raul journey to life

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Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 23 Dec 2017, 13:09

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... -my-curse/

Day 38 – How my gift became my curse

I knew I was being a slave, because when I was in the dymentions I was convinced to reincarnate before being allowed to reach self-realization. So I said to myself, I must remember this, I will imprint this in my body, because I am reincarnated in a body of systems now but I remember what happened in the dymentions, that is the truth of my existence.

What happened within this? This gift I helped myself to have and remember after being borned, this gift changed my life completely, because I lost myself, I didn’t realize myself as I would have in the dymentions, what I did was compare my enslavement in this life to how I would have realized myself as life in the dymentions. So I didn’t realize myself in this life, I blamed myself, I created divition, all done in real time, my pain was pure. I didn’t allow the systems to controll me, I was different to the rest of the kids because I didn’t simply give in to the system, I was a very beautiful child, I was shy because the kids were already integrated in the world showing their ways of being (I talk from a very young age, before 5 years) but you could see something very very beautiful in me, like if I was pure, my expression was so real, I was a gift…. a gift in a life of curse, gifts are a responsability, because gifts are curses if you don’t stand for them, I didn’t see all that would happen if I didn’t give in to the system and really forget. I didn’t, and I ruined my life. My attempt to remain as my real expression, became something that changed my destiny in this life, and I used my gift to punish me for being different, the world punished me aswell, I was totally alone, my parents started having fights when I was 6 and they got divored, and this charged even more what would become my anxiety, at 7 I already believed that my life was my fault, I started creating excuses for my mistakes, and my mistakes started getting bigger. At 8, I had the worst worst teacher, I mean if you could choose the worst teacher for me in this life, it was her. At this age my life was ruined, my body was a mess, and all my potential became hell. My only escape from this world, I mean I literally wanted to stop existing, I wanted to kill myself, so my only escape was solitute, and I tried to get lost in there. I used this to create a divition between me and my world, I stopped going to school, all I was happy with was my solitute. I couldn’t interact with kids, I didn’t want to be near the teachers, I wanted to show myself in school and at the same time I hated the whole situation.

I want to be again who I was, who I tried to be in this life, I want to forget this nightmare. It’s very hard to accept that you are the same pure beauty because I am not, I have created a curse for me in this life. Why would you choose to reincarnate? You didn’t, if you knew what was going to come to you if you remembered anything about how things were back then, you would have never come here. I didn’t want to be here, this life was never made for me. This life, this system, this world, is evil. I never belonged here.

However… there was always something taking care of me, it was very far, or near, it was the opposite of me, but something was watching me always, seeing all that I was doing, seeing all that they were doing to me, seeing all that is this world, do you know what is this world? Of course you know it. When I had special moments like for example, games in sports, I would give my 100% to shine, I had a creative force that noone else was able to show. I did moments, brief moments of laugh in the classrooms, so unreal, and at the same time so good, the whole class laughting because of me, even the evil teacher, because of I joke I dared to do.

Who are you in this moment? That is life. You are going to die someday, and be free of everything. It will be done in the moment, in the same moment that you are now, with the difference that you are not your body or your mind, in here there is all the memory, the life on earth, the energies, we are not ourselves, we are our life, all that has happened to us, all that we need to direct. We have to direct our whole life, if we want to realize ourselves. Self-realization is the only direction. It’s hard, do you think I want to live again my whole life? But I have to, I just have. What I did to myself, was because I avoided my self-expression, I am not avoiding or stopping myself anymore, because I see what I have created. I have to face my fears, I have to face my life. If I do this, if I really make it, I will be able to help this child I see in me, I will be saving his life, and saving the life of other kids like him. I want to become who I am, and I am in this moment that person who is able to survive this life, who creates support out of this world, that is success. I want to success in this life, for me, to be proud of who I can be, proud that I will never be exploited again, because I am standing up for life, so when I cross over again, I will be totally awake as myself, and I will prove that I am not allowing that to ever be done again to me, I am standing up and I am showing my power, my power to help me and help this world, I am not standing for anything less than that, never again.
I know who I am.



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 24 Dec 2017, 16:05

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... f-support/

Day 39 – How to bring self-support

How to means, unconditionally supporting something. Unconditional supporting, specially in the moments you can’t apply self-forgiveness, because those are the moments for you to grow in real time, they are the best opportunities, so that when you are again relaxed, estable, breathing, you can say I see the reality now, and I am proud I did my best to apply self-forgiveness when I felt I didn’t deserve it or I was not able to, next time I will try harder, thanks.

