Matt's Writings

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Major points of self forgiveness

Postby Matthew Stone » 20 Mar 2012, 03:14

Everything within my world is me communicating to myself. It's me communicating as an expression of myself in every sound that I make.

Within anything that I'm doing I need to be able to communicate to myself what it is that I'm doing. I have to be able to stand one and equal to my communication as me. I have to not just communicate to myself that I'm going to direct my breathing in this moment I have to actually direct myself as my breathing in that moment so the communication is not just something that's ever going to be discarded it will always be a way to show myself where I'm standing in the moment what It is that I'm going to about it in that moment of realizing something is off. It's just as well me investigating within self honestly communicating to myself that something is off in this moment.

Will I stop the mind and breathe? Write out any response that I'm aware of? What principles can I apply If I'm not even communicating within myself and give myself within self communication self awareness.

I wake up and I start the day with breathing and finding a place within myself where I can feel my breathe. So I'm breathing and I'm feeling my breathe and it's nice, but it's not as effective as it could be.

I'm directing myself within breathe one moment and then the next I'm not. So it's like everything in me is going up and down and I'm breathing into different areas of myself until I reach a point where It's too much and I totally suppress myself without even realizing it then go into any form of mind state.

It makes sense because if all I'm communicating to myself is that I need to keep breathing will that's easy I'm always breathing, but self directed and consistent breathing aligned with stopping mind participation and applying self forgiveness within my day to support me in realizing where I stand in my world cannot be done if all I'm communicating to myself is I'm breathing now.

If I don't in this moment recognize and self forgive myself for allowing myself to miscommunication within my world, my miscommunications will continue to add up and dominate my world. I wouldn't even be able to communicate to myself why my world is being dominated and is the way it is I'd only be able to use what self forgiveness what drive I have within my principles as what I've been able to communicate to myself as being self direction.

Why is it that there's miscommunication within my world? Because I've allowed myself to use and manipulate communication as a from of having power over myself, suppressing myself, dominating myself, and not facing myself.

I've allowed myself to define my word as who I am as apposed to actually living as my word not as definition.

So I'm at a point where self communication is painful because it's not as effective as something that's fully lived one and equal to myself.

COMMUNICATION- My relationship to everything I experience within my world. So when something is communicated to me I can either understand or I might not understand.
DISHONESY-Lying to myself about what things in my world mean. So communication within dishonestly.
SELF HONESTY. Self communication within self honesty, where I look at my world I communicate my world to myself and I look at where I'm standing within my world and where I'm not standing equal to who I am.

If I forgive myself for abusing self communication I can start to apply myself in developing myself as one and equal to my world as self communication so that communication doesn't ever have to be difficult to understand or misguiding it will be a soild foundation of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self communication.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to communicate within myself as self honesty as realizing exactly what's occurring in my world and standing totally equal to directing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself within my world by abusing myself by abusing self communication as myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself as self communication by separating myself from one and equal to self communication.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from self communication as myself by defining myself by self communication as apposed to actually living self communication as who I am.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that self communication is something I'm always standing as, as I'm always communicating in some form to myself everything I do is me as an expression of myself as a communication of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself and my world as who I am, within suppressing myself communication and therefore suppressing myself honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miscommunication where I am standing one and equal to world out of self hate of my self within what I've communicated myself to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge what I've communicated myself as to myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate and regret who I am within what I've communicated to myself before I even actually know who I am within self honestly as the undeniable truth of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the reality of myself within self honesty because I don't want to face what I've already communicated as myself within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm weak.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm any more or less attractive then any other being.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm stressed out.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm tired.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm hesitation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm ugly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm not good enough.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm helpless.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I am and am defined as what I communicate myself as being.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate who I am within communicating to myself to that I am that which I tell myself I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm a mean person.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I am blame toward another.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate and to tell myself that I'm a spirit animal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to misguide and confuse myself within my world by communicating to myself within dishonesty.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself totally one and equal to self honesty in each moment so that there's no confusion or misunderstanding within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate expectations to myself without explaining them to myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect myself to apply my principles and self application without standing one and equal to the communication of self application and self forgiveness and principles.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel helpless because I'm not communicating to myself where I'm standing in self honesty and what I can do about my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist change by not self honestly communicating myself to myself within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to complicate my world by not communicating as who I am within totally self honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not communicate to myself as the starting point of everything I experience.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to communicate to myself that I'm unable to understand why my world is the way it is.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to communicate in self honesty to myself as myself when I'm hurting in my world.

