Ruben Journey To Life

Place your Blogs Here
Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 11 Feb 2018, 10:16

Day 51: Wanting to Know the Future vs Creating It

I remember some years ago, playing with the Osho Zen Tarot cards, wanting to know my future, it appeared the card 'Control' and I was not pleased, like it my future would be like my present, something I don't like. Looking back I see not much changed, and it is not that the card was an inevitable fate but as I see it, I create my life, I create my future - and I see I wanted things to come my way without me having to do anything for it and it does not work that way.

Because I see the question I asked the cards was wrong, I asked something along the lines of, what does the future hold for me? Instead of what do I hold for myself, what do I gift myself that I will also have in the future, as I have gifted it to myself? And so life is about gifting things to oneself, living words, but that is another post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my future to be different than my present without seeing, realizing and understanding that I create my future and if I do nothing to change my future it won't be changed - I won't be changed, I'll be the same.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I create my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my future to be different than my present, without having to do anything about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to work in order to change myself and my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put the time and effort to change myself and change my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that I indeed can see the future to a certain extent - in that if I don't change myself nothing will change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep repeating the same cycles, being in a zone of comfort instead of breaking the cycles and changing for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self indulgence, not changing myself or my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in not facing myself and applying myself to change in all areas of my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stick to a plan of change to change my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have nothing to lose in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad at the cards that appeared when I wanted to know my future instead of seeing that I create my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to know my future with the osho cards instead of willing my future, creating my future in every moment here.

I commit myself to create my future in every moment here, in the realization that every action that I take creates a consequence in the future, so I create my future in every moment.

I commit myself to take the best actions that I can in every moment, so I create the best future possible.

I commit myself to remind myself that I create my future in every moment, so I have to be careful with what I do/think/act.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 12 Feb 2018, 14:03

Day 52: Mastering the Basics in Education

I attend classes with a teacher, usually I don't make sure I know well the last lesson that we take so we advance with me not knowing well the last lesson and so I don't understand anything well - lol.

Today my teacher was ill so instead of advancing the lesson I repeated the last one and I mastered it, I understood well the material so now I am ready to continue with the next lesson. It is very basic what I am saying, mastering anything before continuing with more material but sometimes I forget and then nothing works out.

The solution is to master the lessons as I go so I can accumulate to a greater result of for instance passing a subject instead of accumulating misunderstanding that doesn't add up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to advance the lessons I attend without mastering what I did.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make sure I understand the material before continuing with a lesson.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself for failure by not making sure I understand the material before continuing with a lesson.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to set myself for success by practicing the lesson until I master it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by merely attending classes with a teacher I will attain something, not seeing/realizing and understanding that I have to master the basics, master what is being taught before I can progress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste resources - time and money - by not making sure I know the lessons before progressing to new lessons.

Whenever I see that I don't understand something, I stop and I breathe, I realize, see and understand that I have to practice what I don't understand until I master it, so I build the brick son the wall of knowledge to be able to progress understanding the material.

I commit myself to make sure I understand what is being taught in classes so I can progress.

I commit myself to use the resources I have available to the utmost degree by making sure I understand the lessons, I master the lessons before continuing with new material.

I commit myself to not take on new lessons until I master the previous ones, be it in my studies or anything I do.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 13 Feb 2018, 10:56

Day 53: Dreading the Future vs Being Here Directing

Today at work . I work as a waiter - we have a big group of 50 + people coming to eat. Yesterday I was thinking about it, and also thinking about the summer season, where we work intensely for about two - three months and I was taken aback by it, I dreaded it a bit. I have already worked a summer at this job and I know it is a daily effort to work as a waiter and it is not the low season we are now, where work is low and there is less stress.

The problem is not the work but if I am worried about it the rest of the day it is not cool, having the mind preoccupied with the future. I know I can make a mistake or two, like yesterday that we had many costumers too and I was a bit late to deliver some dishes and they were cold, but overall I did a good job - also I only had to send them to the kitchen again to heat them and that was it.

The solution is when I have too much workload, to ask for help from other waiters that might have less workload in that given moment, or that can simply help me out in a moment, so that the costumers that are assigned to me can have a good experience and not leave the restaurant dissatisfied.

