Danielle's Writings

User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 27 Apr 2017, 16:48

DAY 102: Top Ranking, Representing And Superiority


I woke up at the set time of 5 a.m. today. I looked out my window to check the weather. It rained for the last 2 days and I was not sure if it was to rain again today. Outside it looked cold, wet, and foggy. I decided that I was to stay home because I could not walk to TAFE in this weather. I awoke at around 6:30 and took another look out my window.

The sun had come up so I quickly got up. I didn't have much time to prepare. But I did manage to walk to the school in time. It takes about an hour & a half. I make it before class time of 9 a.m. every time. This becomes a regular goal for me on days like these.

I am always grateful that I get myself up in the morning for class. I like that whole process of representing myself each day. By this I mean what I selecting what I will wear for the day, how my hair is going to be for the day, who/how I am in moment of interaction with people, who/how I am when I approach people, who/how I am in the words that I choose to say, my body language, and my breathing. That whole representation of me. Because people are watching, I am watching, and I have to live this life -- so I've got to represent me in all the best for all ways. In that, choosing which words I am going to live/be. Like, gentle, genuine, honest, helpful, etc. It is very fun. If people can learn this, then they can go a long way.

So, I am extra grateful that I went because we found out news about which facility we are going to go for placement. Originally, I was to go with two other lovely people to a new facility that is in the main city centre. When I was told this, I was not satisfied in myself. My teacher's had stated that they chose based on our personalities, and what they know of us. The facility deep down isn't the one I wanted.

I wanted to find out what my teacher had saw in me for her to make the choice she made. I approached her about it. She said that it was new facility (wanting to make a good impression for TAFE), and that I am very inquisitive. After hearing this, I did end up accepting it, and I was very happy with the people I was paired with from my class. This was all a few weeks back.

Today there was changes made. The people I was paired with and I have been chosen to go to a well-known facility. This facility I was very happy with. It was one of the facility I was going to volunteer at months ago but didn't have the time. So, hearing my name get called for this one, and all the people I'll be paired with, I was very comfortable with the choice.

What I did find myself doing in the process of hearing all the names get called for the different facilities was compare based on the group hierarchy in the class. In my city, there is rank status with the aged care facilities, community care and disability organisations, etc. So, I could see how they did choose based on personality there. Apparently, the top ranking ones will 'eat people alive', meaning, it's tough in that facility and/or staff expect a lot. So, now that I look at it, the top-ranked one's were given to the strong type of individual's, and the ones who struggle a lot in class, in their work, etc, went to the lower ranking ones because the lower rankings one's may be more lenient. This is how I was seeing it.

I was seeing the choice of what the teacher's had chosen for others as that which resembled the group hierarchy, and what I know of people. It's a good eye. But, to this, I did see myself look at people as less than based on where they're going.

The facility I am going to is, I consider, one of the top ones. So, throughout the day I started feeling sorry for people, and also seeing myself as privileged above those who are going to the lower facilities. I do think I am placing ranks on people based on their facility, and in a way rating their work, etc. All of this misses the whole point and purpose.

What people have signed up to this course for is to learn, and secure employment. It doesn't matter which one a person goes to so long as they represent themselves. If I were to go to a facility that didn't have such a good rep, and I had to work there, then what would matter is how I represent myself, who I am, and the work I do, what I learn, and I can work my way up, and learn so much by doing that. So, it does not matter to what facility a person goes to, or the rank of facilities out there in the community because it all comes down to who self is, and how we represent ourselves in what we do. The effort we put into ourselves, our work, our job lives, our family lives, etc.. It all comes back to self. The facility is all but a tool to upskill & strengthen words. Word such as caring, compassion, strength, etc... lol. Loads of words that can be strengthened in an aged care facility, and it doesn't matter to which one it is --- as the external world can be a tool that I can use to learn, grow, express and develop me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for people because of the facilities they were chosen for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at people within a ranking system of the same facility they're going to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are less than/better than based on the group hierarchy in class.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that each individual in class has their own unique individual minds that are filled with a different way of wiring that can be beliefs, thought process, values, and culture.

i forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that everyone on in the class has the potential to represent themselves as best they can in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that people are not a class hierarchy but individuals that are living certain words that determine who they're going to be in certain moments of interaction, presentation, and so will determine how people see them/memories that people will have of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity those who are struggling in with their assignments in class

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have spoken to someone about ranking status in a way that made me look/appear 'above others'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as below/above others because of the facility that I was chosen to go to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a facility is going to determine who/how a person is and the direction they go when it comes to employment.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the external is a tool for an individual to learn, grow, express, and develop.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that it is not the environment that determines the person's efforts.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that no matter which facility an individual works at... it is all down to how they represent, conduct themselves, and perform their duties and responsibilities.



