raul journey to life

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Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 26 Jan 2018, 01:09

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... t-of-life/

Day 58 – Eternal beauty in the art of life

I am going to say something, and I don’t care what anybody say. I know I was not perfect in my life, but I am the same child I was once.

Everything, everything!!! Is about the world, it wasn’t about me. I was so pure, that I accepted the whole world inside of me, and I was perfect! I mean for me, the most important thing, was to make sure for myself that I was myself, it was to be this that can be shared with everyone, to be something that can live eternally, or feels like it. I am not saying I have been perfect, I am saying that I stopped being perfect the moment I accepted that something was wrong with me. And this is the most important revelation for me, there is nothing wrong with me!! There was never something wrong with me!! I started treating this world like that the moment that I accepted that I was that, influenced by this world!! But I am myself, and this is the way to support this world, because this is everything for me, and this is pure life, and with this every way of support is possible for me, there is nothing missing in me! Who told me that there was something wrong for me?? Seriously, I don’t want to say that I am perfect, or I am this or that, but it’s what I am! If I stand for myself, I won’t ever do anything wrong! I will treat others as myself! I will be able to bring something that I can call god, and can create all possibilities. I just need to sing, or play guitar, or dance, and suddenly I can be everything I have ever dreamed of, everything, it’s there for me, it’s who I am, and I become, I live, something says THIS IS MY PLACE!! And I won’t ever be against this, because it’s the best way to support me and this world, I don’t care if you say that it’s just energy, or you say that this is not going to solve this world, it has solve my world!! Do you know what am I talking about? This could be when I help other person to be free forever. I just feel, like if I had solved my missing piece, that it was one, that was created by me since I was a child, and I am again that pure self I believed myself unworthy of, and I am here to express it. If you don’t know what I am talking about, just dance, with all your heart, do art with all your heart, and suddenly god is there, and you are going always to remember it, it’s like if everything was restaured… I don’t know what other way to express… For me it is like if I was playing and singing and suddenly, the movements, are all in harmony, something, a pressence comes to me, the time stops, and it’s just there, my heart is there and I am everything I have ever dreamed of, I am that that I once gave up, and I cried very much for that in my life, I believe that because I knew deep inside that it was wrong that I treated myself like that… There is a song that says “I cry, when angels deserve to die.” And that is me. And we are all angels. And I was singing, and suddenly I was everything I have ever dreamed of, for real, I would have created a whole mind, and everything about it would have been below my true self, I would not have my real voice.

I am special, not because I say it, because I am, and there is nothing wrong with accepting that that is myself, there is nothing selfish with it, it is me!! I deserve it! Do you imagine a world with people being this expression? It would be what we are looking for. I just don’t care about what anybody says about me being special, I have been my whole life being special, and I am more than open to create a better world, and stop the abuse, so fuck off.

For me the journey has been easy, I just had to follow every step I denied, the path was the opposite of me, as I was the opposite of this world. I am not saying I am done or something, simply sharing what I have felt today while singing and discovering that I have the most beautiful voice I could ever imagined, and I always did. And I will never create in my life something else than this.

It’s like if I could look into my eyes, and see other person, that is the most real me, and I have dreamed of a lot, because it’s just everything, finally, after all the conflicts of life. And it’s like I look into my eyes and there is something so big, something I was once, and after I have felt this is even easier for me to just stop my systems, just for what!! For what?! I am free.

Just sharing my joy, cya!!

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Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 27 Jan 2018, 17:29

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... tion-as-1/

Day 59 – Communication as 1

Hi, what’s up? I have remembered something curious that I felt as a child, before I created anxiety. I was in my house and suddenly I thought, if life is just this, this simplicity, this starting point of the life that created me, or that love or god or whatever, if I am here, alone, how many other people have been in the same point of existence? This one, that feels like your eternal nature? So I had the same thought when I was a very young child. I am here existing, alone, is there any other being that has felt the same existence point in their minds? And the point is, we are alone there, but we aren’t because we know that other people have seen the exact same thing, and from there I think to myself, how can we communicate? Where would we go, if we know that we are never going to talk to each other because we are alone, but we are at the same point? And the answer for me, for the people that we don’t know each other but we have connected through a point that does not exist, the answer is several answers because we could go into different directions because of our minds, so, what is common between all of us? Eternity, we answer that if we are there we go to eternity, and that’s all that exists so then nothing is needed, we are just in this life to enjoy and create something supportive, and there is people who will give their lifes for this truth, life bless them!!

