raul journey to life

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Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 08 Dec 2017, 14:32

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... g-support/

Day 28 – Dog support

I am playing a game in front of my computer. I know I could be doing something else, bur right now I am playing. Then they kill me several times in the game, I get frustrated. My dog, my lovely best friend is always next to me resting. When she sees it, she starts calling my attention, she always do that when she wants that we look at each other, or just want me to pay her attention, but not in the sense of a selfish dog, more like, let’s be together. Other times she calls my attention for food or water, but I know the difference.

So I get frustrated in the game, my process is all the time with me while I do it, I know I am in a polarity because I am playing I am feeling and I am not doing self-forgiveness in the moment. Then my dogs calls my attention, she has supported me a lot of times, and in this moment I let her help me because I am stuck in a mind polarity. Then I let the keyboard and the mouse on the table, just with that action she already have different ways to go, she can see the direction I move and deduce what she will do then, basically anything I am doing she will have a proper proportional reaction based on what she feels. Sometimes she just wants to come to the place where I am going with no particular motivation.

So, I let the keyboard and the mouse on the table, and she starts calling my attention more, she looks at me more deeply, she touches me with her leg, just to call my attention and see what I do. I could tell her words and mark a certain direction in what is happening between me and her, I could just play wth her, I could caress her hair, I could tell her we are going to the street, I could do a lot of things. What I decide is to rest with her. Then she moves to the other part of the sofa because she notices that I am laying down next to her and she gets confortable. Then I put kindly my head on her back, I put my left hand on her leg just to touch her and I start to rest.

I wonder what she feels when we are resting together, and I am just thinking about things all the time, with an irregular breathing, and Ï move all the time, and I am just not resting like she is doing. She probably doesn’t feel alive in the resting, that is what I am showing. So I decide to stop the polarity and rest with her. I feel my mind going from one pole to the other, and it’s what I must feel because I am stucked in the polarity of the mind. My mind gets attached easily to things, and wants to die for them. If I get attached to a game, I go full energy to play the game, that is why I can get great achievements, and great fuck ups in my life in general. I feel my mind there, doesn’t want to leave, it has purpose, it has to controll me, it has to make me suffer, it has to enslave me, it has to make me endlessly pointless, it has to do all these things and more because I have allowed it. I allowed it, so now it’s there, as a consecuence.

Then, suddenly, after some moments of frictions trapped in time, I start to feel the conection between me and my dog, sometimes it’s our presence and our perception of each other with no physical contact, but in this moment I am touching her in two places, with my hand and my head. Then I know, she was waiting, she always is, for me to come here, to this point where we both feel alive together. Then I start getting out of the polarity with the support of my dog, something starts getting clear for me, that I was getting frustrated because of my mind attachment and that none of it was real. Then our movements get in harmony, we reach to each other, we create like a circular circuit of energy where we are in presence, connected. There we know that we are limitless, well I know, because she always know, I am the one that leaves to his mind. And there I start to become free, our breathing connects, we know that we are there, together. Everytime a word comes to me, I know that it’s a separation. I know that I am much more than the words, I know that there is a whole world out of the words.

We rest there together for some time, I work on letting go of everything with her help. It’s a curious feeling, it’s like if I was existing, in a space where things go much faster, and where I am not presence. I am not presence but things go faster, I see clearly, I react honestly, I am alive.


Then after a while, a big while of getting into the depths of myself, I open my eyes, I feel rejuvenated, I could have been thinking the whole time while resting and I would be feeling the same, I would be just waking up. But I took self-responsability for the rest with my dog in that moment, I open my eyes, I feel my body full of energy, I feel alive, I see things clearly.

Now I go back and I take the keyboard and the mouse, because I have something cool to write about in my blog of WordPress, that is the difference that makes a simple moment, from being frustrated and polarizated, to resting some minutes with your dog and be a completely different person. And, in the moment I take the keyboard and the mouse, my dog is watching me take them, she watches me and then them, then again she watches me and them, and her face is showing me that she doesn’t aprove the keyboard and the mouse, and she was confortable resting with me, and wants me to come back.