User avatar
Maite
Posts: 571
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 19:08

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Maite » 27 Apr 2017, 20:00

Hey Matie, I'll give this a go. Thanks.

There is a question that I want to ask.

1. How does one go about selecting people for potential partnership? If one is excluding attraction?

Wouldn't one need to take consideration of the following:

1. preferences
2. likes/dislikes
3. Commonalities
4. Compatibility
5. Sexual attraction
6. Both consent and nothing is forced

??

Just curious with this one.
Hey Danielle,

We did a Relationship Hangout on this very topic! Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVUnntdBu_o

Enjoy!



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 30 Apr 2017, 12:08

Thanks Matie, I'll check this out! :)



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 30 Apr 2017, 12:09

DAY 103: Employment And Competition


The whole point of signing up to the course I am busy finishing is for a job. I have approximately one month to be mentally & physically prepared for placement at a facility. By prepare I mean that I have to go back over the books, finish another 6 assignments, instill vocabulary, watch videos of how things are done, rehearse presentation, write up my resume, go to class, buy clothing, buy equipment, and exercise to prepare myself for being on my feet for 6 - 8 hours a day. For me, this is not too hard/difficult.

It is not difficult/hard because I do not have any other responsibilities other than myself. I have the time to invest into preparing myself mentally & physically to be ready for placement. For others in my class, maybe not as much time as me. Some have children, and other responsibilities to take care of.

I've been using time to help me be prepared mentally & physically. What I do is I dedicate an hour and a half to the mental work (assignments, vocabulary building, etc.) and one hour to exercise (One hour of push-ups & weight lifting, on hour of yoga, etc.) then I repeat this all day long. I do change up the exercises and I am not allowed to cease doing that particular task until the alarm goes off (in one hour). This is the only way I can fully prepare myself for employment. With this amount of effort, I can see that if I do not get a contract, then I can say ''At least I put everything I had into it''.

What employment means for me

Employment means a great deal for me. It means that I will have the money necessary to provide for myself. In my life at the current, I live off basic survival money $460 a fornight... -279 for rent, and then I have $200 for food or other basics that I would require/need. With that $200 I have to make deductions for placement clothing - 110, other equipment, and the additional courses that will help increase my chances in securing employment in a competitive field - $170. I am going all out as best I can at this point to secure a contract.

Having a job will mean that I will not have to scrap by each fortnight. I'll be able to have more of a variety when it comes to food, I'll be able to move into my own place, I'll be able to provide my body with dental health, put more money into making money, and all around move up in the system. Oh and the big one, I'll be able to pay for my personal development courses & eqafe interviews... which means I'll spend a lot more on developing myself, etc. So, I have a lot depending on me to have a decent income. Hence why dedication & effective time management is necessary.

Well, down to the point for today.

I will be going on placement with four other individuals who I've had the chance to speak with in class. I am very comfortable with the four. There was one moment in class where one individual of the four was looking at me, and I did this funny dance move to make her smile. But, this individual did not smile, and I took that as 'so unlike the person'. Since then I've been wondering if I had done something wrong to the person or if now that we are 'going on placement' and there are contracts that we are now 'competitors' instead of classmates. I considered it for a while.

We are now competing for contracts in this particular workplace. It is very difficult when there is competitiveness for jobs/employment and this can often turn people against others. That fight for survival... survival of the fitest. But, regardless of this, I want to remain humble.

If one of my classmates received a contract and I did not, then I would want to be happy for then rather than that person who becomes spiteful, and jealous. So, I have seen this little competitiveness come out in me in regards to these one individual since I've pondered on why I didn't get a reaction from her, and that isn't being humble or being supportive of my fellow classmates. Overall, I know who/how I am going to be/become for myself in this time, and I am also going to be there for my classmates if they so need. It is best to be supportive then want/desire to compete.

