Mats writing myself to freedom

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Mats Bjornsti
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

Postby Mats Bjornsti » 26 Jan 2018, 22:28

https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... upport-2/ Osho card reading self support 2

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : WE ARE THE WORLD
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : GUIDANCE
3. External influence of which you are aware : NEW VISION
4. What is needed for a resolution : NO-THINGNESS
5. Resolution / The understanding : INTEGRATION

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

Nr 1 = WE ARE THE WORLD! After reading the commentary of this card, I’m left a bit confused as to how I can reflect it back to me, but I’ll do my best. Reminding myself that this is the issue, and so, it’s no secret that the world is in a miserable state. And that includes me, I see the longing for connection coming up, and a tiredness about all these issues we have created. I want it to stop, am sure all of us, at least deep down want our deceptiveness to stop, so that we can face what we’ve done and change it, even though it will be the hardest thing we’ll ever do.

The commentary of the card says that <<Life has been given to you to create, rejoice, and celebrate. And that when you cry and weep, you are alone. When you celebrate the whole existance participates with you.>> And so the phrase ”none are free until we all are free comes up.” As I see the problem as all as one, individually as existentially. The commentary of the card also says that <<This card represents a time of communication. Sharing the wisdom each of us brings to the whole. There is no clinging here, no grasping. It’s a circle without fear of feelings of inferiority and superiority.>>

Time of communication… I’m always open to communicate, even though I’m very reserved and to my self most of the time. I see some challenges in me opening up, but here I am at least.

Nr 2 = Now over to the internal influence that I’m unable to see, which is GUIDANCE. It says that <<The truth of your own deepest being is trying to show you where to go right now.>> Also that <<You have to look for guidance because you don’t know your inner guide is hidden inside you, and that’s what I call your witness.>>

Now the word Self Honesty come up within me. Where I see that self honesty is not a 9 to 5 thing, where I can just sometimes tap into a little bit of self honesty and everything will be fine, that’s not how it works. Breathing, living and expressing self honesty radically by investigating everything about myself that I think, feel, and do as to change entails being self honest as the living word. And thus I see this as a sign to walk my process to study myself, and stop that which is not good. Which is exactly why I support what the group Desteni is all about.

Nr 3 = External influence of which I am aware. Which is New vision. It starts off by saying, <<The figure on this card is being born anew, emerging from his earthbound roots and growing wing to fly into the unbounded. Now you are presented with the opportunity to see life in all it’s dimensions, from the depths to the heights. And when we come to know from experience that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life’s colors to penerate us, we become more integrated. You are no longer an ordanary human being – you have trancended. Your insights has become the insight of the whole exsistence. Now you are no longer separated – you have found your roots.>>

Yes, the experiences and points that is difficult and overwhelming to face, that seem easier to supress as means to an end. I’ve often separated myself in a state of either inferiority or superiority towards a situation or memory of a past experience, as a means to supress it by superimposing a state of mind that thrive relating to the deception that I see in the outside world. Eventually it all comes back again and again untill I embrace it, and deal with it for what it is. By seeing, realizing and understanding what, why, how, and who I am in relation to the experiences then and now. Which the desteni material along with the tools provided there, supply the support I need to support myself in stopping, letting go, and changing myself. It’s tuff, for sure – not to let that become an excuse.

Nr 4 = What is needed for resolution – NO-THINGNESS… It says that <<Nothingness is not just nothingness, it is all. It is vibrant with all possibilities. It’s potential, absolute potential. It is unmanifest yet, but it contains all. In the beginning was nature, in the end is nature, so why in the middle mke so much fuzz? Why in the middle becoming so worried, so anxious, so ambitious – why create such despair? Nothingness to nothingness is the whole journey.>>

The fuzz the fuzz – being all over the place – rushing, worrying, stressing, imagining, you name it! Yes, this is what the 7 year journey to life is about coming to grips with. Writing to see what one is participating in as the mind, that want to serve all these wants, needs and desires within energtic experineces. So thus it’s to stop the mind, see what is holding you in a state of illusion/delusion. Like a cloud over your head, a burden that nags continues, leading to a state of hope that something will happen, only to eventually cause disempowerment. Instead of slowing self down, stopping, breathing, finding the practical solutions one can walk, in and as the principles of what is best for all. Where the Self forgiveness and practical application commitments comes in. So that one do not waste the time, energy, and life on what could have, should have been. I see this as prominent point within my life experience. Where life is but a dream, waiting to happen. So here I’m looking at being the change, stopping the mind, not using it unless I need it as a tool to assist me, with what it is I’m doing to be the change I’d like to see.

