Lex´s writing to freedom ...

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kim amourette
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Re: Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby kim amourette » 03 Jul 2012, 20:10

friends, the real enemies !!

I want to write today about the experience another nice guy had, which is mostly the same i had with socalled friends. This i want to write about, cause many destonians meant if man has bad experiences with friends, it is always the fault of man.
And this is truely not right !!
It is also not right that always others are guilt, this both are extremes that in reality don't exist.
This nice guy i want to write about is homeless and from last year to this he saved money from his ribs to be able to buy two generators, turntables, mixer and loudspeakers. Now socalled friends asked him if he could borrow them the generators, so they can make a party. He was so nice, i think he borrowed them for no money, and now is the third week he can phone them to get his generators back. Everytime there is another lousy excuse why he can't have his property back !!

And this is not the fault of the nice guy, its the fault of the socalled friends inspired by the fuck capitalistic system !!!


Hey Lex,

a point that may be interesting to investigate here, is the word 'fault', because this word exists within 'blame' and blame is a thought-construct with an energetic emotional experience that is of the mind and not in fact a self-honest expression. At Desteni, we say each is RESPONSIBLE for themselves, as their inner experiences of thoughts, feelings and emotions - and this 'responsibility' doesn't mean it is our own 'fault'.

In the story that you shared here, you seem to see this experience of the 'nice guy' from the perspective of believing that it 'happened to him', because the 'socalled friends' took advantage of him by not giving him back his generators that he had lend to them for free - thus, you use the word 'fault', so as to say that he is 'not to blame', but the 'socalled friends' are the ones 'to blame', it is 'their fault', because of what they 'did to him' in this story.

However, to take responsibility for oneself and ones life-experience, has got nothing to do with 'fault', or 'being the one to blame' for what 'happens to you'. See, we are in this physical world of manifested consequence, meaning that shit happens in peoples lives all of the time, and from that perspective, it is never 'our fault', however we are still responsible for how we experience ourselves within ourselves. Take the 'nice guy' for example - why did he lend the 'socalled friends' the generators in the first place? What was his starting point within that? What did he expect to happen and why did he not realize that human beings cannot be trusted, thus if he were to lend his generators to someone else there is a big chance that he may never see them again? What is his starting point in 'being a nice guy'? Why does he feel the need/desire to be 'nice'?

This is where our self-responsibility is, in being honest with ourselves about our starting point in our participation in this reality and to thus stop blaming others when we feel hurt within ourselves - but to rather realize that every emotional reaction to other people in our environment always comes from a point of ignorance/blindness to how reality really functions. The 'nice guy' will for instance only see and experience reality and other people as 'nice', 'good' and 'positive' and then end up feeling hurt and disappointed when it turns out that reality isn't 'nice', 'good' or 'positive'. So, instead of then blaming his inner experience of disappointment/sadness/anger onto the 'socalled friends' that didn't return his 'nice gesture', he should stop existing within the illusion of the mind as positive feelings/attitude and realize that reality is not positive - so that he can stand stable and constant in this world, and not be influenced by what 'happens' in his life or by what other people 'do to him', as he stands one and equal with reality in complete self-responsibility and not in a mind-reality where he only sees reality as how he wants to see reality, from his personal 'point of view'.

So, I'd suggest to also consider investigating and applying self forgiveness on the point of 'being a nice guy' and the point of blame towards others for taking advantage of that - as the 'nice guy' is in fact but a personality suit of the mind and not who you really are.

Cheers, Kim



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Lex23
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Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 04 Jul 2012, 08:22

Thanks for reply Kim Amourette !!

I can't speak for the nice guy, i only know he is ok, and the shit what happend in the last 10 years to me, is surely 1/10 what happend to him in his last 10 years !!

We both want change of the system ... and if what happend to him or me is a lesson of life, it seems to tell: "Be an asshole, suppress other beings, steal resourses from others, be master over others !!"
:evil:
But i don't think that is what life wants to learn us, because this makes it even worse !!



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Lex23
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Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 04 Jul 2012, 11:24

Dear Kim,

I am thinking i know what you want to tell. Because i can't talk for the 'nice' guy, i intepret it from my point of view.
I don't want to be nice, if possible, to people, because i intend something from people. Over the years i came to the conclusion, even before i found Desteni, that all that is is One. If this would be You, the Destonians, I, or the socks i wear at the moment on my feet, we all are One !!
We all have the same right to exist and are same important !!

:D

But some bad tongues could also interpret 'Equality as Equal and One' means the Destonians want to be heroes, or want to change something because people then find them nice...



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Lex23
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Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 05 Jul 2012, 12:25

Hi Destonians,

I thank for the many tips how to evolve my reprogramming and want to say it wasn't meant to blame someone from Desteni, it's true you are my mirror, but i'm also yours!!

Now that i sort out my friends, make regulary fitness and self-reflection (more offline in my notebook, but i am working to make it more online as you see), my life begins to unscramble.
:D

This is very exciting to me, because i had problems since nearly 7 years !!

Thanks a lot !!!



