world with many places to explore and things to do.

Now though, my relationship to gaming is much healthier. I enjoy it yes, but I do many other things too, I do enjoy hanging out with others, usually actually elsewhere from home, listening to music, watching things, learning, sport etc.

For me, gaming supports me through enjoyment, learning, growing, understanding, overcoming challenges, not giving up. So now, when a challenge comes up (despite a lot of games these days not being as difficult as back then) can still be challenging, I stop, I breathe, and I retry, and/or I’ll stop playing, do something else and next time I’ll pick it up again and have a turn. So it teaches me patience, consistency, to fight (never give up/give in).

I’ve created a balance within and as gaming and within and as my general life and other activities I do.
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Day 680 - Thought, word and deed


I initially had reservations and a sense of confusion about what this statement meant. I mean, let me rephrase..I initially had reservations and a sense of confusion about what this statement meant in the CONTEXT of the physical. What I mean by this is after and/or AS we are removing the patterns/programs we participate in as the mind. Because the thing is, to not be of the mind, is to not be of THOUGHT. So how could one live/be what is best for all in thought, word and deed when the ‘thought’ part equates already/as the mind?

This was my question, my confusion, my resistance, my reservation, because it didn’t add up to me and seemed like a contradiction thus whenever I’d see/hear “Being the best we can be in thought, word and deed.” - what I learnt is that this is simply a STEP in the JOURNEY to the physical. So, at start, we have thoughts and they are charged with energy, charged with anger, charged with hate, with joy, with happiness, with judgment etc. What’s the next step? It is the best we can be in thought, word and deed - how so?

Because after we stop our participation in these energy charged thoughts, we’ll PRACTICE and begin IMPLEMENTING our self-forgiveness etc in real time moments. Whereas the thought comes up to perhaps do something or have a thought about something, but in that moment, we breathe, we slow down, and we make sure that thought is free from energy associated in any way, shape or form. A practical thought as one assisted me to see, realise and understand with clarification. A practical thought as to do something, a task, and to then perform the necessary action in real time and the physical.

Because, and what I was missing, not seeing, realising and understanding was that this PROCESS happens in STEPS or STAGES. And how I see these steps/stages is dependent purely upon my AWARENESS. So I see I haven’t been so aware of my process of change, which is another reason this thought, word and deed as what is best for all statement did not make sense to me. Not only that, what I realised after is we are ALL and EACH at totally different stages of process. Lol, for example, obviously, the articles, the interviews - the materials generally are obviously NOT just for myself and my process and where I’m personally at - same with everyone. It’s a very broad spectrum with people possibly having no prior understanding of the Desteni material. What is best for ALL after all. Not what is best for me or one lol.

Anyway, going back a bit, with the step/stage that involves removing the energy association of the thought - then implementing this in real time moments/the physical, then we practice with having practical thoughts. What I did not see as my lack of awareness, was that I was not simply going from thoughts to no thoughts. I was in fact going from energy-associated thoughts, to practical thoughts, to physical movement (without thoughts). Physical movement without thoughts is to mean that we’re beyond that particular programming/pattern and thus we move in a moment as per what is required of us. To take out the rubbish, to clean the house, to go shopping, to play a sport, to do an assignment.

I’m very thankful for this assistance/clarification I have received generally and obviously regarding this particular point - all available within the Desteni I Process which will change your life, guaranteed - check it out!
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Day 681 - Ruthless


Okay, so the definition of this word is “having or showing no pity or compassion for others.” Example: "a ruthless manipulator".
So in this definition, I mean, it’s not so cool is it? It’s not what is best for all. It’s not kind, beneficial or appropriate. But I’ve seen AT TIMES, not this definition exactly, but this word came to mind, to be ruthless. For example, when I am driving and I’m waiting for the time when I can go into that lane or turn into that road. SOME roads are just constantly busy lol. So there’s never EXACTLY an appropriate time to go into that road/lane. But if I don’t go at some point, then I literally never go, so that doesn’t assist anyone.

And so as per the level of business/amount of cars and it not changing enough for when I’d ‘usually’ go into that lane/road, I have to compromise and just go into it when I see I ‘can’. This is where this word came up for me. Not just here, but this is an example. Even getting on trains. At some points, well peak hour times, everyone is rushing to get on the train to go home. You see people pushing against eachother to secure either a seat or just a standing position on that train. Before I would basically hang back and just sort of hope there’s space left lol, which isn’t always the case. Here the thing is usually there is a train soon after that I can easily get on because everyone crammed to get onto that train earlier. So that is fine. But I’ve at times, not done this, but been more ‘forward’ in actually getting on the train. So holding my ground type-thing.

So these are some examples where you may see why this word “Ruthless” came up within me. Sometimes you know, you have to play the game that exists, even though, and in an ideal world/society, I wouldn’t have to, but here, at times I do, like each of us.

