Marleys Journey To Life

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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

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Maybe you celebrate Christmas at this time of year, and maybe you don't, I go back and forth so sometimes I don't celebrate Christmas for years, I have had issues with it lets say - my longest stretch was about 6 years of not celebrating it, and ever since my grandfather died in 2013 I've been generally less interested in celebrating it in some ways - because it was when I was a young kid with my granddad that I have the best Christmas memories.

In small families like mine Christmas is never really a big deal in general I would suggest, but it was also after I learnt about some of the strange pagan history and the consumerism elements at around 13, which caused me to not really want to celebrate Christmas for years.

But there was fear within this, so some years nowadays I will join in the festivities with some friends, and every year I like to have a nice meal and some laughs with my mum.

Now at this time of year you sometimes hear people say you hear people say - oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday! I mean there's even a famous Christmas song after those exact words - its the idea of the excitement of all the giving and receiving and the fun that people have at Christmas and wanting it to last forever.

Understandable too, because in the world we live in, all of the madness that exists - a world where rape, war, starvation and the destruction of nature occurs so much everywhere, this world of cold hard slavery for 99% of people we can so easily let ourselves get distracted by anything that makes us smile, anything that entertains us and takes away the reality of the pain in this world.

It is easy to within this chaos become unconsciously sad about the abuse in this world throughout our lives, and this can grind people down and cause people to try to cling onto Christmas, projecting into the future and the next Christmas already before this one is over, addicted to the high and feeding the sadness at the same time.


Because at Christmas things feel different for a lot of people, not that they are in physical reality of course, but its the feeling of this slavery machine stopping, where we can pause, breathe comfortably where everyone is able to laugh in the sun with their friends and family, which in reality is something that we all equally want in life.

Yet capitalism says that not everyone can have Christmas, it is a disgrace in my eyes that we do not have a money system in existence right now, which provides Christmas to everyone in this world everyday. Because personally at this time of year in amongst all the smiles I see on the faces of work colleagues, friends and people on the streets at Christmas, it makes me smile - smile in unison with their Christmas cheer, yet also smiling knowing that this joy, this joy must be for all, I must implement a system of this joy for all life on Earth.

I must, we all must find ways to make sure that we can all have Christmas everyday - where we are all giving and receiving throughout our days, with no fear involved tainting our day. So how can we have Christmas everyday?



Well simply put it is only going to happen through an equal money system, test it yourself, mathematically and you will see it is the only chance we have as a species in general on this planet to start from scratch and do everything better for all life here.

A money system based on comforting all life, everyday with the basics needed to have a smile on everyone's face, where the money we make in our labour time is equal in all jobs, where everyone can strive and achieve a Ferrari through their labour value, not their family name as we have now, where machines will do the most difficult and mundane jobs as well as generally assisting us in everyway, so that we can express ourselves truly and do what we are actually passionate about, as opposed to what we have to do right now in order to pay these pointless capitalist bills of survival.

Ultimately a system where we are all learning from each other, growing together, uplifting each other, with the concept of a slave and master anywhere in this world being eliminated - all equal as masters giving and receiving everyday - Christmas everyday for all.

So this year at Christmas, wherever you are in this world just know that there is no charity organisation that can implement Christmas for everyone everyday, there is no special saviour from a religious text that can implement Christmas everyday for all life, it is only and I mean only happening through an Equal Money System and only we can implement that individually and in unity.

So lets all walk together installing an Equal Money system in everything that we do, investigating everything and only keeping the best of anything where a world of Christmas for all can actually be done, where everyone is included in our fun.

Join me next time as I continue this point in my journey to life.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... y-for.html

Well Christmas has come and gone for another year, and we stand today on the precipice of 2018 on New Years Eve. So continuing from my previous blog, lets make sure we are all clear on what we can redesign Christmas as moving forward, because we do not need these pre-programmed limitations on Christmas, we can make it something that we have everyday in every moment -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire it to be Christmas everyday, without realising in every breathe that this can only be achieved through our individual and unified existence as an Equal Money System, because it is only through an Equal Money system that Christmas will ever be realistically celebrated by all beings in this world, because Equal Money is based on giving and receiving for all, which is the basis of the best elements of Christmas.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that the reason so many people enjoy Christmas, is because things feel different, not that they are physically, because the world is still an abusive place, but for a moment Christmas reminds us of a world where we can all slow down, breathe, be kind and have fun - Christmas literally shows us that things can be different if we will it to be so.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to get addicted to the high of Christmas in younger years, without realising that it was just the self-interest of receiving only, of getting what I want to make myself feel better about my life for a moment, when I was simply feeding the sadness through this process.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the past use Christmas as a way of entertaining myself, of distracting myself from the sadness I feel within myself about my life and the world that we live in and to then react to this and feel ashamed to support Christmas even as I got older.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having Christmas every year to "keep me happy".



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist Christmas more and more as I have got older, based on the knowledge and information I have learnt about Christmas, without realising that fear exists within this resistance, and this fear doe snot support me in living what is best for all life, so I must take Self-Responsibility to remove all elements of fear that exist in relation to Christmas.



I forgive myself for allowing myself to have an uncomfortable dread experience when I hear the word Christmas, where I fear being surrounded by the ignorance, paganism and consumerism of the Christmas period. I realise that this dread experience is showing me that I have issues that need to be dealt with in relation to Christmas.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as stupid that celebrate Christmas, which is so hypocritical because I have celebrated Christmas so many times in my life especially in younger years, and as we are exploring here, Christmas can be built to be something cool, so this judgement is completely pointless.



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to and hold onto memories of Christmas with my granddad and mother in younger years as being the best Christmas memories, and to then react in fear to these memories, where I feel like I cannot have the levels of smiles now that I did then at Christmas because my grandfather is dead now -



So i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and believe that I cannot create enjoyment within Christmas nowadays because of my granddad being dead, because when I let that concept go I always see that I can create enjoyment here within anything, thus I can enjoy Christmas when I breathe and do not allow these fears and beliefs to direct me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because my blood family is small, then celebrating Christmas is always apparently "pointless" when in reality my family is the human race and all living beings in existence, therefore Christmas is something I can build to include all life.