I allow myself to communicate within myself as self honesty

I allow myself to not define myself as self communication but simply stand as it.

I allow myself to realize and stand equal to communicating to myself what it is I understand.

I allow myself to communicate to myself as self direction.

I allow myself to live as self communication as self honesty as who I am one and equal to everything that I understand within myself, that I direct within my world, that I interact with, that I respond to.

I allow myself to communicate to myself that who I am is not an emotion nor a feeling.

I allow myself to not abuse myself within miscommunication to myself.

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Major points of self forgiveness

Postby Matthew Stone » 20 Mar 2012, 03:55

^^^ I allow myself to not communicate to myself that I'm exsisting as any point that is not reflective of who I am within self realazation as self honesty.

I allow myself to investigate the starting point of my actions and thoughts and lving so that I can communicate self honestly what it is that drives me within my world as me and as the seperation I've placed to work for me as abuse.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Marlen » 20 Mar 2012, 08:04

Hey Matt - FYI: I've merged both threads now

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 20 Mar 2012, 20:19

Last post I wrote was about communication. Which has to do with my self direction in my world.

I cannot direct myself to just breathe and relax when I'm communicating to myself all this other information like telling myself that I'm tired and telling myself I'm unable to relax. Telling myself how to relax as apposed to just relaxing as who I am. I can't communicate myself as self direction as in I can't move myself and self direct myself if I can't even show myself and explain to myself how to do that, if I have not formed any principles to base myself off of and live by as who I am. So communication is also part of communicating self honesty. Yet in my communication I've learned to lie to myself to respond to things that I will then learn to program myself by.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct/communicate to myself to respond to something.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct/communicate to myself that I should respond to something further developing myself programming.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not communicate to myself that I'm walking a process of stopping any participation in response.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate and direct myself according to any response.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop response the moment it comes up in my world and then investigate it and realize how it became why I allowed it and how can I apply self forgiveness.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to direct myself as self communication as myself and take self responsibility for all responses by stopping them the moment they come up and also making sure to investigate myself as the origin of the response.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to clearly communicate to myself and direct my living so that I realize that each moment I must stop any participation in abuse as responding to anything, as in stopping myself the moment I realize myself as becoming responsive to anything in my environment.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop participation in the responses because I don't understand what the problem is.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in abuse in responding just because it isn't having an absolute direct effect on me yet.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my response is too much to stop.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize myself as self direction as being able to direct my allowance of participation within responding to my environment because my response is my allowance.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to trust my power of self direction as who I am because all I've ever known was power over myself as abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my power over myself as self abuse to abuse and neglect myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that self direction and self forgiveness is proof that I can have power as who I am without abusing myself with power of self hate as abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust my power as who I am because I fear the power I have over myself to totally neglect my process.

I allow myself to prove myself within self direction self forgiveness and process as who I am as not having power over myself but having power as who I am.

I allow myself to stop participating in response the moment I realize that I'm neglecting myself responsibility and becoming responsive.
I allow myself to stop participation in the response because I don't see any problem in the response.
I allow myself to stop my abuse participation by stopping response the moment I realize I'm participating even though It's not having an immediate effect on me.
I allow myself myself to respect and manifest myself as life here by stopping any participation within response then investigating and self forgiving so that I can live here as a reflection of who I am and no more.

So if any more responses come up in my world I'll simply allow myself to direct myself within breathe and stop participation.

I also need to find a way to deal with thoughts. and back chats. And songs stuck in my head.