So another word I can use here is INVOLVED. Lol, to be more involved in what is occurring so I can secure a place on the train or my place in that lane/road. Otherwise I wait forever literally or wait too long for no reason.

I commit myself to get myself INVOLVED in scenarios whereas I see that I do have to at times play the game/by the rules of society/the mind so as to get what I require/need, as all do.

I commit myself not to fear involvement as being insincere/cruel/mean/harsh, realising here that this is not my starting point and I’m not literally doing this as pushing others or causing a road accident - it’s just the way the state of play is and so I have to abide to it to an extent to participate.

When and as I see myself fearing to get myself INVOLVED, I stop and breathe. I see, realise and understand that involvement does not have to be mean, tough, harsh etc - it can be to be, to participate effectively, to benefit, which I’ve seen at times is a necessity to function effectively in society and the world as it currently sits.
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Day 682 - Getting shit done


Getting shit done is comforting. A sense of accomplishment for sure. I got home from work and did quite a few things that previously I may not have done (this is an issue) - anyway I’ll return to that soon…but getting these things done one by one effectively and efficiently is great. Making strides/progress through my own physical actions and movement. Just as I’m doing now with writing. As I mentioned, generally I only do these things effectively/efficiently here and there as opposed to consistently.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to do things I need to do consistently in my daily life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the results I achieve through this consistency of practical application/movement in changing something/myself for the best result possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not being consistent and not doing the practical stuff I need to do in totality and instead just doing bits here and there as a type of shortcut through my justifications.

I see, realise and understand that any shortcuts I desire to take are just justifications and/or excuses that I KNOW within myself self-honestly do not benefit me whatsoever, because the result is not the best, the effort is not the best, and later it only means more work for me to do, so I see that the consistency benefits me in every way, shape and form, as opposed to bits here and there as shortcuts which just culminate in more time needed where I can be doing other things I want to do.

I commit myself to be effective with the things I need to do by seeing what must be done and doing it ONE BY ONE, as opposed to in my mind, just seeing all the shit I have to do and not wanting to do it or doing it here and there. I see, realise and understand that when I put my best into Doing 1 thing at a time, that thing gets done the most effectively. I commit myself to do 1 thing and then move onto the next thing for the most impact as what is best.
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Day 683 - The chain reaction


What I find fascinating is that we’re responsible in part, in another’s reaction. Yes, though at the core, we’re each responsible for everything that comes up within us, every thought and so on, but what I mean here is that another can inflict or create or add something into another in which that person then becomes possessed by, either through what another did/said etc, and also that can be a culmination of that incident and others and/or that incident + self’s own problems - there are lots of equations, but here is an example..

If I’m an inconsiderate driver. Or even if I’m a considerate driver/safe driver, but in an instance, only one, I cut someone off, that can obviously cause anger to come up within another in which they follow and yes they allow themselves to be directed by, but see what I mean in how every action we take can affect another in SOME WAY, SHAPE OR FORM. This is very important to REMEMBER ALWAYS. That is why I see it so vital to always be what is best for all, so that we can PREVENT, at least from our own doing, what may/may not happen within another.

So back to that example, so that person gets angry, pissed off, shouts at me, then they could get a headache, sweat, that can then affect their own driving which is also dangerous, then this chain reaction/cycle can occur. And then or within this anger/as it happened, they could receive a phone call and their tone will be angry and they could hang up the phone because of their anger. OKAY, so this is just possibilities in this ONE moment. What about later, when that person gets home, because this one incident, maybe nothing or small to us, can be really fucking annoying and piss another off for a long duration.

So they get home and remember this incident and are still inflicted by it. And it shows in their communications with the family/what they do when they cook etc. And this can stay in the memory forever unless of course it is removed through self-forgiveness/realisations/commitment statements. And at another point, because of the accumulation of this incident and others, or maybe not also other incidents, that person could then hurt someone or something somehow. Do you know what I’m saying though?

What we do shapes others, even if we don’t think so at the time or don’t think so because it does not affect us at all. I want to reiterate that yes we are each responsible for what comes up within us and how we participate and what we allow to direct us, that is self-responsibility and self-honesty, but we can still cause grief, pain, suffering, anguish etc onto others through apparent small or meaningless incidents. Remember this for the benefit of others!
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Day 684 - Desteni hate


What does a Desteni hate article, website etc get out of doing so? From what I’ve read and seen in Desteni hate websites etc, the information is misleading, why, because it’s untrue, it’s false, it’s not fact, it is not backed up by evidence, by anything legitimate. So why create websites, articles in which obviously the writer has failed to investigate the material/facts, yet is writing based on from what I’ve seen at times, half-read information, or basically also forming an article based on some read information and then ideas within the writer - so these ideas, fear would be the one that stands out to me, a fear of Desteni.

