Tormod's blogg

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 13 May 2017, 18:08

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... ll-living/


Day 769 – Camphill living



Perspective on living in a ecological farm




Camphill villages is ecologically driven villages and farms and communities that is suited and designed to people with disabilities and needs, who don’t usually fit into the larger hectic/capitalistic society/system. Personally I am diagnosed with schizophrenia.



My camphill life is structured so I can work my way through my schizophrenia with walking with the tools of desteni.org

I just realized that from me living on a ecological, camphill farm and village it gives me the opportunity to have structure. HUH ! We all need some sort of structure and organizing to function optionally. To me structure is like a pattern of organizing – it gives me a sense of control in my living. And after that freedom within the application/task !

I live in a camphil village in the south west of Norway. I have lived here since 01.07.2016. Let me tell you that life here is truly swell. Now there are so many different ways to be living life here on this earth and I would say I am truly grateful for living where I am and under these conditions that is present.



It gives me routines and structure. I provides me with cultural and spiritual/emotional insight. It serves me the best and healthiest of food. It grounds me with good work for the body. It gives me inspiring and touching and dear talks and interactions. It provides me with very dear friendship and colleges and hugs, and it is a international touch to it with people here from all corners of the world.



Life here is season based. And there are things like Bible study groups and practice of Christian tradition. This is of course voluntary if ones chooses to participate or not. I find the Bible study group very interesting – I get to share my insights and perspective from this important historical script.



Now in the spring I can walk outside and pick my food of herbs from the garden. I can go swim in the fjord or in a freshwater stream, and enjoy a talk, a flower, a goat … on my way to do so.

There are currently goats, sheep, cows, chicken, birds, bees, and cats here. They provide me with honesty, insight , groundednes, stability, and realness, awareness and strength – besides the meat, milk, honey and eggs that is also on my plate.



We are very sufficient with dairy products, meat, some herbs, some fruits, berries and also a lot of vegetables. This awareness is awesome and it brings up gratefulness and humbleness within me.

Camphill living with interacting with animals is very therapeutic. A goat will “tell” you straight. The animals, are honest and real, they are not mind based like us humans. They don’t have our obsessive thinking, so they are more stabile and here, firm, grounded, sound as physical and natural. Something I know that we humans must learn sooner or later…

I am grateful for my living in this camphill. Some of the traditions is maybe not of my liking, but there is room to discuss and debate most things. The antroposofic way is known to be a alternative way of living in Norway. Most of it is very cool and down to earth. Either way we can debate practice and reach common ground. The environment and the ecological policy is very appealing to me and I would imagine to all people. The camphill way is by all means a way for the future. I don’t agree to some of the Christian/religious traditions, but we can work through it and come to agreements.

The way of living is simple, and structured and rich. I recommend to find a camphill near you, and become friends with them, visit them and test it out. There are camphill villages mostly in Western Europe, North America, but also in Russia, South – Africa and India.



Enjoy your investigation of camphill !

http://camphill.net/

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 16 May 2017, 16:59

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... xperience/

Day 770 – Cold water experience



When I go to sauna which I love/live to do… I usually enjoy a cold shower in the breaking out of the heat from the sauna. To me public baths are sacred lol … there is a very ordinary and very usable sauna and shower, with swimming hall to it, 30 minutes drive from here where I live. I use to go there on thursdays evenings, for swim – which is just me playing and fooling around in water 100 % embracing it and enjoying myself in the water.

Later I go out of the swimming hall, and I enter the showers, and the sauna. Now the sauna might be very warm, the way most like it. So I have grown into the habit of showering a very cold shower once or twice during my sauna – or breaking up my body heat experience with cold water.



To step under that cold water, from having spent some minutes totally hot in the sauna, is peculiar. I guess I can compare it to birthing myself – again. My breathe become fast and rapid, like intense, almost like a obsession or possessing of mind and body. And that is mostly it, to mind myself to breathe, while under the cold water. I simply breathe and again – embrace the water and the experience.



I have learned that it is healthy, particular to the skin to have cold and hot changes, like with showers. It trains the skin at closing and opening the poors. It assists the skin at its service to the body. And the skin is a very important part of our body. Closing and opening of poors is a important thing to really train – with cold and hot water. It is a test to self and how much you know yourself, in the physical.