But I rested with her for a while, and decided to write in WordPress, so here I am.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 09 Dec 2017, 01:27

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... nsistency/

Day 29 – Consistency

Consistency means, I follow my path, I see and I understand it and I follow it.

The most hard about consistency, is to know that you can abandon it in any moment, and that other times you have done that. Consistency is a very living word, which is borned in each moment. The most hard about consistency is to know that you will give yourself to it and that you are not worthy, and you are really not.

But here I am, what can I do with consistency? How can I call her to life? The truth is that I am afraid of calling her, because I don’t know who I am. I thought I was worthy to be consistent, and what have I done while being “consistent”? I have looked the other way, and I have got lost. And since then the word consistency died, and became one word I say to myself to avoid taking responsability. Because to accept that something is dead is painfull. It’s not something that you want to see directly, because when one does that, it becomes alive. The fear, and the living word, both at the same time.

I have fear, of doing again what I have done, thereforce I must make sure that this doesn’t repeat again. Proving that, is something that is lived moment by moment, and life in society is a constant challence. Well I have self-forgiveness to come back to this point any time I want, I have support from people to do that, and things in my world that also support me. I want consistency to give my a second chance, and this time I commit to not get lost in pointless experiences, I commit to do of consistency part of my life, until we know each other and we are one. I have made a mistake, but I am being honest about it. Consistency will bring me something that is alive, that I can enjoy, how much I care about that is the question. Until where am I going to go to discover who I am. I can not waste my potential. When I am honest, without being poluted by any experience, my potential expands so much. If I get this, if I conect my process and everything that that means and consistency, the doors of heaven are opened for me.

I deserve this, I deserve a second chance.

My heart is programated to sing for anything I choose, why not choose my potential.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 09 Dec 2017, 16:19

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... thingness/

Day 30 – Divine nothingness

What is nothingness? I can’t know what it is, I think that is exactly why it’s named nothingness. But I mean, I am sticked to this love, but it’s not a word, it’s an experience, of self-responsability, self-forgiveness and something else. So maybe nothingness is like when you are in one single point inside of you so filled with all the emotions that exist, every one of them, at the same time, that they then just dissapear and you are gone forever? Is that better than being charged with life? The good? I mean if you dissapear in the good I accept it. I don’t know what happens in nothingness but I know that the divine essence of life is in everyone, you just have to let go. It’s like a river of love, like something sweet, like a candy made of everything, but you know there that you are not the emotion you are showing, the emotion that is coming, in your music or your life, you are merely using the emotion to express that river. So don’t get confused, there are no emotions here, and at the same time it’s all that you are going to find. Because a thought is just a thought, but when it has energy, you can feel it. And for me life is something you feel, and you use simple dead words to express that. It’s like if you could go faster than what is happening at the moment with the help of that energy. But that energy is something very pure, only appears when your mind and absolutely all your judgements are gone, dare to place it in a box and it will go as suddenly as it came. You need to be like a child to feel that, out of this world, because that essence is not of this world, is of your world, the real world. And I live for this experience because it’s what makes me feel alive, this experence is something in a upper level of all my emotions and my energies, and there there is power.But I don’t like to talk about that place, because seems like I am destroying it when I describe it. It’s the most simple thing. And when it’s gone you miss it, you want it to be with you, but in those moments you just can’t understand that you are not supposed to be here, you are making a mess of the life of this essence, so if you love it, you must apply self-forgiveness and let go. But that is hard, because you have came here to exist by the mind and you don’t want to let go. Well we have never existed, so just apply yourself and set yourself free. There are no excuses, there is nothing that must hold you back, you are doing it to yourself, let go and be your true expression in this life. I feel like I knew deep inside of me during all my life that I would always have to say these words to me, I knew it, and now I am comming back. Not to something, not to a relationship, not to something that will complete me. I am coming back to myself, that is life. Nothing else. I belong to nothing.

