Matt's Writings

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 28 Mar 2017, 09:37

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself in not picking a point to write out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself when I see many points I could write out but can't​ choose one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear chosing to write one point out over another affecting my life in different ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear choosing to work on one thing apposed to another thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no reference for what point is best to choose to work on for building myself for the next day or days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accomplish nothing out of stubbornness as not knowing what point to pick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a point to work on to be picked for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I want to get something done but don't want to make a choice of valuing one point over another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let points slip away because I'm afarid of going for any one point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to having to build myself up just to make a decesion on what to write about when I could just go for something and make it work for me.

When and as I see myself victimizing myself in not being able to pick a point to write about, I stop, I breathe, I realize that if I just find something to write about on paper or word immidetely without thinking then I'll have to pick something, thus, I commit myself to just move myself to select a point to write or speak out by just starting the self forviness and going with the flow.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 31 Mar 2017, 05:52

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that everything in my life is ok and on track but still go into panic about things I cannot control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear external things I cannot control destroying my stability and security.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing that I'm wired to worry about things I cannot control outside of myself but still let it happen and treat things that shouldn't matter at all as if they do matter a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work myself up over things that don't actually matter to the point of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt myself energetically when I worry about things out of my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a total programmed character based on things that don't matter for real but matter in how I've been programmed where my I've programmed myself to the point of actual pain where I worry and stress until I'm in actual pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm myself through stress and worry about things that don't matter, where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt myself trying to control things that don't matter when everything that does matter is under control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw myself under the bus in relationship to things that don't matter and, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why I'm in a neagative emotional painful state when everything should be totally ok.

When and as I see myself worrying about things that don't matter to my well being and the big picture in my life, I stop, I breathe, I realize in these moments I am possessed and not seeing clearly to know want really matters, thus, I commit myself to slow down, breathe, and work my way out of my possession by looking at how the things that I'm worried about are things that I am self inflecting onto myself which I have given value where non should have been placed, like worrying about what others say or react to me.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 01 Apr 2017, 06:47

I feel uncomfortable...

But it's weird because it's like I can see where this discomfort comes from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself uncomfortable where I'm not living my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the intensity of going for my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lonely going for my best potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how easy it is to not go for my best potential even though I know it's not best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel humiliated at looking at myself and how I have neglected my best potential for reasons.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decieve myself about what my best potential is because I was not understanding the mind and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not understanding my mind and reality and what's going on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having to go through life lessons to realize what my best potential is in my living and creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I have more crap to dig through within my body where, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that though my life lessons I know and am more capable of digging through all the crap and getting to the point in myself which must be worked on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking back on myself now the same way I look back on myself from the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I've dealt with things the wrong way without even realizing it because I haven't been thinking straight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress my thinking to the point that I didn't realize I was living automated personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a big deal out of things because I don't know that I'll be able to sort out my discomfort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not resolving my discomfort where I know my discomfort isn't best for life so I must to have and live dignity sort out my discomfort.

When and as I see myself fearing not being able to dig through my discomfort in my bowls, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I must try to sort out this discomfort in each breathe because I see this discomfort as equal to the discomfort that humans are creating for each other and themselves, thus, I commit myself to try to sort out my discomfort in being self hoensty that this discomfort isn't being forced on me by anything but myself....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my physical discomfort on having a faulty system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as being unable to recover.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as inheorty weak and flawed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beleifs about my body which I didn't really test but assumed to be true because of the narrative I'd created of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my body fit my narrative of the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my body as not being strong enough becuse I'm afarid to face myself as the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to teach myself that my body is limited.

When and as I see myself assuming that my ideas about what my body is capable of are true or not, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I want to see my body as not storing enough because it fits my mental narrative, thus, I commit myself to create a narrative and live a narrative where I am capable of whatever I am phsycially capable of where only in my personality and ego do I fear getting sick or hurt or being weak in comparing myself to other's.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 02 Apr 2017, 09:14

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my car breaking down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my car breaking down because I need my car to take care of my responsabilites.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing when or if my car will stop Working.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking down emotionally in having to deal with my car ever breaking down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel victimized that the only thing in my life that need to work is my car and I can't trust it because I don't know anything about cars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the system for not making learning more about cars mandatory in school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the system where I could just try to learn about cars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not a car person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly desire for my car to break down as an excuse to feel apatgetic and stop caring and give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting into a car accident and my car breaking down because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear one way or another my car is going to become a problem one day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self hoensty and account for the fact that one day I probably will have to decide how much money to put into my car vs buying a new car.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the other drivers in my town where I'm also a bad driver often.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being someone on the side of the road with a broken car.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in constant terror that my car might not work for me the way I need it to to be content.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious that the one thing I need to work for me might not work for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not know how to clam down and practically look at the car situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to put money into my card sucsess.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that if I'm working on education or going to work then it's worth putting money into my car to help me succeed at these developments.