I can also have similar experience if I take a dip in the ocean, dipping in the cold water (if it is cold) and coming up again, and feeling reborn. Like totally fresh and “new”. I mind myself to embrace the experience and to sense it all as I breathe and ground myself. Awareness of self honesty is also important, that makes me more sane and aware of where my focus is.

Cold and warm showers changes is also recommended, after having cleared of all soap, to turn it really cold, and then after some seconds (30 + seconds…) turn it warm again – exercise for the skin. To open and close.

I truly recommend to experiment and investigate hot / cold water on skin, remember to breathe, don’t burn yourself and you will be fine !






Enjoy embracing the water !

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 16 May 2017, 17:00

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... d-storage/

Day 771 – the cereberus of schizophrenia – mind storage




Being schizophrenic I bear 3 or 4 minds. That is right. 3 or 4 minds (!) that always wants its own demand and piece of the cake; the physical & the being. 3 minds that together have a core and design (that I currently see as self judgment/rebars/metal – from my programing of being) locked in their position and placement within my mind/total self experience (see drawing) 3 personalities, and one mind (4rth) who controls or governs the other 3. From my programming/schizophrenia I have learned that all these (4 minds) wants to be in control of the totality of me/minds/physical/being. And they fight for it. They have a war inside my head over being the supreme mind… a psychosis/possession. Like a Cerberus that we know from In Greek mythology (see picture)



this is how schizophrenia is experienced to millions of people



Mind as they are, are energy systems. They are energy and they depend on more energy. If I can delete my addiction to energies, I can free myself from my Cerberus/Schizophrenia/mind and the minds control. This is easier said than done. But; It can be done if I work on the very finest of therapeutic and curative care: self forgiveness. Together with being aware of my physical, living words, there is a fuck-load of applications that have been developed and cultivated by desteni during the years. The finest of psychology, behaviorism, self awareness and self healing tools/applications.



You see I have schizophrenia and… schizophrenia is a particular design. Like a recipe. It have been placed onto me before I was born. Why ? Long story , but if you ask me private, I can share with you why I am schizophrenic.

Studying the core elements and foundations of being human, sound, life, energy, mind, consciousness, light, dark, colors, darkness, polarity, emotions, time, space, the physical, the being, earth, relations, empowerment, self forgiveness, responsibility, money, words, animals, the universe, quantum and so on… this is some of what I have been studying the last 5 years.

You see I ask question with my living, question everything, I realize that for the world to change : I need to change. There is no other way. I want there to be responsibility, forgiveness, purpose, empowerment, real care, prosperity, life support, equality, oneness, honesty, solutions, peace and freedom and so on… for all life on this earth and I will not stop what I am doing before I see this is taking place. It boils down to equality and oneness – what is best for all.



So what I question myself is how to make my schizophrenia livable and to something less of pain and burden to myself. Well there is a lot of therapeutic tools and things I can enjoy and savor to do. Like drawing. Expressing, vlogging, blogging, studying and reading. I very much like reading a good book – so I do that. I read a good book or a good blog. Or I write a post to myself like this. It might sound simple, but to many it takes some to actually do it, and in boredom and mental despair they end up drinking and doing porn… etc, etc, etc.

It is about becoming physical, and to nurture from there the being and by that math to stand, eternal, equal and one to all and everything, without bias and without judgment – because you/I have embraced it and forgiven it; as self and made it part of self. Just like neo in matrix – he becomes it all… he takes 100% responsibility and does not separate self from anything (!) else. Not the lady in read, not money, not imaginations, quite simply no separation it is all one and self… do you see where I am at ? Because thinking and thoughts is per definition a separation. It is a sabotage of self. So bring everything back to self and forgive. You would be amazed of the power you have and the qualities you possess. Physical is always stronger than mind. It is you and me as physical awareness, self direction and self honesty that can ultimately become the drivers and creators of our own living.



Again to stand equal and one hand in hand with all human beings. Maybe that is not your cup of tea ? So we all have quite some layers of programming to deal with. We all have things in our lives that possess us, again self forgiveness is key – to become physical.

So for me to walk with schizophrenia is quite challenging. Luckily I live in Norway where I have care and support from a welfare state – that nobody have ever seen before – it is that good. It makes sure I can walk a healing process, and have a life in decency – no luxury but a decent living. So I can make and share such a picture of my schizophrenia – to make it less terrifying to me who lives with it.




