Tormod's blogg

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 29 May 2017, 17:11

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... ng-bottom/


Day 778 - Rock Fucking Bottom


I have been there. Have you been there ? Totally down and out ? No one left to turn to…. It is scary. On ones bare feet, hungry, cold, hurting, and without money….I had lost it all and driven myself into severe abuse and addictions of various kinds. I was cold and trying to sleep in a ruined and wrecked tent in rainy Amsterdam in November, 2011. I was at my rock bottom. So low I could go. I was barely alive.

Sitting here now many years later it is strange to think about how far I had pushed myself back then. It is scary to look back and seeing how badly I treated myself. And just that; the mechanics of it, the programming of it, the drive of mind within it, is what is talked about in this interview:

https://eqafe.com/p/hitting-rock-bottom ... us-part-98

the interview/eqafe makes me aware of the specific mind mechanics



It is described the programs that are active within such a state. What are the conscious components within being at rock bottom ? I dare you to investigate this interview and others that follow on the topic. You will get a very, very unique look into the detailed parts and mechanics of the mind and its working in these relations and similarities. What are the programs that run within the mind/body before hitting rock bottom ? Having this awareness of how mind operates we can then forgive the self within this… and change !



For me it was mostly a desire to run away from responsibilities, memories, trauma, my life (!) with doing weed, hajjis, alcohol and sex. I was a multiple addict. And it drove me waaaaay down… Not until 4 or 5 years later on was I able to see and say that yes, that point in Amsterdam, November 2011, that was my rock bottom ! I was practically dead.



Because get this, important part here: If we don’t understand and forgive, embrace the parts that drive us to such a state in the first place, being of rock bottom, if we don’t understand it what got us here, then… what is keeping us from ending up there again ? What is preventing the same programs and drivers of mind to cause us to end up there again ? If we don’t work on it, forgive self, and alter our self and our living… nothing will prevent it happening again. This will reoccur again and again and again… mind recycling itself over and over.. keeping us a slave.



This is an example on why I had to open up and expose to myself and walk, my addictions, my trauma, my nitty – gritty detailed past. I had to open up and expose and forgive and embrace to myself all the parts that I had rejected. And this interview lets us know some of the programs and mechanics (much like a computer lol ) we have to understand to be able to deal with this type of phenomena. This will only escalate and increase in time to come. Because life will not wait. Equality and oneness as life is coming.

Fuck ! It had become so bad now, that me googling for pictures on “Rock Bottom”, to shows only wrestling stars… wtf ? Searching for “Rock Bottom” pics and seeing this wrestling dude all over…. geee…..





Here is the follow up on the first interview:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-to-do-at-rock- ... us-part-99



who ever you are eqafe.com can assist you in your process





For more info on life challenges, solutions and issues:

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/



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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 31 May 2017, 11:10

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... awareness/

Day 779 – consciousness and awareness


This is a review of a eqafe.com product, in the back to basics series.


Thoughts, thinking and mind with its consciousness, is the very core of system of self that is keeping this world in its locked down position. Thinking and consciousness is two of the very, very factors that maintain the very “same old, same old” system of this world, being inequality, consumerism, war and systems so on.

How can we start to learn to change this ? Is it possible to change this ? To not be that much a slave of mind ? How to become more aware and self directive ?



In this interview you can learn how to work through mind and to master and take charge of these processes, and simply not allow it to go on. To become aware, and not lost in chaos of thinking and consciousness.



It gently assists a case studying and finding it bothersome to read and study text.



How is it possible to change from mind and thinking to nurturing ones beeingness and awareness? You would be amazed of what you find !



This interview will let you know how to take charge and change from these processes of min. And it taught me that ultimately it is me, myself who is responsible and also capable to change myself within such. I have the power to change, from bothersome thoughts, friction and noise of mind to life, breathe, beeingness, awareness and physicality.

I have the opportunity to change. Learn how to see this and how to work with self to change this !



Enjoy the interview: enjoy eqafe !

