MARTIJN'S WRITING

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Kim S
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by Kim S »

Great Martijn I am working on similar points too!
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MartijndeGraaf
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

cool Kim, do you write about it somewhere for sharing?
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Kim S
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by Kim S »

Yes I have been writting on the forum but I think I need to make a blog thread, I tend to be a bit random with my writtings, would you suggest I just keep to one area?
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MartijndeGraaf
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

Yes, best to start a blog on blogspot or wordpress or so. And you can open your blog here in this 'Vlog and Blog the Hell put of Self and the World'. So you have your stuff at two places. Also on facebook you can mention your blog posts in the group: Blogging and Vlogging sharing self realisations, or even post some there. I see you are already in this group. Let me know if you need assistance.
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Kim S
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by Kim S »

Thanks Martijn ill have a go and give you a shout if I get stuck lol
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MartijndeGraaf
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

cool Kim, I'll keep my ears open, lol
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Kim S
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by Kim S »

okie dokie thanks!
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MartijndeGraaf
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

I woke up in the night and something was the matter in myself: fearrrr. I had a problem in my throat and I felt: fear of not being able to breathe. Nasty fear. So I decided to face this one. It felt horrible, I got to the point where I found stability, self stability. So cool
Next I felt anger, really strong, I felt I tended to be angry towards my mother, but I had finished my mind construct on my experience of her, so I was able to avoid this, and I let the anger in myself come forth till it was completely here. And It was: anger I had suppressed as the power to speak up, something I hadn't done as a child, And fear of speaking up. I had apparently agreed to a design where I always do as I am told by my mum, always agree to her plans whatever she plans for me or any plan of her basically.

A strong pain in the lower part of my legs and in my feet I felt when I gave myself permission to become the anger as the power to speak up!
I forgave myself for having accepted and allowed myself to agree to live this aspect of my life design. When I did this I found myself in complete darkness and here was fear of being lost in the darkness, to lose myself, to no longer exist, that I end. I was aware that this is all of the mind, so I didn't follow these emotions/thoughts and instead I found a certainty that life was to be found in the darkness. I didn't find it but my fear was gone, I had gone beyond my fear.

Then I found within the anger point, that part of my motivation to do my process was: punishment! I did my process because I had been evil/bad/wrong and walking my process was punishing myself. I found that my body suffered from this, it felt like I had placed iron bars tight around or even in my body. Painful. So I decided to let go of this and what emerged? Gratefulness , self gratefulness! Grateful that I birth myself
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Lindsay
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by Lindsay »

So I decided to let go of this and what emerged? Gratefulness , self gratefulness! Grateful that I birth myself
Cool Martijn!
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MartijndeGraaf
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Re: MARTIJN'S WRITING

Post by MartijndeGraaf »

to add:
I breathed my self into existence within the darkness.
I was looking for life outside myself.
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