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Day 631 - Being me, myself and I.
It's so easy to stray..to become this and that character, or that and this personality. It's not easy..YET I'm saying..for me anyway, to remain as one, as the only that I am, the one and only as the physical. That is all I am and that is all you are. The FUNNY one, the CONFIDENT one, the SHY one etc, they are just programs that we've accepted and allowed within us. They are not us when we remove these patterns through self-forgiveness.
It's very fascinating in fact to realise that we are not these things, because look at us, all we are is our physical bodies. The bones, the inner organs, skin, teeth, hair (or not lol), arms, legs. We are all the same, but obviously are 'very' different in what we've accepted and allowed. And it's been this way for so fucking long that we simply know no better, and this reasoning that these are patterns seems bizarre, because of the depth that we're ingrained into these characters, beliefs, ways.
This is a very long process to get BACK to what we were meant to be and all we are. It is super duper satisfying though. And I don't ever want to go back to being a character. A character that suits others, a character that lies/manipulates, a character that is fearful, whatever the character may be, because why..lol. Why would I not want to move in this world without anything directing me, without being this and that character dependent on myself generally or a situation or a person? And that always takes a lot of resources as the physical body, and a lot of strain on it. A lot of implications.
Because it's not what our physical bodies require. It is separation, and so of course it has consequences on our physical body. We are not here with it. We are all up in our minds, in characters/personalities/fantasies. That is why we're not aware, not here, not ALIVE, not EQUAL to ourselves and all.
If you take a moment, take a breath, this shit lol, it really is NOT rocket science, not at all in fact. How does it NOT make sense? It's different, but it makes sense, no? Tell me it doesn't make sense, because I don't understand how it can not make sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as characters/personalities/designs/patterns as opposed to all I am as the flesh as the physical here.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand the STRAIN, the PAIN, the STRESS, the IMPLICATIONS and the CONSEQUENCES that I have accepted and allowed to impact my physical body through constantly and continuously participating and switching between this and that character, this and that personality where I have literally killed my physical body through pain, stress, injury - though here realising that it is not too late to forgive myself because it is never too late to forgive myself for the shit I've caused my physical body and I can get it back to optimum health through not existing as anything and instead simply BEING.
Thus I commit myself to stop existing as the bullshit and instead be, because that is how I was born and that is all I was and thus all I should be, as opposed to being a character as how I grew up, or being a character as who I socalised with, or being a character based on my environment, whatever it may or may not have been that made me who I was as a character/personality in the past.