Today I woke up and moved myself to do things that I seen needed to be done such as the dishes and applying for jobs. I have a real resistance to doing things like the physical side of things. Like actually getting up and walking to the kitchen to do the dishes or going to the job to get an application I would like to just sit and not really do anything but trick myself to think i am doing something by doing Self-Forgiveness and reading blogs and watching vlogs or interviews but I dont do anything differently lol. I still did Self-Forgiveness and I was breathing but I was actually aligning my physical movement to my breathing and Self-Forgiveness. It felt pretty good like I was really doing something for myself and for others in my house hold. Its interesting to see how I have been avoiding actual real living change and using the tools to do that. So day by day I am slowly learning what it really means to apply myself and what process is all about. I like the video Gian just did that helped me see how I have been using addiction to avoid simple basic responsibilities that can be really empowering and to live out the change for real. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYlwTZ8tJJs
I actually woke up mad and angry and I went to do the dishes and I was mad through the whole thing and I noticed my anger and I was breathing but I kept on moving myself to work the needs to be done around the house and after about 5 hours I was in a different mood or I was clearer and not angry anymore and I actually felt pretty good to see that I changed that for myself through actual living change and I slept a lot better. My dreams werent as intense and it felt like I got some real rest. More to come and thanks for reading!