Anthony Field's Journey to Life

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 05 Oct 2014, 04:18

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... art-2.html

Day 305 - Destonian level, part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to burden myself with expectations in which I created within myself through participation with my mind, where I read that I had to 'be' a certain person to 'please' the person that I was talking to via phone.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within the memory of feeling the need to meet expectations and meet 'Destonian expectations' when talking to the person via phone - all because of the first memory which I created and thus participated in, that I was not 'good enough' to communicate with this person unless I studied Desteni material thoroughly/enough to reach this person's level of Desteni knowledge.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be the 'person pleaser' whereas I feel the need to now say the 'right' things, otherwise fearing that I'll get 'pushed away' and 'hated'. Within this, I see, realise and understand that there is no 'rush' to learn Desteni information/get to a certain point within my journey to life - I realise that I, just as others, are going at their OWN pace within their journey's, and that I therefore do NOT need to feel the need to 'get' to a certain level to communicate 'effectively' with another Destonian.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself through the thinking that I'm 'not good enough' to communicate effectively with one Destonian, then relate that to ALL Destonians whereas I see myself as irrelevant and 'not good enough' to communicate effectively with other Destonians/be able to assist them, as they assist me. I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see myself as 'worthless' when compared to other Destonians. I commit myself to see, realise and understand that Destonians are the same as me, and that each human/each life is the same as me - albeit with different paced journeys.

I commit myself to focus upon my own journey to life, instead of comparing myself with other's journey's to life - I commit myself to see, realise and understand the universal support in which I've received from all Destonians - and within this, realise that they do NOT look down on me as a person in any way, shape or form, they see me as their equal, as I see them - and they assist me without strings attached.

I commit myself to not blame myself for another's apparent views towards me of what I should be to them/how I should act towards them - to thus realise that I need only to look at how I react to others/how I am to others - within this, realising that how another reacts to me/acts towards me is in regards to THEIR journey to life/them, not me.

When and as I see myself speaking to this person via phone/via any form of communication, and not speaking 'naturally' within self-honesty, I stop and breathe. I realise that speaking within self-honesty is key, and that placing myself in 'other' personalities such as the 'person pleaser' is a lie, since I'm not a 'person pleaser'. Realising within that, that I'm lying to myself and the person I'm speaking to - since it's all an act.

When and as I see myself fearing how I should communicate to this person in any way, shape or form, based on a memory which I formed, thus participated in when talking to this person, I stop and breathe. I realise THAT was the past, and that I was still 'new' to Desteni back then - thus now I've researched, thus changed a lot, therefore understand how to 'deal' with things - I therefore commit myself to not hang onto that memory of being 'not good enough' in regards to another Destonian, and to live within the present/my present journey and see this Destonian as equal to me - within this, realising that them not seeing me as their equal/them seeing me in whatever way, realising that is NOT my decision - it is THEIR decision, therefore not my responsibility to change myself as to 'meet' their standards if they have any - thus I commit myself to change MYSELF - and NOT change myself depending on how another sees me or wants to see me - being their 'ideal' person.

I commit myself to continue my journey to life as I have been, with the sole purpose to change MYSELF to what is BEST for ALL life.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 06 Oct 2014, 07:24

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... namic.html

Day 306 - Family dynamic

I just had some interesting experiences in regards to family. I basically met up with my mother and father to tell them that I was moving away. I'm moving elsewhere to live with another Destonian. Same country, but the place is about..4-5 hours by plane. It is quite far, I know. It's interesting how it worked, though.

I saw my father first. I told him that I was moving elsewhere, and he wasn't fond of the idea at all. He especially hates the fact that I'm associated with Desteni. That can't be helped. I know that he hasn't investigated Desteni thoroughly whatsoever. He's one of those people (and let's face it - all people) that look at the 'bad' stuff. It's interesting how my family attempt to disprove Desteni by focusing exclusively on the Desteni hate websites, basically - and choose to disregard the Desteni website itself/the articles and information on the actual website. But, I can relate somewhat. Seeing the amount of hate versus one website - it's like, majority wins sort of thing.

