Recovery's journey to life

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tormod
Posts: 994
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Recovery's journey to life

Postby tormod » 14 Nov 2016, 20:48

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.co ... e-hjornet/
Dag 11 – det schizofrene hjørnet



I dag, noen få dager etter at vi har valgt Trump til president i USA, kan vi klø oss i hode av politikk. Et spørsmål jeg sitter med er hvorfor fikk ikke jeg stemme. Jeg bor i Norge, men Trump sin politikk påvirker også meg, her er du ikke enig ? Jeg er overbevist om at det er denne type innovasjon, og “ut av boksen” spørsmål vi må se etter og finne ut av for å løse verdens ugreie og konflikter.



I dag når fibonacci spiralen lar stadig flere og flere se og bli forstått med hvor uhyggelig skjevt penger er fordelt og hvor bunn løs bankenes blodtørst er. På samme måte som vi holder vanskelige tanker, emosjoner og traumer, det mørke ved sinnet, undertykte og avsides inni oss selv. Ingen skal få se mine mørke hemmeligheter…mine verste tanker holde jeg bare for meg selv. De er ikke for noen… jeg gjemmer de bort… liksom….

Som om det var millioner og milliarder av dollars…. (!!!)



(ser du tegningen?)





Vi har alle slike tanker og mørke kroker ved våres hemmelige sinn og i glemsel og trengsel i oss selv.



De sier de i dagens næringsliv, det sier de fremste økonomiske “eksperter” og journalister og viktigst av alt : det ser sikker du og i dag ? Den verden der ute er en refleks av mitt eget indre. Vi må se i øyene at vi er et veldig komplekst puslespill, og at liksom kapitalismen er i oppløsning så løsner stadig flere bildet av oss selv får å gå i dybden og forstå og bli kjent med, tilgi oss selv for det vi er: og har skapt. Pyramidene minner oss om hvordan makt og penger blir sentrert opp til en liten, liten ikke så hemmelig lengre; elite. Dette bilde har blir skapt i flere århundre. Tilrettelagt av alt fra konger, paver, advokater, leger og foretnings folk, og sist men ikke minst av du og jeg. Vanlige folk. Hva vi aksepterer og tillater i våre daglige liv. I våre sinn.



Den løgn jeg ser der ute i verden – den finner jeg hos meg selv om jeg er anstendig nok til å innrømme det… Den konflikt i Syria eller i Ukraina eller uro hos en rus familie på Torshov finner jeg hos meg selv i min mentalitet. Jeg finner i mitt sinn, identisk den samme psykologi /energi mekanikk, spiller seg ut som grusomheter. Fra mitt indre i tanker og paranoia til det ytre manifestert som grusomheter, lidelse og tap. Vi har slike mørke hemmeligheter alle som en. Jeg foreslår skrive terapi og selv tilgivelse.

Det er klarere og klarere for hver dag som går at folk er lei, søkke lei, av å dele seg selv inn i høyre og venstre, rød, blå, kristen, ateist, katolikk, muslim, vegetar, abort, røykelov, pelsdyr, piggdekk avgift, oljeboring, flyktninger… og så videre…. vi deles inn i mindre og mindre deler og så forventer vi at vi skal være ansvarlige og anstendige ? Hallo; vi er alle blitt hjerne vaska det er bare å innrømme det først som sist. Det sitter ofte langt inne.

Det er som å akseptere dagens standard, å si ja takk til å oppgradere systemet, for å ta imot mer informasjon, når systemet er korrupt fra bunn… komplet sinnsykt. Å oppgradere og forvente ny musikk, det er helt vannvittig. Det blir som å lage nye tanker, og lover og regler men bruke samme form, og samme forholde. Det går ikke lenger. Og vi ser at systemet brekker seg åpent som et stygt sår, her hjemme i Norge enten det er utroligste historier om snoking fra nav, varslere som blir utestengt fra jobb, mennesker som er programmert til å begår overgrep, avhengigheter og sykdommer. Lista er lang.



Det er hele systemet i et nøtte-skal: Vi lever i et system, av våres eget sinne bevissthet. Vi skaper vår egen virkelighet. Vi har levd her på jorden de fleste av oss maaaaaange ganger reinkarnert (…) hvor vi ser at i dag at :

lidelser av natur, dyr og barn, blir verdsatt i penger.



