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Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 12 Aug 2014, 11:27
by AnthonyF
I commit myself to engage into a 7 year journey to life whereas I will be re-constructing myself and my life patterns in which I've accepted and allowed. I commit myself through the act of self-forgiveness and commitment statements, to reinvent myself as to be what is best for all life within equality and oneness, standing absolutely one and equal to all life within our existence.

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... rough.html

Day 255 - Memory point, breathing through mouth within asthma

So, lately I've been trying to 're-program' myself to breathe through my nose. For as long as I can remember, I've breathed through my mouth. That's what I have to do, actually..ask my mother/father, lol. They've obviously known me since birth.

I did have asthma for basically my whole life up until I was about 21. So, that could very well be the reason that I breathe through my mouth. I can get more air to my lungs through breathing through my mouth, so I may have automatically resorted to that, because I did struggle to breathe a lot as a child, and a teenager.

I saw a doctor about it today, too. He said that it could be from a number of reasons, deviated septum...other medical issues. He also said it could very well be "psychological issues" and that I could therefore sort of do-it-myself as to re-structure my breathing technique to breath through my nose. I've read a lot of articles indicating that breathing through the mouth is not healthy. Because of fumes, it can also cause facial muscles to move (such as my jaw).

So - I had a CT scan today and I got my nose scanned. I don't get the results of that until tomorrow/in a few days. So, it would be cool if it were 'psychological issues' - then I could keep applying self-forgiveness and perhaps through that, and practical application - be able to overcome my mouth-breathing.

But for now, I think that my cause/origin of my mouth-breathing could very well be because of my need to cope with my asthma. And I struggle to breathe through my nose because in my mind I'm thinking that nose-breathing 'won't work' or it 'won't be as good' as mouth-breathing - like that I'm allowing a fear of potential asthma to get to me if I choose to nose-breathe.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be influenced through my breathing technique through the memory of my reliance to breathe through my mouth because of my asthma condition in which I previously had.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the thought of "If I nose-breathe instead of mouth-breathe, then I will not be able to cope, and I'll run out of breath." - within that, I commit myself to practically guide myself and move my myself to physically breathe through my nose as often as I can, as to realise within myself and teach myself that I CAN breathe through my nose.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the memory point of asthma to dictate me in breathing through my mouth through the point of fear - fear within the unknowing of what will happen to my body, if I'll die if I choose to not breathe through my mouth - within this, I realise that I've grown accustomed to mouth-breathing so much, that it's become a habit. I commit myself to break this mouth-breathing habit since it is both unhealthy, and I have no asthma condition currently.

When and as I see myself struggling to move myself practically and physically to nose-breathe, I stop and breathe. I realise that I'm allowing myself to be held back by my mind in the backchats that I will die if I nose-breathe instead of mouth-breathe.

I commit myself to LET GO of the memory/fear within myself of relying on mouth-breathing to 'live' within asthma - I commit myself to slowly but surely guide myself within my physical body to slowly learn to nose-breathe - pushing myself, but not going overboard.

I commit myself to realise that I CAN change the way in which I breathe - I commit myself to realise that I won't be breathing through my mouth my whole life, that I can change it - I realise that just because I breathe through my mouth now, doesn't mean that I'll breathe through my mouth for the rest of my life.

I commit myself to ALWAYS be AWARE of my physical breathing, not only within stopping in the moment and breathing as I do to not participate within my conscious mind thoughts, but also to be aware in general about my breathing, to slowly breathe through my nose WITHOUT the participation in backchats that I will 'run out of breath'.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 13 Aug 2014, 05:54
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... -care.html

Day 256 - Snail care

About 5 months ago, I remember treating a snail badly. I am unsure of exactly what I did - actually no, from memory, hang on, I'm getting memories mixed up, lol. What happened was I was being overly rough with a snail and I remember that I slightly cracked a snail's shell. Originally, I was moving it from one location to the next, and I was struggling to move it, so I got a bit aggressive within myself and therefore treated the snail badly and cracked its shell slightly.

I remember feeling really bad about that for a few that night after I did that to that snail. I allowed my emotions to overcome me whereas I took out my anger on the snail. That night, I also listened to the eqafe interview - The Spirituality of the Snail - Part 1, which is free on the eqafe website.