Maybe what I remember before being borned is this, this communication only about myself that leads me to communicate with something that does not exist, but I doubt it, because anu and these interdymentional beings exist as themselves, so maybe I will only find out once I die and go into the starting of the starting point more and I know a different world. Probably. And I don’t care, all I have ever wanted was to express life in this life.

But I do remember belonging in there, in my home, a place where I am a complete universe in an eternal storm of real existence, and I just can’t find another way to describe it. I was so vast, and there is a whole world there because there is reincarnation and a lot of things, so it’s not like if I was alone, in there, in fact how would I possibly feel alone in this eternal individual me that I am, because it’s just what I am, 1.

So I believe that death is when you start having realizations as 1 until you meet real existence and all the different parts of you, could that be?

Just sharing the point that opened up when I remembered that I as a child thought the exact same thing, how would I communicate with other people who are alone.


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Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 04 Feb 2018, 17:14

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... lizations/

Day 60 – Life realizations

Hello!! I am a bit busy right now in my life, that’s why I don’t blog daily as I used to, anyway I see everything that pops up in my mind, and I work with t, in real time, facing real life situations.

I am going to share here some of the advancements I am doing in my life, to learn how to support myself to be myself.

For example, I have always had anxiety, I would feel the energy in my stomach moving in a certain direction, and always telling me than it’s more than me, that I don’t have a choice, that I have to be that energy, that that’s me even if I suffer the consecuences, and stuff alike.

What I have realized is, energy is not going to be always eternally there scaring me, if I am standing as myself every moment I can, in real time. So what I do is simply create in my life the story I want to create, the reactions I want to have, the things I want to feel, the support I want to give, the forgiveness I want to accept, the justice that I need to stand for, the guidance I can provide if I stand for myself and show people with no fear who I am.

I have never, never, considered myself someone that can guide, even if I, very deep hidded within myself, knew that I had something of value to show, and if I am honest to this day I find hard to guide myself, but even if that is true, I have seen that I can do a loooot of support and guidance for people in my life, if I live the courage to stand for myself and for my real expression with no fear anxiety, and not judging myself.

I really would prefer to not be completely honest, but since I share what I have, I am going to simply say my process as it is, as I do, because I don’t want life to be something to be judged and hidded, I prefer that we all share realities. My reality is that I am very insecure person, I like that people accept me, because that way I can get the strenght I can not provide for myself alone. But that is a never ending road. What I have realized is that, in the moments I trully life, in the moments I am courage, in those moments of facing the energies I feel and the systems, if I manage to stand for myself and be my real expression with no fear, I blow minds of people. I become a pleassure of a person to be met, because it’s just what I am, a very nice person, I like to show that I have nothing to lose, and I have a lot to give, I like to show what is really important for me, that life is not normal. But this only happens when I achieve victories for myself, and I know what a victory is beause I have felt so so much defeats. A victory is when you change the reality of this world, for good, you stand for your own unique gift and you show it with no fear, and you realize the power you have to personally support this world and the life in it.

I’ve had a lot of realizations in relation to my anxiety. It wasn’t so much about the energy itself that was causing me pain. It was about habits, about health, about fear, about acting in the moments I have to act, about having the courage to grow and expand as a real person, about trusting reality, and stop participations with everything that does not support this world. I have realized that this world is basically divided between people who support everything, and people who don’t. People who doesn’t support get stucked in their own minds, in one point, and I don’t like them because they judge me, because they judge themselves but they don’t care, they are used to the pain. And what I want to bring to that is that I deserve to not judge myself, because you deserve the same, and we must realize the power within us to support and direct this world, this world is here for ourselves, it’s basically ourselves, and the energies you are feeling, they are there to be directed, not to posses you, if we direct them, they are going to find the way to support, because they are not currently being support beause they are our past, and the time has come to set ourselves free, and understand that we are in ourselves, and we have a purpose in this life. Nobody, nobody, can say that perfection exists, or can say that he has been all his life perfect. And what I want to bring when I am so full of inspiration that I explode, is the potential for us to realize ourselves, not the denial of who we have become, more like the acceptance and the forgiveness and the opportunity and the gift and the eternal life that we will stand for. I have always known this, eternal life is something that you live each day, it will be alive if you are alife, it’s a living experience, you are creating it, as you are supporting this world, as you are that which you are seeking, and you are the power to create what is best for all and to grow each day and have more realizations. I am saying all this, but really there is a huge work for me to be done. I simply share what I have.