I find myself directing my world according to my mind still. This work at all, because my direction has to be from who I am for me to be effective in living and application of self forgiveness. The mind is still a tool but not something to let direct my world in any form. Not something to suppress, but stopped by self direction within breathe not trying to stop my mind from playing out my programming. As breathing and finding a platform of stability within myself as self direction as breathe when a thought, backchat anything comes up I'll be able to easily realize within myself not just how it disturbs my balance within myself as breathe but where in my world am I not standing equal to allow that thought or separation to activate.

When a thought, or anything of my mind comes up I need to be able to recognize my relationship to it. I need to recognize if it's something that is so much in my direction as my allowance as me directly allowing that thought that I can actually stop it as I've already applied self forgiveness in relationship to it, or is it of a different nature that needs new attention and a new approach within self forgiveness. Any participation in the thoughts though that isn't me directing the thought within self investigation and self forgiveness must be stopped.

So if there's a thought in my head that I cannot understand at the moment that I cannot realize it as my allowance and figure out where in me is the starting point that I'm allowing the separation for the thought to occur then I should be able to simply place myself into my breathe to direct myself and stop the thought within directing myself here where there's no room for the thought to even take place in my world, until further investigation in relationship to the thought and it's nature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in any thoughts, feelings, emotions, anything that's separate from who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself according to the mind as separation.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to direct myself here using and implementing the mind into learning and understanding how to stop separation and direct myself physically within my own breathe.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct myself according to my mind by not moving myself according to my own direction my own understanding my own self forgiveness application but instead moving myself according to how I feel in a moment, or to what I'm thinking about, as in moving myself not here as me directing myself, but moving myself here within thought participation by having a thought about how to direct myself or having a feeling that I focus on and then direct myself according to the mind by not realizing myself as the feeling but directing my living to have feelings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to direct my world to have thoughts, feelings, emotions as apposed to directing myself to stop separation.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to constantly direct myself to stop any separation by breathing and directing myself in my own physical body so that I can physically direct the separation that the mind places on me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to place myself into my body when a thought arises so that I can physical direct the separation.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to place myself physically within breathe and self direction when a feeling arises so that I can physically direct the feelings.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility by placing everything within the physical as my constant reference point.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let thoughts distract me from realizing myself within the physical within self direction and breathe.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to physically investigate how the separation I allow effects me within the physical.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self responsibility for myself as the physical by not investigating the harm done by my allowance of separation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear breaking things down and giving them physical context because there's no hiding within the physical.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear standing up as who I am and realizing myself as the abuse I've caused myself by placing myself into the physical constantly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the self responsibility within standing up because I don't want to face the reality of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let anything be overlooked within the mind or within the physical because I want to have power over who I am and cannot do that If I look the physical straight forward.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to have power over the physical within abuse and self neglect.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live as who I am within the physical by facing myself and the totality of myself within the physical context.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in separation from the physical without directing myself to investigate and see just what I'm really doing when I allow myself to not live physical.

I allow myself to take any thoughts, feelings, separation from who I am and place it into the physical the moment it arises so that I can investigate within myself form the point of myself.
I allow myself to work toward realizing myself constantly within everyday by applying myself within the breathe so that I can give all my separation allowance a physical reference point a physical context where I can realize how the thoughts are really effecting me.
I allow myself to direct myself within informed self aware self directed breathing as what's best for the physical as apposed to letting feelings, and emotions move me without me even investing why.
I allow myself to investigate my thoughts, feelings, and separations within writing and self forgiveness.
I allow myself to realize it takes time to live physically and the process is not something I can prove simply by breathing but in fact breathing, self application, self forgiveness, self direction, and practical living statements and principles.
I allow myself to trust myself to physically direct myself within breathe and while working also within self forgiveness and self application to stop separation that prevents me from understanding the physical as who I am.

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 20 Mar 2012, 23:43

If I trusted myself toattly and unconditionaly there wouldn't be any need to be specific and apply myself in the moment as who I am. If I trusted myself totally and just trusted each and everything in my world to perfectly fit together and flow effortlessly into place. If I trusted myself that much I would be already exsisting as specific in my world.

For self trust to form I can't leave errors laying around. If I can't direct myself to specifically adress everything in my world from a point of self honesty I can't develop toatl self trust. How will I trust myself if I don't make myself and direct myself within being totally accountable for myself and my breathe, in my body, and for my own actions.