Det er det som er og har vert slutt summen til det kapitalistiske system. Men husk å se på egen innside. Vi må gå i oss selv. Alt der ute kan spores tilbake til oss selv i våres liv og i våres psyke.

Det kan sies slik: tanker styrer vår hverdag, unektelig. Tanker eier oss…. allikevel så er det praktisk talt ingen (!!!) som kan si og svare på i detalj, hvor tanker skapes fra, og hvordan de oppstår. Noen kan. Jeg er ikke redd for å si at en av dem som forstår mye om hvordan tanker har sitt opphav. Jeg har studert dette nøye, og funnet ut at det beste jeg kan gjøre er å la være å tenke. Så vet du det. Vi forventer å kjøre rally cross på planeten mars innen i morgen tidlig, men vi vet ikke hva som driver oss til det… Vi kjenner ikke vår egen innside.

Vi kan alt om krig og lidelse. Vi kan dette med å produsere håndvåpen, og reality TV. Men vet vi hvem vi selv er på innsiden ? Hva som er våres potensial ? Hvilke begrensinger lager vi ikke som oss selv ?



Jeg er her for å si klart og tydelig STOP

STOP mitt eget sinne bevissthets system. Og STOP energi og polaritet slavingen. STOP ego. For å stoppe det ytre kapitalismen så må vi først stoppe oss selv. Ellers blir det ikke gjort ordentlig og vi får en større oppvask senere.

Jeg og du er nødt til å gå prosess. For å stoppe sinne bevissthets systemet og metafysikk. Å begynne med det indre for å endre det ytre.





Takk for at du leste



Bruk linkene





– tormod





http://desteni.org/



http://desteniiprocess.com/



http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/



https://eqafe.com/



https://warnomore.wordpress.com/



https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/



https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/



User avatar
tormod
Posts: 994
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Recovery's journey to life

Postby tormod » 15 Nov 2016, 15:32

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.co ... zo-corner/


Day 12 – the schizo corner




Today, a week after Trump was elected for President of the USA, we scratch our head of politics. A question I am left with is why I did not get to vote. I live in Norway, but Trump’s policy also affects me here, where I am. Do not you agree? Why not let children vote ? I am convinced that it is this type of innovation and “out of the box” questions we need to look for and find out for solving the world’s puzzles and conflicts.

Today when the Fibonacci spiral allows people to become more and more aware of how sinister the money is distributed and how deep the bankers desire of greed & bloodlust is. Similarly, the same patterns of mind, thinking “bad” thoughts, backchats, emotions and traumas, the dark of the mind, suppressed and denied inside ourselves. No one will see my darkest secrets … my worst thoughts I just keep to myself. They are not for anyone … I will hide them away … not show anyone….

– as if it were millions and billions and billions of dollars …. (!!!)

(See the picture ?)



We have all these thoughts and dark corners at our secret minds of oblivion and distress within ourselves.

They say in today’s business world, the very financial “experts” and journalists and most importantly : you and me, that clearly, that the world out there is a reflection of the own inner self. We need to look in the eyes that we are a very complex puzzle, and that somehow capitalism is dissolving and loosens increasingly more with how we get to delve into and understand and become familiar with self, forgive ourselves for what we are: and created. To embrace self and live the message of what is best for all. Oneness and equality. The pyramids reminds us how power and money are centered up to a small, small not so secret longer; elite. This image has be created and shaped for centuries. Designed by kings, popes, lawyers, doctors, priests and business people, and last but not least by you and me. Normal people. What we accept and allow in our daily lives. In our minds.

The lie I see out there in the world – it I find in myself if I’m decent enough to admit it … The conflict in Syria or Ukraine or a distress and violent family relation in Oslo: I find in myself in my mentality. I find in my mind, identical the same psychology / energy engineering patterns, plays out like atrocities. From my inner thoughts, reacting and paranoia to the external manifestations of cruelty, suffering and loss. We have such dark secrets – everyone. I suggest writing therapy and self-forgiveness.

It is clearer and clearer every day that goes by that people are tired, dead tired, of being divided itself into right and left, red, blue, Christian, Atheist, Catholic, Muslim, vegetarian, abortion, anti-smoking law, oil drilling, refugees … and so on …. we divided into smaller and smaller pieces and from there it is expect of us to be responsible and decent? Hello; we’ve all been brainwashed that’s just admit it first as last. It often sits deep inside.



