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Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 02 Oct 2017, 13:05
by Danielle
DAY 83: Taking Verbal Abuse Personally

I was not going to write this evening. I have to get up in 5 hours for work. I have another 24/hour shift and a long walk in the rain ahead of me. Ahhhh.. Not having a car can make things abit more time consuming and straining on the body. But once I am up, had a coffee, under the umbrella and walking it isn't so bad. My body is the strongest part of me. Without it, I wouldn't know where I'd be. Lol. I've been through a hell of a lot but my body remains in good condition. I am very thankful and grateful to have my body.

Well, I spoke to soon about my job being fun. Lol. I guess I was in the honeymoon phase. It does happen being a new employee. Glad I have staff willing to tell me their experience. Thats helped.

Being a support worker is very challenging. There is a broad range of skills that are required to be an effective support worker. I am grateful to have realised that for myself and indeed will have to enhance them in good time. What makes it a challenging job depends on the condition, circumstance, mental health and physical condition of the individual. In some cases, support workers assist/support people with high needs. The individuals with high needs can be very reactive and have trigger points that if you set off or say a word with having a form of manipulation or distraction but has an intended outcome to sway the client..then they will go off and verbally abuse.

Being verbally abused was not what I had in mind. Well, I knew that it could happen. But I didn't know that I'd have a reaction to it that would be of shock. I've seen the worse of the worse when it comes to all types of abuse. I had believed myself unshakeable and I kind of am in a lot of ways. What makes it hard is once being verbally abused or put down in someway my way of responding is to show the person that it isn't ok by either getting them out of my life "off you go" or talking them that it is not ok. Verbal abuse is what I consistently experienced at some point of the week all the years growing up and it's bloody ridiculous. I don't deserve to be treated those ways.

When working as a support worker one can only communicate and let the person know that the behaviour is unacceptable, leave the house if feeling unsafe, and wait till they calm down (depending on the circumstances). Depending on the person, what has been communicated may not be registered and lived out by the client. They may not be able to comprehend due to a variety of factors. So, it is up to me to take responsibility.

Work is not personal. We cannot treat it in a way that we would our personal life. It's a job, there's policy and procedures we follow, laws we live under, etc. We are all going to face challenges in the workplace at some point. What we can do, is take responsibility for what comes up within us when we are faces with such challenges.

Self forgiveness to come.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 05 Oct 2017, 12:14
by Danielle
DAY 84: Taking Verbal Abuse Personally Pt 2

''The individuals with high needs can be very reactive and have trigger points that if you set off or say a word with having a form of manipulation or distraction but has an intended outcome to sway the client..then they will go off and verbally abuse.'' What I meant to say here is that if the support worker doesn't word their words in a way that doesn't indicate a form of control or taking away the client's independence and the client picks up on it, then it is likely to be a trigger point for them.

A support worker does have to play a few mind games in the best interests of the client so that they do not do something that is detrimental to their health. That is why the way we word our words and what the words stem from are key when working with the client. So, what I wrote in my last writings, I viewed the mind games as a form of manipulation and if you do not use that play on words, then it will potentially lead to the client reacting. Just wanted to clear that mistake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when clients react to the way I word my words when working with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shocked when a client lashes out at me because they didn't get their own way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to treat my cients ike I would people in my personal life and get them out of my life quick smart.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that the clients I work with may not be able to comprehend, register or completely/fully understand that their behaviours are not ok due to a variety of factors.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tense when a client lashes out at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to immediately argue back with a client when that just fuels the fire and doesn't calm the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my clients to understand that their behaviours are not ok when they're overmedicated, dealing with mental illness and other health conditions that limits their full capacity and/or affects their behaviours in a lot of ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I can treat my clients like I would people in my personal ife.

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that work is not personal as I am under policies and procedures, laws, structures, rules and the companies ways of working, that are all in place to make sure that I am holding up my duties as the role of a support worker

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that talking personally about myself with a client is a sure way to take things personally rather than seeing at work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share personal stuff about me thinking that it would help with a particular client when it is part of the job not to share personal information about oneself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that what I can do as a support worker is to make sure that I am trusting mysef in my words, my decisions for the client, document and make sure that I am upholding the policies and procedures, laws, etc.