I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to create separation within myself in relation to Christmas through learning about and reacting in fear to the pagan history and consumerist elements of Christmas. I realise that yes while the pagan and consumerist elements of Christmas are abusive, that does not mean I have to facilitate and feed into any of those abusive elements.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to engage in Christmas, through these fears, without seeing and understanding consistently that no matter how much I try to separate myself from Christmas, it is here in this world and it always makes sense to accept what is here, and direct it to whats best for all life where beneficial expansion occurs, instead of reacting and resisting interaction with that point, where change is impossible.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe, that I can transform Christmas to be something that supports all life, I can pull out the elements that don't make sense, keep what is of benefit and expand upon it.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear to be the predominate factor in my Christmas experiences in my life, and now I realise that these fears are of no use, and that we can make Christmas a living organism in this world, create it into a world where we all masters giving and receiving equally.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed into a money system that does not allow for all beings in this world to have Christmas, I realise that I must individually and we all must in unity stop supporting the abusive elements of this capitalist money system which is us.



I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, realise and understand in every moment that this world is a reflection of me and vice versa, so anything I am reacting in fear, to anything I keeping myself in separation from is an element of myself that I have not accepted, investigated and corrected - no matter how you feel about Christmas, it is something that exists in this world, therefore it is a part of us all, and so we must all take self-responsibility to make Christmas something that we can be proud of.



I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that we can use Christmas as a vehicle, a tool, a symbol of our growth in this world, with which to show how much better we can make this world with our input, with our intent and action, by basing everything we do everyday on the best part of Christmas, meaning giving and receiving equally, offering our gratitude to life with no expectations, including as many people in our joy as possible, making sure that nobody is left out, all eating the best food, the best for everyone.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to allow fear to infect my interaction with Christmas, as these fears only serve to limit me as the ego, so as and when I see my mind having fear based thoughts about Christmas, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to feed into these thoughts as I know the time looping cycles that will occur as a result - so I breathe and continue to do so until there are no more thoughts that come up and I transcend all these Christmas fears.





I commit myself to embracing the best elements of Christmas and to remove that which makes no sense.



I commit myself to living the realisation that a world where every person can celebrate Christmas can only be achieved through the implementation of an Equal Money system, and so I must take self-responsibility to embody an equal money system in everything that I do, because I want to live in a world where everyone is having fun, giving and receiving naturally and literally having Christmas everyday.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to judge anyone who celebrates or does not celebrate Christmas, because in reality Christmas is more of a symbol then something that you have to celebrate or not - building a world that takes care of all life equally is the point that is the highest worth, so Christmas is simply a societal event which we can use to show how much better our world can be through the implementation of equality and oneness for all life -- so as and when i see my mind judging someones perspective about Christmas, I stop and breathe and continue to do so until there is no more judgement that comes up.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... ality.html

Illness, something that is always lurking around the corner, the virus ready to infect your body and debilitate you in whatever way the specific virus is intended to do.



Just living life in this world is essentially a virus that slowly breaks us down as we get older, but in today's world where viruses are designed through science at an accelerated rate, it is virtually impossible for a person to navigate a lifetime in this world without contracting some kind of illness at some point in our life -



This illness will either a short/long term debilitation of our capabilities where we will fully recover at some point, or it can be the more sinister, the fast destructive disease, or the slow painful disease draining our life where we will not only never full recover, but will inevitably die from this.



This contagion, this endemic, this plague does not care if you are an innocent fragile baby, or if you are the man of steel standing on a mountain - there is a virus somewhere in existence that you will not be impervious to.



So we can extend our life, we can make people more invulnerable in certain ways, but there is no immortality in one organic vessel, and there is always a pathogen somewhere that can cause immense physical trauma upon us.





When we are Ill, we are reminded of our mortality of our vulnerability - its is easy to forget when we spend so much time in and as our ego hat we are just organic bone filled soft blood sacs walking around in environments full of hazard, where a million things can harm us, so it really doesn't take much to cause us to contract an illness which can then potentially speed up our inevitable death.



With this knowledge of knowing how viruses attack the body looking to break us down or imbalance us in someway, we are reminded how death can be brought closer by this illness.



Then the thoughts of the fear of death can begin to encircle ones thought process as the ravages of the contagion takes a hold of you.



I have been dealing with this myself being Ill with a type of flu like virus, a particularly strong strain that I have been battling for months to fight off - which as my doctor has noted, is strange considering I do not have a track record of getting Ill like this at all.



My mother and me were joking about this recently, but in reality there has been many points here which have been coming up in relation to me being ill - judging myself for being ill, being angry that I am ill, feeling confused as to why I am ill, daydreaming for hours in the day about what kind of virus this could be and where it came from.



Conspiratorial paranoia that this virus was designed for me, to silence me. I find myself getting distracted from things I am doing here because I am ill here, being dishonest and self-dishonest when people ask, or I ask how I'm feeling, like pretending that I'm not even ill. Then there is this fearing that I will not get back to full fitness and what will happen if I don't, fearing that I will become more ill then my mother, fearing that this contagion will continue to mutate and destroy me from this world.



So yeah as much as it is shit being ill, it has also been fascinating to see what has come up within me as a result, and realising through seeing whats happening in my mind, that this excess baggage in my pre-programmed mind is completely unneeded and does not assist me to physically heal and ultimately it is building physical healing that one must always do when we are ill.



Join me next time as I take the necessary steps to make sure that I unravel these illness mind possessions I have been dealing with, and align myself to what is best for all life.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

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Have you been reacting to an illness in your life before? If you have or if your going through that now then this blog will assist you so lets walk -



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in various ways to being ill recently, I realise that these reactions have not assisted me to get better, and cannot assist me in any scenario in my life moving forward, so I take self-responsibility to redesign myself to not fight in my mind with an illness once it arrives.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that these reactions are not assisting me to live what is best for all in every moment in self-honesty as breathe where I can apply common sense when I become Ill to be able to only allow that which supports physical healing.



