Tormod's blogg

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 28 Oct 2016, 14:41

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... e-a-guard/

Day 729 – I place a guard…


My words. How, or who… is making choices to pick my words ? Do I chose words for what is best for all ? Do I build and create, consider, care and love with my words ?



Or… do I destroy, and hurt and ruin with my words ?

What is the intention of my words ?

I chose my words based on my mind, body, being and time/preprogrammed experience. On what is common sense and what is best for all.



Now I would like to filter my words more precise, and more accurate and genuine. More organized, and structured. This is a change in my process :

So… how do I “control” myself to live this ?

Well it is as simple, as it is hard:



I place a guard at my mind

I place a guard at my mouth

I place a guard with my actions



I will tell this guard to make sure I create what is best for all to care, to embrace… I will tell this guard to guide me to do the right thing, to word myself for what is best for all, and to not give into mind, ego and reactions…



I place a guard at my mind at my words and my actions… to live the desteni message of oneness and equality – what is best for all that must come through – in my daily life.



Thank you for reading my blog.

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 30 Oct 2016, 13:22

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... stigation/

Day 730 - Personality of jumping away from self investigation


I realize that I have been living a polarity/personality of jumping further before a job is done. I have this personality of not wanting to go deep on a point and rather jump conclusions and skip going deep into investigation of myself.



It is like i have been bouncing away from my mind and my issues.



It have been playing out like this: Typically I am faced with a multidimetional mind problem. A problem that has layers and all sorts of connections and energies attached. Once I figure out a part of it, I tend to jump further, or once I face a wall or resistance I jump away. I skip the rest of the assignment. This is a pattern I learned in school. I would skip the difficult math assignments and not make a deal out of it. I would jump tasks to not have to face problems or challenges. This is now haunting me today, with how I work on mind and internal issues, walking my desteni I process. Facing every bit of myself. Taking on myself and becoming responsible within so.



I will release these points with self forgiveness, to be able to take responsibility for real and not run away.



I see that this is a personality that have developed for sabotaging school work, not fitting in and wanting to skip school work.





Self forgiveness is best read out loud:

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to feel like jumping away from self investigation and self responsibility, from fearing to face my deep self and to fear to take responsibility for my own creation and to really dive into the core issue of me.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to within my mind, like a mind fuck, jump away from my school work and my issues, like I don’t want to handle my issues that they might seem dark or weary, and how I would jump or run away from my issues.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to be amazed over how fast and how authentic mind can jump from one situation to another and simply just leave me in gazing at mind and just living in that blissful mind fuck/not real.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to take on from school like a defense/sabotaging tool of jumping over what in school I could not manage, and to skip those parts I found to difficult and jump to next assignment particular in mathematics.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to jump in school assignment and the later in life when things got tough I would jump that to and skip the difficult/emotional parts.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to sabotage the difficult parts in my life and to not want to dive in there but close it off and jump away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I have blamed others (my parents) for how I have been skipping things (school work) in my life, not taking in everything but jumping from here to there to here again and not being responsible but jumping away from my issues/problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the emotions I experienced and attached with the picture of myself sitting crying in despair over school issues, and assignments, and to feel how hurt I was back then, and from this basis give myself a excuse to skip assignments and chores and to jump from my responsibility, and mind questions, also today.



Self corrections:

When and as I see myself faced with a issue and a problem at hand, I stop myself I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that I should provide myself the time and opportunity to work through any point, and not jump and skip simply from facing friction or difficulties and I should rather become responsible within so, stand and correct the point.



I realize that this might be a difficult point for me since I have lived it so much for a long time, but I will correct myself, because I have today the opportunity to create a honnest foundation for my eternal existential being, meaning after this life. (So within – so without). I will investigate and I will not jump away from old habit.



thank you

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 12 Nov 2016, 16:49

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... and-deeds/

Day 731 – thoughts, words and deeds


some guidance of voices/thoughts/backchats/words here today:

I have lived with voices/backchats for along time. It have been hell for may years. Today I am marginalizing my schizophrenia and my pre-programing, everyday with the tools that we share at desteni.org

And TIME HAS COME to get real, responsible and to become self honest



“all thought is paranoia” – Bernard Poolman

I would like to look at a certain dimension, and perhaps a few different ones also. Let’s start with the scary bad/evil voices, backchats and thoughts: And what they mean. We all have such bad nasty, backchats and they have consequences to us all. But they are in the head/mind. What do they mean ? What does it mean practically to have evil/nasty voices ?