Nr 5 = Resolution / The Understanding is INTEGRATION. Okay, here’s some pointers that stick out to me, as it says. <<This is a time of communication between the previously experienced dualities of life. The eagle and the swan are both beings of the flight and majesty. The eagle is the embodiment of power and aloneness. The swan is the embodiment of space and purity. We are a union of eagle and swan: male and female, fire and water, life and death. The card of integration is the symbol of self creation, new life, and mystical union; otherwise known as alchemy. THE CONFLICT IS IN MAN. Unless it is resovled there, it cannot be resovled anywhere else. The politics is within you; it is between the two parts of the mind. A very small bridge exists. If that bridge is broken through some accident, through some physiological defect or something else, the person becomes split, the person becomes two persons – and the phenomenon of schizophrenia or split personality happens. If the bridge is broken – and the bridge is very frigale – then you become two, you behave like two personas.>>

Now reflecting this back to me. I’m reminding myself that number five – integration as the understanding/resolution is actually about number four – What is needed for resolution, which is No-thingness… Which makes sense… I’ve had knee pain in the last few days, still have especially if I fuck around in the mind. And it struck me earlier today that, I should go look up what this is indicating. As am aware of Veno’s structural book. Now I can read the following;

<<Within the KNEE points exist the crystallization of past experiences – contained as memories that are crystallized in the KNEE points, which are referred to as: The Now of Consciousness System.

This works as follows: Your thoughts, the act of thinking, your personality and behaviour as actions and reactions are thought/memory based. The entire structural resonance within and as human beings is memory/past based as you define ‘who you are’ within the System through past experiences as memories which you ‘hold onto’ which ‘assist and support you’ through this life here on earth within this systematic consciousness reality.>>
http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blo ... -2-phase-8

This thus entails who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define me within the mind through past experiences in and as the now of consciousness. Thus I see I have to forgive myself for those allowances and cross reference the knee pain in time to come.
I’m intrigued, because this is my first time dealing with pain points in relation to my mind-body relationship. Now I am aware that, nr 4 – nothingness is my resolution point, or as veno describes it – <<to stand within and as oneness and equality in complete presence and awareness of who you are within and as the silence of sound with every breath and what it means to stand up and take responsibility for all as one as equal. / Existing moment to moment with every breath as presence as who you are.>>