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that because I rarely ever get Ill, that It should be impossible for me to get Ill when in reality there is a form of contagion that can affect any physical being in existence.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego through the thought "I never get ill, how is this possible?" I understand and realise that when I stop and breathe, I am able to see that this thought is based in these memories, this accumulated knowledge of not become ill which I then became proud of and defined myself according to.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a person that "cannot become ill" when in reality I realise this concept is flawed on the basis of the fact that as an organic life form existing in this physical realm of existence, I am always vulnerable to some form of plague that exists - from an innocent child to the most physically strong on this planet, there is always a virus that can afflict us.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that just living in this world, within and as this physical body is an affliction one could say from the perspective that from the moment we are born we are doomed to have to continue fuelling our body to stay alive, because it will wither and die if we do not, and no matter how physically strong you are everyone in this world physically withers after our athletic prime fades away as we get older.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being weak, to fear being compromised, a fear of illness as the contagion is upon me - because these are not feelings that I am used to having myself, but I have for instance seen my mother for years dealing with severe illnesses, being compromised so I realise that this is the starting point of these fears.



So within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed hold onto memories of my mother being Ill for years and to react to these memories in fear of manifesting illness in my own body - I realise that fearing becoming ill to any degree can only make me more open an susceptible to an illness, so I have now learnt to forgive myself, to breathe whenever fears of illness come up, so that I remain stable, where my decision making is clear.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying when I am ill, I mean everyone fears death at times, but when we are Ill these thoughts can become charged emotions, where we start believing we are actually dying, when the ego will always exaggerate what is reality.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for being Ill, this judgement is not self-honest, because it is based on the pre-programmed egotistical idea that it is not possible for me to become ill in the first place which is a complete delusion that keeps me in separation from reality as I have now seen.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for being ill, when again this is all stemming from a delusional idea which only keeps me in separation from physical reality and this anger is purely a reaction to this idea in self-dishonesty which is not acceptable, this anger cannot assist me in healing or living whats best for all life when I am ill, so I am walking, realigning myself and end this.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste many moments of breathe when I am Ill just through being confused, getting stuck in my mind for many moments in a day thinking about "how is this possible? Where did this come from?" when all these moments could be used more effectively to taking physical steps to heal instead of whining in my mind.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in conspiratorial paranoia about being Ill where I have been entrapping myself within a fear that someone is doing this to me, that someone is trying to silence me with a powerful virus. I realise that this concept does not assist healing, does not assists me to live whats best for all life and really only feeds my ego and strengthens the virus through me accepting this concept.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone is trying to kill me with this virus, which regardless of if that were true or not, how does that support me to beneficially change my situation now? It does not because it is based in separation from who I am as life as breathe.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get more easily distracted from things I'm working on when I am ill and to then justify my lack of focus and effort because I am ill. I can now understand and see that this justification empowers this distraction and vice versa, when if I simply direct myself as breathe here to move without these points, bringing myself back to what I'm doing consistently, then the distraction will reduce and the justification will disappear.





I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dishonest when people ask me how I am feeling when I am Ill - my ego automatically defends itself pretending and says "I'm fine, nothing wrong with me" I realise that when I am breathing and self-honest in these situations, I say "well I'm not great, but I'm reducing its affect on me mentally to improve my focus, and I'm doing all I can to fully recover asap." So I take self-responsibility to be honest with myself about my health, because if someone asks me if I am ok, I should only say I'm Ok if i'm actually ok.



I forgive myself for fearing that I will not get better from this affliction, that it will eventually sap my life force and destroy me - yet as I have seen in my road to recovery, I am actually around 80% recovered now, soon I will be 100%, so I can see how these fears that I have been having for weeks before were actually just drama in my mind based on no actual common sense whatsoever - so If I am ever to become Ill again, I will be ready for the games my mind tries to play, I redesign my mind now to be different next time.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react in fear to being ill, I have seen for myself as I am recovering that these fears have not assisted me in anyway, but have only made the process more difficult and likely prolonged the illness itself. So as and when I see myself having any reactions to any potential future illnesses I have, then I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts, because I know the cycle of events that will occur in my mind, so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more fear reactions that come up, so I can focus on healing and living whats best for all life through out it.



I commit myself to living the realisation that we are more emotional then usual when we are ill, and when we have a starting point of emotion in anything we do then we have a starting point of instability, so It is so important to check myself, to keep myself stable through breathing to pull the emotion out of the illness I am suffering from.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe that I cannot be affected by an illness, I have learnt just recently that It is possible for me to get ill, that it is possible for any being to get ill. So as and when I see my mind having thoughts that I am physically infallible, that I "cannot get ill" then I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to interact with these thoughts, as this would only be the continuation of the separation of myself, so I continue to breathe until there is no more thoughts that come up.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

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How many times have you been in situations in your live where, the circumstances and events of the situation make you feel like an Alien? A feeling that you are separate and different from a person or from a specific group you find yourself in - from a different culture, principle base, country, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, or from a different reality even - Alienation is a word that encapsulates this feeling.



I have had a pattern of experiencing this in different situations through out my life, and while I have walked some corrections with this point before in the past, I see in certain situations still where i slip into this pre-programmed pattern of these same reactions and emotions.



I have carried this Alienation experience since I was a child, it is one of the long standing pre-programmed points within my make up that still require more direction - this belief that I am different, the alien within me that I have been carrying and what has been directing my decision making in many situations.



I see how certain events in my childhood contributed to this - all throughout school living in Bournemouth I was one of the few mixed race kids, all my best friends growing up were predominantly white, which in some situations is where you feel like the black sheep of the group, which develops like a chip on the shoulder experience continually.





I was the only one out of all my friends at school that had a mother that was always ill needing taking care of, and a grandfather who was more like my father then my real father and spoke about topics many people would call crazy, then a grandmother and father that I had never met - these factors fed into this Alien within me experience - feeling like none of my friends could understand how strange my family is.