Interview here: https://eqafe.com/p/consciousness-aware ... -to-basics



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 09 Jun 2017, 14:49

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... fe-review/

Day 780 – Master of War – Life Review


link to product:



https://eqafe.com/p/master-of-war-life-review


This is a product from eqafe library, called a life a life review. Where the portal brings through a being from the other side, literally from the dead. A being comes through the portal to share its life review. In this particular interview a being shares the deep regret after having lived a life within pushing the measures of war. A being who lived on earth, creating and pushing war, corruption, militarism, and war systems onto this world.



It goes to tell us what this means, and how this war system really is a deep rooted disease, that is ruining lives and livelihood of people who it affect. It lets us know how the war and conflict created by this individual has a effect on others. People look up to this individual for living war. Spreading the disease and infection of war and military, into generations beyond. And within so, the masters of war are being admired. It explains how this person who lived a life in war, is simply deeply sorry, for having lived like a life like that causing conflict, military and war. And that it affects this being even in the afterlife.



Who we are in thought, word and deed matters – beyond.



It goes to show that even after death (!) this person becomes this infectious disease of war, violence and militarism. It also creates this concept of people looking up to the masters of war like they are heroic and brave form being so militant and possessed by war. People would and are still making such a characters into heroes and leaders and that are followed.

Investigate this very fine and detailed interview to see what lies behind the militant behaviors and drive, the militant leaders and how we can learn to see through this and create solutions beyond the contagious disease of war.



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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 10 Jun 2017, 14:12

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... -recycled/


Day 781 – Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled




Who am I as a creator ? What do I truly create ?

Something that I was recently made aware of, and that I in self honesty also knew of, is how I drag with me old mind junk, and mind data from the past that I would like to say that is gone and that I am done with – that is still here. Some of the old dominating systems of my mind. Things like “self judgment” and “fear” – systems. These two buggers in particular. Some of the very dominant system that we as humans carry. These systems, have very deep seated roots on the humans experience. And people walk through life without properly dealing with it. This has effect on life as we know it on earth today – as well as for the afterlife and infinite existence of humans. Now, I have tools to work through this, I know how to heal and how to work through this and … literally I know how to change. It is only myself who is responsible for not changing. I have self forgiveness, self honesty, living words, breathe, etc, and I should know how to balance this by now. There is no excuse for me to not change.



Still my mind programming is heavy. And in this interview of Annuaki he explains how this responsibility is mostly missed by humans, that we are not creating for real – we drag with us old systems, still.

So these two systems, self judgment and fear, are poking me like crazy. And they should – because I should not need to be mind slave within such a equation. Thing is that I see that my consciousness is recycling itself like it did before. Making old problems new again, “making suffering great again”…lol…within mind, making fear into anger, and self judgment into blame and so on. So I must stop it and alter – create a better reality.






self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drag on specifically fear and self judgment, where I think to myself that some of the things I have done is unforgivable to myself as a being, and that I would think in my mind that me in my afterlife/reflection would not be forgiven, by my beingness, for some of my deeds/thoughts on this earth, missing the picture of how I let my conscious mind dictate me into thinking “I am not good enough” – “I am not forgiven enough”, “I can’t do this” and ending up in fear and in self judgment – mind systems recycled.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a moral obligation to drag with me fear and self judgment thinking everyone does this and so should I, not seeing or reflecting on how the word “moral” in this world, protects the very abusers (religion, war, government etc), and within so I am not better than anyone else, for dragging with me fear and self-judgment like emotions that I am eager to give away, and look into my beingness/awareness, and how I need to dump & delete these emotions once and for all.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine, the thought that I can make a drawing and a picture or some arts about me leaving “my old emotions”, and systems behind and not fully seeing, how drawing and arts it could assist me in quantifying my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it fascinating and yet disturbing to see how I find it very hard to dump of me, these systems (fears, self judgments) and at the same time how eager mind is to pick it up and recycle it into my living/suffering.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by my mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to give my mind direction, and a “occupation”.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I had not been able to see or fully realize and comprehend, that as long as I drag with me the constructs/concept of fear and self judgment, my mind will know so, detect so, l and it will make a big thing/addiction/suffering/recycleling out of it – since both fear and self judgment are mind based systems.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the desire to see into my fears and my self judgment, like a desire to see it diminish and disappear, like to kiss it good bye for good where I would indulge in memories and my mind would catch up with me and “boom”… the mind systems are recycled.