How can I specifically clean myself up piece by piece if I hate myself for how complicated I've made my living.

How can I walk the process of reach toatl self trust if I won't even walk the process of not hating myself.

I hate how complicated I've made my world.
I can't make my world simple as life because I hate myself to much to be specific in each moment each breathe as a reflection of myself, and developing self trust within that.

Self hate's a big set back. Being specefic is also important for me so that I don't leave any space left unatended where self hate and seperation can form and develop.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for how difficult I've made being self honest within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself changing as who I am within hating and resenting who I am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create myself as totally helpless by hating myself in any way which does nothing to support me in what I need to change nor in what I can do about it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself in any way as apposed to simply being specefic within my world so I can realize what needs to change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from changing by holding onto what I've created within hate of what I've created.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disown myself as self change by hating myself in any way.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have control over myself by hating myself because I cannot change when I hate myself so I'm stuck with myself in hate of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to being forever stuck in what I've created out of hate of what I've created.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for not being good enough and not being able to satisfy myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take what I want from myself so that I can try to satisfy myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be able to satisfy myself as life because I take what I want to take from myself as apposed to actually opening myself up and seeing who I am within satisfaction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for not being able to satisfy myself before opeing myself up to see who I am within satiffaction.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to specifically take each part of myself as who I am into consdieration within self forgivenessa and self honesty and self direction.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take each part of myself into consideration out of self hate.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to align myself as who I am as taking each part of myself into consideration in each moment out of self hate of the challange I've made living.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to change anything at all due to self hate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for not allowing myself to open myself up to myself as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate how difficult I've made living without realizing that in my hate I'm unable to specically see what it is that I can do to support and help myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself support and help within myself and my world out of hate of my world as doing all I can to deny facing myself one and equal to myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny self honesty in my self hate by do everything I can as self hate as denying, not wanting to see, not feeling like it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny specifically standing equal to myself within self hate as denying myself facing myself one and equal denying myself realizing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself for not changing and then do nothing about it because I'm allowing myself to be influenced by self hate not self support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate my process of self application and self corrective living because I want instant gratification.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny myself within the process I'm walking because I'm allowing myself to hate myself for the difficulty of my process.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disempower myself within my process of self forgiveness because in my self hate I don't want a process of time I want a reward now in this moment without having to realize the actual consequences of my actions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the consequences of everything that I allow within my world out of self hate as not wanting to have to face myself as what I personally maniefest for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate that which I've judged within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate what I've judged as what I define myself by within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself by what I know before I can even apply self honesty to discover who I am beyond who I think I am or have judged myself by.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make my process difficult within self hate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hate myself before I can even go into myself and actually know myself even a little bit.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow thoughts and back chats in my head because I hate myself and don't want to face myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my mind as a tool of hate as apposed to using my mind as a tool to assisst me within self realazation and self application.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced within my world and my living out of self hate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to supress my voice of who I am within self hate of the voice before I can even hear the voice here as myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not allow myself to apply myself within self movement and self forgiveness as living here because I hate what I hear from myself before I can even express who I am.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take self hate back to myself and place it within a physical context to see just how evil my actions are when influeced by self hate.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own hatred.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing my own self hate and self destruction.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize fear, and hate are not who I am and never will be a reflection of life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let fear and hate exsist within my world by allowing myself to be influenced by them as apposed to stopping them in one breathe.

I allow myself to not hate myself.
I allow myself to specifically look at my actions and look what I'm doing so I can see if I'm acting off of hate of myself or if I'm actually moving myself here.
I allow myself to stop any action based off self hate the moment I realzie I'm doing it.
I allow myself to not participate in self hate whatsoever.
I allow myself to place my actions into the physical within self hate so I can see just how I'm supressing and harming myself when I allow myself to act off hate as apposed to self hoensty.
I allow myself to speak up clearly within myself when faced with self hate.
I allow myself to stop self hate and self fear in a single breathe.
I allow myself to specifically live within each moment so I leave no room for self hate and self sabatoge.
I allow myself to realize walking out of self hate, and self fear is a process that will take time and application and living not just something that will occur and then I'll be done.

