Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

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Garbrielle
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Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 20 Aug 2016, 20:13

Hi all,

I am starting a self commitment journal to document my process commitment of waking up in the morning early and developing and structuring a specific plan of action before heading to work or activities of the day. My proposed plan is to walk up at 5am - here walk some writing in the morning, this process writing on my mind construct for dip lessons, transcriptions, personal writing, this for an hour and also walk some physical exercise - Pilates/yoga/running/walking - take a shower and get ready for the day. Leave the house at 8am. So I will write daily on this specific process commitment point i am taking on and within this practicing real time change in the moments of resistance. This morning routine and waking up this early I have resisted for many many many mornings allowing sleeping in to win. I will document and support myself in this commitment with this journal and expand as I go. Thanks all for being here and supporting me.

And thanks Andrew for starting the ball rolling with this journal practice - very cool self support and support for others.

Til next time.

Garbrielle



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 21 Aug 2016, 22:12

Day 1:

I set my alarm for 5am, it went off this morning, and i had a thought of 'man its so early, i can just close my eyes for a minute, soak one more rest in', and then next moment i look it is now 5:45am. So I got my phone and checked my emails, and wrote an email. I got up at this time. I had to ride home from a place i was staying at last night which was about a 45 minute drive. I wanted to buy coffee, but i didn't cause i wanted to test the ride home. I found i was very sleepy, feeling like i could not focus or almost falling asleep while driving, i didn't allow that of course, though that was the experience. I desired coffee at this time, i went to the coffee shop and it wasn't open til 8am, it is now 7:30am. I went to my place still feeling tired and decided to lie down for 30 minutes as i waited for the coffee shop to open. There i slept for 2 hours straight. So i am seeing two patterns playing out, one the tiredness and resistance to not get up early and sleep in for more rest, which i can see is an actual resistance to walk the writing i have set out for myself and thus moving myself in real time. The second point i am seeing is the need for coffee in the morning to feel awake. At this stage, i am only going to work with the sleeping in and not wanting to get to my responsibilities first thing. The coffee point, i will walk at a later point in this process as it's now being used as a bridge and eventually i would like it to stand as a enjoyment moment for me in my day, not something i have to have to feel awake.

Another point that i am going to test within this venture is the sleep cycle that we exist in, every 1.5 hours we reset in our sleep cycle from falling into a deep sleep back out again, a person will cycle 3 to 4 times on average a night. So i am going to make my sleeping pattern be where i wake up at the end of the cycle, which is when your body is most awake. This gives the effect of feeling more alive when you get up rather then the grogginess you can go into when you wake in the middle of a deep sleep. I am seeing this indeed does have an effect on the morning moments. Also, though I see the living word awake as a solution for this sleep/awake point where i direct when i wake up and when i sleep during the day, not make it on any other point but who i am within myself in every moment. So some points i will be testing and integrating as i walk forward in this journey.

Self forgiveness on the thought that "I am still sleeping, 5 more minutes":

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist moving myself in the monring when my eyes open and so accepting the thought that 'i am still sleeping, 5 more minutes' to direct me into moving back into sleep when i am suppose to be getting out of bed.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a form of apathy where i don't in that moment care about what i have committed to because of the experience that i am so sleepy and it's just too much to get out of bed at the moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience that i am so sleepy and so accept that as my state of being compromising my commitment i have made to wake up at 5 am and be up.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to rather live in self interest and be comfortable then move myself into a moment of integrity where i stand within my commitment and move myself into the change i am to live, being awake.

When and as i go into this thought that 'i am still sleeping, 5 more minutes', i stop and breath, and realize one minute or one hour, i am compromising myself into the mind and allow it to direct me rather then moving myself real time in a living word(s).

I commit myself to take a breath and move through the thought by living the word, 'get up' and when i am up live the word 'awake' pushing through the tired feeling and direct myself as my body, mind, beingness to be awake.

I commit myself to direct myself in my responsibilities and make real time movements on them every morning.



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Andrew
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Andrew » 22 Aug 2016, 06:26

Cool, Garb.

Yes, I noticed that sometimes reading what others go through with their processes in certain points can be supportive for others where either they can relate or learn some new technique or insight to support them in their own journey.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 22 Aug 2016, 13:20

Cool Andrew thanks for sharing, and I agree.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 22 Aug 2016, 13:37

Day 2:

I woke up this morning without any alarm set, I had fallen asleep last night without preparation meaning I didn't wash up or even shut the lights out, I just fell asleep when I lied down for a moment. So when I woke, the lights were on and it was 5:45am, at this moment I lived the self commitment statement of living the word 'awake' from yesterdays self forgiveness and got out of bed. The thoughts did come and the sleepiness was there, so for now I am seeing I will continue to live this word 'awake' in that moment. I woke up and went down stairs to wash up and made some coffee. I returned to my computer and started writing, I got through three different tasks in writing and still had plenty of time to continue with writing, so that is quite cool to realize, within this time period before work as my morning routine I can accomplish quite a lot.