Bring means allowing, because we are the ones who go into certain paths, energies, reactions, that we know are not supporting in the process of giving life to life, but that we know very well and we find hard to escape from.

And self-support. Something in us knows and have always known how to give life to life. We see it in everything, the possiblity of being who we really are. Sometimes it gets hard, very hard. But here you have some tools: support yourself unconditionally to allow who you already are be expressed. Just do that, okay? Starting from now. Now you are allowing yourself to be that, you are moving in real time, and you are facing this moment.

Also, when the “good times” comes, don’t lose your time, create a platform of support, entirely for yourself, so that if you ever have to support yourself realize something, you have worked and worked on yourself, and you are there for you. Don’t waste time thinking about things that doesn’t really support you, support for yourself is the most important, without this you can’t be there for yourself unconditionally, and if you can’t be there unconditionally for yourself I don’t want or can trust you, because you first have to help yourself, and I want you to realize that, you are allowed for a veeery long time to support yourself, and support yourself, and understand more, and support yourself. So I don’t care how free you feel, you keep supporting and using your time to support you even more, even more, everyday, this is what you are going to do for this next year, the whole year, you are going to be focused on helping yourself, and I don’t care if you feel that you don’t deserve it, or you feel you have things to share, even then you will keep supporting yourself, so that you are there for you, and you don’t have to fall again, because you are the one falling, and you can’t and should not help others or share what you know is right, until this is totally understood, you must be there for you.

If you don’t understand your story and your past, nobody is going to, and you are the most important person for me because your life and your world depends on this, and you deserve this, and you are doing this, and until then everything is going to be for you, nothing to share, all you are going to keep it and you are going to enjoy it, all alone.

I say all this because I have a tendency to share with others when I can give something, so instead of doing that, I am going to focus on sharing with myself to create support for myself in the moments I am not there for me, and this is all for me, and until this is done I can’t share anything with anyone. And there is people who doesn’t need this message, there is people who need to learn how to stop believing they are the center of this universe, but I am not that, I need to understand that I do am the center of this universe, and without me support me unconditionally I am not able to help others, I should be think only on myself. I am going to get benefit out of all my support, and even if I feel fine, I will go into my weak points, and create support even if I don’t need it.



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 25 Dec 2017, 19:40

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... ion-of-me/

Day 40 – Supportive quantum vertion of me

I sometimes see a quantum vertion of me watching me, watching my entire life in one moment and saying, was I in tune with this simple unexpected reality I understand now in quantum time?

If he is watching me, he says: Raúl, total trust in your self, and absolute liberation from your mind systems. It’s not who you are. You have been conditioned to stop yourself from expanding, but who you are can not be stopped. You know this deep in you, you are not any your mind systems, you feel it, it’s in you, and in this life you are hearing and trusting, in this life you are realizing the truth.

So, if this quantum vertion of me existed, that in fact it does exists and I know it because I remember it, how can I be in tune with it? What is saying to me from the quantum time?

I know he is watching me right now, and in fact it’s me watching me in this moment because I am here, but here I don’t have quantum time, I am “stucked” in the body in a place an time, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see beyond that, I can, I know how to, and when I am here in absolute free expression, knowing that I am being observed by the quantum version of me who is checking if in this moment I was myself, I feel that time and space change. It’s like if the present was vast and very big, and I could see the reactions I have conditioned in myself, and I was being directed by a third person who is me who just sees my life passing, passing like it has to pass, with honesty, from a starting point of fredom of expression. It’s like if time no longer existed, because when I will notice, one moment after this one, I will be in quantum time after death seeing my entire life, and knowing that mind systems were not real and I don’t have to support them anymore.

I think to myself, how can I be closer to you? Can you send me a signal? And the curious part is that he can, that is why I enter in moments where the reality is very different, and I am already there, in an existence of one point, out of this reality, directing the world. I can know in those moments, that I am not my body, I am not my mind, I know what I am, and I am not waiting until I die to realize one point.

I really want to understand this, because when I enter quantum time, that I will, like everybody, I will see my whole life in one moment checking if I realized myself or not. Why we humans then to no realize ourself? Simply because of our minds, nothing else, it’s all that. And once you die you see oh, it was here, okay, if I just had known I could have created this in the body and manifest it. But in the body we forget ourselves, we don’t really see it, we are there like… I don’t knoow, I am not sure, what’s this that you are talking about? That’s not a cool place to go, it’s in fact the most uncool place, it’s so uncool that I am against it! My heart is with the systems, you are evil! Because I know it!

