A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

User avatar
DavidTDuncan
Posts: 61
Joined: 21 Oct 2011, 10:59
Location: Canberra, Australia

Re: A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

Post by DavidTDuncan »

Day 7: Must Watch Documentaries on Modern U.S.A. Politics & Foreign Policy

https://aselfactualizersjourneytolife.w ... gn-policy/


I’m not only going to use this blog for writing my personal process and experiences. It’ll also be about sharing information that has helped me to understand how the world really works. So here is a short list of essential, absolutely must-watch documentaries on the politics and foreign policy of the United States:


The Untold History of the United States:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1494191/?ref_=nv_sr_3



The Power Principle
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F1M0Viy_iA
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98rGkx5g-m0
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuR-jOWMdCA



Counter-Intelligence

http://metanoia-films.org/counter-intelligence/

Or watch them on YouTube:
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CFLpZcY3ss
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtsnKjCaZrI
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wartD6l8Ob8
Part 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MtA7j4vMrw
Part 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDUOHlVYTXo


Thanks
User avatar
DavidTDuncan
Posts: 61
Joined: 21 Oct 2011, 10:59
Location: Canberra, Australia

Re: A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

Post by DavidTDuncan »

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/521325 ... 1181825636


Day 8: University – Part 4 – Frustration and Isolation

I’m almost done with the lab report. I’m still not 100% sure I’ve done it right. Tonight especially I’ve gotten very frustrated with it. I will do some self-forgiveness then I need to go to bed.


Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry and frustrated doing the lab report.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel isolated and like I have no life because all I do is work on the lab report and other university work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped by university.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my actions and tasks that I need to take on for university – and the lifestyle associated with them – to control me and make me feel isolated and miserable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my emotions to run and overwhelm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate being isolated with university work as depressing and frustrating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to experience myself as frustrated, isolated and angry because I am busy doing university work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lonely with this lifestyle.


Self-Commitment Statements:

I commit myself to be here in the breath and let go of reactions that I may experience when doing university work.

I commit myself to not creating internal conflict and frustration when doing university work.

I commit myself to be patient and to be at peace when doing university work, knowing that I WILL get through it and I’ll probably pass quite well at the end of the day.
User avatar
DavidTDuncan
Posts: 61
Joined: 21 Oct 2011, 10:59
Location: Canberra, Australia

Re: A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

Post by DavidTDuncan »

https://aselfactualizersjourneytolife.w ... ew-decade/

Day 9: 30 Years Old & Listing Purposes for a New Decade

At this stage of my life I am clear on what I want and what my purpose is, in terms of who I am and who I want to be. I know that the purpose and meaning of life is to discover, live and express who/what I am as the substance and beingness of life in and as the physical. I used to parrot these words, thinking that this is just what I ought to say, not really understanding what it meant. But I’m starting to physically, tangibly understand: life is about discovering, living and expressing the true, real essence of life as the real beingness, that exists in and as everything, that has been here forever and that will continue forever. It is impersonal, meaning it has nothing to do with my self-identity and self-construct. It is the same life substance as what is in everything and everyone else. So being that life substance you can also be in the people and surrounds about you. It’s all within the depth of the breath, and in that breath it’s within everything. This is what is underneath all of the illusions and ideas we have created about ourselves, that we say is us and goes by the name “David” or “John” or “Betty”. That is the constructed mind self – it’s not the real substance and beingness. Seeing this destroys so many strict, concrete ideas we hold about personal identity and the self, and I realise that I never had the opportunity growing up to see that perhaps when it comes to self that there is an infinity beyond what we have come to define as ‘self’. So I constructed a separate self and identity because that is what everybody else did – it seems to be so normal, right? What is fascinating also is that with this realisation there is also obviously so much more to life than what we typically think of as what ‘life’ is, and what ‘living life’ means, as ideas which come from the starting point of a separate mind/ego identity. I don’t think we really have any idea about what life or living is from that starting point. That is actually the prison that we have created and become – it’s what we’ve allowed ourselves to become but there is the potential to be so much more. Also none of it is REAL. That always bothered me, that I could be leading a life that is not at all real. In realising that and reminding myself constantly, every day, it helps me to realise that I’m not really giving up anything of value at all. I am giving up nothing for EVERYTHING. It is not a real life. The essence or substance of life buried underneath the layers of illusions and mind that we have become IS REAL. So INTEGRITY, in this respect, is my ultimate purpose in life. This is central. This is who and what I must become purely, in everything I do, say, and decide in life. I want to be the strongest, most free, most caring/compassionate, most stable, most grounded, and most certain being I can possibly be, knowing and living 100% who/what I am as life. That’s it, that’s the main thing. That’s my purpose – that’s who I am and what matters to me at the deepest level. I do have a lot of work to do but what else is there to do? Every other purpose I have is crucial and important, but are in a supportive nature to this central purpose.

