Matt's Writings

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 31 Jan 2017, 09:52

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being negative for wanting to go to bed early where I'm tired where I see,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up for the day because I'm satisfied with how I moved myself through the challenges I had today and want to just cash in my chips for today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into conflict where I see my utmost potential as suffering through and pushing myself more today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not receiving enough gratification from sleep if I go to bed and only sleep as much as I normally do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting sick and feeling tired if I don't give myself lots of time to mentally recharge with sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge both sides of the argument with postive and negative instead of looking unconditonally at the situation and making an appropriate decesion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that staying up and writing more must be the best thing for me meaning that there is no debate only if I'm going to comproimse myself or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this energetic fire of feeling myself needing to move myself to not compromise myself where within this reaction I'm not seeing that it's just a reaction and not a real movement.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that because I move myself within energetic fire is why I haven't been able to consistently settele in my sleep schedule and other schduling principle things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate this fire of reaction within me to move myself to push through my judgement of staying up to do work and writing as being bad for me in my mind because then I can't sleep in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being like super man and burning my way through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to burn myself out with the same fire I used to move myself into action in relationship to trying to stay up and keep all my diffrent commitents.

When and as I see myself using a fire as reaction to myself into action to live out my commitment to my schduels and commitments, I stop, I breathe, I realize I need a fire to move myself because I need to overcome my judgement of sleep being more rewarding to me in my mind, thus, I commit myself to stop using this fire to move me where I see it just ends up burning me and to instead walk out the needed self forgiveness to support me in releasing my judgement of sleep being good for me so I can move myself and be my own fire to move me to stay up and do my writing without fighting the desire to just go to bed and be at peace.



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 01 Feb 2017, 01:40

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to how hard it is to become diciplined within my commitments and scheduling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that I thought I was close to closing things out with my commitments and scheduling where it was just a feel good thought to drag things out like 'im getting there I can just take it easy now.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I thought I was getting further within my progression to be more diciplined in my commitments and scheduling but I was just conceptualizing where I was and am not where I experienced myself as being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself the benefit of the doubt that I'm getting towards my goals where I then see myself sleeping in and going to bed early and then in that reality i see I have to step it up more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I'm not where I was supposed to be by now within my living of dicipline and scheduling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I'm greedy in taking more then I'm supposed to in my commitments and scheduling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed now that everything is in my face and I see I'm not really moving myself the way I'd conceptualized myself being able to .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed that I'm acting as through I've made it believing that I'm almost there where I see I have a long way to go to actually establish the dicipline and scheduling that I would like to create for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about having made it when this feeling good was hiding what actually needs to be done and how very difficult it all is to piece together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that in not really being firm and establishing my dicipline and scheduling I'm left in the same ness I was trying to get myself out of.

When and as I see myself conceptualizing where I actually am in relationship to developing dicipline and following through on my commitments, I stop, I breathe, I realize it is extremely more difficult then how I've conceptualized it all to be, thus, I commit myself to take this realization and apply it breathe by breathe by moving myself to face the reisstance and the difficulty in seeing breathe by breathe if I'm accumulating what I read to actually chnsgrbor am I accumulating what will hold me back and make things more difficult.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 02 Feb 2017, 02:50

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean experience toward old people like 'I have my whole like ahead of me and you don't'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shcoked like I know I experience this way, but that's really mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as having more potential as being young compares to old people, where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to old people because I feel insecure and not good enough my whole life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to outplay old people in my mind like I have x amount of years until I'm as old as this old person I can become way better then they are by that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deal that If I didn't catch little things like this I could have lived out my entire life trying to compete with old people as the point that moves me being spite and competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to preoccupy myself with distractions as competition where I justify it because it moves me to action where taking action to be better then old people sounds horrible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consistently let this construct of comeption with old people slip by like it doesn't matter when speaking it out loud and putting it in front of me makes me feel urgently like I gotta figure out how to stop doing that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ingrain completion and superiority inferiority within me so much that this little point of comeption with old people is something I don't even know where to begin to stop myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my competition is made up and can be stopped in a single breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my judgement of old people is made up and can be stopped in a single breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can easily get away with playing these mind games in relationship to old people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my mind run these power games with old people where I take advantage of old people to generate my mind systems to give me feeling of power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow down and walk with old people and see them and learn from them and pay attention to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss old people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take what I see in old people and relate it back to me where I'm too self centered in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss the saying that old people are a wealth of knowledge and experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I'm about to rush through my entire life in a mental self interested haze and will be old within a matter of breathes at this pace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating my judgement of old people within myself at the pace I'm living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I've thrown years and years of my life away completely where even the past year using self forgiveness has sped by and I'll be old soon if I don't slow down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have feared being old when I was a little kid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this construct play out in me unquestionable instead of seeing how I can turn an obvious problem within me into a gift of not seeing people for their age to stop thinking about and pandering how old someone is.