We are not normally able to see the point that we are, conect with it, ask for support, and be brought to this body, it’s not normally like that, we normally don’t have this chance. Isn’t it interesting?

So, if my quantum vertion of me is watching, he wants me to please stop my mind, because I know I am suffering for not realizing myself and I am adiccted to just suffering, he also wants me to know that everything it’s not what it seems, and that it’s fine I am doing a great job I don’t have to be super perfectionist, I am already there and it’s cool, I just have to realize some things about myself, and I will grow from those experiences and carry them to the dymentions.

A part of me feels like in the past lifes I don’t remember, let’s simply wait to die and it will be over. Another part of me feels like, finally I have a chance to be alive and realize what in past lifes I only was able to realize for two seconds after death and it was what I was all my life looking for!!

Now I can see the unseen, I am not anymore in this life believing a lie to later discover that I was deceiving myself, and I am in this life trusting myself! In this one life I am doing it! I really thought it would be cool if I just could be alive and remember what I remember when I die, but it’s like a covered path, very hard to see, when it’s in fact the obvious path, but you are just infused in the systems when you get to the physical existence, too busy creating energy to realize where does everything come from, it’s all very curious that this is happening now to me.



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 26 Dec 2017, 14:42

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... ess-ahead/

Day 41 – Process ahead

I am here going to talk about the process that is to come for me. I always feel helped and directed by interdimentional people. They haven't really talked to me, and it's not needed, their signature is in me, supporting me, that's all that is needed for us to communicate. They always direct me back to self, they have kind of become my family, they are very supportive people. My process ahead, for me to recover my abilities to support me and this world are the following points:

-Sex

-Fear of being damaged physically

-Anxiety

-Frustration

-Sadness

-A confident personsallity taking advantage of my honesty

I am going to face all this points, because if I work with all this ponts for this life I will know myself. Once I do that, I will be able to help others in real time, that is what I have always wanted to do. I am going to share these points here on absolute honesty and self-support, to be the example for others, and for myself, and I am going to create in the village where I live a community of support for the people, I have started with the people I already know, my friends and family, but I want to help even more. But this is only about myself, my points, my forgiveness. I am ready to start this, I am at a point where I am going to start working on my potential, in the core points of my fear and what I call my demons, and I want to be the example for other demons.

In my following blogs, I will share support aswell, but I will mostly work with all these points, that is what I will dedicate my time, I have to be realized, before helping others to realize themselves. Thanks for all the people supporting me, you have been of great help, more than you probably are aware of.

I am going to bring to myself who I was as a child, I was someone with a very stronge conection, my third eye was so active, I am facing all the fears, so I can bring my expresson back here, and someday I can feel my body changed, changed to the point where I am feeling again conected, I feel it now, how it starts activating, like if it now didn't feel like being alive, but if I just push the energy a bit and show it the way to go, it reactivates again, it's still alive it can be cured and it tells me that I have the opportunity to face myself, and that he will support me and bring back who I was, who I am, who I can become.



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 27 Dec 2017, 19:30

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... x-support/

Day 42 – Masturbation and sex support

In first place, I share here a link about all the story of how masturbation really in fact works, so here you have a lot of stories all related to what I am going to talk about https://eqafe.com/p/shocking-secrets-of ... troduction

So now I am going to share my honest perspective about masturbation, and how it became something supportive for me instead of a waste of my energies.

I can't tell you about women, I have my experience as a man, and I talk from there. I think men are more inclined to make sex something big, something exciting, it's like you see women in advertising and stuff and you have sutil feeling of go there and do it, most people are unaware of how sutil it is the movement of energy, because most people doesn't really understand their own sex mechanism and they accept it as normal and they make something irresponsable acceptable in this world.

I want to say that when you feel that something is good, that something takes you out of your centered being, problem. Problem in the sense of, you need to go here, in this point that moved, and understand yourself, because you are literally giving up your potential, for an experience of energy. We have always felt in some way, that masturbation is something that can easily stop being supportive for us, why? Because with things we like or enjoy, we tend to go into an experience of energy, and thereforce consuming the resources of the body, rather than acting in a supportive way for ourselves and this world, and directing ourselves with honest fredom. With sex or masturbation, we reach a point where we don't care about what is supportive for anything, it becomes a fountan of irresponsability and consecuence, where we are simply wasting our lives for energy. I am going to tell you something right now, you don't know the potential of a human, we initially think oh... how could I just be myself when I am driven to energy experiences that feel so good... but, believe me, you don't know what is inside of you, if you decide, if you make a decition, a gift is going to be given to you, and your life and perspectives will shift sometimes, but once you know the trick that is already inside of you, you are going to start growing and expanding and you will become someone to be admired, because you will have the equilibrium needed to protect this world.