When and as I see myself taking the reactions of clients personally - i stop and I breathe - I realise that if I am in reaction then it will not help the situation, or calm it down, I do not take it personally, and simply assist/support the client where i can, and based on my judgment of the situation, do what is necessary so that it does not escalate.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 09 Oct 2017, 04:42
by Danielle
Last Thursday I received my first pay from work. It was cool to have more than the basic survival money. On the way home, I wanted to have a haircut. I've had a hairstyle that I want in mind for a while and as my hair it curly, it was due for a haircut. The haircut I wanted was a very playful hairstyle. I've been bald, had long hair, short hair, etc. But this one hair style I wanted. I wanted to see what it could be. As I have moved into my new apartment, I needed to find a new hairdresser in the city centre.

I spotted a hairdresser's in a walkway shopping mall. Lol. The shop looked comforting and inviting. But then again, coming off of a 12 hour shift (7pm - 7am)… anything with a chair looks comfortable. I walked into the shop and the hairdresser was very enthusiastic. A breath of fresh air in the morning. I consider this to be one of the ways she has long-term customers and has found that it works to keep them coming back. Also it was inviting to see a great smile. I wasn't able to completely match her enthusiasm. But we started small and we started talking.

What I liked about my hairdresser is that she was genuinely interested in my story/life. See, hairdressing isn't just about cutting hair. When your clients (as she and I call them) come in, they want to have a talk about themselves and their lives. Keep their hairdresser up-to-date with what is going on. I'd say that for a hairdresser like this… they require some counselling skills, active listening skills, etc. which this hairdresser had. When more customers came in we were all in conversation and I met several more customers whom she was introducing me to. Lol. There was one woman that she was telling me about that worked in Government Disability Services (high up). She was a support worker for years and is now all the way up in a higher position for disability support workers in government. My hairdresser said she was coming in there shortly. I'm glad I stuck around and agreed to foils in my hair. Lol. Once she had arrived her and the hairdresser spoke. I sat back and let them speak for a while. Happy to observe the interaction between the two. That's when they turned to me and got onto the topic about the disability support industry.

I told her that I work for a dodgy company. Which is very true. I've been in the company for 2 weeks and all I've heard from the staff are complaints. It explains why the interview was not professional and why I am not being trained to work with the clients. Her reply when I mentioned the company's name was ''That's shit.. What are you doing there?''.. As if she knew about it and it's dodgy ways. She went on to tell me in such an entertaining way that this is a booming industry and there are plenty of positions available for this type of work. Including in government. At that point I felt a little silly as I haven't done my research on ALL opportunities that are available out there for support workers. But she went on to tell me when the next intake is for government recruitment. She gave me the run down on what they do when they're interviewing as she is one of the people who do the interview process, she said that she will prep me for it, and that everyone thinks it is all professional because it is government but all the people who are doing the interview are doing is a tick and flick. But it's still important to treat it professionally (in my opinion). Once I told her about the drama that has been happening at work and what the other staff have to say, she told me to focus on what I can do for my clients on that day when I am working with them. Not to involve myself in the drama or the politics. Which is what I planned to do as soon as I heard all the stuff that has been happening. She told me that experience is something they look for too. So, I considered remaining where I am until January. There are plenty of options that I have in this industry.

What I do find myself doing is getting caught up in the bullshit that is happening at work. I switch over with another staff members who do complain about the company. I see myself engaging in it slightly as I have picked up an idea of what is going on based on everything that I have heard and my own observations. Through that I am sometimes filtering through myself the same waves that people are on. The type of person that I want to be is one that looks for solutions. I noticed that most of people that work in this company have no qualifications or formal training other than myself. So, I have a chance to move into other companies. Whereas some other staff do not have that opportunity because of the lack of qualification and money to study those qualifications. But If I am preped for the government interview then I can prep people who I enjoy talking to in my work so that they can have an opportunity too and/or let them know about the company my sister works for… which is quite a stable company and has a good reputation.