It was an awesome interview, and that interview assisted me in appreciating the snail's way of life and so forth - along with all animals, big and small. For the way I treated this particular snail, I remember sharing some realisations that I had with my regret for the snail, and the interview - but I never wrote out self-forgiveness for this, and I am going to now.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow my emotions - anger, to overcome me and within that, be aggressive with the snail when trying to move it to a different location, and cracking its shell.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fail to treat the snail with respect, equality, oneness - as I should do, since it, along with me, along with all animals, insects - we ALL BELONG on Earth.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise at the time that the reason I struggled to move the snail/the snail didn't want to move could have been because it was getting into a defensive mode whereas it thought I was a threat to it - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see the situation of me handling the snail through the SNAIL'S point of view.

When and as I see myself failing to accept all life, big or small, as equals, I stop and breathe. I realise that every single life, no matter what species, ALL deserve an equal living opportunity to be on Earth.

When and as I see myself failing to consider the circumstances as to why the snail did not want to move (through possibly thinking I was a threat), I stop and breathe. I realise that just as I must step into the shoes of another to see things from their point of view, I also MUST step into the 'shoes' of the snail to see the situation from the snail's point of view.

I commit myself to within myself, allow each living creature, big or small, an equal opportunity to live within Earth - that is if I must 'handle' a creature as to assist it getting out of a dangerous situation/to a better environment for the species (such as moving an insect from inside of the house, to outside of the house).

I commit myself to treat each and every animal/insect with the care that it deserves, since it has JUST as much right to survive/live on this Earth as I do myself.

I commit myself to not allow my TEMPORARY anger reaction emotion to manifest within my unconscious mind whereas I don't treat LIFE with respect and care - I commit myself to STOP, BREATHE to bring myself back to my physical being as I am here in the world - along with the life that I am assisting, one and equal.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 14 Aug 2014, 14:39
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... -blog.html

Day 257 - Too tired to blog

It's 10:20 pm, I'm so tired. Usually I blog at about 7 pm, but I decided to watch the news instead. Then I went on Skype after that. But I was putting off blogging. I came to this page earlier, at about 7:40 pm, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. But I was rushing things. I had other things that I had to do, too, and I was focused on doing them. Then I just decided to go on Skype because I told someone I'd be on Skype tonight.

Blogging daily is really important for my self-change, I know this. I've tested this. If I go days, even one day without blogging, I 'feel' it - it's like I've gone off path, I've gone astray. Which is true. A straight path is a consistent path, and a consistent path is a straight path, a daily path. So, not taking into account days that I can't blog for REAL reasons, I want to blog daily, and tiredness is certainly no excuse to not blog.

And as always, it all started with ME. I struggled to get out of bed this morning - I gave into that 'let's fall back to sleep' backchat.

But I'm writing now. I almost went to sleep without writing, but I'm pushing myself as my physical self to write/not participating in my mind's desires of me to sleep and ignore my daily writing - my daily writing is my process of being and my process of change - I won't go astray.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of tiredness to ignore my blogging.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not look at the original reason as to why I'm so tired in the first place - that being me giving into my mind's desires/wants/backchats to fall asleep again.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to in the past, go astray from my course of consistent daily blogging - not realising that daily blogging is what I need to truly change.

When and as I see myself using tiredness as an excuse to not write, I stop and breathe. I realise that it was MYSELF who allowed the backchats within my mind to take place in my unconscious mind through falling back to sleep again in the first place.

I commit myself to not allow excuses of tiredness within myself.

I commit myself to blog daily, unless having a necessary/valid reason to not blog.

I commit myself to realise/understand the self-change within DAILY blogging/consistent blogging.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my state of tiredness in which I've accepted and allowed myself to become.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 14 Aug 2014, 22:43
by Carrie
Cool Anthony.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 15 Aug 2014, 06:37
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... while.html

Day 258 - Musical distractions while writing - anger

During my previous blog-writing, I was feeling very tired within myself - and coupled with my housemate playing rather loud music, I was having trouble concentrating and I was angry at my housemate for playing music so loudly.