If you have voices or tiny tiny voices/backchats in your head telling you to kill, or murder or to commit suicide. Do you know what it indicates? We have all experienced this…

– you don’t have to be schizophrenic to hear voices

Voices or thoughts/backchats about ending a life, are indicating that you have to: change. It means that you cannot live (this particular pattern) no longer. It means that living a certain way, within your life, and existence that is not best for all. You hear the voices, backchats saying these words: because you need to change from a certain pattern in your life. Can you grasp this ? It is telling you to quit living a particular way.

Also one more dimension I would like to expose is thoughts, voices and backchat about sex. If you have thoughts, voices and backchat about sex, than that means that you have to look at your: self expression and/or your self – intimacy.

These two points/thoughts/voices/words peak out in humans existence. These two points are prominent and they might be alarming. But now you know (!) what they mean. So how to change ? Investigate the best place/platform to change:

desteni.org

check out our : principles

let’s walk !

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 25 Nov 2016, 15:36

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... 2-against/

Day 732 – against

Living words : against




Current allocation:

I was made aware of how important it is to also live the more common, usual words. This blog from Matti Freeman. Words that describes ones weaknesses and strength, in everyday life, in self honesty. So I decided or more or less fell on this word: against. To me against have been typically a wall. A stop. Or a rule like or a authority telling me something that I am rebelling against. Against; is to me that physical stop and till here no further physical wall. Against is like a point of friction. I will live this word for a few days to see how it suits me and how I can redefine it. I would also picture a violent scene of someone being ordered; "up against the wall" - from my fear/rebeling against autorities.



From the dictionary:

1.in opposition to.

2. in anticipation of and preparation for (a problem or difficulty).




From etymology:

early 12c., agenes "in opposition to," a southern variant of agen "again" (see again), with adverbial genitive. The parasitic -t turned up mid-14c. and was standard by early 16c., perhaps from influence of superlatives.




Sounding of word:

a giant ice tea

again + sergeant

agents

angst

anger - st

anchor st




Polarity:

positive: it would seem to me like this word holds much principles and moral. I would think one can build character with being against violence, being against alcohol and so on, but it is also a point of moral and separation or even diversity.

negative: it is like one is opposing the establishment. one is fighting the existing rule. one is against something within oneself thought, backchats or authority program one is against something and that is a point of separation or denial.


Creative writing: it holds that force of being against something very physically like it is forcing something like a birth or a push. it is almost like violence to see or abuse/separation a violent or brutal force.



Self forgiveness:

I have walked spoken self forgiveness on this point on how I experience this word. Which was essential to see with clarity my self within it.



New definition:

against : prevention is the best cure. against is to restrict or to use a specific force to prevent something.


For more living words see: forum


enjoy breathe !

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 29 Nov 2016, 13:16

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... ger-issue/


Day 733 – How eqafe.com helped me solve my anger issue


How eqafe.com helped me solve my anger issue

I was going through a anger issue the other day – and it was not a cool experience. I was stuck in anger and spinning around in my own shit. I could not figure out how to solve the anger. Where did it come from ? What was the real reason behind it ? No one likes angry people. No one likes it when people get angry. The whole situation is like possessed and uncomfortable.



So how did I solve it ? I went to eqafe.com – because I know that eqafe has lots of help for psychological, existential and dimensional issues.


So I found the search engine and I typed in “anger” and wisp, I had 57 different interviews about anger. Some about the nature of anger, some about being in love with the anger, some on why anger exist. It was covered from all angels – like only the portal knows how to do.