If you are wondering and have questions please drop me a line

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Kristina
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby Kristina » 17 May 2017, 07:30

"Together with being aware of my physical, living words, there is a fuck-load of applications that have been developed and cultivated by desteni during the years. The finest of psychology, behaviorism, self awareness and self healing tools/applications." Here, here! Thank you for this, Tormod... you are an amazing example of this process we walk!

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 17 May 2017, 17:49

Kristina : thanks for the unexpected greeting lol... enjoy spring and all included !

hugs from earth

Tormod

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 17 May 2017, 17:51

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... ry-theory/

Day 772 – Falling in love with MMT – Modern Monetary Theory

Falling in love with MMT – Modern Monetary Theory

There is many series and videos on you-tube (YT) about MMT. The first 3 videos in this series I find totally breath taking. Now, I have been listening to many different conspiracy theories and tales that float out there in the global thought/conscious arena, of what is money and structure so, and I realize that much of it is based on paranoia, fear and emotions. As long something it is mentioned it exists. This means that we are truly creators of all that is. The good the bad and the ugly. We can change and I am convinced that understanding MMT can help us take some real turns on the wheel… it is simply to see and realize “what – is – what” of structure and design of money.



Please give time to study MMT. Modern Monetary Theory.

It is a real kicker once you get it.



So what made me fall in love with MMT ?

It is to see and realize that the (US) money system, is actually very, very supportive structured and designed – it is however misused by bankers and politicians. The USA money system is designed and created to give people money. To grant people their money. That is its purpose. To have money circulating freely among its citizens. And that is why for example that when there is 15 trillion in pension funds, there is equally 15 trillion in US debt. This debt does not mean anything in particular negative to either state, people, or government. It just is. For the us population to have pensions. I would recommend to listen to the videos from YT to understand one of the very core things about this system that is that debt in its form is not dangerous or bad. No there should be debt with the government so that the people have money. This math is soooo simple it is hard to see. In order for the people to have money the government need to be in debt. It is only corrupted politicians idea that think that debt is bad and wrong and stupid… a part of their programming and brainwashing. I have been thinking the same myself about debt. Thinking it is wrong/bad/negative for a state/government to be in debt. Failing to see that from this government debt, the people of this nation, are secured money. This is a fuckings critical point to get. Because even if the digits says minus, and “negative” that is a very core value to the people – to give them money…from the government who then is in debt. It seem like most people and politicians don’t get this. All they see is the minus and then they turn red/paranoid. But the minus of whatever dollars (USA) is securing that there is money among the people. Darnest thing !



Can you see the math… boy was it easy… huh ?

The debt is just there… to make sure the people have money. It does not do anything particular (more than so) at all. The spending and sharing, among people, of these trillions is the big question. This is today left to politicians (and bankers) to handle, and to be honest they suck at it. Because the politicians are programmed and brainwashed. Plain and simple. And that goes for all of us… including myself, we have all be had by our own minds, thoughts, ego, imagination, parents, culture, believes, and so on. We are all equally responsible for this. “This” meaning all what takes place on this earth… all of it.

Enjoy learning about MMT – let’s change the game !

Here is a news article about MMT : Link



We are born equals: I am one vote for a equal money system !

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 19 May 2017, 13:55

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... er-why-me/

Day 773 – Anger – why me


Recently I was facing some anger points at my doctors office. I was going to the doctor, for a appointment, to have my shot, and to talk about my medications. A regular thing. I had made the mistake of creating expectations of how and what it was going to be like at the doctors.



At the doctor’s office the play outs where not what was established as expectations within me. First thing for me to react on was the radio in the waiting room. I was annoyed beyond, that it was on and it was broadcasting, playing, and I very much felt bothered by the radio there, that I would judge as not needed for at all. Like surface talk and cozy-talk and you know those talks on the radio that does not mean fuck all they just talk to try to give you a false sense of worth and moment. Man was that not right for me then. I was called in to my doctor, and I would shake his hand as customary.



Later I was also angry because I was not getting my point and my opinion through to my doctor or at least I felt like that, I felt misunderstood, beaten and battered. On top of this my credit card did not work lol.. so I had to go to a ATM machine to withdraw and come back to pay after my appointment. It was a very upsetting experience all together. It was like little explosions and grim faces in my head, anger faces pictures and experiences in my head/mind.