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my personality and behaviors resulting in actions and reactions are thought/memory based.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that my structural resonance within and as me, is based on constant bombardment of past memories as what I define ‘who I am’ within the system, through past experiences as memories. Which I ‘hold onto’ in fear of loss to ‘assist and support me through this life here on earth within this systematic consciousness reality. – like a double edged sword – because none are free untill all are free.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that most communication has become nothing more than passing on past memory experiences conducted to convince those we would want, need and desire to gain something from within self interest. Like information, money, sex, or friendship that thus has become the living conditioning as within so without. Hence, we then fear loosing that which we’ve managed to gain as self interest – personality constructs, that self has played oneself into believing makes sense, and thus define as the only thing that’s real, based on all the gains collected, which then becomes proof that our interactions as a mind consciousness system is justified within validation from others as the external. In spite of the existential physical reflection that is here, showing the consequence of lacking consideration in our interactive communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell on the past as the now of consciousness, bringing myself into a state of depression and misery for what I as this world have become. Instead of living here within practical solutions that I see I can contribute with to the whole, as solutions that is best for all. Living the solution to my problems, instead of further causing more problems as the problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cause tiredness without seeing, realizing and understanding that through my mind I give all my power away to the now of consciousness as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, that is memory based through past experiences of positive and negative charges that I later react to. Instead of forgiving myself for my doings and stopping myself to release everything that stands in the way of me living here within and as breath where nothing moves but the silence of sound in me as nothingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I must be preoccupied with something in the mind to not loose myself, not seeing that I must lose that character personality which fears loosing to realize and remember who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think a point is easy just because it’s simple, not seeing, realizing and understanding that the mind within memories will always attempt to trap me to live as ego. Wherein I have not released myself from a point of self interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that how most relationships exist, is only but two minds emerged in an experience or in past memory experiences sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions, belief’s, and ideas. Based on each parts past memory experiences that each part relate, forming an energetic imprint towards in the memory. And thus experience a connection through the now of consciousness within an energetic polarity based on the past memories of experiences one have had. Instead of recognizing each other as one and equal to all this is here, where relationships stand in and as physical union – companionship in and as the breath of life here equally. To express through infinite sound instead of limited energetic influences based in polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the ‘now of consciousness’ within having to face and take self responsability for my acceptances and allowances. Not seeing, realizing and understanding that I exist within self judgment/self diminishment/disempowerment when I resist what has become a part of me inside and out.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that what I resist persists as an experience within the ‘now of consciousness’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the process of having to walk points. Not seeing, realizing and understanding that there is an underlying resistance/friction between becoming someone who I think I should be. Instead of seeing that who I am is and have always been here, in the unknown of nothingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am defined by anything or anyone in exsistance.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, and realize that I am responsible for everything that is here in existence by the fact that I am here in the power I have to change myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the extent of self limitation when occupied in the ‘now of consciousness’, instead of the unlimited potential of nothingness here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and precieve that nothingness is separate from the now of consciousness. And that I must resist the mind, instead of embracing it and changing my starting point from an energetic experience, to nothingness from which all encompass.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting point of self interest resonates from a turbulent, muddy water, whereas the starting point of what is best for all resonates in the pure, untampered water from which all things becomes possible and unlimited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, within the ‘now of consciousness’ as past memory experiences occupying my pressence. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that is the mechanism in fear of loss to remain trapped in the ‘now of consciousness’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize and understand that what is known in this world, is only what is owned. Where possession as self interest – knowledge, information, money, power, and greed is all based on the ‘now of consciousness’ as past memory experiences. Repeating itself into new infinate cycles of destruction in fear of losing self interest within separation from all as one and equal. Indicating that either we change through common sense, self responsability as what is best for all. Or we’ll be forced to loose all the we own and known as an actual experience, to face our deception of living in separation from what is here.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the silence of sound is equvilant to clear, clean, pure water that is able to take on any shape and form within expression without being defined by anyone or anything. Self deception is defined by something and someone, as someone/somethingness that only self limitate and procrastinate the act of self responsability for what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I possess words. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I had to install these words from those who came before me. Thus it does not define me, yet it’s my responsability to decide who I am in relation to how I live the words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to thoughts, words and deeds, creating an idea of myself that is based on experience of the past existing in the ‘now of consciousness’. Instead of realizing that I’m limited by whatever I define myself according to. Yet always responsable.



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Mats Bjornsti
Posts: 98
Joined: 08 Jul 2011, 15:47
Location: Norway
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

Postby Mats Bjornsti » 27 Jan 2018, 02:54

https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... upport-3/
Osho Card Reading – Self Support 3

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : MORALITY
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : INTENSITY
3. External influence of which you are aware : FLOWERING
4. What is needed for a resolution : NEW VISION
5. Resolution / The understanding : CELEBRATION

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

NR 1 = Morality, now I’m looking at how I’am exsisting in this restricted logic of what’s right and wrong, good and bad within myself. I have to stop. And bring forth the awareness of myself here in every moment. Stop judging myself within what’s okay or not okay. Who am I letting the mind decide…

NR 2 = Intensity, no second guessing, here I come! No more great words, this is me, unfiltered. Going from here. I must find me, my source. Not somewhere out there, oh no, in the presence of me in every breath.

