Joseph's writings

Marlen
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Marlen » 05 Apr 2012, 05:12

Quick suggestion: take no tantrum from your mind !

You already see it - so: stick to it No Matter What!

The only point that doesn't want to 'face itself' is the mind, it wasn't designed to 'face itself' - so, it's a matter of paving the way within common sense and self honesty

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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Joseph Stein » 05 Apr 2012, 05:19

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and do process while being dependent of a source separate from me to get me through process. Within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to do process from the starting point of separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that my starting point was separation in process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not taking the point back to self and seeing immediately that I caused these events around me and my brother with weed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for trying to place my responsibility of my addiction to weed on my brother.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for believing that I can place my responsibility on someone else.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that no matter how much I think I am avoiding self-responsibility that I cant actually really ever avoid self-responsibility.

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Lindsay
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Lindsay » 05 Apr 2012, 07:02

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that no matter how much I think I am avoiding self-responsibility that I cant actually really ever avoid self-responsibility.


Yes! Crucial point here - so how will you live this realization practically Joseph?

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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Joseph Stein » 05 Apr 2012, 18:01

I will live this realization practically by being in self-honesty breath by breath and knowing that I always have to take the point back to self. If I see my mind move against this I will stop breath and tell myself I am here.

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Lindsay
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Lindsay » 05 Apr 2012, 18:21

Joseph Stein wrote:I will live this realization practically by being in self-honesty breath by breath and knowing that I always have to take the point back to self. If I see my mind move against this I will stop breath and tell myself I am here.


Cool Joseph

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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Joseph Stein » 05 Apr 2012, 22:51

I just read this article done by Jack and he was talking about fears and suppressing them and the physical manifestation of one suppressing their fears. After reading it I decided to write about a fear that is coming up within me today. The fear is of the unknown. The thing that brought up this fear is when I considered calling my friend that I left off on a bad note. I fear what he will say. I fear what will happen. I fear that I will go to his house and have to face everyone in the family because I was once part of that family. We were really close. Its been almost a year since I have spoke to any of them. Shit what I really fear is having to stand in front of them and explain myself for my actions. I remember writing about what happened between us when I first introduced myself to the forum and looking back on it I can see what happened. I had reactions of jealousy, hate, anger, depression, and being unworthy and I was holding them responsible for those things because I really believed that they were the cause of my reactions. So yeah looking back at it I can see how I created the situation of us splitting apart.

Im not trying to get their approval so that I can be and feel relieved. Or maybe it is because why would I have fear? I should be confident in being able to talk to them and show them how I have taken responsibility. When I think of that I have no fear but when I think of and get lost in my mind about what happened then I experience fear. So I guess this is a matter of bringing myself back to here because I already know know what I must do but I keep on having reactions of fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for going off in the mind and not remain here with the breath to be able to see and do what it is that I am currently working with in a common sensible way.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for going in the mind so that I could suppress this point of fear because I wasnt in and as the breath in which I let myself continue the endless cycles of suppression of fears
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not being aware of when I enter my mind so that I cannot see what is best for all or any real common sense

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Lindsay
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Lindsay » 05 Apr 2012, 23:34

Cool you are seeing this fear Joseph, and within this specific context as well.

Joseph Stein wrote:So I guess this is a matter of bringing myself back to here because I already know know what I must do but I keep on having reactions of fear.


Best to not guess, but to live this as yourself - in that, when and as you see yourself going into your mind and reacting in fear, you make an agreement with yourself that you will stop, breathe, bring yourself back here, and walk through your fear with/as breath as your anchor - to not float away into reactions when you see clearly where that takes you: into isolation, limitation, suppression and -- fear.

Who wants to live that way? Nobody.

You say you 'already know what you must do' <-- So, transform that knowledge and information about yourself, into a practical living example, and live that knowing physically.

Enjoy

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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Joseph Stein » 22 Jan 2013, 05:49

Right now I feel like shit and i just got done crying because my girlfriend broke up with me. I said some mean things to her and she said that she thinks its healthier for us to be apart and that if we get back together then we do and if we dont then we dont. I wanted to work towards something better and but she said it didnt work so its basically up to chance and i dont like that. This break up really gets me and trigger past memories and old patterns of wanting to give up and not do anything and just stay in my house and also wanting to kill myself. I want to give everything up. I want to give in and go back into my stuckness where i feel safe. Its so hard right now, it feels like i am a brick wall. My first reaction was anger but i managed to stop myself from participating in those thoughts and then stop myself from going into my stuckness and now i am here writing. I think i know why i got so hurt and its because i dont have any intimacy with myself. Thats what i found when i took the point back to myself when i was crying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to go back into my stuckness and give up everything in my life because my girlfriend broke up with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to kill myself because my girlfriend broke up with me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for letting myself react so intensely because of another being's actions, where i am not the directive principle but my reactions toward my girlfriend breaking up with me is directing me.

Marlen
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Marlen » 22 Jan 2013, 07:23

Hi Joseph

I understand it may seem like your world is crumbling down - However, I suggest you consider stabilizing yourself through breathing and writing everything out, which means, taking the moment to first stabilize yourself and make the decision of who you are willing yourself to be and if the decision is self support then, continue writing and share. Whenever there's an emotional turmoil, writing, breathing allows you see the thoughts for what they are and how they exist, even when they seem 'too much' or 'too overwhelming' at the moment - write the inner experience.

What I also did was record myself talking the experience out, the memories, ideals, future projections, expectations, etc - everything that I could Identify was 'hurting' which is all that I essentially created in my imagination in fact with regards to the relationship. This was very supportive to see/ hear myself talking it out and then making a decision to write it out, self forgive and let go unconditionally - bit by bit. I would go Applying self forgiveness for the experiences I could see were coming up as I was speaking/ hearing myself. This can come later when you are stable enough to actually realize what you are taking responsibility for as Self Forgiveness here and how you can direct yourself within this point toward a practical decision of not allowing yourself to be subsumed in the experience, but instead understand it and walk it in a supportive manner, because we know how 'hooked on emotions' we can become at times, and it's not necessary, really.


Suggest to also see this as an opportunity to focus on the relationship with yourself, your writing, the 'who you are' without a relationship and as such, establish yourself in your process here, for you/ yourself. When I had to go through this, I made one decision to simply stand up no matter what - of course, it is sad and letting go from a person you held a close contact with for a certain amount of time, however I can only say that it is in these 'bottoms' that one can really re-consider where do we stand, what do we want for ourselves, what can we practically do and as such, do it.

Thus with keeping yourself grounded with writing in a self-directive manner taking into consideration the points above, you can see this also as an opportunity to establish a relationship with yourself and as such see and realize to what extent we have made ourselves dependent on a single person as 'our world,' which is really limited and rather unacceptable when we look at how just because of a relationship with another, we are missing out the totality of ourselves that is here, unconditionally breathing and existing as ourselves, which is what is the actual life to begin to learn how to honor.

All the self support is here, share it and let's walk this process.

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Anna
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Re: Joseph's writings

Postby Anna » 22 Jan 2013, 08:26

Cool support here Marlen


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