It's a big move for me. I've never done anything like this before. I've lived in one area my whole life, and been in contact with both my parents for most of my life, apart from one or two instances where I needed a 'break' from them both and sort of went my own way. I ended up going from motel to motel, to hotel to hotel, wasted my money. I could have found a place to settle at that was much cheaper. Trial and error, though.

But, as I've spoken to this Destonian that I plan to move in with - it will be a cool experience, in terms of assisting eachother, having the same interests, same goals, same dynamic, and we'll be able to achieve an effective means of conversation - both being in our jouney's to life and everything. I look forward to it. --- my father just called me - Basically telling me that family should be priority over anything, Desteni included. He seems to think that I've put Desteni before every single thing. Granted, I've told him things about Desteni, things that I in hindsight, should not have said. I've realised that through reading others' blogs, that attempting to get family or whoever to 'understand' Desteni is an impossible task, because the mind basically rejects the information instantly. Proper research/investigation is necessary.

I mean, anything would look 'crazy' if one only read a sentence or a paragraph ONLY. I remember first being introduced to Desteni, and I was like "What the fuck does this shit mean..?" It wasn't until I continued reading articles, writing - that I 'got it'. That it made sense to me. My mind was rejecting all these new 'terms' and 'words'. So, that is very fascinating how that works. Now, instead of ignoring the words or choosing to not understand them, I either know what they mean, or I investigate the word in all ways to understand it. That is after all how we communicate with others, through words/vocabulary.

My father actually bought me a place. He bought me a house a few years back. He says that I can move in there, and after time, it'll become my place. But, there is NO doubt within myself that he bought that house for me as a means of me to be 'close' to him. I brought that up with him today, and he denied it, saying that was 'rubbish'. I beg to differ, though. I know what my father is like. The attachment is rather immense, and I only really saw it as I broke the news to him that I was leaving. He mentioned that I'm the only son he's got left. He does not want to 'lose me', basically - he doesn't want to lose me, too..that's what I understand from that statement, that I'm his only son left. Because, my brother died a long time ago.

Anyway, I have to do what's right for me/my position. Being constricted/confined to my family/my family's rules/regulations is unhealthy. I'm 23 years old now. It's interesting how my parents still see me as this child that they brought up, and that they will continue to need to 'bring up' - seemingly until I die.

I am taking matters into my own hands - let's see how this pans out..

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 07 Oct 2014, 10:20

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... -mind.html

'Diaries of a Broken Mind'

"Lifting the lid on teenage mental health, this program tells the first-hand experiences of 25 young people in the UK as they navigate the rocky road of growing up with mental health issues."

This program was on tv last night. I saw it in the tv guide, and thought it looked interesting. I like to watch documentaries about how others go about their lives, and documentaries about general things as well, anything, basically. So, it's basically a documentary about teenagers and what mental health issues they have, how they deal with them, their effects - things like that.

I found it quite interesting, and I learnt about new conditions in which I had never heard of. One called 'Agoraphobia' - which was shown in the documentary to be specifically a woman who struggled to leave the confines of her house. She even struggled to walk a few steps to the pub literally opposite her house. It's quite interesting. But, just now, I had a realisation of myself within that 'mental health issue'. If I am totally unfamiliar with a place, I tend to get a bit 'nervous'. Nervous because I'm not 'used' to the surroundings of the environment. It's just that in this particular person's case, the nervousness is magnified exponentially - and formed into a crippling force.

There were other issues that I had heard of before, and that someone I know actually has been diagnosed with - multiple personality disorder. Very interesting stuff, indeed.

Anyway, why I wanted to write this blog, was because of the countless realisations, the constant realisations I had while watching this documentary - being how much self-forgiveness/commitment statements would assist these people. Each time a new diagnosed person spoke about their issue, I thought to myself "It's too bad that you don't know of the power of writing within self-forgiveness/commitment statements!" And, I'm writing this to spread that message, as others do.