I realise that I should have remained within my physical self/calm, and politely asked my housemate to lower the music down if possible. But I didn't do so, I ended up writing within anger last night/within my previous blog.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react in anger through a distraction of loud music being played while I was attempting to write my blog.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hear the loud music that my housemate was playing, and look at the situation as him playing loud music on purpose to put me into a state of anger.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that my housemate purposely does 'loud' things to distract me/anger me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stay within my physical body as I am here, and calmly ask my housemate if he could turn down the volume a little - as I could hear the music very clearly from within the confines of my room while writing.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not stop and breathe within the moment of anger reaction within myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to continue writing through a state of anger whereas I just wanted to finish writing asap so that I could go to sleep.

When and as I see myself reacting in anger when being distracted by a housemate, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must stop in the moment, breathe within my physical self as me, and request that my housemate lower/turn off the distraction.

I commit myself to always remain within my physical self, my physical body - as to not react within anger which gets me absolutely nowhere except into a state of mind whereas I can't focus on anything and rush my writings and just want to sleep - realising that sleep is the EASY way out of a situation where I find myself angry/tired/not being able to deal with any more distractions.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 16 Aug 2014, 03:54
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... klift.html

Day 259 - Fear of using forklift

Although I may not run 'into' fear as soon as I had previously before deciding to write about this, it is a fear I have nonetheless.

So, I've been job searching, and I applied for a warehouse job. Things like packing trucks, unpacking trucks, moving boxes, things like that. I was going to do a course so that I could increase my chances of getting a job in this industry, but I can't do the course because it is a government funded course and only 2 are allowed to be started per year - I've already reached my limit.

Anyway, I spoke to someone who suggested that I do this course to increase my chances of landing this warehouse job, and this person also said that if I were to obtain my forklift license, that would increase my chances of landing this warehouse job even more. At the time, I said "Yeah, sure!" I really wanted a job/the warehouse job, so I said I'd certainly be willing to get a forklift license as well as complete the warehouse general course.

But after the interview, and well, even when this person asked me whether I'd want to get my forklift license, I had all these backchats within myself of "It's going to be too difficult for me to drive a forklift - I'm not good enough to drive a forklift." And "Driving a forklift is a LOT of responsibility, I might accidentally kill someone with it." Backchats like that. I didn't have time to stop and breathe, I was in an interview and got asked on the spot whether I'd be willing to undertake training for this forklift license.

So - this is like a fear of taking responsibility within the operation of the forklift. Me preferring to do the 'easier' work, as opposed to the forklift-work.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear using a forklift.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed backchats of "It's going to be too difficult for me to drive a forklift - I'm not good enough to drive a forklift." And "Driving a forklift is a LOT of responsibility, I might accidentally kill someone with it."

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that I'd be trained extremely thoroughly to operate the forklift - not realising within myself that I'd never be allowed, and within reason, to operate the forklift without being properly trained as to how it functions, how to stop accidents, things like this.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear using a forklift because it's a 'new' item of machinery in which I've never used before and never had thought I'd use before.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not consider my physical body learning to operate the forklift - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within the backchats of 'negativity' whereas I see all the 'bad' things that could happen if I were to operate the forklift.

I commit myself to not participate within the backchats of my mind whereas I see myself killing people accidentally, and the forklift being too difficult to drive - I stop and breathe, I realise that within my physical body, I am alert and HERE - as to not be focused on what COULD happen.

When and as I see myself fearing to learn how to operate a forklift, I stop and breathe. I realise that the backchats within myself are not REAL/necessary, I realise that they are mind fears in which I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within.

When and as I see myself not realising that my physical body as I am here is all I need to learn/operate the forklift, I stop and breathe. I realise that within my physical body, I will take on all the information as to how to operate the forklift - and within this, I commit myself to STOP and BREATHE in the moment that conscious mind thoughts start appearing within myself that I will mess up the operating of the forklift.

I commit myself to learn/operate the forklift within and only in my physical body as I am here - I commit myself to not particpate in the thoughts of what may happen if I were to operate the forklift - realising that these are mind based fears only.

I commit myself to realise within my physical body that I can learn to do ANYTHING, and realise that the ONLY thing that is stopping me from potentially learning how to operate the forklift is my MIND.