When and as I see myself judging old people, I stop, I breathes I realize there's no age when someone is young or old it's just a general reference, thus, I commit myself to not look at people for how old they are by stopping myself from thinking about how old someone is where the only time that matters is if I'm a bartender and need to be able to tell if soemone is lying about their age.

I commit myself to trace this point of using age as competition back to me where it's just a point that I have seen I can take advantage of which in reality has set me back tremindiusly as evening the playing field where in consquence I've wasted years of my life trying to get ahead leveraging my youth, which I then have thrown away.

I commit myself to stop thinking about age as a source of power or weakness where instead seeing what comes with age in reality instead of looking at the minds relationship to aging.

I commit myself to stop competing with other's and to stop thowing my time away in competition.



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 05 Feb 2017, 08:57

I realize that I cannot ever expect myself to have a pure perfect starting point for anything while I still have everything in my mind programmed how it is.

I realize that there'll always be uncertainties behind the things I do, they'll be imperfect motives, there'll be ball parking things.

I realize just because I can't utmost perfectly have the most unmoved unconditional starting point of the things I do and say doesn't mean I am excused from consequences where it means that I need to understand everything I do and don't do will have consequences so I need to just live with that and move myself accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reckeless within the starting point as creation point of my actions because I know there's going to be consquenes for everything so why even try?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create even more consquenes for myself by acting out of spite of being aware that I can make more or less consquenes for myself based on my starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the reality that I need to stike a balance within consquenes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist striking a good balance with consquenes where I react to this statement as absurd and unfair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look the reality of the situation where if I play it all or nothing and either am perfect within my actions or don't care at all, I'm going to fall on the don't care at all point until I've walked out my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stubborn in not wanting to accept that every action I take has consquenes where my idea of myself through my whole life has been that of being innocent and immune to consquenes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I've never been innocent or immune to consquenes I've just supressed and ran away from consquenes my whole life that I've never become aweare of my actions and words and what they are creating as consquenes postive or negative but still consquenes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego distract me from the fact that i'm creating consquenes where my ego can do antyhing in terms of manipulating my awareness away from reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego manipulate me from seeing what I'm actually creating within my words and actions in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that my actions and words are real and remain real as having happened and created for real while my ego is always needing energy and never real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have let my ego distract me my whole life from the awareness that everything I do and say creates consquenes postive or negative but still consquenes either way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for creating consquenes within my actions as though I can just keep judging myself until I no longer create consquenes of energy postive and negative but that would be once I stopped my mind so I can't take this judgement with me so it's ego it's just a mental blockage.

When and as I see myelf fearing being unpure within my actions and words thus creating consquenes, I stop, I breathe, I realize as long as I'm still having my mind instead of awareness and self movment that this will always be the case, thus, I commit myself to stike a blance where I am aware that there's no way out of consaquence but that I can move myself to create consquenes that will be more supportive to me then other's.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 13 Feb 2017, 10:35

Forgetful

Fog

Regret

Full

Forgive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret what I have created through my consciness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a fog forgetting what I have created within my consciness which remains unforgvinen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that the constant negatively of stress and burden I create is equal to the positivity in music and porn and love I created growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that I couldn't live out the constant energetic consciness experiences I created growing up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret having to walk self forviness where I wish I could still live in that positive experience of energy and pictures in my mind which still come up but not like the way they used to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can't recreate myself without letting go of light and love of consciness in forviness in understanding why I decived myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the fog I'm in of trying to figure things out I need to look at what I've accepted and allowed of myself through my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the light and love of consciness where I want that but not the negativity that comes with it equal to the positivity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I could somehow get away with only taking in the positivity and non of the negativity that comes with all the conscienceness expericnes and pictures and moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the positivity of consciness was the answer I wanted even though I had the real asner of self forgviness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how much worse I've done onto myself in having willfully choosen the positivity of consciness even though I knew the answer and the consquences.