There were also forms of OCD which were showed on the documentary. I've had bouts of OCD myself. A major one I had about 1 year and a half ago was my obsession with scrubbing my hands, more so, the obsession within a fear of GERMS. Fuck, I let that shit control my life for a long time. It wasn't until I sat down and WROTE my fears out, along with self-forgiveness/commitment statements, that I ACTUALLY NOTICED PHYSICAL change within myself. And, as I previously read in some Desteni material, although the change isn't COMPLETELY INSTANT, it is THERE. And I have witnessed that change first hand. But, to remember and realise that NO change is INSTANT. There are layers to be written out within each point, some contain more layers than others, and I'd say that especially with issues such as OCD, multiple personality disorder etc - these would have a lot of layers to write out - but it does work. Although, at the same time, I've read about others' experiences and assistance which points to professional assistance/help in accordance with psychologists may be necessary, but, I haven't personally found that to be the case in regards to my own OCD/issues/points.

Either way, I'd recommend self-forgiveness to ANYONE. And to not 'diss' it until one has tried it. And, not tried it by just writing one sentence. That will do nothing at all. One has to be thorough in their writings, specific, and keep pushing. The mind is very powerful, but we DO have the power/will to CHANGE our participation with it.

Check out Desteni - you have NOTHING to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain - thoroughly recommended, thanks.

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Carrie
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby Carrie » 08 Oct 2014, 17:26

Hey Anthony.

It's interesting how my family attempt to disprove Desteni by focusing exclusively on the Desteni hate websites, basically - and choose to disregard the Desteni website itself/the articles and information on the actual website.


This is a point that I've seen come up for a lot of people that are walking this process. Myself, I also have faced this point with my mom and other family members and at the time, I remember being frustrated, irritated, and angry at my family for not supporting me within my decision to walk with Desteni. I reacted to their reactions and they reacted to my reactions and things got real messy. After some time, I realized that I was expecting them to see things 'my way' and when they didn't - when I didn't get what I wanted or imagined from them - then I became quite nasty. Which was the opposite of what I was trying to show them about myself with Desteni and how it was good for me and assisted me to change. So, self-forgiveness was working for me and I felt better, I was more self-aware, and I'd started taking responsibility for my behaviors but I still hadn't changed - I was still throwing temper tantrums. Lol.

Since then, I have made many changes to how I communicate and relate with my family where I listen to them and when they offer suggestions for me to look at or try out, I do it, as this makes them a part of my process and a part of me changing for the better. What I'm doing with Desteni is not so scary for them anymore because as I've allowed them to walk with me and they can see the change in real time. Also, I have found that the name 'Desteni' is becoming irrelevant when I am communicating and working with others because it's not so much about WHO I am doing this with but rather WHAT am doing and HOW I am doing it.

So as you change for the better and make improvements in your living, your relationship with your parents and others will change for the better and improve.

Make sense?

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 11 Oct 2014, 06:19

Carrie wrote:Hey Anthony.

It's interesting how my family attempt to disprove Desteni by focusing exclusively on the Desteni hate websites, basically - and choose to disregard the Desteni website itself/the articles and information on the actual website.


This is a point that I've seen come up for a lot of people that are walking this process. Myself, I also have faced this point with my mom and other family members and at the time, I remember being frustrated, irritated, and angry at my family for not supporting me within my decision to walk with Desteni. I reacted to their reactions and they reacted to my reactions and things got real messy. After some time, I realized that I was expecting them to see things 'my way' and when they didn't - when I didn't get what I wanted or imagined from them - then I became quite nasty. Which was the opposite of what I was trying to show them about myself with Desteni and how it was good for me and assisted me to change. So, self-forgiveness was working for me and I felt better, I was more self-aware, and I'd started taking responsibility for my behaviors but I still hadn't changed - I was still throwing temper tantrums. Lol.

Since then, I have made many changes to how I communicate and relate with my family where I listen to them and when they offer suggestions for me to look at or try out, I do it, as this makes them a part of my process and a part of me changing for the better. What I'm doing with Desteni is not so scary for them anymore because as I've allowed them to walk with me and they can see the change in real time. Also, I have found that the name 'Desteni' is becoming irrelevant when I am communicating and working with others because it's not so much about WHO I am doing this with but rather WHAT am doing and HOW I am doing it.

So as you change for the better and make improvements in your living, your relationship with your parents and others will change for the better and improve.

Make sense?


Awesome! Thank you, Carrie. Makes absolute sense. It's reassuring (and not surprising, lol) that you and other Destonians always seem to at one stage or another, run into the 'family disapproval situation'.