I still living what to stand for courage means, this word I will stand for, and I will take care of it for myself to be more alive each day.

So, what else can I tell you? I am working with my anxiety. One thing that has support me a lot is my voice and singing. My voice generated a lot of energies that I am learning to manage and guide and support. I work with my voice each day, sing and singing and supporting myself in the moments that I feel negativity and enjoying the opportunities that open up. If one day the responsability comes to me, where there is a loooot of people hearing my voice, I am going to show them what is all about. I am more than happy with my work and my life in general. I forgot for some days beause of work how benefitial is for me to express myself in words in here, I feel the same that when I live my potential. I create my own fredom, my own life, my destiny, my support, my courage, and I, the only one who can, stand for that each day.

This is Raúl, cya!!!

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Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 06 Feb 2018, 19:07

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... ans-to-me/

Day 61 – What life means to me

I don’t want to say with this that I am perfect, that I am in every part of me, doing what is best for all, probably I won’t ever be completely that, perfect. And I don’t want to be in a chase for perfection, I want to do what I can with what I have, and within that I am supporting this world inmensely.

So, I sometimes, now that I am here, inside myself, I sometimes feel things, I am going to explain some of them now. I believe that we all are support, the real self of everybody is support for themselves and this world. So, now that I am here, the self-supportive vertion of myself, the one that wants to grow, that wants to have the biggest heart he can possibly deserve, for the whole existence, the one that is invincible because he is ruled by the laws of truth, honesty, and so he has learnt from where does he come from and how to never be defeated, even if it’s the most challenging road of our lives. So now that I am here, the real me, the one that I once was, the one that is commited, the one that will face the existence where he is living, now that I am here, I can create anything I possibly desire so, what do I do in this moment? For example, in one moment I was thinking only about feeeling myself, about giving myself a whole moment of honesty to just see and perceive my surroundings because, even if it seems unreal, distant, what if one day I am not here anymore and it was very, very important for me to simply be in a moment, unconditionally, and watch everything, a reality, feel it, be it, just be one with all this moment of existence, is there anything wrong with this thought? No. Why seems less real that I decide that for myself for that moment? What if I really in fact one day watch that moment and I can remember how it felt, and know that I experimented the reality of it? I want my life full of moments like that, moments that seem meaningless for most of people if you talk about them, but in my personal life, my story, the one that only exists in me, it’s important for me to do that so, who can even say an opinion about that? I am the one that is going to die someday, me, so I must see things in life from my perspective, I came here alone and I will leave alone.

Who decided that there are more important thoughts than others? That some of them are more real, and some of them are not? I am going to tell you what I think. It’s like if people, all of us, had a third person in ourselves, that is “the way that most of people see it”, and I remember how I implanted that in myself when I was very young. I remember being sitted in my room, and noticing “oh, there has been a change in my solitute, people judge me, so now I am alone and I behave like if they were seeing me, that’s okay”. This is how it happened to me, and I see a lot of people who judge their thoughts according to that. And it’s not something original, it’s something we accept, because this world is this world, and we are afraid of being alone in this world, but we are here for that, to change it, to support it. I have learnt how to not judge my thoughts, and to learn how to do that, I must start judging them, because I am already judging them. Tricky isn’t it? The reality for me, is that each thought has its own story to tell, there are not thoughts more important than others, every one of them will give something to the final result, and if you want an advice, you must look within yourself if you are looking at thoughts from your own perspective, being a free being, or it’s the perspective that you have accepted to be accepted by others. One of the two was original to you, the other one doesn’t even make us happy sometimes, it’s simply a way of fitting in this world.

For me live is something that I live alone in my mind. With everyone, but alone. Honesty is brought in solitute.

