Matt's Writings

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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 25 Feb 2017, 10:26

Fucked

This is ridiculous

This is stupid

I can't believe I did this.

This can't actually be happening

Someone else needs to do something about this

How is this even possible?

Why has no being no thing in all of exsistence stepped in to correct this?

Do I seriously have to fix this?

How long will it take?

How am I supposed to live like this in the mean time?

Why don't I have any ansers?

What did I do in a past life to deserve this?

How do I get it out of me?

Am I going to be ok?

Is this going to kill me?

Am I a bad person?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that thoughts are self defeating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have stupid thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my self forgiveness be thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put my full force into my self forgiveness and swing myself out of my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my thoughts with self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate talking about my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use thoughts as a drug.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drag my process out with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust what i've seen in how easiy it is to cut through thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my thoughts out to be more then they really reflect about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my thoughts out to be worse then they really are.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see what my thoughts are saying about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreicate that thoughts go deeper then the thought itself on the surface.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fickle as my thoughts show me on the surface of how easily my thoughts shift.

When and as I see myself feeding into my thoughts, I stop, I breathe, I realize thoughts themselves don't go deeper but what thoughts represent and reflect on me do go deeper, thus, I commit myself to not feed into thoughts on a surface level but to instead decide if a thought seems like it's reflecting soemthing I'd like to work on and dig into to then feed into it to go deeper and gain insight based on myself and what I see as relevant and worth digging into as being delberate with my thougths living the word deleberate in relationship to my thoughts.

I commit myself to live the word deleberate in relationship to my thoughts where I deleberately decide when i'd like to analize a thought and see what is underneath the surface vs when I'd be deleberate in not feeding into a thought in seeing yeah I'm having a thought and it's showing me something about myself but I'm not currecntly going to feed into this thought beacuse I don't want to overload myself with too much infomration.

I redefine deleberate as an active decesion apposed to a compulsive or impuslive decesion.



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 26 Feb 2017, 11:09

I feel slowed down...

Like 'what's the point'

What's the point?

I have one point for tommrrow but it's not a big in my face point because I've written about it, self forgived, applied, worked with the point in real time so I'm not feeling moved to work with it.

I've worked on a lot of my fall back points the points that are deep which my mind will fall back on in a pinch and none of them are sprouting up that much.

So, immidetely maybe not a lot happening, everything has been great at work, not worried about my commitments/directions goals at the moment.

But if I extend myself further into the future... I'd probably like to prepare for my future and all the points that will one day come up in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn off because there aren't any immidete points to work with that I'd really like to work with or are nagging at me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not extend myself into the future in shapping who I'd like to be in the future starting now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself into the future without any effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume my future will unfold for itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self resopnsaiblity for creating my own future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define preparing for the future as thinking about the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I can shape who I am now as who I'll be in the future wihtout having to think.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about who I'll be in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about who I am right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the world as too big for me to figure out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intimidated by the world instead of looking to myself and seeing who I can be in my world and in myself starting here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate that every little thing I do now is the ripple effect to be who I'll be and what I'm living in the future.

WHen and as I see myself fearing creating my future, I stop, I breathe, I realize that creating my future starts with who I am in each breathe which then accumulates, thus, I commit myself to bring awareness to each breathe that I don't just look at this moment and see nothing going on but see what can I build up to in the future starting with this breathe and moment as a foundation for the future.

I'd be ok with my future staying the same as it is now until I die because I'm getting more and more content with writing and working and developing myself and relationships...

The more I develop with myself the more that my future will unfold as I move and act according to what I've developed of myself.

The person I'd like to develop of myself now and moving into the future is not reacting to things, not flucuating in my expereinces of postive and negative, and so in not reacting to things or flucuating is very strong and stable and so can be supportive to my own and other's development and can be capable of doing things that are currently not things that immidetely seem possible or like an option but could be the more I emopwer myself to become stable and capable.

...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself in ways I see could support me to develop because I don't feel like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being overwhelmed by moving myself in a ways I see could support me even though it's just little things I see how it would add up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being overwhelmed a little bit now where I know the longer I wait to not move myself the bigger the conflict will be to force me to move myself later on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by conflict just because I don't want to move myself beacuse I don't feel like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by conflicts because it's easier for a certain part of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious to move myself even a little when I don't feel like facing the resistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stay ahead of resistance where I know resisatnace will come up one way or another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the pattern of not moving myself even though I know that one way or another I'll have no choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my life trying to prove to myself that I have a choice where I don't need a choice just to see what needs to be done and then do it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to settle where even the littlest thing is always there for me to move myself like moving myself to write like I'm doing right now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the littlest movements like just getting up and going for a walk as being too small when if they were so small I wouldn't have so much resisatnce to move myself in little ways.