So the interview helped me look behind the issues, it helped me to understand the nature and the design of the anger and then to clear out the anger once I knew how – using self forgiveness.





So if you are going through something in your world/mind – please use eqafe.com to help self out.

If you have questions there is usually live support on the page also.



enjoy breathe!

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 09 Dec 2016, 18:13

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... twitching/

Day 734 – Eye-Twitching


https://eqafe.com/p/eye-twitching-the-body-as-teacher



“Pain as Self-Perfection – Part One. What Cause Eye-Twitching? How to identify your own Mental State through/with Eye-Twitching. How Eye-Twitching is related to specific Personalities. Why Eye-Twitching exists. How Eye-Twitching functions. How to walk the process of identifying Personalities through/with Eye-Twitching. These questions and many more are answered within the Eye-Twitching interview series.”




We humans have within our daily lives gone about and suppressed lots. Within the body mind relationship we suppress and often deny the stuff that does not suit into our living and given preferences.

If some nasty backchat/thought comes up that is scary or not cool or “bad” we would try to brush it away or suppress it within. This is what we are taught from growing up to do. Almost all of us living in this altering world (!) have lived this way. Good / evil relationship, and mathematical/mind polarity.



I learned from this original eqafe interview to handle ; eye twitching, and more important what I could learn from it. What energy was behind it all. How could I end my eye twitching and forgive it, let it go, and move on.



I was able to follow the instructions from this interview about eye twitching. And I would see what was the cause of it was and I would forgive myself for my participation as such and leave it behind me like nothingness.

The specific interview on Eye-Twitching was my one assistance to find it within myself to heal, naming the energy within self forgiveness.

You can go to eqafe.com, press your key word on the search bar, and there will most likely be several products for you to choose from, delivered to your ear.



Please drop me a comment if you have any questions.



enjoy the fantastic products of: eqafe.com

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 29 Dec 2016, 16:11

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... k-to-self/

Day 735 – trace.it.back.to.self




we are born equals. we all have a mind consciousness system to deal with. we are all equally responsible for everything that takes place on this earth of ours. all of it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give the world some slack, meaning I would think and assume that the words human population has had enough, of suffering and consequences and that I would be (the) one to bring hope or a sense or saying “relax” and “don’t worry it will be fine”, when it will obviously take quite some more self investigation and introspection of mind and living to be able to relax and not worry, because as long as people are not really pointing all things (everything) back to self and becoming equalized with it/matters – things will not become good or pleasant – it will only worsen, with the suppression of responsibility and honesty, life and circumstances – when will we really wake up ?



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not been able to realize and fully understand the importance of the words so within so without – meaning what i carry within will be reflected without, and I should clear my insides and my within before i can expect any sort of change without – the math is easy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to take on points in real time like taking on (sudden) anxiety – with self forgiveness, and if i push it away, instead of forgiving it it will have consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a urge to give the world ease, hidden here is the secret mind, or me being in power and in control, to then like a king – grant this ease to people, and tell them to don’t worry, when there is all reason to worry, and to rather than suppressing even more in the cultural glam and to judge system, external, we must each and everyone or us become responsible – trace it back to self – for everything that takes place on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like screaming into the ear of all people on earth – trace it back to self – since that is what we need, to forgive our self for all the layers and energies within to be clear stable and not depending on feelings and emotions and then no longer locked in polarity/mind.



I commit myself to be the pioneer in my living with tracing everything back to myself, to cover all parts with and to forgive myself in detail for everything, and guide others in doing the same.



Here I am reading from Marlen life’s blog

about bringing it back to self

enjoy!

https://soundcloud.com/tormod-hvidsten- ... lifes-blog

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 30 Dec 2016, 14:33

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... al-target/

Day 736 – emotional target


carrying the blueprint of schizophrenia – more easy emotional target of mind




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak and fragile, and for more easy take on energies such as anxiety from my daily living application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not get over anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a victim in some strange game of life where I fail to see that I make these choices myself from within and how I chose to live my life breath by breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I could delete my schizophrenia in total by forgiving all its components something i am doing, and untill i have done this i will easy be a target for emotions to knock me out in my daily life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself into a easy pray for emotions/mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how i make a choice in choosing to take on energies and emotions or components within and how i am the one making these choices – i must take responsibility for it, move forgive and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is a very firm and “made” fact that since i have schizophrenia i more easy sway into emotions, failing to realize that anything is possible and i am a creator of this world to crate my own destiny.