Another way of looking at it could be that who/how I am going to be won't be 'competitive'. The work I'll be doing is about caring for the elderly, and other task related to that. These people will be my colleagues in that time, and therefore we will be a team. How can I secure employment if I am not being a Team player? I realised it is best to remain humble & be a team player where I do not base my efforts on competitiveness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have done something wrong to this individual when I did not get a smile from her

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowe myself to assume that I did not get a smile from her because she now see's me as a competitor rather than a classmate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have started to look at this individual and the others as competitors rather than colleagues, classmates, and team members.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my classmates who I'll be going on placement with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to size up/weigh up my qualities in comparison to them and feel that ''I am better than them/less than them''.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat '' these individuals are old & unfit for the job''.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that this individuals will be my colleagues whom I'll be working with to assist/support the elderly as best as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have shifted to seeing these people as competitors rather than classmates, possible colleagues, people who also want to assist/support themselves financially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that my need is greater then another's need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only 'some' are worthy of employment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that there are more benefits to being humble, and being happy for others than there are being egotistical and all for self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that my efforts are not for competition... my efforts are for me to be the best I can be.



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 08 May 2017, 00:40

DAY 104: Applying The Desteni Tools Keeps You Focused


When I am not at school, I spend the time working on priorities at home. In my own environment I am focused on assignments, making sure I am aware of the breath and self-forgiving every thought that I have. The time I fall out of this routine is when I go to school.

At school, I lose the discipline in applying the Desteni tools. I have more thoughts coming up on a school day then I would on a regular day at home. I'd be consistent of the morning, but it would be the future projections of everything that has to be done that would capture more of my focus. Then, I am swept in the mind, and it can become harder for me to apply discipline with the Desteni tools.

The whole day at school I would not have enough focus on the tools. I do try/attempt to regain that focus on the breath again, but it does become hard. I take my lose of focus on the tools to be a failure and a 'why bother' for the rest of the day. What changes this is the reminder of the affects thoughts have on the body, that I am dedicated to this process, and so standing back up to continue with the tools.

What the cause/core of all of this is the moments I spend in the mind in when preparing myself for school. There are loads of thoughts that I can become swept away in. These thoughts are of what people are going to think of this, what are we going to focus on today, I wonder who is going to be at class, do I look good today, I've got to do this today, that today, etc. Whereas on a regular day at home and/or going about the routine, I don't have that much of an accumulation of thoughts coming up. What I am able to do on a regular day at home is breathe and forgive every thought that comes up.

Another time where I lack discipline is when socialising and interacting with classmates. I'd lose the focus on breathing & applying. When in communication with others, I am to extent, aware, but not as aware as I could be if I was to breathe when socialising. It is like my lungs are lifting weights when I try/attempt to breathe in those moments. What I do relate this to is that maybe I am living out characters and personalities when at school -- which may cause the difficulty with breathing. This I will become more aware of when becoming disciplined with the tools at school.

I realise that applying the tools from the moment I wake up in the morning will assist/support me to not fall and start to accumulate thoughts.

I realise that being focused at school is about applying the Desteni tools.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a total failure for losing focus on the tools.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lost my focus at school by participating and generating thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts about how I look of a morning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in future projections that come up about what is going to happen when I am at school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have future projections of what the day is going to be like whilst I am at school.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have future projections about what I am going to say to my classmates.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run on autopilot through-out the day with no awareness of breath or self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the breath is a great tool for me to use when at school as it is in my home environment

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that applying the tools in schools will assist/support me more with being calm, slowing myself down, and being focused on what is being said, and what must be done practically, for me to be more effective in my course.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that as soon as I wake up what needs to be done is apply the tools of breathing & self-forgiveness & let the rest come together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not pushed past that feeling of my lung lifting weights every time that I breathe

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to find practical solutions for the loss of focus on the tools on a school day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that it would be necessary for me to include solutions to these moments of 'losing focus on tools' because what this means is that I've lost focus on being present in class, and not here in the moment with what is being said which is loss of attention in class.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that being more disciplined in class with the tools will be assistance/support for me in becoming more effective with what I am learning in class too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget the use of the tools of a morning on a school day.