When and as I see myself fearing having to deal with all these different car dimensions in me, I stop, I breathe, I realize that in self honesty, the most important thing is to focus on my saftey and the safety of other's whole driving, thus, I commit myself to bring more awareness and action to driving safely and binging aware of how to drive safely where I can work with my car, buy a new one, or repair my car with money, but the one thing that is best I can work on is driving safely, and being less tired and hazy while driving.

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 06 Apr 2017, 10:38

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to move myself through my process with only force.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to use other words to move myself through my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I use force to myself move through my process directly but indirectly and out of my awareness there is many words that move me though my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self hoensty that I've run myself into the ground trying to use force to walk my process and not trusting myself to unfold using other words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I loose focus and intrest easily because I'm not using my words effectively and only can see what I feel forced to do.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I give up on developing and pushing myself the moment I don't feel forced to do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when forced to do things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling back on being lazy when I loose my intrest in forcing myself to do things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to define my process by any other words then force.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to find any other words to walk my process through other then force.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself what other words I am walking my process through like laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for walking my process with laziness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to redefine laziness and utilize it in seeing how common place it is among my peers and among other people with money.

When and as I see myself at wit's with walking my process with force instead of with laziness, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I can live laziness directly and in a supportive way and redefine it instead of supressing and fighting it, thus, I commit myself to take on the word laziness and see who I am in it and how I can shape and redeidne it to assist me.

I redefing laziness as showing me where I can redefine myself.

I redefine laziness as not being a bad thing.

I redefine laziness as showing me where I can step up to the plate and be better.

I redefine laziness as soemthing I need to find a way to always live and incorporate into my life to not push myself so hard that I die or over work and stress myself.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 15 Apr 2017, 07:06

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to give up as I become aware of a lot of the ways I secretly abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I put so much of myself out there to be seen to justify all my secret little things I keep alive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put a great face forward so I can keep my secret attrocities as character and personality going in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my self judgement through acting like I'm putting all of myself out there for everyone to see.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my real face of self diminishment through acting like I'm totally cool with myself in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry that I ignored the obvious that I'm not actually proud of myself more then an energetic moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on sharing myself out of diminishment when having more time to myself to slow down and reflect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for diminishing myself when I really didn't have time to slow down like I do at the moment.

When and as I see myself judging myself for hiding my real judgements and comparisons in myself, I stop, I breathe, I realize I can't see my comparisons because I'm too busy believing in them and pushing myself to hard to justify that I'm good and am the greatest, thus, I commit myself to take care of myself and nurture myself during the time I have to slow down.

I commit myself to stop fighting with others over my own comparison to them.

I commit myself to isolate what I'm comparing myself to other's with instead of flipping out and over reacting when I compare myself to everyone else.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 15 Apr 2017, 20:17

I see the point where I could gain a lot from pushing myself, but then I don't feel as good when I imagine doing so.

But this is my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine pushing myself in my living as being a chore that I would not enjoy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use enjoy as a reference.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make it so that I enjoy doing and forming what's best for me and other's equally.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to create a life for myself without imagination where I know I'm creating what's best because I enjoy what I'm living and creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine not enjoying things that I should enjoy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually enjoying things where I'm used to being in different states of possession where there is no real clarity or enjoyment or self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear using enjoyment as a recipe to create my life and actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see it as my long term goal to enjoy whatever I do to be the best within whatever I'm doing.

When and as I see myself not trusting myself to guide my life through enjoyment, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I need to reallocate what I do and don't enjoy and why I do or don't enjoy certain things, thus, I commit myself to start using actual enjoyment as a reference,

Where, my preferences living might enjoy laying down, but my real physical expression might enjoy getting up and starting the day...