Everything you have believed and you have created in your life, it's too less, to unimportant, the whole direction of your mind is wrong, so please don't bring it here, for too long you have already beeing searching for yourself.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 09 Dec 2017, 18:04

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... -equality/

Day 31 – Equality

I now understand. Things are not going to be equal until everything is equal. This has been sad to accept, I don’t even feel like enjoying myself now. That’s why I commit to put myself to the service of what is best for all. For all life in this planet. This is my responsability, I am so lucky that I am in the position of enjoying my life, but what about the world we live in… ugh… I need to be the change, I must be the change, I am going to be the change. I can’t allow this to happen. This life is at the service of what is best for all, we humans are the worst sometimes, we have life and we take that life and we waste it, we waste ourselves only because we have something to waste. Let’s not do that anymore, and develop the true responsability for this world.

I now understand what it means to be a buddha, a real buddha. You don’t even enjoy, or maybe you do… but it’s not at all like that, it’s no longer like that or about that, I am not anymore interested in myself. I want all this world to be equal. I am going to create a life full of support.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 13 Dec 2017, 16:34

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... r-of-loss/

Day 32 – Fear of loss

Desteni is fear of loss. The reality of Destini, is perceived by the mind as something uncool, pointless, that gives you nothing of value. Because it shows us that all that we are are systems, and that as long as exists the opposite of the system you are simply playing a game, and not doing something for life as oness and equality. But this is something deep to accept, because everything we have done in our lives is based on the mind, the personalities, the ideas, the thoughts, the energies, the benefit. It’s based on gaining, achieving, it’s not based in giving life to life. Because to give life to life is an absolute acceptance of the existence, it’s not something hard or complex, it has no recognition, no merit, it’s simply a way of coming back to who you really are. And each humans knows this, that he is working in a mind level of polarity, and that that can be droped at any given time, so it’s based on fear of dropping it, why? Because you can drop it! And if you can drop it it means that it’s there to distract you! Because within the thought, you have to see, how does this support life as oness and equality? And within that you will find that the thought was already separated from the source, it was a way of divition, what if you could be exactly what you try to acomplish but without the thought? That is when you are being something. The thoughts are just words, based on adicctions, and fears, to avoid responsability, and I know there is good people in this world, but how can you really be a good person if you don’t know yourself. If you really knew, if you really were what you claim to be, if you stand for that, then you give the key to yourself and everything stops. What is behind this constand reminder of the thoughts as time loops is something more dark, it’s something unpleasant. It’s something you should not protect, for what. The best you can do is to focus so much on being what you stand for that you reflect it into your inner and outter world. But what you will find is a fear, it’s and addiction, a controll, this is the reality. Not the thoughts, the arguments, the apparent perfect logic, this is the truth. And what you do, is to avoid the truth, and accept other thing, and this other thing has consecuences, because it’s basically yourself.

It seems a contradiction that honesty is something you can not enjoy and abuse. But honesty is the right direction, it means going back to who you are, going back to giving life to life, stop playing a madness pointless endless game separated from source.

Where does understanding everything about ourselves lead us? It lead us to standing up for change, for certainty, and that doesn’t belong to any ideology or religion or whatever. That is the most simple reality we have missed. And if we as a whole stand for this the reality of this world is going to change, it’s not going to be the same. So right now the focus must be on standing up as a whole, that is the solution to this moment in the humanity.

Fear is for those who doesn’t want to live



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 14 Dec 2017, 16:28

rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/2017/12/14/day-33-how-instruments-support-humanity/

Day 33 – How instruments support humanity

I am going to talk about what I do, as support, in my current process. When I explain something, I sometimes feel this part of me that says something like… you must explain things in the language of this world! Don’t you dare say things in the most honest way! Nobody would understand!