Then within my family in terms of daily life with my mother or grandfather I was the only black sheep if that makes sense literally, then my grandfather for as many fascinating things he taught me about various kinds of Science, he did always have a lot to say about genetics, Nazi ideologies, Aliens and the strength of Aryan genetics, which again caused this internal judgement of myself, this idea that I cannot fit in because I have so much of a mix of genetics, then anger about this came in teenage years.



But he was never racist to me, because he would say I have the best of all genetics in me, but it was just that his incessant focus on genetics caused me to pay attention to race in a much closer almost paranoid way growing up, more perhaps then a young person really should.



Then also literally my Grandfather would call me Mars as my nickname, Aliens/Space was always a huge topic he loved. He also loved Orchestra and I even remember when he first played the track Gustav Holst - Mars the Bringer of War it had profound impact on me because he would literally say "this is you Mars" every time he played it, it would get me fired up and feeling strong, but ultimately something from far away that destroys.



Then through the repetitions through the years I started defining myself through the planet Mars in a way, an Alien destroyer you could say, which I can see is also a contributing factor as to why I was always getting into trouble as a youngster - after my grandfather died I always wondered and had a fear if he intended to do that to me, like a form of programming that he was doing to me.





Just recently I had a situation at work and a situation in my personal life which showed me I am still carrying a lot of shit in regards to this Alien within me experience.



Fascinating that when I see these Alienation thoughts come up in the moment and then I breathe, use common sense and then direct myself to integrate into the group, into the situation regardless of the stupidity that may be occurring in this person or group of humans.



But from there I can plant seeds, within amongst the chaos of the human ego, where ignorance, self-interest and detachment from physical reality is constantly running the bio frame of the human and the parameters of the wider reality that we all share together.



What does the ego say when you feel separated from people? Thoughts like - this person, or these people don't understand me, its like we are from different planets, their stupidity is mind numbing, I am much smarter then this person or this group of people, why can they not just see things like me, judgement upon judgement etc, etc.





Then what comes from interacting with these thoughts as the ego? All that comes is a limitation of myself as the mind consciousness system and thus a limitation of what I can achieve with this person or persons, where there will be no equal respect as life, but fear where my words and actions becoming more critical and unsupportive, where no mutual understanding and beneficial growth can occur which is not helpful for anyone.



It is irrelevant where we come from, we all come from different places, we all have different genetics, ideologies and understandings of existence - yet ultimately we are all equal as life living on planet Earth together, so we must find a way to agree on this no matter what, because we are truly in this together until the end, so re-aligning my resonance to what is best for all continually has to be done, no matter how many times I fall I will build up my muscle memory through accumulating my stability as breathe in situations where the Alienantion thoughts come up.



Only limitation, friction, conflict and the individualism of self-interest can come from feeding into this Alienation, so it is completely unacceptable.





I will not tolerate this to continue, to stifle any form of interactions with other beings I have in this world, I will find a way to work with and direct the most difficult of beings and groups in existence to what is best for all, through living as an example in my daily application.



That is all I can ever do is bring everything back to self here, because from here I can create self-honest change as myself in every moment of breathe, when I am outside of myself as the pre-programmed mind I cannot do anything other then continue the enslavement of myself and everyone around me which is unacceptable.



I am responsible for what I experience in any moment, we all are and we cannot allow ourselves to be aliens to eachother -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Alienate myself from a person or peoples around me, I realise that this Alienation experience is a pattern of behaviour that has existed for too long within and as me, and does not support me in living what is best for all life, so I must continue to walk here as breathe until this Alien experience is breathe by breathe pulled apart and dissolved into nothingness.



Join me next time as I continue to walk this point...
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... e-not.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an alien, as someone that is "not from here" I realise that this self-definition I have created myself as is actually based in and feeding into separation of myself from physical reality, because every time I interact with an alienation thought, I see how I am not here breathing, but rather existing within and as the pre-programmed mind where I isolate myself and limit my interaction with others which is not acceptable.



I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to as this Alienation character, to separate myself from others in certain situations, where there is a high amount of ignorance and then I will limit my interaction, where no equal understanding and respect emerge, but rather just a critical, distant and judgemental participation from me which is not helpful for me or anyone else.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that the concept of being an Alien is not actually based on any form of common sense, because every being in this physical existence is here sharing this physical reality with me equal and one therefore - how can anyone not be that? I see that it is only through the ego, the pre-programmed mind of the human that causes any form of alienation of ourselves and others around us.



I forgive myself that I have defined and charged the word alienation with positive connotations, whereby when I speak and hear this word, it makes me feel comfortable because these memories of isolating myself as the alien is a comfort space for my mind, a built up automatic acceptance of "my difference" to others.



I forgive myself for projecting my bullshit onto the word Alienation, because in fact it is the state of being alienated, or the transfer of ownership - neither of these dictionary definitions means "being comfortable with separating myself from others" - I redefine the word Alienation in line with what is best for all - as a nation of aliens, all from different places walking in unity as a nation of life, where all races transfer ownership amongst each other equal and one.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an alien based on my mixed race genetics since I was a child because most of my friends growing up were white - I realise that this process of singling myself out in my mind as the black sheep, is something I have been limiting myself as for far too long, I see my improvements through the years, but I see the moments where I still limit myself as this pre-program so I take self-responsibility to end these limiting moments.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe since I was a child and hold onto the idea that I an Alien based on having a mother that is always very ill, when none of my friends really had to deal with this growing up. So I forgive myself for holding onto this idea, because in reality everybody knows a friend or family member who is sick in someway because this world we as humanity has created is sickness incarnate, a state of dis-ease as this capitalist money system.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weird growing up, because my grandfather who was like a father to me spoke about things that a lot of people would call crazy or Alien even. Within this I forgive myself that I added more layers to the idea that I am an alien as a child, because I was the only one of my friends who had a grandfather for a father instead of a "normal father".