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Lex23
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Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 07 Jul 2012, 09:28


To write about "friends" i have to explain myself a little bit more:

I am used to be a person which feels comfort with other people around. So in former time, i usually had many people around me most of the time. Many people around often meant fun to me, but after a while problems where rising!
And so i had in the past years some bad experiences with socalled "friends".
Cool, you got the basics to use these points to apply Self Forgiveness for which means: self-forgiving the way you have defined yourself while being with other people, what they meant and the reactions that came up when problems arose. You can take one of those 'bad experiences,' write out the memory then the Self-Forgiveness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to adopt the aims of the 'fun society' instead of
setting my own.

I realize that friends usually are the real enemies in life, because they inspire me to go out to often, usually if i want to save money they come with good offers of drugs, hardware, vinyls ... or they want to borrow equipment or money that you then have to run after to get it only partly back.
:evil:



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kim amourette
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Re: Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby kim amourette » 07 Jul 2012, 18:43

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to adopt the aims of the 'fun society' instead of
setting my own.

I realize that friends usually are the real enemies in life, because they inspire me to go out to often, usually if i want to save money they come with good offers of drugs, hardware, vinyls ... or they want to borrow equipment or money that you then have to run after to get it only partly back.
:evil:
Hey Lex,

to be effective, these statements could really use some deepening out. If you are already writing it out for yourself and not specifically sharing it all here, that's cool, I'm just placing this as a point of support for what you shared here specifically.

for instance:
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends.
in what way do you 'define you over friends'?
how do you experience yourself within 'defining yourself over friends' within yourself, in terms of thoughts, feelings and emotions (,memories) in relation to your friends?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me.
what are you actually forgiving yourself for here and why? Do you have judgments about feeling comfortable with people around you?
What is the reason for defining comfortability within relation to others and would you be able to experience the same comfortability with you alone without having friends around?
What are the thoughts, feelings and emotions that specifically come up within yourself that create this experience of comfortability within yourself when you are with your friends?
(in this statement of self forgiveness, it seems as though you are forgiving yourself for feeling comfortable , yet not specifying what you are actually forgiving yourself for, thus not actually being clear with yourself within yourself about what this experience of comfortability is all about - and why you are forgiving yourself for it)
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat.
here you could ask yourself 'why?' to get to the bottom of where this desire within you to grab people nearly from the streets to live with you in your flat comes from - as it is only when we actually see the origins of our behavior/desires/experiences, that we can in fact stop them.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good.
what are you forgiving yourself for and why? Why do you use the word 'admit' instead of 'believe'? If you were to forgive yourself for accepting and allowing yourself to believe that people are naturally good, then you could actually investigate by asking yourselves questions like 'where does this belief come from?', 'how do I experience myself within this belief?', 'why do I believe that people are naturally good?', etc
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others.
here you could ask yourself how you are doing this 'accumulating problems from others', how do you feel within doing that and what thoughts/beliefs are those feelings based on?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to adopt the aims of the 'fun society' instead of
setting my own.
here you could specify more in what you mean by 'fun society' and what 'aims' specifically you are adopting and especially what your experiences are within this (thoughts, feelings and emotions)

I don't know if you are already taking the DIP course, but I would really suggest it, as DIP assists very much in structuring our self forgiveness, to get into the specifics and really investigate ourselves - where you will also be assigned a buddy that can assist you through the entire process.



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Lex23
Posts: 57
Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 08 Jul 2012, 08:06

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to adopt the aims of the 'fun society' instead of
setting my own.

I realize that friends usually are the real enemies in life, because they inspire me to go out to often, usually if i want to save money they come with good offers of drugs, hardware, vinyls ... or they want to borrow equipment or money that you then have to run after to get it only partly back.
:evil:
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends:

In former time i defined me over friends, that means i thought the more friends i had, with which i felt comfortable and had fun to be with and they with me, the more i was worth.
I now know it's a bad habit to expect encouragement from the outside. It is better to love oneself without reserve rather than through external flow. ;)

.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me:

If i was alone, i was not always knowing how i use my spare time with myself. So i instead searched for people to be with me. That meant 2-8 people within my flat, so problems where only a question of time!

.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat:

This is an extension of the point before. Because i didn't want to feel lonely, i grabbed people, which also went to party, nearly from the street. The point, that it had surely a history why these people got nearly homeless, i fully rejected at that time! So my problems i had with me added to the problems the people brought with them! :shock:



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Lex23
Posts: 57
Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 08 Jul 2012, 15:12

.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good:

In former time i thought that nearly every person is in their inner part good, but this is not true. Because of my false believe, i got often in trouble with people and much resources of mine got destroyed or sucked away! Therefore, because how often i got trouble with persons, i should never again let me into affinity with them!!
But this is also no way!!!


So i got the idea, because my former definition didn't work to well in real life, that i turn my definition upside down. Now i claim that people are normally evil, so i will be in future very careful how to interact with persons!! :idea:

.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others:

The point with problems from other people is, that if you live with people in a flat, now and then they partconsciously try to let their problems be yours, because they think why should they for themselves solve their problem, if somebody else is also there instead to solve it for them. :twisted:



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Garbrielle
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Re: Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Garbrielle » 09 Jul 2012, 00:48

Hi Lex, thanks for sharing yourself here!
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to adopt the aims of the 'fun society' instead of
setting my own.

I realize that friends usually are the real enemies in life, because they inspire me to go out to often, usually if i want to save money they come with good offers of drugs, hardware, vinyls ... or they want to borrow equipment or money that you then have to run after to get it only partly back.
:evil:
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define me over friends:

In former time i defined me over friends, that means i thought the more friends i had, with which i felt comfortable and had fun to be with and they with me, the more i was worth.
I now know it's a bad habit to expect encouragement from the outside. It is better to love oneself without reserve rather than through external flow. ;)
Cool Realization here Lex.....also when one love/respect oneself it's an inner love/respect that emanate from self and thus within self extends to the outflow of one's world in equality and oneness as through process we are using self forgiveness and self correction in living to become equal with the physical/the external world and thus one with all life. So it's not to have a polarity play out of the outer world being the issue/problem, and the inner world being where it's at so to speak, but using the outer world to see who self is within the interactions/situations/communication with others and thus bringing it back to self and using the tools to correct that which is seen to be dishonest. So we can indeed use all parts of our world to use for self change, but the change has to happen first with self and then will grow and expand to the outer individual worlds and then eventually to the greater world.
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel comfortable with people around me:

If i was alone, i was not always knowing how i use my spare time with myself. So i instead searched for people to be with me. That meant 2-8 people within my flat, so problems where only a question of time!
Cool, I found with friends and others, that I had to make a decision to either be with those that allowed abuse and separation and compromise my self standing or walk my process and allow life to come and go within the principles of what is best for all which is what is best for me and not accept the abuse with myself nor with another....this is an interesting process to walk, self honesty is key to walk the patterns, because essentially friends represents our personalities we have created, and thus it's to see who one is within it and then decide who you are going to be life standing as an example for others or just a personality trying to be validated by others.
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grab people nearly from the street to live with me in my flat:

This is an extension of the point before. Because i didn't want to feel lonely, i grabbed people, which also went to party, nearly from the street. The point, that it had surely a history why these people got nearly homeless, i fully rejected at that time! So my problems i had with me added to the problems the people brought with them! :shock:
Suggest walking more in depth on the point of fear of being alone? Why do one feel that one need people around them to have a good time? What memories come up when one look at the point of being alone with self? How do one see self?
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to admit that people are naturally good:

In former time i thought that nearly every person is in their inner part good, but this is not true. Because of my false believe, i got often in trouble with people and much resources of mine got destroyed or sucked away! Therefore, because how often i got trouble with persons, i should never again let me into affinity with them!!
But this is also no way!!!


So i got the idea, because my former definition didn't work to well in real life, that i turn my definition upside down. Now i claim that people are normally evil, so i will be in future very careful how to interact with persons!! :idea:
This also I would suggest investigate more in self writing to see what is that you are allowing within your world for instance to allow others to abuse you. I have found over many trail and errors that it is to see the being for who they are and assess over time who they are within, and see if they are willing to change, walk self honesty, blog/vlog, ect. and from their decide whether to support or let them walk their process on their own. This obviously if one is being phsyical or verbally abused to don't accept and allow to continue to be in your world, but even here one can investigate, why self is staying within a relationship or with others who are abusing self? How has self abused self in one's life?
.) I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accumulate problems from others:

The point with problems from other people is, that if you live with people in a flat, now and then they partconsciously try to let their problems be yours, because they think why should they for themselves solve their problem, if somebody else is also there instead to solve it for them. :twisted:
Here again I suggest to bring the issues back to self and see why one is reacting to others sharing/looking for support with issues they are having in their life, all outer points in ones world is able to be brought back to self and see who am I in relation to this, is their any reactions as emotions/feelings/back chat/thoughts coming up that is towards another or situation that I am not facing myself? So it's not to judge others or the outer reality of yourself because you essentially created it by accepting and allowing it to be the way it is and thus are responsible to correct it and walk the change. Thus suggest use your outer world to bring it back to self to work with your inner self and use the tools in writing to support yourself to walk the patterns out, forgive them, and do commitment statements to give yourself a platform to work with and support your self change in equality and oneness to eventually be able to stand as an example for others and thus equality will grow to all as one as equal, which is what we are here to do with all those that make the decision to walk this process for life.

To gain support in the structure of writing self out in self forgiveness and self corrective statements I suggest checking out the 7 Year Journey to LIfe thread here on the forum.



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Lex23
Posts: 57
Joined: 10 Aug 2011, 17:52

Lex´s writing to freedom ...

Postby Lex23 » 11 Jul 2012, 16:25

Thank's for replying to all !!

Now that i am applying to disconnect me from time-, resource- and energyeaters, my life gets better from day to day and in addition i make fitness. That means not that i cancel all people i know, but i am thinning them out, so that only people that know what they do and how they act remain.
:D
I know that what's inside is outside, but if i get sucked out from the outside, i have neither the resources nor the energy to work on myself, so i begin in the outside with canceling what detains my progress !! :!:




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