Anthony Field's Journey to Life

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 21 Aug 2014, 12:08

Michelle wrote:Cool self-honest writings and insight!

But..I understand that it's a 7 year process, a 7 year long journey. I'm only Day 263 in. But the day doesn't matter, it's about the effort and the specificity that I put into each writing. I can't just write a sentence each day and be like "Wooooooo, success!" it doesn't work like that. It requires genuine practical effort - otherwise one gets absolutely nowhere.


Yes, I agree with you, walking this process does require genuine practical effort. I made the mistake in the past writing my blogs just to feel a sense of accomplishment instead of realizing the whole point of writing/blogging is to assist me in seeing who/how I exist and then the process of SF and SCS, which is new and not pre-programmed in our lives, but this is the only way for us to change to actually live in this physical reality best for oneself and all life.


Cool. Thanks, Michelle!
I've done the exact same when just desiring that 'accomplished' feeling.

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... yself.html

Day 264 - Part 2, Too hard on myself within missteps within my process

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be too hard on myself when missteps occur within my process/physical embodiment within my writings.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see that I must 'restart' my process or do things that I've already done, just because I made a misstep despite writing out a point - realising within myself that some points take MORE to get past, whether it's more thorough writing, or more effort within my physical self as to not participate in the said point.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to HATE myself for 'misstepping' within my process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect my physical self to act out my writings through only writing and not practically/physically changing myself on account of my writings.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see my process and think that my process should be simple/easy, without ANY drawbacks. Within this, I realise that points within myself open up constantly because I am now AWARE as to the reactions within myself, the emotions/feelings, and the moments of when my mind is dictating my direction within my life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect no 'hurdles' within my process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to allow ONE point to manifest within myself, and from there - self-create a chain reaction within myself as I then 'seek' other points to manifest - realising that if I had STOPPED that first/original point from manifesting, then I'd not end up creating a chain reaction of points within manifestation.

When and as I see myself being too hard on myself as I misstep during my process, I stop and breathe. I realise that missteps, while not necessarily 'apart' of my process, they can still occur depending on the point at hand, and I commit myself to therefore instead of seeing a misstep is a 'fuck up' within my process, to instead see a misstep as an opportunity to LEARN from it, to CHANGE within it, to RECTIFY it, and to WRITE about it more thoroughly and put more EFFORT into LIVING the words in which I wrote down regarding the point within my physical self, practically.

Commitment statements next..

Marlen
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby Marlen » 21 Aug 2014, 18:01

Cool Anthony, 'mistakes' are really the ways in which we directly learn to see what works/what doesn't work, so it's just like taking the wrong 'exit' in a highway, you can only go back to the same point and then ensure you make the right exit once that you've seen/realized that wasn't the one you were supposed to use. It's a practical process so it's not a good/bad situation, but merely experiential in nature so that we can learn from it, so, cool for your self support on this.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 22 Aug 2014, 05:05

Marlen wrote:Cool Anthony, 'mistakes' are really the ways in which we directly learn to see what works/what doesn't work, so it's just like taking the wrong 'exit' in a highway, you can only go back to the same point and then ensure you make the right exit once that you've seen/realized that wasn't the one you were supposed to use. It's a practical process so it's not a good/bad situation, but merely experiential in nature so that we can learn from it, so, cool for your self support on this.


Cool! Thanks, Marlen.
That's a cool way to put it - about taking the wrong 'exit' in a highway and to ensure that the right exit is made thereafterwards, cool.

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... yself.html

Day 265 - Part 3, Too hard on myself within missteps within my process

I commit myself to not see a misstep as a failure on my behalf, but to see it as a learning experience in which I realise, and then change my approach to the point depending on what I must do as to not participate in the reactions in relation to the point at hand.

I commit myself to not see the reasoning of myself having to 'restart' my process on account of making a misstep within my process as I write about something, yet still physically manifest it within myself.

I commit myself to put in the necessary effort/requirements as to change myself physically/practically as to realise the words in which I wrote and live the words that I wrote in order to change myself and not manifest the points that I've already written about within self-forgiveness and commitment statements.

