Anthony Field's Journey to Life

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 16 Oct 2017, 00:45

https://steemit.com/depend/@anthonyfiel ... -dependent

Being dependent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on something such as an activity or something to ‘do’ as my means or motivation of practical and physical movement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to move ME for ME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have enough things or variation of things/activities to do in my day to day living and/or general life.

I see, realise and understand that I must look at my life, day to day living, general life, moment to moment living self-honestly to see what it is I can change, if I want to, what things to change, what things to add, or remove and within this, even writing this, I know I can easily add more activities and can give myself things to do that I will enjoy/grow/learn from, so I see, realise and understand that in reality, there is NEVER ‘nothing’ to do or as if ‘running out of things’ to do - this is just myself as my mind failing to take a step back, breathe and see all the many things I can do or even different things I can do/learn/enjoy.

I commit myself to move me for me, so that I don’t rely or become dependent on an activity or time, where for example I do something based on how much time I have, so if I have plenty of time left before I Have to for example leave home, then I will just put off/delay moving myself effectively and instead do something that is not necessary and in fact harms my physical body/health instead of really moving, pushing, dedicating myself in that moment to effectively move FOR ME, so I commit myself to move myself no matter what the time is, no matter how much time exists before doing something, no matter what activities or things I want or have to do, so then I am just moving me for me and that way I will always be effectively moving because me is the starting point for effective movement.

http://desteni.org/



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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 21 Oct 2017, 06:09

https://steemit.com/hindsight/@anthonyf ... -hindsight

Supportive hindsight

I know when I’ve used hindsight either in regards to myself or another, I’ve always used it in a patronising/abusive way. Like, “I should have done it THIS way..you should have done it THIS way..” and wanting to ‘prove a point’ to myself or another. Especially when it came to another and wanting to show that ‘my way’ was the best way, or the right way, and making one feel as horrible as possible…I mean, shit! That is fucked up to say the least. And also here, wanting to boost my own ego as if all I do and say is ‘right’ or ‘accurate’ and believing everyone else’s idea’s, suggestion’s etc are..invalid lol.

So I was thinking how can I use hindsight to be something that is supportive, and not condescending or patronising? Because in ‘hindsight’, removing these methods of being hurtful, harmful, abusive when finding out something AFTER the decision has been made, is still an important and CAN definitely be a cool thing, no it is a cool thing, that is how we learn from mistakes, how we develop, evolve. We always fuck up and make mistakes, then we see in that moment/after/later how we can do it better next time. Same as reflection. We reflect on what we did, and learn from it. Or reviewing. Whatever you want to call it!

And within this, it is to be as SUPPORTIVE as possible. Both to myself and to another. So I would say to another, and would like to hear from another too in the same instance, a form of encouragement for example when I/one has made a mistake and to keep trying or pushing or learning to improve/get better, and then also some tips/pointers and how to do it better next time, and perhaps even reflecting on why what I/one did did not turn out as well as it could have, but the point here is it is all supportive, encouraging - and it is NOT AT ALL patronising, condescending. And so I/one don’t make myself/another ‘feel bad’ about something, a mistake, or perhaps a ‘wrong’ move.

Recommend to check out this chat also with Destonians about being blinded/controlled by guilt, and not being able to see solutions therefore: viewtopic.php?f=152&t=8398

http://desteni.org/



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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 05 Nov 2017, 09:10

https://steemit.com/novelty/@anthonyfie ... -a-novelty

It’s just a novelty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by something that is nothing more than a novelty that wears off over time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the energy of the ‘new’ the ‘uncharted territory’ the ‘new experience’ and the ‘what to expect’ types of energies/backchats that fuel the excitement of something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deluded into believing something is ‘so exceptional’ or ‘so cool’ - but the inevitable realisation days/a week or so later that I was still believing as excitement, or as hype, and so when that dissipates, I realise that new experience is in fact not so ‘cool’ or ‘exceptional’ and is either something that I still like, or something that I see is actually not something I like so much, so here thus I commit myself to always be breathing often and consistently during the lead up/build up of any new experience and also breathing during the new experience itself, as well as the afterwards of experiencing the new experience, so that I know I am seeing clearly and not being directed by a novelty that I know within me will wear thin/show me the real of the situation/’new’ experience.

http://desteni.org/



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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 11 Nov 2017, 06:15

https://steemit.com/communication/@anth ... terjection

Day 1 - Effective communication and building through self-honest interjection

I commit myself to interject effectively within communication/movement, obviously not to the point of cutting someone off as their speech/communication/movement, but as feeding off one another or multiple people whereas the most effective relationships and communications are built and become stable and steady.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to interject in a conversation as per speaking when I want to or have something to say, is rude, and I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must basically wait until the end of one’s sentence before I can open my mouth and formulate words/tones and/or actions and movements too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that interjecting will cause one to forget what they are saying and thus believe I am doing a kind thing by allowing them to finish what they are saying entirely, but I see, realise and understand that I have been waiting much too long at times whereas I don’t build, create and EXIST in the conversation, communication which does mean I see, realise and understand to get involved, get into the conversation, communication and if that means to interject a lot, then so be it, despite being mid sentence to so to speak or after a word etc. So I see, realise and understand that I’ve taken the formulation of communication, bonds and relationships that are effective, OUT of these, and in my belief, believing myself to in fact be doing the ‘what is best for all’ thing in allowing one to speak and not forget what they have to say etc, but that is just a fear of mine and also another outflow of my ‘trying to be nice’ persona which is way over the top and existing way too much, if at all, so I commit myself to stop this trying to be nice persona whereas I am ONLY limiting myself and others through not building anything effective and substantial in life.

This was as you probably read in my self-forgiveness statements above, about communication. I see that I can improve a lot on this aspect, and this is a big part of it at least, I will see what else comes up/anything else in relation to communication and even behavioural/body movements/actions etc, I’m sure there is a lot. Communication is very multi layered from what I see and there are many aspects and dimensions too it, so I’m sure I will be writing more about this. But basically this is my attempt to no longer be ‘waiting’ or not participating in conversation/communication/movements/posturing where I can create, build, feed off so much more as a type of linking off others to create something awesome.

http://desteni.org/




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