I've noticed that within myself as well. Through my 'fighting' and 'arguing' in trying to make Desteni look 'good', I've just taken away the focus upon the process that I'm walking, and I've made Desteni look 'bad', because my father for instance, he sees me as some 'one way street' person who only cares about Desteni. But, my father does not understand, now I know/understand that. He will not understand unless he chooses to the research himself. And therefore, it's a waste of time trying to 'convince' him that Desteni has assisted me, I have to be that living change. But at the same time, not put 'pressure' on myself to 'be different'. Because, my father recently told me that he saw 'no change' in me. But, I know that others have. Nonetheless, it's about the change that I see within MYSELF. That's why I've been and gone so far within my process already, because I KNOW Desteni has CHANGED me. It's as simple as that. Whether others notice or not is up to them, basically, also, whether they choose to not notice the change within a lie, in hoping to 'drop' my association within Desteni - which could be what my father is attempting to do. But, that does not matter. Whatever happens, I'm committed to my journey to life.

And really cool point about the 'Desteni' name. It doesn't matter WHO we're/I'm doing it with, it's about the ACTUAL change within self - that is what counts.

Thanks!

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... natic.html

Day 308 - Horror fanatic

For as long as I can remember, I've really enjoyed watching horror movies, horror tv shows. I never stopped to think to myself "Why do I enjoy the horror genre so much?". Only through watching a horror movie recently (Wolf Creek, which I stopped halfway through out of realisation that I wasn't even liking this movie) and through my process with Desteni, only then did I stop to consider why I actually like watching horror movies/tv shows.

It's the thrill of unexpectancy. Lol, side not, 'unexpectancy' is apparently not a word. That blog entry is for another time, inventing new words..
Anyway, the thrill of the unexpected is what 'excited' me. But, I realised, the MAJORITY of horror movies are SO FUCKING PREDICTABLE. It's a joke. Like, those typical scares. The 'loud' sounds/noises are associated with 'scares'. Those get 'old' fast. It's cool, though. I've come to look for 'more' in movies/tv shows. Now, I enjoy 'new' ground. I like mystery. Movies/tv shows that make one THINK. Ones that aren't super obvious, ones that don't provide excessive and unrealistic amounts of gore to 'entertain' an audience (I'm looking at you, 'Saw'. Not that I've seen each of those movies, but from what I've seen, it's rather one 'insane' death/torture after the other).

And that is cool, because I realise now that horror movies that provide excessive gore/violence, that they are really 'standard'. Of course, wherever there is an audience, the money follows. Movie makers aren't going to ignore their loyal followers. It's the same thing with the massive 'pop' music following. Nicki Minaj and those sorts -shudder- lol. We just take and use whatever gives us a 'rush'. Personally, I'd rather have something that makes me think, as I said, something unique - that goes for music and visual things.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 13 Oct 2014, 11:09

http://anthonyfieldjourneytolife.blogsp ... roles.html

Day 309 - Gender roles

I'm in the middle of moving to another house, and I got told by my housemate, a proposition to stay at my current house, instead of moving to an alternative house. I have already signed the lease to move into a different house with a friend of mine. Back to the proposition - my housemate suggested all the cool things that will befall me if I were to stay at my current house/stay at my current house with the friend that I had planned on moving to the alternative house with. I was listening to this proposition when my housemate, who is male, suggested as an 'extra', that having a female in the house (as currently it is myself and 2 other males) that it would 'benefit' the kitchen in terms of my friend being able to keep the kitchen 'clean' and 'cook nice meals'. I had an angry reaction to this. I didn't engage into arguments or anything about it, but I felt anger within myself - as I dislike the stereotype of women being good in the kitchen, and all that.

Anyway, this raised a memory within me. When I was living with my mother/stepfather, through the years, I noticed that my stepfather basically NEVER assisted with the cooking/the cleaning in the kitchen. That kitchen territory basically belonged to my mother. I grew very weary of this. And I grew a sense of resentment towards my stepfather for not assisting with the cooking/the cleaning of the kitchen - things like washing/drying the dishes. They both had jobs - so I don't see why it's the 'woman's' responsibility to partake and be the leader within the kitchen, cook the meals, clean the kitchen, wash the dishes etc.