Within this all, I commit myself to not attempt to 'fit in' my writings ALL into a single blog/single day - realising that the multiple-dimensional points in which I encounter, they require ADDITIONAL days to 'break'.

I commit myself to take the time to dissect points, even if it takes me days, weeks, realising that the more that I write about a point in terms of being as thorough as I can be, the LESS likely that I will encounter a misstep within my process in the first place - and therefore avoid a chain reaction of events of manifesting multiple points - I commit myself to take one point at a time, over as many days as it takes, until I am FREE from the point and therefore do NOT need/or manifest the point within my physical reality.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 24 Aug 2014, 12:07

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... agers.html

Day 266 – Intimidated by school teenagers, memory of major shyness when school teenager

What I’ve noticed within myself is a reaction of shyness emerging within me when in the vicinity of school teenagers. And I also realise that it is a triggered memory within myself of when I was myself a school teenager, I had a major shyness in my schooling years. Even in primary school. So when I think about it/realise it now, it’s that my whole schooling years, I was majorly shy around other school-goers.

I was on the train with school teenagers. I overheard them, they were about 17, or one of them was. Well, there were a lot of school teenagers on the train and school children in general because I caught the train just as all/most of the school students finished school. And I was standing on the train, and there was a group of about 3 school students, the 17 year olds, and I felt this shyness coming up within myself. I didn’t know them, nor did they know me, yet I felt shyness, I felt shy.

But I realised that when I was a student, I was always shy amongst other students. Fears including “What will they think of me?” “Will they like me?” Those sorts of backchats within myself as a student. Lol, and I realised back then, the more ‘awkward’ I acted around students, the more awkward I physically was. I was so caught up in trying to act ‘natural’ with the other students when I myself was a student, that I ended up displaying an awkward character because I was visibly hesitant, shy.

So that’s a definite, the more that I thought about and tried to be someone ‘natural’, the worse it became for me. Those situations, social situations, they don’t require constant thinking to be ‘natural’. Naturalness should be just that – NATURAL. Being natural doesn’t require backchats, constant overthinking, things of that nature. It requires one/me to be myself – which as I know as of now, is a physical body which does NOT require all of the backchats in which I accepted and allowed at that time as a student.

What I noticed in school, is that there are all these ‘labels’. There were the ‘cool’ kids, the ‘nerds’, the ‘rebels’, lol, and so on. Oh, and they ‘quiet’ group, I suppose. I was in that group, although there were some ‘not so quiet’ people in my group. But now that I look back at the situation, I started meeting a bunch of new people, so there were no more groups. I had individual friends that I hung out with.

But when it came to unfamiliar groups of students, or student groups that I did not know as well or was as close to, that is when my shy character/personality emerged. Even now/these days, I’ve noticed that I prefer it when socialising with one other person, as opposed to groups of people. So – the groups of people was the trigger towards my major shyness character in which I accepted and allowed.


Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come..

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... chool.html

Day 267 – Part 2 Intimidated by school teenagers, memory of major shyness when school teenager

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the trigger memory to relive within myself when and as I am in the vicinity of school students.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within the triggered memory of being shy when around school students, and thus allowing myself to act shy in the present when around school students.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hang onto, and fail to let go of the memory of shyness consuming my physical self and my mind when and as I am in the vicinity of school students.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not move on within myself and move within the memory of me reacting within a shyness reaction when around school students.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the backchats within myself when I was a school student were that other school students will not like me, and me fearing how they will perceive me as an individual/student.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to allow the fearful memory within myself within the reasoning of how other students will perceive me/what they thought of me as a student.

When and as I see myself participating and allowing the trigger memory within myself of fearing being in the vicinity of school students when I am around school students in present, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must LET GO and NOT participate within the memory of me being a shy school student when around other school students – I realise that person that I was back then was directed solely by my own mind, whereas in present and my current body, I am the directive principle within myself and do not participate within the energetic desires in which my mind attempts to control me.

I commit myself to not participate and allow the trigger memory within myself when I am around other school students.

I commit myself to not participate within the energies/backchats coming up within myself when in the vicinity of school students.

I commit myself to see school students just as I see anyone/anything else – my equal, in oneness and equality.