Later when I was leaving the doctor’s office, and also looking back, I would see more clearly how I was going into anger. I could like take a step back within, and look into myself being in anger, both in the moment and later, and I would ask myself why and am I so mad, this is not real, why, why…? Like the experience I had of being in anger was not real. Out of the body experience and witnessing myself inn reactions from without as it was playing out. Seeing how I hurt myself with anger, like a movie, a very strange experience, feeling helpless then in the moment but soon starting to forgive the experience as I left the office and headed home. So my mind played me for a fool and I was upset up by my suppressed fear. It was not pleasant – and it was not real.

So my whole going to the doctor experience was very unpleasant and rather sad all summoned together. I know that anger has its origin in fear, and I would have this particular fear of being left out of the cool crowd since I take my medications. Anger has its root in fear and it is really fear being energized and pushed and channeled. If you truly want to understand anger the links below are priceless.

Luckily I know that there is lots of support on eqafe.com for anger. There is a in particular a specific self forgiveness file with words to read to self or to be read for. I recommend that one. If you purchase this product there is two items for you to download, a written paper to read and a sound file to listen to. If you get this product I can recommend to read the self forgiveness sentences loud to self – to play with sounding the words. And also to just relax – lay down on a sofa and be with your body while listening to the self forgiveness spoken.



Also … just go to the search bar in eqafe.com and write in whatever thing that weigh in on your heart. It is worth to check out and it have assisted me greatly though the years.



this is also one of the many products about anger on eqafe.com:

https://eqafe.com/p/why-does-anger-exis ... rt-part-72



Enjoy eqafe.com and enjoy breathe

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 24 May 2017, 15:56

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... ving-word/


Day 775 - The living word

What words will I use here in this text ? Who knows.. I will use words that I know of, to make my point understandable and digestible by you, the reader, about my certain topic. I will use words to describe a example, and to connect and relate different expressions, statements, styles, and parts of my text together. From what I already know. I will also challenge myself with trying more new and/or advanced vocabulary and constructs, to further reach out there, with my words.
The words I choose are based on my past programming me, first being a child and youngster growing up until today. What makes me to precisely me at this moment. To understand this dimension it is important to understand how humans are programmable, and within that how mind works. It is a study of a life time, and you would be totally amazed of what you could find realize and discover about just you!

Humans are programmable. Just imagine how much money is spent on advertisement. It goes beyond imagination. There are some very, very accurate documentaries about this topic. The century of self by Adam Curtis is one of the very finest. It lets us know how the first spin doctors of commercials and consuming culture was operating within or from the field of psychology and what made the human mind of programming. The social experiment of “milgram test” is another proof of how easily swayed the human mind is, to obey to for instance authority or given rules. To understand the world we live in with its rather chaotic news and happenings it is important to know how the human mind is programmable, hardwired, complex and very, very much like the PC, computer and inn detail constructed. There exist not such a understanding of the world politicians today. So we have leaders that are really not our true leaders. A true leader would know what the human mind consist of. How consciousness operates, that we are programmable, and so on.

The fact that the human being is programmable should be something for a jaw-drop. We have let us sway by ego and thinking into this state of war and greed, pollution, harm and abuse. The words that describe our daily reality is not nice words. We are all often tormented and haunted by evil thoughts, and conspiracy, imagination, fears, anger, ego, sadness, blame, nervousness, depression, believes, perceptions, projections, opinions …. and the list goes on. These emotional fucked up states is one of the very core things that keep mind in its power position of governing the self within mind authority. Though you can’t see it (the mind) you can see its outflow and effect in the daily life and our patterns of addiction, behaviors and/or abuse. This state makes us go angry and spiteful against another. It is everyone’s great loss. And it is rooted in human slaving to mind, slaving to ego, slaving to thinking and slaving to polarity/energies. This here is what we all should be taught at school. This is basic mind functions. That makes this world into the chaos it is. With the projected evil thoughts, imagination, fears, anger, ego, sadness, blame, nervousness, spite that is all mirrored into the rest of existence. Into addictions, war, rape, murder, child abuse, poverty, pollution, crimes, hunger, sickness, abuse of animals and inequality. The projecting/thinking loop is doing its thing; and it is sabotaging life. The one reflects the other and we have to start with our self. When I change, the world changes. If I want to see a specific change, I must then live that specific change. For real. And that is how we can alter it all, one by one, breathe by breathe, starting with our self, locally and be that change. To for-give the spite, fear, anger, depression, superiority, angst, blame, and all that and then change from it. I am not saying it is easy, but it has to be done. The change involved is inevitable. Life is aware and we are rolling and moving. Then if we all can pick up doing this, for – giving our self (it is the greatest gift to self) – then the world changes. It is a awesome trick.