It’s like accepting the current standard, to say yes please to upgrade the system to receive more information when the system is corrupt from the bottom … complete insane. To upgrade and expect new music, it is quite crazily. It’s like making new thoughts, and laws and regulations but the same shape and the same deal. It goes no further. And we see that the system is failing, like a open nasty wound here in Norway for example, whether it is incredible stories about snooping of sensitive data, whistleblowers who are banned from work, people who are programmed to commit abuses against children, addictions and diseases. The list is long, and it will go on until we change. Equal and one. (se links)

We live in a system of our own manifestation. We create our own reality. We have lived here on earth, most of us maaaaaany times reincarnated (…) Where we see today that the : suffering of nature, animals and children, is being rewarded in money. That is the sum of the capitalist system.



But remember seeing this from the inside. We must go in ourselves. Everything out there can be traced back to ourselves in our lives and in our psyche. Everything is in reverse. You are the key.

Still the mind is very tricky and complex. For instance with thoughts. Thoughts govern our everyday lives, undeniably. Thoughts directs us in our lives. YET there is virtually nobody (!!!) who can say and answer in detail, how thoughts are created, and how they occur. Some can. I’m not afraid to say that one of those who understand a lot about how thoughts originate. I have studied this carefully, and found that the best thing I can do is to stop thinking. So now you know. We expect to be racing motocross on the planet in March tomorrow morning, but we do not know what drives us to it … We do not know our own inside.

We know everything about war and suffering. We can produce war, and reality TV. But do we know who we are on the inside? What is our potential? What limitations do we defend with ourselves ? What is self – sabotage or self – corruption ?



I am here to say clearly: STOP

STOP my own mind consciousness system. And STOP energy and polarity slaving. STOP the ego. To stop the external capitalism we must first stop ourselves. Otherwise it will not be done properly and we end up with more work later on.

Me and you have to go process. To stop the mind consciousness system and metaphysics. To begin with the interior to change the exterior. Learn to know thy self.

Thanks for reading



Use the links



http://desteni.org/



http://desteniiprocess.com/



http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/



https://eqafe.com/



https://warnomore.wordpress.com/



https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/



https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/



User avatar
tormod
Posts: 994
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Recovery's journey to life

Postby tormod » 20 Jan 2017, 18:00

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.co ... e-of-mine/

Day 13 – schizophrenia and dopamine (dope of mine)


schizophrenia and dopamine (dope of mine)



disclaimer:



I am not a doctor or a scientist, just figuring out myself while walking my desteniiprocess

I do take my anti psychotic medication, in dialogue with my doctor, to balance my level of dopamine





so… from knowing that schizophrenia is to have: two or three personalities acting out / fighting /having a war in the mind/head at once. there is then at least two personalities/polarities, in my mind at once. that marks the direction for the rest of the body who have to adapt to this.

dopamine is like it sounds : dope of mine. the body have lots of ways to produce its on dope/calming.

and dopamine is one of these drugs that the body produces.



(realize that schizophrenia is something one is born with, and though you might trigger it/wake it up with weed or cocaine(…) it will have to be there from before, from the creation of self, one does not develop schizophrenia by self)



with schizophrenia, the way I experience it, having forgiven/deleted my personalities, energies and programming) is that simply from the blueprint of my schizophrenia, there is created dopamine, in my brain, simply from thinking of my schizophrenia – blueprint/recipe, from there my dopamine is created from the experience of seeing the two personalities present/here at once.



there is from this present of seeing two or more personalities in my mind or just thinking of it create dopamine in my head. this is from the presence of the very positive polarities of my personalities. the brain senses the presence of these polarities and goes at producing dopamine. with me it happens almost simply from imagining or thinking about a collection of two personalities, and looking into my schizophrenia. and then dopamine is created. this I find can or could easily be manipulated out of my choice or doing/experimenting the more I see and realize about my schizophrenia and life.





now this dopamine, (this dope or mine), is not a joke. it can carry me quite far away. I can become more eager, enthusiastic, explicit, creative, spontaneous, and more “crazy” than the “normal” person, that has just one personality and then, that level of dopamine. so it would be more reasonable for me to dress naked and run in the streets; because I would think/imagine that is the “right” thing to do, at the moment.



when my level of dopamine gets so high (!) my acting out can become, within mind and acting (within /without) quite out of balance and no longer safe. it is like a obsession or gradually/balancing possessed state of being and then, what is common is that I start to think lots about myself and end up going into a depression and thinking “I am just one more freaks” and sort of “resign” (perhaps with alcohol or substance) and to “mould away” in the more extreme cultures that society offers since that is where my mind/programming would naturally take me.



so… dope of mine is a chemical that I see and live with from carrying schizophrenia. two personalities/polarities at once. I am born schizophrenic, and I have my energy “highs” simply from “looking” at my schizophrenia – blueprint. my recipe of mental illness. fascinating huh ?!





here i talk on this subject :
https://soundcloud.com/tormod-hvidsten- ... pe-of-mine



enjoy the day….