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my real father and my grandmothers as alien to me, while it is true they never interacted in my life, allowing this fact to feed into the separation of myself is unacceptable - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my family in general as Alien, which again further fed into the limitation of myself as the ego.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as alien within my own family, because just like when I was around my friends, I was the one with the most mixed up genetics - I realise that this concept has been the catalyst for many angers within myself throughout teenage years.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having a higher percentage of Aryan genetics in my physical design, I realise that this judgement stemmed from me reacting to comments my grandfather made about genetics and aliens growing up, then through the years I held onto this judgement which fed into the alienation of myself.



I forgive myself that I feared disagreeing with my grandfather whenever he would speak about Nazis, Aliens and genetics, because my grandfather looked a lot like Adolf Hitler, and he liked Adolf Hitler, which as a youngster made me want to listen to his word more as I learnt who Hitler was of course first through my grandfather - Hitler was known for his natural authority and I could always see this in my grandfather.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the fact that my DNA is so mixed up and does not incorporate a higher percentage of Aryan genetics - I mean I have Aryan



genetics in me, as well as many other races, so what difference does the percentages make? None in reality it is only the ego that believes this to be of any importance and the ego is a holographic illusion, thus it is not real.



I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to my grandfathers words about genetics growing up, fear that even though he was not racist to me, that he could be if he wanted and that it might be hard for me to fit in with other people in life, becoming a charged emotional paranoia in teenage years which only contributed to my harsh and criminal mind that began to develop.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every here moment of breathe that my incessant focus on genetics at a young age transferred directly from these reactions to my grandfather, which became a charged paranoia full of emotion which cannot assist me in living whats best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories of my grandfather calling me Mars as a nickname - he was the only person who called me this, and my reaction to this nickname was years of defining myself through the planet mars.



I forgive myself that I have not realised that memories of my grandfather playing the track Gustov Holt - Mars the bringer of War and saying "this is you Mars" caused me to literally define myself as the destroyer that is not from here, which had the consequence of being a contributing factor as to me constantly trying to destroy things in teenage years.



I forgive myself that I for years I accepted and allowed myself to react as a fired up kind of strength when i heard this Gustov Holt track play while my grandfather said "this is you Mars", I would scream and shout, feeling like I'm powerful, yet again this has all contributed to the separation of myself from physical reality as an Alien.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a destroyer that is not from Earth, not from Here, I realise that no matter what anyone's connection is to anything, there is no justification to allow anything within and as me that only can cause abuse to myself and everyone around me, therefore I reprogram myself here to release these memories and these repeated reactions, to align myself with what is bets for all life as breathe here.



I forgive myself for regretting that ever since my grandfather died in 2013, I never got to ask him why he would always connected me to the planet Mars, I have feared for a long time that he was doing this as a form on programming to me for some purpose - so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my grandfather was trying to programme to me to believe that I am not from here in some way, I realise that he is dead now, no matter I feel I cannot ask him and his answer would be irrelevant, because now in my life I take full responsibility for every action I do and my grandfather saying something could not have changed that.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that "I was over" this Alienation character I have had for so long, but a situation at work and in my personal life recently showed me that I am not, so I must walk no matter how long until I transcend this shit for good.



I forgive myself for not realising in every moment that when I do not engage these Alienation thoughts that come up and I keep myself here as this breathe, then I am easily able to integrate with a person or group of people and then I have opportunities to plant seeds in amongst the crazy, stupid or ignorant activity they are doing which is best for all life.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and a willingness to fight when I see people doing really stupid and uncaring things, it is like - ok this persons is really stupid, time for Mars to engage where only my harsh and direct verbal criticism can occur which only ends up causing reactions in other people and a fractious relationship with that person occurs which is not supportive for anyone.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment that separating myself from abuse I see in others as this Alien character, is literally saying I have no responsibility to change myself to change this abuse that's here, which is bullshit.



I forgive myself that as the pre-programmed ego as this Alienantion character, I have thoughts like - why is this person/persons so stupid? Its like we are from different planets, Im so much smarter, why cant they see it like me, etc etc. I see how all of these thoughts are destructive in nature and thus have no place for any interaction, so I stop and breathe anytime these thoughts come up.



I forgive myself that I have allowed this Alien within me concept to affect my interaction with others in this world growing up, there is only friction, limitation and self-interest as this Alienation character, I cannot allow this to continue, we cannot be and must not be aliens to eachother.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to Alienate myself with other people and groups - so as and when I see thoughts coming up in my mind that are based in separating myself from this person/persons, based in thinking we are different, based in treating them differently and acting distant and critical towards them, then I stop and breathe I do not allow myself to interact as I know there will only be teh continuation of this cycle of programming which supports nobody, so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more Alienation that exists.





I commit myself to living the realisation that when I see ignorance and abuse in others, that I must integrate with them and as them, understand that I would be as ignorant if I lived their life, walk with them and then from here I can plant seeds through my own living example while I am with them.



I commit myself to not allowing the idea that Alienating myself from others is cool, is a good thing to do as this is just polarity friction which will not assist me, so as and when I see my mind thinking positively about defining myself as an Alien to others, then I stop and breathe, I do not participate with the thoughts, these thoughts are destructive and based in bullshit, all life is equal as the physical in reality - so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more ideas that being an alien to others is positive.



I commit myself to no matter what finding a way to integrate with and direct the most difficult groups and people in this world to what s best for all through living as an example in my day to day application.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... -pain.html

What is happening everyday in this world? In every moment there is an animal which is suffering, in the year 2018 on planet Earth there are still tens of thousands of human children that die of starvation every day - when you look at it from this perspective, can you see how horrifying it can be being an animal in this world?



We capture them, kill them, sell their body parts, eat their flesh, we torture them, starve them, we steal their children, destroy their homes - the collective moans of pain of all abused animals in this world is difficult for some to fathom, but just standing in one slaughter house is enough screams of pain for a person to see that this system of animal cruelty is an archaic system, something from our dark past that we have held onto, something that has no part in our development as a species of dignity - if we cannot learn to take care of animals how can we take care of humanity and vice versa?



