Something to consider is that stopping the mind does not mean you cannot 'at all' use your mind, in fact I'd say that the idea of 'stopping the mind' can sound very confusing because we are the mind, we are our body and we are our being - all that this process is about is related to standing as the directive principle in your mind and in your body, making decisions to live in a supportive way.
It is cool you are starting to self forgive some of your experiences, though based on you having an experience of 'not knowing where to go from here' I'd say that if you haven't yet walked through the DIP Lite course, you can consider doing so, because the structure there will assist you in understanding what it means to start walking through your mind with support for you in relation to getting to know how to live/apply the tools of self-support.
If you are not comfortable taking the course in English, just write in Spanish and someone will assist you in Spanish as well. That way you learn to take the steps to develop self-writing, identifying which points to self forgive and eventually get to see which way to correct them, all of this based on your day to day experience. So, check it out if you haven't yet!
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