The second purpose is continuing studying psychology, eventually finishing, getting into a good career in a field I find interesting, and making a good living. I don’t know what field I’d like to work in yet. I also have to get a move on with my studies. I want to make great money to be able to move to a farm and support myself, animals, and other people very well, without any financial hassles and distractions.

The third purpose is to look after my body very well with health and nutrition – not to the point where I’m obsessed and consumed by it, but just giving the body what it needs.

The fourth purpose is self-development, such as developing my interpersonal skills to high levels, learning new skills and practising them daily until they become second nature, and facing fears and uncomfortable, new and awkward situations in the real world instead of hiding within a comfort zone.

The fifth purpose, which will make all of these points a reality, is to do these things and live these purposes regardless of how I feel. So instead of being ruled by my feelings, I make the decision to stand by my principles and do what I said I would do.

Relationships are give or take – I want to be myself and stable whether there are people in my life or not. It shouldn’t make a difference. I’m not going to get married. I’m not sure about kids – it’s not in any of my plans but who knows, it could come up at a later point.

Thanks
User avatar
DavidTDuncan
Posts: 61
Joined: 21 Oct 2011, 10:59
Location: Canberra, Australia

Re: A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

Post by DavidTDuncan »

https://aselfactualizersjourneytolife.w ... s-meaning/

Day 10: A Dream I Had & Its Meaning

On Tuesday night I had a dream that I was in this huge Muslim ceremony in a Middle Eastern country. There were thousands of people all dressed in fluro robes such as bright blue, pink and green. I was with my Mum and at least one other person and we were seated for the ceremony, then an announcer on a loud speaker said something like: “Those who are not Muslim, stand.” I knew there was a punishment to stand up and admit you are not a Muslim. I was torn on whether I should stand up or remain seated, as to not arouse suspicion. But I decided to stand up because I don’t want to be a part of a religion like that (or part of ANY religion) in any way.
I knew it was dangerous, and immediately I was frightened for my life and aware of the tide of hate and the angry murmur of disapproval and dark glances from the masses of people. When I stood up I walked away from Mum and the other person and walked off by myself. I was alone and I had to rush around trying the grab something to read – some kind of material, whether holy or unholy. The holy texts were glowing to show me which ones are condoned, but I couldn’t find any that were not already in use by other people. Only non-glowing ones were available, like a newspaper which had a British flag on the cover. Having one of these would display to all that you are an unbeliever and not part of the crowd. I was desperately trying to find a holy text so I would not be seen and stand out – so I could blend into the crowd and not be threatened. I was very uncomfortable with all of the people hating me, and I feared for my life. I instinctively knew that it was death to infidels in this part of the world – or in this part of the world in the dream.
The dream seemed to skip ahead a few hours from then. A holy princess appeared, riding a horse through paths formed in the crowd. She was with guards and they were after me! From some distance she aimed an old gun at me and started firing, the bullets whizzing by me very closely. I slipped under a sheltered area under a huge tent where a large part of the crowd were sheltered, and she also went under there via one of the paths, looking for me. I crept up very close to her – I was looking up at her on her horse, surrounded by her guards, and I was amongst the crowd, separated from her by a wooden fence. She said a few things about me getting punished for being an unbeliever or infidel. I was about to give up and give into helplessness, then I realised then that I had a pellet gun. I made a bold and reckless move and I shot the princess in the head. Blood splattered on her light blue silk robe. The guards then grabbed me and dragged me away to what would have been for torture and eventual execution. I knew I wouldn’t be able to escape. At this point I was aware that I was in a dream, and while I was being dragged away by the guards through the crowd I woke myself up.