When and as I see myself feeling like not moving myself and just waiting for conflict and resistance to kick my butt with reality, I stop, I breathe, I realize even the littlest actions and movements can support me to develop on my own withotu having to go through truamas or conflicts, thus, I commit myself to utilze even the smallest movements when i feel like I'm at a dead end to just write, speak, to get up and go for a walk, to even look at what things I can watch on the internet to bring something up in me, to look internally and see what's going on within myself.

I commit myself to see who I am in the littlest moments to then learn who I'll be in the biggest moments, where if I utilze and appreicate even the smallest moments I can trust myself to utilize and appreicate the bigger moments equally.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 27 Feb 2017, 09:23

I was thinking about what my dreams 'represent'

I don't see a lot of particular things like symbols.

And that's how I always looked to interpret dreams was the things, a flower, or a boat, or a lawn mower.

Then I saw how my dreams show me my desire for my life to be 'more', more magical, more amazing, more fantastic, to be something that isn't possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live a fantasy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is 'more' to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing my dreams as meaning nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my life to be a fantasy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have learnt to distinguish what is real with what is imaginary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to fantasy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as empty without dreams.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I can only dream because I'm conscienceness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my fantasy by trying to make my dreams real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my real life my fantasy life in dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the more I feed into fantasy the more my real life deteriates.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trade my real life for my dream life in my dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not say to myself in self hoensty it's just a dream it's just my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not put my full effort into my life because I define anything in my life as not good as my dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my life to be like my dreams where everything is beautiful and perfect and amazing.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take what I see symbolically in my dreams as making my life perfect and amazing and wonderful for myself and everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my life as not being possible to be everything in my dreams becuase of money.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I make money and still have the same dreams as ever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame money for why life can't be perfect and awesome and wonderful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take self responsability for what my dreams are showing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my dreams bigger then they have to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see however grand my dreams seem to be I can always take the words and apply them to my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by the pictures of my dreams instead of getting the message to take into my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard my dreams when they clearly require me to pay attention and forgive things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how much I need to forgive in relationship to my dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear digging myself too deep into dreams and not being able to forgive the memories of my dreams.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my dreams are the same as memories where I remember my dreams just like I remember my real memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convolute my real memories with dream memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my dreams get out of hand.

When and as I see myself letting my dreams get out of hand, I stop, I breathe, I reakxie just like my real life I need to forgive and correct my memories and expericnes within dreams and live for real and figure out how to live for real, thus, I commit myself to figure out how to live for real in each breathe without any attachments to dreams in emotions or feelings or expericnes.



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 06 Mar 2017, 10:11

When I am still laying down or just sitting I feel like I'm on a boat or have just gotten off a boat.

The feeling of rocking back and forth that comes from being on a boat and then getting used to the back and forth and then stepping off and still feeling like I'm swaying back and forth.

It get's even worse when I close my eyes for sleep or nap.

It's pretty cool to be able to put it into words because this is the best description I've ever been able to think of.

So it's like any time I'm idle I feel like I've just gotten off a boat...

It's intimating but I remember creating this sensation within my breathing as a way to try to stop my mind, so I remember how it was formed and I've made a lot of progress in correcting it, but it's still hard to get a dent in because it's so deep and so constant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel afraid like when will I get off this 'crazy ride', I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use distractions like games and media to subdue the sensation.

I forgive myself that I have accpted and allowed myself to be intidated by how much self forgiveness and correction is required to resolve this constant unending sensation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intidated by the amount of work I have to put into self forgiveness and correction to stop this sensation where I see how rewarding my life has become the more effort I put in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate this sensation as being such a driving force to support me to put more work into myself and thus getting more out of my life the more I forgive and apply myself in my living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate this sensation as a supportive driving force where I desire to not have to put so much work into myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate that I'm in a good position where I either put the work in or face consquencecs allowing me to just move myself to act and not have to think about thigns because of how clearly eveything is spelt out for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by this sensation where I'm overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to put into myself through self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotionally overwhelmed by how much work I have to put into self forgiveness where this work creates reward so is enjoyable and pays itself off.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by the work because although it pays itself off I'd rather just not have to do anything at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to not have to do anything at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to align myself to my dreams where in my dreams I just lay down and literlaly don't do anything directly at all and just let everything sweep over and play out on it's own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though everything is spelt out so simply and clearly in what I have to do still not want to move myself becuase I want to not have to do anything at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the desire to do nothing at all in sleep where in sleeping I don't have to do anything and I get rewarded for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that to sleep still requires to be alive and so requires me to at least eat food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apparently desire to live in a matrix egg where my body would be mantained by machines feeding me and I'd be in a constant dream slumber.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider even in dreams I'm doing things.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that even in my wildest dreams I'm still moving around looking around with my eyes open interacting and exsisting in my dream world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I've streamlined my dream expereinces even so that even in my dreams I'm moving and doing things but without thinking things are just happening.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that desiring to not have to do anything is creating a desire as doing something.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider that just moving myself into action is easier then trying to not do anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this imaginary nirvana in my head as the idea of just sitting around like a buddah not doing anything where all the expereinces and dreams that come with sitting around not doing anything is doing 'something'