I commit myself to not see the operation of a forklift as an impossible/difficult task that I could not possibly perform/am not good enough to perform - again realising that these are fears which originated in my mind in which I've accepted and allowed myself to listen to, hence my physical reactions within my unconscious mind.

I commit myself to NOT give up on my PHYSICAL SELF - as I am only that, my physical self and body. I commit myself to realise that I must physically/practically ACT along with my self-forgiveness/commitment statements so that I can SEE physical change within myself and know/realise/understand that I CAN operate a forklift.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 17 Aug 2014, 06:40
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... e-for.html

Day 260 - Fear of meeting someone for the first time

I'm writing this AFTER I met this person (yesterday). I was hesitant to meet this person. I was hesitant because I allowed myself to THINK that I have to be THIS person, this ideal, this ideal person so that this person that I meet likes me. I thought that I had to meet expectations of this person. All of those types of thoughts running within my mind.

But I realise now that I didn't have to be ANYONE. I didn't have to be a person that someone will like. I'm not going to frame myself so that people like me. I will stay true to myself, within my physical self as me. If I go around trying to meet everyone's expectations, then who am I really? I'm not myself. I'm just a picture, an ideal that is trying to meet other's expectations. If I'm not being myself, then I'm not being me. And I don't want to be 'other' people. I only want to be MYSELF.

I used to do this A LOT. And I suspect many other people do this to, whereas depending on the person in question, one will act a certain way. For example, if it's one's mother, they may act with kindness, caring type of personality. Whereas if it's one's girlfriend, they may act like a 'bad boy' lol, whereas they take risks, they smoke perhaps, do dangerous things, as to please the girlfriend. Those are two types of people. The mother wouldn't know about that risky person, only the girlfriend knows. I don't want to be like this. I want to be ONE person that acts the SAME to EACH person, to each life, to each living creature - to everything and everyone - EQUALLY.

That is how expectations are created in the first place. If I'm acting like a risky person towards my girlfriend to 'please' her, then she's going to expect that all the time from me. So basically, if I'm not myself (the caring, kind person who in actuality takes no risks) and if I am instead acting as this risky person in attempts to please a girlfriend - and THEN I suddenly don't want to be that 'risky' person anymore, then she will most likely be disappointed, the girlfriend, disappointed that I'm not the ideal/the expectation of what she wanted me to be.

Bringing this back to my current blog/situation, I was meeting my friend's friend for the first time. And towards my friend, I've re-enacted all types of personalities, all types of behaviours - depending on my mood, my reactions, my emotions, my feelings. Since I am acting depending on these things, I am NOT stable. A stable person is a person who does not have reactions, mood changes, emotions, feelings. Those all change a person, and change a person's personality.

So, I was unsure as to what my friend had spoken of me towards this person that I was going to meet. Did my friend say that I was kind? Moody? Cool? Perhaps my friend in fact indicated that it was dependent on my mood, as she has picked up on these behaviours over the course of our friendship. So basically, whatever my friend was saying in regards to how I am - I was trying to BE that. I was trying to 'fit into' this mold. But who in fact created this mold in the first place? I did, of course. What is the point of throwing all of my power to this person that I'm going to meet whereas I'm trying to do ALL I can to please them?

If I'm not pleasing myself, then I don't want to please anyone. I am only me. I don't have to fit into any type of mold in which I created towards myself. I only must be myself. Remembering of course that I'm NOT emotions, I'm NOT feelings, I'm NOT reactions. I'm none of those. I'm simply a physical body within myself, one and equal to each and every life. Not aiming to please anyone.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear meeting someone for the first time.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fit into a certain 'mold' whereas depending on what my friend said to this person I was about to meet, that I must fit into a certain category depending on what she said to this person I was about to meet, about me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to PLEASE this person I was about to meet by NOT in fact being myself, and instead being a person that I am NOT really, a person who is not true to themselves, a person with the only fixation of pleasing another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to fit into a certain personality before meeting this person for the first time.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attempt to meet all of these expectations in which I'VE created within myself - also realising that within all of these expectations in which I've created, I've allowed the burden of MORE fear to overcome me through originating all of these expectations of how I should act, how I should be, towards this person.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not be my true self, my physical being within my physical body HERE - I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to overcomplicate the situation of meeting someone for the first time by participating within my mind whereas I attempt to meet all these expectations, molds, personality-types.