The word that comes up here is Delegate, where I have to learn to delegate tasks to other waiters whenever I have too much tasks to do at once, so that I don't stress but direct the workload effectively so that everything is done and every costumer is happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to preoccupy myself and worry about the future in my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dread having a lot of costumers at work, in fear that I will fuck up or make mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to attend every costumer that they give me at work if there are a lot, instead of trusting myself to do work to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail if I take on a lot of costumers at work, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I will make it to the best of my ability and then if I fail is OK and I can ask for help when needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not alone at work, and that I can ask for help if I see I have too many costumers at once/to many costumers demanding my attention - so some other waiter can step in and help me out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to take on new tables when I have already a substantial workload, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can always delegate/ask for help if I can't attend every costumer well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the high season instead of being here as breath in the realization that I will do my best when the moment arrives, so there is no need to worry at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear asking for help, in fear that I will be rejected or seen as less than other waiters, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that it is the way to go to have the costumers well attended - to ask for help whenever necessary.

Whenever I see I worry about the future in my job, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I will do my best when the moment arrives of working so there is no need to worry or fear.

I commit myself to live the word delegate, to whenever needed ask for help and delegate work to other waiters that can help me out if I find I have too much workload - so I don't 'collapse' and can attend every costumer well.

I commit myself to speak up whenever I have too much workload and I can't attend every table well.

I commit myself to ask for help whenever I see I have too much workload, so that I don't collapse myself and costumers are served well.

I commit myself to remain here as breath and ask for help when I find that I have too much of a workload at work.

I commit myself to work to the best of my ability, so I don't have to worry about work whenever I am not working as I am certain that when I am at work I give it my all.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 14 Feb 2018, 15:00

Day 54: DIP Pro - Blogging for Sponsorship

Yesterday I was accepted at the Sponsorship Program of the Desteni I Process Pro with a full sponsorship. DIP Pro is an online course that builds on and expands on DIP Lite the free online course, it is the older brother so to speak.

Being accepted at the Sponsorship Program because at the moment I don't have the funds available to fund my way through it means that I have been given an amazing gift and opportunity to develop myself, sort out my mind, expand and realize my fullest potential. And I ask myself, where does one find this kind of support? Nowhere do you find a platform of support such as this one.

In DIP Pro, amongst others, you have a Buddy with which you walk, that has already walked DIP Pro, that helps you out and with who you have a weekly chat to support you throughout every lesson.

Again, who does that? I am so honored to be able to be a part of DIP Pro.
In exchange I will have to continue to support myself with consistent blogging or vlogging, which is the least one can do when receiving the tons of support that DIP Pro is.

I started DIP Pro some years ago, funding my way through it and also on a partial sponsorship, but I was not consistent and I let myself down with finally abandoning it. Back then I had the resources, I had the time, I had everything.

Yesterday I was given a second opportunity. From here, thank you. I won't let you - I won't let me - down this time around.

Quoting DIP Pro:

With DIP you will—

Become effective, precise and consistent within your job or study.
Build character, self-appreciation and confidence.
Expand information processing abilities and understanding.
Remove fears and beliefs that hold you back.
Establish effective and supportive relationships with others.
Develop introspection, get to know yourself.
Overcome addictions.
Take absolute responsibility for who you are.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon DIP Pro in the past, letting me down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use the opportunity to do DIP Pro effectively in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself down in the past, not doing DIP Pro when I could.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not seeing, realizing and understanding that I can give myself the opportunity again to walk DIP Pro regardless of my past within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste resources both on my side and the side of DIP Pro in the past by not walking the lessons effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have already the resolve to do DIP Pro, as I did DIP Lite, I have to simply walk it and never look back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be directive in the past within DIP Pro.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret not doing DIP Pro well in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do the barely minimum when I last walked DIP Pro, instead of walking it to the fullest of my capabilities/ potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the opportunity to walk DIP Pro effectively when I could.

I commit myself to walk DIP Pro effectively to the best of my ability.

I commit myself to not give up on myself and see-through DIP Pro until it is done.

I commit myself to remind myself to do the blogging and assignments.

I commit myself to remind myself of the importance of walking DIP Pro effectively.