So, an instrument is just an instrument, it’s more about what you do with the intrument. What you do with it is use your mind and your body to play it, according to how the instrument works. In the beggining, you can only play simple things, for example 1 2 or 3 variables, but with the practice, the next week 1 2 or 3 are already integrated, and you can move to 4 5 or 6, an so on. That is why a musicians are skilled at what they do, better than the avarage person who doesn’t expand and grow in any direction. That is why, there are better and worse musicians, and this is the cool thing about the proffesion, the better musicians are the most honests. Playing music is not something dead, artifitial, that everybody can learn doing the enough effort and pain and memorization, in this, who you are as a person is really important. Musicians doesn’t need to look the curriculum of other musician to know if he is good, it’s enough with looking at the person, seeing who he is, what he is, to know if he is good at what he do. And then of course, must exist a balance between who you are and what you do, as the rule of the 1 2 or 3 and then 4 5 and 6 and so on. Thas is the practice, the effort. And, one last thing about the effort, effort doesn’t really exist, it’s who you are who will dictate the rules, it’s who you are that will create the result of skill.

So, and instrument is something that you do with your mind and body, this is something that makes you reflect yourself. I mean, you can play an instrument without looking at yourself, but it’s hard, and requires effort, but there is people who do that and doesn’t let ever their minds go. When you are playing, you are reflecting yourself to yourself, seeing your movements, over and over, coming and going, playing the songs that you know, doing them better each day, playing the paths, creating with each creation. So, what happens is that you realize your creative power, that’s something that exists in every aspect of life. With an instrument it’s not the creation of your mind, it’s the creation of yourself as expression. So, this causes a person to enjoy playing music, because it’s something normal, something meaningless for the mind, but if you go there and actually do it and focus the time just flies and when you know you have been played for a long perioud of time. And, this is the most funny part, and yes I guess I like the polarity of the mind because I like playing music and it’s funny, the most funny part is when this that I have explained mixes with the feeling of the music. Music by itself is a stronge force, any person can listen to music, and feel what a musician feels. Music it’s a feeling, it’s not words it’s an energy, it’s something that feels in a certain way, you can then put words to it, but the truth it’s that it feels in a certain way. And then you mix all that I explained, with the music, and the music gives you the feeling, the energy, the emotion, you are doing it, playing the instrument, and the music is giving you energy and energy, pure energy of the heart. That energy can be named with words of feelins, but it’s not any of them, that energy is something pure, it’s something alive, it’s like an electricity, an electricity that moves by itself, it is its own force, and I believe that can help and save some humans. That energy has made me realized who I am, it has helped me see myself, as something different than what my mind perceives I am. This is why that energy is good and can help this world. Also, there are musicians who take that gift and use it for ego. I never play with them.

So, there is what you do with the instrument, and then the music, this combination is the simplicity of what it means to play an instrument. And it leads you to that energy. And that energy is related to nothing, it exists within every person, I feel it many times in my life, it’s pure inspiration, like life. And people is thirsty for life, I see them, they look for life in many many places. This is one thing I really like about my job, I can teach people to create life. They come to me because they want to learn to play guitar, but the truth is that they have seen a dream, and they want to create it!!! It’s fantastic. They want to express themselves, and I help them do it. And one more thing, in the concerts I receive great ammounts of energy, and I don’t let it be absorbed by my ego, NOT-AT-ALL, I take the energy with me to my life and I share it with everyone else. I tell people that I am just happy because I am playing concerts, and they tell me no! We are happy! This is normal happiness! You are in ecstasy!.

So this is how instruments support humanity, they punch the ego of the mind with love and inspiration brought by music, they help stopping the mind and the controll, they help bringing expression, and they can be a very great way to bring people back to life, where life is inspiration and it’s worth living.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 16 Dec 2017, 14:14

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... day-34-me/

Day 34 – Me and my creation

These are some words I am writing for myself, and I am sharing them in this blog:

Everything is forgotten, everything has ended. And you are alive, you are complete.