When and as I see myself not wanting to put in the effort to deal with my sensations I'm living in because I want to just do nothing, I stop, I breathe, I realize that there's no such thing as doing nothing because something is always happening where even if I sleep I'm still going to dream and have expereinces showing me there's no way to be doing nothing, thus, I commit myself to always be doing something that's productive because even though I can just lay down and go to sleep I'm still doing something within creating experiences and dreams.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 10 Mar 2017, 08:55

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about how to get a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what do I do to get a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to shape myself into a person who can get a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope I can magically attract a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about trying to find a girlfriend instead of living my life how I'd like to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself to attract a girlfriend instead of living my life the way I'd like and taking on a girlfriend who fits with my life or that introduces me to new parts of myself that I'd like to explore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hinder my self exploration to get a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that me expressing myself and living my life is what would put me in a position to have a girlfriend.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize my goals in life already inheritly drive me towards being a good boyfriend beacuse I am tyring to do the best for myself so then would do the best for my girlfriend just as I would myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself out of the equation of having a girlfriend and only think about my desire to have a girlfriend that will push me forward in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait around for a girlfriend to give me the push I need to move forward in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait around for a girlfriend before fullfilling myself and making myself happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exspect all the energy I would get in a relationship to fuel me to give me an energy boost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a relationship just to give myself an espresso shot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too lazy to imporve the things in my own life that I'd like to improve through having a relationship with a girl.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by taking my relationship to dating back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed when I'm afraid of losing that special thing I see in having a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest and take back to myself whatever I have seperated that I see only possible through a relationship to attain.

When and as I see myself defining a relationship as having something special that I must attain, I stop, I breathe, I realize relationships seem like they have something specail to attain because they're so hard for me to figure out that I"m assuming I must be missing something, thus, I commit myself to be self honest and find what specail thing do I imagine comes with a relationship that I've not figured out because i can't find one for myself.

I commit myself to just broadly apply common sense to dating where in self honesty and common sense I know that a relationship can help me develop, but I need to be developing myself anyways, and the more I develop myself the more compatable I become, so, I commit myself to work toward a relationship by working on myself, instead of trying to find a relationship so that I may then work on myself, just keep working on myself like I do.



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Matthew Stone
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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 14 Mar 2017, 10:04

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by my own character which I see equally in others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in cutting myself off from as much entertainment on the internet to then withdraw into entertainment through characters of myself and other's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress my actual character where I don't know what my real character is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get side tracked knowing I'm in a character but feeling I have no choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not focus my time and effort in ways that I can minimize how much I let my character run free to exspand as my mental character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel freighted when too much of my mental character comes out that I'm not prepared for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize when I'm getting into situations where I'll be overwhelmed by my own mental character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not walk a balance where I try to reduce my character from coming out and doing whatever it wants but also let it out enough that I can be aware of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shocked by what a character I am at all times.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that my own characters are a distraction from the truth of my nature.

When and as I see myself over endulging in my character's, I stop, I breathe, I realize it will pay off better to just slow down then to keep trying to push my character as far as it can go, thus, I commit myself to balance my character based on what will support me the most instead of just letting my character play out for days on end.

I commit myself to become aware that where all my characters of my mind exsist shows me parts of myself that I'm not in touch with.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 15 Mar 2017, 07:24

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry how I've followed my mind to entertainment instead of creating a vision a goal of who I'd like to be and create in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that my struggle is selfishness and lazieness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I spent so much time on games until the point that I realized I needed to get my life moving and that I started to realize goals and oppritunities for myself to exspand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I couldn't see my potential to grow and exspand more then just my own entertainment and ideas going no where.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret spending so much time wasted not developing myself where I judged myself for trying to walk my process without self forgiveness and then now I look for other things to regret and hold against myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret wasting so much of my most formulative years of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the things I have given form to in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the formula I've used to develop myself with only a platform for potential but no substance nothing significant to support me as I continue to grow and exspand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at how I didn't realize I was building myself up into the programs I run now where i still don't want to stand up and change how I continue to run my programs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself in the past for creating who I am now where I still don't want to stand up for myself and do whatever my minds impulse instructs me to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for spending time on entertainment to unwind when I feel like it'll help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at how I've programmed myself with entertainment and media where I've always thought that it would help that it was me developing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that things that feel good are helping me develop myself because in my mind I'd like to see anything that immidetely feels good as being a good things.