I commit myself to remind myself that I can walk DIP Pro, as others have walked it before me



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 15 Feb 2018, 12:21

Day 55: My Life Experience With Lending Money

It has happened to most I guess, when a friend asks for money it is an uncomfortable moment. Today I was asked again and my first reaction was 'no, not again, not you' and I said simply I didn't have the money as I don't. But even if I had I have to be very disciplined and know when to say no, and say it.

Because when someone owes you money is not cool, the dynamics that unfold are complex, like what happens if the money is not returned - I think there is no 'lending' money but more 'giving' because what you know is that you are giving the money but you don't know that it is going to be returned for sure. So one would have to 'lend the money' without expecting it to come back, if one can't do that I would not lend the money to anyone. If you can't afford to lose the money, you can't afford to lend it, as it is never sure it will be returned, and then you lose the friend along with the money.

Also you can't trust people with money, because they change, they can be very nice and all but when it comes to money one can't really know. And it has happened to me the hard way with giving even family members money! It happened to me because I didn't know the mental state of this family member, life savings were lost on my side. And I am talking about a brother here! And this has had repercussions to this day, not being able to pay my way through DIP Pro and living paycheck to paycheck.

And friends that claim they have not been given money, and because a paper was not signed, I can't claim the money back - and they continue to be 'friends' as they 'don't remember' ever receiving money. Of course not to be trusted ever more.

So the end result of me giving money, even to family members has resulted in me having zero savings, which is sad to say the least, allowing myself to be betrayed by my own brother because he was mentally disturbed and I did not know.

People have various and many mental problems and they ask for money but you can never know their intentions for sure. How could you? You can't, and you can learn this 'today or the hard way'.

So money is a hard subject, don't take it lightly when someone asks you for money because you can be taken in for a ride if you are not careful and have learn to say No, or can afford to lose what you lend.

Also it is important what the money is for, in today's case it was to pay for a summer festival and my friend said would be returned in less than two months, well I can't afford to help you out and you will survive without me lending you the money.

When the money is for problems and so on, also you have to assess if you can self-honestly help out or not. It is important to not feel guilty if you can't help out someone, in my life I will come across people that need help but won't be able to help them. Self comes first and if I can't afford to help someone then I won't, if I can then I will - but as a rule of thumb I don't lend money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not being able to help people that really needs help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that self comes first, and I can't and will not be able to help everyone in my life that needs economic help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to help everyone that needs help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed by being fooled into giving my life savings to a family member.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less-than because I have no savings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inferior because I don't have savings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put myself first whenever someone asks me for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myelf to trust people with money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepeted and allowed myself to see that if I can't afford to lose the money then I can't afford to lend it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust a family member with money without making sure of their state of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am not able to give money away, so I don't even have to consider lending money as I am not able to.

I commit myself to remind myself that I come first and that I can't afford to lose money thus I can't afford to lend money.

I commit myself to remind myself that I can't lend money.

I commit myself to remind myself that I doon't lend money.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 16 Feb 2018, 14:28

Day 56: Age of Empires II and Self-Sustainable Communities

Age of Empires II is a strategy video game where you have a civilization and use your citizens to gather resources and build buildings and you can fight against other players of other civilizations of the map.

I have been playing with my brother and it is cool but after a while it gets tiring having to gather resources fast to build military buildings to build troops to crush the opponent - or get crushed-.

So yesterday I decided to try a new approach, I played by myself with the computer who was two players, allies instead of enemies - so it was like I was playing with two humans allied - and I focused on developing my population, and instead of creating military buildings I created farms. My allies at times asked for resources and I helped them out, and I asked for resources from them at times, so we helped each other instead of fighting.

The game works on points too, if you have more points you are the winner. So by making a lot of farms I did not know that you could win by points too, and I won by points. By making farms I had the population busy doing something useful instead of fighting with the other civilizations.

After a while of playing like this the resources ran out because the game has limited resources/is not sustainable but if we extrapolate the game to real life, here on Earth we can all develop real farms and live there supporting the environment and ourselves, we would be all busy and not go into fights with other countries.

And this is what is doing Earth Haven, with the goal of developing self-sustainable communities all around the globe.