I commit myself to not feel intimated by school students within the accepted and allowed trigger memory within myself of being a shy character/personality when and as I interacted with other school students as a school student myself.

I commit myself to realise that within my present being as myself here, I am no longer influenced and controlled and deceived by my mind and the reactions/energies/feelings that come along with the participation in which I have accepted and allowed myself to partake in.

I commit myself to move on and within that, not participate within the memory/fear of being a school student and feeling shy when around other school students.

I commit myself to not view school students as ‘mean-spirited’ people, or see them as intimidating characters that ‘do not like’ me – I realise that those are backchats in which I’ve accepted and allowed to take place within my mind and thus manifest a ‘shy’ character physically when in the vicinity of school students, as well as allowing the trigger memory of me being a shy school student when in the vicinity of other school students.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 25 Aug 2014, 08:03

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... njury.html

Day 268 - Fear of bike riding, bike injury memory

I guess I've known of this fear within myself for a while now. But I've not faced it until now. The only time I ever consider riding my bike is when my father asks me if I'd like to. I don't have my own bike after all. Hmm, I'm not exactly sure how long ago it was, but about..7 years ago, I had an accident while I was riding my bike with my father on a bike/walking track near his house. What happened was, I was going downhill, not very fast, but my shoelace got caught in the spokes or something and it halted my speed and I front flipped over the front side of the handlebars.

It happened so fast. I was feeling really dizzy at the time, and really ill. I thought my arm was broken, but it was only fractured. And I had a large gash on my right ankle. I still have scars there to this day from the stitches that were put into my ankle. Yes..that is another thing that makes me fear riding my bike, when I see my scars on my ankle. I immediately think to myself "Fuck, that was a painful experience when I got that gash on my ankle." And sometimes I fear re-opening the gash through perhaps again having an accident while riding my bike.

So, I've basically avoided riding any bike whatsoever for about.....5 years. I can't remember if I rode my bike soon after the accident, probably not. I remember I couldn't do much for a few months because my arm was in a cast. No, So it's more like since that accident, I haven't rode my bike or any bike for that matter. All because of this memory within myself of injuring my ankle/arm whilst riding my bike within an accident occurring thereafter.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear to ride a bike.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see the scars on my ankle from the gash that I got when riding my bike, and within that, participating within the memory of when and how I GOT that gash on my ankle, and within that, also going into a 'painful' experience within myself when I feel the pain of the gash since I am participating within the memory and looking back at how the accident occurred.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear riding my bike because of myself allowing myself to enter into the memory of the 'painful' experience that I had when I injured myself by accident while riding my bike.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fear re-opening the gash where my stitches are, and thinking that if I go bike riding again, I'll most likely re-open the gash and have to get additional stitches/more treatment, from the starting point of pain firstly, and fearing myself having to experience that pain again if I were to have another accident while riding my bike.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not participate within the memory of injuring myself while riding my bike, and instead learn from the experience as that I must make sure my shoe laces are tied correctly and not going to get caught up in the spokes of the bike and thus cause another accident to happen.

I commit myself to see the situation as a learning experience, whereas I now know not to have protruding shoe laces or shoe laces that are too long and thus will interfere with the spokes on my bike if I am riding my bike and get myself into an accident/injury-sort of situation.

When and as I see myself fearing to ride a bike, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must NOT participate within the backchats within myself and the trigger memory within myself of when I injured myself by accident through failing to look at safety procedures correctly in terms of tying my shoe laces correctly/making sure that my shoe laces don't come undone and interfere with my bike-riding.

When and as I see myself seeing the scars on my ankle and immediately participating within the trigger memory of when and how I got those stitches/scars in the first place, I stop and breathe. I realise that I must not see the scars as a FEAR, but see them instead as a failure on my behalf when I didn't take necessary precautions when I was younger and thus fell off my bike, injuring myself. I commit myself to NOT be/become attached to the scars on my ankle in a fearful way, realising that if I do that, then I'm allowing myself to be directed by my scars - within that, I'll be constantly living within a fear of re-opening the scars/riding my bike.