Also, I realized that when I live my word as the commitment I directed for myself as the word 'awake' when I was wanting to go back to sleep, that when I live this word and follow through how empowering that moment is. Through that initial action I moved myself for the rest of the morning as I have built a step in my inner resolve of living my words and so creating myself in real time, removing the thinking and just doing. This supports with self trust and so an understanding of self in one's reality which is the way to create self stability. This also is supportive for life because as you live these words for yourself you can assist others in living as how you did and also support with short cycling of the process of another through points you learned from, corrected, and shared with them, which is also an awesome outflow of living words for self and building self trust. As you support self as an outflow is always the ability to support others.

I am satisfied with day two, though tomorrow I will be up at five as this was my original commitment, I realized that flexibility is always necessary i am finding and supportive as life is never an absolute and adapting is crucial to stay stable and apply living words in what is best in one's day to day life. If one stay stagnant in a specific way of doing something then you can create unnecessary self compromise and loop in that. So for instance, this morning I woke up at 5:45am, this is not my original commitment, yes i will walk that point, though i had not set my alarm last night due to falling right to sleep and so the consequence was I woke up forty five minutes later then i committed to. This a consequence, but should also be assessed with the original commitment as well as the correction as solution that will need to be lived in future moments. So i take these points into consideration, assess what is the correction for next time, and support myself to live that correction in the next moment. Staying flexible for miss-takes I have made along the way and always staying steadfastness in living the change in what is best until it is done.

Til tomorrow - enjoy and thanks for reading.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 23 Aug 2016, 14:11

Day 3:

Today was not as expected, I did not wake up at 5am this morning, and allowed the tiredness/sleepy feeling to subdue me, but more like take me over. Though there was some circumstances that factored in that created this experience in me of having to decide and direct myself within this seemingly absolute commitment. For me over the years walking this process, I have been very hard and strict with myself, if I do not fulfill a commitment in a absolute sense within myself then I judge myself as bad, less then, and unworthy. So for this so to speak failure this morning of not waking up at my committed time at 5am, again there were factors that I was considering that weighed in to my overall considerations and direction within this decision to allow sleep.

Last night, my partner and I spent some quality time together, we have been moving through some 'tough' points with each other and I pushed myself to be there for him and let go of that which I deemed I had to do so we could be there for each other and support. So here I am in a way supporting myself to direct myself into unknown territories within myself because I have always walked in a way of perfection, I say I will do this, I do it absolute, and then I am good/fulfilled, again not allowing for actual life events to happen and pushing to adapt and stand within what is best in each moment. This in a way is a fear of the unknown that I am moving through and pushing, and I am grateful so much for my partner being here and walking with.

So this morning, I decided to stay with him in bed and just be with him rather then doing work/getting up early. Within this decision, I still put in a provision to wake up and do writing, which I am doing now, but I am seeing still within myself I am not standing within these commitments or provisions I put in place. Here is where I allowed myself to sleep more then I had to, so takign advantage of the extra time I gave to myself and being in self interest rather then standing within my living words within the decision to stay with my partner for an extra hour in the morning.

So here I will do self forgiveness on the belief that I am bad/inferior if I don't live absolute to my commitments:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the belief that I have to absolutely live my commitments in the outcome I had previously set in place without allowing or accepting flexibility within the sense of life happening and unknown factors occurring where the commitment is needing to be directed in a different way and within myself I need to stand and adapt in myself and so my living in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not live up to my commitment in the exact and absolute way that I originally set out for myself then I am inferior and less then and so I deserve to punish myself and abuse myself in judgments and self victimization.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a desire to be perfect within my living where I am more static and rigid within how i live and within this more safe as I know what i need to do and what i need to live beforehand and within this it is known and understood and thus safe in the sense that i can see myself as perfect cause i fulfilled a held belief that I must fulfill.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed self dishonesty within these assessments of doing something and not based on a judgment of doing something as superior/good and not doing something as inferior/bad and so judging myself and others in this way based on static information rather then seeing, realizing, and understanding that life is dynamic, multi-dimensional, and adapting and what matters is who I am within what I do in each moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity of perfection/imperfection based on what i do and live and so polarize myself and others based on value judgments of superior doing and inferior doing from what is said and living to those words absolute without realizing, seeing, and understanding that life is not in such a way and is not based on judgments of good/bad but who one is within self honesty and what it is occurring within one's world and life and how one lives in a way of what is best.

When and as I see I go into a value judgment of perfect/imperfect of what I am doing, I stop and breath, and move myself into realizing that the reality of who I am is based on the factors in the moment in self honesty and how I live is to be based on that assessment in the moment here, I realize holding onto beliefs of I have to do something perfect cause I said so is compromising and limiting for myself and those within my reality.

I commit myself to move into a living word of adaptability in self honesty in what is here in each moment.

I commit myself to stand within self honesty and walk what is best in any given moment with all considerations of my words and who I am as well as what is happening to be looked at.