"The guiding principle in these communities is to bring about the utmost potential of the land, which must sustain all forms of life on the land: the animals, plants and humans. Under this principle, we regard farm animals and wild animals to be equally important. In summary, we are doing what is best for all which means the land, the animals, plants, and humans. Without exception."

This is the cool part, where through sustaining ourselves we also help out the environment/other life forms of the land.

I visited Earth Haven for two weeks some years ago and I can say living there is pretty cool, with all the animals there, from dogs to horses to chickens, cats, parrots, goats and of course living in a supportive community of humans.

All in all it is a win win situation for the humans and plants and animals.

By doing this, by living in self-sustainable communities we change the rules of the game, where previously it was to fight with each other whereas now the goal is to help each other to develop our communities and support the environment. Where we know we could fight each other but we don't, as we are busy with bettering our communities and the environment and see no point in going to fight someone else.

You can support Earth Haven with me -I give a small monthly contribuiton - on Patreon.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 17 Feb 2018, 13:09

Day 57: Like My Post Please

After I am done writing a blog, I share it to various Facebook groups and wait impatiently for likes to come - lol - I have to slow down on this because likes will come by themselves and with time, so I don't have to worry about it.

Impatience is the word, like I can't wait for the word to be spread, for change to be implemented, for views to go up. Well I have to start by changing myself effectively and this is a process, as it will be getting more views.

It has been less than a month that I have been writing daily blogs and I can't expect to have tons of views from the get-go, also it is not the amount of views but the insights that are shared if they are valuable for the reader or not, so every day I must take care to share supportive material for others to be able to support themselves with, realize something, change directions of their lives.

In today's case I was too worried about facebook likes, yesterday was a bit dry of likes on facebook but on my blog I had quite a bit of views, so it is not that they don't read you, sometimes they simply don't give a like

Id'say, give a like if you liked.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have likes on facebook on my blog posts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be preoccupied with how many facebook likes and views I have on my blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impatient over views and likes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to grow up on likes and views instead of seeing realizing and understanding that this is a process like the process of change that has to be walked consistently over time and one can't force it more than being consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be 'rewarded' by likes instead of knowing that I am being rewarded if someone finds my blogs useful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having views and likes on my blog posts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ignored.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that fear of being ignored stems form me not giving attention to me.

Whenever I see that I want to have more likes and views, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this will be a process and that I cannot expect to have tons of likes or views overnight but that it will in any case be gradual like the process of change and not instantaneous.

I commit myself to remind myself that the only thing that I can do to have more likes and views is be consistent and that the other part - views and likes - will come by themselves as I have no control over it - I can only work with what I do.

I commit myself to remind myself that I have to focus on creating content, not on controlling how many views or likes I get, as I am not in control of that.

I commit myself to remind myself to not live the word impatience, and change it to patience instead.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 18 Feb 2018, 12:54

Day 58: When I Believed I Was Dying


Today is Sunday, the day that many have off and that can dedicate to themselves, that they don't have to work and that usually this blog has more views, thus why I have been for more than 15 minutes wondering what great point I can write about. There is no one great point to write about, well maybe there is, the principle of doing what is Best for All. You see, I am Bipolar and there was one time where I was very depressed and became psychotic, which means that I started imagining things that were not true. I imagined that that I did something horrible and that everyone and police was after me and that I would burn in a horrible hell forever. Once I was in that state I believed 100% that this was true so I reasoned wrongly that if I was going to end up in a horrible hell why the hell not go straight to it, and I attempted suicide.

When I believed I was dying I told my mother even in my perturbed state: 'the principle of what is Best for All still stands', and I said goodbye.

I am not revealing how I did it to not give ideas to other people but at that one point I was certain I was going to die - later on, when I was at the hospital and didn't die I was angry and then started a process through medication and realizations how I made up a lie in my head and what I believed of the persecutory ideas was not real, until now that I don't have anything of this at all and am 'a normal person' once again.

I am telling this because, when I thought I was going to die, there was a moment of clarity, of wanting to leave something in this world eventhough not effective - just saying that the principle of what is Best for All still stands doesn't help much - and what is more relevant by saying this on my believed death time I was in a way passing the torch to others, giving the responsibility to others of something I did not do fully in my life, which is doing what is Best for All absolutely.