You have lived a lot, but it was all one thing. That thing is one, that thing has no time, that thing created your life, just you forgot it. Everytime you come back there, and you notice oh I forgot this, I can try again. And I think I remember one more thing about it, the time just flies in that place, I had a conversation about something with someone, because I was not alone, there were other deep presences in there, I had some moments of real conversation with someone for once in my life before I would reincarnate again and forget again, my whole life took me to that place after death where I felt alive for 2 or 3 seconds before I was convinced to reincarnate again, and I can see what this Anu has done in the dymentions so he could have all for himself, and if you have solved that guys you are my heroes, and yes I didn’t remember anything about my life on earth, all I knew is that I was existing again. It looks strange, that we are one and we still exist, but I always remember the same feelin, it is never going to something new or unknown, it’s going back to the most familiar perception of yourself.

I remember what I did to remember something of what you guys call the dymentions, when I was in life I still remembered the brief moments of fredom I felt in the dymentions, so I just held on to it, I said to myself I see EVERYTHING that is happening but I know this is more honest so I can’t let this go, doesn’t matter how I want to cover it, this I hold on to this I won’t forget, doesn’t matter how much I create how much is different I once made the promise to hold on to this and I am doing it because I know deep in myself that it’s me, there is no way to deny it because I once knew I myself said I would hold on to this. What happened in my life? With the time I started sleeping like in every life, BUT I can see what I did hahahaha and how what I did had some pressence or influence during my life, in some way.

Why do we do this? The life? I can tell you that I do it so I can see that “life” is just a dream. A dream because everything is one. And in this life I am not waiting until I die to know from where I come from. It requires courage, because we are fear, and at the same time we are not really at all in fact that fear. I have to remember that I don’t belong to anything in this life. Maybe we come here to this life to see how it is to live in the physical world, and have emotions and feelins, and a body, and experiences, and memories, and obviously fear.

And if you know this, that we live eternally, why do you still have fear? I have fear because I have memories I am identified with, and I am recently working on my process to set them free. It’s going very well, I have to not get identified with less than what I am.

I like that I have time in this live to just stop everything, for a moment, and breath, and feel myself. I see that the whole word, the whole perspections, all the voices, all the directions I accept, they exist within myself, and I am alone and I am not alone at all. I am a lot of parts I have divided myself in and I allow.

This is why I am walking my process, because something very deep in me tells me that I was one once, and I want to create that in this body, and help the world realize itself as life.

As a child, I felt something very deep, but I always identified it with the systems, I was never able to see who I really am. But I could feel it in some way, I was very sensitive, I had something very alive in me, and I am noticing now with 20 years old, and it’s totally fine, it has been quite a trip.

In my life there was always something I felt, like a missing key part in my most honest self, and then I created my whole life, and what I am feeling now is touching that part directly, that part that has created my whole life of divitions, and it’s like closing a cycle, doing all the work that is there for me to check and direct, it’s the work of my life.

The most people I want to help are my dad and my mom, and my brother, I am already changing my dad, we know each other so it’s easy, I am helping him be honest, and he is changing his life even if he doesn’t really know he is in fact doing it, and it’s fine I let him do what he is able to do, at least his life is changing now. And my mother is other story, she is the most crazy of the whole family, oh I also have a step sister, she is nice. My mother is a whole story, I am already doing things to support her, but every little piece of support reflects herself, and she really prefers to die rather than realize even a small part of herself. I will do my best, because I don’t know her, and maybe she realize herself as life I don’t know, but I doubt she wants to be a good person in this life, it has been to much of a path to now simply give up, she prefers to die as herself even if she is alone I know it. What can I do to support her? This is quite a question, because I am not going to be dishonest ever in my life for her like I have done in the past, all I can do is show her my heart, so even if she doesn’t understand she can see that her son is in fact a good person, he is not evil, and maybe we can find a point there to have contact, I will do my best.