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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby barbara » 21 Mar 2012, 09:14

Very cool self-forgiveness and self-support here, Matt. Thanks for sharing!

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 22 Mar 2012, 02:49

Guilt of falling.

When I fall I could learn to pick myself back up learn from where I feel. When I feel guilty I let myself carry the weight that made me fall with no attempt to get back up.

I could be breathing and just observing myself directing myself and suddenly something comes up and I go into a state of being an energetic passerby where I'm here but I'm not directing myself here I'm not breathing, but I could be, but I'm letting the weight and the pain of the falling from self direction hold me back. Letting the guilt carry me down. It becomes self remorse of feeling sorry for myself, but that's never helping me get up.

Why would I hate myself so much to feel sorry for my pain and in feeling sorry do nothing but allow my pain and weight to grow.

A big point with falling and the weight as the guilt as not getting up after I fall comes from the mornings, because I just woke up and I have to settle back into myself find some kind of starting point to direct myself thought the day, but I cannot do that If I feel guilty for having to go through such a process of reevaluating and redirecting myself when I get up.

I went out today and it wasn't until I was out that i realized I shifted because I was directing myself and applying myself within breathing and brining things in my mind back to myself into the physical and I realized this was out of guilt. I felt guilty when I wasn't out doing something, and it wasn't until I was out doing something that I felt like I was worthy of Appling myself and I didn't feel so guilty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself within feeling guilty toward not picking myself back up immediately after I fall.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty within falling as apposed to picking myself up without having to create extra resistance.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself within feeling guilty that I have fallen and in doing so do no more for myself but create more weight making it harder to get up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make getting up after I fall in any senero harder on myself by feeling guilty that I had to go through the point of being not effiecnet enough in something and having to restate myself within whatever I’m doing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not being good enough because I fell.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect myself from picking myself back up because of myself judgment as not good enough.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use judgment as guilt where I judge myself as not good enough and then feel that I can't do something so that I will carry that weight of judgment as a form of guilt preventing me from realizing myself and standing up and trying again after I fall in something I'm doing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use self judgment and guilt so that I won't realize myself as standing up for who I am and instead will not feel like getting up and stay down in the guilt of my own self judgment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use guilt to not face myself equal and head on within my reality.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize falling is part of every bodies process to stand up equally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect myself to be better then anyone else by somehow not having to go through the same process of stopping the mind as separation as everyone else will have to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself within expectations of standing back up.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself within expecting myself to stand back up and within that expectation already setting myself up to be knocked down when I can't reach that point of self expectations.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect myself within my process of standing up and falling back down until I can stabilize myself within having any expectations of myself that prevent me from directing who I am and self honestly seeing why things happen the way they do in my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use myself expectations as a form of guilt by feeling not good enough and guilting and holding myself down because I don't feel like I can match what I expect.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not pick myself back up when I fall and direct myself as equal to the point within myself where I fell because I do not feel like doing it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use feelings a form of guilt where I don't feel like doing it, where I feel guilty and allow that feeling to direct myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by the feeling of guilt.


I allow myself to stop and breathe when I am being influenced by any form of guilt.
I allow myself to stop and breathe when guilt comes up and my world and realize I'm not guilt.
I allow myself to realize the point In which I feel in my world and direct myself equally to that point.
I allow myself to realize where in my world am I allow myself myself to hold myself back and open myself up within self honesty to realize how I can direct my world to remain open and stable within breathe within direction without closing myself off from myself and creating separation in response to the guilt I feel.
I allow myself to realize the weight of falling can support me to see where I fell but guilt will only create more weight until I can't feel anymore.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accumulate so much guilt that I've separated myself from feeling the weight of myself within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let my own guilt and self weight I've imposed on myself crush me without me even feeling it and being able to direct it within suppression.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I don't need to suppress guilt just stop it direct it and realize I’m equal to it.

I allow myself to not suppress any feelings, including the suppression of guilt but simply stop, breathe, direct, and self honesty investigate where the weight and guilt is coming from within my world.