I commit myself to make sure the tools are at the forefront when I wake up of a morning.

I commit myself to be more disciplined with the tools at school


I commit myself to push past the feeling of my lungs lifting weight



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 08 May 2017, 11:50

DAY 105: Push Past The Tired State Of Mind


I start my placement on the 29 of this month. A big sigh of relief when I say this. I've had to work extra hard this month to finish a cluster of assignments that need to be completed before the date of placement. I do find myself having to lock myself [only going out for a walk & class on specific days] in order to finish all the piled assignments that are on my desk.

I made the decision for this month to be dedicated to working on preparing myself for placement. This is rather hard considering that everything else needs to be out of the way for me to keep focused. That means no real contact with other individuals… except for those in class, and coming home, preparing meals, cleaning up, and then focused on these assignments then the exercise in between. I cannot complaint about it because that would be a waste of time when they need to be done.

One of the problems that has been occurring for me is that I'll become tired in the process of completing assignment questions. It is not a physical tiredness. It is not a physical tiredness because I could easily open up a web browser and watch 2 - 3 documentaries non-stop. It is more of a resistance to completing the assignment.

What I find is that if I was very dedicated in one whole day, I could complete about one and make it through a half assignment. Probably less than a whole day. If I were to not give-in the tiredness I could have spare time in the night for completion of assignments & further enjoyment in exercise whilst watching documentaries.

I do sleep for longer periods now that my life is pretty much completing of assignment. It is only until the 29th of this month. I'll want to sleep at early hours. For example, 7 p.m. through to 8:30 in the morning.

The tiredness comes from being tired of doing the assignments. It is not a tiredness physically because I can get up and be eager to lift weights or workout. This tiredness is a point that I would really like to push through and use the extra hours of a night rather than spend them sleeping to avoid what has to be completed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be less dedicated with completing the assignment and more dedicated to sleeping for long hours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself experience the tiredness when I am busy working on an assignment question

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to go to bed really early to avoid my assignments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have the back chat ''I don't want to do this anymore'' and think about preferring to sleep when I had already a lot of hours of sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that if I were living word dedication than I would already be finish most of my assignments that are due before the placement date.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I can live the knowing that I can do better & work on what needs to be worked on for placement & job purposes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that the more dedicated & effective I become with the time management, pushing past tiredness, and getting priorities done, the more time I will have leisure, socialisation, etc..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slow myself down by giving in to the state of mind of tiredness and giving up on the time that I have set for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that this time up until placement is time that will determine the outcome of my performance & whether I am prepared for employment.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I can do better than the way I've been going.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/reailize/understand that I can push through a state of mind 'tiredness' to use the extra hours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am tired when I can simply shift my focus and immediately that tiredness is gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that time can be best managed working on priorities that need to be done first and to get to a point where I can focus on other things in my life.

When and as I see myself experiencing the state of mind of tiredness - I Stop and I breathe - I realize that I've already had a lot of hours of sleep and could use these hours to progress further in completing task, doing exercise whilst watching documentaries.

I commit myself to push past the tiredness state of mind to use the extra hours to benefit me in my journey to employment.

I commit myself to use my time more effectively


I commit myself to sleep for 5 hours a night



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 10 May 2017, 01:25

DAY 106: Take Small Steps


I watched a video the other day. It was a self-supportive video from SOUL. I was not intending on watching a SOUL video, but this one was there and I decided to watch it. Listening & watching it I related the point to myself. It made me recognise that I have not been putting enough time into my writings, and how they may affect other people who will be reading them.

Once I watched the video, I knew then that I had to change this point about myself. What I identified that needs to be changed first is the amount of effort that I put into my writings. Because I have not had much time to focus on anything else but my course and it being the main opportunity to assisting/supporting me into employment, it has taken up most of my time.

With little time on my hands I invest about two hours when I write. I have the time here to write. What makes it the way my writings have been is my want to get everything out and move on to focus on other stuff. Which then shows no real effort in my writings. I can say that I haven't put the effort levels that I can into my writings. Another part is that I have not been investing time to read other people's vlogs, blogs, and SOUL videos. The effort for my process is not at the level it could be at.