So, almost every person who masturbates in developed countries does it to porn. Because it's a way of stimulating even more, of giving up responsability for an even more intense experience of energy that leads you to a sooner death, and you get addicted more easily, and you start having fear, because when we are attached to something, we are having fear of losing it, because if you only thought about losing it it would be like no man that's hard. That is in fact fear, addiction. That's stopping your potential. I can talk about how masturbation and images in porn influence your body and mind, but that is walked in the link I provided, so I invite you to listen to those interviews for more information about porn, right now I am just going to say that with porn you create more consecuence and you get more addicted.

So there is something in us, that knows that we are creating consecuence with masturbation, like a part of us that knows that we are becoming possesed, and we want to do it because that is how addiction works. Currently, the way I see it, there is a demon created by humanity feeding of sexual energy of all the people who is masturbating to porn, and man just look at the numbers it's a biiiig ammount of people, it's the dark secret of humanity. These people didn't have the chance to realize their potential, and now that the opportunity is presented and you can choose between up or down, it's very easy to go down. I mean you are at the beggining drown to going down, because you are not awake, it's easy to remain sleeping, there is a huge market in this world, a world set up with almost no support between people, and when we see in our existence that something has changed we are not in first place going to go up and up and up, and it's normal, it's acceptable, you should forgive yourself. Why? Because you are facing right here something that you can't imagine, something that will lead you to not only use masturbation energy for your own benefit, but in last instance, trascending sex, and thereforce trascending all humanity, and not only becoming someone with the power to direct this world and support everything, but someone who will never suffer again, someone who will be able to take care of himself, that's why we are here for, to realize our potential to express free from energy experiences, directing the energy, rather than being driven by it.

So everybody can say I don't work based on sex. But the reality is, how many people do you know that take the consciouss effort to bring a mind free from the attachment of sex either from relationships or porn, and take that to every part of their being? It's not a simple task, because sex is basically how life works. For a normal mind, there is not a single reason to go against sex, and you really can't find reasons to go against sex, sex meaning forming a relationship, or simply being driven by sexual expression. Because how it works, what you see in the other person, it's something that is one, and takes you out of what supports you and this world. Sex is in fact the most simple thing to understand, it's just "that". If we want to change this world, that it is what everybody should be doing in this life, we must learn to direct our energies. Because masturbation is selfish, is pointless, and it's a way of escaping your life. And relationships are more or less the same, and in them you are going to take to yourself the mind from another being, this has a lot of consecuences too, and really, what is more pointless than a relationship with someone you feel atracted to? It's a declaration to this world that you only care about your energies experiences and that you are only interested in giving your soul to something that you don't even understand. Because, you perceive the relationships as something cool, a gift from the life for no apparent reason or consecuence, something beautiful, your heart is in it, the very core of your personality is based on sex (if not all, a very big part of it) because you know not everybody has a nice job that releaves them from the necesities of this world and makes them inspired with life all the time. Most people are just bored and punish themselves with their work to gain money, and then they just need that release of energy to function normally and don't see that everything is pointless.

So relationships and feeding sex is something pointless, it's not caring about anything more than how you feel, that's why you need relationships, you believe in real love. When it's just in fact sex, and we have a tendency to not accept that our nature is based on sex, when it's something so obvious. But it's not obvious for most of people, because the rest of the world is also functioning in sex, and if you say it outloud, it's like if the other person said, how are you talking about this? Nobody tries to understand sex unless he is insane, because all of us understand that nobody can go against it. I say understanding as, transforming it.

So, sex is beautiful, but when you let yourself be possesed, be aware that you are doing it to yourself, and that it will come back to you, as a direct consecuence. And in our nature, we don't like consecuencies, if we could just avoid our responsability forever and never understand the totally of our mind...