I commit myself to realise, see and understand that it was only because of ONE reason theoretically that I had the accident in the first place - through failing to realise that my shoe laces were undone - and within that, taking necessary actions when riding a bike in future through making sure that my shoe laces are shorter/won't come undone/not wearing shoe laces at all - and thus prevent myself from having another accident through shoe laces being caught in the spokes when and as I am riding my bike.

I commit myself to when and as I next ride my bike again, to NOT ride my bike within a fear program in which I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in - I realise that if I am riding within fear, then I will be CONSTANTLY expecting myself to fall over and injure myself again - thus I commit myself to not ride within a fear program within myself, I commit myself to stop and breathe to bring myself back here and where I can then ride my bike as my physical self/body, pushing the pedals with my feet, and guiding the bike with my arms/hands.

I commit myself to not participate within the trigger memory of falling off my bike when I am actually riding my bike next/in present.

I commit myself to see the scars on my ankle through my bike accident as a realisation, NOT a fear.

I commit myself to direct myself physically when riding my bike.

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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 26 Aug 2014, 11:19

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Day 269 - Candy Crush Saga, expecting things in return..

So, I actually found Bernard's post on the benefits of playing Candy Crush Saga, which can be read here - http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot. ... giant.html. Surprisingly, I found this link by accident on the a Desteni hate website. The hate website was attempting to show that writings concerning the potential benefits of playing Candy Crush Saga were 'odd'.

Anyway, reading that article was the 'kick' I needed to actually give Candy Crush Saga a go. I enjoy playing it. One has to think ways around situations, make sure they align the appropriate colours as to then cause a 'reaction' when colours from above then fall and create more reactions to earn points through obtaining lines of colours/blocks. I started playing Candy Crush Saga, and the day after I first played it, I got a request or 2 about people wanting/needing tickets to get to the next episode/area.

And I looked at the requests concerning this from the point of "Hmm, but..will that person 'return' this ticket that I am giving them by giving me a ticket or a live now/in future?" Lol. It's like, I only wanted to help someone if another was willing to help me in getting past/further into the Candy Crush Saga game. I felt like I myself wanted to receive benefits/lives/tickets prior to me giving benefits/lives/tickets to others. I was waiting for others to help me before I potentially help them. And in the back of my mind, I was also thinking.."I might not even help others that have helped me, am I obliged to help them just because they helped me?".

And the answer to that is NO. And it's the same for when I assist another in getting past an area or assisting someone within Candy Crush Saga. I should be WILLING to assist another, and NOT expect assistance in return. They don't owe me anything at all, they don't owe me lives or tickets. I willingly gave someone tickets/lives. There's no written rule or rule in general that states 'One must return the favour or be doomed for all eternity..' That would be a bit bizarre.

And I did help someone. Well, yesterday, I opened Candy Crush Saga and saw that 4 people needed extra lives to get past certain areas (I'm still a bit unfamiliar with the needs/lives/tickets etc). Anyway, I sent these people extra moves. And it was cool. It was so easy to do. It required me to literally click one button, lol. That's it. And it's really cool being able to assist others in some way. It works for me, and it works for them. And actually, 2 people that I sent help to, they sent help back to me. Was that cool? Yeah, it was cool. Was it necessary? No. Did I expect it? NO.

So, either way, if they were to return the favour to me or not, there's no reason or excuse for me to go into for instance a state of anger if I assist someone in getting past a level in Candy Crush Saga, and get nothing back. Expecting things is not cool of me to do.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come..

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 27 Aug 2014, 07:00

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Day 270 - Candy Crush Saga, expecting things in return..Part 2

Yesterday I wrote about myself being in a state of 'expectancy' whereas I want lives/tickets in return for me giving others lives/tickets when playing the game called Candy Crush Saga. Here is my self-forgiveness/commitment statements on the matter.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect lives/tickets from others when and as I give others lives/tickets when playing Candy Crush Saga.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that it is someone's 'obligation' to 'return' the favour to me by giving me back a life/ticket in exchange for the life/ticket that I gave to another.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not put myself into the other person's shoes/look at it from their eyes in the sense of there actually being no obligation/reason for me to have to 'return the favour' when someone gives me a life/ticket in Candy Crush Saga.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to attach 'rules' to the lives/tickets that I give to another within Candy Crush Saga by expecting returned lives/tickets for the ones that I gave them.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react with anger if the favour is not returned to me whatsoever via someone giving me a life/ticket - within this, I commit myself to offer another a life/ticket with NO expectations of a life/ticket in return.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not act within a state of equality and oneness by assisting another in getting further into Candy Crush Saga.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise that it's a cool thing to be able to assist another somehow.