Can you Imagine what it would be like if you had to live in this world navigating around, trying to avoid the majority of humans? Knowing that the humans will likely try to enslave and/or kill you if they see you in your habitat? Its either directly by the hand of a human, or it is a consequence of something stupid we have done to pollute and destroy a certain species natural habitat.



Just look at Elephants for instance and the damage that has been done to the Eco system of these amazing creatures - their numbers have been dwindling at an accelerated rate, globally Elephant numbers have declined by around 62% in the last decade alone, with over 100 Elephants still being killed daily for their Ivory.



What can be done to stop this? Well one thing is for sure, its not going to be achieved through providing £3 a month to some charity that will siphon majority of charitable donations into CEO and managing director pockets, while you get a little teddy bear and pictures every month of your "sponsored animal".



This will be stopped by self-responsible individuals walking as an ever enlarging group that will redesign humanity from the inside out through a living example of whats best for all life - the likes of Ivory industries and the murder of innocent inhabitants of our planet will be outlawed completely, it will eventually become impossible for poachers to make money from Elephant deaths, and the whole concept will not be accepted by society to exist any further - when everyone has money to live, nobody needs to kill any living being to live.



Yet I notice a pattern within me here where, every few months I will see a charities advert on TV about an endangered species like Elephants and even though I have long since known about the majority of these "charities" activities and who is behind them - I will react emotionally very quickly as shame and anger, tears will fill my eyes, I will clench my fists and bang them on the table or something.



This reaction of shame is based on the fact that I am a human being, I am a member of a race that has for so long profited from the suffering of the beauty of natural life in this world - shame that in 2018 these "Charities" are still being proposed as a viable solution by many people, when it has been clear for a long time that these charities are actually a part of the problem.



I say that because the concept of charities are like a plaster being put on a cut that clearly requires stitches - charity is where someone gets to play god to the slave who needs and worships them for the "right to live". In reality as I mentioned a minute ago, the only way our animal kingdom will stop being abused and will be supported by mankind, is if mankind individually and in unison changes its nature in relation to the animal kingdom.



I can speak for myself in relation to this because I have learnt in my life how to support animals in living their life - I know that If I die tomorrow I can say that while much more could have been achieved, I did as much as I could in my capacity to create a world of support for the animal kingdom that exists in this world.



Then this anger comes from the fact of knowing that not enough is being done individually or in unison by humanity currently to end the abuse of nature, then as with any pattern of anger when this is the starting point there is only friction and separation as a consequence.



I see that when this shame and anger exists about the pain of the beasts in the world, it is limiting myself - because while something must be done with haste, proceeding from a staring point of shame and anger while it is understandable to initially experience these kinds of emotions about animal abuse, it will mean that I will be being controlled by these emotions, and there will be no common sense within my participation here, because when I am allowing these pre-programmed emotions to exist I am not really breathing here as life.



Judging and fighting with charities will not assist me, it will not assist anyone in this world, because this fighting, seeing the charity as separate to me, is polarity, only feeding into the whole system of the continuation of abusing the animals, getting us no closer to a solution.



I notice that when I slow down as breathe in the moment when I have this shameful, angry judgemental reaction to a TV charity advert, that I can see with clarity what action I can take here to stop this global animal abuse - because this abuse is me, I see how I am this charity pretending to care, and that I will only change that as me from the inside out - where these charities will be stopped from the inside out.



I you also will not accept a world where animal abuse exists, then walk with me as I continue this point in my next blog...
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... art-2.html

Seeing beasts in pain is something I have reacted emotionally about for a longtime, and every now and then I will explode in relation to a charity advert regarding animal abuse.



Also one of my dogs has been very ill recently mainly due to old age and potentially cancer, this has forced me into a position I have been in before with animals under my care - do I continue to look after them while they are in increasing pain and the care they need is becoming more consistent, or do I ask him if he has had enough of the pain and wants me to put him down?



Tears are filling my eyes as I write this knowing that Cypher and so many beasts in this world are suffering immense pain right now, as I sit here in comfort writing this blog.



But as we have been looking at previously, I cannot allow any pattern of psychological behaviour that causes instability in me to exist when it is clearly counterproductive -



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react emotionally as shame sometimes when I see animal abuse charity adverts, I realise that this is a pattern that has existed for some time in me and does not support me because the consequence of this pattern is existing in separation from people as a judgement towards myself and humanity of not being worthy to have such beautiful animals existing in our world.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as humanity to not be worthy of being around life - I realise that yes while humanity has been disgusting towards the animal kingdom, to judge myself and all humanity for this only feeds into conflict within and as me as well as the continuation of this system of animal abuse which I will not accept so I take self-responsibility to stop this pattern now.





I forgive myself for being ashamed that many humans still believe that charity is a viable solution to animal abuse in this world, when it has been clear for a long time that charities are a part of the problem - i cannot allow myself to react to this ignorance of some people, because I once never knew now what I do, and I must remember that everyone who gives to a charity has there heart in the right place so to speak, regardless of the ineffective nature of the charity itself.



I forgive myself that I have not realised in every moment of breathe here, that there was a time in my life where I also believed that the god/slave concept of charities was acceptable, therefore I have no right to judge anyone who supports this concept now because we are all in a process together and a person can only self-realise when they are ready, not off the back of mine or anyone else's words.



I forgive myself tat I have not realised that I have contributed to the exact same system that allows for animal abuse to exist in the first place through my participation within and as this money system of capitalism - yet I have seen for some time in my life that only I can change animal abuse here through what I allow and accept and how in interact with animals in this world, because when I breathe and stabilise myself here, my starting point becomes clear and this has enabled me to be able to support many animals in this world in my life time.



I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to react emotionally as anger when I see these animal abuse charity adverts, which then simply cause me to be unstable, to unnecessarily hit a wall or table or something, and to look at the charity as an enemy that I must "fight off".