I am clear in my understanding of what this dream means. I am aware that I hold myself back, I change and I compromise myself when with other people, or when I am doing something that I know other people might see or hear. The dream represents my fear of simply being me, open and pure in my expression of who I am. I haven’t allowed myself the opportunity and the gift to myself – and perhaps to others – of simply being myself when with other people. I haven’t been patient enough to really get in touch with the authentic expression of myself to begin with, which is the first issue. But this dream represents this fear of standing up and being totally me in my expression – open, vulnerable, gentle, and wide-eyed in the wonder of life – in the fear of being condemned and shot down by people around me, caught up within the religion and rules of the mind. An instant fear comes up that says “I am going to be judged and attacked”, and that fear has stopped me in my tracks. I don’t believe that is an OK way to go about life. Also I think what this world needs more than anything is people standing up absolutely in their full expression of life – not getting in people’s faces and preaching anything, not trying to prove anything to anyone, not imposing anything upon anyone, but simply living it in their words, movements, actions, interactions – just in the way they live life. People en masse need to see this and start getting curious. But if people like me allow fear, this will never happen. They may never get a chance to see what is possible to be lived. With the knowledge I have it is my responsibility to stand up and live my fullest potential – not just for me but for the people around me.

I remind myself every day that I have this one life – I don’t know exactly what will happen when I die, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be back here on Earth. Everybody dies and I won’t be any different to everyone else throughout time who has passed on. I always feel that time is very limited and that scares me a bit. So I’d better live what I know is the most important thing. Bringing that point of life to absolute expression and totality within me and as me is the main purpose of my life – it is the most compelling purpose I have given to myself. Real self-actualisation – beyond Maslow’s ideas and beyond actualisation in regards to career or personality and identity. I think people need to see that life and human potential goes beyond even these points of what is normally seen as reaching one’s full potential.

So I have been compromising myself with this irrational fear. I will do the self-forgiveness on it in the next post and confront the fear in real life.
User avatar
DavidTDuncan
Posts: 61
Joined: 21 Oct 2011, 10:59
Location: Canberra, Australia

Re: A Self-Actualizer's Journey to Life

Post by DavidTDuncan »

https://aselfactualizersjourneytolife.w ... -a-career/

Day 11: Sorting Out What I Want for a Career

First of all, I have no idea what I’m doing with this blog. It’s all over the place. I don’t know what direction it should take – all I know is that I should write something, and share whatever comes and whatever I feel needs to be shared. It needs to be exactly as it would be if I were writing in a journal – not edited or altered in any way just because others may read it. So the content will always be personal and written for me – but I realise that others may benefit in some way from what I write. So it’s probably best shared with others.
Sometimes it will be me writing out and planning what I need to do, sometimes it will be realisations that I have had, sometimes it will be self-forgiveness, and sometimes it will be self-commitments and stating my purposes. Writing for me today is mostly writing out and clarifying what I need to do in many different aspects of life, then simply DOING IT. It is to write out a path and purposes for myself, and to lay them out before me – what I want/need to do and the steps that need to be taken. Then comes the LIVING ACTION. The ACTION is where it becomes a reality; I’ve found that it’s most important to spend time on the action and practical living – to actually live my words, walk the talk and do what I said I would do. The talk means absolutely nothing if it isn’t actually lived. So if I am not writing in here all of the time that means I’m busy out there living the purposes and goals I’ve given to myself.