When and as I see myself fearing to meet someone for the first time based on the personality-type, the mold, or the expectations in which I've accepted and allowed, I stop and breathe. I realise that I DON'T have to fit ANY of these personality-types, molds or expectations.

When and as I see myself LYING to myself within attempting to fit into something that is NOT truly ME, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must STOP in the moment and bring it back to SELF, as to walk each step within myself within SELF-HONESTY, walking, talking and meeting this new person/any person within self-honesty, as to NOT lie to myself, or lie to the person that I'm meeting, and also to not allow a bunch of definitions of myself to be created and thus a person expecting certain behaviours/ways of the way in which I communicate with that person.

I commit myself to stay HERE within my physical body when meeting someone for the first time.

I commit myself to NOT attempt or fit into a personality-type, mold or expectation in which I've accepted and allowed to be created within myself and thus show that self-created person through my physical body and my unconscious mind whereas I am trying to please another/meet another's expectations of how they want/should see me as a person/individual.

I commit myself to NOT participate within self-created fear of trying to be someone that I am in actuality NOT - I commit myself to be ONE person, not multiple personality-types, I commit myself to therefore not participate within my mind's wants of me to be a particular person when meeting someone for the first time. I commit myself to meet NO expectations, I commit myself to NOT meet my mind's expectations of the person in which I've accepted and allowed to be created within my mind, a personality-type/mold.

I commit myself to literally be the ONE AND ONLY directive principle within my self as me - and within that, NOT allowing my mind to dictate/walk my path/create my fears within meeting someone for the first time.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 19 Aug 2014, 11:55
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... ation.html

Day 262 - Forgetting vital information

This information wasn't necessarily vital within the circumstances that I used/did not use it, but it could be vital if I were in different circumstances. So, I was checking out how to get from one place to another on a website similar to Google Maps, and I totally forgot my street number. It was bizarre. And even just now, I struggled to remember my street number. I thought it up just now to test myself. I had to check where I knew I had it listed to make sure I knew of the number.

Earlier when I first needed to write down my street number, I did have a lot on my mind..so I'm guessing that's why I struggled to originally remember my street number. But right now, I don't have anything on my mind, I'm not participating within my conscious/subconscious/unconscious minds. I think it's because I've left off from where I was earlier whereas I was in a state of unknowing-ness when it came to attempting to remember my street number.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be so caught up within my subconscious mind, that I totally forgot my street number when I needed to list it.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to view the act of stopping and breathing as a CHORE - within that, I realise that I've accepted and allowed myself to overlook the whole POINT of STOPPING and BREATHING to then bring myself BACK to my physical self as for me to NOT participate within my mind/backchats.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not give much effort into stopping and breathing within myself - realising that I must put effort into stopping and breathing if I want to truly step outside and outside of participation within my mind, and then to stay in my physical body here.

When and as I see myself being too caught up within my subconscious mind and then feeling like the act of stopping and breathing is not worth it/not helpful to me, I STOP AND BREATHE. I realise that I MUST stop and breathe, otherwise I'll be constantly floating around within my backchats and I WILL forget things, I'll forget my street number, and whatever else - because I'm too busy listening to my backchats within myself and can't possibly focus on real physical things/knowledge/know how such as my street number of where I live - physically.

I commit myself to not see the act of stopping and breathing to bring myself back to my physical self as a waste of time/pointless.

I commit myself to thus put EFFORT and consideration into my STOPPING and BREATHING act - realising that the more effort I put into it, the better the outcome for me - the less participation within my backchats, and the more I step outside of my mind and into my physical self as I am here.

I commit myself to realise within myself that the act of stopping and breathing with PURPOSE would have prevented me from forgetting my street number in that moment - as I wouldn't be focused on my constant backchats within my subconscious mind.

I commit myself to see the act of stopping and breathing as VITAL - as it IS vital, it's vital to my point of CHANGE within myself, it's vital to me stepping OUT of my mind/not participating within my mind and therefore being HERE in my physical self and to thus focus on the physical things, NOT the backchats within my mind.