But, within this memory and within my anger reaction/emotion to my housemate suggesting that because my friend is female, that she can be the one to cook nice meals/wash the dishes - I realise that it really is a stereotype in which we've been brainwashed to believe. That the female's responsibility is to put food on the table, to wash the dishes, and to 'please' the husband, or the family, basically. Even before discovering Desteni, I was weary of this particular stereotype - and I ended up assisting my mother in cooking/washing the dishes when I could - I always enjoyed it, though. I find cooking fun - whereas stereotypically, cooking might be seen as a chore, as well as washing the dishes. But, through discussions with my buddy/other Destonians, I realise that it depends how I APPROACH the cooking, how I approach the washing of dishes. Being in the mindset of it being a chore is utterly pointless, instead, to realise it's assisting oneself/others, and it has to be done - nobody wants to re-use unclean cutlery and so on.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 14 Oct 2014, 02:35

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Day 310 - Gender roles, part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react within anger when my housemate suggested that if my female friend were to move into my current house, that she would be able to cook nice meals and wash the dishes and keep the kitchen genuinely tidy - within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within the memory of anger reaction when I had lived with my mother/stepfather, and realising that my mother was the one who would always cook the meals and wash the dishes and keep the kitchen tidy.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not see, realise and understand that this stereotype of women being 'good' in the kitchen is something in which we've all accepted and allowed to exist within society - within this, I see, realise and understand the stereotypical brainwashing that only women should be cooking meals/washing dishes/keeping the kitchen tidy.

When and as I see myself reacting within anger to someone suggesting that women should be cooking meals/washing dishes/cleaning the kitchen because of their gender exclusively, I stop and breathe. I realise that THAT is the stereotype in which we as humans have been brainwashed to believe is the ONLY way that things should be 'done'.

I commit myself to not react with anger to people suggesting women should be the one's to cook meals/wash dishes/clean the kitchen - and to instead focus upon my process, and seeing each individual as my equal - to see, realise and understand that no responsibilities are 'set in stone' - and that all individuals, regardless of gender, can come together to assist in particular scenarios, and all scenarios to become what is best for all life.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 16 Oct 2014, 10:06

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Day 311 - Grammar alert

I was speaking to some random person online using a chat room sort of website, and as they were talking to me, I noticed that they didn't use capital letters, commas or full stops. 'they basically wrote like this' - anyway, that's cool. I'm not phased by that. Having said that, I did USED to be 'picky' in terms of the person I speak to online with me basing my talking to them on their grammar/lack of grammar - which I've written about/forgiven myself for.

Anyway, it got to a point where I was speaking to this person online (typing to them) and in the particular paragraph that I was writing to them, I had used about...5 commas. And, I 'wanted' to use a 6th comma....then I hesitated. I decided to NOT use the comma, out of the fear of being labelled a 'grammar Nazi'. That meaning, in terms of being 'obsessed' with grammar, and a 'control freak' in terms of wanting each letter to be accurate, using full stops, commas, capital letters. That is how I've been described before 'online' when using the whole 'grammar thing'. And, I know that's what people mean when they describe someone as a 'grammar Nazi'.

So, like I said, I've been called a 'grammar Nazi' before, and I participated within that memory as I was considering whether to type in this 6th comma within the paragraph that I was writing to another.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come.

Side note: I was unsure of the difference between grammar and punctuation, ironic. After writing this, and researching the difference, now I know, lol.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 19 Oct 2014, 01:15

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Day 312 - Grammar alert, part 2

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not type in a comma into the paragraph that I was writing, even though the paragraph 'required' a comma - out of fear of being labelled a 'grammar Nazi' - within this, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to when talking to this person online via a chat room, to participate within the memory of being labelled a 'grammar Nazi' for using capital letters, correct punctuation.

I commit myself to write how I want to write, and use as much 'correct' grammar/punctuation as I like to, without fearing labels of being a 'grammar Nazi'.

I commit myself to see, realise and understand that there's nothing 'wrong' with me for wanting to use correct grammar/punctuation.