In the workplace there is likely to be a bunch of problems that will arise. The problem could be, in this case, the sheer dodgy company where there is stuff going on behind the scenes that is very visible and not best for all. If the company is not likely to listen to staff complaints, take hours off of people's pay, is not prepared to change its ways, and/or investigate circumstances, then it's probably not the best company to work for. It is not easy to simply let go of a company and walk away because of the money factor. But it's also not best to stay in a company that is not best for all. What one can do is start investigating solutions, have a time frame for leaving the company, not involve themselves in the workplace politics, speak up on matters that are directly related to your work or pay, focus on yourself and what you can do for your customers or clients. That's the best way to handle a situation when working in a dodgy company. There are plenty more companies and job opportunities out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recycle the same problems out of my mouth that I know of and other staff members know of

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a part of the problem by venting & ranting about the company with other staff members rather than creating solutions for myself to leave the company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about what the owners of this company do with all the funding they receive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that complaining to other staff members does not assist/support or benefit the clients who are linked to this company.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that the problems that exist in this company need to be known by higher ups in a position to do something about it rather than keeping it between myself and other staff members where it can be shared onto the next person and the next person and nothing be done.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that the best options I have whilst working at this company is to go do my shifts, be the best I can be in my work, care for my clients and do everything that is required of me to be successful in my job.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand there are plenty of opportunities in disability services industry that I can be a part of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel silly for not researching all of my available opportunities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worthy to work in government.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior for a job in government.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I wouldn't stand a chance in a government job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not suitable for a job in government.

When and as I see myself recycling the complaints & rants about the company to other staff - I stop and I breathe - I realise that to be the solution, I can give myself a timeframe to research other options, prepare for other opportunities, build myself up and then once that time frame is up… leave the company and make formals compliments that I've observed and heard from other staff members to higher ups.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 10 Oct 2017, 07:44
by Danielle
DAY 86: Slowing Down To Be Effective

I've noticed mistakes in my writings for a long time now. The mistakes turn what I wanted to say into something entirely different. I'll say ''it does'' but when I read over after I've shared my writings and it will say ''it doesn't'' or I'd want to say with and later when I read it will say ''without''. lol. These little errors change the whole meaning at times. A few reasons to why this is happening is because I have a tendency to rush my writings and not look over them before I send them out.

I live a life that requires me to have a rushed pace. I haven't been able to slow down. As a result of my life always being on-the-go, things popping up here, this situation/event arising, now working predictable and unpredictable shifts, I've had to rush even more. I am the same way in my writings. I want to be dedicated to my process on-top of creating a life for myself where I do not have to rush every single day. Where I can be comfortable, relaxed and still earn money, lol. As a result of living the way I do, my writings can be rushed and therefore I'll make mistakes, not proofreading my writings and/or double checking, yeah... It's not beneficial to do. It is not that I do not have the time to slow down when I am writing... It is that I've been so conditioned to this fast pace for years that I find it hard to slow down. If I do slow down the progression in the system slows down and that isn't what I want as I don't like to waste time. However, for my writings and because I want to strengthen the word dedication when it comes to my process.. it would be necessary to slow down for my writings and double check. As for me slowing down in my life, that will come when I have a life where it doesn't require me to be so on the go and moving consistently and constantly. Which is possible to create. One just needs to be prepared to put the work in, step out of comfort zones and work for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated about the errors/mistakes in my writings that change the whole meaning of what I wanted to say.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about the errors/mistakes that change the meaning of what I want/wanted to say in my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so rushed when I am sitting down to write for the day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not double check my writing for errors/mistakes before sharing them and/or even just keeping them personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to send out my writing without having double checked them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being quicker & getting my writings done without 100% or more is the way to be dedicated in my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my current circumstances for why I am not double checking my writings or proofreading before sharing or storing in my computer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see writings as just another obligation or thing I must get done at the end of the day so that I can relax, be comfortable, do what I want to do, and sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that writing is about deprogramming what comes up within and/as me throughout the day so that I can live and be practical change in my life where the pre-programming doesn't run my life or continue to cause problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that writing is a script to change me and not be limited by my pre-programming

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take my writings seriously

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that writing does not work when I have seen changing in myself ever since I've started writing all those years ago