I commit myself to not ever have fear of starting my day, where, I might prefer to wait around, but starting my day is always what I should enjoy for real.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 17 Apr 2017, 06:19

I looked at two articles on the main page today.

I was overwhelmed because I've just been focusing on doing self forgivness, and working, and I forgot the detail Everything has already been opened up.

I looked at these articles and just read them trying to not think about it, and I just tried to let my brain process the information for me so I don't have to think and can just focus on my own expression.

In Reading these articles it make me realize, I'm not as special as I think I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself as special when really I'm just being lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my process is more insane then everyone else's because of how I am as consciness when it's all already being opened up or already addressed in some form which is constantly unravelling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only go over the Desteni material when desperate because I just trust self forgivenss and correction as all I need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not quantify my process by going over the material and listening to other's because I hold myself in a special regard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to torture myself to the point of pain and misery constantly in all ways because I won't gift myself the things that truly support me in my lifetime to develop more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as special when I don't look and utilize the material information out there about how I exsist because my own design doesn't want to adress itself as me not wanting to look at myself because it's all hopeless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest my own hopelessness in not utilizing the material available to me to show me what's happening inside of me that is not special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to install in my mind my own special consciness abuse instead of looking at the material and seeing that I'm not special.

When and as I see myself flattened out trying to figure out what's happening to me on the hidden conscienceness level, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I have supressed the sources available to me through judgement comparison and defenition through experience in real time, thus, I commit myself to through real time utilize my resources and become educated apposed to indoctrinated.

I like to play hearthstone and that's ok because that's a game I enjoy and taking breaks is ok, but since I'm here and I'm still alive I need to utilize the wake up call I have received that I need to do more and stop judging myself so much that I create pain in my body.

I commit myself to apply myself in real time where things happen and unfold in real time, not in imagination time.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 18 Apr 2017, 10:26

I am living the word lazy so much that it's driving me crazy.

I feel fat it sucks but I'm comfortable.

I know that I need to be patient.

I have some exercise routine for my tummy.

I've been dealing with this for a long time.

One day I'm going to shed this fat.

One day starts with right now.

Right now I need to be fat.

Right now it's ok to be a little fat.

Right now I have nothing to prove that I'm just a little fat and that makes me feel safe.

I like to eat.

I like to sleep.

I like video games.

I like my friends.

I am walking a process and sometimes you don't get the process you want you get the process you need.

One day I'll be in good shape.

One day I'll have a girlfriend.

One day I'll stop my acceptance and allowance of sepertation and then from there I'll create whatever I want however fat or skinny I'd like to be.

One day I'll have hundreds of friends.

One day me and my hundreds of friends will walk process all together and it will be the best thing ever.

So that's my goal to stay alive and well and prosperous and to have thousands of friends who walk process with me.

But right now I'm having been stuck with the words I was brought up with.

The words my environment presenting to me and I limited myself too because I thought I was one of the good guys.

I eat a lot of bread pasta products and it fester in my stomach and it makes me silly.

I am not silly I am a very lazy person.

I can't keep forgiving without taking moments to test and validate my process and it's developing.

I as one individual must stop being lazy, but I also must mature in time, develop the ways that are best as I see and realize.

I am a being in a body I am consciness​ but I forgive so I can be great one day, but today physically​ I'm not doing too hot.

I'm not dead, no one wants to hurt me, I'm a cool dude.

I love Desteni, it's the best.

Desetni is the future of the world.

Self forgivness can be exhausting sometimes so you need to exercise and eat carrots and see your friends and talk to your friends.

Gotta make lots of money.

Gotta be a good looking dude.

Gotta grow my hair out.

Gotta follow the code.

Follow the money.

Follow the moment.

Live for the joy of life to stop the mind.

Stopping the mind isn't what I think it is in my mind because I my mind I don't see I've become and isolated myself as my real Infinity pleasure self here infinite vision.

Infinite strength.

Infinity decesion making power.

Social interaction genius.

Social media genius.

Word genius.

Future predicting genius.

Stupid selfish hateful is not agreeable.

One and equal means everyone is needing me to do my best and stop being so fucking fat.

Self forgivness should roll off the tounge not get stuck in the gutter.

Money man.

Ladies man.