I commit myself to direct myself in living words that are best for all.

I commit myself to be gentle with me and others in my reality as self honesty and self directiveness is practiced and lived.

Self forgiveness on not standing in my words:

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to slip in my commitments within the morning routine where I was to get up at a specific time but allowed self interest and resistance to supersede me and direct me into falling.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into resistance and self interest and so become complacent within who I am in my living word and action.

I commit myself to push my application in living words of 'awake' and when I say this, I within that move my body out of the veil of resistance that I am accepting and allowing.

I commit myself to live the words awake and direct myself to move rather then allow the mind to take over in thinking.



Michelle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Michelle » 04 Sep 2016, 13:24

What a great activity you are doing for yourself for/as self-support. And I agree with Andrew on reading your words and support can inspire others to try out what you are doing, or create new techniques to change a pattern/habit.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 04 Sep 2016, 22:40

What a great activity you are doing for yourself for/as self-support. And I agree with Andrew on reading your words and support can inspire others to try out what you are doing, or create new techniques to change a pattern/habit.
Thanks Michelle, really appreciate the comment! This is a process that is challenging in a sense because I am holding myself accountable, though I do 'hope' it does inspire many to also walk this journey of changing a habit through a commitment journal and realize even with the ups and downs, if one stick to the decision and be patience as the process of change is walked, we can indeed change anything in and for what is best for all.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 04 Sep 2016, 22:53

So with the above comment said, I am back to walking this commitment journal. I did fall on this point for a bit, were some days i would wake up early, but some days i would continue to sleep and miss the opportunity to wake up and change.

One of the fundamental supports i am finding that i am not walking consistently is discipline, really it's a matter of discipline for me to walk what is my commitment in the morning to get up at 5am and move myself to be productive.

It's fascinating the amount of excuses, justifications, and bullshit that goes through my mind why i don't have to do it and why i can wait and do it another day, sometimes it's incredible how i can persuade myself and believe what my mind is saying as these thoughts of excuses, and bullshit really.

There are some points that are to be investigated to understand the dimensions and dynamics that go into walking this commitment through and through, such as physical practical points, being sick, partners, late night, ect. Though, still, even with this the commitment can be walked to the best of my ability and as of yet I am not there, though i am determined and have made the decision that i will walk this to the best of my ability.

So an update on me, stay tuned and thanks for reading.



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Garbrielle
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Re: Self Commitment Journal - Morning Routine

Postby Garbrielle » 06 Sep 2016, 17:10

Starting over with this commitment:

Day 1 - I had read the night before the desteni wiki on dreams, and within that section there was information on the sleep programming of the mind consciousness system. This I had read in the past but was not ready to face the point, so this time around it was very fitting. The idea of sleep in itself is a program we as life do not need to sleep, the body needs rest, though the mind was programmed in such a way to use the sleep and dreams as a way to ingrain itself deeper and specify itself more to enslave the beingness in the body as the human being who believes we need sleep to be healthy. The sleep cycle of the normal human is 8-9 hours, this is the time it takes the mind consciousness system to complete it's integration and specification in the sleep time. Though the physical body only needs 4-6 hours, and it's suggested to wake up in this duration as you disrupt and not allow the mind to complete it's cycle.

Also, self forgiveness was shared on sleep, which I am going to use in the morning when I awake as a tool to get me out of the sleepy/groggy programming addiction i have accepted and allowed for all this time.

So the morning of this day 1, I woke at 5:30 am, I was awake though the allure for sleeping was still there, I said to myself I will just sit for a moment and look at this dream I had, see what was within it. Though the next moment I wake and it's now 7:00am, so I had accepted and allowed myself to fall into the energy sleep addiction again.

I woke at this time and did writing.

Day 2 - My partner had come home from a trip late, so we talked for a few hours into the night. This I found I used the next day as to why I didn't have to get up and walk the writing and early morning routine. So I am still accepting and allowing excuses to direct me, not walking my directive commitments to move through the resistances and move myself into what I have committed to. I am seeing that there is this addiction to the belief that sleep is like a luxury, it is this absolute comfort that i can not get anywhere else, and I so enjoy this time. So I see I am still allowing this feeling experience of comfort take me over and allowing self interest over what is best for all, which is to stand within who i am as my living words and walk as a being who lives for life not accepting and allowing the mind to dictate who i am and just accept the resistance to sleep in and be directed by energy, feelings, and desires.

I am also practicing within this process commitment to be gentle and patient with myself, I have a pattern of being extremely hard on myself and going into self abuse when i fall or do not do my best, though this only creates more reactions/patterns i have to walk through I have realized, thus making the whole process take longer. So i am also living the word patience, care, gentleness, and steadfastness as I live this commitment until I am satisfied that I am here and able to move myself physically here to live in the morning routine I had committed to in moving through all resistances and living this commitment to be productive in the early morning hours before I start my day.

I will continue tonight with self forgiveness on the above points.

Thanks for reading.




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