friends, the real enemies !!
I want to write today about the experience another nice guy had, which is mostly the same i had with socalled friends. This i want to write about, cause many destonians meant if man has bad experiences with friends, it is always the fault of man.
And this is truely not right !!
It is also not right that always others are guilt, this both are extremes that in reality don't exist.
This nice guy i want to write about is homeless and from last year to this he saved money from his ribs to be able to buy two generators, turntables, mixer and loudspeakers. Now socalled friends asked him if he could borrow them the generators, so they can make a party. He was so nice, i think he borrowed them for no money, and now is the third week he can phone them to get his generators back. Everytime there is another lousy excuse why he can't have his property back !!
And this is not the fault of the nice guy, its the fault of the socalled friends inspired by the fuck capitalistic system !!!
a point that may be interesting to investigate here, is the word 'fault', because this word exists within 'blame' and blame is a thought-construct with an energetic emotional experience that is of the mind and not in fact a self-honest expression. At Desteni, we say each is RESPONSIBLE for themselves, as their inner experiences of thoughts, feelings and emotions - and this 'responsibility' doesn't mean it is our own 'fault'.
In the story that you shared here, you seem to see this experience of the 'nice guy' from the perspective of believing that it 'happened to him', because the 'socalled friends' took advantage of him by not giving him back his generators that he had lend to them for free - thus, you use the word 'fault', so as to say that he is 'not to blame', but the 'socalled friends' are the ones 'to blame', it is 'their fault', because of what they 'did to him' in this story.
However, to take responsibility for oneself and ones life-experience, has got nothing to do with 'fault', or 'being the one to blame' for what 'happens to you'. See, we are in this physical world of manifested consequence, meaning that shit happens in peoples lives all of the time, and from that perspective, it is never 'our fault', however we are still responsible for how we experience ourselves within ourselves. Take the 'nice guy' for example - why did he lend the 'socalled friends' the generators in the first place? What was his starting point within that? What did he expect to happen and why did he not realize that human beings cannot be trusted, thus if he were to lend his generators to someone else there is a big chance that he may never see them again? What is his starting point in 'being a nice guy'? Why does he feel the need/desire to be 'nice'?
This is where our self-responsibility is, in being honest with ourselves about our starting point in our participation in this reality and to thus stop blaming others when we feel hurt within ourselves - but to rather realize that every emotional reaction to other people in our environment always comes from a point of ignorance/blindness to how reality really functions. The 'nice guy' will for instance only see and experience reality and other people as 'nice', 'good' and 'positive' and then end up feeling hurt and disappointed when it turns out that reality isn't 'nice', 'good' or 'positive'. So, instead of then blaming his inner experience of disappointment/sadness/anger onto the 'socalled friends' that didn't return his 'nice gesture', he should stop existing within the illusion of the mind as positive feelings/attitude and realize that reality is not positive - so that he can stand stable and constant in this world, and not be influenced by what 'happens' in his life or by what other people 'do to him', as he stands one and equal with reality in complete self-responsibility and not in a mind-reality where he only sees reality as how he wants to see reality, from his personal 'point of view'.
So, I'd suggest to also consider investigating and applying self forgiveness on the point of 'being a nice guy' and the point of blame towards others for taking advantage of that - as the 'nice guy' is in fact but a personality suit of the mind and not who you really are.