When and as I see myself expecting 'favours' in return for the favours that I send to others (lives/tickets), I stop and breathe. I realise that I should willingly offer another favours/lives and tickets and assist them in someway to progressing further in Candy Crush Saga - within this, I realise that the amount of effort it takes me to assist multiple people within Candy Crush Saga is almost non-existent, as I only have to click a button to assist others by sending them lives/tickets, and I realise that this is a cool thing to do and it's cool being able to assist others.

When and as I see myself seeing that it's someone's 'obligation' to return lives/tickets to me because I sent them lives/tickets, I stop and breathe. I realise that I should originally look at the point of me sending another lives/tickets by seeing the point as an opportunity to assist another progress within Candy Crush Saga, and seeing the point/scenario as nothing more than that, not instead seeing the point/scenario as a means of 'getting back' lives/tickets just on the account of me sending another lives/tickets.

When and as I see myself reacting within anger when someone does not return the favour to me by sending my lives/tickets after I've sent them lives/tickets, I stop and breathe. I realise that NO written rule exists within my offers that says that someone 'MUST return the favour to me', within this, I realise that as long as my origin point for giving someone lives/tickets is through an act of assist another, then I have NO reason to react within anger if I do not get lives/tickets in return.

I commit myself to NOT react in anger when I do not receive lives/tickets from another after I have given them a life/ticket in Candy Crush Saga.

I commit myself to realise that there is NO obligation for another/myself to return lives/tickets to me after I have given someone else a life/ticket in Candy Crush Saga.

I commit myself to offer another a life/ticket through a point of assisting another in progressing throughout Candy Crush Saga, and offering another these benefits through it being a cool gesture/thing to do to assist another somehow/someway.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand the ease of assisting another in terms of sending them a life/ticket, it only takes one click to assist another and it's an awesome thing to do!

Michelle
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby Michelle » 27 Aug 2014, 09:54

Cool Anthony.
There are also blogs from Bernard Poolman and Gian Robberts you may be interested reading about in relation to how Candy Crush Saga is supporting them in their process:

Candy Crush Saga: A Giant Evolutionary Jump in Education

Candy Crush Helping Me in Process Part 1

Candy Crush Helping Me in Process Part 2

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 30 Aug 2014, 04:58

Michelle wrote:Cool Anthony.
There are also blogs from Bernard Poolman and Gian Robberts you may be interested reading about in relation to how Candy Crush Saga is supporting them in their process:

Candy Crush Saga: A Giant Evolutionary Jump in Education

Candy Crush Helping Me in Process Part 1

Candy Crush Helping Me in Process Part 2


Awesome. Thanks, Michelle. I had read Bernard's post, but not Gian's posts. Very cool stuff.

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... ocess.html

Day 273 - Focusing on my own life/process, as opposed to focusing on others' lives/processes

Monday through to Friday this week, I had a class in Warehousing. It was only a 5 day course, but it went surprisingly quickly. Usually, I attend courses, and they seem like SUCH a drag. For instance, I'd attend a particular course for 1 or 2 days, and I'd already think to myself that the course is such a drag and I'm sick of the course. What I noticed within this was for this week, Monday to Friday, I was wholly focused on my OWN life/process. Whereas when partaking in other courses/at other times in my life, I'd be focused on OTHER people's lives/processes.

When I'm fully in control and living within my own life and identity, I can just focus on things much easily, and I find things more enjoyable, in this case, within my course in Warehousing. Other times I've worried about what others' are going through within their own lives. But the more I do that, the more I focus on other people's lives, the less I focus upon my own life/process. And if I'm too busy focusing on other people's lives, then I give no time for myself, and I allow myself to wither away within my own process/life. Each person/life lives their own and leads their own process/being. I'm here to guide myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not focus on my own life/process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to focus on others' lives/processes.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to neglect my own life/process.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realise and understand that each LIFE lives/represents their OWN lives/processes, therefore I do not have to partake and 'live' others' lives/processes for them, I must focus on my own life/process to change myself.