All this requires reassessing my time, etc. Where I can use what is available to me for assistance/support. It clear that by watching that one video I became more aware of points that I probably knew deep down, but needed to see it on the surface for myself. So yeah, setting aside 4 hours in the early mornings to invest in Desteni, and another 2 - 3 hours before bed and increase the amount of effort that I put into my writings. Which would be best for all.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it harder on myself and others for not putting in enough time and effort into the desteni material and the additional material available.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that increasing effort levels for my writings will benefit me and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write from the starting point of wanting to just get it over and done with so I can move onto other task/jobs that need to be done.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that writing is the time where I can let go of what needs to be done in my life, where I am at in my life, and purely focus on one point that I would like to change about myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that being comfortable, relaxed, and aware will help me in my time of writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rigid, rushed, hurried and effortless when writing my blog for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that writing is a script where one can use to change oneself in one's life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take it slow, focus on things that can be changes, and live out the new script for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to take on big points in my life to change when it is always best to start off slow, and go from there.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that starting with what I can change myself practically will help me to see more success in my change.

I commit myself to in the early morning invest approximately 4 hours into Desteni studies

I commit myself to make my writing time relaxed and comfortable.


I commit myself to take as long as I need when writing a point.



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 12 May 2017, 05:54

DAY 107: Replaying Moment Of My Day Over And Over Again


Every Tuesday and Thursday I have the most enjoyable times of my life. On these days I go to a training institute where classes are held. In the space and time of being at this training institution, I have the opportunity to learn, socialise, and express myself. It has helped me so much in my life.

On these days I am around people who I learn a great deal from. I learn about a variety of stuff. It can be the personal lives of individuals, how to save someone's life using CPR, how to do first aid for a burn victim, how to use a defibrillator, how to use certain equipment, laws, and then it everything I learn through interacting with/and being around people who come from all different walks of life. All of these moments that I have with others all contain knowledge/information for me to grow. So, on these two days, I have the most fun & enjoyable time of my life.

What I have recognised about me is that I come home with all of these incredible moments that I've had with people that contain so much knowledge/information that I tend to feel very overwhelmed and overjoyed to have it. That is overwhelmed and overjoyed on a real energetic level too. No, the 'emotional overwhelmed' the ''This is so amazing'' overwhelmed. I will then fall into the pattern of constantly reminding myself of this small moment that is so incredible to me, or that small moment ''that was so awesome'', and in all of that I remain so super energetically overjoyed & overwhelmed by it.

With all these moments replaying in my mind I never remain in the current moment. I miss out on what I doing in the present/current moment. For example, when I am cooking my dinner is the time that I see I would go into these past moments to look at them, and watch them playing out in my mind. In the current/present moment I'd be cutting bread -- working with the stove, gather plates, etc. I miss out on being in that moment and all the other moments that I could be present with breath -- with what I am doing physically in that new moment. I miss out on all of that because I am back going through all the past moments I had with all the people in class.

My solution for myself

Looking at the type of person I am, I like to capture specific moments where I know I can use to create further opportunities. In those opportunities, I can grow, and further create more opportunities. What I came up with is to write some of these moments out exactly how they happened, and build upon them. For example, that specific moment where I had a conversation with someone who was showing me her interest in fashion. Where I saw her eyes light up, and her interest in the shops she goes to, and how that made me so interested that I wanted to ask further questions to hear more. Well, I could write 'case notes' about this, and then decide what I could do to build upon the communication with that individiual, etc.

I do not just have knowledge/information about what I am learning --- i have so much knowledge/information about other people, and that knowledge/information can be used to further grow my relationships with people. I realised that what it all comes down to is getting it out of my mind and into words. Writing is the only way to take it all out, have it captured, work with it, grow from it, and even create more opportunities with it. It helps to have a clearer mind too.

So, my solution was to each day write on specific moments that I want to capture --- then to write them out and breath through rather than replaying them over and over again in my mind which doesn't assist/support me to be aware in the current/present moment with what I doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave all this knowledge/information that I have on these two days in my mind where it becomes useless & forgotten.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that all the knowledge/information that I gain on these days can be written out where I am able to build, grow, remember, and even create more opportunities for myself to become more skilled.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to use the knowledge/information & the moments to only generate energy from

I forgive mysef that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize//understand that writing is the only way to capture the moment out of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste all these moments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go back into past moments of my day whilst I am doing something that is note 'writing about certain moments I've had in my day'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss out on the current moment by participating in past moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overjoyed & overwhelmed by all the knowledge/information that is gained in these moments.