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to have not written my writing in the most effective way that I could where I speak about the problem and bring it to a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rushed in my writings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the environment and the way I have to live my life as an excuse to why I haven't been my best at my writings

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that it is possible to be more relaxed, comfortable, and calm when I write

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that there are plenty of opportunities out there to assist/support myself to make sure that I do not have to consistently be on the go, at a rushed pace, unable to slow down or focus on what I want to do.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I can create a life where I am able to be relaxed, comfortable and focus on what I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself about having to be so rushed, on the go and work long hours.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that given the life I've had I do have to work harder, faster and longer to get to where I want to go/be in my life.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that working harder, faster and longer to achieve goals that I want to achieve for myself will help move things along to where I can get to a point where I am happy doing what I do and am able to focus on what I want to do for myself and others.

When and as I see myself wanting to rush my writing and get them over and done with - I stop and I breathe - I realise that my writings are a script for how I am going to live out my change and will require more time and effort for me to consider how I am going to live out that change and who I will be/become within and as it.

When and as I see myself not wanting to slow down when I am about to write - I stop and I breathe - I realise that in order for me to be effective with deprogramming, I have to make sure that the scripts I write up for myself are done while I am relaxed, comfortable and prepared to do the work & effort it involves.

I commit myself to sit for 15 minutes before I write so that I can cool down, slow down, rest, be in a relaxed state, be comfortable and so prepared to deprogram & re-script my life.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 11 Oct 2017, 06:10
by Danielle
DAY 87: How To Deal With Traumatic Flashbacks

Still to this day I have Flashbacks of the way certain people have treated me in my life. The treatment has caused a lot of damage. I do trust myself when I say "if these people had not treated me the way they did... My life would have been extraordinary". It's always disappointing when we come across people who want to bully you, start conflict, manipulate you, deceive you, lie to you, push you into having a breakdown, try force you into what they want you to be, make you think there is something wrong with you, deny you assistance/support, even if you're doing everything you can to assist/support yourself, betray you, treat unequally incomparison to everyone else, try make you believe that what was done wasn't done or said, try suppress you, deny you the access to assist/support yourself, don't bother to ask questions but would rather impose themselves and believe that they're right about you, ignore you when you consistently say that something beneficial for you, consistently make you go do things that you no is not necessary, and put you through process that waste more time for you and require more work for other people, continue to tear you down, make it rules for you and no rules for themselves and then whilst you're down, to top it off, continue to deny you access and then blame you for all of it even know they're the ones making all the decisions and are responsible for it all and further try to make you look bad in front of other people and even say to them that you're a bad person.. Yet these people don't ever question you to see of anything is beneficial for you, and/or ever take the numerous opportunities you gave them to assist/support you and them with the very solution to the problem.

Mhmm.. I often have Flashbacks of what these people have done. It comes up in small moments and it can bring me down if I let get to me. But regardless of what these people have done I've been very fortunate to have people that have assisted and supported me in the past. For that I am grateful. It keeps me humble knowing that.

A way to work with traumatic Flashbacks that instantly pull you down with emotional charges attached to them as the shock is to breathe, bring oneself back here, forgive the memory, forgive the emotions, remain humble, focus on what one has in their life, know that there are good people on this world, continue to walk process, make use of all that is available, Soul, Dip Pro, and blogs of others, share unconditionally, and focus on what you came here to do, trust yourself and continue to put yourself out there. Because if we let these Flashbacks continue to get the better of us then we won't ever get back up. So continue to walk process, breathe, let go, forgive and be humble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to emotionally react within sadness at all the ways that certain individuals behaved to/towards that has caused so much damaged to my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the Flashbacks of what these people have done continue to dictate and control my moods, my emotions, my life, and so bring me back down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect these people to apologise for what they've done to my life and my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sorry is going to change what has happened and what has already been done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to memories that come back as Flashbacks to the way these people had continuously treated me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry about all the damage that these people have caused me despite everything that I said to them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously questioned why these people would want to ever do that to someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that there is something wrong with me because of the way those people continued to act as if there was and have me be sent to psychologists who gave e all sorts of diagnosis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel upset about all the date that this has caused me on my life

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that there are good people I'm certain groups who are not like that and will not treat me the ways I was treated.