I forgive myself that I have not realised that when I exist as this anger reaction I am essentially making the charity stronger, I am giving the advert designers what they want - an emotional response from me. But when I breathe, I can apply common sense, then I can take self-responsibility and create whats best for all life here as me, then through this constant walking I take one step towards re-designing these charities from the inside out - when I do this my part is done, and I know that when all humanity walks this point in unison then these charities will truly be abolished.





I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that through the laws of polarity, the laws of energy, that I cannot sop anything through competition, through fighting, because it is the very action of competing that creates friction which is energy, which is separation, which is not acceptable - the only way anything changes is when I stand equal to this point, realise that this point is me, that this is not acceptable and then re-align this unacceptable point to what is best for all life.



So within this I forgive myself that I have not realised in all moments that this charity pretending to care, I am equal to that - I am as responsible as anyone else in allowing a system that lets false caring exist in the first place - yet I have seen that as myself here as this breathe that when I take self-responsibility I can redesign this fake caring into real caring - its amazing how animals know when you are a human that can be trusted through developing communication and a relationship based on consistent actions of care and equality.



I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be angry that not enough is being done individually or in unison by humanity to stop animal abuse - i realise that this anger does not assist me to change this point, because all I can ever do is bring it back to self here and do what is possible within my capacity to stop this abuse.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react as anxiety and confusion about whether I should put my dog down or not - I realise that this anxiety and confusion does not assist me, because ultimately we all die, nothing can change that in this world and if his pain only continues to increase from here and he does not die in his sleep - then there is no choice that exists there is only an action of whats best for all life, which of course will mean me stopping the pain for him, ending the physical lifetime of a mighty dog, and one of my best ever friends known as Cypher.







I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting one of my best friends die, especially considering I feel I have lost too many friends to death - yet I see that this feeling is based in self-interest, the ego which cannot let go, so I forgive myself for feeling that this is "not fair" for me to have to decide if i put my dog down or not, but when I breathe here I apply common sense and see the limitations of this feeling and that to allow my friend to be in increasing pain if I can take that pain away is unacceptable animal abuse which I will not accept within and as me.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react emotionally as shame when I see animal abuse charity adverts, I realise that this pattern is pointless, so as and when I see these thoughts coming up I stop and breathe - I do not allow myself to engage as I know the cycle that comes from this, So I breathe and continue to breathe until there is no more reaction that exists.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to react emotionally as anger and judgement when I see these animal charity adverts - I realise that these reactions are understandable, but are not supportive and are counter productive to ending these charities activities, so when I see my mind having these thoughts when I see these adverts, I immediately stop and breathe, then continue to do so until these reactions are transcended.



I commit myself to living the realisation that the animal support I have been living as myself in this world for years now, must continue to be fine tuned until the example I show as myself is imitated by every being in this world until everyone is supporting animals from a starting point of whats best for all life.





I commit myself to not allowing myself to have anxiety or confusion about my dog dying or having to decide to put him down - I realise that we all deteriorate and die slowly in this world it cannot be avoided, so there is no need to have any confusion and whether someone is one of my best friends or not is irrelevant -- so as and when i see my mind reacting to his pain as anxiety and confusion, I stop and breathe, I see that this reaction will not assist me in existing as and doing whats best for all life, so I breathe until these thoughts evaporate.



I commit myself to doing everything I can in my lifetime to ending all forms of animal abuse through creating a system that supports all life as me in equality and oneness - so that when I inevitably die, a blue print will be left here for future generations showing the limitations of how we humans have existed in relation to animals, and how we can build heaven on earth for all life on Earth.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... tions.html

in this lifetime we are destined to learn certain things, to do certain things and meet certain people - yet this predetermined set of events is not set in stone, because it can be changed, redesigned according to our own acceptances and allowances in our day to day life.



Have you ever met a person in your life where you know that it is not accidental that this person came into your life? And that this person will have some kind of profound or impacting effect on your life? We cannot know how long they will be in our life, but we know there can be an effect.



We have all had this experience before, in fact this has happened to me in this past week - someone that if you asked me 2 weeks ago who they are, I would have had no idea about this person, I could have told you nothing and in no way could I see that they were about to step into and interact with my life pattern - surprising.



It is one of the strange beauties of life in this physical reality, every day we wake up from our sleep, we become conscious from unconscious - we breathe and get out of bed not knowing what events await us on this new day.



I have learnt at this point to never assume that I know what will happen in my life from day to day -



yet isn't it fascinating that in our minds the ego always assumes to know exactly how the day will go, what things will happen where we have this pre-programmed comfort of living out our patterns apparently "knowing" how our day to day life will go.



So we must be prepared for these interactions, these as yet unknown to you person or persons - because as the ego we can miss these pivotal life opportunities that occur and even if we do not miss these moments, we may miss the point - remember that just because it is no accident that someone came into your life, that does not mean it will always be of benefit to you.



This person or persons may be here to help you learn about improvement of your life in some way, or to the detriment of your life in some way - we cannot fear this, but we must be aware that just because someone literally drops into our life it does not automatically mean it will be something to assist you in living what is best for all life here.



I have seen in my life there has been many pivotal people who came into my life, some for the better, some for the worse and some a mix of the two -



I notice that when I focus on breathing when I am in the midst of learning about this new person or persons in my life, then I can remove any rose coloured or dark glasses my mind is trying to define this new person as, I can apply common sense and actually see clearly here what this person is about and if we can assist each other in our life paths.





I notice that the more attractive things about the person from a physical design, skill set design, character design, makes my mind more likely to trust the person or want to believe that they must be a good benefit for me automatically.



So I take self-responsibility to stand here stable as breathe when new people come into my life, so I can consistently see with clarity in self-honesty what is happening with these new interactions.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know what will happen in my life from day to day, I realise that while I can determine whether I am smoking tomorrow or not for instance, I cannot determine who or when a new person will enter my life, so this belief is in separation from physical reality.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that someone is a benefit or detriment to my life until I have done the necessary investigation from a starting point of common sense here as apposed to thoughts, feelings and emotions - I realise that I can only ever truly find out what a person is like from standing stable as breathe where common sense and learning is always clear.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically want to trust a person must be here to benefit my life based on something about their character design, physical design, or skill set design or combination of these things that I find attractive about this person - I realise that attraction is not a solid foundation to base trust on, because real trust is built from consistent



interactions that benefit each other.