When and as I see myself going into re – inventing fear and self judgment, I stop myself, I take a deep breath, and I slow the fuck down. I have come to realize that I must know my fears and my self judgments – and from there “weed them out” from a distance. To see them, within self, to alter within self and change as self so that awareness/focus/reality is something else, and not fear, and self judgment. I realize that I have all the tools I need to get through this, I must simply slow down and find myself stable and ready to create best for all/best for me solutions.



I commit myself to be with my tools, and my support to give myself chores and creative tasks. I commit myself to stay busy, creative but slow and commonsensical.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 11 Jun 2017, 12:20

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... e-process/

Day 782 – expanding in the life process



Looking at my current living, where I am, and my livelihood, and how I more or less creative and in consideration define myself to be, I would like to just elaborate on my current process and status. For many years I have defined myself as and within the stigmatizing ground of psychiatry, addictions, and mental illness. I have come to realize that we all, every single fart included of humankind are more or less mentally suffering, being of mind. Stating that I do not close myself into being only psychiatry or that ballpark anyway. How do I define myself today and within walking my process of total change into something more something better and supportive, something of real matter ? It is right there in front of me, like this impression of nature and of detail, and stability, because what am I doing ? I am expanding, including, uniting and cooperating. I discover, reveal and I heal. I learn and I grow. More than anything else. I discover myself, I close down my believes, my fears and my reactions and addictions, by uniting with its origin and life, structure of me is becoming one with the self, and with all that is me.



Within here is stored mega bytes of self forgiveness and persistent walking of my process, embracing self as life and uniting, and even creating more of me, what is discovering of my own expression – my living. I find myself more and more in equilibrium with not only nature as I see it, but me, self as life force, and will to live. I more than ever before, would like to live till I am over 100 years old lol. There is so much I would like to participate with and further create.



Today more than ever before, I realize my standing and creative ability and life force. My will to go on with projects, chores, responsibility, daring to be a bit of a “clown” perhaps and taking on new challenges in common sense and self awareness. Many have said this before me that it is the nucleus cell and being of ordinary people, that will eventually change this world – because we change: ourselves, our ingrained patterns and behaviors, first and become one and equal – physical, responsible as being and life force in where we are.

So for me at the moment it is about nurturing myself within slowing down and taking one breathe at the time, to really get this point of expanding and not falling into old destructive patterns of mind.

Today I notice such a simple thing as not daring to ask for a hug, and to embrace self completely, as another, would sort of bring me down, and I know that I could “take on a clown suit” and simply ask bluntly for a hug – and I would be granted so.

Time to embrace the clown from within huh ? To nurture and grow as a playful clown – myself. To rediscover play (and fun) in my daily life.

So in a way it is also about daring and taking that initiative. Being brave sort of. So that I can continue to walk and make progress and learn as I go. Grounding is perhaps a word I am seeking for.

Either way I am proud of who I am today, I have a level of integrity and self respect. I am someone new at the same time reborn as self in the physical. I live to suit the support of life and to expand myself on all areas of progressing and sustainable creation.

Realizing just now, sitting here typing in front of my screen, that, I have had a long history of being for instance dyslectic. I have still difficulties with writing by hand – and reading it later. School was not my thing lol. But I will not blame the system – because the system is me. I created it. Together with for instance you. So it is a process of uniting, embracing and forgiving, bringing back to self all parts that I has separated myself from and made into mind fucks and loops, recycling the mind junk. Today I embrace it and bring it back to me- to oneness and equality.



Thanks for reading !



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 16 Jun 2017, 11:12

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... 3-serious/


Day 783 – serious


Living serious




Who am I as the word serious ? The word serious can be quite interesting.

