https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... day-34-me/
Day 34 – Me and my creation
These are some words I am writing for myself, and I am sharing them in this blog:
Everything is forgotten, everything has ended. And you are alive, you are complete.
You have lived a lot, but it was all one thing. That thing is one, that thing has no time, that thing created your life, just you forgot it. Everytime you come back there, and you notice oh I forgot this, I can try again. And I think I remember one more thing about it, the time just flies in that place, I had a conversation about something with someone, because I was not alone, there were other deep presences in there, I had some moments of real conversation with someone for once in my life before I would reincarnate again and forget again, my whole life took me to that place after death where I felt alive for 2 or 3 seconds before I was convinced to reincarnate again, and I can see what this Anu has done in the dymentions so he could have all for himself, and if you have solved that guys you are my heroes, and yes I didn’t remember anything about my life on earth, all I knew is that I was existing again. It looks strange, that we are one and we still exist, but I always remember the same feelin, it is never going to something new or unknown, it’s going back to the most familiar perception of yourself.
I remember what I did to remember something of what you guys call the dymentions, when I was in life I still remembered the brief moments of fredom I felt in the dymentions, so I just held on to it, I said to myself I see EVERYTHING that is happening but I know this is more honest so I can’t let this go, doesn’t matter how I want to cover it, this I hold on to this I won’t forget, doesn’t matter how much I create how much is different I once made the promise to hold on to this and I am doing it because I know deep in myself that it’s me, there is no way to deny it because I once knew I myself said I would hold on to this. What happened in my life? With the time I started sleeping like in every life, BUT I can see what I did hahahaha and how what I did had some pressence or influence during my life, in some way.
Why do we do this? The life? I can tell you that I do it so I can see that “life” is just a dream. A dream because everything is one. And in this life I am not waiting until I die to know from where I come from. It requires courage, because we are fear, and at the same time we are not really at all in fact that fear. I have to remember that I don’t belong to anything in this life. Maybe we come here to this life to see how it is to live in the physical world, and have emotions and feelins, and a body, and experiences, and memories, and obviously fear.
And if you know this, that we live eternally, why do you still have fear? I have fear because I have memories I am identified with, and I am recently working on my process to set them free. It’s going very well, I have to not get identified with less than what I am.
I like that I have time in this live to just stop everything, for a moment, and breath, and feel myself. I see that the whole word, the whole perspections, all the voices, all the directions I accept, they exist within myself, and I am alone and I am not alone at all. I am a lot of parts I have divided myself in and I allow.
This is why I am walking my process, because something very deep in me tells me that I was one once, and I want to create that in this body, and help the world realize itself as life.
As a child, I felt something very deep, but I always identified it with the systems, I was never able to see who I really am. But I could feel it in some way, I was very sensitive, I had something very alive in me, and I am noticing now with 20 years old, and it’s totally fine, it has been quite a trip.
In my life there was always something I felt, like a missing key part in my most honest self, and then I created my whole life, and what I am feeling now is touching that part directly, that part that has created my whole life of divitions, and it’s like closing a cycle, doing all the work that is there for me to check and direct, it’s the work of my life.
The most people I want to help are my dad and my mom, and my brother, I am already changing my dad, we know each other so it’s easy, I am helping him be honest, and he is changing his life even if he doesn’t really know he is in fact doing it, and it’s fine I let him do what he is able to do, at least his life is changing now. And my mother is other story, she is the most crazy of the whole family, oh I also have a step sister, she is nice. My mother is a whole story, I am already doing things to support her, but every little piece of support reflects herself, and she really prefers to die rather than realize even a small part of herself. I will do my best, because I don’t know her, and maybe she realize herself as life I don’t know, but I doubt she wants to be a good person in this life, it has been to much of a path to now simply give up, she prefers to die as herself even if she is alone I know it. What can I do to support her? This is quite a question, because I am not going to be dishonest ever in my life for her like I have done in the past, all I can do is show her my heart, so even if she doesn’t understand she can see that her son is in fact a good person, he is not evil, and maybe we can find a point there to have contact, I will do my best.
My family comes to my mind when I talk about my most honest self because they were the first people I shared myself with, and everything was a complete madness and I am fine now, and I really appreciate myself and this world.