I forgcie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being trapped where in having the choice of good and evil through self forviness or consciness I choose consciness.

I forgcie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I have diminished myself in choosing consciness within awareness of the consquences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the haze I have created within myself of lack of clarity and ability to be here and unmoved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prolong my process with consquences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my consquences of consciness with free choice.

I forgviness myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my choices are free to me to decide but not free of consquences.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the haze I've created within myself is just in my mind and that I am still here and can still forgviness and move on and be deleberate in my words and actions and accept the consquences I've created phsycially due to my mental acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize just because I have forgotten my past doesn't mean the consquences will cease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to cry out that I see that I was selfish that my light and love in my mind is equal to the negativity and darkness that also has been created and that someone or something needs to just fix me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I have to fix myself through time equal to the time I've developed my consciness of positivity and negativity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that it was over time that through positive experiences in sex, pictures, identity, experiences that I created my light and love consciness as my answer to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have seen that in time I could reverse through self forviness but instead in time reinforced my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I've just made things worse and lended my mind time to reinforce itself like when a virus adapts and become stronger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I decived myself in self intrest without realizing that it wasn't self intrest it was ego intrest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the haze I've created let my ego take the thrown of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have let my ego get so close to compete take over of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not clear out my mind and cut the ego out where to do that takes time and effort and I just like quick fixes.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see it's me as my ego that is the one needing and wanting quick fixes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed into my egos desire to survive through choosing the quick fix of light and love where I felt I had no choice but I was just lazy.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize inaction as having its own consquences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the illusion of action in my mind where it's just the experience of action.

When and as I see myself fearing the haze I've created within my mind as energy of who I am, I stop, I breathe, I realize that through my process I created the illusion of self movement through my mind so I could not see that no real action is being taken through self forviness and correction, thus, I commit myself to make it clear to myself when real action is being taken vs when the illusion of action is being taken.

If I can see clearly again, it will be when I can see real action and real self movement, vs the illusion of self movement as energetic movement in my mind.

Deep down the awareness that I was not actually moving myself was there through my own methods and through light and love, but in my ego I made my choice to supercede my awareness so instead consquences.

So like the garden of Eden type situation, with choosing consciness over life.

I redefine forgetfulness as losing/supressing my awareness of how I got to a certain situation or soemthing within me was formed.

Where in this example in self forgivenss I can't remember how I got to this haze of mental expericnes and movement, but in self forgivenss I am able to uncover what I have forgotten and bring awareness to how I made a decesion based on my ego as my self interest at the time even through the awareness of what was best was there within me I used illusions and justficacsions and now have to fix things even though now things are more reinforced, however I'm also more willing, more diciplined, and harder working and committed, so not good or bad just my life review while I'm still here creating it.

Thanks



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 14 Feb 2017, 08:11

I want to give myself a better quality of life.

I'm not living the quality of life I'd like to give to myself or anyone else.

I'm living a Frankenstein zombie through my mind.

I'm living with no substance.

What's the point that I write out in self forgivenss?