When and as I see myself not using full stops for instance when chatting to others online out of an exclusive fear of fearing what another thinks of me, I stop and breathe. I realise that within this and if I do this, I am handing the control over to my mind and typing within separation, as I'm not physically HERE - within this, I realise that choosing whether to use correct grammar/punctuation is down to ME, and what I WANT TO DO.

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AnthonyF
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Re: Anthony Field's Journey to Life

Postby AnthonyF » 20 Oct 2014, 05:45

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Day 313 - Fear mongering tactics as to distance self from Desteni

There are a few points to this.

1. I have not been writing as frequently (daily) as I COULD be (which I know from personal experience is not helpful to me whatsoever - using excuses to not write, skipping days, things like that).

2. I feel and well, see within my life, that I'm not making 'much' progress towards obtaining a job, and therefore a stable income to sustain myself in life.

The first point, about writing frequently/daily. It's actually amazing, the benefits of writing daily. I've realised this countless times, yet, I have at times (recently) gone astray, astray in terms of straying from my course of DAILY writing. I'm talking about my personal process - I have time to spare, I have points to write out - so, excuses to avoid writing do not benefit me WHATSOEVER, both in the short run, and the long run. Back to the benefits of writing daily, as I was saying...it's amazing that the act of writing daily, no matter the topic, the point - it has kept me HERE and has allowed me to stay CONSTANTLY focused on what I really have to do within my life. That is what I gain from daily writing. Skipping days/weeks, I lose that stability GREATLY. I don't know if others' have found this, but it is certainly the case for me.

Failing to write daily, ESPECIALLY when one has the time, and especially when one uses excuses or whatever reason it may be, to NOT write - it's ONLY damaging one's process. That is what I've seen through both writing daily, being committed to that, and on the other hand, failing to write daily, using excuses of 'Being too tired.' or 'I'd rather do other things.'. I've paid for using those excuses countless times, and obviously, within this, I'm only hurting my own process/myself.

That's the first point. Writing daily for me is vital. As I have seen the effects of writing consistently, and lagging - giving up. There's only ONE way to keep stable/steady/focused, for me.

So, that first point leads to my second point somewhat: in that I lost 'focus', I lost stability on my goals, my main goal being gaining employment, and thus a stable income. Yesterday, I felt that I was 'wasting time' and 'wasting my life'. I could and SHOULD be doing things like, improving my resume, applying for jobs, researching potential study options - things like that. But, I wasn't. I was preoccupied with other things.

So - through both of these points, I participated within a memory. I remember at the time of this memory occurrence, it had a strong resonance within me. It was at a time when I was 'weak'. I was 'weak' in terms of I was very unsure of Desteni - reason being that I was new to Desteni at the time, and I had people telling me that Desteni was a scam etc. But, basically, my cousin had picked me up from my father's house, and he drove me to my other cousins' house. While in the car, my cousin, super skeptical of Desteni, and I - we had a pretty thorough discussion about Desteni: He wanted to know all about it, how I found out about it, what it's about.

I was still learning about Desteni, so there was a lot I was still confused about, in associate within Desteni, that is. I may have also been a 'God believer' at the time of the discussion, I'm not 100% sure, though. Anyway, the thing that my cousin said to me that really stuck with me was that 'You don't want to participate with Desteni your whole life, and only realise later in life that you in fact wasted your whole life by trusting in and believing in Desteni'. So, my cousin was basically telling me that I don't want to be associated with Desteni for 5-10 years, and only after that long of being associated with Desteni, then realise that Desteni was a scam. Through someone uncovering Desteni perhaps, or other means of 'evidence' proving to Desteni being a scam to make money.

So, again, that memory, those words did stick with me. And, although I am absolutely convinced within self-realisations/my own process - that Desteni is legit and NOT a scam to make money or a scam to brainwash people - I still have an attachment TO that memory of being told that. But, what I actually realise is my cousin's words were fear mongering words. Words to put FEAR into me. I mean, who wants to go through life, and only realise in their later years that they were lied to? I doubt many people would want that. And of course, it being my cousin - a family member, I took his words strongly. So: It's interesting how people/family attempt to put fear into one, well, into me.

Self-forgiveness/commitment statements to come.


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