I forgive myself that I have let accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that there is nothing wrong with me.. It was simple the way I was treated that caused all the problems

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I did the best I could to assist/support myself and these individuals by creating opportunities for these individuals to stop what they were doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry at those individuals for the lack of consideration, and regard that they had when they were continuously causing damage to my life when I was doing my best to assist/support myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that these individuals were ever assisting/supporting me in and around a certain situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that real assistance/support is not denying someone access to what will assist/support them, not lying to them, not trying to impose yourself, listening to the individual or client when they're saying that something is not beneficial for them, assisting and supporting in the best ways possible where no one is harmed, not making them feel like they're wrong or something is wrong with them, questioning an individual and listening to what they have to say so they're comfortable and happy too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a mental illness because people continued to act and behave like there was something wrong with me in the past when really it was the way people went about the situation and the choices they made.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad about my self image being manipulated by/through having gone to several psychologists as a requirement to come back into something that I knew was always beneficial for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that it's not about getting revenge of people that have continuously and consistently harmed me on my life but it's about remaining humble and focusing on myself, my life, those who have not harmed me, and the process, the tools and what I came here to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was wrong for not being who/how those people wanted me to be and become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry about what I had to do just to come back into what Ive known to be assistive/supportive for me since I was 16 - 17 years old.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry about people trying to deter me away from what is best for all

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself regardless of the bulletin people say or do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too much work for certain individuals when they only make it harder on themselves because of who/how they're with me and the decisions they make regarding my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that being here is not about seeking revenge but about remaining focused on my process, walking my courses, remaining humble, and focused on what I have asked for.

When and as I see myself having Flashbacks of the way these people have treated me over the years along with all the understanding that comes with it - I stop and I breathe - I realise that I cannot let these memories get the better of me or run my life. I forgive them, let them go, and continue about my life, and my day.

When and as I see myself experiencing emotional charges to how people have treated me - I stop and I breathe - I realise that remains humble, focused on what I need to do, continue to change, and focusing on what I have for myself, and the good people who have assisted and supported me is key.

I commit myself to forgive and let go of these Flashbacks.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 11 Oct 2017, 23:26
by Danielle
DAY 88: We Can Create Heaven On Earth

As I do not have a full license or a car at the moment, I have to use public transport to make to my clients homes. I don't mind it when I can catch a bus. But at times the bus doesn't come as early enough for me to make it to my clients house. My other option is to catch a taxi.

In the cab I've had the drivers open up to me about themselves. It happens quite easily. A topic that has come up twice now is about the vote for same-sex marriage in Australia. The first driver to bring it up first spoke about his love for music, his life as a teenager, his kids, where he was born and then he brought up that he votes yes for same-sex marriage and his children did too.

The second time a driver brought it up was yesterday morning. The process happened the same way. The last topic again randomly went to same-sex without me having said anything at all really. He asked what my thoughts on it was.

I didn't want to say anything about it as I don't particular want to state whether I am for or against with someone I don't know as it could potentially start conflict. What I did do is let him tell me his beliefs, thoughts and opinions about it. This person gave me the "God doesn't allow that", "it's a sin.. They won't get into heaven", "They will go to hell", "God hates it", "But you don't have to worry about that cause you don't do any of that". At the time he was saying it.. I didn't have a reaction in a heavy way. I've heard it all before, and didn't really judge him for it. I just found his view to be very limiting and closed off. By the time he was done speaking and giving me the rest of my change I was already out of the cab listening from the passenger door. I said I will leave you with some words... "We can create heaven on Earth" and I shut the door.

The reason why I said this is because I creating heavy on earth involves equality on all levels. Meaning, equality for people who do like the same-sex intimately and sexually, and because he seemed to believe heaven was somewhere other than here.

I did start wondering if these topics coming up so randomly had anything to do with how I look/appear. I am a woman with short hair and I do wear accordingly to what fits my body, what I am comfortable wearing, what is suitable for work , and what I can afford. But still people have preconceived ideas attached to labels such as lesbian or gay. All the images from TV of people who were label gay or lesbian are then filtered trough people's mind and so the stereotypical view seeing out of their own limited view of an individual. When people who like/enjoy the same-sex sexually and intimately are not labels and/or limited to that.

