DAY 47: It's Possible for an Educational Platform that Is Best For All
Reflecting on my life, I notice that I've never been out of a course. I left a bad situation when I was 18 years old. I was in a homeless organisation for 1 year and they introduced me to courses. I didn't know that universities existed or that courses really existed. I knew that schools existed but not higher education or training institutions. I knew about Desteni, which helped me out of the bad situation I was in. it saved my life.
The first course they introduced me to was a hospitality course. I did not have the normal social programming that you would expect a teenager to have. I could not relate to people my age. But I could relate to the older people and enjoyed speaking to them more. I did look down upon the people that were my age. Mainly because they did drugs and focused too much on relationships rather than helping themselves in life. Well, that's how I saw it. So, coming out of a bad situation with not much education, not knowing how the system worked, not having an extensive vocabulary and/or not knowing how to write that well, I was definitely a fake it till I make it type of person.
I spoke more in my body language, my movements, etc. I knew that spoke louder. It spoke louder, and I became the teacher's favourite. After I completed the hospitality course, I moved straight onto another course which was engineering. It was a free course and I decided to do. I completed that, and one of my job providers suggest university. I didn't know what that was. But I was extremely interested. Once I found out what it was, I went for a try out course. Unfortunately though, there was a fear of survival and I ended up going back to where my family lived. But, I did want to go to university. So, at 19 I enrolled into the preparation courses to university.
I got really good grades for someone who didn't have much of an education.
I think for my first essay I got 94/100. Everyone else got less and I regret having told them .. Because I gloated, and was unable to reach back to that level I was on for the next assignments. Don't know what happened there.
Then of course, that downfall hit, and that put a spinner in the works when it came to studies. I was that distraught, confused, etc.. That I could not finish my assignments as another problem was bothering me. I didn't give up on it though. I needed to time work on this situation that I wanted for myself, and so that it was necessary to focus on that. Well, I couldn't focus on anything else I was that confused and distraught about what was going on. So, for me even if I tried to focus I was just so upset that I couldn't even focus on anything else. Anyways, that lead to more downfalls, and I kept on trying to have an education while trying to solve the other problem in my life that was making me so unhappy. But it was very hard to focus on both. Mainly because of my circumstances at the time. I didn't know how the medical systems worked or the psychological services worked, I had not assistance/support, and accessing all of this on my own was a complicated process in the state/condition I was in. Everything seemed to have to be put on hold until I solved this problem. In that time, I was still accessing courses to try and repeat to go into university. But, more events were happening, and it made it more difficult to focus on studies. So, for a long time, I've never been out of a course. It's been a constant for me.
I wanted to know why this is. What I've identified about myself is that I find comfort in the course structure. It is a security blanket for me, makes me feel like I getting somewhere and I like the reactions that people have when I tell them 'I'm studying this or I'm studying that', the social sides to participating in a course, how people view a student and because there are potential benefits to completing a course. However, I do believe that people should not solely depend on a system education to achieve what they want for themselves in life.
A system education can be a narrow path of the same way of thinking. It can be costly where you're like to be increasing in debt as you go along, you're not guaranteed a job afterwards, and if you do get a job, I ask if the wage is even worth it? Maybe that is an 'Elite perspective', but I do believe that the human being's work and the movement is worth way more than 8hr, or 25hr. That's my viewpoint there. In saying that, movement should not cost a thing. What I do not like about the educational systems is that the assignments can often be limiting creative. Everyone has the ability to be creative in how they define that word and live out that word. I do believe that human effort is wasted on the same way of thinking, and doesn't give time for creativity. It is ashame/sham because people have a natural ability that is often lost through system education. I walk around the universities watching people sit for hours at a mathematical equation for an assessment and I wonder what they would do if they could be creativity in their assignments. You know… lol. Anyways, a system education should always be a plan B. That's my viewpoint. Plan A should be about creating what you want for the world, and only have a system education to fall back on. Some people may not have that opportunity… I get that… So I am probably speaking to the other elite of the world or speaking for the sake of getting whatever is inside of me out.
My Diploma of Counselling is plan B. A fall back in case plan A does not go well. I've had to refocus Plan A. I need money to put plan A together. To get the money, I have to take a part of creation and make use of it. My creation takes hold of people's interests. In the world, you need to meet the interests of people if you want to make some money. The part I've chosen to start with for my creation is an interest that I know I'll make money from. It is an interest that I let consume me in the past. It was not an interest that I wanted to invest time into. But it being part of my creation, and because I need the money, it is an interest that I'll start with as I know the demand is great/high. I'll step into the interests of people, and I'll use that to assist/support me and so give them what they want. But with a best for all flavour too it. Of course, I have to put some money into to make this happen. We've all got to take shots/chances in our lives to go for what we want.. Even if it does not work out. We need to at attempt/try, and if we succeed, run all the way with it. It is not like we have much to lose sometimes. Well, if you're in a position I am, what would you have to lose? But everything to gain.. Just wanted to speak out what I had on my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to solely depend on a system education/structure to bring in the money that I'd like to earn/make in this life-time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping back into an interest that consumed me in the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used the interest that I had in a way that did not support or benefit me/my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into courses to feel secure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in course structures to hide and distract myself from the problems in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the educational system as my main source of 'getting me somewhere'.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that a system education what gets me somewhere because I am the work, the effort, and the person who turns that education into what it will become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into courses to impress people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let that student identity define be all that I show to people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect people to hold me in high regard in the system because I am a person who studies a course.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that the university education isn't in the best interests for all because it puts people through stress, forces the body to sit for long hours, has deadlines, tells people how to write, doesn't allow for common sense at times and repeats the same way of thinking to continue a system that isn't best for all.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that it is possible to have a system education that assist/supports all life equally.
I commit myself to explore more on education and the university environment to work on ways where I can create an education platform that does assist/support all life equally.
I commit myself to work on plan B
I commit myself to work on Plan A.