Now, this is not what sex or masturbation or orgasm is, this is what has been translated from it to this world, through the mind. I talk now about real sex, pure sex, supportive sex. In first place, it's not something that you need desire and want. If that is the case, there is support for you to be received in the link I provided. Sex only feels like sex for the mind, because the mind has taken that part of us and create what it felt like creating. But sex is something very important, it's something in direct conection with our body, what we do in the moment of orgasm, remains in us. So we must be very specific, because sex is very specific. Sex is not what the minds perceives. Sex is a normal thing, that is just there as a mechanism. But due to the point of consecuence we have created in our bodies, sex has become something separated from our physical body, and sex should be a moment of intimate conection, where we discover something about ourselves, of who we already are, not a way of evolving our enslavement. Use the moment of orgasm to perceive the reality of the experience. Don't bring the mind to it, let the experience be expressed, let all the fantasies go, go back to your body conection, you will be suprised how much you have been wanting to bring the sex mind conection to your physical body. This is a very important point, because it affects and creates a lot, and it should belong to you, not to your mind. The part of yourself that you let be controlled by sex, are part of yourself you are losing. I am not saying with this be against sex, I am just saying let sex be, don't go in there with your mind, and also understand the responsability of having a relationship and how even that can make you express more who you really are, and not who you are as a possesed state of energy that will eventually run out and you will then be heartbroken, because man... or woman... those stories about sex and fairy tails created by disney are just that, ways of enslaving your consciousness, and who we are is not a slave, but this will need of your inconditional support to become a reality in your body, but here is something fascinating, we are already that that we dream of, we are already that! We are just allowing it to be expressed, and nothing of this world should makes you desire and need something separated from you, doesn't matter how beautiful it looks like from the outside, the answer is always inside.

For more info and support about everything of this, visit eqafe.com



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 28 Dec 2017, 12:04

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... your-life/

Day 43 – How to really controll your life

I have dscovered something amazing. I think it's the door that I created this mind from. It's like a point that always repeats inside myself, that leads me to every story I live in my thoughts. That point is not something cool honest and fair like my mind would like to think simply because it's attached to sucking the resoures of my body through my mind, that point in fact, looks wound in my body, everytime something happens is because I have gone through that wound. I once, had like an experiene where I felt like I was living my body, and then I came back because it was too much. Well what I experienced is exactly what I am talking about now, what I experienced was being in my body without entering through that door. What happens is, that that door is what we have become, it's literally us, being here, so it's not something simple to notice it. I mean, it's like if, everytime we choose to active anything that happens as thoughts and reality in our life, it happens through that door, and we are so used to, that even in the process of discovering ourselves, we will find hard to give up to that, because we would literally be free like the wind or the water, with no particular shape, and all that we have done in our life is shape and shape and shape and we can't stop being the shape, because all that we do is for the shape, and if we just could stop that, we would feel very light, literally like if our pressene was being taken out of this body. And that is what we are looking for, to controll our lives, to really know how we work, why we work, for what we work, and who we are.

I am so skilled at this, at pressing the buttom of my mind, it happens without me noticing it, because I am so identified with the buttom, I first want to press it, and then okay I accept anything, but what I find interesting and more difficult is directly not pressing the buttom. What happens after not pressing it, is feeling a relieve, like something you want so much to go, to leave you, but it just seemed impossible, it seemed impossible that you yourself would leave but it's what you wanted, because what leaves it's the creation you have done of yourself through the mind, and it doesn't benefit you, it simply enslave you, I was initially scared, because I am not used to feel so light, but it's something so healthy, like... finally things are expressed in my life, like the should, without me entirely, they have their own form, and I must respect this, if I want to live, I don't want to be old pressing the same buttom again and again and again. I want to live totally, fully, and this is exactly what I feel when things are expressed unconditionally, I start going lighter and ligher and I feel like if I was going somewhere, where I am going is to my expression, in this body and in this world, and I am going out of the illution of the mind, and I am not only working with my mind, but with myself, with who I am in every moment of every breath.

So this is an interesting point to look at, a buttom in your body that looks like a wound that you are attached and identified and that when you start controlling instead of the buttom controlling you, you feel ligher and more expressive and more alive but it's hard because you would always choose the press the buttom before really understanding what controlling yourself means. Don't choose the buttom, choose life, don't have fear lol