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Lindsay
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Lindsay » 22 Mar 2012, 13:45

Very cool writings here Matt

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 23 Mar 2012, 08:54

Optimism optimizes my hell on earth for me. Optimism wasn’t a feeling for me which isn’t something I’ve considered much until now. Optimism was an entire living personality I created.

Being optimistic I allow myself to be I allow myself to indulge in a moment of feeling good and all the pretty pictures in my mind that come with that moment of feeling totally on top because that’s what I’ve defined as optimum as perfect. I cannot self perfect myself as life when I’ve defined self perfection, because self perfection in definition cannot exists so only can be a vague feeling, picture, emotion, that only grows narrower and narrower.

I remember I used to think this one game was really great when I was younger and it was like a fantasy and magic game and I just wanted that stuff to be real and the feelings that it gave me.

I made it real, I became the magician, I became the magician because The fear, the pain, the suffering I learned to hide it make it disappear just like magic and the focus only on a pretty picture and idea to take the place of the physical power I lost.

I had this experience of pictures and feelings as perfection today. I was alone and I was trying to direct my breathe and it’s hard because learning effective breathing can be difficult. So I was struggling and suddenly this feeling in me came up as I thought about something and then this feeling just was the answer. I was seeking perfection within myself and I found it as deception. I found it as this feeling that I just defined as this good feeling perfect feeling something to live for. Something to live for outside of the struggle of who I am as just life.

That’s the hell of being optimistic where I could just leave myself without any means of principle as directing myself as best I can and just give in and allow myself to be influenced by these feelings accompanied by pictures in my mind, and I place what I want to place on the pictures and feelings and call it all perfect.

Optimistic thoughts in my own self interest such as OHH WELL I’m ok with dying so there I’m done with life. Throwing life away to a thought of being better then life.

Hiding behind feelings of self perfection in the feelings of music and meditation and the past and saying hey I had a great life, which is easy when not actually facing myself as the past I’ve lived and just definition.

It’s too hard I’ll get to it later, procrastinating out of optimism that tomorrow will be easier.

Even understanding how the feeling of self perfection within optimism is totally preventing any actual self applied perfection within living isn’t enough. I have to actually stand in the moment of a feeling and direct myself to stop myself from any influence from any allowance and just take that stand. Optimism is the opposite of standing up for myself, it’s hoping something or someone else will do it for me. It’s hateful.


Then this answer as feelings seems so perfect and brilliant yet looking into what’s actually experienced I don’t realize anything from the feeling I just allow myself to be totally influenced and manipulated to the point that I get what I want where my self influence does the work I need to do within self direction and then my self direction falls because it wasn’t me directing me it was the influence of wonderful thoughts and feelings.


Just breathing and trying to direct myself would be better then being influenced by a feeling, even if I could only breathe in total pain it would be better for myself as who I am as developing self direction then letting the wonderful feeling do it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want instant gratification within feeling like everything’s ok as optimism.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to feel like everything’s ok instead of directing myself as my physical body when I’m in physical pain.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to think of another instead of facing myself as being totally alone within my world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from the pain I’ve created within feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take self responsibility for myself within hiding behind feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define feelings as perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ideas as perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define pictures as perfection.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define perfection so that I can’t face myself as who I am as perfection without definition as limitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself within definition of perfection within thoughts, emotions, feelings, and separation.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand up to my separation and realize what I’m capable of within breathe as self direction and see just how can I manage my world how can I apply myself to stop the abuse.

So this mourning I experienced this optimism feeling where I avoided facing my struggle and allowed myself to go into this mood of self neglect and define the pictures I allowed as perfection.

And it didn’t last.

And later in the day I remembered a project I’m going to have to work on for school to get a good grade, and It was terrible. I felt totally overwhelmed and resisted and resisted the feeling of having to work on something I didn’t feel like doing.

This shows how this feeling of perfection falls, it’s not an answer, it didn’t help me with my school work at all. It didn’t help me breathe and realize that I can just do the work and don’t have to apply all the feelings toward the work.