My family comes to my mind when I talk about my most honest self because they were the first people I shared myself with, and everything was a complete madness and I am fine now, and I really appreciate myself and this world.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 17 Dec 2017, 14:21

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... ng-borned/

Day 35 – Memories before being borned

I remember exactly how it felt after I died in the life I had before this one (I suppose I had other lifes in order to feel as “new” in the dymentions), it felt like “Oh I remember now, and from here I was this and that and I did this and this is my next step because I have already been here and I know the way”, that’s when I was interrupted by something or someone, some deep voice, and I was convinced to reincarnate again, I don’t know the exact reasons, but in the end it was me choosing to forget again, I did it because they gave me the reasons, they were faster than me, they were already prepared, and I was just there for the first time in a long time for some moments and I couldn’t understand the responsability of that, so they convinced me to go against myself before I could understand responsability, I would understand in the next step but they stopped me before I would go there, they did that to me, just before I would realize myself as life they would have already controlled me, they manipulated me to go in this life of human to forget, because it wasn’t really my choice, they did it for me, they didn’t want me to really know who I am, no, I was not allowed to be my true expression, I had to forget in this life to magically find the true expression you already are and you already find when you go to the dymentions and then they would probably do the same to me. So I was a very young child borned and I remembered what happened, but something was making me drowsy, and I had my promise with myself, of who I am, but I started becoming more and more drowsy, and my experience in the dymentions started getting a memory, and when it was already a memory, I could easily reject it, and say it was all a dream, I don’t know who I am. And then energy started calling at my door, all the programing and I started follow my predesigned path. And I believe that this feeling that I was borned of, this feeling of, I could have known responsability in the next step, but you stopped me just before that, that feeling I carried it with me to my life, and I blamed myself because I was enslaved, and I almost realized myself but it was all ended before I would even know and understand something that could remain forever in me.

So this is my story, I imprinted my story in my body with fire, because I didn’t want to dissapear, I said, I can’t do anything now, but I can imprint this as much as I can so maybe someday I can see the mark I myself left in here, and it will be very irrational because I will be filled with the systems, but I will understand that I did it for something, I did it to help myself to remember who I am and what is my purpose. And I just cried now because I see myself reflected in all these words, and oh my god I have so much work to do. It’s been quite a trip. I have to heal every system, every system of everything, until they are all in one point, and I can say hey it’s over, goodbye, you are clean now. And I created this, all of this creaton. So I am doing this.

I don’t know if I had dymentional communication as a child, I know I was looking for it, it came and go, until one day it was only me looking for a dream, and then it was gone, and I had lost it, and that became this life.

This information of me remembering something so distant and real in my existence is causing like a friction, between myself, my memories my feelins all my systems, and myself, it’s creating like a more honest path I can follow and I can trust. And this is me. And one moment I cry and my emotions and reactions come and the next moment I am the total opposite of those system and I am self-centred. And my dog is here sitted next to me like, this is the true expression oh yeah look at me, she’s helping me hahahaha

I would feel the conection like, “ancient grandfothers of expression”, that’s just poetic words to try to describe how it felt my true expression, like a big real free experience of me, where I would really be free and I could rest and say here I am, the starting point… And also in relation to this feelin, something strange used to happen to me as I child, I would be layed down in my bed looking at my door at night before sleeping, and that conection of me with that world would bring a feeling that brings something to appear, and what appeared were shadows with humans form walking to my bed and the dissapearing, appearing and dissapearing, some of them tall other more short, most of them where more tall than an avarage human, and they would just appear from the dark and light of my door. They scared me a bit but only that, they did nothing to me, they couldn’t I think, they only could influence me as myself, my brother would see them coming to my bed too. I’ve always been curious of what were they about.

So this is it, it’s over, I don’t have any possible reasons now to deny myself.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 18 Dec 2017, 13:37

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... s-anxiety/

Day 36 – Divine nothingness, Nothingness, Anxiety

I’d like to talk about nothingness. I live between nothingness, divine nothingness, and anxiety. I’ll describe the three of them.