Here I talk about schizophrenia and my insights

enjoy:

https://soundcloud.com/tormod-hvidsten- ... hysicality



http://wiki.destonians.com/Self-Forgiveness

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

http://desteni.org/

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tormod
Posts: 948
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 31 Dec 2016, 16:56

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2016/1 ... -on-likes/

Day 737- relying on likes


relying on likes



I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to rely on likes on facebook, instagram and other services to see that “thumb up” and to give into that brief and simple appreciation of seeing that other people like or appear to like something i have created.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel down and sad and isolated if there are few likes or “thumbs up” on my page and on my creation, that would lead me into thinking why am i not popular and why don’t no one like what i do; ect feeling down and low/isolated.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be excluded from the norm.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be excluded ultimately by myself and my living since i have learned to love/live/accept myself without relying on energies/thumbs and mind/polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to fish for likes by posting things I would assume is cool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the now of consciousness when I make myself addicted to likes, instead of living/producing matereal free, honest, here in awareness and “raw” from my inside to the outside/facebook.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine or think that i am in need in any way to have likes and followers to be “right”





surprising to me, i had a cry last night :




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq2K5AR ... e=youtu.be



http://wiki.destonians.com/Self-Forgiveness

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

http://desteni.org/

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tormod
Posts: 948
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 08 Jan 2017, 14:53

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... expansion/

Day 738 – expansion


to me the word :



expansion/expanding





ex – pan – yes – I – am (former religious; now I am )



First I took on this word like a very external point thinking now I get to reach out there and make people aware of shit, like I have superpowers lol



Then I saw that was more unrealistic, and I stepped back for a bit reconsidered my standing. I took a breathe…. focus on my body, lungs, heart (deep into heart) intestine, and the different organs. And there it was…. I started to see like some have mentioned before, that I have the whole universe inside myself… I am full of magic and creation. I carry all the dimensions within me , here, in the physical. So I started to slow down, focus on my breathe as usual, and I could see into myself intimacy / into me I see, that there is ….lol almost like seeing life in itself playing out with me directing it, on my inside, it is like the ultimate discovery, with how I treat my body.



so to me self expansion is about how I treat my body, my skin, my heart, my intestine, me feet, and everything within off me.



self expanding is a point of perfecting the within so that … later when people are in their lives and process ready (all in its time) can see that – “oh, tormod did it … that means so can I”, “he have walked this, now I can do it also”





It is nooooo good if I were to push myself and my process onto others… does not work like that. Force is not the way to go. I have to change myself to focus on me and not on other people. I have to come to terms with: that I can’t change other people they have to see this for them self.



There for it is important for me to … more or less perfect my inside and to treat my body with care, and consideration, and to listen to it and give it support. That is how I strive to live at the moment.



It is a inside job, like inspiration, creation, and remember; that your health is your wealth.





Self forgiveness:



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to baldly and forceful would try to force people to see and experience reality/awareness/process and to try to wake people up from abusing this word expansion were my intention was good, but my way to get there was wrong and I had to face this suppressed force or authority within that I see is a point for me to deal with.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for not until after having caused impact and consequences seeing that what I did was wrong and I should know from my own experience that coercion and force is no good it must come from within/ as one self.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not until now see the importance of a independent and expanding self within, to then be 100% sure of what one is doing is what is best for all – and to confirm to oneself that oneness process and expanding is on the right track.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how very important it is to honor my physical with food, exercise and massages etc, and to learn to listen to my body and hear it out for what it has to say, and how I can learn from it.

I commit myself to take my body serious, and to develop a safe and sound relationship with it.


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