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 29 Dec 2017, 16:47

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... ng-myself/

Day 44 – How I am supporting myself

Hello I am just going to explain what I am going in my life. It’s very curious, because since those early ages when I was a very young child and I had a conection in this body that was one and that charged the part between my two eyes to vibrate and I could see and feel things and I knew that the earth was a way of enslaving people to feed the dymentions and that I was enslaved because I didn’t set myself free in the dymentions instead they got me into this life, since then, I have made like a parentheses in my life, in the sense of, I knew I was going to create a lot of shit in my life, so I simply isolated myself, separated myself completely from this world, and yes I ended full of shit, but I mean that shit was in the parentheses, I didn’t really fully became that shit, because the shit was created as a game I am going to play because I know that everything is a lie, and I am not going to give myself to a lie, I am just not going to do it. Yes, I am full of shit, yes I have a lot of work to do. But I mean could have been much worse, I could have forgotten who I am, instead I created a beautiful shitty parentheses, and now I am like, okay my whole life is a lie, I have finally reached that something, I commit myself to follow my process, because my process is myself. I commit myself to recover this body from everything that I have done to it, and I am really sorry Raúl, I just never imagined I would have a chance to remember in this life. I simply gave up, like in every life I suppose. But now there are no excuses, now I don’t accept excuses, I am doing this fully, totally, and until this is done I am not going to move to other thing. This must be done. I have to be oness, as what is best for all, and for me, for equality, for the truth, for the real life of giving life to life, for the suffering and the demons, for everyone and everything existing in this physical world, for me to remember my story. I have to simply clean all the trash I have gathered through the years.

I think this is the most honest point I am going to reach in my writings, the point where I remember I have felt it once I know what it is and I am going to live self-honesty. This is the point where I was, until this is done, and everything is clear, and I have forgiven everything, the rest of my words will come from the same point, and coming from the same point is pointless. So much forgiveness ahead GO GO GO!!

My writing feels kind of short so I am going to explain my most recent point of self-forgiveness, how I dealt with it.

My fother came recently to live to my house again, because he and his girlfriend broke up with hate because they no longer feel the energy. So it has been quite a shift, from being absolutely in my process, to having conversations and conversations and he talking like a living parrot-robot. And within this, it has been amazing to see my reactions to his words, his actions, it has been amazing because I have reacted and denied forgiveness, but I didn’t deny it fully, I knew it’s me and I was always in that point, so while I was in that point, I was not able to fully express it in my body, because I myself was entering through automatic reactions to his acctions and words and tonalities, and it has been fascinating to see to what extend I am in some way possesed by him, because I am alone and I am with self-honesty and expanding my awareness and that’s cool but, then my fother comes and I start having reactions and reactions? Who am I then? So it has been really helpfull to forgive myself for this, or at least try it with my wholeness, because from trying in the moment I have learnt how reality words, and how I am going to bring myself to the totality of me. Also at the same time that I was absolutely focused on helping myself, I have been trying to help him and I have seen how his mind is literally stucked in his body and it won’t leave, it has already reached a point of no return. And it was also interesting to forgive myself for the reaction of seeing that I don’t have a fother because he is a product of this world, created by a lot of factors of his life, and within this I have also being able to see what part of himself he really would like to express, and how he is trying. But, anyway, because I saw no solution, I ended up saying to him that yes his death is going to be full of fear, because he is fear, because that is fine, because he will be free from it finally, and that I don’t really like that he becomes free and then he see what he could have done in his life to share his life with his 3 children, but it’s his choice for not forgiving himself, because deep inside he prefers to be selfish. And then I said to him (because he no longer see my brother and sister because they hate him, I am the only one unconditionally supporting him) that I am taking care of my brother and sister, and that I am doing EVEN better than him, so he can be relaxed that they are going to be fine if he really loves them so much.

So, thanks to this situation I am learning who I am, how to remain stable, and who is my fother. I have no fear to support this world, thanks!



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 29 Dec 2017, 22:58

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... alization/

Day 45 – Abuse, honesty, realization

I am having amazing realizations at this moment in my mind in this body, thanks to a book I am reading of Bernard. The point, the idea, that triggered it, thanks to the words of Bernard is: When you die, you face absolutely everything you consist of, and you go back to your honest equal and one state of being, this means that self-forgiveness for the entire life is the way of life. This means that I will literally die, because everything of me, will face the abuse. And it just looks so clear to me. When we die, what dies is the abuse. I don’t fully understand this, I can not create the exact words to express it, but it really feels like real and certain, everything that dies consists on abuse. What I feel at this pont is, WHY DO I CONSIST ON ABUSE? Is this… maybe the abuse?