To be continued..

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 14 Oct 2017, 00:50
by Danielle
DAY 89: We Can Create Heaven On Earth Pt2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to talk about the my perspectives and insights about same sex marriage and equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel afraid to speak on topics about like of the same sex intimately and sexually

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict starting if I speak my insights, experience and perspectives with people on the topic of same sex relationships and marriage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pitty the Christian mindset

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for the Christian mindset

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my safety around the Christian mindset

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the Christian mindset

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking to a Christian about how the beliefs that they will limit them in life

I forgive myself that haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that for heaven on Earth to be create we will need equality on all levels

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hated for who I will have as a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being hated for my enjoy/like for the same-sex sexually and intimately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being attacked for who I will have for my partner later on life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the words and labels use for people who have a like/enjoy/of the same-sex intimately (on all levels) and sexually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the verdict of the vote not being a direction towards equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will come up inside of me if the vote is not towards equality

When and as I see myself being afraid to speak about same sex relationships and marriage from my viewpoint - I stop and I breathe - I realise that this could be an opportunity to help another person consider a different way of looking at things that they may not have before.

Re: Danielle's Writings

Posted: 14 Oct 2017, 04:24
by Danielle
DAY 89: Owning Up To Mistakes

A support worker has to be more responsible when it comes to working with the high needs clients. The support worker's job is to document everything, make sure they're eating right foods, checking blood levels, assisting with medication, keeping an eye on the client, showering the client, keeping the client entertained, clean the house, take care of the pets, monitor the money that goes in and out, follow the policies and procedures, report to office if anything happens, work through emotional outbursts and deal with physical abuse and verbal abuse. On top of having to do all of this, a support worker has to make sure they do not make mistakes.

I've been working in a community care company for almost 3 weeks now. I did make some errors in the paperwork. But I fixed them up and corrected them. The other one mistake I made was to give someone the wrong type of food. It wasn't a big deal, and I can understand how the mistake happened. But for me, I understand that the role of a support worker is to ensure that the client's health be considered all the time when it comes to food. Especially a high needs client. A staff member picked me up on my mistake and I found myself wanting to cover up my mistakes so that I do not lose my own perfectionist view. I class myself as a perfectionist and it is impossible for me to make mistakes. lol. But I made the mistakes and I was called out on it. So, I tried to cover my forgetfulness and postponement up.

It is best to own up to mistakes that are made instead of trying to cover them up. Even if it is just minor mistakes, don't try kid another person or yourself. It ends up turning into a draining process that you end up feeling bad, guilty and at the end of the day you have to live with yourself, and in a self-honest way, you'll know that it wasn't best for all and you know that you cannot be effective at your job if you deny that you've made a mistake. Owning up to the mistake, being direct about it, taking responsibility for it and any consequences that happen as a result, is the best way to deal with the situation. It makes it easy of everyone.

I realise that owning up to mistakes is easier then denying or trying to cover the mistake up

I realise that owning up to mistakes is part of being an effective human being

I realise that it's a support worker's duty to own up to mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try cover up the mistakes that I made when working with a high needs client

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my job over mistakes I make

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to avoid documenting everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone reading client information

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist reading the client information

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my job to be laid back and fun all of the time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realise/understand that it is important to document and read everything that is in the notes, folders, letters and emails to assist/support my client.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sloppy documentation can go unseen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat documentation the way I've seen other staff members do it instead of trusting myself to be very detailed and specific

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that part of being responsible is owning up to mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to keep this idea of me being a perfectionist.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could never make a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try cover up sides to myself that other people identify

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and hide from consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for covering up my mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for covering up my mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear come between effective working relationships.

When and as I see myself trying, wanting/desiring to cover up my mistakes - I stop and I breathe - I realise that it is easier on everyone to own up to my mistakes, admit them and demonstrate how I will correct them and the solution to make sure that it won't happen again.

I commit myself to trust myself in my job

I commit myself to ask questions if I am unsure

I commit myself to own up to my mistakes

I commit myself to create the structure for how I am going to work with the client so that everything about the client is taken into consideration.