This proves that perfection within feelings and pictures is much worse then an answer to any problem within self perfection within self application it neglects self application and self perfection it makes hell on earth.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand up and realize myself within myself as myself a practical solution within breathing through feelings and doing what I need to do to self forgive, to make income, to finish school, to care for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blind myself by the feelings of perfection and not actually investigate the real affect within myself and realize how these feelings are really playing with me and preventing me from doing anything in this world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself by this personality of optimism as seeking feelings and not taking self responsibility.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within the personality construct of optimism within self neglect and spiritual feeling seeking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my own separation within feelings and pictures.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define feelings and pictures so I face them as me as definition within myself but don’t actually self invest myself into my allowance and realize the actual investment see what these emotions and feelings are actually adding up to and manifesting within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to neglect my world within allowing feelings to dominate my world without me standing for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the feelings and pictures I define as perfect and magical out of fear of standing up for who I am and stopping the mind as pictures, feelings, and deception.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to settle for less then what’s best for all life within agreeing to not stand up for myself and simply indulge in majestic feelings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in feelings of perfection out of hate of how difficult I’ve made things for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in feelings of perfection out of blame of how difficult my process is in stopping my mind and creating a physical mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to mock the physical within disregarding everything I am within the wonderful feelings that cannot stand the test of time within my world for even a day without showing me how hard I fall within these feelings.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not push myself because I fear facing myself in relationship to pushing myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear how I’ve neglected myself within pushing myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame myself for not pushing myself hard enough within my process as an answer to why I still give into feelings.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand up as who I am and push myself at a comfortable and effective pace.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push myself as who I am to find real answers, real solutions and real self support.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let the feelings and the perfection within feelings dominate my world so I don’t have to face myself as who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within the personality code of optimism so I don’t have to face who I am within my fear of facing myself and my allowance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my fear of facing myself within feelings of perfection that don’t reflect me as a living human being who’s applying himself in a way that’s best.

I allow myself to not participate in the idea of myself as optimistic.
I allow myself to realize optimism is not who I am.
I allow myself to investigate the spiritual “perfect” feelings within self investigation and realize what I’m allowing.
I allow myself to stand up for myself within pushing myself through, feelings, fear, pain, and anxiety until I find a solution within myself within self forgiveness, self application, self direction, breathing and stop the mind.
I allow myself to realize that allowing thoughts of perfection is out of fear of stopping the mind.
I allow myself to push myself in a way that’s best as who I am.
I allow myself to investigate the feelings and not suppress them.
I allow myself to not neglect myself within mind/feeling participation.

Maya
Posts: 1267
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:56

Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Maya » 23 Mar 2012, 12:00

very cool self support Matt.

In terms of Self Corrective Statements:

Matt Stone wrote:I allow myself to not participate in the idea of myself as optimistic.
I allow myself to realize optimism is not who I am.
I allow myself to investigate the spiritual “perfect” feelings within self investigation and realize what I’m allowing.
I allow myself to stand up for myself within pushing myself through, feelings, fear, pain, and anxiety until I find a solution within myself within self forgiveness, self application, self direction, breathing and stop the mind.
I allow myself to realize that allowing thoughts of perfection is out of fear of stopping the mind.
I allow myself to push myself in a way that’s best as who I am.
I allow myself to investigate the feelings and not suppress them.
I allow myself to not neglect myself within mind/feeling participation.


After applying Self Forgiveness where we saw in self honesty the play outs of our blindly participation in the mind, it is suggest to apply Self Corrective Statements to prepare the way before us for a practical and physical self change.
For example:

When and as I see myself accessing the optimistic personality, I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back here within and as my physical human body. I realized that Optimism is a part of a polarity design which i've used and utilized as a defense mechanism to no face what is 'Here', in my world and my reality. I direct myself to take self responsibility and investigate that which i've tried to suppress by engaging the optimistic personality to assist and support myself with correcting and changing myself.

When speaking the words: "When and as" we are assisting and supporting ourselves with taking our power back to ourselves by making sure that we have all we need to practically correct ourselves when and as we are accessing a pattern that we have already seen for ourselves that is not supporting us. within that, we are taking self responsibility for our own creation of ourselves and physically and practically change ourselves when the moment of correction is here.


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