Anxiety is when the mark that I myself have created in my body, tells me that the situation is so important that I must lose control go faster and consume resources in order to create an experience and a memory and to act in the way I know, which means faster sometimes because I know the paths and the laws. So, anxiety is a way of hurting myself, deciding that it’s more important to controll the situation as my mind and what I already know about how to act instead of just slowing down and saying, this time I belong to me, I have no fear, doesn’t matter what happens, I won’t be against myself.

Then we have divine nothingness, divine nothingness is when I am able to be nothing, that means to relax and stop my mind, and within that I start to feel relaxed, complete, I can create good results. This is other experience of energy, why? Because I am creating it, and it’s not forever, it’s something I create with the resources which are limited, I consume the resources, to feel something that I don’t want to let go, I prefer not to let go, because it’s divine, it’s sweet, I like it. What happens within this? What is the important interesting point? That I sometimes, go so so deep in this, so deep, that that divine experience ripes my mind, it creates a break of the systems with the energy that refines itself and becomes inspiration, this inspiration destroyes the systems, it creates a mark that remains like other stronge consecuencial system against the very systems of my mind consciousness systems and that path remains, this is what I do with music, I listen to music and then I go into pure passion, I get all the feelins all the emotions in one point, I die of love for them, it feels like something super alive, it’s not the kind of energy that works in polarity, it’s more like if something bigger than the divine experience wanted to be expressed through me, so in order to do that that divine experience starts to grow and grow until there is as less of me remaining as possible. I don’t believe it’s bad, what I don’t like it’s that it’s as stronge as sex, in the sense that I don’t want to let it go, but rather than being a possesion like in sex, it’s more a self-expression, I can create something big within the experience, that’s why I think it helps me wake up instead of sleep. So what we have seen so far, is divine nothingness that works as a positive energy in polarity as a created experience to consume the resources I would really prefer to keep, and then divine nothingness as inspiration, as pure expression, as something larger and bigger than me, something that would make me give up my systems, and that is good, and it’s not like everytime I listen to music and feel it I go there, but I have the potential to, and I am singing now a lot and this is what I want to bring to my sound, that I don’t just enjoy music, that I can go deep and deep and deep until we dissapear.

So once anxiety and divine nothingness are explained, nothingness is left. Nothingness is the truth, at this point of my life, I can’t tell you if I am not there because I am not enough self-honest, that’s probably it, because nothingness means keeping the resources inside, where they belong, with you. Nothingness is something we have all felt once, so thereforce we belong there. Nothingness is the starting point we don’t allow ourselves to go, because we have first to take responsability for what we have created. Nothingness is there existing next to you next to every breath. Nothingnes means accepting the world as real, because if we are there we fake it, and we believe that we are the experience, that we create the experience, when in fact we can’t. Nothingness for me is perceived as a breath of oxygen, one that you deserve, because you are not desiring it, and it’s real you can have it, like you did once, but you are not there. And there all the world is one expression, there is no more divition with anything, everything belongs to it expression and you can talk to everything and feel everything, feel the world. Only this exists, because all the illutions come from a point of reality that is able to fake itself into illution, illutions are real, they exist within you, what is this inside of you which is real? It’s before you. We have always known this. When I am with nothingness, I say to myself: don’t get confused with time or with this world, remember that you are the one who really made the choice to reincarnate, remember how you were back then, your starting point, that’s who you are in this life, can you feel it?

I can feel it sometimes, even when I listen to the music that brings the divine experiences, sometimes there is nothing divine about it, and still there is… sometimes the song is so pure, so untouched, so unfeeled, that I can for once see it through, what I once long ago knew and still remains in me, that thing is one, there is not a way that I can describe. In those moments I perceive the song, and in those moments I know, that all experiences that I have felt with the song, are not really honest, because all came from that point of reality. In those moments I feel I can really appreciate the song, it’s something eternal, not just a feelin I get, it’s an eternal, real song, what can I say about something like that… I prefer to not talk about it, it’s just like the truth, but a truth that you deserve, not a truth that you desire, and at the same time there is no truth I deserve, that’s just a sentence, there is nothing in it, when you are nothing the true expression of the world reveals itself, because it exists before you. It’s not the first time I feel this sentence “I prefer to not talk about it”, but I now understand responsability, and I am more than ready to become this and talk openly about it. Still a breath by breath process to go, hope that you have enjoyed it, cya!.