I want to forgive myself for letting my mind get crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define crazy as cool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be wild to make myself identity as special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret making myself special in my mind where now I see special as an individual is evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret making myself special through my mind where I wish I had just watched TV all day instead of trying to make myself special in relationships and through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that anything I would have created from the core of who I am would have just had it's own set of consquences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my problem is fundamental at my core I must change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that if I had done anything with my life even if I had worked more towards a more sustainable career and income I'd still have created consquences through my very flawed nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that regardless of what I had made of myself my mind would still have created the same problems in different forms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by the specialness I've created through sepertation within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that my specislness of experience and pictures in my mind is irrelevant because the same action must be taken as changing my core through self forviness regardless of what I manifested through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the over arching experience of special consciness experiences in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that like any other point built up over time the same inch by inch application through self forviness and application is how I'll resolve it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let special mind moments take me away for a moment from my inch by inch snail process where it's a little vacation from the reality of daily application in self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use special mind experience moments to take me out of the reality of inching my way through my process one word then statement of self forgivenss and breathe at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unspecialness of writing and speaking self forviness one line at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the rock center resonating reality of changing through self forviness and application one breathe at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate that in the moment of writing and speaking self forviness the specialness is alleviated and I'm not tortured by my special speration spot in hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be wiling to stick out my dicipline through writting self forgivenss where I'm alleviated from my special hell of separation and can just walk in real time through packing out my self forviness between work and then writing and then do soemthing other activities but to remain stable thru consistent self forgivenss and doing so often.

When and as I see myself fearing how overwhelming the special sepertation as expericnes is, I stop, I breathe, I realize in this moment of writing I slow down and breathing and the problem is gone funelled into my writing, thus, I commit myself to when I see myself overwhelmed by my special mind sepertation creation of hell to pay attention see if there's any points that are standing out which i can take back to writing self forviness where I can then go and apply in seeing what happens the next time a special moment comes up and see who I am within the next special moment after having written things out in self forgviness.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 16 Feb 2017, 09:04

There's this song and it's instrumental and it's jazzy but like lounge music very mellow.

The song bodies what I wish every moment of my life could be like.

So I want to take the words and put them down.

It cuts through everything like nothing would faze me.

It's upbeat like I could get things done but without getting shaken so able to move myself in stability.

It's chill/lounge type music so being laid back and still able to take on challage and dicipline but in an upbeat way.

How do I do things in a jazzy upbeat way?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this idea of living the potential I see in this song as being impossible because it's just a mental experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mshekd to fear having a lesser quality of life if I can't figure out how to take what I see in this song into my living expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing how I would be able to live the word jazzy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to fear where the only way I'll find out how I can take this word into my living is to let go of the fear of losing the experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying to circumvent my problems in trying to live and express myself in this jazzy way like in the song.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider how I can take what I see in this song and live it for real in a way that could support me with the things I struggle with within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to taking on the whole of my anxiety and stress without using any means of release or direction to support myself while I am walking through things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define taking the full blunt force of stress and anxiety and depression as the only way to reach the point where I then go into self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I don't need to reach a point of total destruction before I change I can support myself to be well and content and jazzy just like in the song while still consistent digging into myself and my mind in self forviness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how I'm able to take on points that haven't even come up in a destructive or painful way and write them out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my process to taking on as much stress and strain as possible until I'm forced to adress things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that to be jazzy and upbeat like in this song is to dig into things and have self intamacy as self honesty about my problems before they reach a point of becoming burdens that bring me into extreme negative states.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define dealing with things as letting them reach a point of turmoil and neagativity and then writing them out and speaking them out in self forviness and self correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own process because of how consistent things come down to going into extreme spiraling out and reaction and then trying to pick up the pieces.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I don't have to go into anger to then write out anger.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I don't have to take things to extremes before I then write them out and apply change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that my anxiety doesn't have to 'get to me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define going into extreme negative states as the only way to get to the bottom of things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can create myself and take charge over my expression and who I am in any moment without having to be at the victim end of extreme negativity all the time.

When and as I see myself going into extreme negativity and reaction, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I can write things out without having to go into that poktn of total despair and destruction, thus, I commit myself to live that jazzy upbeat potential I see for myself in my life where I express myself In that jazzy upbeat smooth lounge way where I still consistently write things out in self forgiveness.

So I take the point of having to go into extreme negativity and reaction before I then go into self forviness and change to instead take those moments and suport myself to not go into extreme negativity and reaction to support myself the best I can when I see negativity and reaction coming up within breatheing within moving myself out of that state and into a state that best supports me.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 20 Feb 2017, 07:53

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to figure everything out for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special by being able to figure everything out on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize the information and perception of other's because it comepelte with my specialness if I can't figure everything out on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to not gaining insight about things I struggle with from Other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself in a bubble where I'm afraid to look outside of my bubble and question myself through other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to look at other's perspectives because everything is working fine for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear limiting my potential where all I focus on is what I'm going through and don't utilize the perspective of people who have been through the same things as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what I'm going through as special like 'no one gets me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest that everyone is going through the same things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self hoensty that I've not been though anything special in my life and that I can gain from the perspective of other's who have been through diffrent things and have different processes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bubble myself into my own process and not let anyone else in.