Let’s look at this word in my native tongue – Norwegian, let’s play and investigate this word.

Ser I oss ?

Ser dere oss ?

Can tho see us ?

Can you see me ?

Ser I ous – can you see me/us ?

It ends up like a question, if I am visible or not. If anyone can see me. So what should make one stick out in a crowd ? What draws our attention on what premises ?

Let’s dive into this… We humans are a result of cultural and multilayered programming and upbringing. Consisting of memories, words, data, energies, conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind that have made a myriad of impacts on us as beings. I mean we have gone thought some nasty shit to end up like we have, with constant war, crimes, inequality, pollution, abuse of life, rape, murder, ignorance and that list goes on & on. The human creation. Not a lot to be proud of – so far !



Most of us live under cultural influence and a undisputable demand to consume and live according to polarized and painful energy surges and experiences – constantly chasing the newest gadget, theme, movie, tech, money, porn, clothing, mobile, drug, hype etc.



We are driven by our minds (!) desire to do “this” over “that”. Within a fraction of a second we make our minds to chose, Paris Hilton over Naomi Klein, or Simone de Beauvoir, we chose a coca cola, over a carrot or water, or porn instead of self investigation, we choose violent computer games over writing our life story and reading books about perma culture. Can you agree to this ?? We drive and chase porn, video games, and celebrities, energies, we do anything, all the time to have more money, and to improve our status above others in compare. This is still the core human drive of mentality. This have been going on for some time now.



So why should I be serious, why should people look at one ? What makes one so special ?

To be special today, in a smart way, to be serious, is to chose to be responsible to have awareness, and self honesty with ones living. To see and work with how minds has us in a dead lock position. To address the programming within self, of energies and imagination within, being it emotions, believes, thoughts, addictions, personalities, behaviors, ingrained patterns, judgment, fears or desires. To see it all and I expose it, document it, chose to delete it with self forgiveness. To know how it came about, to prevent it to come again.

Here is a catch, If I don’t know what is driving me into fear then how can I stop fear ? If I don’t know the details and specifics of fear, how it origins and operates, then how to delete it ? And we know that fear feeds anger and so the spiral of abuse goes. And we see the conflict in the world as a direct result.

I am serious because I in full debt and consideration take measure of my mind, and chose to work through it, with the very best tool of self forgiveness.



I use myself and my life and living as example. I puzzle all that I have been, all my parts I dissolve and place back together after deleting the energy (addiction) involved. I am ser – I – us because I make myself un-corrupt in relation to energies/money. I delete all the element that have led me to the reactions, voices in the head, addictions, fears, judgments, ignorance, believes and so on. I take life serious. Still though; I don’t want to separate myself into a “good person”, a “Jesus character”, personality construct, no. I just want to share my earnest, sincere, and honest consideration of how I live my life and the experiences such.

Either to blame any type of programing – because that is all it is. Programs. If I blame something or someone that is a signal that I have something to take responsibility for in my living.



So again it is to “know thy self” – meaning to know the physical, to know self from the flesh. To have a certain awareness of oneness energy relationship. To know how mind works, and gradually take charge of oneness mind and then ones living. To change. To be serious. It does not mean to be boring and dull and grey… no then we have missed the point. And besides that is a assumption and a judgment of others or self. To be serious it to learn self as all the self is, and to become responsible with ones process and living. To know the minds yoga and to learn how systems of mind works. To dissolve the mind systems before it manifests. To take a stand for change. Real honest and genuine. And fail me not: being serious, can be done in a clownish way. That is serious. I chose to be serious, I chose to stand up !