When and as I see myself replaying past moments over and over again - I stop and I breathe - I realize that the current/present moment is a new moment for me to learn, expand, and grow from no matter what environment it is within.

I comit myself to write out the specific moments of knowledge/information that individual's tell me about their personal lives so that I can keep track/updated, and further grow in my relationships

I commit myself to write out specific moments where I've learned something new

I commit myself to use the tool of writing to help clear all of the knowledge/information that needs to come out.

I commit myself to use the knowledge/information to create further opportunities



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 15 May 2017, 08:15

DAY 108: Every Documentary Has A Story To Tell


I've spent the last few days finish off the assignments that needed completion. The process of completing training institution assignments can be mind numbing for me at times. I wanted to find a way to make the process more enjoyable and less mind numbing. I tried music for a while, but the sounds were very stimulating and distractive. I wanted something that was more insightful, and eye-opening. I decided to start watching documentaries whilst I completed assignments. Since then I've learned so much, and I've completed all of my assignments bit by bit.

At the beginning stages of testing this out for myself, I was very picky with what documentary I was to watch. My selection would be based on the ratings underneath the documentary. Looking for the higher rated documentaries became very time consuming and that isn't what I wanted. I decided to start from the newer released documentaries and work my way back to the older ones. By working this way I was not able to base on ratings, and would have to watch all the documentaries.

What I discovered is all of the documentaries was the lower-rated ones were also very insightful. I learned from each one of the documentaries that I watched. What I noticed is that I picked based on rating and other people's opinions but did not check out the documentary for myself. I'm glad I changed this about myself because it made me realise not to base something on others opinions or ratings but to check it out for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go by ratings and opinions of others when choosing a documentary to watch

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow what other people say about something without checking it out for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer to go with higher ratings of documentaries rather than checking out all the latest ones that still tell a story that I can learn, and understand.



User avatar
Danielle
Posts: 226
Joined: 13 Nov 2011, 23:27

Re: Danielle's Writings

Postby Danielle » 19 May 2017, 03:30

DAY 109: Taking On Too Much Responsibility


In class, there are people who struggle with the amount of work that is needed to be completed. The struggles are a result of absences, not understanding what the questions are asking, and/or other responsibilities that need to be tended to. I've had people approach me for assistance/support with their assignments/assessments. I've said ''Yes, I'll help to all of them''. I've said this in the forgetfulness of the amount of work & responsibilities that I have.

The way I help when I have little time is to hand over my own assignments to individuals that I know struggle and would rather see them succeed. What that does is put me in a position where I could potentially be in trouble if the assignments were to be too similar. I've stopped doing that as I was never comfortable with it to begin with. Another person who has been absent for a few weeks approached me to ask for my assignments a few days ago, and another asked if we could meet up at the library on a non-class day to help with their assignments. I was eager to help by going to the library with them. But then I heard that the Teacher was doing the exact same thing for non-class day to work one on one for people. I then decided that that person could go there rather than me give up my time & responsibilities.

This made me realise that I can say no to people when I do not have the time & if I do not feel comfortable with what they're asking from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured to hand over my assignments/assessments to a person who needs assistance/support

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I do not have to hand over my assignments if I do not wish to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that person being aggressive towards me if I was not to give them my assignments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty about deciding to not give my assignment/assessment to a person who can copy from it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for the individuals that chose to be absent, and unwilling to pay attention enough to do well on their assignments/assessments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for people who are struggling with their workload, and understanding of the question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to take on the responsibility of completing their assignments/assessment for them so that I can see them succeed

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am needing to focus a lot on myself for placement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowd myself to forget what I have to do for myself to focus on other people's work, and what they need to complete in their workload.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I need to put my attention into preparing myself for placement and furthering to employment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose focus of what I must do for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for not having enough time to assist/support other people in the class.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about saying no to people when they ask for assistance/support with their assignments.




Return to “Writing Yourself to Freedom”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron