Self Commitment Journal

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Andrew
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Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 14 Aug 2016, 05:28

Day 1

In this thread, I thought I would keep a journal of a new commitment I am embarking on.
I am doing this in relation to recent discussions as well as interviews posted about the process of Self Creation, and specifically moving from "Thinking To Doing"

One particular point that I have been working on the past few years is my relationship with Art and also my career as an artist. One aspect of my art expression is my paintings. At this stage I make most of my money as an artist through sculptures which is where I spend most of my time and consider to be my "day job" where I work on this in a 9 to 5 type time schedule. However I have also continued to develop my paintings and drawings on the side, where this particular aspect of my art expression and business is a point I have been pushing to develop as an expansion of myself as an artistic expression as well as a point of having an additional stream of income through selling my paintings as opposed to just sticking with selling sculptures only.

So over the past 3 years, I have slowly but surely been developing this point in the evenings, weekends, or every once and while investing my normal working hours during the day into this expression.

However it has been quite up and down, and I haven't as of yet, really established a consistency with it, where it has become anything with some substance. Yet I THINK about doing it a lot!
So my commitment to myself is to work on this expression every day for the next 7 Days as a point of establishing and practicing bringing through the consistency in this application and stopping the acceptance of this point moving into a realm of "thinking only" where I don't end up actually physically moving the point with Action.

Today was day one of this process of moving this particular part of myself and my life from Thinking into Action.



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viktor
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby viktor » 14 Aug 2016, 07:25

Cool Andrew



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CerisePoolman
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby CerisePoolman » 14 Aug 2016, 14:56

Cool!



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Garbrielle » 15 Aug 2016, 06:05

Awesome Andrew



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Andrew
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 15 Aug 2016, 07:27

Day 2

Got home from work tonight and definitely had a resistance to getting down to some painting, even if it was just for a little session.
I did think a lot about creating art today while I was at work.
Eventually I finished up a new wildlife painting I had started a couple weeks ago.
So tomorrow will start something new. Not sure what yet.

Thats about it for today



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Andrew
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:32

Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 16 Aug 2016, 02:32

Day 3

I continued today with creating some more artwork. One Reason I have decided to walk this 7 day commitment is to explore the application of "goal setting" within this process of Self Creation/Self Change.

My relationship with Art has been one of the main points I have been walking the past many years, and could be for years to come.

I did have some resistance today to doing my art session. Its almost as though because I have placed specific attention on that point that automatically I just go into resistance towards it.

One of the main purposes with doing this is to move from thinking to doing. So will continue walking this application and see how things unfold.



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Andrew
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:32

Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 17 Aug 2016, 06:47

Day 4

Continued today working on some paintings after work. I found I was able to get into them a bit more. Still experiencing that initial resistance before I begin, though today once I started and painted for a few minutes the resistance was gone. Honestly not much to report about this. Its pretty straight forward, though, just using this log here as part of the process. I will continue and see how it goes. I am considering changing the commitment to 21 days instead of 7. But for now I will just stick to my initial commitment.



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Andrew
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:32

Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 18 Aug 2016, 07:12

Day 5

I continued with my application of painting tonight.
I noticed a couple points coming up in relation to it.

The first point is in relation to victimization and Self Empowerment.
I have noticed that the experience of myself as a victim actually runs quite deep within me and comes out a lot in relation to career/job which in this case is in relation to art/being an artist. I have began stints of painting before in the past that lasted various lengths of time, but were never as constant as I would have liked and I am seeing as necessary to make the point of painting something substantial outside my regular day job as a sculptor.

I have been wanting to transition myself so that painting and sculpture were more equal in terms of the time I spend doing them, and the income generated from them but haven't yet been able to achieve that.

I have found that I have made commitments to develop my paintings and then I would go ahead and do so but then would end up letting it slip away again. So far I can see that this mini 7 day commitment has been cool as a principled movement where I am seeing resistance coming up, that before I potentially would have allowed to influence my self movement in this point but that now, I am moving through it and so am creating moments where I am "getting to the other side of that resistance" and then can stand back and assess it and assess "what it really means"

This resistance experience is also closely related to an experience of hopelessness that is connected to the whole victim point that I mentioned in the beginning. I have identified for myself that part of Empowering Myself in relation to this Art Point, would be to walk a process where I would stop giving in to resistance and/or giving up and going into hopelessness which always seemed to persuade me to not really establish a more substantial painting practice. But rather to walk through those aspects and follow through with establishing a consistent application with my paintings

So there are a few points related to the process here I am walking at the moment.



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Andrew
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Andrew » 19 Aug 2016, 07:26

Day 6

I continued tonight with a shorter session of art-making.
I mean, getting in longer sessions does support in being able to make some ground, but had a busy night tonight, so just made sure I spend about 30 to 40 minutes working on a new painting.

I have been noticing the whole comparison point coming up a lot in relation to art-making and how this comparison point has very much influenced what I have created through the years, and how my style has developed. Now with the internet there is access to so many different artists out there, and so I have been noticing this point of comparison coming up from the perspective of "wanting to do it all"

I'd like to open this point up more for myself because its quite interesting, but for now, I can just identify those moments where I will have a "reaction" to someone else's art and feel compelled to something similar and so in such moments, slowing myself down, grounding myself and directing myself to 'find' my own expression. But yes, definitely a point to open more for myself to support myself in my own artistic expression.



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Gian
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Re: Self Commitment Journal

Postby Gian » 19 Aug 2016, 09:19

Awesome Andrew




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