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 18 Jun 2017, 11:34

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... fe-review/

Day 784 – Holding Back and Imprisoning My Life – Life Review



Living the words “What are you waiting for ?” I think we all can see our self face to face with our limitations somehow, and that most of us have lived this sentence, within our experience. Like sentencing our self. “I sentence you/self to so & so..”

https://eqafe.com/p/holding-back-and-im ... ife-review

So within this interview from some ones living and experience, this is then explained how these words, this sentencing of self is making our life – less. Often we find that it is some specific thing from our past that we cannot take responsibility for. It is some event or story from our past, that we will not become one with, where we really would benefit, grow and expand if we really dare to look behind this sentencing. And how it is fear and fear of losing control that will make us abdicate and further separate from these events from our past. Emotional things, that has command on us, in a deadlock. So we end up simply recycling or mind systems and our past emotions and live those systems over and over again.

Listen to this person unwrap the life process that was walked with challenges starting to accumulate at art school and how life is limited from a experience at school.

It is about taking that little leap of self communication, being open and honest with self. Learning to know self, and work ones way through the limitations.



Looking at the words “what are you waiting for ?”, or “what is holding you back?” can be used, written out with pen and paper, to really investigate self and see within self, into me I see…. forgive the energy components within and realize self from those points that had self in prison by self.

You would be amazed of your potential if you could start with listening to this interview, and then go asking self, some real deep and existential questions, like what is holding me back from living me ? We all know and have dreams of utopia, and our outmost potential. Individually we are the key. The change starts with a really deep look into our self. Into me I see. Don’t forget self forgiveness.



So really: what is holding you back ?

I recommend pen and paper.



Enjoy !



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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 19 Jun 2017, 21:02

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... al-events/

Day 785 – The Quantum Mechanics of Paranormal Events




Get this product here:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-quantum-mechani ... nts-part-1



Introducing paranormal series. The existence of quantum physical. Quantum physical is where: consciousness as energy and physicality as manifested solidity – meets and merges.



A relationship between physical solidity and quantum energy – create voices, the materialization of ghosts as well as physical reality.

This interview of the paranormal comes to question what our standing and existence as physicality within our awareness.

What is our living existence based on ? What is it we are NOT seeing ?



How is also imaginations also like ghosts ? Or thoughts ? Are they not paranormal ?

Be ready with this interview to dive into the matrix of self. To really see into what reality or normality that might exist. How there could be ghosts, poltergeist, demons or similar, to occupy a physical reality.

How do we exits in both quantum energy and also physicality ?

Going into this series you will get listen to debating some veeeery fine existential questions – and you will defiantly have some eye openers to what reality or existence really is about !



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 20 Jun 2017, 17:24

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... into-fear/


Day 786 – Feeling loss of mind (component) – going into fear


Feeling loss of mind (component) – going into fear

Just now I was listening to a eqafe interview that very delicately describes the process that I now walk. Feeling empty and feeling loss: Just today and the last hours, I have been feeling like I Iost something within my mind and within such going into fear thinking I had lost something vital or important when it was “only” from within my mind.





I would feel angry as a direct link to a fear of loss, fear of loss of possessions, objective, things, money anything from seeing and witnessing a loss of mind system or components and within that specific loss, feeling empty, silent, depressed, feeling loss, fear and anger lol.. quite a lot to clean up after a simple loss of a mind system component.

Quite specifically I lost a sort of blame component (to my awareness) a sort of deliberating or consequence, call it blame system component. It would simply not be “there” in my mind’s programming no more.



self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into automated anger and irritation with self from losing something within my mind that I, within my mind automation, would consider important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear of loss from losing this detail within mind and its mechanics, that I would lose and for my mind going into fear of loss, and me feeling helpless, alone, scared within the change of a second, not seeing that it was only a part of minds programming that I would let go of, where mind feels naked or in fear, and I as a being go into fear, automated with my schizophrenia into anger and further fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel like diving into this mechanics and details, where I think it is only mind and it is only bad news, not seeing the whole picture of what went down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not until now see and realize some of the picture of how I can open up to myself and communicate, share and LEARN to me about such happenings and event in the life of me, here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to not ask myself questions and talk to me about what is going on in my mind – in self honesty what is going on and trust myself to know self and communicate to self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to know what the future holds, when that is literally impossible, I am here, as breathe, I have to work here with the tools that I have.