When and as I see myself angry at how I've programmed myself to go into entertainment and just let life play out without my direct decesion making, I stop, I breathe, I realize that I didn't have the words and concepts I have now and didn't realize the consquenes of my actions, thus, I commit myself to take self responsability for my addiction to entertainment and media now as now I see more who I am within it and the consquenes of building up my mind around doing whatever I want and whatever feels good.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 17 Mar 2017, 12:16

Choice...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear when I feel like I've lost my ability to make a choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to choose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving my ability to choose over to my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mind for making my choices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose based on feelings and not the deeper parts of myself I can refer my choices on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate not realizing the power of choice earlier on in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate the choices I still have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live and Redefine the word choice within myself because I like making my choices based on feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that making choices based on feelings can't be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear loosing the part of myself that I can trust to make a choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking into my past and seeing that I had choices that could have been made differently to prevent consquences.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the money system strips away the ability to choose a lot in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to make choices because of how limited my choices are compared to how life could be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my ability to choose with other's ability to choose which is based on there financial situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my choices on my financial situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intimidated by the word choice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the injustice I've accepted through my denail of my ability to choose and decide of myself as a being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen the longer I allow myself to not take self responsability for my choices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making deleberate choices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my choices on energy.

When and as I see myself going into automated choices, I stop, I breathe, I realize that some choice will be automated as long as I'm living as sepertation, thus, I commit myself to redefine how I live and define choice in my life to assert myself within the choices that I make to make the best most deleberate choices I can.

I redefine choice as taking in variables and then applying the information taken from the variables to dictate what I live and express as my life.

I commit myself to take the best information I have to make the best choice as taking in the important variables, and cutting out the not important variables like my desires.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 18 Mar 2017, 08:36

I was watching these videos on YouTube...

They were critiques for a game that I used to play.

They were critical analysis over the game.

I'd already played the game, and I liked the game, but I'm trying to reduce how much​ time I spend on these sort of things.

So I spent a lot of time doing this, and more and more I see how I could like to instead spend more time on self forgiveness.

The word is vege out, because it's like I just want to lay in bed listening to something and just napping all day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to lay in bed all day watching videos.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to lay in bed all day and watch videos if I wanted to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to lay around watching videos when I'm in a negative mood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming in a neagative mood and not being able to pull myself out of it and so binging on vidoes and naps.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to lay around chilling to recharge my batteries.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that napping around watching vidoes doesn't help me charge my batteries at all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I charge my own batteries through self forgivness and correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self forgivness and correction not charging my batteries where I don't have anything else to fall back on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being trapped in self forviness and correction where napping won't help me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to nap where naps don't really help me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to unwind in any way but self forgivenss.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear relying entirely on self forviness to function at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being nothin without self forviness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time napping and binging on vidoes where If I'm wholly reliant on self forviness to function then I need to be taking my application of it more seriously.

When and as I see myself desring to binge on vidoes and naps, I stop, I breathe, I realize at the moment my functioning and success is rellying on self forgivness, thus, I commit myself to get serious and be more stern that I don't waste time napping and binging on videos so that I can move myself in my world and function by instead doing more self forgivness.



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Re: Matt's Writings

Postby Matthew Stone » 23 Mar 2017, 14:52

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to change my actions and as unconscious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having the patience to change my actions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that changing my unconscience actions comes with changing myself through self forgivness and delberance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and consider that my actions have changed as I have forgiven and corrected things in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting mysked to change my unconscience to living the word deleberate because of the consquences I've already created through acting according to my mind without thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my unconscience actions are wired to be self destructed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to change my actions because that takes the most work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to change without having to put in the direct work.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that even through consquences it will come back to me to have to change my actions in real time and application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the easiest way to changing my actions as possible.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that consquences and mistakes in the actions I take are not the easiest way for me to change but actually the most painful and difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I've always known about consquences in action I just didn't care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always seek to skirt around consquences of my actions because I only cared about who I was within my mind as ego and securing myself within my ideas of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my behaviour stay the same because I did not seek any way to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not seek for ways to change my behaviour because I saw myself eventually finding sucsess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the sucsess of my ego over my own well being and sucsess as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I have become through my unconscience living and creating on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the awkward position I've put myself into through my actions where I'm uncomfortable through the diffrent abusive actions I take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse myself through my actions to serve God as to serve soemthing outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from equal to God as not taking any self responsability for my actions and behavior and word.

When and as I see myself fearing not being able to handle changing my unconscience as changing my actions, I stop, I breathe, I realize I'm afraid to go into detail to change my actions because that would require effort and focus and in my mind I don't want to take that degree of self responsability, thus, I commit myself to not hold back on what I see as being actually valuable and important to myself as changing my actions and behavior in detail.

I commit myself to find the best practical moments I can change my behavior and continue to focus on moments where I can change my real action and real behaviour in real time seeing just how crucial and important those real time changing is.




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