Man's man.

Milk man.

Abuse.

Free writing.

Friends.

Soda.

Pasta.

Sour cream.

Mind process of enlightenment.

Inner conflict.

Tolerance.

Agreement.

Shape.

Disorder.

Mom Dad.

Monday.

Spider

Frog

Bird

Dragoon

Fish

Teacher

Work

Ethic

Death

Life

Family

Support

Tummy

Slim

Words

Living words

Insanity.

Repeating same habits.

Lazy to chnsge.
Blame

Corrosive

No life

No Wife

YouTube royalty.

Inferiority

Potato

Predictable

Peasant

Pleasant

Rich

Hostile

Free form

Lifting

Life

I hate everybody.

I hate myself

I love the potential I sometimes see in myself.

Live the word potential

Live the word potential by coming up with ideas of what I could potentially be and become and be self honest in these ideas.

Drake

Tv

Games

Scared

Real life

Prophecy

Real life application

In it for life

Back chat does not define me

I redefine myself in living words, I redefine myself in living phrases, I redefine myself in living conversations.

Self forgivness should not be sold for money.

Self forgivness should not be out before self.

Self should not be put before the life I've spent on shit that is destroying my capacity to care for myself.

I must face my fear of outside.

I must become an adult.

I must not accept myself a fool.

I must not compare myself to my friends.

I must do more for others.

I must take care of myself to care for others.

I must hear the call.

I must hear the call in each breathe.

I must wake up from the dream.

I must wake up from the nightmares.

I must see where I have made mistakes.

I must walk my process.

Gotta play games too.

Gotta be patient.

I wish I was more powerful.

Peace out!

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 19 Apr 2017, 04:16

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reality that my make believe internal reality had not reflected the real outside reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my ideas of my process being tests for me to walk through to realize truths about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having spent my life trying to live out ideas that my real life did not reflect.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slipping further into fantasy ideas of my porcess which don't reflect the reality I'm walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to breathe by breathe cemented illusion within myself without physically cross refrencing my ideas.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of the energetic abuse I've created not cross refrencing my internal with the external.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with depression trying to control other's as being the reason I must face my own personal delusion about actually living my plans ideas process with real cross reference and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry my application fizzled out and doesn't get real and manifested.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed I live in games and entertainment unable to even be aware of the split in my real living vs my fantasy living because I allowed myself to stray from the opprituinuty I've had to stand and develop myself in real application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my picture image and idea of myself having been my whole entire life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being stuck trying to find myself in entertainment without facing what I'm letting unfold as the accumulation of lost time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how hard my ideas of who I'd like to be becoming to actually live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating more chaos then order needed to actually rise to become living in real time and actually applying myself the way I have to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel confused because I create ideas I can't handle in real time living and application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to stand up faced with how diminished and limited my real self application in living beyond entertainer in my mind really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the whole world as being against me making something real of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my body for not being good enough for me to stand in the face of everything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the real work I must put into living as anything but enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my lack of enjoyment and movement towards my goals is because I've been walking a mind process of survival instead of a real self acceptance process.

When and as I see myself fearing the danger and scarrieness of actual living and self responsability and real time application, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I am stuck wasting time because I was in self judgement accepting greed as who I was, thus, I commit myself to stand up form the consquences I've created through greed slowly each day embracing the real living and self movement needed to create a quality of life, a real self applicated physical cross refrencing process.

...

One thing I keep getting stuck on is breathe.

I'd take my ideas of breathing.

Take them and dismiss them.

Look at the words I'm living.

Gluttony, sorrow, stickiness/stuckness

Ok so that defines my experience my expression in breathing.

I'm so stuck in all this crude breathing as self movement seems pointless.

The real goal is to get myself out if the crud, take the crude ideas of process and actually shape them and give them form.

Become firm in my living...

The breathe by breathe application has created a movement in me, but what is that movement defined by.

Loss

I'm at a loss living in a loss.

At a loss for how much I must work to pull myself out of the traps I find myself in.

Breathe by breathe...

I need to accept myself and put the work in breathe by breathe.

I commit myself to accept the hard work needed to create myself breathe by breathe, to stand equal and move myself through breathing.

I need to walk breathe by breathe to change my lazy programming into programming that is not lazy and doesn't let things slide out of control.


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