People do the same though, myself included. Lol, I remember initially, even the fact that there were something like 5 Desteni hate websites to the 1 of course actual legit Desteni website, alarm bells were ringing for me and I was scared, fearful, even then I thought “Okay, this must be fake then (the Desteni legit website) and the Desteni hate material must be legit.” And I didn’t even go to these websites. But amazing how I form a conclusion or idea based on something like amounts that exist, whereas the stronger amount was the hate articles and the weaker amount was the actual Desteni website lol.

At later times, and within the same time period though, I’d check out more into these hate websites and articles and absolutely, I would fall for it. It was written well, so it must be true, right? Wrong. They seemed like they knew what they were talking about so it must be true? Nope. None of these reasons were legitimate. So what if something is well written, well structured, well formed? So what if they seemed like they knew what they were talking about, that comes down to trickery and proper wording again, structure etc - one that has written a lot before can convince easily, they can suck people in with HOW they write something, even if what is stated is far from the truth, that is what I fell for too.

I urge you all not to fall for these hate sites. They are many, but don’t let that fool you, they may be well written, but don’t let that fool you. It’s so easy to lie with words. People take on fake personalities etc online all the time. Like that Catfish tv show, where they can fool people for years, pretending they are one person, when in reality of course they are themselves lol. It’s so easy to lie, to manipulate, to mislead. I haven’t seen a SINGLE OUNCE of this within Desteni material. I’ve questioned a lot of things, and I’ve got more than appropriate answers and feedback - not only that, but extremely detailed, backed up by evidence, backed up with links, articles, materials. Yes, not EVERY SINGLE THING can be proven in an online capacity, but that is to be expected. What I know is that everything I’ve questioned has been answered and I’ve realised then. I made sense of it, because it made sense lol. And a lot of my questioning was also down to my own fears, doubts, concerns, worries, in which I failed to investigate myself.

Don’t be so quick to conclude. Be OPEN. Be willing. Be understanding. Be trying.

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Day 685 - Equality and Oneness as me


Equality and Oneness as principles are me. They are not external, they are not something to the side, they are not something I follow - they must be something I LIVE. In my very essence, in all that I do, all that I say, all that I act and act upon - put simply, in ALL and EVERYTHING.

I see that the resistance to doing so in my utmost, is compromise. Equality and Oneness isn’t a standard, which obviously we all know, otherwise we’d be living completely differently and acting completely differently towards one another. Apart from my job, a career, a source of income, nothing else is a compromise. For example, here I see if individuals dislike this about me, then that is fine, but if it’s an individual, like a boss of mine at work or similar, then that is an issue. Though, what I’ve seen in the past relating to this same point is a fear of even showing a glimpse of Equality and Oneness as me.

The starting point can NEVER be fear. So I must investigate the point to remove the fear and then act logically/as necessary, whether that means divulging a great amount of detail as Equality and Oneness or little or however much the amount may be at the appropriate times. There are, as always in everything, many factors involved that we must consider to do what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see Equality and Oneness and the principles therefore that underlie Equality and Oneness as to ‘out there’ - as too ‘wild’ - as too ‘crazy’ - as too ‘different’.

I see, realise and understand that how I STAND as Equality and Oneness principles is vital in sending a message to another, vital to showing what and who I am and what is necessary for all, for the world - I see, realise and understand that fear as my starting point here limits my expression of necessity as myself, as what is best for all, as a proposal of change of not only myself, but another, because all it takes is a spark, a light bulb flicker to resonate in another for another to change themselves.

I do see, realise and understand that I’ve still been under this fear cloud/direction and starting point as to my expression as Equality and Oneness and I’ve been doing moreso as expression of this when I see I am ‘safer’ - in the sense of doing it strictly online and so not so much/at all within physical interactions because of the fear I have of sharing Equality and Oneness as myself and so unto another.

I see, realise and understand that it’s never to go full into Equality and Oneness as myself/as sharing to another at the start/when opening up the points - it’s about sharing some here and there and to gauge a response and understanding based on the reply/actions of another. So here I see that I am not then steering clear of Equality Oneness as principles as myself and as fear, but am sharing segments here and there and when appropriate, because each one’s mind works differently and so it must be taken on an individual level.

But I do see, realise and understand that my willingness and openness in sharing, in living, in speaking, in acting as Equality and Oneness principles can be greatly improved and it will be greatly improved through removing this fear of Equality and Oneness principles as fearing what one will think of them and how one will react and respond to these principles.

I commit myself to be open about Equality and Oneness principles in ALL formats of mine, that being online, in person, at work - with no limitation as FEAR directing me and me acting upon therefore.

I see, realise and understand that there is NO TIME TO LOSE in living the principles of Equality and Oneness as myself, as expression, as sharing, as openness, because it’s up to me, just as it is all of us, to make the light bulb flicker to resonate, and if I don’t do this, then I miss out on an opportunity, as does another, because each want and require this self-change as what is best for all whether they know it now or later, so it’s to plant a seed in one, this is vital and this is what I can do and this is what I will do as what is best for all.

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