When and as I see myself focusing on others' lives/processes and neglecting my own life/process therefore, I stop and breathe. I realise that I am here to change myself solely, and to do so, I must focus on myself and my own life/process to get the result/reward of being fully focused and in control of my own life/process and to therefore become and change into what is best for all life.

When and as I see myself getting caught up in others' lives/processes, I stop and breathe. I realise that EACH life is in control of their own life, so it's not for me to partake or worry about how others' lead/live their lives and control their processes - that is for them to decide/choose, just as I myself choose/decide how to live/change myself within my own life/process.

I commit myself to focus solely on my own life/process as to then change myself to the best of my capabilities and therefore become what is best for all life.

I commit myself to not neglect my own process/life/being through instead choosing to focus on others' lives/processes.

I commit myself to live my own life/process, and I commit myself to therefore allow others' to live their own lives/processes.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that REAL and THOROUGH change comes from me focusing on my own life/process to the best of my abilities.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 31 Aug 2014, 04:09

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Day 274 - Panicking when I thought my tyre popped

I suppose this title is pretty straight forward and to the point, but this is my reasoning for panic. This happened about 2 weeks ago. I say 'happened', but it didn't actually happen. Let me explain: I was casually driving my car, as you do, I was driving to the shops. So..I pulled up at a red light, and I heard what definitely sounded to me like...a burst car tyre. Like, a nail or some sort of sharp object could have burst my car tyre. And the sound of air being let out of the said car tyre.

I FREAKED out. I thought to myself "FUCK, one of my tyre's have burst, and when this light turns green, I'll be fucking stranded and have people honking their horns behind me and cursing me to fucking move my car while I sit here like an idiot not being able to move in my car because of my burst tyre!". So I panicked as I heard this air releasing. I thought for sure that it had to be my car. I've sort of had a history of car fuck-ups so to speak. My car is rather old. It's probably getting towards the end of its life. I will replace it in due time.

Anyway, as the air was being released from my 'apparent' car tyre, I sort of ignored it. My window was rolled down, but I pretended like I didn't hear it. I ignored it. I didn't put my head out of my window to check my tyres. I had a bit of a look at the people around me and beside me in their cars. They weren't looking at me or looking panicked themselves. I'm sure it wasn't just me exclusively hearing this air release from some unknown thing. Anyway, the light turned green and I drove. My car seemed fine. I noticed no flat-tyre-ness. Not that I've ever drove with a flat tyre before, but I'm sure I'd notice some sort of hindrance of my car was not driving as well as it could. Well, I guess even if one of my tyre's had blown, I could still drive. So, perhaps I wouldn't have been 'stuck' and therefore had people swearing at me and honking their horns at me to fucking move my car.

I got to the shops, and I actually totally forgot to check my car tyres. It wasn't until I got home that I remembered "Shit, I forgot to check my car tyres when I got to the shop." So, I checked my car tyres when at home and they all seemed fine. All had the same amount of air in them. So, that air-leakage was NOT associated with my car/my car tyres. So I ended up panicking over nothing. But what I did panic over was the thought of people's judgements towards me as I was stranded at the green light, ..that's about all. I thought there was a multitude of reasons as to why I was panicking, but that was it, people's judgements and their potential swearing/cursing/frustrations at me for being stuck with a flat tyre.

But then again, that is unfortunately the sort of society we live in these days. I've seen other road drivers become stuck on the spot for whatever reason, and instead of we as humans assisting one another or being respectful to one another in times of need, we curse eachother, we do this instead of assisting eachother. It's not that person's fault that their car has issues for whatever reason. I mean, perhaps they knew there was a problem and they should have got it fixed beforehand, but it's happened now. We should all learn to exercise patience while a mechanic or something alike can come and fix the car or take the car to get repaired, instead of having people swearing and being inconsiderate/impatient towards the person/owner of the vehicle.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come.


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