When and as I see myself feeling a sudden, unexpected drop, or fall, scare, fear or anger, seemingly out of nowhere. I stop I take a deep breath and I slow myself down. I realize that it is in such happenings and moment I can learn, evolve and grow to understand the situation, to understand my mind. I realize that such situations holds great potential for me to open up, and communicate to self and learn about me here.

I commit myself to in such moments, to open up, write, or talk in a considerate way to others about what is going on within. To open up first and for most for me to learn how to live my life.



I commit myself to communicate more to me – about me. I commit myself to make each moment matter – more.



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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 24 Jun 2017, 15:57

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... t-for-all/


Day 787 – Vivacious – for what is best for all


Vivacious – for what is best for all




I was made aware of this word, vivacious, starting within a numbness in my left thigh. Actually my thigh felt totally dead and “rotten”. And I contacted and asked for support from the Quantum Change Kinesiology, (QCK) team, and I was shortly after give details of matter – to what was metaphysically taking place in my thigh – and beyond – of my mind. Human memory is most often stored in the general body.

This word, vivacious, or crispness, lively, spirited, I have been living within a personality as a coping mechanism, to suppress a negative point within. I have been using this personality also without direction, noncommittal. This have been a balancing point within me to suppress a emotional point of sub-conscious character. So I have been living this vivacious and crispness/lively/spirited manner, to suppress a negative point within.

So I would like to dissolve the negative point through self forgiveness, and exposure, and also to pick apart the positive vivacious, personality – and rather live that word vivacious for real, without the personality, suppression, and with a proper direction and commitment. To extract this word and “neutralize” it, delete the polarity and components, from myself, and then use vivacious, as a redefined word to my everyday living.



So what I want to do is to take the ball in my own hands and score a 3 pointer, and end the game totally lol. So I have already forgiven and I am working on the negative point that I would like to suppress. The details from the QCK session are many and deep. Point is for me to see through this vivacious character because it is based on believes. I give myself permission to live this character of vivaciousness, from some specific believes that I have been carrying with me. Positive believe structures of mind. Like: I believe I can chose to be happy without any reason, or I believe my inner child, or I believe I am loved etc. I have this personality of vivacious (crispness, lively, spirited) arranged from believes. So understand: I have been living this vivacious character to hide and suppress a negative point within myself. I need to deconstruct the polarized character, work on my suppression point, and live the word: vivacious in itself as it is.

So what does it mean for me to be vivacious without the personality/polarity ? It means to be a bit silly, clownish and lively. And it would mean to take direction to a common good, to dare to break the ingrained pattern, to see best for all solutions taking place in the moment. To express. To be that catalyst of change to bring solution to the matter. Like if I standing with my dishes together with the people who I share house with, and the situation is a bit low or out of touch, I can suddenly start to sing or make a joke, to actively share some of my solutions being vivacious, and silly/lively/creative. So that is what I can do In such a moment. To dare to be a bit silly.



We all could need to be more silly in a creative, and supportive way, we all enjoy being silly ! In times like today we could all enjoy to be more silly or like a clown. So this is my point that I would like to evoke within me, to express and live this word: vivacious – for what is best for all in any situation.



art by William Karlen



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up believes and ideas within to access a positive, vivacious personality, making it difficult/impossible to access this word without taking on the believes and the personality in itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is difficult or impossible to live this word, vivacious, without adding some believes to it, like making it a recipe of programming that I have to follow – a programming without direction, commitment or standing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such moments of creativity and daring to be silly/clown, I would let the small things, the doubt or nervousness win me over – and limit me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up this personality to cover over and hide/suppress a emotional/negative point within and to use this vivacious/crispy personality to cover for my negative point within my sub-conscious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality based on believes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the need to suppress anything emotional within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to look into my subconscious.





When and as I see myself wanting to live this word vivacious, I stop myself I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that I must dare to be brave and have courage to express myself and to dare to be silly, in such moments. I realize that it is my responsibility to create the best solution in any given moment.



I commit myself to live vivacious and “spirited” – clownish, more often, by slowing down, breathing, being self honest, and just do it !




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