When and as I see myself shutting other people's process out as if it's not relevant, I stop, I breathe, I realize my process isn't special and is just the same thing everyone else is going through, thus, I commit myself to support myself to expand by opening up the persectives of other's in a genuine way where I actually listen and don't just feel obligated to hear from other's without really trying to relate.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 21 Feb 2017, 02:24

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped like there's nothing I can do to support myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear there's nothing I can do to support myself when I'm feeling energetic.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having no way to support myself but to forgive and let the energetic wave ride out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for designing myself in a way that self forviness is my only direct means of support in situations where I'm at work and can't step away to lay down or relax in any way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient that things will continue to improve slowly through self forviness and correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire there to be more I could do for myself then self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to appreciate self forviness to the best of my abilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am trapped in consquences that I could be using more self forviness and be more diciplined but trap myself in the pattern of dragging things out all the time.

When and as I see myself trapped in the feeling of helplessness that all ivcns do is self forviness but some times even self forviness isn't enough, I stop, I breathe, I realize if I spend my free time better on more self forviness then I wouldn't be in this situation, thus, I commit myself to pull myself out of my experience of trapness by doing more self forgivness and sticking out my schedule and dicipline to support me more then just when I feel like supporting myself.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 24 Feb 2017, 09:32

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself through very negative experiences by smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ways I feel deterated as a person having to do with smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame weed for detererated me as a person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to detereate myself by smoking weed where I wasn't making anything of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed instead of making something of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed to be part of a group and make friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to override my very negative reaction to weed because it's what the people I wanted to be friends and be liked by were doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to conquer my reaction to smoking weed instead of looking at why I'm smoking weed instead of doing something productive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress my development by smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed to feel good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed because I wanted to be liked by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed because I don't like myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to manipulate myself into the person I'd like to be by smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a person I don't like being through smoking weed even though it gave me very negative experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at how I threw my life away by smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry I've limited who I can be in this life because of smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I've done to my body through smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the best of the life I still have and can still make of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed to give me direction in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to smoke weed to supress my awareness of what I'm making of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not understand where I was coming from in my curiosity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious instead of taking a stand in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious of the things that come up in me when I smoke weed instead of just actually looking at them when I take all the experiences back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overload myself with information though smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overwhelm myself by smoking weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself by smoking weed where I put myself in a postion where I'm overloaded and completely unable to handle all the information coming through me that I turn into a zombie just impulsive unable to exsist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about who I would be if I hadn't smoked weed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate that I learned through consquenes but that I learned about mind altering drugs and doing drugs to make friends and can be very directive in relationship to friends and drugs now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame weed for why I didn't do anything with my life where I smoked weed because I wasn't doing anything else with my life.

When and as I see myself experincing discomfort and brokenness inside of me which I assossiate with smoking weed, I stop, I breathe, I realize that it wasn't smoking weed but who I was within the action of smoking weed, thus, I commit myself to not blame drugs or chemicals for what happens to me for injesting them but see that it's who I am within the action of doing them that creates the consquenes as my realtionship to them and what I"m accepting and allowing by taking them.

I commit myself to look at who i am in relationship to my currents drugs as nicotine and sugary drinks.

I see in sugary drinks I like the buzz I get because I feel unstimulated and unmotivated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not motivate myself as move myself regardless of feeling unstimulated.

In nicotine it makes me feel not anxious,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am capable of stopping my anxiety for real without having to use drugs to curve how I'm able to handle myself in relationship to anxiety.

I commit myself to continue to dig into and look at my relationshiop to my current drugs of nicotine and caffenie and see what I can do to get tot the source of who I am in relationship to these drugs.




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