NR 3 = Flowering. The seed is grown now. I have to stop the stuttering of self doubt, I can walk, I can talk, I can breathe. My precense is my present, open it up and I WILL inDEED. I’ve yearned for people in my life that want something more out of life as I do, people who do not abuse substances, including alcohol… People who are clean like me, and looking at how to get the rest of this messy world cleaned up. It’s time to reach out…

NR 4 = New Vision. It’s up to me, I see it. Yes I’m here, I have not reach out. Watch out. Cause there is much work to be done in this world. And as the song goes; You’re a builder baby, here I am a stone. Don’t you pick and refuse me, cause the things people refuse are the things they should use. The stone that the builder refused, will always be the headcorner stone… Take no offence to what I say here, I’m just expressing my visions pertaining to the potential I see within.

NR 5 = Celebration. Let the past be the past. I don’t hold it against you, I don’t mourn nore hold grudges. Let’s create something above and beyond self imposed limitations, individually and together. And let’s do it with passion, let’s have fun, let’s enjoy our self while doing what we do. Let’s make a masterplan and execute!

Self forgiveness

NR 1:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exsist within a restricted logic of right and wrong, good and bad, instead of walking myself within self trust of each breath. To consistantly take responsability for me as all as one and equal within the principles of what is best for all.

When and as I see myself within and as the construct’s of, I can’t say that, I can’t do this, what if this what if that. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and remind myself to live in trust of me here in every breath of every moment. Moving myself one point at a time towards the goal and outcome I commit to.

NR 2:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to filter myself to use big words, without living them one and equal as me here in every moment of breath as an expression of me here.

When and as I see myself disempowered by what I precieve to be big words from which I judge myself less than. I commit myself to stop, breathe, find myself here and decide what I can do to manifest myself as one with these words in self awareness.

NR 3:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as self doubt within and as the mind, not seeing realizing and understanding that I can walk, talk, breathe, and partcipate within common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to depend on others for what I can think, say and do, instead of seeing where, what and how I can create my self and life to where I become a productive, persistent living example that contribute to the greater good.

When and as I see myself feeling the need for someone or something within my life, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and stick to the practical deal in where I’m able to do what I can with what I have in each moment.

I commit myself to not use others as an excuse as to why I cannot do something.
I commit myself to be the initiator for the change I’d like to see.

NR 4 =

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave my life in other peoples hands, without questioning who I am within that equation. Not seeing, realzing and understanding that I’m dealing with hoping and wishing things was different. I am the builder, I am the stone, I either pick myself up or I refuse to do so.

When and as I see myself projecting something out there into the future, based on the past. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I always have to bring everything back to myself. And deal with whatever is right here preoccupying me in the mind, in each and every single moment of breath and beyond.

When and as I see myself wishing and hoping things was different I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I am the cause and effect for things not being different. I commit myself to remind myself that it is my responsability to be the change I want to see.

NR 5 =

I commit myself to stop any self imposed limitations that I hold against myself by utlizing self forgiveness and practical application.

I commit myself to reach out and support people who want this world to be the best place it can be for all.

I commit myself to walk my talk and talk my walk to the best for my ability within each and every single moment of breath here, as that which is best for all.



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Mats Bjornsti
Posts: 98
Joined: 08 Jul 2011, 15:47
Location: Norway
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Re: Mats writing myself to freedom

Postby Mats Bjornsti » 02 Feb 2018, 15:24

https://iwillindeed.wordpress.com/2018/ ... support-4/

Osho Card Reading – Self Support 4

Using; The Diamond layout

1. The Issue : TRAVELING
2. Internal influence that you are unable to see : RIPENESS
3. External influence of which you are aware : FLOWERING
4. What is needed for a resolution : BEYOND ILLUSION
5. Resolution / The understanding : BREAKTHROUGH

Here I’ll describe how I reflected the osho cards back to myself.

NR 1. THE ISSUE – (Traveling)
”If only this, then that” is a phrase that pop up looking at this card. ”So when that, then what?”… I’m looking at my logic within excuses and justifications. The things that I use in the mind to hold me back. The issue of travelig represents no self movement.