So now I find myself with nothing else to say in relation to this, so, I LOVE listening to music!!!! It’s like I need to release some energy so I listen to the music and a whole complete universe of passion takes me over to destroy me even more! I love that sentence hahahaha why do I say destroy? Because when I dance, when I create art, it’s not something like… 1 + 1 = 2, that’s something logical, it’s follow an order, you can understand it, learn it. But when I create art it’s like 1 5 6 0 19 1, and my mind and my systems will always tell me no!! Don’t leave me! Be in 1 + 1!! There you know yourself, you can controll. And I say noooo!!! I am going to release myself and expand into the unknown and see who I can become. And then I have concerts, and in concerts, well, not even in the concerts, in life in general, for example the other day I got to know a kid of 8 years old that I am teaching guitar now, we were in front of his dads, and he wanted to sing, so I just started to play a song he knows, and when he started to sing, I helped him open himself even more, with the next chord even more, and one more step, and one more, and he sang amazingly good!! It was like if I was helping him with my openess to open himself! And there we created art, something that you can’t controll. It’s goes fast and it flows with no direction yet it does, and you are exposed, and if I say the truth in those moments I feel inmortality, I feel that everything can be created in there, anything I desire, and what I desire in those moments it’s to become the person I have ever dreamed of!! So that kid it’s an example, the most obvios example is the concerts, in the concerts you are with your friends going for that, to open more and more and with the music and the feelings and it’s just PURE MAGIC!!!!! Music can be a hard road of a profession, but I just have no choice in here, I love it!! And there is people that support the world with that, for example a song I love, Wasted years from Iron Maiden, it’s a song that opens your heart with the music, and then helps you with the lyrics, it’s just perfect. That’s what I am dedicating my live to, right now I am simply playing commercial music… but still amazing!!

So, that’s all, and it’s not just with the music, it’s life showing the potential to share with others, and the strenght you can become if you commit yourself to be honest, to share with others, to not judge them, to help everyone, to protect yourself from people that want to hurt you because they are lost with themselves and didn’t manage to guide themselves… to create balance, to enjoy doing whatever you want to do!

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Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 08 Feb 2018, 15:04

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... suffering/

Day 62 – Suffering

Suffering. What is suffering? It seems a part of us that we want to avoid, it’s something we don’t like, we don’t want to be there, we prefer to miss it, to not see it. And it makes me think, why does suffering exist that way? Is suffering really that? Probably. When you suffer, you suffer. But maybe, this word represents a part of us that we have denied to ourselves, a part of us that we escape from, the darkness. We literally live to escape it, every thing we do is to feel good, to be entertained, to be better, good, to avoid facing this suffering and living in it. We all have a past with the word suffering, every one of us in an unique way. For me, suffering became the part where I would hide everything I don’t want to face. And as long as I don’t suffer, it would be fine. Drugs, videogames, relationships, entertainement, friends, conversations, things, life events. Almost everything was created for me, by me, to transform it into a positive thing for my mind, so it doesn’t make me suffer, so I don’t have to be alone, and face that if I am alone, I face something I have been running away from. It’s like this emptiness, this not knowing what to do next. And specially, the accumulated past. All the past that comes with it, a whole life of accumulated consecuence. So I would just escape it and escape it. Now, what does really suffering mean? Suffering for me is a gift. It remembers me that I am alive, that I am facing the darkest corners and not hiding them. Now when I feel it, when it comes, and not only it but, the entire past that comes with it, I look at it, and I get showered by it. It penetrates the depths of my soul until I become that and I am simply overwhelmed. And then I become the suffering, I am suffering. And it becomes such a gift. It feels like if suffering and I are finally getting to know each other and becoming friends, and he is not evil. He is simply yourself, he cannot leave. He would leave if he could to leave you alone but it’s you so, there is no way that that is happening. He is there for you to remember what it takes and what it means to live with full awareness. And within that he becomes your friend, you now know suffering very well, and he comes and, he is just a part of you, he is not anymore rejected, he needed to show you something. And it was very important because unless you go through that, there is no way that you can love yourself. So what is suffering then, even if it feels like you are suffering? It’s one more expression of you, and it brings a gift. It shows you how to not make the same mistake again, how to accept what has happened, learn from it, let it be, for once and for all. And then you will not be the same person, I could say that you will be happy and blablabla but, the truth is that it’s always there. It doesn’t leave, how could the truth leave you. It’s there constantly remembering you, have you learnt how to not regret anything in your life? And the answer must be a yes, because there is no other possible answer for yourself. Yourself is yourself, it has to be accepted for you to be something. So just check that in the present you are yourself, supporting you. And you will see that if you are that, there are no more reasons to fear, or run away, or hide. They are not leaving, they aren’t, you need them to guide you, and you will learn by facing them how to bring your potential, how to live a life, this life, and how life is formed of both, suffering and joy. And it’s in the balance, when you accept the suffering, and you let joy in peace, that you can see something that can be for you. Something that feels like fredom, and creates something for you, that you can really keep with yourself wherever you go. It’s not like you want it or need it, it’s not like you want or don’t want to suffer, it’s simply that the game has stopped, and now everything is up to you. So if the game has stopped what is left? For me, it’s the courage to live a life, that simplicity. I come to this reality, I live a life, and I leave. That is my purpose. And to direct guide take care and support my purpose. And to not become possesed, to make sure that the person that leaves this life is the same that entered. So, suffering is a part of life, it’s how it is, it shows something. Be aware of the tendency to avoid suffering, to hide it. Suffering has a purpose, to heal you, to make you complete, with a bigger soul, a bigger heart, with a free mind and a choice.

Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 12 Feb 2018, 15:54

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... imization/

Day 63 – Victimization

I am going to try to deconstruct the victim part of my mind as much as I can, and also talk about it in various ways.

I’ll start with my childhood. A child is something very curious, because he comes from a so shiny place that he still in the same rythm he was before being borned, he sees the world and the words and everything like, if it still was part of the story he was living before being borned. Like if he was so free that he is not able to judge anything, he never learnt how to deffend himself, he didn’t need it in the place where he is coming from, but he is coming to this world, and he doesn’t know that he need to not accept everything that happens in this world, this world is something artifitial, unreal, dead, it’s not going to support you experience life, in fact this world wants your life, this world likes to abuse life. So, the child will not be able to deffend himself, but he do is able to judge the world and everything. He will know exactly what is going on, why is going on, how honest it is. But he will not have the necessary tools to not integrate the abuse into him. I’ll continue now with my fother and my mother.

I can resume both of them in this two ways, they are sentences for you to see the core of their minds if that exist. Fother: Don’t be a loser like me!! You MUST be better than everything I have ever been!! You are all that I have ever wanted, to avoid solving my life honestly!! You will carry my own responsability, it’s the right thing to do!!! Mother: What’s going on???!!!! Why did you do this to me??!!!!! Don’t you love me? Be a good boy!! Be that and everything will be alright.

So these are the two of them. What I felt as a child was, they would do something to me that I would not stand for because I was a child, they would make me feel in a certain way, and once I am that, once I am not centered in myself, once I separated myself from my heart, I will tell them Why did you do this to me?! And then, just vacuum. Totally ignored, just a child with no value. I was not listened, at all, not a single time in my life, not a single time I was given the attention that I knew I was. So what can I do now?? There is this energetic charge they have forced into me, and now I am not self-centered, what can I do? Where am I? And then I would just go alone, and start creating stories, comparing the way I am feeling, to how I really was. It has been something cool to see for example, poems I did as a child, and see how I talked about the heart and something deep, and that it was the most important thing for me. And I saw how I was already separated from that, it wasn’t anymore a living experience for me. I was very depressed. I hated my parents, both of them, my mother the most. And I could not explain it, in words, but I knew and always kept with me, that I knew what they had done to me.

When I grew up, I enjoyed being a victim, very much, I would feed from that. I would be given, what I have always felt missing, what I have always felt I deserve, it became something I enjoyed. This used to happen to me and to this days still happens, because even if I knew deep inside me, that I was right, nothing, nothing was there to support me. I was not self-honest enough, to trust me. And even if I had managed to be that, it would have made things even harder for me, because my fall later would have been greater. Because basically, everything was against me. All I needed was a little guidance, a small one, to tell me trust yourself! You are not evil! They don’t understand, you have a lot of value! So, as a child I was not given attention, for example my mother would do things for me, but always as a way of compensating how guilty she feels for not solving herself and paying it with me. She would try to solve the whole world, but herself, in a way of avoiding self-responsability. And so I would not be able to forgive her, and have something real with her, where I am sharing my honest truth. My honest truth, is something I can share with everyone, it’s something I create in myself so I can share it with who I want, even with people who don’t deserve it, because it’s never about them, it’s who I am. So with people like my mother, I gave to them something that was never meant to be, I pretended to love them, I thought I could make it real since I am in this situation. But illutions only last for so long, and I had to end hating her, and she felt she lost her child. But I was never borned to give her anything, it’s just not who I am, I have a lot to give but that doesn’t mean that I am going to support your lies. So, as a child because I was not able to be the victim for once, to be really helped and held, I made myself believe that I was not the victim. That everything that I was feeling, that they were feeling about me, it was about me because I am not the victim, so it’s my fault. And this is something that conditioned my view completely, it changed it to a whole complete perspective. I forced myself to carry everything in me, and they would not even know what they were doing to me. The result was that I was like they wanted to be, that way they were happy, if I am the same abuse, I can even support it, it’s perfect for you! To not solve yourself! It’s like if you were feeding of my life because of who you are wthin yourself. But the responsability is mine, I was the one who made the illution real by participating. And I won’t blame me for that, I was a child, there was really nothing I could do. I thought at the beggining of my life that if I loved them they would change. They never did, and they proved that to me one time and another.