So now I am going to start investigating and laying out what I want to do as a career.

My biggest passion in life is discovering and living what is my full potential in many different ways – as being totally fulfilled within myself as life as a human being living in this world, in working towards doing what I love for a living, in looking after my body, in challenging and confronting fears, limited belief systems and the comfort zone, in interacting with all other people with confidence and fearlessness, in learning about how to best interact and communicate with a partner, and in learning about different and much more expansive ways of looking at and living life. With all of this said, I am finally starting to work out what I want to do for a career. I want to have who I am and what I am most passionate about explicitly linked to what I do to earn a living. All in all, I want to spend my time doing something that is aligned with WHO I AM, and be able to make a good living from it – instead of doing mechanical, repetitive jobs. It’s like Timothy Leary’s definition of success: Get people to pay you for just being yourself.

I neglected career and money in my 20’s, thinking that I have far bigger things to consider in this life. I was not thinking of a career at all. That was not smart. I did not consider that reaching one’s full potential is multifaceted and incorporates MANY different aspects of life – not only one single point. Each point is linked to and supports one another. Career is an integral point of life for where we are in this world system at this moment in time. There is no escaping the need of having a prominent career in this world, at least for me – otherwise I can’t have a decent life, I can’t set myself up for the future, I can’t afford to have a family (if I decide later on that’s what I want to have), and if I don’t have a prominent position and great education there is no way I can have an influence on world change in any way. No one gives a shit if you’re not highly educated and in a strong, influential position in the hierarchy of this system.
So regardless of what people say – that it is not realistic to do what you are passionate about for a career – I am going to go for what I want to do anyway. I only have this one life, and there is only so much I can take of doing jobs that I can’t stand doing. So as usual I put my head down and focus on what I need to do to get to where I want to be, ignoring and shutting out everyone who tries to tell me that it is not possible and that it’s best to settle for less than what you are happy with.

In my Psychology degree I am going to continue to score as high as I can in the core units to be able get into honours. I may start a career after earning my undergraduate degree before going into honours – I will work that out in time to come. Eventually, if I am confident enough in my studying abilities I WILL go on and do the Masters and become an accredited psychologist. I am a lot more confident with my studies now than I was about a year ago. I am confident that I can continue to get high distinctions and distinctions, given that I don’t take on too big of a workload.

I am going to choose Counselling as my major. As a career, ultimately I want to do something within psychology, counselling and/or life coaching. Being a fully accredited psychologist would give me MANY options, and it is the best way to go. It’s just going to take time.
I want to help and support people to be the best they can be as a human being – the same as what I want for myself. That ultimate support is helping people to realise who they are as life – an awareness and expression of who we are as our essence – that is also what I want for myself. When it all boils down to it, this is what is most important to me in life – to be authentically who I am, not false illusions of myself. I’d like to support people who are genuinely interested in this too.
I will also consider work in counselling because I think I have a strength in this area. I’d also like to help people to set commitments and purposes for themselves – things they would like to live and make real in their lives – and do something each day to eventually make it a reality. I’d like to help people sort out their relationships. I’d like to help people figure out what they are most passionate about in life. So there are a lot of different options.

So the steps from here in regards to career are to keep studying, scoring as high as possible in the core units in order to get into honours. I will take on as many units as I am comfortable with. I will set Counselling as my major. I will talk to the course convenor and also research career options and possible routes I can take for when I graduate. I will get a real solid idea of what I can do and where I can go, and simply move in a direction I will settle on, facing the fears, hesitations and limiting beliefs that undoubtedly will arise. So I set each step as a purpose for myself and go for it fully, until that step is done and it’s onto the next step. Then step by step I get it all done. If I can do it in one aspect of life there is no reason why I can’t do it in all other aspects of my life.

That’s enough for today. I’ll write in here again when I need to.

Thanks
Post Reply

Return to “Writing Yourself to Freedom”