Consider this; it is easier to brainwash a person that it is to convince that person that it has been brainwashed. That is simply fucked up beyond – and it goes to explain the chaos we are inn. Fact is we are systems, walking mind – zombies, very much like the computer.

Here I find living words a very cool support to me and my day to day living. This moment I focus of the word “benevolent”. It is a very interesting word to me, and there are things with my relationship to this word, that is emotional and somewhat reactive – those emotions and reactions I can forgive, I can for-give within myself, learn, grow, understand and change myself within and as this living this word benevolent….

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tormod
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Re: Tormod's blogg

Postby tormod » 25 May 2017, 11:46

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/0 ... s-of-mind/

Day 776 – spite and backchats of mind



Spite : thinking of the fizzy drink “sprite”, when you in your aunt’s wedding, had 3 glasses of coke, you could balance it out in your secret mind /polarity games with a glass of sprite. Making it even to self, inn childish mind games. lol.. I have been living with lots of such mind games.



Spite is, on the other hand, a thing far from the fizzy drink. The health and living damage – differences and similarities, of spite and sprite, is worthy of books and PHD’s and education.

Spite is that “something is fucked up – so I spit at whatever”, spite is like a judgment and a anger act. Taking a piss at something in “spite” and anger.

The last couple of days I have been having backchats in my mind/head, like these what shall I say, judging and critical thoughts and projections about other beings. It is not nice and it just makes me sad and scared to experience the old backchat dimension of my mind. I had sort of parked that and thought (!) to myself well no more backchats for me; huh ! So my nature strikes back with backchats in spite. Judging and bullying words about my fellow man. Not a cool thing to experience at all.



It was happening today when I was talking to “Hans”. And we were talking about a chore or something, and then suddenly, a voice/backchat appears in my head, saying “You fucking’s retard” or something similar to that. It just came up in my head from nowhere. I mean it is like the words from “Trailer park boys” or “South – Park” or “Beavis and Butt-head” – kind of talking and you might say programming of mine. And it would play out just like a sneaking energy within my mind, creeping in on me like Loke, shapeshifting in the mythology. And it would almost tip me of my chair, I was so disturbed. And the mechanics and design of it was old machinery and programs running deep in my mind on polarity and its energies. So a solution would be to avoid the mind dimension, and focus on the body/physical what is here. Mind/head is just imaginations and energies. Physical is here and living – breathing.

So I will work on self forgiveness, on this spiteful backchat episode. Enjoy :



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for failing to see the leak within my mind, that would spill like oil into the waters of my being, polluting my insides with backchats like being mean and cold hearted to Hans, within backchats in my head/mind, and within this I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself for taking part in this backchat in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face these programs of spite and “fuck all” character that would bloom within me, and that I should simply interrupt and delete the thought/character/backchat by focusing on my breathe and at the same time grounding myself, where I look back and I judge myself for not paying enough attention to myself and my leak or poison within mind.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of brushing of the backchats and sort of neutralizing it, and removing it from myself with breathe, I was rather shocked and scared – and in that giving the energy/spite more power over me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless in facing spite and backchats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own inside.





I realize one of the ways to not let spite and backchats win my attention is to not give it that – attention, by not being focused on my head/mind with the programs – but rather my body and physical else. Also to change myself and not be manipulative and to try to control the given situation. Be more flexible – that is what I am looking for within this.



Here (below) is a life review, a review of the life, of someone who have walked a life with a spiteful mind, that has died and is sharing their story through the interdimensional portal. How does spiteful thoughts emerge, what are the programing that makes us go into spite ? How to stop going into spiteful and manipulative thinking ? The psychology of how spite is built up within mind.



It explains here the experience a being had walking with spite. The games we play with manipulation and spite, always wanting things my way, trying to control a situation. How do we change from spite ?

Check it out:

https://eqafe.com/p/stop-your-spiteful- ... ife-review



Here is another interview from eqafe about spite:

The core creation of spite within the human experience. What are the relationships within the process of spite in the physical and the mind etc…

Really interesting and deep going stuff, about the detailed metaphysics of man and spite. This one really strikes the core of it:

https://eqafe.com/p/spite-introduction- ... s-part-174





Thanks for reading – enjoy breathe !


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