So, I would deny my own heart, for me to not accept that I am the victim of this situation, and then it’s my fault. And then because I believe it to be my fault, if I am the victim, that’s like WOW really? But it’s my fault, do I deserve that? Is that me? And, I also want to say that it’s not like I want to get attached to being a victim, I mean with the time it became that, but all I ever needed as a child was to allow that to be expressed, for once, to release it, and be helped. That’s all. The rest came later, with time.

Now comes the cool part. Who am I? Am I a victim? Am I to blame? Am I a hero? A looser? Am I someone insecure? Am I shy? Am I a good or a bad person? I could be a loooot of things, in relation to another loooot of things. But who was I at first? What was in me? There was something that felt good, complete, fair, trustworthy, lovely. Is that a hero? I guess I am my hero, because I have always admired me for just, being who I am. Is there something more than that? Could I ever be something else than that? I don’t want, never, in my life, to not be that. I want to be just what I am. That’s more than enough for this life time. So then, what has changed in me? Why am I not the same child, and at the same time I am? Because at first, I was my nature, I was me, it was what I was. But I was not seeing me, I simply was. Now, I can see me, I can touch me, I can create me, I can experience me, I can understand me, I can stand for me. It’s a different story, but the same. I would not change anything that ever happened to me, I have learnt so many things, I have felt in so many ways, I have realized who am I. That’s what’s different now, I have realized myself. So, I’d like that this supports people understand that, they are that which they are seeking, but they have to be that. It won’t accept any less than that. It should not. It wants you to be worthy of yourself, only then you will accept each other. And then there is no blame, no anger, no boredom, no sadness. What I find is that as long as I stand for this, I will be this. And thereforce I could look for things that supports this expression. Like art, or singing, expanding limits.

Now, I know that there is people who won’t change even if I love them. I can’t do anything for that, I just can’t change you. You have a rol within all of this as I do, you are as important as I am. This life exists with no barriers, you can go where you want, explore what you want, feel what you want, it’s all there for you to see. Who are you is the important question. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to participate in mind illutions that does not support this world.

This whole text, it’s a lovely piece of art that is in everybody and everything, it’s something I am going to carry to where I go, it’s my own process.


Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 19 Feb 2018, 02:39

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... and-death/

Day 64 - Heart and death

It seems like, when I listen to music, the song is talking to me. But I realized it's not about the song, it's about my heart. My heart is when I don't care about anything, I am a simple truth, able to do anything I want and desire. I can be evil or good, it depends on me. And my heart feels like if all my life, in one moment, was trying to tell me somethnig about one thing, the very same thing I felt as a child. And that makes me kind of sad, to remember how smart I was and how old and fucked up my brain is now, BUT, it's not my end, I am here to give the 100% I have. My heart feels like if I knew that it doesn't matter if I die, there is nothing to fear, I came from nothing, it's where I belong, and in there there was everything that is missing in this existence, a lot of information. This existence in the other hand is like, finding yourself in existence!! And that's quite a task, because how are you going to find yourself in here, with everything that exists in here, it's really quite a task to find the point of you that makes you free of everything you fear, and everything you love I guess, but there still always 1 thing, and that thing makes you eternal, because we are just eternal. We come to the existence, and if we don't get lost in useless crap, if you are here, it's like, I am existing WOW, should I fear? What should I do? And I can tell you what to do because I know it, there is nothing to fear but also nothing to love, but life exists, because you can say nothing to fear nothing to love, and suddenly your heart is vibrating in chords of harmony so, are there reasons to be thankfull? Of course!! And what about death? Why not die thankfull?? And then, maybe we realize something awesome, that there was never a reason to fear, as long as we face our self of course, and we also can say goodbye to attachments. I believe that the heart is the answer to everything, it's the reason for everything, it's the purpose of why I am here alone. I am going to share a cool idea with you, what if someday you die, you are absolutely dead and you have gone from everything that exists, and then you say wow! I am dead, I am nothing! I am alone! And then you realize, that there are a looot of beings around you that are in the exact same point, and I mean, it's not like they are in a different dimension, it may seem so but, they are in the exact same point than you, and you are feeling them now as you with you so, there it is. And it's like that because it's a common point for everybody. And that is superior to our heart so, our heart is a fraction of it, my heart is what I remember of being something in a place that is like... a very interesting story.

