I haven't stopped

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David Robert
Posts: 64
Joined: 05 Jul 2011, 17:39
Location: Plattsburgh, NY
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I haven't stopped

Postby David Robert » 03 Aug 2017, 19:46

I first started the process in 2009, although at the time I didn't quite know what it was at the time, at the time it was just attempting to explore what was self perfection. I would say sometime in 2010 it really took off for me and I was actively following desteni and I was haha well quite loud about it because I found this amazing thing and everyone needed to know about it. Of course the massive resistance from others and just plain nastiness, I persisted for a bit trying to share but I didn't quite understand that it had to be well like shared in a way and in moments when others could understand, based on where they were in their process. So there I was blabbing about self forgiveness and all these other desteni things, this was before eqafe and i was mostly reading articles on main website and listening to Bernard on youtube. I really didn't even know much of what the fuck I was talking about honestly having barely began all of this myself, and probably still don't. But I was sharing the message and what not. Anyways at some point the push back from others was massive and I became quiet, which I realize now was for the best because it's given me all this time to better understand the process myself. I continued to self forgive but I wasn't pushing desteni on others and I guess slowly over time I supported others less but it was much more effective because it was explain in ways they could understand. And of course I had my moments and still do have moments of not supporting others. I took all the time after some life events to focus on stability in the system as far as career and financial stability. I joined the marine corps, I worked in a factory, then was a prison security officer, and now a police officer. I would say the highlight of all this time 2011-2017 has been being about successful and facing the barrage of thoughts and energies, fears, things in my mind. It's been tough, and I endured it for very very long, and I feel like now I am at a point now where I know what the fuck is going on that I can correct myself. Sometimes it's hard for my to tell a thought from honesty on what I'm doing and that's because I participate feelings, fears, and emotions when I am determining what it is I am facing in my mind. So I sit here and am like what the fuck Dave, what the fuck have you really done besides gotten system stable what do you have to show. It's not really about showing anyone else anything but part of even being here and writing this is to sorta say "hey I'm still here, I'm moving along slower than you guys but I haven't stopped or given up." Anyways so 7 years much slower than everone haha very much a sinner, very much trying to determine when is best to do certain supportive things, it's strange for me because police officer is very like a certain image and I have to not only alienate myself from coworkers, but accomplish a job and when you are enforcing the law hahaha you aren't quite gonna be like "have you tried self forgiveness." Long term goal is to leave law enforcement in 7 years and have my own business so I don't have to participate in enforcement of things that are not best for all and participate social acceptable things associated with my current career, meaning having to present a certain image of myself to my coworkers and others so I don't harm my position in the system. So what have I done, I've stopped using tobacco, and I've "grown" I've definitely learned a lot about myself, I've definitely began doing things differently, I've been much more aware, I'm not perfect but I've started. That's a good word, I have definitely started. I have a rough sketch and I need to take these rough points and begin to sharpen them. I have no one in my life to talk about this stuff on the level that I would like, I can have discussions yes, but it's haha always like talking about desteni process and life without calling it and staying within the boundaries what most people accept reality is which as we know is mostly the minds reality and the curtain over their eyes hasn't been opened as much. It's like I can't discuss myself with them in a way that I see it because they aren't there yet. Also if you have instagram let me know! It would nice to be able to instant message people and have discussions from
Time to time. Much more to come.



Marlen
Posts: 4120
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:16
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Re: I haven't stopped

Postby Marlen » 03 Aug 2017, 20:30

Hey David Robert! it's quite cool to read you again. I did 'left off' where you were going to join the marines, and it's very cool to read where you've gotten yourself now. I got a couple of comments to share on how you may be seeing yourself and your choices, life situation in terms of 'you being slow' or whatever else. Nope, man, each one has a very 'unique' process in the sense that no one else is in your shoes, your same living conditions, life experience, process etc, so this is not about being fast or slow, it's about the ways you've decided to live your life and where you're at right now and the purpose you've given yourself to it, which sounds quite cool in terms of where you're at. In a nutshell, don't be hard on yourself!

I bet that you have gotten to see first hand a lot of things that surely have helped you 'mature' more and man, we all have, a lot of us were quite young when first getting here so, time has gone by but not in vain at all. I now see our process its ups and downs as roads we in a way had to walk to get to where we currently are and that's why it's rather cool to see your commitment to yourself and how you've also stopped desiring to 'save others' or 'change others' which I can relate to as well, and how you've then focus on yourself, your own personal life, stability and how it's become easier to share things, but yeah definitely best to share by being the living example rather than throwing 'alien' concepts at people without any proper context or background for them to grasp it, so I've learned quite a bit from 'wanting to change others', sometimes not the most 'sweet' way, lol, but that's also part of how I go realizing things in my life, and grateful for it.

So! I do have instagram, I don't use it that often though, but there's a bunch of people here that are quite active on it. I'm as 'marlenlife' I think.

I know how it goes with not having 'many places' to share about what you see/realize in process, but do consider you can still share, if you are not comfortable with using your 'own name' can use a pseudonym as well, point is sharing, and I bet you do have some interesting realizations from your professions there, they all sound like the kind of positions that make you 'face the tough things in life' so, I'm quite interested in reading more about your experience in it, so, if you have more to share, do so here.

Welcome 'back'!



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Leila
Posts: 2046
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 21:45
Location: South Africa
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Re: I haven't stopped

Postby Leila » 04 Aug 2017, 19:41

Hey David Robert,

cool to see you around again. I suppose for many, once you've heard the Desteni message, it is very difficult to 'unhear' it.

Don't compare your path to anyone. Because there is no 'one path' everyone walks, everyone walks their own path, unique to their process. I've seen people who were gone for years and meeting them again who I could barely recognize, because even though they hadn't per se been visible, they kept to the principles and just needed to walk on their own for a while. And equally so, people who have been very visible, looking from the outside it looks like they are 'on it' - but do not actually live the substance of the message in their every day life. You know yourself, you know your living situation - and that's the beauty of self-honesty.

In terms of your job, I'd say that currently there is no one singular job that is 'best for all'. We are all in this world and having to deal with how the world has been set up throughout the ages, which has been perpetuating separation and inequality. It's a manifested consequence we cannot escape. So rather than looking at a job to fulfill the position of being 'best for all', focus on who you are within whatever it is that you do.




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