Nr 2. INTERNAL INFLUENCE THAT YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEE – (Ripeness)
<<You are ready to share you inner riches, your juice.>>…

Nr 3. EXTERNAL INFLUENCE OF WHICH YOU ARE AWARE – (Flowering)
Interestingly, the same card, in the same place as yesterday. I see myself not living the words like communication, compassion, understanding, sharing, recieving, love thy neighboor as thy self in it’s fullest potential. Within that I can see how people may doubt me as an individual, as I’ve done, within reacting to how people react to me. And then brought myself in a state of constant bombardment of self judgment, projections, self pity, and isolation.

Nr 4. WHAT IS NEEDED FOR A RESOLUTION – (Beyond illusion)
This I comprehend as breaking through my illusions and delusions. And looking within myself and see how much of the external/without is and has influenced me to become who, what and how I am today. That is influencing me in ways I cannot see. So the words, self awareness and self movement within self honesty thus becomes the challenge to walk within and as.

Nr 5. Resolution / The understanding : BREAKTHROUGH
As the card describes it’s about turning breakdowns into breakthroughs, I see it as facing the danger, the chaos, the risks, the fears, and who I think I am with regards to how I’ve defined myself based on experiences of myself in the past. This require standing up without guaranties of what is to come. And this goes back to what I spoke of in number one, my logic/reasoning with regards to excuses and justifications. That there is a self movement that needs to happen.

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject my thoughts, words, and deeds into logic based on excuses and justifications, instead of seeing the common sense that change can only happen within breaking cycles of what have become habits and patterns that represent the nature of me in the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to share, often mean to break down the barriers that has become a comfort zone. And allowing for vulnerability within the act of caring, in the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within a lesser expression of what I’m capable of with regards to living words, instead I can see that where loving thy neighboor as thyself becomes the starting point for self expansion within self movement I’m assisting and supporting myself as others, and others as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not seen, realized and understood that when and as I react to others, within how they react to me, it’s indicating that I have not been self honest, and taken all as one as me into consideration as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I’ve exisited within highs and lows for most of my life, and thus chased my something and someone out there in order to get to somewhere that I think and believe will set my self free from what I experience inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the awareness I have in myself by continuously placing excuses and justifications within projections as ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. Instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that self movement can only occur when and as I move myself in self honestly with regards to what I am able to do in each moment of breath.

Self Commitments

When and as I see myself diminishing myself through excuses and justifications that are based on the problems I face individually within the existential. I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that this is repetative programming that is swaying the focus away from what I am able to do here and now in each and every moment. Thus I commit myself to stop that logic, and act within what I am able to bring forth for solutions as myself.

When and as I see myself holding on to my comfort zone, I commit myself to stop, breathe, and realize that I am existing within an reciving end posistion wherein I am leaching from that which is here, without giving back in equality and oneness as that which is best for all. Thus I commit myself to give as I would like to recieve as loving thy neighbor as thy self.

When and as I see myself not living words one and equal in thought, word and deed as that which is best for all. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that I am exisiting within points of self interest, where I have separated myself from the oneness and equality that the physical stand as through the act of thinking and reasoning. Thus I commit myself to change myself by living words one and equal within the principle of that which is best for all.

When and as I see myself reacting to others, within how they react to me, I commit myself myself to see, realize and understand that it’s indicating for me that I am not living my fullest potential self honestly, wherein I take all as one as me into consideration as what is best for all and act according to what I see, realize and understand require to get done to manifest solutions that can bring about a life where all life is regarded as equal.

When and as I see myself continuously placing excuses and justification within projections and ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that I am either my own best friend or my own worst enemy from the perspective of living as the problem or solution within either self interest or what is best for all. Within that I commit myself to stand by the principle of oneness and equality as that which is best for all.

When and as I see myself deny the awareness of myself by continuosly placing excuses and justifications within projoections and ideas as to why I can or cannot do something. I commit myself to stop, breathe, realize and remind myself that self movement as who I am have never been able to be expressed. Thus I commit myself to move myself in self honesty within awareness of where, what and how my starting point is coming from when and as I act in thought, word and deed, to take self responsability for who I am within and without and change myself according to the principle of what is best for all.




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