Isn't it curious that we all have the same value? This creates a conflict in me because there are individuals that I hate, like my fother. And I'd like to share my heart with him but, he tries to hurt it and sometimes he gets that result so I prefer to be separated from him for a very long time.

Everything we, the people, are doing things in life, it's to remember all of us what is our purpose, from what place we come from. Of course there is people who work based on greed to avoid that, but it's better to not avoid something that is friend of life, it's pointless.

So, what else can I say about that place? I will be young and absolutely alive again once I am there! So maybe that's a reason for me to accept that I have to live my potential, because I am going to end there anyway, and even if I have made so many mistakes, I have fucked things up so much, I mean it's what I am, so why not live the magic I can create, knowing that I am the same thing that I will be once I die, and I am. Why do I want to be perfect, what am I trying to get out of all of this, I am what I am, and if I think about it there is nothing I would change about my past, I don't need it. And I want to take this life to where it belongs, being supportive for everything that exists.

I am trying in my life to bring every part of my mind here, to this part that is the one I am. And it's hard, and quite a task. Because of many things. And I am like all alone being self-responsable for my mind. But I'd like myself to stop hurting me, juding me, shaming me, hating me, because because of that sometimes I go to attachments that give nothing to me as a being, they are a mere escape from reality, and if I was always this, this me that feels like a young child again, all my life would be lived with the heart. And the things I learn, the things I experience and realize, are so cool! And funny! So it's about bringing myself to every part of me, because I know that I am eternal, but I am not perfect. And with perfect I mean, a conection between all my parts and my heart, then what else would be of me but my heart?!

So, there is nothing for me to say about what exists after death except that if you have a heart, it will the big meeting with your heart, and maybe you figure out something awesome and you don't come back here, who knows!! But it must be like being very light and finding a lot of nice chords in harmony in yourself. But also, at the same time, facing the good and the bad, saying goodbye to the cool things, and facing the bad parts. And with every part you are lighter and then you are limitless, and you go out of here!!! Way out! But you are there, gone and out of all of this, but at the same time something remains. Maybe it's something much bigger than what I imagine. I see it like... if everything stopped in that moment, but the moment exists. But it's not of this world, it's of a world where we don't fear. And the only part of us that doesn't understand this is our self-created mind. It's the only thing that could get surprised with this message. For me, there is nothing to find out or to get surprised, I simply accept things of life in its simplicity. And, for me, it has been a great realization to know that I am a door for myself, to everything that exists and that doesn't. And that this is a journey to my heart.

And I am going to say one more realization. Anu you can't hurt life, life will always be there, it always finds its own way, we are all life, and there are no reasons to be afraid. Life can't dissapear beause it's the nature of who we are, it won't dissapear, no matter what. The fake can't be real.

These are my words for this night, cya!

Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 20 Feb 2018, 15:33

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... xpression/

Day 65 – My voice and expression

Hi, I am going to talk about how I am currently living a process of bringing the potential I know I am, to the totallity of my mind, that is basically sound. Because I mean, of what are our world made of? Sounds, words, meanings. Meanings are not something you can search in the dictionary and just learn the meaning for all possible scenarios. The meaning is within the sound, the way you say it, how you say, with what purpose. The communication is more about the sound than about the words. With what do we produce that sound? With our throats, our voice. I think that it’s fascinating to have an organ in our body that is able to vibrate and produce sound frecuencies, it means a lot. It’s like revealing the energy you have to the physical world. Maybe because it’s a so important organ, we often don’t pay the attention that it needs. I am going to talk about my own process.