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 20 Aug 2014, 05:17
by AnthonyF
http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... ithin.html

Day 263 - Too hard on myself within missteps within my process

Not as often lately, but certainly earlier in my process, I've made a few missteps. For instance, I'd write about something, yet I'd still physically not 'obey' my writings. Over time I learnt to deal with most things that I wrote within my physical self, but within my personal process, it's taken me one or two missteps during some points which I've had to learn from to finally change within my physical self on certain points. It just depends on the point at hand. Some points that I've written about have been easy to dissect/write about and therefore change practically/within my physical self - whereas others are more difficult, they perhaps require more through writing, they require more concentration to walk through practically.

Yesterday I had one of these missteps. A point I was trying to get past, yet it 'came back' to me. And I gave into it and felt like shit. I didn't feel like myself. I've noticed that - like, lately, it's quite easy to know when my mind is walking myself, or I AM walking myself - physically. It's cool to know that, because then I know for sure whether I must stop and breathe to bring myself out of my mind - or if I don't necessarily need to stop and breathe, and can therefore continue on with my day.

But back on yesterday, I was struggling with a point. And I've noticed that a chain-reaction happens on certain points. Usually it's like..well this point in particular, I reacted with depression/sadness. And because of that reaction, I manifest other points that I thought I was 'past' because of the one point in which I accepted and allowed to overcome myself.

So it's like one point turns to two points, turns to three points and so on. That's why it's important for me to STOP when that one/original points comes up within myself - and I practically walk out of it. Otherwise, it'll lead to a multitude of other points that I SHOULD have gotten over/not participated in already.

But anyway, because of this chain-reaction, I was frustrated with myself. Because it's like "Fucking Hell, I've written about these points, yet I'm still manifesting them within my physical body." And I feel like, I've come all this way within my process and within my writings, and I've made several missteps. It sucks. But it's of course all down to myself - it's all down to how I react/don't react, how I deal with it, my participation/lack of participation within my mind - the staying of within my physical body - it's all down to me.

But sometimes I feel like.."daaaaaamn, maybe I should restart my process all over again." But I know that I don't actually have to do that. Just because of a misstep, I don't see it as necessary to for instance undertake the DIP Lite course again, or go back to 'Day 1' within my writings. I'm sure that each Destonian has slight missteps or large missteps during the course of their process. It's not like it's impossible to make missteps/mistakes during writings - they still happen. It's a process, it's NOT an easy process. It takes time, effort, and focus.

I don't know what I exactly I thought I was getting into when I first 'got into' Desteni. I thought it sounded really cool, so I checked it out. It IS cool. But did I think to myself whether it was going to be easy or hard? No, I didn't. All I knew was that it sounded legitimate and cool. And yes, within it all, I've SEEN practical and physical change. It's not like I've gone this far without noticing a single change within myself/how I act towards myself/others. There are massive changes/multiple changes - but I've BARELY started my process. I used to always be like..wanting to finish things asap. Like, if I had my way, I'd want to finish my Desteni process within a few weeks, lol.

But..I understand that it's a 7 year process, a 7 year long journey. I'm only Day 263 in. But the day doesn't matter, it's about the effort and the specificity that I put into each writing. I can't just write a sentence each day and be like "Wooooooo, success!" it doesn't work like that. It requires genuine practical effort - otherwise one gets absolutely nowhere.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come..

Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Posted: 20 Aug 2014, 10:24
by Michelle
Cool self-honest writings and insight!

But..I understand that it's a 7 year process, a 7 year long journey. I'm only Day 263 in. But the day doesn't matter, it's about the effort and the specificity that I put into each writing. I can't just write a sentence each day and be like "Wooooooo, success!" it doesn't work like that. It requires genuine practical effort - otherwise one gets absolutely nowhere.


Yes, I agree with you, walking this process does require genuine practical effort. I made the mistake in the past writing my blogs just to feel a sense of accomplishment instead of realizing the whole point of writing/blogging is to assist me in seeing who/how I exist and then the process of SF and SCS, which is new and not pre-programmed in our lives, but this is the only way for us to change to actually live in this physical reality best for oneself and all life.