All life exists equally, all life is one. What I feel is… everything exists! Without me! I am here to abuse! I am the same with or without me, so why was I brought here? What is my purpose? My purpose is to abuse more. If I think about it, if I say how exactly I created every single part of my mind, from where was it created? From irresponsability. I really doubt I can find a point in my mind that was created with the purpose of keeping things equal, it’s just not the way it works. I am here to abuse, am I not? Why would I deny? Why would I deffend the abuse? Because I am used to deffend that which is not life, because I accepted it so everyone else did. This plane of this existence, is everything of it made of this? It is, because, for what other reason would it exist? Only if your starting point is of abuse you can deffend it. Do you know why this is hard to accept? Do you really know? This life is less than life, I mean this human world, because that is what live becomes when you are borned in here. And when you come here if you become the world, you accept the abuse. So it is like a challence isn’t it? Because if you are you you will not accept it in this life. But who accepts it? Is that us aswell? It is, it must be a part of us. Because now is the only moment to stand for myself and be honest, what am I at this moment?

Maybe life on earth is a proof? For you to see who would you be if you could be tested? Because in the dymentions as frecuencies you can’t really be tested, or I don’t know, maybe you can, but this life is certainly a big way to test you. Who would you be with mind systems? And energies? And a complete design? Would you be yourself then? If you can forget yourself, are you yourself? The point is that, now, this moment, is a moment of accumulated consecuence of the past, and all of it originated from the point where we were in this life and we did the choice of, I am going to believe myself, I am going to abuse. In a certain way, this live feels like a test. And it’s a very tricky curious test. Because you are going to get identified with something, that is going to abuse and later is going to die. And you are going to do it all yourself. If you are the one making the choice of becoming that, who are you? Can you remember now? Are you going to remember now? We could not forget ourselves even if we wanted to, that’s how tricky it is.

This in some way feels hard to explain, like if I was just tired and this is something uncool and hard to talk about. I have honest consistent points that reaffirm myself, for example, I remember exactly the points where as I child I abused myself and accept it and continued it since then. I just, never thought, that I could be tested in a so honest way. Never thought I would have to answer for myself. What I want to say is, I know the points that built my life in this mind, they were based on so much abuse in so many different forms. Why didn’t I have the ability to not abuse myself? I don’t know! But now, I am going to develop it! The ability to “enjoy” life, without abusing it, is that possible? Yes it is! I just think that I won’t need to answer in a honest way if I simply abuse it. But I will! And I remember these points as a child! And I don’t even know how to really explain all of this! I felt the abuse I was becoming!! And I remember it, and this is my gift in this life, or simply myself, whatever you want to name it as, I know and I remember exactly what I did because I could not simply pretend that I was not doing it, because nobody can pretend! Pretend is something that doesn’t even exist, do you think you can simply stop being who you are? You can’t! You can only abuse it!! Omg, this last sentence literally, has made a sooooo long journey to arrive to this blog at this moment. I am the continued abuse of dishonesty, and what I do is take energy experiences and believe that that is my honesty, and that is nothing but a way of feeling good and justifing my “honesty” like that. What is my honesty? Can I really explain it? Who is talking now? And now just, there is silence, because I simply, anything I say is going to come from the same, I just want this honesty, this very message, to become myself, and I want to let it there, until I can stand for it infinitelly. I have questions, a lot, about all of this. Do you know from where do this questions come from? From the same points of abuse. There is really not a logical answer for this, in fact what the hell is logic, what a word. The answer for me is to become these words, and nothing else, for now.

Why do we think that abuse can not take place in our minds? When it is the only place where that happens?? Do you want to know why? To allow it!! What a game. And then, you keep your mind to yourself, it’s your secret, and you neeeever talk about it, you live completely in an alternate reality that simply transforms the abuse into something that looks normal for this shitty fake world, it goes for so many filters for you to voice something, because inner reality is only for yourseeeelf to abuseeee, but you will never accept it because, for what? To be self-honest?? For what??? And also, the world is there to protect you, the world supports evil!! The world wants you and allow you to be evil! And protects you! How can we accept it??????? How can our life be this? How can we allow it? Who the fuck even are we? Until every human on earth is FULL-OF-SHIT nobody is going to really realize himself. If you want that to happen O-K-A-Y I don’t care but I am not for one single moment taking part of it, ANYMORE!!!!! Not a single breath I am going to waste!!!