User avatar
tormod
Posts: 994
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Recovery's journey to life

Postby tormod » 31 May 2017, 16:38

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.co ... -a-flower/

Day 14 – Schizophrenia – Am I a troll or am I a flower ?




This here is a dive into my schizophrenia. Let’s look at some math. These two dimensions of “troll” and a “flower”, are clearly spinning out of my minds polarity these days. My mind’s are here exposed. Flower being the positive polarity and troll being the negative polarity. The different minds operate like branches and petals on the flower and the heads on the troll, often I have more than just one mind, governed ultimately by myself, as mind. So this flower is a consequence and spin off from positive polarity, to self worth and value. It holds great potential and room for expansion. A picture of a multi branched flower. Where the different minds are the branches with flowers and the main mind is the flower with a pot itself. And the troll on its part is a more direct spin of out of my schizophrenic design and being. My core of schizophrenia. So that leaves us with link to schizophrenia. So what is schizophrenia to me ? I can very easy define a flower and a troll, but how do I define schizophrenia ?

See this is the math of “what leads to what”, part that is vital to understand, where the plant/flower is more a direct product of the positive mind experience. While the troll is coming from my definition of schizophrenia. So there is a extra link to the troll/schizophrenia design, if you catch my drift. Do I need that extra link ? Is this extra link not obsolete ? I mean, again, how to I consider schizophrenia ? Schizophrenia has as many definitions to it that it has people diagnosed with it – to my awareness. The establishment and doctors have their way of spinning it. They seem to bother about the surface issues. They seem to pay attention to the symptoms of schizophrenia. They hardy dive into it seems. They are locked to “brain” and don’t consider the whole body picture. Big mistake, cause brain is just signals on and off. Question remains open. This is a very key point about psychiatry to understand, that is very important to give some awareness to, because of all the money/study that is spent on neuro – psychiatry and the “brain”, is just often a waste. We need to look holistically at it. Again, the brain is just on and of… signals, and very much like a minds chaos/circus with energies. We must find our self devoting time with the physical, the whole picture. The head is (atm) all mind and deceit.

Why should I bother calling myself schizophrenic when the diagnosis don’t suit me ? It seam I need to redefine the diagnosis. Or leave it behind, forget the diagnosis and focus elsewhere. Since what is schizophrenia has most to do with sickness, pain and suffering. And … that is not so much my deal – like it used to, this is because of me taking charge of myself and my living. Me directing myself more and more. Point is I guess that it is easier to be like a flower, it has fewer links to get there, it leaves me without needing to be a troll and a beast. I can be myself. If that is like John Nash and a beautiful mind, a flower, so be it. I keep coming back to this core of seeing a plant/flower as my mind existence, somewhat in a polarity to the troll/schizophrenia. A flower in a pot. It is a alive. It is a being. It breathes…the troll on the other hand is 100 % fiction (!) It is quite daunting and quite remarkable. It is like I can today, being born schizophrenic, direct myself to not be a troll, to close down that dimension more and more, and rather be a flower lol. It is quite amazing and it practically gives me shivers. I can tell you for sure my medication and remedy of working with self forgiveness on mind points and on myself and my past, for 5 years straight. It pays off !

So it is my responsibility and obligation to direct myself into this yes, flower/plant, and to remove by doing that working on spotting the more concentrated and lively inferior, troll points. They will still appear and are with me for some time, but I can work with it and delete it with self forgiveness as I go.



So the troll and Cerberus beast of schizophrenia, design placed on me before I was born (I have all detail to this if you want to listen and learn – contact me) – it is there to remind me that this world still needs to be adjusted and forgiven. There is lots of work to be done. Focus in psychiatry must be on the whole body, not lost in signals in brain !



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tormod
Posts: 994
Joined: 25 Jan 2012, 12:05

Re: Recovery's journey to life

Postby tormod » 29 Jul 2017, 21:08





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