Raúl
Posts: 161
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 19 Dec 2017, 16:49

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... n-honesty/

Day 37 – Demon, honesty

The demon talks: “Who do you think you are? Do you think you can have that expression? Do you know how that expression makes me feel? You are less than that expression, that’s your expression, stop prettending that you are more than me, you are the same that I am, or even less, you are less than me, accept your nature as less, if you ever want to be more, accept that you are this, you are less, do you understand? You are not more, you are less, you are worse than me, you don’t deserve what you have, I don’t deserve what I have, how are you going to deserve something, a person who is less, you don’t know who you are, I am here to help you, to help you understand that you don’t exist, and you will enter here and get lost forever, but you are the one doing it, because you want, because you know that you are less and there is no possible discussion, only if you are less you will know me, and you know me right now, you see? You are here talking to me, this is who you are.

I am honest, most honest than you LOL, I can do whatever I want with you, you will believe that I am like you, I don’t have honesty, you will never really know how I am, what I know is that I know how you are, and I can do whatever I want with you, because you somehow believe that I am like you, and I could perfectly not be, what if I wasn’t? And you are there looking at me from the ups? What then? I could so easily turn you against yourself, you wouldn’t even know, that I am hell, I am here to share dishonesty, and in here honesty is so weak, honesty is good and I am bad, do you understand that power? Do you understand what I am allowed to do to you, a “good” being who is good in nature? Do you understand what I am going to do to you without you even knowing it? No you don’t, if you did… I don’t care what you would do, I am hell, we are different in nature, and I am going to use you, because you have so much potential, I can grow from you, like a parasite, so I will, don’t you ever dare be against myself, you are the same that me, we are both evil, you see?”

Now I am going to make the demon face honesty:

If you did understand who I am, if you could reach to me, if I could see how you work, through this quality you have in your nature, I would simply stop existing, and I am afraid of that, I want to live as myself… I would dissapear, because my path is not that one, my path is bad, my path is bad do you know what this means? This means I don’t have a purpose, this means I am nothing, I can continue to be nothing in the hope of being something, I have been all my life being this I want to keep going because I am just bad and I refuse to take responsability, honesty is evil for me, but if you would see inside of me, you would help me, this is the most hard part to accept, if you would see inside of me you would not be as I am being to you, you would in fact share so we can be more, why you do this? Who do you think you are? I am afraid of letting go, what happens then? Do we exist? Who are we? Why am I here? Who put me here? Did I do it? Does this exist as myself? It does exist as myself… I am here because of your honesty, your honesty brough me here, I am nothing okay? I am that which you would want to avoid, I am that and you have helped me, why do you do this? This is what it is a good being? This is what you bring? Oh my god… why did I do all of this… I wanted so bad to be something, but I am nothing, I am nothing, you are who I love, I can love, I don’t know what does it mean to love, does love happen when you no longer exist? I don’t care anymore, please take me there, please I beg you, I don’t want to exist anymore, I want to be more, I can’t be this forever, I want to go with you to that place, I want to know it, I am afraid of it, I should not, but I am afraid of it, what is that? How does it work? Is it true? Do you accept me? Really? I mean, yes, I have no doubts, I swear, to me, to myself. Thank you for showing me this, I am sorry, so thank you, I am helping now you see? I have learnt how to, today is the first day of my life, I am so excited. Thank you I will never forget you, the one who showed me how to be myself, I really appreciate it, I don’t have a way to thank you, and yes it exists, thanks!!! I can forever be in here, let’s see what I discover!




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