So while yes, I agree that drugs shouldn't be a justification to not walk your process, I would also say careful here in not allowing specifically the statement "I can still do SF on drugs" as a justification to do drugs. The point is your self-honesty, and the reasons you are doing what you are doing. So while you may be walking through a point of addiction to drugs, don't give yourself the space to keep doing it just because you are doing self-forgiveness. You know better than anyone that is another way to abuse one's self-forgiveness.I was sober for 2 weeks. but I relapsed.im considering that I shouldn't let that limit me as in thinking that since I'm on drugs I'm mind fucked and I cant walk my process this way. ican still do sf on drugs.
I got cought and am now gona have to face the consequences which I'd prefer not have manifested/allowed for myself,
You can see already allowing the behavior to continue will create more suffering for you as consequences of your actions. You may not want to face what is existent within you now, but will it get any easier if what you create comes from the suppression and avoidance? We know we cannot run and hide, that we will have to face the truth of ourselves, and while yes, it is the hardest thing we will ever do in our lives, it comes with the greatest reward, because in that facing, and embracing, and forgiving, and slowing down, and changing the way we make decisions and our direction we slowly but surely build our self trust, and our integrity and our resilience to the shit we put ourselves through and we say "No" more often, and we accept and allow less and less until what we accept and allow is only what is best for ourselves and others. Every decision has an outflow, and our starting point for each decision creates the play out... push, and fight, and stand in the face of your greatest enemy as the mind to give yourself another opportunity. Each moment, each fucking breath is our opportunity. And every time you come to write, with a self-honest starting point, you are nurturing that opportunity and potential to change your mind. Don't give up D.Because I'll believe that experiencing myself as 'suffering' is just not worth it. But at the same time, I know that I might suffer far more later if I don't stand up now. or I might miss my Life and I have thoughts of envy against LIfe because they are going to experience infinite pleasure for ever and I like experiencing pleasure. But I guess if I don't stand up then that means that I didn't really exist anymore, or at least there wasn't enough 'Real common sense' in me left; not enough Life Force.
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