For example, I can solve a lot of things in my mind, a lot of situations, I can face them, I can grow in general. The result of that is that my sound will be different. Because I can’t produce the same sound than I used to do once I am different, it would be incoherent. The sound we produce and the vibrations we generate are a way of expressing who we really are, in our minds. Because we produce sounds from the sounds we hear in our minds. So maybe we should look at the sound of our minds instead. Why is my sound hurting me? Why do I sound anxious? Nervous? Fearfull? Why I am using the potential I have to create sweet melodies, in feeling in a way that does not support my self-expression? We are thinking most of the time, and the sound we resonate in our minds, in general, becomes our voice. What is the reality of the voices of humanity, that are also the voices of their minds? Voices that are tense, fake voices, voices that sound like robots, voices that doesn’t support self-expression, instead the constrict the soul, even when we are alone and we are not even able to talk with our sound to ourselves. We lose the real voice in us, the real voice is something very relaxed, because it doesn’t need to demonstrate anything. The sound it’s producing is enough in itself. That’s why when someone learns to sing, he has to basically deconstruct the way he talks, all the conections and opinions and ways of talking and strategies. Why? Because they are all useless, they are not real, only one thing is real, the truth that is before you create all that you create. That’s enough, that’s in fact the most beautiful sound for a voice, it has no tention, it’s not in pain, it’s producing something unique. Then once you know your true sound, once you have cleaned yourself from all the ways of using the voice, the voice is not there to be used! The voice it’s enough in itself, that’s something real! So once you know your true sound, the sounds you produce in your minds change because you think, in your head, in the same way you talk through your mouth, and you can’t think in your old voice if you have a new voice that is relaxed and enough in itself and that also, sounds beautiful and real. I want to insist in this, it sounds beautiful. It’s the real way of using a voice, relaxed and enough in itself, that’s it, you don’t have to try to do anything with your voice while speaking or singing. You have to deconstruct it, and then find the relaxed path, the real path, the correct way. Someone taught this to me, how my real voice sounds, it’s always easier if you have support.

So this is what I am talking about, the relation between the voice, the sound, the energy, and the thoughts. The voice is enough in itself, and that way you start collecting sounds of truth, for yourself. Your mind starts being full of real harmonic expression instead of tention. If you are able to voice yourself, and say what you believe in with total conviction, then you are able to do anything. That’s a great way of feeling purpose.

I am going to share now personal processes I have lived in relation to my voice. I have been a looooot lot of years with a breathing through my nose problem. I realized there was nothing wrong with me, I simply had to do a greaat effort to even say a sentence. Once I solved that, and I could breath normally through my nose, my dreams changed. I stopped having nightmares, my eye bags were significantly reduced, I started oxygening my body easier, I could speak normally and express my sound normally. And I realized, I could have solved this a long time ago, if I had just payed attention. I couldn’t solve it because I was too busy creating stories where I am the victim and there is something wrong with me and I have this curse. I had to simply pay attention, and solve things. And then solving 2 or 3 things, I had to get rid of all the time I wasted creating useless stories that doesn’t solve anything instead they just make me feel like a helpess victim. And within the real voice I have now, I have found another dymention of reality in my mind to play with. And for me life is about playing and learning to play so, cool. I enjoy using this amazing organ that produces stories and vibrations, and they are stored in my world of sounds, next to for example the music and songs I love, I just listen to them and I feel like I can fly in sound in my mind.

So this is what I have learned. The voice is like the soul of the mind, if you change, your voice will change with you. Be aware of health issues like the one I had, and when you are living life and you want to create a story of sound that you know you want to create, just do it and voice it, create it for you, and let the rest of the world think what they want with their fake voices, they can’t sing. To sing and have a real voice you have to voice yourself, the reality that is in it, everything that flows in there. And I want to say that we are all that potential and we are equals, but I also want to say that don’t you listen to the opinions of people who can’t sing, they will judge you because they judge themselves heavily, but real people, people who are of worth and are real, they will always teach you something.

I also want to say one more random thing about my voce hahahhaha it's like if my dog, had reactions to most of my voice tonalities and some words. And okay in daily life there is not a lot of variety of voice sounds, but when we play together, it's like... from one perspective, the voice and energies my dog and I share it's simply based on charge and discharge of energy, but it's much more than that. We are able to, in those moments, create amazing stories!! And it's not like I invent them or something, we are both in the same state, feeling the same energy, and I with my voice support that conection in the moments of charge and discharge of energy (when we are playing together) and with my voice in those moments I feel like I can say anything I want and my dog is going to understand it. Because it's not like I want my dog to understand mathematical equations, I am simply having a lot of fun, she is too, and within that we can have a loooot of communication, communication that it's supported with my voice, that is able to create infinite different new stories between us. And it's cool to feel a so real connected communication with a friendly dog.


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