I forgive myself for not realising in all moments that I must always be clear as breathe when I meet new people so that I can provide the optimal version of myself, so whether the person is here to benefit or detriment me, they will ultimately come to know me as someone who can assist them in life.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to believe I know what will happen in my life from day to day, I realise that while there are periods of being able to see how days will pan out, I cannot see what is not known to me, and I can never see who else's life path is about to intersect with mine at any given moment until they arrive - so as and when I see my mind having thoughts of "certainty" about the upcoming days events, I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts, as In reality I know that these thoughts do not prepare me for any potential new encounters, so I breathe and continue to do so until these thoughts do nt come up any more.



I commit myself to not allowing myself to automatically assume that a new person or persons coming into my life will be of benefit or detriment to me, without making sure I am clear as breathe investigating the point with common sense first - So as and when I see my mind thinking, trying to come to a hypothetical conclusion without a clear understanding, then I stop and breathe, I do not allow myself to engage these thoughts as I know the cycle that will happen if I allow this, so I breathe and continue to do so until there is no more assumption.



I commit myself to living the realisation that I must be stable as breathe when I meet new people, so I can make sure that what I will offer to this person in their life will be of the utmost support to them - a pre-programmed Marley will be of limited use to anyone, yet me as life breathing here supports any and all that come my way unconditionally.
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Marley Dawkins
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Re: Marleys Journey To Life

Post by Marley Dawkins »

http://equalityonenessonearth.blogspot. ... -self.html

Its fascinating how geared my mind is to "pushing things to the limit" and judging myself when I'm not - I just realised this today, I have realised this before but perhaps not paid attention to the consequences or made the necessary adjustments in my living to see the limitations of "pushing things to the limit all the time.



Its like when I'm at work, I want to spend the most hours of anyone else on the project, when I'm working out I want to work as hard as possible until I am struggling to breathe and everything in my body hurts - I must complete my set regime regardless of how tired I am, I want to type until my fingers are sore and then keep typing, I want to fuck as hard as possible, I want to put as much effort into everything I'm passionate about, and squeeze the completion of as many things as I can in a day - If I don't feel physically and mentally tired at the end of the day, I don't feel "like me" in someway, I see this limiting self-definition I have in relation to this.



Ok its pretty cool that I can give me all in whatever I'm doing, because it is definitely true in life that the more focused, the more passionate and determined you become to complete something, then through the law of attraction you will often make it work.



But where does this all come from? This insane drive to keep going? It's interesting because a lot of the pushing of myself will come from the moments where I need to rest, where my physical body just says - no more, relax and sleep now please.



However my mind does not accept this, my mind almost immediately judges myself when I spend longer then a few hours relaxing - what are you doing idiot? Get up and complete your mission parameters, stop being lazy - these persistent thoughts that come with robotic regularity.



Some of this is a result of my life and the responsibility I have had to shoulder at a young age, always having to be on standby to help my mum or granddad with something.



Its like because I always know there is always something else that needs fixing, so there is a pattern of automatically judging myself, when I am not pushing myself to the max and completing something, which is where I basically do not enjoy my relaxation moments, because I'm having this self-judgement.



Then I see how because I'm always trying to do as much as possible and doing everything as hard as possible, when I eventually get to sleep (which is never earlier then 1.30 am) upon awaking I just want to stay in bed, this morning for instance - I woke up at around 11.30am, as Sunday tends to the day in the week where I can relax in bed all morning if I want.



The day before was one of many tasks being completed with as much effort as I can as usual and I didn't end up sleeping till around 5am, so sleeping in today and allowing my body to recuperate is cool - I woke up at 11.30am, then gave myself a further hour of sleep, so I didn't wake up till just after 12.30pm.



Yet what was it that woke me up ultimately? Self-judgement - from the moment my alarm goes off, no matter what time it is, my mind starts judging myself - quickly get up! Stop being lazy!



Bernard for instance told me before me that sleep patterns are fine to be adjusted to 4-6 hours a day and that with so many problems in the world we cannot waste too much time sleeping -



I've always agreed with that, which is why for years I have only ever slept 4-6 hours, yet I have misunderstood because yes 4-6 hours of sleep is fine for any person from my perspective, but realistically it must be adjusted based on how much physical and mental effort we exert during the day, to realise when our body and mind needs more recuperation and give it without judgement, because continuing to push ourselves when we need to have some more relaxation is a form of self-abuse.



Yes there is a fine line between taking a break and procrastinating, and it is this constant fear of slipping from a practical moment of relaxation into lethargy and procrastination which my mind is always trying to avoid, the fear that when I take even a moment to relax I am missing something that requires my full attention and effort.



I must learn to be gentle with myself, to understand and realise the limitation of always pushing

things to the limit, trying to do more all the time - I realise that sometimes I do need to push as hard as I can in something, but sometimes I need to be gentle, to go slow, to allow myself to relax and enjoy that relaxation for long periods if necessary, which enables me to see things that I could not have otherwise realised here.



I must learn to enjoy my moments of relaxation with no judgement of myself, I must be aware when I am pushing too hard, or not pushing hard enough, I must always be stable as breathe regardless not moving from ego, I must give myself moments of relaxation in balance with getting things done with my full effort - and I must make sure that I live the realisation that I am flesh and bone, therefore I do require moments of rest and thus any pattern of self-judgement in moments of a break will not assist me.



So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not physically pushing it to the limit in every single moment of whatever I am doing, I realise that it is not possible to push all the time, no matter what thoughts come up I must allow moments of relaxation in my day - I take self-responsibility to remove this judgement of myself during moments of relaxation, as I realise the relaxation itself will enable me to recharge, which then enables me to complete things more effectively as I will be well rested and thus less prone to mistakes.



Join me next time as I continue this point..
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