This is to remember that at times we forget about the principle, about bettering ourselves, about bettering the world but remember that, on my 'deathbed' the first thing that came up, and this was not planned, never during my psychotic break I thought about the principle of what is Best for All or self forgiveness as I was too much in my posession/imaginary world/caught up in fear -- so the first thing that came up in my 'deathbed' was the principle of what is Best for All, and by then it was too late, I mean, I believed I was dying and there I was telling this to my poor mother who was not prepared for this at All - So when we die, when we are on our deathbed it is too late, and we can't pass our self-responsibility to someone else to walk, either we walk it or we don't, no one will walk our self responsibility of principled living.

Learn more about principled living here http://desteni.org/about-us/desteni-principles



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 19 Feb 2018, 12:14

Day 59: The Power of Dedication

Some hours ago I did the teoric driving exam which went great! I have been studying with a driving school that has a cool method, I followed it and eventhough I still don't know the score, I am certain that I have passed. This is what is cool about studying well, that then is inevitable for you to pass.

So this is what I have to do in all areas of my life, prepare myself well so it is inevitable that I pass/get things done properly.

If I look back at what I did to do the exam so well today is because I put myself to study several days, concentrated with what I was doing and 'grinding' responding to tests. The exam was not very diffifcult in that I did not doubt much in any of the 30 questions of it.

So the word that comes up is Dedication, where if I dedicate myself to something I get results.

In the past I have wanted results but not dedicated myself much to get them, resulting in failing at my objectives. Today, eventhough I still not know the score, as I pass, it will prove that with dedication I can achieve results.

Every time I failed at something I would always put the excuse of not having studied/dedicated myself much to it, which was true, but this is not a valid excuse as none are, instead I have to dedicate myself to something and then reap the results. A cool objective for me is to be a dedicated person, someone that dedicates themselves to everything they do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the word dedication in all areas of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to achieve results without dedicating myself to stuff.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that results need commitment and dedication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept defeat/failure by not dedicating myself enough in what I do, for example my studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself for failure by not dedicating myself enough in what I do.

I commit myself to dedicate myself to what I do so that I can be successful in my life.

I commit myself to remind myself to dedicate myself to what I do, honouring myself in the process and achieving results.

I commit myself to dedicate myself to what I do so that it is inevitable that I succeed/pass an exam for example.



Ruben
Posts: 2392
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:05

Re: Ruben Journey To Life

Postby Ruben » 20 Feb 2018, 13:46

Day 60: Why I'd Probably Be Dead if I Lived in the USA

There is much fuss about gun control now because of the recent mass shootings in USA. I live in Spain. See, as a Bipolar there was a time I didn't know I was one. And I went in to a manic depression. And I wanted to kill myself. And lukily I didn't have a gun around the house to use, nor was I able to purchase one.

Researchers estimate that between 25% and 60% of individuals with bipolar disorder will attempt suicide at least once in their lives and between 4% and 19% will complete suicide.(1)

See, there has to be a protection for mental health patients, because you can't tell someone is bipolar and on a manic depression just by looking at them. I could have gone to a USA gun shop and no one would have known. Also, because in my manic depresion I had persecutory delusions that I was being chased by police, who knows if I would have turned the guns to them as well. It would have snowballed and people would have been killed, myself first.

There has to be a protection about people themselves, no one knows if they will become bipolar, if they have bipolar subjacent in them, waiting to be activated by something we don't yet know - as I don't know what activated my bipolar disorder, it somply came up where there was no prior mental health issues, and eventhough I was in hospital they didn't know it was bipolar disorder until later on that I had a 'high' manic episode where I was not depressed but vey active and with delusion as well, but more positive themed.

Overall, access to guns has to be more difficult, like there is in Spain, or even better, something like a full day course like they do in Japan, where yes, they would have detected something was off with me in my manic depression, as well as an interview with a psychologist, that would have helped. What surely wouldn't have helped is having guns at home for me, or being able to purchase guns like they do in USA.

Thanks for reading


Bibliography:

1. Goodwin FK, Jamison KR. Manic-Depressive Illness. New York: Oxford University Press; 1990. [Ref list]




Return to “7 Years Journey to Life”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 2 guests

cron