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 31 Dec 2017, 17:58

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... 7-resumen/

Day 46 – 2017 resumen

So, this is my last blog of this year. I am going to tell you right now, it has been the best year of my life since I had like 4-5 years old. I have literally lived all my life so fast, always doing it going running and then suddenly, my whole life has passed, and I am here, with me, this time for real, and for once in a veeery long time I am directing. I am so thankfull for all my life, because I have learned what was behind each trauma, each part that enslaved me. There was the gift, of setting myself free, for real, and becoming responsable for myself and my honesty. I have lived so fast that I just to go slow now, as slow as possible, and I see each part that I consist of, and I apply self-honesty and self-forgiveness. What can I tell to you, guys of Desteni? What can I say to myself? What a journey Raúl!!! What an experience!! It’s all gone now, what am I going to do?! I am going to do what I have always wanted to do that is, shake this world, create a (supportive) mess. There is nothing I have to pay for now, nothing that enslaves me, and yet it does because this is nothing but the beggining of my journey, and I am going to live it fully, fully expressive. So what can I say to you? Or to myself? I never knew, I never expected, that it was like this, that it’s all inside, in my head, everything is in me, here. I feel something curious sometimes, my energy starts moving and moving and activating my systems and if I am self-honest, it reaches a point where it just flows to the place between my two eyes, and it feels like it can flow there, and that place is reactivating and being alive again. And this is such an experience, what can I seriously say? This life is not what I thought it was, at all. Any person who is open and that finds Desteni, it’s going to feel that it’s Dest-iny! And you guys already know this, so what can I say to you? Just, thanks? What do I do? I am going to direct everything from now, I am already trusting myself and supporting this world inconditionally, and it’s bringing unexpected results, and I am helping people around me take responsability for themselves, and I accept myself to support them, because I just want all life to be equal, and when I really support them is when we are together, and if I don’t live for that there is nothing worth living, and I want them to see that I really live self-honesty, self-support…

I am going to put you in situation, when this year started, I was smoking weed everyday, playing videogames, I just broke up with my girlfriend, I was so lost… And then, I am just here, and all has been done by myself, literally in one year I have done the work I never did in 16 years. And it has been all so fast. And I feel, even gratefull because I could have worked for the system and create even more consecuencies, and I didn’t and I have been through a lot of shit, and I just can forgive myself for them. Not trying to create anything emotional here but it just want to go that way.

What can I say but, I commit myself to follow my process, I commit myself to be self-honest, I commit myself to have with me that I belong to my honesty, I commit myself to support when needed, I commit myself to not waste this life, I commit myself to work in every part of my mind, to learn the truth about it and thet let go, and within that grow up as a person and support even more me and this world. I commit myself to share my gift with everyone around me, that it’s that I know that life is just a joke, and there are not reason to not take responsability and forgive yourself, and the best way I have to show this to people, is with my influence or I don’t how to name it, with this thing that is bigger than me, and it pulls me and pulls me until it just doesn’t fit inside of me, but I remain, and I have so much to give and show and support, it’s like if life was just screaming LIFEEEEE!! SELF-HONESTY!!!! SUPPOOOORT!! EQUALLITY!!! and more stuff alike.

And someday, when I am ready, I will even forgive myself for all of this.

But right now, GOOB JOB, THANKS, and let’s keep bringing self-responsability to the physical.

Bye!!



Raúl
Posts: 172
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: raul journey to life

Postby Raúl » 02 Jan 2018, 15:37

https://rauljourney2life.wordpress.com/ ... -happened/

Day 47 – Everything has already happened

I am going to allow me to play with this concept.

Everything has already happen. Because when I see something, it’s always past, and I know past very well. So when I see something, if I trully see instead of projecting my mind into it, am I seeing? How can I say that? If everything comes from everything has already happen, and I am in the task of allowing that, when that is completed, will there be something else for me to say? I doubt that, I really doubt that. There will be nothing, life will be completed. So, then, what is life? What are we here for? If life has already happened, what is our purpose? Do we exist? What is a purpose, when you are every possibility? Nothing exists, no experiences. Then our purpose is to express oness. Children remember what they are, and if we force them to accept the system in them, they feel that they are living again, that they were more before, even before being borned. They know that they were doing something for this world, they did their part, trying to realize themselves even more, and if they come to this life and we force them to put the system of this world into them, they loose their purpose.

So what is oness? Can we name it? What are words? Are words there for us to realize that we are more? Is our living experience more than it can be expressed through words? From where does everything come from? From yourself. I feel very, very misslead to talk about oness in anyway whatsoever. It’s not of this world, it’s something alive. I am going to leave it here, I deserve to forgive myself and be more than everything about this. Sel-honesty, self-responsability, self-forgiveness, self-support. This world is you, everything is about you. Who are you? Don’t abuse it. Bye.




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